Rumble

Though most the viewers are currently exposed to a bitter winter chill, Mark Comeau looks positively toasty. He has busted out his Hawaiian button up sleeveless tee, even while standing in the middle of the Amway Center’s drafty parking garage.

Mark Comeau: Ladies and gents, Mark Comeau here on the scene, LIVE from the Amway Center in Miami Florida for IWC Last Stand….and I’m being joined by Riot! General Manager, as well as the official Advisor to the President, Frankie Paradise.

Excitement doesn’t even begin to describe the current disposition of Paradise, who ensures he is camera ready by fixing the tie that is taped to his larynx.

Frankie Paradise: Welcome gents to IWC Last Stand..the penultimate pay-per-view before we reach Invictus…another huge milestone in the storied legacy of this federation. And tonight, goosebumps are already forming, excitement is already building, enthusiasm is stiffening nipples the world over….because we are going to find out who will challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship at that fabled event known as Invictus, by means of an all-together BRUTAL over the top rope Rumble match.

Frankie shares the enthusiasm….BUT….he seems to be excited for something that doesn’t involve the Rumble or Yvonne Knight bending over to lace up her boots.

Frankie: And speaking of that magnificent battle of attrition, I am here to whet your ravenous appetites with a teaser of events to come.

Comeau: You seem WAY too excited….You didn’t take that Ketamine at all did you?

Frankie: Not at all, because there shall be mass quantities of ketamine required, Mark, to keep the IWC fans under control once the man I personally signed to a contact makes his debut IN the Rumble match itself.

Comeau: So all that brouhaha wasn’t just blowing smoke up our asses? You legitimately DO have a major signee.

Frankie: Not only that, you drug addled wretch of a human being, but MY mega-star, will be making his official debut tonight, and he WILL be competing in the Rumble. Does it get any bigger than that? I think not.

Comeau: Big news there.

Frankie: Big….NO…..MONUMENTAL…..YES.

An awe struck Paradise stares into the heavens.

Comeau: So WHO is this major signing you’ve been bragging about the past few weeks?

The question draws Frankie right out of that euphoric moment.

Frankie: HA! You ignorant TWAT, why would I divulge their identity NOW. No….his name will be revealed at the appointed moment…and NOT a second earlier.

An I-Phone slides out of the interior of his jacket.

Frankie: Now I must be excused so I can make sure the Board of Directors is watching, so they can see the fruits of their investment pay of.

Frankie makes his exit, dialing a number on his phone that will put him in direct communication with the board he is so desperate to please.

Comeau: There you have it, Frankie’s much hyped signee expected to make their debut in tonight’s Rumble match….Hold up…speak of the devil.

A car slowly pulls into the interior of the Amway Center, stopping mere feet from Comeau.

Comeau: We might not even have to wait till the Rumble to find out WHO that signee is.

The car of much scrutiny is raced towards.

Comeau: Could this be the individual Frankie was eluding too?

Short answer….no…longer answer….Cassidy Haze.

The driver’s door pops open and out steps Haze…the maniacal protégé of Brittany Lohan. The sight of the pale and mascara drenched features of Haze brings Mark to an immediate stop, inhaling his testicles up into his larynx.

Haze: Hi Marky-Mark…have you missed me?

Comeau loosens the collar of his shirt.

Comeau: Erm…not particularly.

Haze: Awwww….but I thought we had such a SPECIAL relationship.

Comeau: Only in my nightmares.

Haze: Now Mark…

The collar of Mark’s shirt is removed from his grips and finds its way into Cassidy’s hands as she straightens it and brushes aside any lint.

Haze; You might want to be a bit nicer to me considering that I have a major scoop for you…One that will be like a symphony to the ears of the entire IWC roster.

Comeau: Oh?

Haze: Indeed..for I am here to inform you, Marky-Mark, that in spite of her coveted spot as the final entrant in the Rumble this evening, that after the debacle that was the horrid officiating in her N.H.B Title match at NewAge..my precious Bosslady….Brittany Lohan…for the unenlightened….. has lost so much faith in the IWC that she has decided NOT to compete here tonight.

Mark’s head snaps back like a sassy black lass on the verge of unleashing a ‘no you didn’t.’

Comeau: So Brittany Lohan isn’t going to be here tonight?

Haze: Nope….

Comeau: But….but….

Haze is dragging her luggage out of the trunk of the car, lowering it to the ground and beginning to roll it along behind her.

Haze: Sorry Marky-Mark, that’s all you get for now.

A pat is given to the top of Mark’s head before Haze takes off with bag in hand.

The footage from the parking lot is transferred directly to the monitor that Alana Starr feasts her eyes upon. She is watching with keen interest as Cassidy makes the revelation about Lohan. Her chest is heaving and her skin is losing its normal color, transforming to a brighter and brighter shade of red. The frustration finally takes control, her foot leaving the floor and connecting with the television that shatters across the floor.

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Taylor Chase: What drives you?

The World Heavyweight Title….the motivation of many…..and that’s what is presently reflected in the right eye of Taylor Chase. The camera finds itself zoomed in and fixated upon the face of the title bearer….a face as empty of expression as it is void of color. One eye continues to display the World Heavyweight Title, while the other depicts a number of the moments that brought her the belt. The TKO soars into the cheek of Aaron Harrison, and Rose Savior…culminating to her standing on the turnbuckle, arms repeatedly jutting out above her head as the crowd joins her in a chant of ‘I DID IT!’

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Brittany Lohan: Pain.

Somehow the Blue Eyed Devil manages to display intensity even while stoically gazing forth into the camera which has drawn entirely too close on her face. The blue eyes that she is synonymous with mirror a crowbar, while the other depicts her wanton chaos. Images ranging from Brittany bashing in the skull of Sebastian Knight with her handy weapon to driving it repeatedly into the body and brain of Legion.

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Yvonne Knight: Competition.

Another close up….this time of Yvonne’s features, with a black and white filter. The only color inhabits her eyes, one depicting a clinched fist, the other showcasing the Unity member delivering the Jinxed on Harrison and delivering the shining wizard on Lohan alongside her protégé and stable-mate.

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Katelyn Buehler: Redemption.

The whore turned hero is the camera’s fixation, staring forth apathetically. The only signs of life in her face are the vivid highlights encapsulated within her eyes. While one shows off a steel plated elbow-pad, the other reminisces in regards to her delivery of the KTFO….the roaring elbow….to the face of Kordelia Price amongst others, eventually leading to her standing mono-a-mono with Tay-Tay as she holds the one thing that will give Buehler fulfillment….the World Heavyweight Title.

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Andre Jordan: Opportunity.

It’s Andre Jordan’s face striped of pigment and his eyes emblazoned with images, one iris depicting a flapjack…..the other flashing with scenes of the recently signed combatant standing beside Alana Starr, and then Tabitha Silverstone, before concluding with an ominous stare-down between himself and Brittany Lohan.

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Alana Starr: Retribution.

Alana’s face….full of consternation….and her eyes showing a tire-iron….with the other reliving past transgressions committed against her by Lohan. The gruesome Final Solution upon the hood of a car is depicted before cutting to some of her own violent acts….delivered upon the very woman who cost her so many months of her career.

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Aaron Harrison: Carnage.

Another close up on another emotionless face….Harrison’s…..the infamous Blacklist recruit. There is a kendo-stick in one eye, and his other pupil reflects his use of the weapon against the skull of Orlando Cruze, bludgeoning the Icon until he is at last shuffle side kicked into an open grave.

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Ba’al: Justice.

The judge, jury and executioner….Ba’al…..Prince of Sin gazes lifelessly forth into the camera and within his orbs are scenes of a gavel and its use across the skull of Katelyn Buehler.

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Mika Kozlov: Family.

Never has such a term of endearment sounded so venomous as it is now when spoken with a hint of a Russian accent. There is clear venom in her eyes, as one reflects a Singapore cane, and the other depicts her acts of depravity since IWC’s rebirth. Acts filmed by her I-Phone….such as hanging Denile Partis and burning Kellen Jeffries.

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Gary Matt: Honor.

The normally pensive face of Gary Matt is barren of feeling or emotion, but his eyes are demonstrative of the Maniac’s weapon of choice, a steel chain, and the lengths he’s went to in order to perverse his integrity. There’s Gary delivering the Brian Damage on Rain and Matt holding up a bat on the verge of driving it into the skull of Aaron Harrison only to have Mika providing herself as a human shield for her Blacklist compatriot.

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Mr. Gaunt: Fear.

The cane that hides a sheathed blade consumes one eye, and the other follows Mr. Gaunt’s unleashing of phantasmagorical horrors……rather it be maggots or blood cascading from the rafters.

Taylor Chase: All your ambition….motivation….inspiration….all ends right here….

The World Heavyweight Title glistens in both of Taylor’s eyes.

Taylor Chase: If you can survive…..if you can be the LAST…..PERSON….STANDING.

The eyes close and the buzzer sounds.

The Amway Center unleashes a raucous response in conjunction with all the pomp and pizzazz, the pyros whipping the masses into a frenzy. Signs are held high and adrenaline is at its zenith in anticipation of tonight’s events. The opening highlighted by the playing of “Warrior’s Way” by Volbeat.

Johnny Dollar: We are GO!

Cameras zoom over the hodgepodge of chaotic imagery but intentionally remain away from the vicinity of the ring.

Susie Moore: We’re in Florida peeps….the land of sunshine and murders galore….

Dollar: Thanks for painting such a wonderful picture of Florida, Susie.

Susie: You’re welcome…

Dollar: History on the verge of being made tonight…..as the roster prepares to engage in full-scale open warfare to crown the inaugural Weapons-Are-Legal Rumble winner…..who will capture the glory of main eventing Invictus to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship?

Susie: And speaking of the World Title.

The reason cameras intentionally steered clear of the ring becomes obvious….shock factor….cause now they cut to the steel cage surrounding the squared circle….surprised? Yippee.

Thomas Boll: Lady and gentlefolk, main-event time of evening, Word Title on-line.

Even Thomas’ broken West-German accent cannot take the fans out of the moment.

Thomas Boll: Title to defend in cage of steel!

There couldn’t be anymore excitement and anticipation….thanks to the sugar rush elicited from the 64 ounce big gulps discounted for tonight’s event.

Thomas Boll: Introduce first, title challenger, he Blacklist member, he Lukas Montgomery.

That excitement just got screwed worse than Ving Rhames in a Pulp Fiction movie. ENEMIES plays over the PA system and leads to a crushing blow to any glee felt from the masses.

Dollar: I said tonight was going to be historic, and I meant it. For the first time ever, the World Heavyweight Title to be defended in our opening match of the evening as Taylor Chase goes one on one with Lukas Montgomery inside of the Steel Cage.

Susie: How could there possibly be a bigger match than this to start off a pay-per-view?

Dollar: Okay, people have already bought the pay-per-view, no need to keep selling it at this point.

No one needs to be sold on the magnitude of this moment, especially the Blacklist….who arrive in mass. Lukas Montgomery leads the way, flanked on both sides by Aaron Harrison and Mika Kozlov. The trinity has shown up to a rather unflattering welcoming. Hate is spewed in their direction, as Montgomery and company feasts upon the emotion just like they’ll feast upon the carrion.

TAYLOR CHASE (c) vs. LUKAS MONTGOMERY

Dollar: Montgomery on the verge of challenging for the World Title this evening…in a match that is big for a number of reasons.

Susie: We’ve seen the chaos and carnage these three have unleashed in the past….and heck…I’ve even felt it….so just imagine what Lukas is going to be capable of when inside of a cage.

Dollar: Especially now that the passions of the Blacklist are free to be unleashed on Taylor Chase. Mika Kozlov has seemingly given up on the notion of reconnecting the familial ties between herself and Taylor….meaning Lukas is free to do whatever it takes to beat Taylor for the title tonight.

Susie: Don’t know how accurate you are there, Sweet D., because we saw some footage earlier this week from the Chase and Kozlov camps that might imply that Mika STILL wants Taylor to be her sister. Anyway, this gonna be GUHD!

The cage is already being tested, Lukas shaking the mesh walls to ensure there is little give. He then leans forward and rubs his forehead against the steel, getting very use to the feeling.

Boll: Introduce next….she is World Champion…she is Scarlet Socialite….she is Taylor Chase!

BOSS’S DAUGHTER….streams through the speakers.

Dollar: And here she comes….World Champion….Taylor Chase….a woman who has overcome so many incredible obstacles in order to keep the gold in her possession.

Susie: Yeah….but Chase versus Lukas inside of a cage? That might be one obstacle she cannot rise above. Especially when you’ve got Mika Kozlov and Aaron Harrison at ringside.

Obviously Taylor thought about that….she actually thinks of everything….hence why she’s brought along her own entourage. As the Champion takes her spot on the stage, shoulder bogged down by the weight of the World Heavyweight Title….she finds her backside well protected by Kathryn Pearson and Yvonne Knight.

Dollar: Which is why Taylor Chase does not come alone…..the World Heavyweight Champion joined by Yvonne Knight and Kathryn Pearson…Unity in full force this evening to counter-balance the numbers of the Blacklist.

Mika sneers and Aaron reassuringly rubs her shoulders, confirming that their plans will not be altered even with the presence of Chase’s teammates. Kathryn and Ivy weren’t about to even consider letting Tay come to the ring on her own tonight, steadfastly resolved to accompany her to the cage. The door is opened and Lukas Montgomery stands back, gesturing for her to enter.

Montgomery: Come on Tay….there’s no escaping it now….you will embrace the true Taylor….otherwise you will NOT be leaving with that title.

The words do no dissuade nor disrupt Taylor from either entering the cage or abandoning strategy, she stomps up each step and through the door. She then reaches back, grabs said door and swings it shut behind her.

Taylor: You’re right, Lukas….I’m not leaving just with the title….I’m leaving with so much more….your blood on MY hands….and absolution from the Blacklist.

The World Title that was brought to the ring was handed off just before she entered the cage and is now raised aloft by the official OUTSIDE of the steel barrier. Fitzpatrick holds up the Championship to a spike of adrenaline from the fans. The referee within the mesh, Alex Ingelson, turns and signals for the bell to officially begin the first of hopefully few cage matches in IWC’s illustrious history.

Susie: Lukas and Taylor in the cage and the bell has rung….I’m so incredibly excited that I wish I had a penis just so I could get aroused.

Dollar: This match long in the making….Taylor has been plagued by the Blacklist for months….

Susie: Try years, Johnny D.

Dollar: Good point. Taylor and Mika have an incredibly long history together….and that’s part of the reason the Blacklist have been targeting her since their IWC debut.

Susie: Yes….I think Mika is incredibly jealous of all the favoritism and accolades lauded upon Taylor over the years….being head cheerleader in high-school….and World Champion here in the IWC….she feels like those accomplishments, that adulation, should have been shown to her.

Dollar: All stemming from never really being an accepted member of the Chase family…..what with being adopted and all. Hence why she’s used that whole ‘family’ shtick against Tay-Tay these past few months, and why tonight, and when Chase AGAIN denied her….it brought us to this….the steel cage bout between Lukas and the World Champion.

The time for talk has come to a conclusion and now Taylor stares down Lukas, who is chomping at the bit to see Chase’s ruination. The giant smirk plastered on his face only widens when Lukas drops to the canvas in front of Taylor, crossing his arms behind his head and turning them into a makeshift pillow.

Montgomery: Here you go, Taylor….go ahead, this is how you win all your big matches isn’t it?

Chase pauses and gnaws at her lower lip.

Montgomery: This is how the TRUE Taylor Chase gets the job done, right? No lows you won’t stoop to?

Taylor backs away from Lukas instead of stepping forward to take the easy pin.

Montgomery: Come on Tay….do it….stop trying to be little Mrs. Popularity and be yourself…..the woman of no moral fiber….a woman without honor….take your championship the way you won it in the first place.

The smile is fading from Lukas’ face the longer Chase debates her options.

Montgomery: This is your last chance, Tay….your last opportunity to make amends with Mika by embracing the truth….the REAL Chase we all know is just yearning to get out. This is a one-time opportunity, either you accept it or this cage match happens….and believe me….that’s the last thing you want.

Chase continues to dilly-doddle before finally being swayed to a clear and defined course of action.

Taylor: You’re right, Lukas.

Montgomery’s smile returns…..a grin mirrored by his stable-mates.

Taylor: It’s time for me to embrace the REAL Taylor Chase….

Lukas drops back and prepares to be pinned by the encroaching Taylor.

Susie: Is she actually going to accept the win like this.

Taylor: Maybe this is the true Taylor Chase.

Susie: The Blackliast and Brittany Lohan were right about her all along. There is a monster inside that yearns to be unleashed.

Neither Yvonne or Kathryn can bring themselves to watch, truly disheartened to witness Taylor’s darker desires indulged….having no qualms about accepting an easy win in spite of the ruination to her credibility and her character. She stoops down to go for the…..LEG? Yep….she grabs Lukas’ ankle and lifts it, rolling him over backwards right onto his feet then grabbing him by the back of the head.

It’s no longer his hands that test the durability of the cage wall, but his face, Chase charging across the ring and throwing him head first into the mesh wiring.

Dollar: THERE’S the true Taylor Chase we’ve come to respect.

Susie: Lukas and the Blacklist thought wrong.

Dollar: Chase doesn’t want an easy win…she wants to end this with the Blacklist right here, right now, definitively. She’s not out to repair any relationship….she’s out to severe the ties with the Trinity once and for all.

Chase’s response leaves a lasting impression on the Blacklist and an indelible blemish on Montgomery’s face. The steel isn’t the only thing that reverberates, so too does Lukas’ brain about the confines of his skull. He stumbles back, swaying arms in a desperate attempt to stay upright, but ultimately he does go down, his knees grabbed and his legs pulled right out from under him. He collapses to his back and soon finds himself catapulted back to his feet, launching forehead first into the wall of steel wiring.

Dollar: Into the CAGE AGAIN!

Susie: I hope Lukas isn’t like Nicolas Cage in Kiss of Death, hating the taste of steel in his mouth.

Dollar: Oh….you mean back when Cage was an actual actor….as opposed to a compilation of crazy faces and even crazier hair styles?

Susie: EXXXACTLY

Lukas bounces off the steel and staggers right back into the waiting arms of Chase, who goes airborne catches him around the shoulders and drives both of her knees into his upper back. The back cracker connects and sends Lukas ricocheting off unto his feet. Just as he turns around grabbing at his injured spinal column. In the process he entirely exposes his skull to yet another blow though, this one in the form of not an impact with the cage but the canvas. Chase leaps to her feet and then into the air, catching Lukas around the neck then dropping back into the leaping downward spiral. She falls to the canvas spine first but doesn’t drag Lukas along for the ride, he reaches back and grabs the top rope, preventing his destruction. 0\

He then reaches down, grabs Taylor’s knees and drops back into a catapult, launching Tay-Tay right into the cage….NO….instead she lands on the top rope and grabs the wall just before she could collide with it.

A flabbergasted Montgomery spins around and then rushes right at Chase, who leaps from the top rope and delivers a double stomp to the back of Lukas skull as he goes rushing under her. As a result, Lukas is doubled over and his momentum sends him sailing through the ropes with the top of his head colliding with the cage wall.

He bounces off then staggers back right into Chase who dashes forward and leaps high into the TKO. This match IS going to end quickly, but not in the way the Blacklist had envisioned…or maybe it will, because Lukas sidesteps the knee at the last second and pushes Chase along, using her own momentum to send her sailing over the ropes. Her knee does connect, but it’s with the mesh wiring. It bounces right off the steel and her body then goes plummeting directly to the canvas.

Dollar: OOOOHH….Chase into the cage….and that wall had little give.

Susie: That might have broken her leg.

Dollar: May have? That’s a definite probability considering the multiple injuries that knee has sustained in the past.

A unusual sound emanates from Chase, a loud screech as she rolls around on the canvas both hands wrapped about her knee and face twisting with anguish. She tries to get up but can’t put any pressure on her bum wheel. Finally she does find her way to the ropes, utilizing them to get her legs beneath her only to have her knee clipped from behind by a Lukas shoulder block.

Another piercing roar from Taylor and another audible gasp from the crowd. Yvonne and Kathryn emote great concern from the outside of the ring, watching as Taylor stubbornly tries to get back to her feet. She stands up just as Lukas rushes in behind her and delivers a swift kick to the crease of the knee, sending Taylor flipping completely over backwards before landing on her face and stomach.

Dollar: And now like a shark, Lukas honing in on the blood.

Susie: Is it that time of the month already?

Dollar: Not THAT type of blood….Okay….consider Taylor the injured gazelle and Lukas the tiger waiting in the bush.

Susie: Bush?

Dollar: Not that type of bush…Okay….consider Taylor….

It doesn’t matter what species of predator Lukas represents, he is an animal silently stalking his prey…..standing and watching as Chase desperately drags herself up with the aid of the ropes. She gets one knee beneath her and grimaces upon placing pressure on it. Lukas then swings in behind her and for another clip to the knee. It brings Chase down to the canvas and into the turnbuckle, she falls against the corner and slowly starts towards her feet, albeit with her knee continuously buckling beneath her. Lukas then steps in, grabs the leg and lifts it into the air, placing it over the middle rope.

Montgomery backs to the center of the ring and then gets a big running start before delivering a running boot to the trapped knee. Taylor cannot stifle her scream, tumbling to her side with her leg still hooked around the middle rope.

Across the ring dashes Montgomery, moving to the middle of the ring so he can get a running start behind a front dropkick. Both boots nail Taylor’s knee, resulting in even more groans from the masses.

Dollar: And the knee remains Lukas’ focus. And I can’t fault that strategy.

Susie: That knee did take such a nasty impact with the cage.

It takes Lukas to unhinge Taylor’s leg from the ropes, using it in order to drag her to the center of the ring. She then drops an elbow right to the side of the knee brace. He gets back to his feet and drops a knee right across the leg as well.

Lukas raises the leg aloft and then uses it to pull Chase over to her stomach. With a guttural roar Lukas heaves the leg into the air by the ankle, on the verge of driving her down knee first into the canvas. However, Chase uses the momentum of this lift in order to flip forward, slipping her leg free and then landing on her feet……or more accurately her ‘foot.’

A surprised Lukas scrambles to regain control, rushing in behind Taylor, grabbing her leg and folding it up. He uses the folded leg to heave Taylor up into the into the air in order to drop her leg across his raised knee only to have Chase transition in mid-air. She turns just as she reaches Lukas’ shoulder and slips over it as well as down Montgomery’s back, catching him around the waist in the process.

She pulls Lukas down into a sunset flip.

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Montgomery rolls over backwards out of the pin and then grabs the legs of his adversary. He lifts the legs into the air and tucks them under his pits, trying to roll her to her stomach in order to apply the liontamer. Again Chase is fighting….fighting to prevent this submission from being established and further punishment done to her leg….punishment enough to cost her the World Heavyweight Title.

She bends her knees, in spite of the agony that flows through her leg, bringing Montgomery in towards her. He gets within arms-length, Taylor taking full advantage of this by catching Lukas by the back of the head and dragging him down into the small package.

Dollar: Tay-Tay’s got him!

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Susie: No she doesn’t.

The roll-up, no matter how unexpected does not thwart Lukas’ ambitions this evening. He rolls right along to his feet while Taylor limps to her own. But she stands up only to be taken back down as Lukas swoops in and grabs the creases of her knees, bound and determined to destroy her leg. However, Chase then reaches down, grabs both of Lukas’ arms and then spins him around. She drops to her knees and manages to back slide Lukas down to the canvas into another pinning predicament.

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Dollar: Another stunning pin attempt…

And another kick out from Lukas keeping this match going. Mika and Aaron sigh with relief, realizing that the opportunity to destroy Chase is still on the table. Taylor however, doesn’t make this task easy, staggering to her feet just as Lukas swoops in and tries to decapitate her with a lariat. Chase ducks it and then gets a running start into the ropes, finally putting some pressure on her banged up leg. She bounces off and comes back in at Lukas, who turns and bends forward, going for a back drop.

Just before Chase can be the fly that falls into the spiders web, she stops just short of Lukas and delivers a swift kick to his chest. Montgomery stands up straight looking dazed while Taylor delivers a step up enzugari to the back of his skull.

Dollar: Taylor rebuilding momentum….She still believes.

Susie: DON’T STOP…..BELLLLIIEEEVING!

Her opponent might be dazed but Taylor is mystified to see that he’s stil standing. So Taylor does something to change that. She limps….albeit rather quickly into the ropes, ricocheting off the far ropes and coming back in at Lukas. It seems she will finally put Montgomery’s ass to canvas, only to have Lukas duck down and dive forward, shoulder clipping Chase’s inbound knee. Taylor flips up and over top of Lukas, ultimately collapsing across the canvas and reaching for her knee which is in dire straits.

Dollar: Into the knee again!

Susie: Blacklist bent on snapping that leg….injuring the knee….

Dollar: If Tay-Tay isn’t going to show her true colors, then they’re going to annihilate her within the cage.

The pugnacious Lukas rushes towards the elevated leg of Chase, grabbing hold of it and trying to apply a submission. But Chase lifts her other leg into the air and wedges it to Lukas’ shoulder, kicking him off and sending him spiraling across the ring. Montgomery steps to the middle and Taylor rolls back to her feet, ending up with her spine to the ropes.

Lukas then comes barreling in like the ferocious predator he was described as earlier, leaping towards Chase only to have her duck down out of the way. She low bridges the ropes with the intent of causing Lukas to fly over and slam into the mesh wiring. However, Lukas catches the cage with his palms, blocking his head from hitting the wall.

Apparently Chase even saw this possibility playing out, getting into position quickly and leaping into the air, wedging her knees to Lukas’ spine for another back stabber. When it seems that the Blacklist rep is about to be in serious need of a chiropractor appointment, Montgomery spins around and catches the legs just before they can wedge to his spine. He then folds up Chase’s knee, turns and throws her over the ropes, with her compressed leg slamming against the mesh wiring. Taylor bellows in pain as she bounces off the steel and then collapses into the thin space between the wall and the ropes.

Dollar: A devastating counter by Lukas! Knee into the cage once again.

Susie: I don’t think Chase is going to bounce back from this one.

Chase falls to her back across the apron, elevating her leg and rubbing the knee that has been so systematically targeted…and continues to be targeted. Lukas reaches through the ropes and grabs her leg, elevating it into the air and the wedging it against the mesh wall. He backs up and then gets a running start before diving feet first through the cables into a basement dropkick on the knee, sandwiching it between his boots and the wall.

Susie: Lukas is on that leg like dry macaroni noodles on the birthday card I just made for you, Johnny.

Dollar: As if I wasn’t dreading my next birthday enough.

Lukas drags the injured leg of Chase away from the wall and to the center of the ring. The leg remains Montgomery’s focus, spinning around it while keeping it elevated and outstretched and then dropping rear-end first right across the side of her knee.

Chase is forced to cover her face with her palms, falling to her back and finding the pain to be almost impossible to block from her mind. Hands slap the cage wall, Yvonne and Kathryn trying to motivate the World Champion. They are also rallying the crowd in support of Taylor, who at this point finds herself subjected to the figure four leg lock.

Lukas drops to his seat and continues to exert enough pressure to snap the leg. That crackle and pop would be like a musical to his ears. Those are two sounds Lukas could potentially hear, but what he definitely won’t be hearing is the sound of Chase chiming the words ‘I Quit.’ She would rather pass out than tap out, falling to her back and clinching her fists as the official gets into position, checking as to rather or not her shoulders are down.

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Chase sits back up and steadfastly refuses to be pinned either, sitting up just before she could fall prey to the unorthodox cover. She swings her fists at Lukas’ face, but her knuckles fall short of his smile.

Dollar: Taylor…I hate to say it….but you might want to tap out in order to fight another day.

Susie: She’s too stubborn for that.

Dollar: Just like most ladies.

The resolve and resiliency of the World Champion is definitely being tested here tonight and it looks like Chase is about to fail that examination. She is falling into unconsciousness, Lukas putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on her intertwined legs.

Mika: Give in Malishka…..give in!

She slaps the cage wall with both palms and then shakes it….adding intensity to her words. Taylor may be able to discern Mika’s comments from the thousands being directed at the cage by the fans, but instead of tearing her down it seems to motivate her. She actually feeds off of Mika’s negativity, wedging her palms to the canvas and trying to drag Montgomery along into the ropes.

Lukas isn’t going anywhere…thanks in large part to his unscrupulous behavior, reaching back while the referee’s attention is elsewhere and grabbing the ropes himself. This gives him added leverage AND it cuts off any avenue of escape for the World Champion. She falls to her back once again as the official makes ANOTHER three count.

Susie: Sit-up Tay-Tay, sit-up!

The fans echo Susie’s pleas.

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Chase was moments from succumbing to unconsciousness, but she launches herself up to her seat, face twisting with intensity. Kathryn has moved up the steps and is now stomping on the stairs….rallying the fans in support behind Chase….who is hanging tough….She balls up her fists, and shakes them out to her sides, building even more support.

Adrenaline is once again spiking, in both the stands and in the cage as Taylor begins to twist her body from side to side, trying to pull Lukas over onto his stomach.

Dollar: Chase is TRYING to roll over and reverse the pressure.

Susie: But that knee has been so twisted by the cage. How is she possibly going to overcome everything her leg has already been put through?

Dollar: It’s like we talked about before the match began, Chase has made a career of defying odds…just look at what she did at Upping the Ante.

Chase is surging with passion….with energy….with determination….hell-bent on reversing the pressure and making Montgomery feel what she’s endured throughout this match. And it seems Montgomery is on the verge of reflecting Chase’s trauma, just about to be turned over to his stomach.

That’s when Lukas reaches out and grabs the bottom rope with both hands, preventing being turned over…..He then uses the cables to push himself to his back, putting Chase right back where she started…..suffering the ill-effects of the figure four leg-lock with hope rapidly evaporating.

Dollar: Lukas’ hands all over the ropes!

Susie: He’s taking full advantage of this no disqualification rule.

The referee is powerless to do anything about Lukas using the ropes to his advantage. The maniacal Montgomery keeps hold of the bottom cable, giving Chase absolutely NO chance of breaking this figure four. But this doesn’t stop Tay-Tay from trying. She begins to rock her body from side to side, intent on availing herself of this plight and refusing to relinquish the World Title to the Blacklist.

Montgomery breaks his grip on the bottom rope in order to exert even more pressure on the hold….and the moment he does this, Chase takes immediate advantage.

She finds her second wind, pushing herself backwards across the ring and dragging Lukas along with her. She then drops to her side and rolls Lukas over to his stomach, reversing the pressure on the Blacklist member. Montgomery pushes himself up onto his knuckles and unleashes a loud growl in response to the pain coursing through his lower extremities.

Dollar: Taylor has reversed it…she’s reversed the figure four onto Lukas!

Susie: Can’t believe she had the leg strength to do that.

Dollar: Taylor is a freak in terms of conditioning and strength training…..Yvonne really taking her under her wing in those regards….So it’s no surprise to me there.

The pain rushing through Lukas’ limbs is excruciating and prompts him to do the unthinkable, lifting a palm into the air on the cusp of submitting. Chase bobs her head, trying to use anything she can….any area of her body to help intensify the pressure on this hold.

Just when it seems the submission is about to do the trick, Lukas clinches his hand instead of swinging it into the canvas. His knuckles wedge to the ring and he begins to crawl across the ring, dragging Chase behind him palm over palm. At last Lukas reaches out and grabs the bottom rope only to be informed by the official that there are no rope breaks in a match void of rules.

Dollar: Sorry Lukas, it looks like the ropes aren’t going to save you.

A groaning Lukas uses the cables to begin pulling himself upward, elevating Taylor’s legs into the air as she keeps them wrapped around Montgomery’s.

The fans watch with dropped jaws as Lukas gets all the way to his feet and reverses the inverted figure four into a sharpshooter.

Susie: You were saying?

Dollar: Da fudge? I’ve never seen that done before!

Susie: First the figure four was reversed by Tay-Tay and then Montgomery manages to reverse that reversal into a sharpshooter thanks to the aid of the ropes. KARAZAY!

Taylor DIDN’T see this one coming, wedging palms to the canvas and shoving herself up with her jaw all the way to her stomach, unleashing a howl of pain.

Dollar: And now Lukas might just have it….there’s really no avenue of escape for Taylor Chase.

Susie: There’s gotta be something she can do. Quick….someone drop an avil on Lukas’ head.

Dollar: This isn’t Looney Tunes, Susie, this is drama at its peak.

Chase cannot help but to indulge that thought in the back of her head, one that implores her to tap out as a means of saving herself. That’s why her shaking hand extends out over the canvas.

Dollar: Don’t give up Taylor, don’t give the Blacklist the World Title on top of the Evolution Championship.

Chase’s vibrating fingers are dangerously close to coming down to the canvas to symbolically submit to the sharpshooter. But the screams of her new family, Unity, and the pleas of the fans inspire her to fight through this plight. She slaps the canvas, but only to push herself up into a crawling base, instinctively dragging herself and Lukas across the ring towards the ropes which seem to be so incredibly far away.

Dollar: Taylor has the right idea….just at the wrong time. She’s going for the ropes, but even if she reaches them Lukas doesn’t have to relinquish the hold.

Susie: I don’t think she realizes that in her current state of mind.

Taylor pulls herself across the ring and drags Lukas along behind her, the crowd intently watching. It takes what seems to be an eternity with the crowd’s emotions being toyed with before Chase’s hand latches onto the bottom rope.

Dollar: She got to the ropes…she got to them…

Susie: But it’s like you just said, the ref can’t make Lukas break the hold.

Dollar: Dammit….you’re right…how quick you are to forget when so swept up in the moment.

Though Johnny clearly has short-term memory issues, Taylor doesn’t….she knew getting to the ropes wouldn’t lead to the ref breaking the hold….but it allows her to. She begins to ascend the cables, causing Lukas to bend over further and further as he desperately tries to maintain the grip on the sharpshooter. Now Chase has surpassed the ropes and grabbed the cage wall, starting to use it to get higher and higher.

Finally Lukas is forced to break the sharpshooter, but keeps hold of Tay-Tay’s ankles. He spins around holding onto the legs of his opponent, looking up at Chase continuing to climb the cage even with her legs gripped by the challenger.

Dollar: Look at this…Taylor sneaking through the back door and she might be on the verge of escaping the cage.

It is a dream that Lukas tries to turn into a nightmare. But Chase manages to keep the dream alive, she manages to pull one foot out of Lukas hands and begins to kick at his sternum with it repeatedly while she is still elevated above the ring clasping onto the cage wall.

Lukas’ grasp on the one leg is about to be broken…..just then he pulls the leg under his armpit and drags her down off the cage and to the canvas with a dragon screw leg whip.

Dollar: OH WOW!

Susie: That was insane.

Dollar: I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I’ve never seen a dragon screw leg whip hit from that position before.

Susie: And on that injured limb to boot.

The crowd watches with baited breaths as Lukas kneels on the canvas, breathing heavy and trying to regain his focus. Harrison whispers some encouraging words to Lukas, who stands up and pounces on the grimacing Taylor, who has pulled her leg up to her chest, cradling it in her hands. Lukas lifts her legs and swings around into the figure four leg…..noooo…..Chase lifts her free leg, wedges it to Montgomery’s posterior and shoves him off. Lukas flies forward, through the ropes and skull first into the cage wall.

Susie: Lukie into the cage AGAIN!

Dollar: Taylor SOMEHOW fighting off the figure four even after that gruesome dragon screw leg whip off the cage wall.

Susie: So the cage comes back to haunt her at the same time that it comes back to help her. What an untrustworthy little bastard.

Dollar: Don’t even….we’ve personified way too many inanimate objects in the IWC already…..Yourself amongst them.

Lukas staggers back away from the cage wall, eyes rolling to the back of his head, then his shoulders being rolled to the canvas. Taylor catches him around the thigh and goes for the school girl. The second his back hits the canvas though, Lukas rolls completely over and out of the pin. He then stands up in front of Taylor and then rushes forward, twisting into the Quieter directed right into Chase’s face.

She ducks under the inbound arm though, causing it to sail right into the wall of the cage. The arm bounces off and Lukas roars in pain, the mesh allowing very little give and perhaps fracturing Montgomery’s arm on impact.

He turns and doubles over the arm that is cradled to his stomach, his face twisting with pain. Chase then limps in, grabs Lukas’ wrist and drags it forward to her chest, going for a divorce court arm breaker. She drops back only to have Lukas reach in reverse and grab the cage wall, using it as a preventative tool to keep his shoulder and elbow from being dislocated.

Chase drops hard to her back…..once again having nothing to show for her troubles. Lukas then reaches down to grab her legs and pick up where he left off only to have Taylor catch him by the wrist, twist her body and drag Lukas to the canvas as she counters into a fujiwara arm-bar. The building erupts in waves of elation as Chase has Montgomery trapped in the stylized arm-bar that has her opponent roaring in agony.

Dollar: And now Chase has got the arm-bar….she’s got it…she’s got it…..she’s GOT IT locked in tight!

Susie: The shoe is on the other glove….or wait….can you wear a shoe on your hand….or a glove on your foot?

Dollar: Here Susie….play with this abacus that I carry along with me for no other reason but to have an excuse to say the word abacus.

Never did Lukas think he’d find himself in this position, with roles definitely reversed. He lifts his hand into the air, so close….on the brink….on the verge…..seconds from submitting to the pain coursing through his possibly fractured arm. But much like Taylor, Montgomery refuses to give her the honor of holding a submission win over him.

Mika shouts some encouraging words….well…encouraging to her at least.

Mika: You had better not tap out….!

These words DO inspire Lukas, who demonstrates his strength by pushing himself upwards….ascending to his feet with Chase still leaning back into the fujiwara. Taylor can’t believe it when she feels her grip breaking on the arm that draws back and wraps around her waist. Lukas heaves her up into the air and goes for the side slam only to have Chase flip up and over the shoulder of her challenger. She lands on her feet behind Lukas then steps forward and grabs the arm, trying to drag him down into the fujiwara for a second time.

Susie: Lukie counters…but Tay-Tay going back to the Mr. Fuji.

Dollar: I’ll let that one slide on the basis that your commentary has been somewhat intelligible these past few weeks.

The crowd is on its feet watching this struggle persist…and it’s a struggle that Lukas seems to surprisingly get the better of. He swings right around out of the fujiwara attempt and sends Chase into a spin as well. Taylor turns completely around to face Lukas, who then spins around into the Quieter….but his arm is caught and Chase snaps back into the divorce court arm breaker to an enormous response.

Dollar: ARM-BREAKER!

Susie: Finally she hit it.

Dollar; And look at this transition.

Chase transitions out of the arm-breaker straight into the fuji….scratch that….straight into the EPICrossface….using Lukas’ own submission predicament against him.

Dollar: Crossface! Crossface locked in! That’s one of Lukas’ most potent submission holds and now it’s being used against him!

Susie: It might cost him the title.

Mika is beside her and Aaron rubs his eyes as if suffering a migraine. Kathryn and Yvonne look as excited as the fans sound as Lukas finds himself trapped in a hold that threatens to snap his arm and his neck.

Dollar: Is Lukas gonna tap….is he going to submit for the first time in his career?

Susie: This could be ground breaking stuff.

A ‘tap’ chant can be heard from the masses, who are watching with saucer sized eyes as Lukas lifts a palm to quit. He then brings that palm up to the hands interlocked in front of his jaw. Chase’s face twists into a picture of shock as Montgomery actually pries the hands away from his jaw and then uses his trapped arm to hook Taylor’s injured leg. He pushes himself back and towards Chase, forcing her onto her shoulders with Lukas stretched across her stomach, hooking the leg for the pin.

But it’s not a pin he’s going for. He keeps the leg hooked while rolling towards Taylor’s chest and right over top of her. As a result Lukas ends up on his knees with Taylor lifted up and onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position. The fans are absolutely stunned, having never seen the crossface countered like this before. He then stands up with Chase still stretched across his shoulders, on the verge of delivering God only knows what. He then takes off across the ring, rushing backwards and then throwing Chase off of his shoulders and into the cage wall. She bounces off the steel and then ricochets off and lands back on top of Montgomery’s shoulders.

Lukas then throws her off of his shoulders, over his head and catches her across his chest. To the absolute shock of the fans Montgomery drops back and delivers a fallaway slam that throws Chase over the ropes spine first into the cage wall.

Dollar: DEVASTATING combination of moves there employing the cage wall!

Susie: All after the most amazing counter to a crossface.

Dollar; Chase is in a bad state….a bad-bad state right now.

Susie: Come on….Florida isn’t that bad.

Dollar: That’s….never-mind.

Chase collapses to the apron between the cage and the ropes, her body going totally limp. Both Unity members watch with heads shaking and skin turning white. They are in sheer disbelief over what they just saw happen to Taylor, who still hasn’t shown any signs of life after the two slams against the cage.

The lack of movement from Taylor inspires Lukas to both smile and to make his way towards the turnbuckle. He begins to scale it, eyes diverting from the ropes before him to the top of the cage high above. He draws himself closer and closer to the edge of the cage roof, mere moments from stepping over it and becoming the World Champion.

Dollar: Lukas climbing the cage wall….he’s about to step over….and there is absolutely nothing that Taylor can do about it….She’s BADLY banged up….she’s pretty much comatose after those multiple impacts with the cage.

Susie: We might see a new champion, Johnny….a new champion! Though the belt might need to have another notch or two added to it since it’s been shrunken down to fit Taylor’s waist.

The fans watch with a collective wail as Lukas reaches the top rope and begins to step off of it in order to find his footing in the cage wall. Just then Taylor crawls out from under the far ropes, and somehow finds her own footing. Even while on an injured leg she is able to jaunt over the turnbuckle beneath Lukas and reach up, grabbing his leg. Lukas is having some difficulty holding onto the cage wall given the injury sustained to his elbow, making it easier for Chase to cut him off at the pass.

She climbs up the turnbuckle beneath Lukas, throwing forearms into his upper back several times. Chase gets to the top rope right beside Lukas, who delivers a blow of his own. The aggravated Montgomery drills Chase under the jaw with an elbow, and then spins around with a fist directed straight to her face. But Chase catches the inbound arm and to the shock of everyone, delivers an arm drag off the top rope.

Susie: OOOOOH GOLLLY!

Lukas flips off the top rope and comes crashing down from a great height across his back, reaching for his spine while Taylor falls to her elbows.

Dollar: Unreal! Arm-drag off the top rope by Tay-Tay.

Susie: Payback for that dragon screw earlier on….hehehehe….dragon screw.

Dollar: Don’t even.

The fans watch with hands on top of their heads and eye bugging from their sockets after that last move which has put Lukas down….but not out. He gets to his feet clutching at the arm that has been destroyed by Chase’s offense. Nevertheless he tries to shake out the kinks and then rushes right at the recovering Taylor, bending down to grab at her leg. But Tay side steps him and delivers a swift punt kick right to her opponent’s face.

Montgomery stands up, swinging his one good arm to remain upright. Taylor then reaches out and grabs his injured limb, trying to drag him down into the fujiwara once again. Lukas wedges his free hand to Tay-Tay’s spine though, and pushes her off. But the Champion uses the momentum of the push to send her into a spin, turning to face Lukas’ back then leaping into the air, wedging her knees to Montgomery’s spine before dropping down into the double knees back-breaker. The back stabber connects and causes Lukas to stand up straight, bellowing in agony. He then turns around just as Taylor kips up to her feet and leaves them in order to launch into the air, catch Montgomery around the neck and pull him down, spiking his face against the canvas.

Dollar: Taylor AT LAST hits that combination she’s gone for several times in this match, and it might just open the door for her to retain the World Title….

Susie: Literally….Because look….she’s going to try and make it out of the door.

A loud Chase chant is bellowing through the Amway Center as Chase’s eyes cut to the cage door, which referee Ingelson has propped open to aid in her escape. She crawls on elbows and knees towards the door, drawing closer and closer to the outside of the ring where she will retain her title. But just when she gets within inches of the door, Harrison steps around and takes hold of it, batting the official aside.

Its no longer the exterior of the ring that Chase is looking at it….its the soulless eyes of Harrison.

Dollar: Oh come on, Harrison keeping Taylor from being able to escape the cage.

It took little prompting to get the Unity to respond….taking offense to this injustice. They rush around the cage and find themselves staring down the Blacklist. Harrison’s eyes turn from Taylor in the ring to the two ladies who now pose a serious risk to his physical well-being.

Dollar: Blacklist and Unity about to come to blows OUTSIDE of the cage while they fight inside of it as well.

Susie: The fuse on this powder keg has just been lit. Which means, you know, something is gonna blow up and make Michael Bay pop a boner.

Mika decides that NOW is not the time, putting a palm to Harrison’s chest, pushing him away. Surprisingly Mika is the cooler head of the two, keeping Harrison balanced and violence from erupting at ringside. And that’s not all she’s done, as the Blacklist managed to delay Taylor’s escape, freeze her in mid-step and take her mind off the recovering Montgomery.

The challenger is on his feet….well…his foot…because one is launching in the direction of Taylor’s head. A screech from Kathyrn alerts Taylor to the pending calamity, turning and ducking the inbound boot at the last second. It goes traveling right over her skull and Chase goes rushing right into the ropes, ricocheting off then barreling towards Lukas who turns just as Chase leaps into a crossbody. A crossbody that does NOT put Lukas to the canvas….instead he catches Taylor across his chest to the despair of the masses, centers himself and then drops back into another fall-away slam, launching Chase towards the cage wall.

Tay-Tay corkscrews through the air, and instead of hitting the cage back first, she actually collides with it via her chest and stomach…but wait…hold that phone….don’t accept the charges….Chase didn’t just hit the cage, she CAUGHT hold of it. Like a spider she latches onto the wall and then turns her body, instantly scaling the cage now that Lukas has unintentionally given her quite the leg up.

Dollar: Another dreaded Fall-Away Slam into the….WAIT….

Susie: She CAUGHT hold of the cage….just like….something….that….catches things.

Dollar: BRILLIANT analogy Susie.

Susie: Thanks….really struggled with that one.

The fans are going ga-ga….just not Lady Ga-Ga….caue that would be weird. Unbeknownst to Lukas, he may have just sealed his own fate by launching Chase half way up the cage wall, one she is currently in the process of throwing a leg over. She has reached the top and is about a fourth of the way over the edge when Lukas leaps to the top rope, and manages to grab one of Chase’s ankles.

Susie: But Lukas has got her….he has hold of that ankle.

Dollar: Montgomery cutting her off at the last second, refusing to let her get out of the cage and retain the title.

Lukas just doesn’t hold onto the ankle for dear-life but uses his immense strength to pull Chase down the wall. However, she keeps an arm over the edge, gripping the other side, and kicking with her legs at Lukas’ arms. He manages to overcome the pain emanating from his banged up limb to keep a grasp on one of his adversary’s ankles. The crowd is quite alarmed at the sight of Lukas going for the dragon screw leg whip this time taking Chase almost off the TOP of the cage while he’s standing on the uppermost cable.

Dollar: Oh lord……could we be on the verge of seeing Taylor’s career ended?

Susie: Might make the Blacklist excited…..if their capable of getting excited by anything that isn’t Cannibal Holocust.

Lukas swings his arm into the crease of Taylor’s knee, bringing her down, but not to the canvas, it’s unto his shoulders she lands before twisting her body and yanking Montgomery off the top rope with a hurricarana. Lukas goes down and the fans leap up from their seats, exploding into a wave of pure elation at the sight of Chase delivering a move that defies reality.

Dollar: Chase counters….she counters…she counters into the HURRICARANA!

Susie: HOLY NICK NOLTE!

The wals of the cage actually shake in response to the crowd’s reaction. Absolutely everyone….even their grandmother with a broken hip…is responding favorably to Chase’s counter, that has put Lukas down….and done…Taylor realizes this, agonizingly crawling into the cover, hooking his leg and getting an even louder reaction with each slap of the canvas.

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But noooooo! Chase HASN’T done it….HASN’T done enough….

Dollar: And Lukas kicks out….what’ll it take to put him away?

Susie: Stakes through hearts usually do the trick in cases like these.

Lukas may have kicked out, but he has nothing left to put up a fight, nor to stop Chase from once again crawling towards the cage-door….deciding that if she can’t get the pin….that she’ll instead escape. The referee swoops in to open the cage-door for her once more, this time with Yvonne and Kathryn assuming the roles of sentinels, warding off anyone who would try to interfere.

Dollar: Taylor is going to escape the cage by going through the door.

Susie: Pin didn’t do it….this should.

Chase begins to rise to her feet, realizing walking makes things a bit easier than trying to crawl through the door. She is on the verge of escaping the cage when from the corner of her eye she spots Mika Kozlov climbing the wall….trying to get inside that way and affect the outcome of this match. Both Yvonne and Kathryn notice this at the same as Taylor, scrambling around the cage in order to thwart Kozlov’s dastardly ambitions. She drops to the mats the moment she finds herself surrounded by both ladies, who are slowly closing in around the Blacklist femme.

Taylor watches this all pan out while stepping towards the cage door, which continues to be held open by the official. It hurts to bend forward and slide through the ropes, but it hurts even more to find the cage door dropkicked right into her face. Harrison rushes across the mats, goes airborne and delivers a dropkick with such force to the door that it sends the steel swinging right back into Taylor’s skull.

Dollar: The Blacklist finding a way to interfere even with Yvonne and Kathryn out here at ringside!

Susie: Taylor’s face hit that cage-door….hard….REAL HARD.

Dollar: Which happens when you have it dropkicked into you by Harrison.

The sound of steel ricocheting from skull echoes throughout the arena, as do the harrowing screams of the crowd. These screeches only get louder when Tay-Tay finds herself absent mindedly staggering back to the center of the ring and turning right into the Quieter….Lukas delivers the roaring elbow with such force that it actually sends Chase flipping completely over into a corkscrew.

Dollar: The Quieter coupled with that shot from the cage door….

Susie: And did you see the way Taylor’s head bent….her neck may have snapped…snapped I say….

Many fans cannot bring themselves to watch at this point as Lukas, cradling his arm over his chest looks to ensure he’ll be cradling something else to his bosom by the end of this match….the World Heavyweight Championship. It isn’t easy overcoming the hurricarana off the top rope, but somehow Montgomery does just that….crawling into the lateral press and hooking Chase’s leg in the process.

Susie: We’re about to see a new Champion crowned, Johnny. One without boobs or anything.

Dollar: Lukas capitalizing on that shot from the cage door and the Quieter to secure himself the World Heavyweight Championship.

Susie: I can’t watch…but I’m going to anyway.

The referee slips into position and the crowd slips into sheer senility as they watch the hand hit the canvas.

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Two-and-a-half….!

That’s all Lukas gets….because Taylor manages to squirm a shoulder out from under his body and symbolically shoot her arm to the heavens.

Dollar: No…it didn’t finish the job….Taylor remaining champion….

Susie: For now. At least until someone creates an evil Taylor clone to defeat her.

Hands are slapping the barricades and feet are stomping the floors, creating a rumble….pun-intended….in reaction to the World Champion’s kick-out. Lukas sits and shivers, emotions overwhelming him. Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring Aaron has reached under the ring and is now removes a kendo-stick.

Dollar: Oh lord…..as if this didn’t just go from bad to downright horrible for Taylor Chase.

Susie: Aaron bringing the cane into play….the very one that split Orlando’s wiggy a few weeks ago.

Dollar: And it’s about to do the same to Taylor.

Mika continues to distract Yvonne and Kathryn, threatening them with raised fists and derogatory shouts…..taking their focus off of Harrison as he approaches the cage door and pie faces the argumentative official down to the mats. He is seemingly on the verge of turning and introducing the weapon into the ring….but in the process of knocking down the ref….he takes his eyes off the cage door, which is pushed right into his skull….right into his skull by Orlando Cruze!

Susie: Pay-back is a mother.

Dollar: It’s Harrison’s face that gets melded with the steel.

Susie: And not a cool Vulcan mind-meld either.

Dollar: It’s the Icon….he’s interfering and getting retribution on Harrison.

Harrison drops the cane and goes staggering back into the barricade, falling against it for support….his bell rung…clock cleaned….and the bats scattering from the belfry after Orlando leaped from the crowd to get the drop on Harrison and to swing the door into his cranium. Harrison pushes himself away from the barrier just as Orlando picks up the kendo-stick…..at long last having nothing that stands between the weapon and Harrison’s skull.

Aaron slyly back-peddles from Cruze….all the while shouting at him to swing….amongst other things.

Harrison: So the monster emerges from his layer, aye? Out to masquerade himself as the hero…..while making the Blacklist look like the villains? No one is buying it anymore, Cruze….

Instead of allowing the words to phase him…..they prompt a smile to his face….and a retraction of the cane.

Orlando: I’m not the only one tired of your bullshit, Aaron, it’s time to end this the same way it started….

The stick that was swung into Orlando’s skull all those months ago when Harrison took the World Championship….finds itself moments away from crushing Aaron’s head. Finally Orlando is about to have his absolution from Harrison….his revenge, which has been eons in the making.

Cruze has no time to relish this opportunity though, pulling the cane down as quickly as he can towards the waiting, almost gleeful face of Harrison only to halt in mid-motion. His face loses all pigment when Shaun Cruze of all people throws himself between the cane and Harrison’s head.

Orlando is FORCED to stop before he shatters his own brother’s skull….stopping short of Shaun’s head by mere centimeters.

Dollar: Oh come on, Shaun!

Susie: He just stopped his brother from debilitating the man who attacked Shaun on NewAge.

Dollar: If you believe that to be the truth, you are absolutely full of doogy-doo. It was so obvious that Shaun and the Blacklist played Orlando into thinking Shaun had been taken out by the Blackist, so that Orlando would be so angry he would challenge them to that cage match.

Susie: You and Oliver Stone should get together to make a movie.

Orlando looks HIGHLY conflicted….far more conflicted than he should be…unsure what motivates his brother.

Shaun: Don’t….don’t do it, Orlando….don’t stoop to HIS level…..Let ME handle this…..I owe hi big for what he did to me on NewAge.

Shaun doesn’t just make a big request verbally, but does so physically, by reaching out and grabbing hold of the cane in Orlando’s clutches.

Shaun: Give me this and let ME end Harrison before he manages to wholly corrupt you.

The cane is pulled but Orlando obviously is not letting it out of his clutches….no matter how sincere Shaun’s words sound.

Shaun: Let me make amends to you, brother….

An ever so cheesy smile forms on Shaun’s face along with the batting of his eyes.

Shaun: Don’t you trust me?

These words are like a razor to Shaun’s wrist as he verbally commits suicide. No….Orlando does not trust him….and the only way he’s going to get hold of the cane….is when he finds it impaled in his skull. But before Shaun is forced to dig wood fragments from his skull….in races Harrison. Aaron charges up behind Shaun, who ducks just in time for Aaron’s boot to travel over his head and connect right against Orlando’s face….the shuffle side kick connecting.

Dollar: And dammit to hell and back again…

Susie: Oops Shaun did it again.

Dollar: He managed to get Orlando to drop his guard and allowed Harrison to once again get the drop on the Icon.

Harrison’s face twists into a Cheshire grin as he bends over the laid out Orlando…..once again unleashing his twisted logic

Harrison: I told you….NO ONE is buying it anymore.

Harrison’s eyes slowly drift towards Shaun….who has possession of the kendo-stick at this point. But instead of using it as a weapon….bent on the destruction of his target….(Harrison? Or more accurately….ORLANDO?)….Shaun watches….eyeing the plight of his brother. Orlando gets to his knees and in spite of having his bell rung, cries out for the weapon in Shauns hands.

Dollar: Orlando BEGGING Shaun to give him the cane so he can protect himself and Taylor from the Blacklist.

Susie: Something tells me Shaun will give him the cane, but not in the way that Orlando has envisioned.

Upon gazing into the despondent eyes of Orlando, his baby brother is at last moved to a course of action The cane is swung directly into the thin protective matting, shattering it into hundreds of little pieces. Shaun then turns and bends down in front of Orlando with the handle of the weapon still in his hand.

Shaun: I can’t let you use something like this…you might hurt yourself.

The only thing that troubles Shaun is the thought of turning away from Orlando….not turning his back on him….no-no….but removing his eyes from the plight of his own brother. However, he is hit with a sudden influx of regret, when he turns to find himself glaring into the purple eyes of Yvonne.

Yvonne: What….what…have you become?

Even before Shaun can sigh….and TRY to explain himself….a forearm nails Ivy to the back of the neck. Mika has had enough with patience, putting a forearm to Ivy’s back and dropping her to the mats. Kathryn then rushes around the cage and catches Mika by the hair, spinning her around and drilling her to the jaw with a forearm.

Dollar: All hell breaking lose outside of the cage.

Susie: And it’s not getting anymore stable inside of it either.

As war breaks out at ringside….Lukas sees a golden opportunity….literally. His ascent to his feet hurts every muscle in his body….but somehow he manages to get up and stagger towards the door of the steel cage. His knees keep buckling on him yet somehow find the strength to straighten as he gets closer to the door.

The anarchy outside of the ring provides Lukas his best chance of escape. Kathryn and Mika are still going at it as Shaun stoops down over Yvonne, tilting his head to get a more thorough examination of his former fling. Aaron speaks much of the same body language, crouching over Cruze, realizing he has the shaken Icon precisely where he wants him.

This moment of dread is short-lived….for the fans are given cause to rejoice once more when Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith come barreling down the ramp.

Susie: Wonder Twins activate!

Dollar; Here comes the cavalry….Brooklyn Smith and Gary Matt evening up the odds!

Shaun looks up just in time to see Brooklyn coming after him, prompting Cruze to high-tail it. He rushes towards the barrier and leaps over it with Smith in hot pursuit. She jumps the barricade and carries on after Shaun through the crowd while Harrison finds himself once again back-peddling….this time away from Gary….who hasn’t come empty handed.

From his pocket he removes…..a pair of handcuffs.

Dollar: Oh no….here comes the shackles.

Susie: Those things have played such an instrumental role in the history between the Blacklist, Taylor and Orlando.

Dollar: I don’t think the symbolism is wasted on Gary.

Matt lifts the handcuffs into the air, so that Harrison can get a good view of them as he passes by the open cage door. Gary is just stepping past it as he utters words thick with emotion.

Gary: Cruze didn’t deserve to be cuffed….and neither did Taylor….only animals like yourself should be in shackles.

Harrison: I’m NOT the monster here, Gary….you know who the true devil is.

Matt pauses….listening….And it’s that pause that causes things to horribly awry….Montgomery reaches through the ropes and the open doorway to grab the cuffs out of Gary’s elevated arm.

Dollar: NO! Lukas just grabbed the cuffs….he just took them right out of Gary’s hands!

Susie: And he’s bringing them into the cage.

Stunned doesn’t even begin to describe Matt’s current disposition….spinning around to find the cage door being swung shut right in front of his face. Lukas leans back, holding the door closed while dangling the cuffs behind the mesh barrier between himself and Gary…teasing him with the shackles.

Matt TRIES to pull the door open but before he can, Harrison grabs his wrist, yanking it away from the mesh. Intensity…in the raw….consumes Matt’s face as he finds himself eyeing Harrison…Soon it’s his fists rather than his pupils that fix on Harrison, flung directly at his face. Harrison ducks one of the blows and then rushes around behind Matt. Gary spins around and keeps throwing punches even as Aaron steps back avoiding each blow.

Harrison: It doesn’t have to be this way, Gary….it doesn’t.

Harrison backs up around the ramp with Gary pursuing him….unintentionally leaving the handcuffs behind in Lukas’ clutches.

Dollar: No Gary….go back….you’re not thinking clearly…..You’ve got to stop Lukas from using those handcuffs.

Susie: The Blacklist tried to have Taylor compete in handcuffs at Upping the Ante….well now it looks like those cuffs are going to find their way on Chase’s wrists tonight.

Lukas swoops in towards his ailing opponent, Chase just getting to a crawling base before Montgomery steps over the small of her back. He folds Taylor’s arm over behind the back of her head and snaps a cuff around her wrist. The other hand is then taken as Montgomery prepares to bind her entirely….and prevent any chance of her winning the championship this evening.

But Taylor twirls the chain of the handcuff around into her palm and then takes hold of it with her other hand as well….falling forward and using the shackles to flip Lukas over her head. He tried to hold onto the other end of the cuff which led to his detriment….maybe. He rolls right along onto his feet just as Taylor gets up and reveals that the shackle wasn’t cuffed about her wrist after-all….meaning she’s free to wrap it around her knuckles.

She rushes forward and swings right at Lukas’ face with the steel cuff aiding her only to have Montgomery deliver a boot straight to her knee. Chase leaps up and down on one foot, creasing her knee and putting her hands around her leg….grimacing in pain. Lukas then reaches down and picks the cuffs off the canvas, wrapping the chain that unites them around his fist and then going for a knock-out punch. Chase suddenly leaps from her one leg into the TKO on the inbound bicep of Montgomery. Lukas unleashes a roar, twisting down to the canvas and dropping to his knees with the cuffs falling to the ring before him.

Dollar: TKO delivered…on the ARM of Montgomery….that completely shuts down his ability to hit the Quieter….

Susie: And yet….throughout this entire match Lukas was trying to take away Taylor’s ability to hit the TKO.

Dollar: It doesn’t seem to have worked out for him.

Immediately after landing on her feet and finding her knee screeching in pain, she goes falling into the ropes, leaning against them and ultimately using them to greater benefit. She climbs the cables and reaches the wall… scaling the mesh to a loud and sustained pop from the crowd. Everyone watches as Taylor gets closer and closer to the edge of the wall, reaching a hand over it at this point.

Dollar: Taylor is almost out…she’s so incredibly close to retaining the World Championship.

Susie: Overcoming the odds yet again I see.

A leg is thrown over the top of the cage wall, Taylor about to go over when Lukas….using only one arm….scales up the wall beneath her and catches her foot.

Susie: God….Lukas is like Michael Meyers….you just can’t kill him.

Dollar: Every time he’s down he gets back up…and now he’s actually climbing the cage with the use of one arm.

All eyes watch with the utmost intentness as Taylor is dragged from the top of the cage by the foot but then counters the same way she did earlier, landing on top of Lukas’ shoulders and spinning around into the hurrricarana. She drops back only to have Lukas reach out and grab the cage wall with his one good hand. He then unleashes a roar and heaves Chase up onto his shoulders to the absolute amazement of the audience and then leaps off the top rope, delivering a sit-out powerbomb.

Dollar; JESUS GAHD!

Susie: LANCE ARMSTRONG’S MISSING TESTICLE!

Dollar: Powerbomb off the top rope….powerbomb driving Taylor to the canvas….powerbomb capturing the World Title for the Blacklist!!

A seated Montgomery uses what little bits of strength he has left to lean forward into the creases of Taylor’s knees. Every bone in her body has probably been turned into powder….and there are no more synapses firing in her dead brain.

The holy shit chant that pierces through the building is then drowned out by the counting of the crowd.

1

2

And after all the hardships….after all the obstacles….after all the brutality….Taylor Chase just…..couldn’t give up….her arm launches from the canvas in an act of pure defiance.

Dollar: YOU….NO…..DID….How?

Susie: Johnny D….are you speechless?

Dollar: For good reason….Tay-Tay kicks out even after the sit-out powerbomb almost from the top of the cage.

Susie: I’m giving this a solid eight on my mind blown scale.

A ‘Taylor’ chant emanates from the audience….everyone on their feet chiming in as one and throwing their support behind the World Heavyweight Champion. Somehow she is stirring, Lukas doing the same…..as he rolls in the direction of the door realizing it presents the easiest route to securing the World Championship.

He crawls arm over arm towards the door, dragging his limp body along behind him. All use of his lower extremities has been lost….no function in his muscles and nerve-endings.

Meanwhile, outside of the ring Yvonne as well as Orlando are still recovering from the stiff blows to their skulls and Pearson and Mika are throwing fists at one another. That is until Mika side steps a blow, takes Pearson by the back of her head and launches her face into the mesh wiring. Kathryn’s head ricochets from the steel and her body twirls down to the mats.

In spite of all the pain and aggravation, Lukas reaches the cage door and begins to crawl through under the ropes. His organs and bones feel like they’ve been liquefied and shattered….but he keeps his confidence and rallies himself through the door.

Dollar: This is the closest Lukas has come….and there’s finally nothing standing between him and those mats….

Susie: Thank you spoke too soon….AGAIN.

Montgomery’s chest is pressed to the steel steps, which elevates him above the mats, and just before he can slither off the stairs to the mats, Taylor catches him by the ankle. Every last vestige of strength is employed to keep Lukas from reaching those mats. Lukas pushes forward with his all though, the two in a battle of wills…and who’s will shall triumph? The crowd bites their nails in anticipation of this answer…..many cupping their mouths as Mika now rushes around the cage, grabbing Lukas’ wrists. She falls back and TRIES to pull Lukas out of the cage.

Dollar: Look at this…..look at this garbage….Mika trying to pull Montgomery out of the cage…..

Susie: Kozlov hell-bent and determined to make sure Taylor loses the World Title tonight.

Dollar: And that is just what she’s doing right now….in the most reprehensible fashion imaginable.

Mika actually wedges her feet to the steps and pushes back as she yanks on Lukas’ wrists…She and Taylor almost splitting Montgomery in two during their tug of war. Maybe Tay could have held on and kept Lukas inside of the cage IF it were just Montgomery she was struggling with…BUT….she’s fighting against Lukas AND Mika….coupled with some extensive injuries suffered throughout this match….making it impossible to hold on.

It appears now that Lukas is right on the verge of being pulled through the door and that there is nothing that Taylor can do about it. That is until Kathryn rushes across the mats and stops at Mika’s side, grabbing her wrist, lifting her boot and dropping back, delivering the Cool It, Bitch. The move knocks Kozlov to the mats and breaks her grasp on Lukas’ wrists.

Dollar: Kathryn intervenes….she takes out Kozlov before she can pull Montgomery out of the cage and screw Chase out of the championship.

Susie: This is eighty shades of psychotic.

Kozlov is down and grasping her jaw while Taylor grabs hold of something else, Lukas’ waistband. Just before Montgomery can be pulled back into the cage he looks up and spots Pearson standing over Kozlov….his mouth dropping.

Montgomery: WHY?

Suddenly Lukas is pulled back into the cage and Taylor is dropping at his side, grabbing his arm and applying the fujiwara. The fans are acting rabid….frothing at the mouths as Chase rears back on the arm and Montgomery lifts his free palm into the air…going from the highest of highs to the deepest of depths. Just when it seemed he was about to win the title…he now finds himself on the verge of submitting to lose it.

Dollar: Is he gonna tap…..is Montgomery going to submit? If it were ever going to happen, it would be here…it would be now….That arm suffered the TKO for shit kittens sakes….

Susie: But he’s still not giving up….look at him fighting through this agony.

Indeed, the pain coursing through Montgomery’s arm is crippling, bringing his other hand into the air….ready to finally submit and bring this war to an end. Taylor wrenches back as far on the arm as possible until she can almost hear the shoulder snap out of its socket…..but Lukas still won’t give up. He actually begins to drag himself towards the cage door…

Dollar: There is no way….NO WAY…..Lukas pulling Taylor towards the door….about to escape even with Taylor holding onto the fujiwara.

Susie: This guy is a total and absolute freak.

On the outside of the ring Kathryn has helped Yvonne to her feet, helping her teammate up the ramp. Clearly the blow to the back of the head has done some damage…rendering Knight almost incapable of even walking.

Lukas puts an arm through the door and grabs at the steps, trying to use them to pull himself through. It’s at that moment, when Taylor is losing hope that her foot hits the handcuffs introduced earlier into the match. With quick thinking she stands up, grabs the cuffs and breaks the fujiwara in favor of cuffing one of Lukas’ wrists, she then tries to put the other end of the shackles around the bottom rope.

Dollar; Taylor is going to handcuff Lukas to the ropes!

Susie: Pretty resourceful move.

Dollar: It’s the only move she has left at this point.

The cuff is about to shackle and seal Lukas’ fate, coming back to hinder as opposed to help him. Just as Taylor is on the verge of snapping the cuff in place around the top rope, Lukas rears back on the shackle, pulling Chase towards him. He catches her by the waist-band and drags Chase down through the ropes, face first right into the wall of the cage.

Dollar: But Lukas stops Taylor just before she could cuff him to those cables.

Susie: And drives Taylor’s head into the cage wall in the process.

By instinct Chase begins to drag herself to her feet, legs and body feeling like their weighed down by bowling balls. She stumbles right back into Lukas, who takes her shoulder, spins her around, delivers the boot to her gut, heaves her up onto his shoulders and sets for the running powerbomb. He gets about half way across the ring before his arms gives out on him, allowing Chase to push herself up and over his head, leap frogging it. As she comes down behind Lukas, she twists her body and lands facing her opponent’s back. She wedges hands to his spine and shoves him along into the cage wall. Lukas’ momentum sends him flying over the cage wall and his skull ricocheting off the mesh.

A skull now softened up for the final blow….Tay-Tay slapping her knee, which may be killing her but will provide the ultimate solace. The fans are red-hot in anticipation of this final and decisive blow, that Taylor leaps right into, her knee sailing OVER Lukas’ head. How? Montgomery ducks the inbound knee and then catches Chase’s legs over his shoulders before rushing across the ring and throwing her via a release running powerbomb right into the cage wall. Tay-Tay’s body ricochets from the cage and then goes crumbing down between the apron and the steel.

Dollar: AAAAAHH…..POWERBOMB….

Susie: And right into the cage no less!

Dollar: These two have absolutely destroyed one another over the title.

Susie: And their STILL fighting.

The ‘holy shit’ chant rings throughout the Amway Center at the sight of Chase’s body imploding against the cage and now lying comatose between it and the cables. Lukas is in no better shape than Taylor, his arm enflamed by pain as he staggers into the ropes, grabs them and climbs over to the cage wall.

Dollar: Pin-falls didn’t work….going through the cage door didn’t work….submissions didn’t work…..the only avenue left is to climb over the wall and escape the old fashioned way.

Again it seems that Taylor has been soundly incapacitated…..her body so mangled by the multiple collisions with the cage that she literally has no function in her body left….let alone any ability to stop Montgomery from reaching the top of the cage and crossing over. Montgomery, body ailing, muscles contracted, at last reaches the top edge of the wall….albeit it with one arm. He throws a leg over and now straddles the edge, relishing in the despair of the masses.

Dollar: And all the planning….all the plotting….all the destruction finally culminates to Montgomery winning the World Heavyweight Title.

Suise: Can’t believe we’re about to see the Blacklist holding two of our most prestigious championships.

Lukas grimaces as he begins to pull his other leg over the cage wall. Suddenly Chase seems to spring to life, responding to the pleas of the masses. She crawls across the ring…..muscles ailing as she falls into the ropes, using them to drag herself up….in spite of having no use of her legs. She employs her arms and her arms alone to pull herself up the mesh wiring.

Dollar: Taylor going after Lukas….but it might be too late.

Susie: Montgomery is almost out of the cage already.

Actually he IS out of the cage, hanging over the wall and peering down at the outside mats, wondering how much it’ll hurt to just let go and collapse from this height. Before he can make that decision, Chase reaches over the edge and grabs him by the bangs. She then drags his face right into the steel beam coursing through the ledge. Lukas almost going fall back down to the mats….which would be crippling…..but also award him the World Heavyweight Title. But Chase grabs hold of his wrist and begins to mess with it while she straddles the ledge of the cage.

Dollar: Somehow Taylor managed to catch up to Lukas……but now these two are in a very precarious position.

Susie: Who’s going to make it down to those mats….who’s going to take the spill to the title?

Taylor throws her other leg over the ledge and finds herself dangling over the mats just like her opposition. She begins to climb down the wall to secure her World Championship only to have Lukas reach out and surprise her by grabbing the locks of her hair. Chase lets go of the cage and drops to the outside to the cheers of the crowd only to have that applause transform into screeches when they see Taylor’s feet dangling and kicking above the mats without ever touching them.

Lukas is holding Chase up by a handful of hair while his other hand grips the ledge of the cage.

Dollar: Chase was about to drop to the mats and retain the title….but….but….are we seeing this?

Susie: Yes….Taylor is being held by the hair and kept from reaching the mats.

Taylor actually tries to pull her own hair out if that’s what it takes to retain the championship, but Lukas has hold of the very roots. With another primal roar Montgomery heaves Taylor up into the air and back to his side so that she is forced to grab the cage wall. He then pulls back on her face and drives it against the mesh. Taylor bounces off and almost takes a dive to the mats but Lukas keeps a grip on the back of her skull, refusing to let go. Suddenly Chase delivers an elbow right to Lukas’ bicep, aggravating the multiple strikes it’s sustained. Chase then throws a knife edge chop across Lukas’ chest before grabbing the back of his head and ramming his face against the wall.

Lukas shakes off the blow to his cranium then takes Chase’s head into her palm, rearing back and driving it against the wall.

Susie: Who is going to get the advantage? Who-who-WHO!?!

Dollar: Lukas and Chase batting it out on top of the cage with one of them about to take a spill to the outside and win the title.

Taylor grabs Lukas and Lukas grabs Taylor, both simultaneously driving one another’s faces into the cage wall. Their skulls bounce off and once the pain becomes too much for either of them to withstand….they do something else simultaneously, deciding to just let go. Lukas and Taylor release the cage wall and go tumbling to the outside….but only one set of feet hit the mats…..because unbeknownst to Lukas, Taylor shackled the other end of the cuffs around the ledge of the cage. He finds himself swinging from his wrist and watching with stunned eyes as Chase lands across the mats….and by virtue retains her World Heavyweight Championship.

Dollar: Lukas is shackled to the cage…..Taylor retains….Taylor retains!!

Susie: Holy spumoni!

The crowd is about to faint as all the oxygen leaves their lungs, unleashing one of the loudest and most sustained reactions that has ever been heard. Ear drums almost pop as the fans continue to elate in response to Chase’s stunning win…..

Dollar: Again….in spite of overwhelming obstacles….Taylor Chase retains the World Heavyweight Championship….and she did it by using the Blacklist’s own tactics against them.

Susie: She managed to handcuff Lukas’ wrist to the ledge of the cage and kept him from falling at the same time she did…

Dollar: And as a result Chase has managed to once again do the inconceivable….she emerges from the cage STILL the World Heavyweight Champion.

It takes a lot of motivation but Taylor at last gets her knees under her and manages to raise an arm in victory. Lukas on the other hand can’t even lower his own arm….it’s stuck above him, handcuffed to the cage and supporting his hanging body. Even as he swings high above the mats, shoulder almost dislocating and wrist chaffing from the cuff, he manages to unload verbally on the World Champion.

Lukas anger intensifies when Chase gets to her feet and is handed the World Heavyweight Title….one that she raises high above her head.

Dollar; Here it comes…..

Susie: Prepare yourselves.

Chase draws in a deep breath then unloads.

Tay-Tay: I DID IT! I IDID IT!

Everyone in attendance is chanting along.

Tay-Tay: I DID IT! I DID…

Suddenly ANOTHER kendo-stick, retrieved from beneath the ring, SLAMS against Taylor’s upper back and sends her spiraling into the barricade. Mika stands behind her sister, face twisting into an expression of animosity….FINALLY putting her hands on Chase…..or more accurately….a weapon.

Dollar: And the buzz has just been killed….Mika Kozlov attacking Taylor Chase with the cane!

Susie: Until this moment Mika and Taylor have not attacked one another in a physical capacity….but Kozlov has finally lost her cool….She’s snapped after seeing Taylor overcome the Blacklist yet again to retain the World Championship.

Dollar: Mika is absolutely OUT….OF….CON…TROL!

Susie: Did you just call Mika a troll?

Dollar: Absolutely not.

Montgomery: Get her Mika…get her!

All Lukas can do is watch and shout as he hangs from his shackled wrists from the top of the cage…and Mika is doing just as instructed. She swings the cane right into Taylor’s ribs, doubling over the already battle tested and weary World Champion. Another shot from the kendo-stick to the spine reverberates through Chase’s body. She almost trips over her own feet while staggering towards the cage door, instinctively rolling into the steel abomination under the ropes. Kozlov slides in after her and then reaches back slamming the door shut.

Susie: Mika trapping herself and Taylor inside of the cage….this is going to end….and it’s going to end with Chase’s annihilation!

Dollar: The mind-games are over….it’s time for the brutality to begin. Mika has been waiting for this opportunity a long…long time….all their lives Kozlov has been trying to remove Taylor and assume her role as the most beloved daughter of the Chase clan….she might just accomplish that goal finally right here tonight.

Kozlov’s eyes….her serpent like…..soulless pupils turn from the door to the mangled body of her ‘sister.’ It’s obvious after enduring one of the most physical matches of her career that Chase has absolutely nothing left to defend herself against this onslaught. Kozlov swings the cane around her hand several times before forming a tight grip on the weapon. Drool actually oozes from the corner of her mouth, salivating at the thought of crushing Taylor.

Susie: This is the moment Mika has been building towards. Taylor has repeatedly thwarted Mika’s attempts to destroy her spirit and her mind….but tonight….she will not deny Kozlov the opportunity to destroy her body.

Taylor somehow wills herself up to her feet, but unfortunately her back is to Kozlov….Mika taking immediate advantage of this. She rushes in and swings the cane right into her upper spine, knocking Taylor down to the canvas.

Mika: This is all your fault, Malishka!

Another shot from the cane.

Mika: You turned me into this!

A third strike from the cane over the upper back, Chase only held up by being propped against the middle rope, her legs absent of feeling.

Mika: You’re family destroyed mine!

Yet another caning.

Mika: And then you got them all to turn against me!

A fifth fatal blow.

Mika: You loved me once!

And a sixth.

Mika: And you will love me again.

Then a seventh.

Mika: I sacrificed everything….EVERYTHING

An eighth blow leaves a welt across Taylor’s flesh.

Mika: For you….

Kozlov lines up for the ninth debilitating strike.

Mika: I’m through being your guardian….Either come back to me, or I’ll do to you what I did to that other whore!

She starts to step in and swing the cane while referencing the brutality unleashed on Mika’s own mother.

The cane nails her in the upper back and Chase at last collapses from the ropes to the canvas. It takes all of her strength to get up….but for some reason that’s just what she’s doing….putting a knee under her. Mika steps back, gripping the handle of the cane with such friction that blisters are forming on her palms. She now has a free…unrestricted shot to the head.

Mika: We will be sisters again Taylor….you will cooperate….You will accept me….You will LOVE ME!

A moment is taken to stare into the glazed eyes of Taylor as she bobs from one side to the other, teetering between her knees.

Mika: I am the monster you made me….But even monsters deserve love.

Mika lifts the cane above her head and steps in, about to shatter the staff right across Taylor’s face when the World Champion surprisingly leaves the canvas…..knee launching into the air and drilling Kozlov right under the jaw. The TKO connects and keeps Kozlov from delivering the tenth and most destructive blow from the cane.

The weapon collapses to the canvas and Mika follows it…..landing on her elbows and knees. There is drool pouring from the crack of her mouth for an entirely different reason now….going absolutely brain-dead after that last shot from the TKO.

Dollar: TKO from Taylor…..NAILS Mika right to the jaw!

Susie: She had enough of those shots from the cane….and that spiteful rhetoric from Kozlov.

Taylor can barely stand, but finds the strength to approach Mika….AFTER….picking the cane up off the canvas.

Dollar: Uh-oh.

Susie: This is not good for Mika at all.

Lukas desperately pulls on the cuff, trying to break it so he can come to the aid of Mika, but there is no shattering the cuff…..in spite of all the strength….what little remains….exerted upon it.

The fans are now the ones drooling….all in anticipation of seeing Taylor achieve vindication upon the woman crawling away from her. Chase looks between the Singapore Cane in her hands and the target that is Mika’s back.

Taylor: You were never….and will never….be MY sister.

Just as Mika staggers to her feet, Chase rushes in and collapses her spine with a shot so stiff from the cane that it breaks the staff in two. Kozlov then goes stumbling into the ropes, spiraling through them as well as the cage door. It bursts open as Mika spills through it and collapses lifelessly across the mats. The handle of the cane is thrown to the canvas with Taylor’s eyes maliciously focused on the Blacklist member ailing across the mats. She then reaches down and grabs the World Title that she dropped upon rolling into the ring, lifting her gold high above her head.

Dollar: Taylor stands triumphant tonight….perhaps removing the Blacklist from her life for good.

Susie: Feel good moment for Tay-Tay….because although the Blacklist has only been effecting her career here in the IWC for several months now….Mika has been plaguing Taylor for years!

Dollar: Vindication for Taylor.

Chase continues to hold the World Heavyweight Title high above her head, receiving a standing ovation from the fans, and from her recovered fiancée at ringside. Orlando regains footing outside of the ring and claps proudly for his love….his champion. The intense Taylor turns, blowing Cruze a kiss which touches him on so many levels.

Dollar: What a way to kick off Last Stand….Taylor Chase once again emerges victorious and with the World Heavyweight Championship….in the process putting the Blacklist in her past.

Susie: Amazing….feel-good moment here on pay-per-view.

The tumbler which will decide the fate of so many combatants this evening sits in the office of Orlando Cruze….however….he is neither on hand…or capable of drawing the balls…stop laughing…out that shall provide structure…and give the Rumble participants their number of entry. This is of no matter to either P Clarence Whitman III, Katelyn Buehler, or the man who has deemed himself befitting of replacing Orlando for this occasion. Leeland Gaunt.

Mr. Gaunt: Mr. Whitman….Mrs. Buehler…my sincerest gratitude must be extended for joining me here this evening.

Katelyn: No problem, Mr. Gaunt.

Whitman: Ah, to be entirely earnest….

Whitman says while peeking out from behind Buehler’s back, employing her as a human shield.

Whitman:….I was….ah….misinformed. I was told to come here to pick my number for this glorious ‘rumble’ tonight. I actually had no idea YOU….kind fellow….would….ah….be here to help in the picking process.

Mr. Gaunt: The misinformation was quite intentional.

Whitman: Oh….um….I see.

Mr. Gaunt: I highly doubt that you would have shown up had you been privy to the knowledge that I’d also be present. But you Buehler, you had no qualms about adhering to my invitation.

Katelyn: Are you kidding me, Leeland? I owe you everything…..I owe you….the WORLD!

Mr. Gaunt: How wondrously sentimental.

Katelyn: Seriously…..Mr. Gaunt….if it wasn’t for you forcing me to face and conquer my fears, I never would find myself in the position I am now….ready to compete in the Rumble and convinced that I actually have a chance to win it.

Mr. Gaunt: Superb.

Attention turns to Whitman….everyone anticipating his own brand of ass-kissing.

Whitman: Ah….yes….well….I suppose, that I should ah say that I’m thankful you convinced me to shag myself out of the X-Class Championship.

Mr. Gaunt: Hmmmm….you may have lost the title, Mr. Whitman….but in the process your honorable and dare I say, heroic, actions inspired the Black Crusade. And that dear boy, may be a greater accomplishment than retaining any championship. For it takes quite a bit of doing to give the Black Crusade proper inspiration.

Whitman: Ah….well….splendid then. May I take my leave?

Mr. Gaunt I have something that must be said first.

Whitman continues to utilize Katelyn as a physical barrier between himself and Gaunt, his heart beating a mile a minute.

Mr. Gaunt: It’s obvious that the two of you comprise a rare-lot. No one else on the roster has taken to heart our tutelage and have largely misjudged our intentions. So in order to show our appreciation for your ability to learn from the Black Crusade’s methods, and your valiant attempts to rise above your fears, I am here to inform you both that you can count on my consortium of crusaders to watch your backsides in the Rumble this evening.

Whitman: Ah….well…thank you.

Katelyn: No need, Mr. Gaunt, if I’m going to win this Rumble tonight, I’m doing it on my own.

Mr. Gaunt: Tis not an option I’m presenting you with here, my Dear. Groups like the Blacklist and the Coalition have made it clear that victory cannot be achieved by merit of one’s skill alone. I’m merely stating that the likes of Mr. Hush and Silence will ensure that there is no tomfoolery and treachery involved in this rumble when time comes for your participation.

Whitman: If you insist.

Katelyn: But Mr. Gaunt….

Mr. Gaunt: No, Mrs. Buehler….please do not argue this Black Crusade decree. It is but a small token of our appreciation for the two of you rallying us to a greater cause….the salvation of this federation. And you, Mrs. Buehler….you are the embodiment of that salvation. Our actions spared you from a life of drug abuse and a spiral into utter oblivion….through forcing you to conquer fear, you transformed from a meek, all together pathetic jobber, to one of the most coveted athletes on this roster. You are redemption, Buehler, in its purest form….and you are the very backbone of the Black Crusade’s campaign to imbue this company with spirit. We will not stand idle as forces such as Blacklist and Coalition threaten to corrupt and crush that spirit.

Katelyn: But I can handle them.

Mr. Gaunt: Truly? Is that why you’ve fallen to them TWICE in recent weeks?

Katelyn feels the knot that has yet to fade from the back of her head, resulting from the shot with the gavel.

Mr. Gaunt: Their numbers present an insurmountable obstacle….so I plead with you…with you BOTH….to accept the assistance of the Black Crusade this evening.

Whitman: As long as Silence steers clear of my mustache I’m sure we can all get along fabulously.

Mr. Gaunt: I’m surprised you are so willing to accept assistance from the Black Crusade, Mr. Whitman, given your stubborn resistance in the past.

Whitman: Ah well….I’m truly a changed man.

Mr. Gaunt: As much was evident on the last edition of Riot!

Katelyn: Alright…FINE….if the Black Crusade wants to watch my back to prevent Ba’al from doing anything….kooky….I guess I’ll accept your offer on that basis and that basis alone.

Mr. Gaunt: Excellent.

Katelyn: Now can I PLEASE draw my number?

The tumbler that has sat idle through this entire conjecture is at last referenced.

Mr. Gaunt: By all means.

Gaunt steps aside and opens his palm while gesturing to the tumbler

Mr. Gaunt: It is another reason we’ve all gathered here, is it not?

At first Buehler nods and reaches in to extract her number before her hand stops cold, and her eyes twist confusingly to the maniacal Mr. Gaunt.

Katelyn: Did I hear you correctly?

Mr. Gaunt: Pardon?

Katelyn: Did you just imply that YOU’RE entering the Rumble tonight?

Mr. Gaunt: Hahahaha….oh my dear, I IMPLIED nothing.

Before Buehler can take hold of a ball….resisting so hard to insert a joke here….Leeland reaches into the tumbler instead and takes a number. Upon examining it Mr. Gaunt does the inconceivable, he smiles.

Whitman: You look…..pleased.

There is no response save for the smile on Leeland’s face.

Whitman: My turn….

Katelyn: No cutting in line.

Whitman is shoved back just as he tried to maneuver around Buehler…..who refuses to allow anything to stand between herself and the tumbler. Finally her hand reaches through the ever so tiny door and removes her number. All eyes are on the number…except for Buehler’s.

Whitman: So dear….how did you do?

She begins to open her fingers to reveal her entry number but then balls up her fist before she can even get a peek at it.

Katelyn: Why ruin the surprise?

Whitman: Ah….well that’s….okay.

Mr. Gaunt remains silent as Katelyn gives the pair a nod and proceeds towards the door. Now that Whitman is without his human shield, there being no buffer between he and Gaunt….the former X-Class Champion stews uncomfortably. He fixes the knot in his tie, and then does so again and again.

Mr. Gaunt: I believe it now IS your turn.

It doesn’t take Mr. Gaunt to remind him…..Whitman well aware that he’s supposed to be plucking his number from the tumbler, but he hesitates. As usual Clarence is worried….fearful that he’ll pick a truly unenviable position…considering his only luck is of the bad variety.

He steps up the metaphorical plate, but instead of swinging a bat, he cracks his knuckles. Fingers then twiddle out to his sides and apprehensively draw in near the tumbler. He is about to take out one of the balls before suddenly drawing his hands back to his jaw, rubbing it contemplatively.

Mr. Gaunt: Would you just pick one already!?!

An uncharacteristic outburst from Mr. Gaunt that goes against his normal calm and docile demeanor causes Whitman’s heart to not just jump into his throat, but almost leap straight from his mouth. After much prompting, Whitman finds the courage to reach into the tumbler, remove his number and tentatively examine it. Unlike Mr. Gaunt, there is no smile….there is nothing…..nothing but a look of perpetual dread.

Whitman: Ah….

The door has just finished closing behind Katelyn Buehler’s back before she’s instantly pounced upon by Greyson Lovejoy and the veracious Sparkles.

Sparkles: Hey tight-jeans….if you’re gonna walk away…do it a little slower would you?

This is not the time……nor is it the place….Buehler wants to maintain her focus on one thing, and it isn’t the creepy come-ons of a puppet.

Greyson: Hello Katelyn….please do your best to excuse Sparkles….

Sparkles: Yeah….I didn’t have a chance to rub one out before the pay-per-view started….Wasn’t anything good on…..except for Jumpin Jack Flash, and no matter how hard I squinted I just couldn’t make Whoopi Goldberg boner worthy.

Katelyn: Are either of you going to ask a question soon? Because believe it or not, there are other places I’d like to be.

Greyson: Oh yes…of course….You see, Katelyn, we’ve been positioned here to capture the reactions of those competing in the Rumble match tonight…as it relates to the discovery of their entry order.

Sparkles: Though there are other numbers you can hit us with too….like your measurements for instance.

Katelyn: I think I’ll pass.

Greyson: So how is your confidence effected knowing what number you’ll be entering at tonight?

Katelyn: Well that’s just it….I don’t know….

Greyson looks down and Sparkles looks up, the two awkwardly making eye contact.

Sparkles: Oooookay.

Greyson: So even after you picked your number you still don’t know what….

Katelyn: No….I don’t….is it so strange to not want to know….at least up until the start-time for the Rumble?

Sparkles: Yeah, but don’t feel bad, all the bitches around here are crazy if they can resist my swagger.

Greyson: Guess that takes some kahonies on you’re part.

Sparkles: And hey, if you DO have kahonies don’t worry….I can work around that. I ain’t picky.

It’s Buehler’s turn to stare between the faces of ventriloquist and puppet, looking confused and somewhat slack jawed.

Katelyn: It’s not bravery I’m attempting to show…it’s just I don’t want to get myself too psyched out is all…I just do….

Howdy Katie!

The familiar tone of Rachel Foxx puts an instant end to the conversation and Buehler’s fists into a defensive position…..too late…..The moment she turns to engage the speaker…in something that will undoubtedly NOT be words….a gavel connects directly against her cheek. Buehler is toppled to the floor….knocked completely unconscious by this swift…..unexpected blow. As she collapses to the concrete, Sparkles and Greyson flee from the two individuals who take their place. Rachel drops down to her knees while Ba’al falls to his seat and takes Katelyn’s head into his arms, placing the back of her skull across his lap and stroking her hair ever so gently.

Ba’al: So you believe in this notion of redemption? That the damned can be brought back from the brink….that the sinful can be saved? Well Katelyn…I’m afraid you’ve been misinformed. This misguided ideal you harbor in that tiny little brain of yours that you can reinvent yourself and become something more than a mere whore….is a delusion and nothing more. You will never rise above your station, and your sins will never be forgiven.

Rachel: Sorry Katelyn….but you’re nothing more than a loser and a whore.

Ba’al: I’ve defeated you twice already, Katelyn, that should more than demonstrate that you are a nothing….Not a champion….not an athlete of merit…..and not the spirit of this company. You are not redeemed…..for there is no true redemption…..

Rachel: The wicked can’t be redeemed….they can only be punished. Time to suffer a whore’s fate.

It seems like it takes mere seconds for Buehler’s hand to be placed over the concrete floor and for Rachel to smash her fingers with the gavel….but the pain is long and persistent. Even the tough, durable Buehler cannot help but to cry out in total agony. She draws her broken fingers to her stomach and rolls around bellowing in agony. Rachel steps around her body but Ba’al is on all fours, slithering in reverse while keeping his face elevated above Buehler’s contracted features.

Alana: Where is she….WHERE IS THAT BLUE EYED BITCH!?!

Not only are we privy to the screeching voice of Alana Starr, but the sound of her fists drilling a downed Cassidy Haze to her forehead.

Alana: Tell me where she is….Tell me where she’s hiding!

Another punch…then another….Alana’s knuckles bruising against Cassidy’s face. She kneels at the side of the laid out Haze, who has her side wedged to a wall….pinned to the ground with no avenue of escape.

Alana: She’s not getting out of this..not again.

Her red knuckles are retracted and Haze is held up by the bangs of her hair….her smiling face providing a tempting target. Even though her lip has been busted and blood is seeping from the corner of her mouth, Haze manages to cackle.

Cassidy: Do you honestly think I would tell you even if I DID know where Bosslady was?

Alana: Oh you’ll tell me…..I can make you talk.

There is no hesitation shown by Starr to reach right down into Haze’s corset and remove the switch blade she has hidden between her breasts. The knife is extended and pressed to Cassidy’s throat.

Alana: Where is Brittany?

Casssidy: Really?

Haze is not impressed.

Cassidy: You think that scares me?

The tip of the blade imbeds into Cassidy’s skin….blood beginning to dribble out of the gash.

Cassidy: It doesn’t, Love….But I’ll tell you what I know…which is NOTHING. I have no idea why Bosslady has gone dark.

The shaking in Starr’s body extends to every inch of her physique save for the hand clutching the blade, it is remarkably still and composed.

Alana: You know more than your saying.

The blade is forced against the carotid.

Alana: I’m not going to be denied Lohan…not again.

Andre: NO!

Into the scene dashes Jordan, intervening just before Starr can make a crucial mistake that will haunt her immediate future. He grabs Starr by the wrist and forces the knife both away from Cassidy’s throat and out of Alana’s hands. He then pulls her up to her feet by her wrist only to have Alana scream and shove him back.

Alana: What are you doing, DRE!?! Stay out of this!

Andre: No….what are YOU doing? And I can’t turn a blind eye to this shit….

The hands that keep pushing Andre back every time he steps in are finally snatched hold of….Andre restraining her wrists.

Andre: You’re totally mental….You’ve lost it Baby….

Alana: Don’t call me that….you lost the right to call me that!

Andre: Because I tried to keep you from making the biggest mistake of your life? Look at you….look at this…

He gesutres towards the downed Cassidy, who has pulled herself up and is now seated against the wall putting pressure on the small wound in her neck.

Andre: This isn’t who you are….You’re better than this garbage.

Alana: I NEED Lohan….and YOU….you NEED to stay out of my way.

Starr releases her wrists from Jordan’s grips, tearing away and storming down the corridor. All Andre can do is stand there and sigh…..his grimace more pronounced when hearing the menacing laugh of Haze.

POLLY NORAH VS. PORNO LAD

”EVERYBODY”

The Backstreet Boys serenade Porno Lad and Kordelia Price on their way to the ring. They stop on the stage with Lad thrusting his arms out to his sides while Kordy drops beside him and wraps her arms around his thigh, leaning her cheek against his pelvis. A smirking Prankster reaches down and grabs Kordelia by the hair, pulling back on her head so that her big eyes are glaring up into his face. His fingers outstretch and run down her throat before giving her a light slap on the cheek. He then uses the grip on the hair to pull Price up to her feet….the two headed to the squared circle where Lad is about to defend his chauvinistic stance.

Dollar: Chaos everywhere here tonight. Katelyn Buehler’s hand mangled by Ba’al and Rachel Foxx, and now Alana Starr attacking Cassidy Haze in search of Brittany Lohan.

Susie: Looks like the Rumble has just lost TWO entrants. Buehler not able to compete with a presumably fractured hand, and Brittany Lohan apparently not going to be here tonight.

Dollar: Indeed, we’ve heard nothing from the Lohan camp these past few weeks and Cassidy all but confirmed that she’s not going to be competing this evening.

Susie: Well one person we KNOW is about to compete is Porno Lad….Porny to square off against one of the newest members of the IWC roster….the woman who attacked him on Riot!

RIOT!

A brief highlight video recaps the occurrences of Riot, which set up this whole bout tonight. The scenes pertain to Katelyn Buehler and Kordelia Price going one on one before Porno Lad TRIES to intervene, leaping to the apron and shouting directly at his long time on again off again flame.

Dollar: As you can see, Katelyn Buehler challenged Kordelia Price to an impromptu match on Riot!, after Kordelia made an ass of the entire women’s roster by shaking her ass…

Susie: Yeah, Porny had some choice words for Buehler…..before…..

We see the largely unknown Polly Norah leap the barricade before the fans can get hold of her and grab Porno Lad’s ankle, dragging him down off the apron.

Susie: Polly Norah, who as we understand it, is the sister of Josh Hudson of SCW fame, intervened, dragging Lad off the apron, fed up with Porno Lad’s disgusting and vile thoughts on woman.

Susie: But it didn’t end there.

Once security finally gets hold of Norah, Lad swoops in and takes advantage of her restrained arms, delivering a punch to the face of the defenseless newcomer.

Susie: Porny took advantage of security’s intervention, by trying to attack Polly Norah when she couldn’t put up a fight.

Dollar: And then on NewAge we found out that Katelyn managed to get Polly signed to a contract here in the IWC, and that her first match will be against the very man who has disrespected her, and all female wrestlers.

Upon entering the ring Porno Lad and Kordelia continue to engage in somewhat lustful and lascivious behavior. Price slides through the ropes before Porno Lad rises to the apron and extends his hand, snapping his fingers. Kordy looks confused before Lad points to the middle rope.

Porno Lad: Do it right this time.

Kordy: Oh….sorrys.

As requested Price throws her leg through the ropes, straddling the middle cable. A judgmental Porno Lad watches as Kordelia grinds her crotch against the cable.

Kordy: Is Kordy doing good?

Porno Lad: Hmmm….hike up your tights a little further into the crack of your ass.

New intro lyrics interrupt the objectification of Price…..Polly Norah has seen enough, stepping to the stage and racing down the ramp, eager to get her hands on the Original Prankster, with or without Katelyn being there to have her back. She slides in to finally shut the loud mouthed Porno Lad up only to have her target lift a palm into the air while brushing Price around behind his back. This surprising act of chivalry, Lad actually protecting Price, who he backs up into a corner behind him, has shocked Polly enough to hesitate. This gives Porno Lad enough time to remove the microphone from his waist band.

Porno Lad: Listen here, hussy….

Eyes the world over are batting, unsure when it was the last time they heard the word ‘hussy’ used as an insult.

Porno Lad: If you think I’m going to face you tonight….think again.

Polly grimaces while Kordy fiddles with something in the corner behind Lad’s back.

Porno Lad: I’m afraid I can’t let this match happen. Porno Lad is not about to face an unproven rookie….even if you happen to be related to a long-time associate of mine, Josh Hudson. Actually, given your relationship with Hudson, one would think you’d be a bit smarter than to challenge me to a match….but….I guess you are a woman.

Polly may not be the last lady who leaps a barricade to get their hands on Porno Lad.

Porno Lad: I suppose you’re thinking that by facing me, you’re going to get that big superstar rub, and your career will be given instant credibility. But my time is better spent elsewhere, like winning the Rumble tonight and becoming the World Champion that all these fans can truly adore and worship. A champion with a cock!

No one endorses this notion, save for Kordelia, who is still fidgeting with something on the turnbuckle.

Porno Lad: I’m going on to have my PERFECT Invictus moment, just like I did back at Paranoia where I won the World Heavyweight Championship. History has a funny way of repeating itself….much to the benefit of all these Porno-maniacs in attendance here tonight!

There are no such Porno-Maniacs comprising the near feral audience.

Porno Lad: But considering that you ARE a member of Hudson’s fabled family….I’m going to go against my better judgment and give you an opportunity, Polly. I’m willing to take another protégé under my wings and teach you what it takes to become a star in this company in spite of the curse of a vagina. So take a deep breath, calm your nerves, and then graciously accept my invitation to join the Haram!

As if Polly would actually consider this option, which Porno Lad presents as a truly career-defining, star-making opportunity.

Porno Lad: This is your chance, Polly. The chance of a lifetime. You want to be a star….I’ll make you a star….Just like Kordelia….So go ahead, drop to your knees and express your gratitude the only way you know how.

The microphone is suddenly ripped right out of Porno Lad’s palm, who steps back dropped jaw over this audacious display.

Polly: Me….being part of your ‘Haram’….I don’t think so.

Defiance displayed both in the stealing of the microphone and the shaking of her head.

Polly: You can take your offer and you can shove it right up your ass….though you’re probably no stranger to having things up your poop shoot.

Porno Lad: HEY….HEY-HEY-HEY!!

The microphone is taken from Norah just as audaciously as it was snatched from his own hand. The Original Prankster is absolutely flipping his lid in response to these WILD accusations.

Porno Lad: How dare you….There are children here tonight…children who buy my t-shirts and giant foam fingers….children who can NOT be exposed to such non-PG insults like the one that just came from your cum sucking lips!

Oh the hypocrisy….OOOOOH the HYPOCRISY.

Porno Lad: Everything out of your mouth is such filth…..I can’t stand it….I WON’T stand it…..And being a woman, you don’t know what’s good for you, so I’m taking the choice of your hands. Tonight, you’re gonna face Kordelia Price, and if you beat her, then maybe I’ll pull double duty and whip your derriere before I go on to compete in the Rumble. But if you lose to her….then you have to join my Haram. Agreed?

The options are debated, until Polly resolves herself to the fact that this is truly the only method of ensuring a one on one match against Porno Lad. She reaches for the microphone, but Lad pulls back, refusing to hear her speak. So all she can do to confirm her participation in this match is to nod.

Porno Lad: Congratulations, you just made the smartest decision of your life. You’re gonna love being a member of my Haram.

The microphone lowers from Lad’s lips, which HAVE been running way too much. But this is followed by another run….of the literal variety. As the microphone lowers all the way to the canvas, his hand grabs the back of Polly’s head, her face ran right into the turnbuckle Kordelia had taken refuge in. All becomes clear when Kordelia steps out of the way and reveals that Porno Lad wasn’t being chivalrous at all in protecting Price, but actually putting her in position so she could discreetly untie the top turnbuckle pad.

Porno Lad flings Polly face first into the exposed steel bolt.

Dollar: WAIT!

Suise: Porno Lad and Kordelia Price just set Polly Norah up.

Dollar; We thought Porno Lad was protecting Price from Norah, but he wa actually putting her in position to expose that turnbuckle bolt.

Susie: And now Polly has just got a forehead full of it.

Norah staggers back right into the waiting arms of Price, who rolls her up into a school girl. The fans plead with referee Stuart Wright NOT to make the count…..as he had been standing idly in the corner this whole time chatting it up with underage girls in the front row. When he hears the wails of the fans and sees the pin being made, Wright finally assumes the position.

1

2

Porno Lad is already celebrating at ringside.

Dollar: I can’t believe Polly Norah is about to become a member of the Haram.

The hand comes down and the celebration….ENDS…..because Norah gets her shoulder up from the canvas a mere fraction of a second before the three count.

Susie: Hey-hey-hey….she just got a shoulder up.

Dollar: Polly Norah kicks out…..she somehow manages to get a shoulder up even after her face collides with that exposed turnbuckle bolt.

Susie: Porno Lad’s best laid plans have just gone horribly awry.

Dollar: Polly proving that she’s a bit more capable than that idiot Porno Lad has suggested…..But again, I’m not even going to begin to defend the wrestling abilities of the women on this roster, they’ve already shown their far more capable than Porno Lad is willing to give them credit for.

Susie: Awww….thank you, Johnny D.

Dollar: Well all save for one.

It infuriates Porno Lad that Polly kicked out….making him look weak considering it was his mighty hands that introduced her face to the turnbuckle bolt….a move that damages his reputation as a Mega-Face. He looks pensively at the crowd then shouts towards the ring at Kordelia.

Porno Lad: How dare you take off that turnbuckle pad….Bad Kordy…BAD!

If only he had a rolled up newspaper to slap her on the nose. This scolding gives Price a complex.

Kordy: But….but….you told Kordy too.

Porno Lad: I did no such thing, now stay on top of her!

In spite of her misgivings over her inability to please Porno Lad, Kordy TRIES to do exactly as instructed. She drops down beside the laid out Polly, who has a hematoma forming on her forehead, and begins to grind her face back and forth across the canvas.

Kordy: Yeah….yeah…..eat that canvas……

Price then transitions straight into an arm-bar, pushing down hard on the shoulder while heaving the bicep into the air, bending the arm at an awkward angle.

Porno Lad: What do you think you’re doing?

All color fades from Kordy’s face, going white as her eyes widen and turn towards the disgruntled Prankster.

Kordy: Oh.

Kordelia immediately breaks the submission hold, stands up and begins to swing her backside through the air, twerking.

Porno Lad: Better….much better.

The twerking continues right up until Price delivers a hip check to Polly’s cheek and temple. Norah rolls along into the turnbuckle, falling against it, and ending up propped against the very corner featuring the steel bolt that bludgeoned her skull.

Dollar: This is just stupid…absolutely stupid.

Susie: Price went for a hold but decided a twerk served her better.

Dollar: No, Porno Lad demanded she break the submission and twerk instead…all in an act to undermine women as wrestlers. It’s just plain stupid.

Susie: And Kordelia is gonna continue to use that rump.

At the behest of Porno Lad, Price finally hikes up her trunks, turning them into a G-string while backing her rump towards Polly’s face. The ladies go cheek to cheek. Kordelia’s ass cheeks wedged to Polly’s face cheeks. She grinds her rear-end against Polly’s lovely face while laughing towards the audience.

Kordy: You love this, don’t you boys? And you love your Kordy….

Some male fans agree, but the vast majority of the smarter less casual wresting demographic are no fans of Kordelia or her act.

Dollar: STUPID!

Price then turns around and makes a ‘suck it’ gesture with her hands before rushing at Polly and leaping into the air. Instead of her ass being rubbed against Polly’s face, it’s now her crotch, delivering the bronco buster.

Dollar: STUPID!

Susie: Kordelia continuing to objectify both herself and Polly.

Dollar: This is downright intolerable. How can Porno Lad manipulate Price, who was a technical wizard on the independent circuit into behaving like this?

Susie: Porny has her convinced that this is the only way to make her a star.

Dollar: That is BEYOND ridiculous….Did Price not just see Taylor Chase’s performance inside of the steel cage against Lukas Montgomery? Chase showed how you make yourself a star with truly gutsy performances like those…..not with bronco busters and stink faces.

Susie: Well Porno Lad is a very manipulative individual.

Dollar: Don’t I know it….He had me and everyone else convinced that he was actually a hero…one worth emulating.

Speaking of Porno Lad, he’s in the process of fanning himself off, acting like he’s getting all hot at the sight of Kordelia rubbing her junk in Polly’s face. This actually builds Price’s confidence, realizing that she’s actually excited her mentor. Therefore she decides to intensify her efforts, stepping to the center of the ring and doing a little twirl, continuing to thrust out her hip several times in the process. She does get a few cat-calls, but even more heckles.

Kordelia: That’s right, Kordy gonna be a star.

All the hip checking and rump gyrating ends when Prince refocuses her assault on Polly, rushing into another bronco buster. The crotch connects, with Polly’s raised foot.

Dollar: Polly blocking the bronco buster!

Kordelia collapses to the canvas with hands cradling her wounded vagina….in so much pain she can’t even cry out. Her anguish is reduced to nothing more than contortions of her anguished face as she rolls around on the canvas. Polly doesn’t roll….she flips…grabbing the top rope and using her incredible upper body strength to pull herself up and onto the turnbuckle. She then stands up and watches impatiently as Kordy gets to her feet.

It would be wise for Kordy to stay down..but she’s not exactly a bastion of wisdom. Her legs finally find the strength to support her body just as Polly flies off the turnbuckle, flips over her head, catches her around the neck and delivers the blockbuster. The flip over neck-breaker connects with enough force to give Price a stinger coupled with a splitting migraine.

Susie: Big move out of the corner by Price.

Dollar: And that’s how you make yourself a star.

Susie: Maybe Porno Lad has Kordelia thinking that making yourself INFAMOUS is easier than making yourself famous.

Dollar: That’s one lesson Porno Lad is actually qualified to teach.

A palm slithers down Porno Lad’s face, ending up at his mouth, cupping it to keep himself quiet, restraining any curse words that would paint him as anything but PG. He can ill afford to lose any endorsement deals stemming from being too controversial, which doesn’t happen from insulting women…or engaging in acts of violence…but four letter words….that’s a big no-no.

Her head may be pounding after being driven into the exposed steel bolt, but Polly manages to still use her brain to regain function of her body. She stands up just as Kordy swoops in in front of her, taking hold of Norah’s head.

A hair-mare connects, flipping Polly over….right onto her feet. A surprised Kordy charges in and gets clocked under the jaw with a leaping back heel kick. The shot knocks Price to the canvas and sends her rolling across the ring, surprisingly back to her feet. The second she gets up, Polly rushes in and nails a lariat to her throat. Kordy rolls over and gets back up only to suffer the same fate, driven to the canvas with a clothesline.

Price scrambles to get back up just as Polly leaps in, hitting another lariat that takes them both down to the canvas, Norah landing beside her hyper sexualized opponent. She then kicks back her hair and unleashes a feral glare in the direction of the screeching crowd.

Susie: Polly Norah has got momentum on her side.

Dollar: I hope Kordelia is learning from this….Polly showing Kordy how to truly make an impression. She’s on the verge of defeating Price, and ultimately wins are what get you recognition, no matter how much you shake your ass before losing.

Indeed, Polly is getting closer and closer to the win. She slithers backwards across the ring, rump raised, claws dug into the canvas, looking like a lioness about to pounce from the brush. Price may be aching as a result of these numerous strikes coming at her from every angle, but she still stands up, right in time for Polly to come barreling in with a spear. It connects, lifting Price up off of her feet and almost splitting her in half like a twig.

Dollar: The SPEAR…..Norah cutting Price in two.

Susie: So Kordelia was just two midgets standing on top of each other’s shoulders this whole time? Brilliant.

Norah may still be suffering the ill-effects of that collision with the turnbuckle bolt….hence why she’s repeatedly shaking her head and trying to clean the bats from her belfry. She stands up at long last and hunches down into position. This isn’t just about a win….this is about making a statement to Porno Lad and any man who endorses his ridiculous rhetoric.

She extends her arms out to her sides, twiddling fingers, looking for God only knows what at this point…but it’s bound to be pretty damn destructive. Like a lamb, Kordelia is leading herself right along into the slaughter. She stands up, but almost loses her footing several times, knees about to give out on her as she turns into a kick to the gut, putting her head right into Polly’s clutches. Norah catches her around the neck and then swings her free arm around into what looks like a twist of fate. However, she stops in mid-swing when she sees Porno Lad leaping up onto the apron in front of her.

Polly’s attention is derailed….releasing Kordy and then rushing at the braggart. But before she can get to him, someone else who has a vested interest in Porno Lad’s punishment, grabs him by the ankle and drags him down from the apron. The Original Prankster lands on his feet and for the second week in a row finds himself caught off guard unsuspectingly….this time by a baseball bat wielding TPKid.

Dollar: TPKid and BMW coming out here to keep Porno Lad from interfering in this match…..I never thought I’d be so thankful to see Kid.

Susie: You’re still jealous over his riding lawnmower, aren’t you?

Dollar: Who wouldn’t be? I guess I can finally relate to this guy though, he too was played by Porno Lad into believing Ethan is something that he’s not.

Porno Lad backs right up into the chest of BMW, finding himself the meat in a sandwich he for once has no interest in participating in. TPKid steps towards him still clutching the bat.

TPKid: You want back your tag team title, huh? Then face me for it mother-fucker.

BMW: Yeah…face him for it and end this once and for all, bitch!

A slap is delivered to the back of Porno Lad’s head.

Porno Lad: Are you both out of your minds? NO!

The idea is shot down right then and right there.

Porno Lad: We’re gonna make this work….we can make this Free-Bird rules work….you….me….Gavin….we can all be the Tag Team Champions. I can make you and Gavin….STARS!

TPKid: You fucking coward….the only stars you’re about to see are the ones floating around your head.

Kid pulls back the bat and swings it right at Porno Lad’s face….and it connects…right against the skull of BMW. Just as the bat careens towards his face, Porno Lad reaches back, grabs BMW’s wrist and drags her into the way of the bat which bounces right off of her skull.

Dollar: NOOOO! Oh God…oh dammit.

Susie: Baseball bat to the head….of the Black Magic Woman!

Dollar: Because Porno Lad….that son of a bitch…that cold hearted mother….

Susie: Easy now, Johnny.

Dollar: I’m sorry, but this is just reprehensible.

Immediately after taking out his lover, Kid drops the bat and falls to his knees at BMW’s side, looking absolutely grief stricken. All the while Porno Lad is rushing up the ramp to the backstage area.

TPKid: What….what did I do?

TPKid begins his own mad-dash to the back with BMW stretched over his arms, carting her body to the backstage area where she can retrieve medical help. Polly watches all of this with a predictably stunned expression…which of course causes her to drop her guard against Kordy, who rushes in behind her with a one handed bulldog. She catches Polly by the back of the head and then dives forward only to have Norah shove her off and right into the ropes. Price hits the cables and begins to rush back in towards Polly, who is swinging around into a roaring elbow. This time Kordelia wraps her arms around the top rope and prevents herself from charging back into the same move that cost her a win against Buehler.

Norah then charges in only for Price to dive through the ropes and put some distance between herself and her adversary. But the cables aren’t going to stop Polly, she reaches right through them in order to get her hands on Kordelia’s hair. She snatches a bundle of it into her grasp and yanks back only to have her face caved in by a baseball bat. Price manages to get hold of the weapon and plow it right into Price’s skull, knocking her flat on her ass.

Dollar: And now the bat being used by Kordelia as well.

Susie: She’s learning quite a bit from Porno Lad.

Dollar: All the wrong lessons…

Wright is out of position to see the use of the bat, standing on the apron and flirting it up with a female fan….of the teenage variety, planted in the front row. He doesn’t even look back in time to spot Kordelia sliding into the ring, grabbing a near unconscious Polly by the hair and charging her along face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle bolt. Her head bounces back and her body tumbles limply to the canvas.

Dollar: And into the bolt as well!

Susie: Overkill!

Dollar: It can’t end like this…it can’t…..dammit ref get your head out of a pair of tits and into the damned match!

Kordelia quickly slides into the lateral press, grinding her forearm against Polly’s face repeatedly in the process. At last Wright turns around and spots the pin being made, prompting him to act. He drops to the canvas and slaps the ring to total and extreme repulsion from every onlooker in attendance.

Dollar: Kick-out…PLEASE kick-out Polly….

Susie: I think that ship has sailed.

1

2

All the harrowing screams…all the pleas….they fall on deaf….no…unconscious ears.

Dollar: Damn!

Susie: Polly Norah has just been….she’s just been….

Dollar: She’s been pinned by Kordelia Price….this is disgusting!

Polly remains laid out and motionless while Kordelia leaps excitedly around the ring, making sure to shake her rump in the process.

Kordelia: KORDY DID IT! KORDY WINS!!

Stomachs the world over feel as if they’ve just been hit with a case of food poisoning as Kordy continues to embrace the win in a true celebratory fashion.

Dollar: I think I’m going to need a barf-bag.

Susie: Kordelia Price wins the match which means….

Dollar: Polly Norah now has to become a member of the Haram.

Unfortunately Polly eventually wakes up, her eyes opening to mere slits as the sounds of Kordy’s entrance music pipes through the PA system. A hand moves to the hematoma forming in her scalp as it just begins to dawn on her the fate that has now befallen the femme. It’s unclear what is worse, the pounding migraine, or the fact that she is now to be subjugated and controlled by the misogynistic Porno lad.

Dollar: This is just….just….terrible on so many levels.

Susie: It goes BEYOND terrible for Polly Norah.

Kordy is so all consumed by her page-turning performance that she doesn’t even notice Lilly Lyman sliding into the ring behind her. Lilly crawls towards Polly and tries to calm Norah down….tries to make her see the light through the clouds.

Dollar: And Lilly Lyman, who has been adamant in her hatred for Porno Lad’s and Kordelia Price’s DISGUSTING rhetoric towards woman….is out here to try and council Polly Norah.

Susie: Showed up a second too late to prevent Kordy from using that bat and the turnbuckle bolt to her advantage.

Dollar: I don’t think anything Lilly says to Polly right now is going to put her at ease in regards to joining the Haram.

Polly is totally vacant of emotion at the moment, in a perpetual state of shock. She is unable to come to grips with what just happened, or hear the reassuring words of Lyman. But what she does hear, what she is FORCED to hear, are the words of Kordy, who stoops over the pair of conversing ladies and interrupts their dialogue.

Kordy: You’re so lucky, Polly, you’re gonna be a STAR, just like Kordy. Oh, and Lil…

A disgruntled Lyman drags her eyes from the ailing face of Norah, to the smiling face of Kordy.

Kordy: There might be a spot for you too….But first you’re gonna have to show a bit more cleavage.

Suddenly Lilly lunges to her feet and shoves Price down right on her ass.

Dollar: I think that’s a ‘no’ from Lyman.

A betrayed Price scoots back across her bottom as Lilly gives her the glare of death.

Frankie Paradise: He’s here….he’s here….OMG….OH MY GAWD!

Never before has Frankie looked so nervous, pacing back and forth in the parking lot, IPhone clutched to his ear. Why is he so excited though, especially with his pants on and no type of striper pole in the vicinity?

Frankie: You guys are going to be BEYOND thrilled with this latest acquisition….

He’s STILL sucking up to the Board, on the other end of the phone presumably hanging on his every word.

Mr. D: I’m sure we will be, Franklin.

The voice of the Chairman can be heard through the speaker.

Frankie: Prepare to be BLOWN…..away. If there was ever ANY doubt that I deserved this job, you’re about to slap yourselves with baby powdered palms….

Mr. D: Like I ever COULD challenge your standing as Advisor to the President.

Confused….

But Frankie’s follow up quest for clarity will have to wait till later. Paradise is illuminated by the headlights that belong to the stretch limousine pulling into the Amway Center’s enclosed parking facility.

Frankie: HEHE! Heeeeee’s heeeeeerrreeee.

Frankie actually leaves his feet, leaping into the air and clicking his heels together before rushing along to the car.

Frankie: Prepare yourselves for the BIGGEST moment in IWC history….

The chauffer is passed without even a second glance, although the husky gentleman is trying to say something Paradise gives him not one second of attention, focused entirely on the back door to the limo. Only occasionally does he turn to acknowledge the camera that follows.

Frankie: Try to remember where you were on this night….when Frankie Paradise revealed the biggest free agent signing EVAH…..

The door handle is grabbed.

Frankie: Take a seat peeps, and remove your socks, cause you’re about to get weak kneed and your leggings are about to be blown off….

The suspense ends as Paradise swings the door open.

Frankie: Everyone welcome the individual I personally signed….they ARE…..shit.

There is NO ONE in the backseat….the limo is completely empty….The fully stocked bar hasn’t been touched, and there are no ass grooves worked into the leather cushions.

Frankie: Da’ fuck?

Finally the chauffer is given Frankie’s attention.

Frankie: Where is he?

Clearly the hefty fella is taking too long to answer, hence why his collar is grabbed and his back is slammed against the door….Paradise losing it….especially when he has the Board tuning in, following his every movement.

Chauffer: I’m….I’m sorry….but he didn’t want the limo.

Frankie: What do you mean you porky son of a bitch!?! Did you tell him there were free booze and Cheetos waiting for him inside?

Chauffer: Yes….YES SIR….but he still wouldn’t get in the limo….said something about it being too small.

Frankie: Too small….Too FRACKN SMALL!?! It’s the biggest one I could get…I had to totes dig into the Board of Directors’ expense account just so I could afford it.

Chauffer: He said he thought he deserved better, that it should have been a stretch Humvee or something like that…..So he hailed a taxi and told me to tell you that he’ll get here when he gets here.

Frankie: WHAT? Why that prima donna!

The collar and tie of the chauffer is released as Frankie throws an absolute hissy fit.

Frankie: I spared no expense for his arrival tonight and THIS is how I’m repaid? Has he any idea how long I had to work at manipulating that group of ass-hats known as the Board of Directors into signing him?…

Mr. D: Ahem?

Frankie’s face suddenly loses all pigment….going from fiery red to whiter than snowflakes. Reluctantly his eyes turn to the I-Phone still in his palm and still providing a line of communication between himself and the Board of Directors.

Frankie: Oh balls.

The phone finally hangs up…but not of Frankie’s own volition.

WHERE IS SHE!?!

The phone slips from Frankie’s palm and bursts on the floor….but it might not be the last thing that is busted…considering that Alana Starr presently has her hands around Paradise’s throat and is forcing him spine first into the backdoor of the car.

Alana: Where are you hiding Brittany?

Frankie is almost too petrified to even speak….eyes wider than serving trays.

Frankie: Hey…take your hands off my swag.

The leather jacket is not released but instead used to pull Paradise in closer….until he feels the heat of her breath beating down his neck….a neck that could be seconds away from being snapped like a pencil.

Alana: You’ve been protecting Brittany for weeks now….constantly finding ways to keep me away from her….but not anymore….NOT ANYMORE….I will go through the entire roster to get to Lohan….not you…or anyone else is going to keep me from eliminating her….

Frankie: Fair enough…

Alana: But she’s got to be in the match first….I’ve got to make sure she can’t run away again…..And you’re gonna make sure that happens.

Frankie: Listen swee….

Alana: No….YOU listen….I’m NOT about to wait any longer…Lohan will be mine….and no one is going to protect her….especially not YOU.

Attention turns from the grimacing mug of Paradise to the limo.

Alana: Is that where you’re hiding her, huh?

It takes a moment for Frankie to realize that the limo is being referenced.

Frankie: The limo? That’s crazy talk….

Alana: It be just like the two of you to conspire to have Lohan hiding in the parking lot waiting to get her hands on me again….But I’m not falling for it….not this time….COME ON LOHAN!

Frankie would normally be relieved to be shoved aside and out of harm’s way….but instead he’s more horrified than ever when he sees Alana approaching the limo, moving straight to the trunk.

Alana: Is this where he’s keeping you?

The unlocked trunk is popped open and nothing but a tire iron and a spare is revealed inside….no calculating Lohan waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey.

Alana: Are you enjoying yourself, Lohan? Kicking back in the lap of luxury? Maybe your limo needs to be a bit better ventilated.

The tire iron is removed from the trunk which Starr climbs on top of.

Frankie: She’s not in there, Alana, I swear…..

She doesn’t listen to anything other than the furious voices in her head as she straddles the rear windshield and pulls back the tire iron.

Frankie: No….don’t do it….I had to rent that limo from the Board’s expense account….NO!

There is no room for reason, the tire iron swinging down right into the windshield and bursting it into hundreds of fragments.

Frankie: What are you doing!?!

Alana: Come on Lohan…get out of there.

The sunroof is shattered, raining down glass on the empty backseat.

Frankie: Stop….for the love of God….STOP!

Starr steps across the roof of the limo and begins to shatter the front windshield…repeatedly slamming the tire iron against it.

Alana: Where is she….where is she!?!

Kathryn: Best butt….

Ivy: Hmmmm….that’s a toughie….I’m gonna ssaaaaayyy….Gavin Taylor…

Kathryn: Really?

Ivy: What? He’s got a great booty.

Kathryn: I’m going with Andre Jordan on this one.

In spite of the tremendous pain coursing through Yvonne’s neck she survives….with the use of the warm towel draped over her shoulders….and with the aid of Kathryn keeping her mind off her present ailments.

Kathryn: Best hair?

The two stroke their jaws in contemplation and exchange a drawn out stare…faced with a truly tough decision this time.

Kathyrn: Marcus Mayfield has a terrific fro.

Ivy: Yeah….but come on…the answer for this one is actually pretty obvious once you think about it.

Kathryn: Huh?

Ivy: How can you possibly look past Bob’s tremendous wiggy?

Kathryn: Good point….alright….best eyes?

Yvonne stops pacing the claustrophobic confines of the dressing room in order to stop and think this one over.

Ivy: Hurse…..that one eye is gorgeous.

Kathryn: I’m going with Marcus on this one again…..he’s just got a perfect everything.

Ivy: Katie and Marcus sitting in a tree…..F-U-C-….

Kathryn: Don’t eeeeeveeeen….

Hey girls…

No make-up….no elaborate hair preparation….no fashionable attire….Dawn Lohan has been stripped of it all….not camera-ready in her hoodie and sweat pants. She lingers in the doorway, peeking in on the two before daring to enter.

Kathryn: DAWN!

Across the room dashes Pearson, taking Dawn’s wrist and leading her in inside.

Kathryn: I didn’t think you were going to be here.

Dawn: I really didn’t want to be….but I thought I’d come and try to talk you out of this match against Sophia tonight.

Kathryn: Dawn….she hurt you….and vicariously she hurt us too.

Ivy: You know we’ve got your back.

Pain and anguish are not unfamiliar feelings for Lohan….enduring more than her fair share of heartache and humiliation. It’s kind of her life story…but somehow she’s maintained a somewhat cautiously optimistic demeanor…..up until this point. Not even her best friends can seemingly dredge her from her despair.

Dawn: I just don’t want you girls to have to fight my battles for me.

Ivy: This isn’t just YOUR battle though.

Kathryn: Like I said, when you’re hurting, we’re hurting. And it’s not like Sophie has exactly endeared herself to me over Twitter. We had some pretty choice words for one another….and I’m going to show Sophie that she can’t hide behind her I-Phone.

Dawn: I really appreciate you all standing by me and everything….

Ivy: Like there was ever any doubt, hon.

Kathryn: We’d never abandon you when you need us the most.

Dawn: Don’t feel bad if you do….pretty much everyone else in my life has.

Ivy: We’re not going anywhere, Hon.

One of Dawn’s hands are latched onto by Yvonne, and the other is latched onto by Kathryn. The three showing unity…..pun perhaps intended.

Kathryn: Yeah, who else is going to wake us up at 7AM for coffee? And really now, Dawn, who is going to make us a nice home-cooked meal? You can’t subject me to Yvonne’s baking.

Ivy: Yeah…wait….HEEEEY!

A grinning Pearson takes Yvonne’s hand at this point and pats her on the knuckles.

Kathryn: Only kidding, dear.

When Yvonne turns away, Kathryn mouths the words ‘no I’m not’ to a smiling Lohan. Yes….somehow the pair has managed to bring a grin to Dawn’s face even after all the hardships she’s faced in recent weeks. But that grin waivers when a knock comes at a door and Amanda Blayze enters without invitation.

Blayze: Ladies.

In she steps with no worry of retaliation. The audacity of her bold entrance leaves Kathryn and Dawn more than a little frazzled.

Kathryn: Ummm….excuse me….But just what in the hell do you think you’re doing here?

Ivy: Relax Doll…I invited her.

Kathryn: YOU WHAT?

Normally Pearson would wholly trust her BFF and mentor….but even she has to question Knight’s logic here.

Kathryn: Are you forgetting what she did to Ashley these past few weeks?

Ivy: And that’s exactly why I called her….so we can get all that cleared up.

Kathryn: What is there to clear up? The bitch almost broke Ashley’s nose.

Blayze: Back up….

Amanda requests Kathryn do this both literally and metaphorically…actually putting a palm dangerously close to the chest of the encroaching Pearson….uncomfortable with the violation of her personal space.

Blayze: I didn’t put a finger on Ashley at NewAge….

Ivy: Amanda, I hate to think the worse of someone, and I’d really like to believe you’re genuine, but we did find THIS….

From her bag a cellular phone is removed….Yvonne showing the incriminating evidence that was discovered within the room where ‘someone’ waited to pounce upon an unsuspecting Chase.

Blayze: MY PHONE!

With eagerness the phone is taken away from Yvonne, Amanda scrolling through the text messages to see how many have accumulated.

Blayze: Thanks for keeping it charged for me.

Kathryn: So you don’t even deny that it’s yours?

Blayze: No….why would I?

Ivy: Because we did kind of find it at the scene of the crime.

Blayze: Oh….well then let me put your minds at ease….my phone was stolen back on Riot!

Kathryn: How convenient.

The last thing they were anticipating was a yawn in response to these damning accusations.

Blayze: Listen girls….I’m really starting to get bored with all of this….and it’s taking my focus off what’s important, winning the Rumble tonight and moving on to challenge your gal-pal, Taylor Chase for the World Heavyweight Championship. I mean….why should I even care what you all think of me?

In spite of having no idea what’s going on, Dawn has apparently been thrown in with the lot. This entices her to shrug and point towards Pearson and Knight, insinuating that she has NOTHING do with any of this.

Kathryn: Because this WOMAN….

A hand finds its way to Yvonne’s shoulder.

Kathryn:..went out on a limb for you. She’s been buttering you up for weeks now, telling Taylor and I why we should take a gamble and accept you into Unity.

Blayze: Did I ever ask her to do that? NO. And did I ever once say that I wanted to be part of Unity? NO.

Yvonne holds Pearson back…about to fight another battle on behalf of her wounded friends.

Blayze: I’ve made my desires pretty damn clear….I want to be champion….and 2014 will see me holding the gold….and it could very well be at the expense of your friend, Taylor Chase. So I don’t think Amanda Blayze being part of Unity, jives very well with my ambitions.

Kathryn: Good….because you’ve definitely shown that you’re NOT Unity material. We don’t go around attacking people from behind and ambushing them when their guard is down.

Ivy: Be fair Katie….our evidence is purely circumstantial….we can’t condemn her based on nothing but a cell-phone.

Kathryn: Well it sounds to me like she’s trying to use Ashley to get into Taylor’s head.

Not a yawn….but a sigh this time….Amanda getting more and more annoyed with every second that passes.

Blayze: You know…this isn’t the first time I’ve been wrongfully accused….Brittany Lohan and Cassidy Haze have been pulling people’s strings left and right….playing us like puppets. Who’s to say they weren’t responsible for this? I mean….my phone DID go missing right after Cassidy attacked me while I was on commentary….it was sitting right there on the announce table prime for the picking.

Ivy: That could be true, Kate…

Kathryn: Yeah….it COULD….but why take any chances believing this…

Blayze: You want to be very careful with what you say to me.

Now its Amanda who steps a little too close for Kathryn’s comfort.

Ivy: Ladies PLEASE!

Yvonne plays buffer….stepping between the two before things can explode into violence.

Ivy: If Dark Legacy really is behind this….then you two are doing exactly what they want.

Clearly Amanda and Kathryn need to take a second and let cooler heads prevail before they become just what Blayze insinuated they were being played as…puppets.

Amanda: You know what….I’m done with this….I’ve got bigger things to worry about rather than making the popular clique happy. Yvonne….

She turns to Ivy.

Amanda: I appreciate you believing in me….BUT….it’s obvious that there’s no way I can coexist with your friends….If we can’t have trust….then there’s no way we can have Unity.

Words are directed to Ivy, but her eyes are locked solely upon Pearson.

Amanda: I look forward to seeing you in the ring tonight, Yvonne. The two of us could tear the house down if we cross paths in the Rumble.

Ivy: Yeah.

The room is exited by Blayze, who NEVER takes her eyes off of Kathryn even as she leaves.

Kathryn: Honestly Ivy….you wanted THAT to be in our group?

Ivy: She’s got some good virtues….

Kathryn: Ivy….baby….I think you’re a pretty lousy judge of character.

Ivy: Maybe you’re right….would explain why we’re friends.

Kathryn: Exactl…..HEEEEY!

Gunner Bryant: What are the odds?

Layla: This couldn’t have worked out any better for us if we had planned it.

It seems to be shit on Gunner and Layla month….after having faced several weeks of misfortunes….they’ve been presented with some extremely bad news

Gunner: Number 9 and 10…..Seriously?

They overlook the numbers they selected from the very tumbler that is still present in the room just behind Gunner’s back.

Layla: Could work out to our advantage.

Gunner: Ya’ think?

Smiles form on their faces. But one individual who doesn’t have a grin is Greyson….realizing that he and Sparkles are tasked with interviewing these two young up and comers. They stand back as Greyson tries to find the courage to let Sparkles speak to another human being….especially when one of those human beings happens to possess breasts.

Greyson: Can you PLEASE try to behave yourself this time?

Sparkles: I make no promises.

Greyson: I’m begging you.

Sparkes: Alright…alright….you’re pathetic when you grovel. I’ll be cool….but only if that chick over there can keep from throwing herself at me like all the ladies on this roster do.

A condescending eye-roll.

Greyson: SUUURREE Sparkles….SUURRREEE!

Sparkles: Blame yourself, you’re the one who made me this damned sexy.

The two finally move in to question Layla and Gunner regarding their participation in tonight’s main event….probably the last main event they’ll ever be involved in….But only get a step or two before Greyson finds his wrist grabbed from behind. He is then spun around and the puppet is torn right off of his hand.

Sparkles: OOOOH FUCKS TO THE NO!

Sparkles finds himself dangling limply from the microphone taped to his hand and presently gripped within the palm of Mika Kozlov.

Mika: Camera….on me….NOW!

Greyson desperately steps in to help his puppet caught in this precarious predicament only to receive a kick right to the belly. The shot doubles the correspondent over and eventually puts him down to his knees….Sparkles now hangs there with no salvation in sight…..But Kozlov can care less about the plight of the puppet or his ventriloquist….addressing the camera and the camera alone.

Mika: Taylor….do you think this is over…..NO!….It’ll never be over, not until you’re broken body lies at my feet, full of fractured bones and shattered dreams. Dreams not unlike my own that that you’ve managed to turn into nightmares all of our lives. But now….I’m YOUR nightmare, Taylor….and you’re in a dream you will NEVER wake up from.

Kozlov flashes a truly uncharacteristic display of anger in its rawest and most natural form.

Mika: You stole all of my dreams, Taylor….dreams of having a family….dreams of being a beloved daughter….dreams of being adored by all….well I’m not about to let you keep killing my dreams…I will see my greatest fantasy become reality….The Blacklist will have their vengeance….and it’ll happen in two weeks on Riot.

A shocking revelation that is given little time to gestate.

Mika: I’ll win the Rumble tonight, yes, and then go on to take that World Championship away from you….but in two weeks it won’t be about the title….it’ll be about ME hurting YOU….in a Singapore Canes Are Legal Match! Prepare yourself, Malishka….for your whole world is about to burn!

The crowd is understandably stunned to hear that they’re finally going to see it one way or another…..Taylor Chase versus Mika Kozlov….Singapore Canes Are Legal….in one of the biggest grudge matches in IWC history.

After making this statement the microphone is spiked…with the largely ignored Sparkles going down along with it….Thankfully Greyson makes a diving catch from his knees, Sparkles landing right in his open palms. Though his gut is hurting him, Greyson manages to pull the puppet in and find himself truly thankful that no harm befell Sparkles.

Greyson: Sparkles…Sparkles….are you okay? Talk to me….talk to me.

Sparkles doesn’t say anything, prompting Greyson to do mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Greyson: Please Sparkles! I swear….she’s gonna pay if she hurt you….She’s gonna PAY!

KATHRYN PEARSON VS SOPHIE JAMES

Dollar: Sparkles and Greyson constantly getting themselves into trouble.

Susie: If It’s not paternity suits it’s something else.

Dollar: Up next folks is a grudge match that I believe came about due to arguments on twitter, between Kathryn Pearson, who was of course crowned the new X-Class Champion two weeks ago on Riot, and a former employee of Aires Allocco backed company Majestic Wrestling, a young woman called Sophie James

Susie: A woman who until recently was sleeping with SCW employee Dawn Lohan, who has been sleeping with Kathryn Pearson if Sophie’s blog from earlier is to be believed… so many women sleeping with one another Johnny, it’s enough to send a girl crosseyed.

Dollar: So many female orgasm jokes… but lets keep this professional for now folks!

We cut from the commentary table to the entrance way as the lights in the arena cut completely and “It’s A Fight” by Three 6 Mafia hits the speaker system. Strobe lights on the stage flicker as images of the city of Detroit flashes up on the screen. As the song kicks in, smoke begins to spill out from the side of the stage, the arena’s lights rising back up as the a few small pyro’s explode.

“We gon hit em wit da left, hit em wit da right
We gon hit em wit da left, hit em wit da right
It’s a fight it’s a fight head bust ’em head bust ’em
It’s a fight it’s a fight head bust ’em head bust ’em”

As the lights hit, the crowd realise Sophie James is now stood on the stage. Sophie throws the hood of her hooded top back before throwing her arms out wide and the crowd begin to boo a little, most of whom have read her words about Kathryn Pearson earlier in the day.

Thomas Boll: Lady and Gentlfolk, from Detroit of Motor City in state of Michigan, at 54.8847 kilos of weight! She The Motor City Bitch…SOPHIE JAMES!!!!”

With a smirk, Sophie suddenly bursts down the ramp, jumping up and sliding leg first under the bottom rope before leaping up and ascending the turnbuckles and once again throwing her arms out on both sides. Hopping down, Sophie does the same on the opposite side of the ring before dropping down again and sitting in the corner, her arms draped across the bottom rope on either side of her as she waits for the start of the match.

Susie: Ooh, she’s a hottie!

Dollar: And a pretty good wrestler from the stats I managed to pull from google before we went on air. Not exactly a long history, but she has ten wins to her name with only three losses, and you could argue that she’s the more experienced here tonight…

Susie: But Kathryn has a shiny belt, what’s Sophie James got?

Dollar: A shiny belt too Susie. It says here that she retired from Majestic undefeated as Heritage champion, so I guess this is champion versus champion tonight. Unofficially of course…

Susie: Oh… then hooray for equality!

As Sophie settles back in the ring, the cameras cut back to the stage just in time for the arena’s houselights to cut as purple spot lights begin to flicker on and off around the stage and the opening chords of “Rip Out The Wings of a Butterfly” by H.I.M hits the speaker system. As the drums kick in, the fans realise that the slender figure of a woman stands on the stage in the middle of the flickering spotlights with her back to the crowd. As the song kicks in properly the figure turns around, bends and slaps the floor before shooting upright and throwing her arms out wide as sparks fall from the rafters above. The house lights raise slightly to reveal the woman as Kathryn Pearson. Kathryn has a huge smile on her face because of the cheering from the fans before turning her attention to the ring, the smile disappearing as she glares at Sophie.

Thomas Boll: On way to ring, by way of Malibu, California and now fighting from–

The ring announcer doesn’t get to finish as Kath literally bolts for the bottom of the ramp, sliding into the ring and immediately hopping back to her feet to charge at Sophie, but the redhead quickly gets the hell out of dodge quicker than a jackrabbit down a hole. Kathryn tries to kick out at the ropes but the kick doesn’t even come anywhere near as Kathryn looks down at her on the outside, smirking.

Dollar: Kathryn Pearson wasting NO time here and we may just have a real catfight on our hands here folks!

Susie: Ooh, I like cats. Have you seen that video with the cat playing a keyboard? That’s my favourite!

Dollar: Wrong kind of cats Susie.

Susie: Oh. Were you talking about a woman’s pus–

Dollar: “Anyway folks, it looks like our official Ms. Blacker is trying to gain control of this one, so lets take a look shall we?

In the ring, the referee Blacker has positioned herself between Kathryn and the ropes and has ordered Kathryn to back up. She does so grudgingly, allowed Blacker to turn her attention to Sophie on the outside, ordering her to climb back into the ring. Sophie simply smirks before continue to wander around at ringside, ignoring the official, who’s powerless to do anything about it as the match hasn’t even officially started.

Dollar: Sophie James refusing to climb into the ring and this may not even get started unless the official can the Motor City Bitch back in there.”

Susie: But she’s a fire crotch Johnny; they’re naturally feisty! She’ll climb back in there, you better believe she will!

The crowd get on Sophie’s back, booing as she continues to pace at ringside smirking as Kathryn yells at her to bring it on. Sophie walks towards the ring finally, jumping up as if to enter before dropping back down and laughing to herself as she paces around the ring again, getting a fresh wave of boos from the crowd. Eventually however, Blacker grows frustrated and leans over the ropes, shouting at Sophie.

Blacker: You’d better get back into this ring right now or I’ll disqualify you from this match, so make a damn decision!

Ironically, it’s Kathryn who begins to complain almost straight away, telling the referee that she can’t throw the match out. The referee ignores her pleading and simply looks at Sophie, who rolls her eyes and waves away the claim before continuing on around the ring to the bottom of the ramp where she starts to walk back towards the stage. The crowd continue to boo like made only to cheer as Kathryn slides out of the ring and chases after Sophie, grabbing her by the neck and turning her back towards the ring, half dragging half throwing her back in before following after her and Blacker immediately calls for the bell as Kathryn climbs on Sophie and starts hitting her with a series of rights and lefts, the crowd jumping up to their feet cheering as Kath just continues to unleash on the redhead, who does her best to cover up.

Dollar: And Kathryn Pearson just UNLEASHING on Sophie James here folks, letting out some SERIOUS frustration!

Susie: If she keeps this up, Sophie’s face is going to be as red as her hair! From the blood!

In the ring, the Blacker pulls Kathryn off of Sophie and orders her to the corner, leaving Sophie to scrabble away to try and regain her composure. Blacker gives Kathryn a stern look before moving over to check on Sophie, who’s frantically checking for signs of blood on her face with the back of her hand. The official checks on Sophie for signs of blood and is happy that there is none, but before she can even take a step back to let the match continue, Sophie pushes her out of the way and flys across the ring, spearing Kathryn down to the canvas and the two women start rolling around in the ring throwing punches, clawing at one another and generally just trying to kill the other! The crowd are on their feet as the women continue to trade who’s winning the canfight in the middle of the ring before Sophie managed to get the upper hand by rolling onto Kathryn and grabbing her head with both hands before lifting it and slamming it back down into the canvas. Rolling to her feet, Sophie reaches down and grabs Kathryn by the hair, lifting her up and whipping her into turnbuckles chest first before spinning her round and pushing her back into the corner as she unleashing a series of hard rights.

Dollar: And Kathryn Pearson now taking one hell of a beating here in a complete reversal from how we began tonight!

Susie: Yay! The fire-crotch is taking this right to the X-Class champion now and she’s on fire… not literally of course, she’s just a ginger!

Back in the ring, Kathryn sags in the corner a little as Sophie throws the final punch before turning around and raising her arms in the air, drawing a round of boos from the crowd. The cheers pick up again however when Kathryn steps back up, grabbing hold of Sophie and tossing HER back into the corner before unleashing a series of vicious knife edge chops right to Sophie’s chest, each one lifting her off her feet a little. After the fifth knife edge, Blacker steps in and orders Kathryn to bring it out of the corner and the brunette does just that by hooking under Sophie’s arm, lifting her up and over with a hiptoss that leaves Sophie in the middle of the ring. Kathryn takes a step back and waits, wiggling her fingers as she yells at Sophie to get back up. Sophie rolls to her knees before pushing up and turning, only to stumble right into Kathryn, who places her in a side headlock, synching in the hold. Kathryn does her best to apply pressure, but Sophie manages to get her weight behind her, pushing Kathryn off and into the ropes. Kathryn bounces off the ropes but keeps it together and runs back at Sophie, taking her down with a quick clothesline. Kathryn turns and runs at the ropes and as she bounces off, Sophie rolls onto her front causing Kath to jump over her and run at the ropes on the far side of the ring. As Kathryn bounces off, Sophie quickly jumps up and attempts to use Kath’s momentum to lift her up and over with a hiptoss of her own, but Kathryn slams on the brakes. Sophie tries again to lift her, having about as much luck as Sparkles trying to lift Bob so she swaps tactics and looks to spin around with a discuss clothesline only for Kathryn to duck the move and quickly roll Sophie up.

One…

Tw–NO!

Dollar: First pin attempt goes to our X-Class champion but she doesn’t even manage a two count here against the former Majestic Heritage champion.

Susie: Come on Sophie! GO Sophie!

Sophie kicks out with authority and both women quickly roll to their feet. Sophie turns around, only for Kathryn to grab her and take her over with an arm drag, keeping pressure on the arm as she applies an armbar, Blacker dropping down to check on her, looking for signs of submission. Kathryn pulls Sophie to her feet, keeping the armbar locked in, twisting underneath the arm to apply yet more pressure but as she straightens up again, Sophie twists her arm free and grabs Kathryn’s arm in turn, twisting under the arm to apply an armbar before twisting under it a second time and yanking, forcing Kathryn to almost double over under the pressure on the arm. Just when things are looking up for Sophie though, Kathryn rolls forward and through the hold before kipping up to her feet. Kathryn grabs Sophie’s arm and applies another armbar, twisting under it once, twice, three times before hitting a hard elbow to the shoulder followed by a second. The third elbow drives Sophie to her knees but Kathryn quickly twists under the arm again before dropping down to the canvas to jar the arm once again.

Dollar: Kathryn Pearson has come far under the tutelage of her tag partner Yvonne Knight, something of a technical wrestling specialist. Working away at Sophie’s arm like she is will cause the Detroit-born redhead problems later in the match!

Susie: All she’s doing is the same move over and over Johnny… booooooooring! COME ON SOPHIE!

Kathryn keeps hold of the wrist and pulls Sophie to her feet, pushing Sophie back into the ropes before looking for an Irish whip, but Sophie manages to reverse the whip, sending Kathryn crashing into the ropes instead and as she bounces back off them, Sophie takes her down with a drop toe hold that drives Kathryn face-first into the canvas. Kathryn rolls over, holding her face in pain as Sophie gets back up to her feet, slipping her knees on either side of Kathryn’s body before throwing punch after punch to the back of Kath’s head. The referee steps in, trying to get Sophie to stop but she ignores her, so Blacker begins a five count.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Sophie lets up JUST before the five, swinging one leg back off Kathryn before dragging her up using her hair once again. Pulling her head back from behind by her hair, Sophie steps through the ropes so she’s on the outside, with Kath’s back pressed against the ropes in front of her. Sophie lifts her hand up before bringing it down open palmed hard onto Kathryn’s chest. Kath stumbles forward, trying to catch her breath as Sophie climbs back through the ropes and grabs hold of Kath, trying to send her across the ring, but Kathryn counters and sends Sophie across instead. Bouncing off the ropes, Sophie runs back at Kathryn, who goes for a clothesline to take the redhead down but Sophie ducks under, grabbing the arm head and dropping Kathryn with a running neckbreaker, floating over for the pin attempt.

1…

2…

Kickout!!!

Dollar: Sophie James managing a two count but it’s not enough to put Kathryn away here.

Susie: Come on Sophie, hit her again!

Sophie slaps the canvas in frustration before grabbing a hand full of hair, lifting Kathryn back to her feet again. Sophie grabs Kathryn by the air, lifting it and twisting underneath it before slipping an arm around her shoulder and hooking the leg with her own foot, falling back with a Russian leg sweep, rolling over to look for the pin again.

1…

2…

NO!

Kathryn fires the shoulder up with authority at two, frustrating Sophie James no end! Blacker holds up two fingers showing it was a two count, and the crowd start to get behind Pearson. Sophie doesn’t react well and again reaches down to grab a hand full of Kathryn’s hair, pulling her up to her feet. Keeping hold of her hair with one hand, Sophie grabs Kathryn’s shoulder with the other and runs her into the turnbuckles. Keeping hold, she turns around and runs the brunette into the corner on the other side of the ring before pulling her around and stomping away at Kathryn’s stomach. The referee runs over and tries to order Sophie away as the redhead continues to stomp away at Kathryn’s midsection, leaving Blacker no choice but to start counting again.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Sophie pulls away at four and grabs Kathryn’s wrist, launching her across the ring into the far corner before stepping back and pushing off the ropes to gain extra momentum as she runs at Kathryn, jumping up looking for a big splash but there’s nobody home as Kathryn ducks out of the way and Sophie crashes chest first into the turnbuckles. Kathryn reaches up and grabs Sophie, rolling her up looking for the pin and Blacker drops down to make the count.

1…

2…NO!

Susie: Yes! Sophie James still in this thing Johnny; boy I hope somebody signs this woman to a permanent contract here, she’s fun!

Dollar: Kathryn Pearson with a close two count but still nowhere near close enough to end this thing.

Both Kathryn and Sophie roll to their knees before pushing up. Sophie goes for a clothesline, but Kathryn ducks and looks for a backslide, managing to lift Sophie up and over but the minute her shoulders touch the canvas, she rolls through and Blacker doesn’t even make it down to her knees before Sophie is back up, running at Kathryn as she gets back up, taking her down with spinning heel kick. Sophie rolls straight over and knees across Kathryn, hammering away with the right hands again. The referee warns her off before starting to count yet again.

1…

2…

3…

At three, Sophie raises her hands, showing the official she’s given up before stepping up and grabbing a fistful of hair again, lifting Kathryn and dragging her over to the corner. Sophie forces Kathryn’s throat down onto the middle rope and pressed her weight down against the back of Kath’s head as the official starts another count.

1…

2…

3…

Sophie actually starts jumping up and down for extra momentum before released Kath at four. Grabbing her hair, Sophie stands behind Kathryn and wraps an arm around her throat before backing up into the corner and climbing up to sit on the top turnbuckle before pulling back, lifting Kathryn off of her feet as she chokes her once again. And just like last time, Blacker begins another count.

1…

2…

3…

4…

Sophie releases the hold, innocently holding her hands up once again stopping the referee mid count. The minute Blacker stops counting though, Sophie grabs hold of Kathryn and goes back to choking her once again, only to let go before Blacker can even start to count a further time. The referee warns Sophie about disqualification as Sophie stands up and grabs hold of Kathryn’s head before jumping forward and slamming Kathryn down with a bulldog from the second rope. Sophie rolls over and makes the cover.

1…

2…

3…NO!

Dollar: Kathryn Pearson shooting the shoulder up JUST before the three count and this isn’t over yet folks!

Susie: I wonder if Kathryn will feel as foolish as the semi-shaved head makes her look when she wakes up tomorrow having lost her first singles match to someone who doesn’t even work in this company, Johnny?

Dollar: That’s if she loses, Susie.

Susie: If? IF?! Are we even watching the same match?! Ugh…

Frustrated, Sophie grabs Kathryn and lifts her up again. Sophie launches Kathryn into the ropes, standing in the middle of the ring as she waits for Kathryn to come back from them. Kathryn bounces off and Sophie looks for a clothesline but Kath ducks under the arm and bounces off the ropes on the other side. Running back to the middle, Kathryn leaps up, taking Sophie down with a crossbody. Kathryn rolls to her knees and stands back waiting for Sophie to get to her feet before swinging her leg around, catching Sophie with a spinning heel kick as Sophie runs right at her. Kathryn drops down and goes for the cover.

1…

2…

NO!

Sophie shoots the shoulder up and Kathryn looks a little dejected as she rolls away but doesn’t let up, immediately pulling Sophie up to her feet. Kathryn looks for the irish whip but Sophie reverses it, whipping Kathryn into the ropes instead. Sophie doubles over waiting for Kathryn to bounce back from the ropes, but as Kathryn comes back, she rolls over Sophie’s back before hooking the head and drilling her with a ddt, spiking her head straight down into the canvas!

Dollar: Floatover ddt! That’s one of Kathryn Pearson’s signature moves folks and this could be over!

Susie: NO! No no no no NO!!!

Rolling Sophie over onto her back, Kathryn hooks the leg.

1…

2…

3…NO!!!

Sophie manages to kick out once again, JUST before the three, leaving Kathryn particularly shocked as she rolls to a knee, pushing her hair out of her face as she kneels there breathing heavily. Sophie rolls over, holding her head in pain before pushing up to all fours. Kathryn leaps up, runs past Sophie and jumps onto the middle rope, pushing off and turning around midair to stomp both feet down onto Sophie’s back, pushing Sophie back down to the canvas as she rolls forward and back to her feet. Jumping up, Kathryn grabs Sophie and lifts her up. Grabbing her by the head, she throws the redhead down with a snapmare that leaves Sophie sat up straight on the canvas. With no hesitation, Kathryn nails Sophie in the back with a stiff kick that leaves the former Majestic star arching his back in pain as Kathryn forces her down to go for the pin again.

1…

2…Kickout!!!

Dollar: Just a two count this time folks; Sophie James showing quite a bit of determination here!

Susie: That’s because she has the power of the fire-crotch Johnny! All hail the ginger!

Kathryn gets to her feet, stumbling a little before turning to see Sophie getting up. Kathryn steps forward only for Sophie to punch her square in the midsection. Kathryn doubles up as Sophie climbs to her feet, grabbing Kathryn by the hair before walking over towards the ropes. With Kath still winded, Sophie grabs two fists full of hair before literally jumping through the middle and top ropes to the outside, pulling Kath down neck first onto the middle rope as she half drags her through them when exiting the ring. Sophie lets go just before she lands on the outside, and Kath collapses to the canvas, holding her throat. Blacker leans over the ropes and begins to lecture Sophie, telling her to get back in the ring but Sophie just waves her orders away with the flick of her wrist before reaching under the ropes and grabbing Kathryn by the hair, pulling her to the outside. The referee Blacker starts yelling at Sophie to bring it back inside but Sophie ignores her, lifting Kathryn from her knees and whipping her into the barricade in one swift motion. The crowd begin to boo loudly as Sophie smirks, turning and putting the boots to Kathryn for good measure. The referee starts counting in the ring as Sophie continues to put the boots to Kathryn, but as she nears the 8 count, Sophie steps over to the ring and slides half way into the ring before sliding back out again to break the count. Walking back over to Kathryn, she lifts her to her feet before turning and throwing her into the side of the ring back first, her body arching in pain as she falls to one knee. The referee has started counting again but Sophie breaks the count yet again before lifting Kathryn and dragging her, before throwing her into the steps, sending Kath shoulder first into the side of them, knocking them away from the ring.

Dollar: Sophie James is going to town on our X-Class champion right now, and looking at her I’m not sure she can take much more of this…

Susie: Someone should come out and throw in the towel for her… or maybe a brick? Yeah, that works!

Sophie smiles as she turns her back on Kath, walking past a few of the jeering fans on the front before turning and running at Kathryn, presumedly looking for a knee to the skull, but Kath somehow jumps up and manages to hit a drop toe hold, driving Sophie face first into the lower half of the steel steps. The referee looks at the carnage, both women down, and goes back to counting once again.

1…

2…

3…

Kathryn begins to stir and a second later, as the referee reached 4, Sophie does too. She pushes up to her knees and crawls towards the ring apron, while Sophie uses the lower half of the steel steps to push up to her knees and she too starts crawling towards the ring.

5…

6…

7…

Kathryn manages to pull herself up to her feet, holding onto the bottom rope to steady herself as she heaves herself up and into the ring. Sophie meanwhile, is clinging to the ringpost, still trying to shake off the effects of the steel steps.

8…

9…

Sophie finally manages to get her feet up underneath her and she drags herself into the ring JUST in time to break up the 10 count, leaving both women down on the canvas. Just as the referee is about to start counting again though, Kathryn rolls over and throws an arm over Sophie’s chest.

1…

2…

3…NO!!!

Susie: Yay! Sophie managing to kick out in the nick of time here guys and holy smokes is this proving to be one hell of a match!

Dollar: I have to give Kathryn her dues, she very nearly came through the other side of that onslaught with the pinfall, Sophie JUST kicking out before the three.

Back in the ring, both women are somehow up to their knees, Sophie clinging to the turnbuckles to pull herself up while Kathryn holds onto the ropes doing the same. Kathryn pushes herself up from the ring and stumbles backwards and it almost looks like she’s about to fall over, but she maintains her balance and turns back towards the ropes, only to find her face on the end of Sophie’s foot as the Motor City Bitch nails her with the “4-Seb” superkick!!!

Dollar: OH! That’s the 4-Seb! Out of nowhere, Sophie James with the superkick and this just HAS to be all over folks! There’s no kicking out from a kick like that!

Susie: YES! Woo! Go team Fire-crotch!!!

Sophie drops down on top of Kathryn in a heap, exhausted but expecting the victory. The referee Blacker drops down to make the count.

1…

2…

3!!!

Sophie rolls over onto her back, breathing heavily, but clearly pleased as punch. After a while though, she realises her music isn’t playing and as she looks up, she sees the referee shaking her head and pointing towards the ropes. Only then do we see that Kathryn has her foot under the ropes and Sophie can’t believe it! Slamming the canvas with both hands in frustration, she rolls to her knees, clearly possessing a second wind as she pushes up to her feet and grabs Kathryn by the hair to drag her up too. She grabs Kathryn and goes to set her up for the Motor City Meltdown but from nowhere, Kathryn pushes her arms away and manages to underhook her arm to lift her up and over with the New Jersey Neckbreaker! The crowd go absolutely insane as Sophie falls to the canvas limp from the impact and Kathryn rolls over and makes the pin attempt.

1…

2…

3!!!

Susie: NO!

Dollar: She did it! Kathryn Pearson beat Sophie James and picked up the victory here and wow, what a match!

“Bullet with Butterfly Wings” hits the speakers again as Kathryn rolls off of Sophie James and onto her back. She’s breathing heavily, but has a huge smile on her face as Blacker helps her up to her feet. The crowd cheer like mad as the referee Blacker raises her hand in victory.

Dollar: Well, there’s your winner folks and what a great match we’ve just witnessed here tonight! I’d say it’s a safe bet to assume Sophie James has learned her lesson too, about who she picks fights with and–WOAH!

Dollar’s words are interrupted by Sophie James who has found her feet and clubbed Kathryn Pearson in the back of her head to take her down. The crowd boo like crazy as Kathryn collapses into a mess in the middle of the ring. Sophie smirks as she puts the boot in a couple of times before rolling out of the ring, smirking to herself as she rests back against the guardrail. In the ring, the referee is checking on Kathryn, who’s holding her head in pain a little, but the attention soon turns back to ringside where someone has rushed down the ramp!

Dollar: Holy hell, is that… is that Dawn Lohan?!

Susie: Wait, Lohan? Sister of BRITTANY Lohan?!

Dollar: Yep, and ex-girlfriend of Sophie James! What the hell is she doing here?!

<POn the outside of the ring, Dawn is now standing there ready as Sophie continues to smirk, looking into the ring. As Sophie turns around though, Dawn spears her RIGHT into the guardrails, much to the amusement of the crowd, who cheer Dawn on. Dawn throws a few right hands to Sophie’s head before pushing up and waiting for Sophie to get to one knee before drilling her in the head with the Through The Looking Glass superkick, which gets a huge pop from the IWC fans! Dawn doesn’t seem finished though, as she walks back to the barricade and asks one of the fans for a chair. One of them willingly obliges and hands Dawn a chair, which she takes before walking right over to Sophie.

Dollar: Wait, this is Dawn Lohan! What on earth is she doing, this isn’t LIKE her!

Susie: She’s going to hurt Sophie, Johnny! This isn’t fair!

Just as Susie said, it’s obvious Dawn is intent on doing some serious damage to the Motor City Bitch. She doesn’t just settle for placing the chair underneath Sophie’s head, but instead sandwiches it between the chair, opening it slightly and fitting it around her. Standing behind her, Dawn grabs both of Sophie’s arms and pulls her back, just about ready to drill her face with a curb stomp, the move she calls ‘Bitch, Please’ when Kathryn bursts out under the bottom rope and grabs Dawn, tearing her away.

Dollar: Oh thank god for that. As much as I may want to see Sophie James get what she deserves, murder isn’t the answer!

On the outside, we see Kathryn holding Dawn back, stopping her from getting to Sophie. The referee Blacker quickly moves over to remove the chair from Sophie’s head as we hear Kathryn speaking to Dawn.

Kathryn: It’s not worth it sweetie, she isn’t worth it!

Dawn suddenly realizes how far she almost went and shock hits her system all at once and she quickly pulls away from Kathryn before bolting away up the stage to the back, leaving Kathryn to look back at Sophie, simply shaking her head. Her entrance music once again plays over the PA system as Pearson staggers forward into the ropes and falls against them, looking absolutely disgusted. Her back is to the entry way at this point as Dawn pulls open the curtains and steps through them. As the curtains draw shut a figure can just be seen rushing through the gorilla position right at Dawn’s exposed back. What happens next remains a mystery thanks to the curtains coming to a complete close.

The grueling bout has ended and now Kathryn is free to celebrate. Her body is traumatized by the physicality of this brutal performance, but she manages to get her arms up above her head, overcoming physical trauma in order to celebrate the occasion.

Dollar: That match far more intense than I thought it be,

Susie: Let that be a lesson to all the trolls out there….don’t fuck with someone over Twitter.

Dollar: Kathryn making a statement on Dawn’s behalf…..getting revenge for one of her best friends.

Susie; It’s very sweet on Kathryn’s part to stand up for her friends.

Dollar: I guess that’s just the type of person that Kathryn is….she’s got a huge heart.

Susie: And huge tits to house it.

Dollar: Great point.

Susie: But what was up with Dawn Lohan’s actions after the match?

Pearson had trouble lifting her arms, so just imagine how much it bothers her to actually walk towards the ropes.

Dollar: Kathryn celebrating a….wait….what’s this all about?

Susie: Candid Camera?

The video on the screen does not relate to any type of prank…..though Pearson probably wishes she was seeing some sort of trickery over the images presently being piped into the interior of the Amway Center.

Alana: I know YOU can tell me where she is….

With tire iron in hand Alana follows her latest prey…..and no matter how fast her target manages to drag her mangled body palm over palm across the concrete…Dawn Lohan cannot escape the wrath of Alana Starr.

Alana: It doesn’t have to be this way….Dawn…..all you have to do is tell me where Brittany is.

Dawn wasn’t camera-ready earlier….but now it’s more than a lack of make-up and unfashionable attire she has to worry about….it’s the fact that she’s paying penance for her sister’s sins. She finally ends up at the edge of a flight of steps, desperately reaching up for the bannister to employ as a crutch.

Alana: Please Dawn…..just tell me….just tell me and it’ll all be over.

The only thing Dawn is concerned with, is getting away from Starr, not providing her with answers. Starr had no qualms about brutalizing Cassidy, about destroying the limo, but attacking Dawn seems to plague her, just not enough to stop. A handful of Dawn’s hair is used to lead her up to her feet.

Alana: I don’t want to hurt you….but Brittany hasn’t left me any other option. Just tell me where she is so I can end this once and for all.

Dawn: Take your hands off me!

Dawn swings around and pries her hair out of Alana’s hands in the process, but as a result she finds herself teetering on the edge of the stairwell. Arms are swung as Dawn desperately tries to maintain her footing with Alana dashing in to HELP. Eventually Dawn loses her footing though and goes tumbling down, hitting every step as she rolls to the base with a sickening thud.

Dollar: Oh no….oh God….Dawn just fell down the steps….

Susie: Did she fall….or did Alana push her?

Dollar: What does that matter? Someone get help back there…someone get help back there now!

A frozen Alana just stands there with a paralyzed expression, watching Dawn writhe at the bottom of the stairs.

Alana: Brittany…..Brittany….BRITTANY!!

Hands course through Alana’s hair, on the verge of ripping it out of her scalp.

In a hurry Kathryn rushes straight up the ramp to the backstage area….face twisted with an expression of pure terror.

Dollar: Pearson running backstage to help her friend….but Dawn is going to need much more assistance than that.

Susie: She needs medical assistance….and I don’t know if Kathryn is a trained medic or not.

Dollar: I’d let her play Doctor on me any day of the week….but that’s beside the point right now.

Pearson can’t get backstage fast enough, almost tripping over her feet in the process.

Dawn isn’t the only woman in need of medical assistance….considering the state of Katelyn Buehler’s hand. She sits on a cot in the trainer’s room….as the agitated medic puts layer upon layer of tape around her fractured fingers. The anger that Buehler feels manages to distract her from the pain.

Trainer: I’d tell you not to go out there and compete with this type of injury, but I get the feeling you’re just gonna give me one of those ‘nothing is gonna stop me from wresting’ lines I hear just about every other week.

Katelyn: You assumed correctly.

Trainer: Why do I even bother? I’m only paid thousands of dollars for my medical opinion….but nooooo….

He may be bitching, but he’s still doing his job….applying more tape to Katelyn’s swollen hand.

Hurse: You know this never would have happened….

The last thing Buehler wants is a lecture but that’s precisely what she’s getting from the eye patch wearing Hurse presently planted at her side. How he snuck up on her is a total and complete mystery to Katelyn….who probably was so immersed in revenge plots that she lost sight of everything else.

Katelyn: Ugh….hiiiii Steven.

Her greeting couldn’t be anymore thick with cynicism.

Hurse: Like I was saying….

Steven goes on with his statement undeterred by Buehler’s agitated tone.

Hurse: This wouldn’t have happened if you had accepted my offer. If you had joined Brooks and I….we could have protected you from the Coalition.

An arm extends and slides over Katelyn’s shoulders, trying to comfort her.

Hurse: But you pushed me away….

An abrupt step back and thrusting of Hurse’s arms out to his sides.

Hurse: You denied the help of the one’s who love and care about you the most. But why? What have we done to make you distrust us? Have we not always been there for you? Have we not always protected you?

Katelyn: You and I just don’t agree with your modus operandi, Steven…..you want to keep me from the World Title….I’m hell-bent on winning it….See, our priorities don’t mesh very well.

A contemplative posture is exuded by Hurse.

Hurse: I merely didn’t want you to fight for the title and fail, Katelyn….I know the effect that would have on you….and failure WOULD happen without the aid of Brooks and I? Dark Legacy and Unity would undoubtedly make sure Taylor walks away with the World Title still in her possession should you face her without help.

Katelyn: I don’t believe that….I can’t believe that….

Hurse; Believe it or don’t believe it. It’ll still happen. You will still lose to Chase…..If you choose to go down this road by yourself.

Now Katelyn is coerced into giving this ‘offer’ thought.

Hurse: But don’t worry, my friend, even if you do refuse us….Brooks and I will remain loyal to the very end. We will be there for you…..in the future….both in the long run and in the immediate.

His one eye winks in Buehler’s direction, making the implication that Buehler will not be entering the Rumble tonight without back-up…..as if she already didn’t have enough aid promised from the Black Crusade.

Porno Lad: Oh God….Katie….are you okay?

In rushes both Porno Lad AND Kordelia Price….and before Buehler can defend herself, she’s grabbed and dragged off the cot into a huge hug.

Porno Lad: Poor baby.

The squeeze is broken so that Porno Lad can take the wrist of her presumably fractured hand and overlook it.

Porno Lad: What did they do to you?

Katelyn: Take your hands off of me.

Buehler pulls her wrist right out of Porno Lad’s clutches and steps back from his embracing arms.

Porno Lad: What gives, Baby-Cakes?

Katelyn: What gives? WHAT GIVES!?!

The question leaves her literally beside herself.

Katelyn: Ethan….have you forgotten everything you said to me these past few weeks? How you’ve treated me and everyone else on this roster? How you’ve promised to cost me my dream of becoming a World Heavyweight Champion, simply because WOMAN aren’t capable of holding gold?

Porno Lad: No….I haven’t forgotten….

He becomes far less emotional and far more stoic.

Porno Lad: But I hope you CAN forgive.

The undamaged hand is taken and pulled to Porno Lad’s lips, kissing her knuckles.

Porno Lad: I don’t admit it very often….but I….I….was wrong.

Kordelia almost has a heart attack when hearing this.

Kordy: But….

Porno Lad: No Kordy….I was wrong about Katelyn….She deserves the World Heavyweight Championship.

Now it’s Buehler who almost suffers a massive coronary.

Porno Lad: I had my perfect Paranoia moment, so it’s only fair that you should have your perfect Invictus moment. So tonight, Katelyn, Kordy and I will be there for you.

Katelyn: Why the change of heart?

Porno Lad: Let’s just say that my eyes have been opened….I’ve seen your amazing performances these past few weeks, including in that seven on seven elimination tag.

Katelyn: I’m glad you see things that way, Ethan…..I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel to know I have your support.

Porno Lad: You can always count on me.

Katelyn: Really? Never felt I could before.

Lad goes to explain but Katelyn cuts him off.

Katelyn: Ethan….just don’t…..Again, I appreciate that you’re seeing things my way for once….but tonight isn’t about us, it’s about the World Heavyweight Championship. Months ago I looked at my reflection in that gold as it sat over the shoulder of Taylor Chase, and I knew then, right there at THAT moment, I was destined to hold the title….

Once more Lad goes to speak before Buehler shuts him up.

Katelyn: I haven’t trained this hard, I haven’t worked through so many obstacles…

The scars on her scalp and the cast being placed over her hand are all acknowledged.

Katelyn: Just to fail now….just to lose when I FINALLY have my shot. I HAVE to win the Rumble tonight, Ethan, and with or without you by my side, I HAVE to go to Invictus…otherwise everything I’ve went through, everything I’ve endured, everything I’ve overcome, all this evolution will have been absolutely MEANINGLESS!

It seems Porno Lad is legitimately touched by this passionate speech.

Porno Lad: You’ve turned the page, and now you’re time has come, for you to truly be redeemed.

Lad and Kordy depart.

Finally Buehler is left alone as her mind becomes consumed with thoughts, and her hand is enveloped in a cast, her other palm slowly begins to open to reveal the ball planted within….finally learning her number.

Jackson: Alright….here goes nothing.

Fingers are cracked, a head is rotated to stretch the neck, every muscle is limbered up in preparation for the biggest move Jackson Adams has ever made.

Under the watchful gaze of the security staff, Jackson reaches into the tumbler and extracts his number. Yet much like Katelyn Buehler earlier in the night, there is no rush to see rather fate worked to his benefit or has conspired to his ruination. His palm hesitantly opens, but his eyes remain closed. Tentatively his right eye begins to creep open, just enough to glance at his number. Instantly he sighs….with despair

Jackson: MOTHER FUCKS! Seriously? Can I call a mulligan and draw again?

A unanimous head-shaking from security.

Jackson: You DICKS! What the hell am I supposed to do with this….number 12….I’m totally boned!

The ball is tossed into the air and caught in Jackson’s palm.

Jackson: Number twelve….number fucking twelve….UNREAL!

Rain: So the cat is out of the bag, huh?

Adams groans at the sound of the all too familiar voice of Rain….who made a stealthy entrance into the room….only making his presence known when it suited him.

Jackson: Rain….Rain….go away….come back another day.

Adams says in a sing-song voice.

Rain: You really do think your cute, don’t you?

Jackson: I think….NOTHING.

Rain: You want to know what’s gonna be cuter? When I take you, and throw you over the top rope tonight before Brandy and I put you through a table.

Jackson: Really? Is that how it’s gonna happen? Fat chance, Bub. I don’t think you realize how a Rumble actually works. So let me remind you. There’s about a thousand people competing in tonight’s match. MEANING, the likelihood that we’ll even cross paths with one another….is ZILCH…NADDA….You’re gonna be eliminated WAY before we ever square off. So don’t go getting your hopes up thinking you’re going to keep me from fulfilling my one unfulfilled goal here in the IWC, winning the Rumble….and then the World Heavyweight Championship in the MAIN EVENT of Invictus.

Rain: So you think we won’t be seeing each other in the Rumble tonight?

The smirk on Rain’s face would indicate otherwise.

Rain: Where there’s a will….there’s a way Adams.

Jackson: So spunky….yet so wrong. See….I have experience in past Rumble matches….and In spite of this new caveat about weapons being thrown into the mix, I still have a pretty big leg up over guys like you, who to date have yet to participate in an IWC Rumble. See, so many advantages to being a long time member of this roster, instead of yet another new comer who thinks his shit don’t stink and has this false sense of entitlement. And if you think I’m gonna let another newbie…no matter how much history I have with them….win the Rumble over me….a man who has been aspiring to win this baby since the day of its inception….you’re out of your fudging mind. I HAVE to win tonight….because with guys like you being shoved down our throats, it might be my last opportunity to fulfill my dream of main eventing Invictus for the World Championship.

Adams walks away, leaving Rain behind on the verge of selecting his number….but the tumbler is the least of his concerns.

Rain: Keep on believing that Adams…you’re going over that top rope tonight, and you’re going through that table.

This distraction allows him to be cut in line by not one….but two individuals. The camera turns to find both Ashley-Marie Chase and Brooklyn Smith standing beside the tumbler.

Brooklyn: Well, I hope this goes better than Gary’s selection earlier tonight.

Ashley: Yeah, you kinda hinted that he didn’t fair too well.

Brooklyn: That’s an understatement. I’m really worried about him…I mean…he shouldn’t even be in the Rumble tonight with his concussion issues, let alone going into it so early on.

Ashley: He’ll be okay, you know Gary can rise above pretty much anything. The guy is a brick wall, nothing hurts him.

Brooklyn: Not so much anymore.

Ashley: Erm….not to change the subject, but….

She debates how to get to another tangent without transitioning too awkwardly.

Ashley: ….have ya given any thought to…..ya’know?

Brooklyn: Oh….well….

Smith breaths funny…..uncomfortably.

Brooklyn:….Haven’t made up my mind just yet, Ash.

Ashley: If you really think about it though, it’s like a totally perfect fit.

Brooklyn: That might be true….but I’ve already got so much going on with Gary, plus all this stuff with the Blacklist and the Coalition….

Ashley: Don’t you think I know that, Brook? That’s what makes this so perfect. We can help lighten the load….take some of the pressure off.

Smith can’t help to contemplate the offer….her best friend making quite the sales-pitch.

Brooklyn: I just don’t know if I have the right mentality to fit in with Unity.

Ashley: Are you kidding me? You’re a PERFECT fit! You embody everything that Yvonne, Taylor and Kathryn have been preaching about….honor and all that respect stuff.

Brooklyn: True…..

Ashley: You girls are cut from the same cloth. So what do you say? Want me to tell Tay-Tay that we’re interested in joining up?

Brooklyn: I just don’t know.

Kathryn is clearly open to the idea, but her indecisiveness is equally as evident.

Brooklyn: I’ve got a lot to think about, Ash, so how about we just concentrate on getting through the Rumble tonight, and then we can talk about this.

Ashley is a little disappointed but tries not to show it.

Ashley: Okay…..totally respect that.

Attention returns to the tumbler.

Ashley: You want to pick first?

Brooklyn: Sure….I’ll dive in there.

The tiny door is reached through and Brooklyn secures her number….eagerly looking it over.

Brooklyn: Wow….not bad…not bad at all.

A smile forms on Ashley’s face, mirroring Brooklyn’s. It makes her feel good that Smith has found but a modicum of happiness given recent events.

Ashley: I guess it’s my turn. Wish me luck….

Brooklyn: Like you need it.

As Ashley finds herself in the process of drawing a number, Rain is currently dialing one. His phone is wedged to his ear while he paces the room.

Rain: Brandy, listen….We’ve got to find a way to make sure we enter the Rumble early….I know….I know….it would mean sacrificing that great number you selected…..BUUUUT….the sacrifice will be worth it if we get the chance to eliminate Adams.

He listens as Brandy airs her grievances.

Rain: We need to find a way to enter at around numbers ten and eleven.

The phone is pulled away from his ear as Brandy screeches into it.

Rain: Calm down….I’m telling you it’ll be worth it.

He hangs up and then turns just in time to spot Brooklyn consoling a stunned Ashley, who looks like she was just told her puppy has aids.

Ashley: I told you to wish me luck.

Brooklyn: Sorry….but your normally the luckiest woman I know.

Rain: Awww…..

Smith and Chase look towards the smile on Rain’s face and instantly want to remove it.

Rain: Have you two fallen on hard times? How sad.

He pantomimes brushing away tears.

Brookyn: No….actually….because tonight, Rain….the Rumble gives me an opportunity to finish what Gary started on Riot!

Rain: And how is your cousin doing? Well I hope. I mean, he didn’t look too good after that 4 on 1 handicapped match.

Brooklyn: Well he’s not going to be on his own tonight.

Rain: Really? Because as much as I hate to admit it, Jackson had a valid point. I heard you say that Gary drew a low number tonight….and your odds were a bit more favorable. So how do you intend to protect Gary, when he’s going to be trapped in the ring with the End Effect for a very long duration of time before you even enter the Rumble?

Obviously Brooklyn hadn’t even been considering this….not until now at least. And he gives her even more to dwell upon…well…her AND Ashley.

Rain: And It seems to me that you all fail to realize that it’s everyone….for….themselves.

Rain has TRIED to sow the seeds of dissent….but the roots have not taken hold and nothing has grown. Just the opposite in fact, evident as Brooklyn sacrifices herself to Chase’s benefit.

She grabs the ball right out of Ashley’s hand and forces her own into the palm of the young Chase.

Ashley: What are you doing?

Brooklyn: No tradies backsies.

Frankie: How in the hell do you work these things?

Frankie looks at the landline table-top phone like it were a totally foreign object. Nervously he runs his hand over the back of his bumpy head before reaching over the desk and lifting the receiver.

Frankie: Huh…..so I guess you lift this….and then what? When does the keyboard pop up?

The loss of his I-Phone forces Frankie to go as low tech as humanly possible….actually, he feels like a monkey learning to use tools for the first time.

Frankie: How do you fucking text message with this thing?

Eyes scan the surface of the desk he’s seated behind, lifting folders and tossing papers around.

Frankie: Where’s the instruction manual?

Harrison: Need some help there, Frank?

Paradise reclines back in his chair once he spots Aaron Harrison entering the office….but Aaron doesn’t come alone….he has a little friend….the kendo-stick resting across his shoulders.

Frankie: Aaron….to what do I owe the honor?

It takes his all to look casual….when on the inside, Frankie’s guts are twisting into sailor’s knots.

Harrison: You look nervous, Frank.

The beads of sweat streaming down Frankie’s skin are pretty hard not to notice.

Harrison: Anything the Blacklist can help you with?

Frankie: Unless you can smooth things over between the Board and I….I don’t think so?

Harrison: Heh….

The chuckle from Harrison strikes Paradise as particularly vexing.

Frankie: Is there a reason you’re so glib?

Harrison: Frank, the only thing you need to worry about right now is Mika’s challenge to Taylor Chase…

As if Paradise could endure any further aggravation…he’s already lost his I-Phone tonight….his I-Phone….that’s the equivalent of someone punching the false-teeth out of his grandmother’s mouth.

Frankie: Aaron, Bud, I’ve got a lot to deal with right now.

Harrison: Oh?

Frankie: That big free agent I signed didn’t even show up in spite of all the promises I made to the Board, plus the limo I put on their expense account got destroyed, I’ve got a bunch of crazy bitches running around here throwing one another down steps and threatening each other with switch blades….I’ve got ladies getting knocked out with baseball bats…it’s been total anarchy….

Harrison: Don’t worry, I’m sure the Board of Directors knows who’s responsible for all of this ‘madness’….Orlando Cruze….

No arguments from Frankie there.

Harrison: So let me deal with him.

Paradise feigns enthusiasm, though he’s more than a little tentative to conspire with the Blacklist.

Harrison: Mika’s taking care of Taylor on Riot!, so allow me to finally end Orlando on that very same night. Give the Blacklist a chance to take them all out in one fell swoop.

Frankie: Ummmm….

Harrison: Give the Blacklist closure, Frank….and I tell you what….I’ll even sweeten the pot for you.

Into his back pocket a set of handcuffs are removed and thrown onto the surface of the desk.

Harrison: Orlando will have to compete with his hands cuffed behind his back.

Frankie: Ummm….well….I don’t know….lemme take it under consideration.

Harrison: Heh.

Another glib reaction.

Harrison: Frank…..BUD….

The use of Frankie’s informal phrasal verb is not intended to show commonality between the pair, but is spoken in more of a threatening as opposed to friendly tone.

Harrison:….I think you have the wrong idea here.

Frankie: Huh?

Harrison: It’s not like I’m giving you a choice in the matter.

Frankie: Oh.

Jackson Adams can put his umbrella away….because there is no more concern of Rain….the clouds have parted and the metaphorical sun is beating down upon his shoulders. He feels like he’s walking in the light of day, even doing a two-step on his way down the corridor that is filled with a litany of potential weapons. Everywhere his eyes turn he spots another object, another potential device of destruction that can prove instrumental in the elimination of his adversaries.

Jackson: Let’s see…

A 2×4 is picked up.

Jackson: Nah….too Hacksaw.

The board is indiscriminately tossed aside in favor of another weapon. He plucks a pair of scissors off a nearby crate.

Jackson: No….too Brutus Beefcake.

The area continues to be surveyed for weapons before he comes across P Clarence Whitman peevishly glaring down at a table that bares a large assortment of blunt objects. Whitman appears just as overwhelmed by all the choices, and Simon is about to put even more options on the table….just not literally.

Simon: Hey-Hey P-Wiggy.

Whitman looks up and relishes in doing so when he spots the two ladies on Simon’s arms. The scantily clad ladies hang upon Cagero while obnoxiously chewing bubble-gum and fixing the sunglasses on the bridges of their noses.

Simon: Sooooo…..are you into Mexican or Chinese?

Whitman is so distracted by all the skin that he is in a state of momentary paralysis.

Whitman: Ah….pardon?

Simon: Mexican or Chinese?

Whitman: Oh….well….I thought we would have predictably American and antiquated English cuisine for the wedding reception….nothing too outlandish.

Simon: Cuisine? Who the fuck said anything about cuisine? I was talking about the strippers for the bachelor party.

Cagero pulls the glasses off one of the lady’s faces, revealing her Asian features.

Simon: Ling….or…

Another set of glasses is removed on the other woman’s face.

Simon:…Mariah?

Whitman: Ah….oh my….tough decision….WAIT….no….

A handkerchief is used to dab the saliva collected across his jaw.

Whitman: I’m afraid I mustn’t engage in such unspeakably indecent acts. If Lois….or my word…my MOTHER….discovered I was participating in such behavior, it would be quite the peril.

Simon: I’ll put you down for both.

Whitman: I don’t think you’re following me here, Mr. Cagero….there can be no bachelor party.

Simon: Relax, P-Wiggy.

A sigh.

Simon: Like I said, I’ll keep things tame. It’ll be like a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese.

Whitman: Ah….will there be tokens?

Simon: Maybe.

Whitman: Splendid.

Mariah: He’s a cute one….Simon.

Ling: Can we give him a free-be?

Whitman opens his mouth to protest but cannot bring himself to do so once he sees the enormous bust closing in upon him. Temptation….Cagero more than aware of the carrot he dangles before the horse’s mouth.

Simon: Nah….

The percolating nipples are pulled back and away from Whitman’s leering eyes.

Simon: The anticipation makes the payoff so much better. Oh….and P-Wiggy….

Whitman is too enchanted by the cleavage to speak.

Simon: How’s Mom doing?

Whitman: Mother? AH….ah yes….it’s still going to take some doing to get her to come around to the wedding.

Simon: Sorry to hear that.

He goes back to overlooking all of the weapons dispersed over the table surface. Fingers move towards a baseball bat before retracting back to his side. Fingers then approach the hammer but stop just short before hovering over a chain.

Simon: Would you just pick already!?!

Heart in throat.

Back to Jackson, the self-proclaimed Legend holding a rock-hammer.

Jackson: Nah….too Andy Dufresne.

Excuse me….Jackson….is it?

Attention shifts from the rock-hammer to the face of newcomer Arthur Cross. In spite of Jackson’s passion for brutalizing those most recent additions to the roster, Arthur shows a surprising lack of trepidation in approaching this inherently biased individual.

Jackson: Who the fuck are you, and why should I care?

Arthur Cross: My name is Mr. Cross….but you can feel free to call me, Arthur.

Jackson: There’s quite a few things I’d much rather call you.

A grin stretches across Arthur’s face.

Arthur: I heard you were quite the impetuous individual.

Jackson: Did you now?

Arthur: And a man of immense talents.

Jackson: Then you heard correctly.

Arthur: I also heard that you are not very kind to new signees.

Jackson: Yep….you’re clearly well informed.

Arthur: It appears that you have a negative stigma of ‘new-guys.’

Jackson: ERRRRRR….wrong.

The sound of a buzzing siren is imitated.

Jackson: And you were doing so good too…..

Arthur: Oh….am I mistaken?

Jackson: It’s no stigma ole timer….All you newbies are the same. You come here expecting to be spoon fed victories, and pushed over top of guys who built this house you’re performing in…..guys like me who busted their asses just to give you a place to call home. Guys like you, and Rain, think that just because they won a title in XPCWAGOFUCKYASELF…..that it entitles them to instant championship opportunities and so on and so for….

Arthur: I’m afraid that’s where YOU’RE mistaken, Jackson.

Adams at last shuts up, intrigued.

Jackson: You gonna try to correct me?

Arthur: I believe actions speak louder than words, Mr. Adams. Which is why my client….the most recent addition to the IWC roster, has a request.

Jackson: Wait-wait-wait….YOU….want something from ME? Why am I not surprised? More of this entitlement bullshit.

Arthur: Well….this proposition actually would be quite advantageous to you. Ya’see, Mr. Adams, my client wishes to make a major statement this evening to show what he’s capable of…..that he deserves to stand amongst the elite here in the IWC. Unfortunately, the number he selected for the Rumble tonight might make that a bit….difficult.

Jackson: What? Did he draw a number on the low end of the spectrum? Worried you’re client isn’t going to win the Rumble and go on to get a title shot…see….it’s the same old….

Arthur: No….just the opposite I’m afraid….He picked a number that was TOO favorable….One that fails to give him an opportunity to display his dominance…..For him to truly make a statement….So to show his incredible endurance, his innate longevity and stamina, he needs a number on the lower end of said spectrum. And you can help us with that.

Adams really wishes he hadn’t put down the rock-hammer.

Jackson: Does the term bat-shit crazy mean anything to you? What kind of idiot would WANT a low number in the Rumble?

Arthur: My client…..for reasons far more intellectual than you seem capable of wrapping your mind around.

Jackson: Well you’re barking up the wrong tree here, Sport-O. I’m through bending over backwards to help bright eyed, bushy tailed asshats that comprise this latest crop of ‘talent.’ So why don’t you look else….

This response is being made as he turns to take his leave….yet finds his departure compromised by the impact of his nose with a huge sternum…..a sternum that belongs to Tyson Galloway….Jackson’s jaw drops as his eyes slowly move from the chest all the way up…..way-way up to the face of this giant.

Jackson: On second thought….

Adams turns back towards Mr. Cross, ‘surprisingly’ having a change of heart.

Jackson:….maybe we CAN talk.

EMT: Where is that back-board at God dammit!?!

EMTS are in mass around the body of Dawn Lohan, who lies on her side grimacing from the pain in every muscle and presumably from some broken bones. Kathyrn Pearson kneels at Dawn’s side while Yvonne hovers, trying to stay out of the way at the same time that she offers reassuring platitudes to Dawn.

Ivy: You’re gonna be okay hon….just try not to move.

Dawn: You’re all overreacting….I’m fine…I’ve taken much worse than this in the past.

Kathryn: Just let them look you over….please Doll.

Dawn tries to sit up only to feel an excruciating pain flow through her lower back, prompting her to listen to the pleas of her friend.

Dawn: Alright fine…just get it over with.

She lies back down at the base of the stairs and listens to the EMTS run over her list of potential injuries. All the while Orlando Cruze is surveying this scene and predictably shaken by this imagery.

Orlando: How come you guys haven’t transported her yet? This is ridiculous.

EMT: Mr. Cruze, please calm down, we had to ensure she was stable first….and I have no idea where the other medics are with the back-board.

ivy: How ya feeling Dawn?

Dawn: Like crap.

Just before Orlando can finish trying to direct traffic and expedite this process, a figure impedes the progress.

Gary: Orlando, can we talk?

Gary Matt looks down on the situation from his vantage point at the top of the stairs, leaning over the bannister to get a closer look.

Orlando: Gary….this is not the time.

Gary: I……

Matt’s eyes move over the ladies at the base of the stairs and stop on the ailing Dawn.

Gary:….understand. It’s just…

He debates rather he should say anything more given the volatile situation.

Gary: I think we REALLY need to talk, Orlando….No….I HAVE to talk to you…..about Taylor….

Orlando: This is NOT the time Gary….

Gary: I’m sorry for what happened out there earlier…And I promise to make up for it..

Orlando: I can’t worry about that right now Gary!

The sincerity in Matt’s eyes is transforming into a totally different emotion.

Gary: You can’t worry….about my wif….you’re fiancée? Listen…listen…

Once again his tune changes.

Gary: Brittany isn’t going to be here tonight….so how about you make ME the final entrant in the Rumble….That way you can be sure I can eliminate the Blacklist should they still be around at that point, and take from them any opportunity to challenge Chase again for the World Championship.

Orlando: Gary…PLEASE… I’ve got my hands full at the moment….And besides…I’ve already been in contact with a replacement for Lohan….It’s already taken care of.

Gary: But….

Orlando: Dammit Gary…NOT NOW!

Gary: I see…..I see.

Matt hesitantly backs away from the bannister, watching Orlando at the bottom of the steps fawning over the injured Dawn.

Gary: I see.

Headlights hit the interior of the Amway Center’s enclosed parking facility, reflecting from the mutilated surface of a limo. These lights belong to a far less lavish vehicle….a stereotypical yellow taxi-cab, which slows to a stop.

Dollar: Who is this arriving to the Amway Center so fashionably late?

Susie: Ummm….I think I can figure this out.

Dollar: No Susie, it’s not Dr. Samuel Beckett!

Susie: Damn…what about Al Cavalacci?

Dollar: I’m fairly confident it’s not him either. This might just be….HIM….the major free agent that Frankie Paradise has been talking about for weeks now.

Susie Oh….so it’s not Sam….

Dollar; NO!

The camera zooms towards the backseat, trying to catch a glimpse of the passenger. Trying and failing.

WEAPONS ARE LEGAL RUMBLE MATCH

Focus shifts from the Taxi to the ring, which is once again occupied by Thomas Boll.

Boll: Lady and gentlefolk, follow match is over-top-rope Rumble, and winner go to challenge Champion of World at Invictus.

Suddenly the introductory tunes belonging to Taylor Chase blare through the speakers, eliciting an orgasmic reception from the fans. Everyone is on their feet as the World Champion graces us all with her presence yet again. With title not only in tow but raised above head, Chase steps to the stage and basks in the adulation.

Dollar: The time is indeed here for the Last Stand Rumble….but before the festivities begin, we’re being joined by the World Heavyweight Champion, Taylor Chase.

Susie: Who will be on hand to watch this match from the best seat in the house. AND she’s got something to say.

That seat just so happens to be a lavish throne situated just off to the side of the entrance tunnel….one that is about to be occupied by the World Heavyweight Champion…..but not until after she’s got something off her chest.

Taylor: COMPETITION….

Literally every single inch of Taylor Chase’s body is hurting. Even the tips of her bangs ache….hell….her eye lashes are throbbing….her ear-lobes are in agony….Yet there she is….STANDING…no….not just standing…. But holding her title high above her head. At the same time she points the gold towards the massive Invictus banner hanging from the scaffolding.

Taylor: That’s always what it has been about….Competition over THIS…

She draws the belt back in so that she can hit the edge of the microphone against the plate.

The gold falls over her forearm as Taylor introspectively gazes down upon it.

Taylor: And tonight I find out who my greatest challenge to date shall be as so many battle in that ring to determine who will fight me for the biggest championship, in the biggest match, at the biggest venue this industry has to offer.

The belt is situated so that it’s accentuated upon Taylor’s shoulder.

Taylor: THIS belt compels people to uncharacteristic feats….so just imagine what this entire roster will do in order to have the opportunity to not just capture it….but to capture it in the main event at Invictus.

It’s Taylor’s eyes that are now accentuated, becoming the camera’s focus.

Taylor: I’m sending a message to the entire roster. I’m watching…watching you all….and the eyes of the entire world are watching too…just as eager as me to find out who rises to the top, holds strong….and is the last person standing in the ring….moving on to make history….history at INVICTUS.

The World Title lowers to her aching shoulder and Chase moves to the throne, planting herself upon it and trying to get relaxed in spite of her nagging injuries

Dollar: Taylor taking a seat in that throne of power…ready to preside over the events and learn who her challenger will be at Invictus for the World Heavyweight Championship. Let’s break down this match for the viewing audience at home.

Susie: Okay, you do that, and I’ll sit here playing with my cabbage patch doll.

Dollar: Susie….that’s literally a head of moldy cabbage.

Susie: Don’t stifle my imagination!

Dollar: This match will start off with two combatants, and then after every two minutes another will enter the fray….but they won’t be coming alone, as Orlando Cruze added the wrinkle that every participant in the Rumble is expected to bring along a weapon of their choosing. Eliminations will occur only via being tossed over the top rope with both feet hitting the floor…let me emphasize that….BOTH feet hitting the floor.

Susie: And whoever is the last person standing in the ring will become the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship at Invictus.

Dollar: Huge….HUGE stakes on this match tonight.

Back to Boll in the ring ready to do his first introduction.

Boll: Introduce first….woman that draw number one…..Starr Chylde….ALANA STARR!

Born 2 Run by 7Lion draws another deafening roar from the fans. In spite of her attack on Dawn Lohan….the crowd is still enamored with the spunky lass….wait….that spunk is gone….gone far away. Intensity is all that remains….well that….and the tire iron hanging from her palm.

Dollar: And we start off the match with a woman who has more than just one goal tonight….

Suise: This match was ‘supposed’ to give her closure against Brittany Lohan.

Dollar: It’s a very likely possibility that will not happen now given the fact that all has gone quiet on the Brittany front….but wow has Alana ever been making waves tonight.

Susie: She attacked Cassidy Haze, she assaulted Dawn Lohan, and she destroyed that limo backstage searching for Lohan.

Dollar; She is so incredibly hell-bent on getting her hands on Brittany, and I think she still believes that Brittany will be part of this match in some capacity.

Susie: I guess we’ll have to wait all the way until the final entry in this match to find out if Lohan is going to show up or not.

Alana paces in the ring thumping the tire iron against her free palm and mouthing a string of obscenities to herself as she waits for the first obstacle standing between her and Lohan.

Boll: Introduce fella who draw number 2…..

All eyes are focused on the entry way, including Alana’s….including Taylor’s….

“We Own It” elicits a massive uproar from the audience and leads Andre Jordan to the ring with a flapjack in hand.

Dollar: Andre Jordan is number two!?! Are you fracking kidding me?

Susie: Holy cannoli.

Dollar As if things couldn’t get any worse for these star crossed brawlers.

Susie: Andre Jordan and Alana Starr have the most rotten luck imaginable.

After taking a very deep DEEP breath, Andre begins towards the ring. Every step a hesitant one….his shoulders and back buckling under the tremendous pressure weighing him down. And the look from Alana, that chilling, spirit crippling gaze, isn’t helping matters at all.

Dollar: I don’t think this is how either Andre Jordan or Alana Starr thought this Rumble would turn out. Alana FORCED into that number one spot, and Andre drawing number two….This is….this is horrible given their long standing relationship.

Susie As if that relationship wasn’t strained enough already.

Dollar: This might just be the breaking point.

The tension in the air is beyond palpable….Andre now standing across his beloved Alana, who hasn’t stopped pacing even as Jordan made his reluctant entrance.

Alana: Out here to keep me away from Brittany again, huh?

Suddenly the flapjack in Andre’s hand hits the canvas and Jordan turns his back on Starr, arms stretching to his sides.

Jordan: Do it baby….just do it….I’m not about to stand in the way of you getting Lohan. This is your night….this is your chance…..Just eliminate me.

The unstable Alana brings the tire iron up and stretches it between her palms in anticipation of delivering a fatal blow. Before this night, before this issue with Lohan ever began, clearly Starr NEVER would have even considered harming those she cares about the most. But this is not the same Alana that was attacked in the parking lot at that GDW show all those months ago. The cocoon has shattered, and what has emerged is a vastly different animal, one who will take out anyone she cares about in her pursuit for revenge.

Jordan: Do it! Come on…You don’t care about anyone, right? The whole world is out to keep you away from Lohan? Might as well as throw me in with the rest of that lot. This is your chance. Take out one more obstacle. Make me pay for stopping you from signing that contract. Let’s go….do it….eliminate me. I’m just another obstacle dammit. That’s all I am to you anymore right? That’s all ANYONE is to you anymore.

Alana is trembling when presented with this opportunity…..actually yearning to cave in Andre’s skull with the tire-iron….but something….some part of the real Alana is still there, buried deep, repressed beneath all the rage and all the hostility. It’s this part of her that quells her hands, that makes her ask why she is even debating taking the tire-iron to Andre’s head.

Jordan: What’s wrong, Alana? I’m a horrible, deceitful individual right? Which is why I tore up a contract that would force you out of wrestling forever if you had signed it….all for what….one match?

I’m a bastard….Alana…..I’m nothing but a jerk who betrayed your trust….That’s the only reason I signed with Silverstone….because she’s obviously out to lie to you too…which is why she spent so much time looking over those contracts….diligently reading all the fine print, searching out every single loophole and looking through all the legal jargon just so Brittany couldn’t spring a trap on you. But what’s it matter, because Tabitha and I, we’re just conspiring against you, right? We’re just horrible….HORRIBLE people. So take me out….eliminate me….and go down this road alone….that’s what you want right? Because you can’t afford to trust anyone else….you can’t believe anyone else is there to help you…..

Dollar: Decisions, decisions.

Susie: Alana Starr faced with a very difficult choice here tonight. Does she take this opportunity to eliminate Andre Jordan? Or does she come to her senses?

Dollar: This is a tough one to say the least.

The decision isn’t as hard as the commentators seem to believe, as the tire iron at last descends to Alana’s sides. For a moment there, Andre was legitimately worried, but now unleashes a sigh of relief as he turns towards his love.

Andre: You’ve done some pretty horrible stuff tonight, but it’s not too late….You can still go back, Jellybean.

The magnitude of her actions sinks in, and hits Alana like a shotgun spray directly to the gut.

Alana: Dre.

For the first time in weeks, Andre sees the REAL Alana in the misty eyes staring back at him. Without hesitation Andre reaches out, sliding his hand around Alana’s cheek.

Andre: Hi….

The feel good vibe doesn’t last long….giving way to even more chaos. Andre’s expression changes in a flash, once he spots the switchblade traveling towards the back of Alana’s head. Thinking quickly, Jordan uses the grip on the side of Starr’s face to shove her aside, sending her staggering into the ropes and spilling over them….He then side steps the blade that Cassidy Haze intended to embed in the back of Alana’s skull.

Dollar: Did Andre just eliminate Alana!

Susie: No, but Cassidy sure tried to.

Jordan manages to swat aside the blade, step around behind Cassidy and use her own momentum to throw her through the ropes to the outside of the ring. The second Haze disappears from the fray, Alana manages to stand up on the apron, and turn back to the action within the ring. If it hadn’t been for her grabbing the middle rope just as she flipped over to the apron, she surely would have been eliminated, and by of all people, Andre Jordan.

Andre spins around to check on her now that he’s sure Cassidy has been taken out….but he turns to find something more dangerous than a switchblade, Alana’s fury.

Alana: Why Andre?

Andre: What….wait….NO!

He tries to point to Cassidy on the outside of the ring but Alana is through listening to the lies and deceit…or what she’s been manipulated into believing are deceptive acts from Jordan.

Andre steps in to explain himself but Alana does the unthinkable, she flips over the top rope, lands on his shoulders and snaps off into a hurricarana. Andre now goes flying forward into the ropes, hitting the top one and just barely wrapping himself around it in time to prevent his elimination.

Dollar: Wait….does Alana think Andre tried to throw her over the ropes?

Susie: I’m pretty sure that was the misconception here. Starr had no idea that Cassidy Haze tried to stab her with the switchblade and that Andre was only trying to pull her out of the way and protect her.

Dollar: Looks like Andre’s chivalry and adulation for Starr came back to haunt him again.

Alana: I trusted you Andre….I trusted you!

She steps in and wraps arms around Andre’s leg, trying to lift up n it and eliminate him. As Jordan holds fast and continues to try and talk sense to the emotionally wrought, Starr, the countdown clock appears in the bottom corner of the screen, indicating that entrant number three is about to make their arrival.

Dollar: Who is going to be the next entrant into the Rumble?

Susie: God I hope it’s Oscar the Grouch, that would be the most wicked thing in the history of wickedness.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3….

Alana is still fighting to get Andre over the ropes and he is still fighting to connect with her….

Andre: I was trying to help.

Alana: You’re a liar…you’re a damned liar!

….2, 1!

The second the buzzer sounds, Cassidy Haze is rolling back into the ring with the blade back in her clutches.

Dollar: Looks like Cassidy Haze, Brittany Lohan’s protégé might be the next entrant in this Rumble.

Susie: Even if she isn’t, I don’t think anyone is going to try and stop her when she’s got that switchblade in her hand.

Cassidy wasn’t waiting for the countdown to conclude before going back on the attack, she only hesitated in the hopes that Starr would eliminate Andre. When it became apparent that Jordan wasn’t about to let go and had resolved himself to clinging to the cables like a Garfield suction cup on a car window, she realized it was time to act. She grabs Alana by the hair, pulling back her head and making sure she will NEVER challenge Lohan by lifting the blade to her throat.

But before the crowd can witness a homicide in the center of the ring, Alana drops back, launching a shin into the air and drilling Cassidy to the face with a kick. The strike knocks Haze loopy, but not down. She somehow catches herself, planting her feet just as Alana gets to her own and steps in to brutalize the Wild Card.

She only gets within a few feet before Cassidy starts to swing the knife wildly around herself, indiscriminately slicing at anything that moves.

In the process of dodging these blows, Alana falls back first against the turnbuckle, and then dives out of the way just as Cassidy swings the blade down her chest. The knife becomes embedded in the turnbuckle pad, and in spite of all Haze’s best efforts, she cannot tear her weapon loose.

Susie: Cassidy an absolute psychopath going after Alana with that knife.

Dollar; Thank God it got stuck in the turnbuckle pad….otherwise who knows what Cassidy would have done with it.

Haze keeps pulling but cannot free the blade….the distraction allowing Starr to come racing in behind her rival. But a back elbow to the temple keeps Alana from getting any advantage. Starr then goes twisting to the center of the ring, grabbing at her wounded cranium as Haze rushes in behind her. The back of Alana’s head and tights are taken hold of and now Haze is rushing her straight towards the ropes, intent on throwing her over.

She only gets about half way across the ring though before rushing right into a shot to the top of the head with the flapjack. Andre intervenes in the nick of time to save his girlfriend, who collapses to the canvas beside him totally unaware of his intervention.

Dollar: The flapjack resoundingly connecting to Cassidy’s head!

Suise: He just whooped that trick!

Dollar: And he came to Alana’s aid in the process.

Cassidy collapses to the canvas and then rolls across it into the ropes, employing them to begin reaching her feet. Andre then turns towards Alana, trying to help her up only to have his arms swatted aside.

Alana: I don’t need you!

Distance is put between them via a big shove from Alana, sending Andre staggering into Cassidy who stands just in time to catch him with a back drop that sends him sailing over the ropes. Luckily Andre grabbed the top cable though and floats over, instead of crashing to the mats he lands on the apron. He then waits for Haze to spin around before catching her with a punch straight to the jaw.

Cassidy spins away and stumbles towards the center of the ring just as Starr comes barreling in with a spear to her ribs.

Somehow Cassidy sidesteps though and uses Alana’s own momentum to push her along right into Andre. Somehow Alana manages to stop just before he connects with Jordan who is still standing on the apron and would undoubtedly be sent down to the mats, eliminated from this bout. Upon the two coming face to face Alana retracts her fist, about to throw it right into Jordan’s jaw and knock him from the apron.

Andre: Jellybean…you know me.

Alana: No…I THOUGHT I knew you.

10, 9, 8…

Dollar: Someone else about to come out here and join what has already been a wild Rumble.

Susie: But Andre’s not about to find out who it is…

Why?

Cause Cassidy is rushing in behind Alana, wedging hands to her spine and pushing her straight into Andre so the two will bump heads and Jordan will undoubtedly be eliminated. However, Andre sees this coming, prompting him to drop to his seat on the apron and baseball slide through the legs of the inbound Starr. He then sits up on the canvas just as Cassidy steps in and delivers a devastating kick square to his forehead.

Right after delivering the kick, Cassidy rushes right into Alana, who turns around and gets clocked beneath the jaw with a step up knee strike. The stiff blow sends Starr flipping up and over the top rope. The crowd squeals with eyes widening as Starr ALMOST takes a dive to the outside mats…..ALMOST….landing across the apron and wrapping an around the bottom rope. Haze sticks her foot through the ropes, pushing on Alana’s shoulder, trying to kick her off and to the outside.

Dollar: Alana holding on…but Cassidy is hell-bent on eliminating her both in retribution for that attack earlier tonight, and to remove ANY possibility that Alana will cross paths with Brittany….

Susie: Who isn’t even here tonight.

…4, 3, 2…1!

Dollar: Well we’re about to find out who IS here tonight, and who will be the fourth entrant in the 2014 Rumble.

The buzzer sounds throughout the arena followed by….Rammstien’s “Feurer Frei.”

Dollar: Who….who is this?

Susie: Oh my god….Oh my god I’m getting excited, you can totally see my nipples poking through my dress right now.

Dollar: Yes, yes I did notice that.

All becomes clear when the curtains part like the red sea and through them steps a figure of near biblical lore in the IWC…..former World Heavyweight Champion and Hall of Famer, Hellkat! Exclamation point and all.

Susie: YES! YES OH YES!

Dollar: Did you just turn into Meg Ryan faking an orgasm.

Susie: No faking about it…that’s Hellkat…that’s the very first ULW World Heavyweight Champion….THUNDERCATS HOOOOOO!

Dollar: We speculated that there would be quite a few surprises this evening, and this is the first, Hellkat, former World Champion is here….we haven’t seen her in years.

And Hellkat doesn’t come empty handed, revealing to the palpitating crowd her weapon of choice, a long rope.

Dollar: It’s going to be very interesting to see what Hellkat does here tonight, she’s produced so many legendary moments in both ULW and IWC lore. Who can forget her win in the first Weapon’s Lair, where she won the World Title adorned in full battle armor.

Susie: I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it….I think….I think…I think I just might like it.

Dollar: Yeah, you’re signing just totally killed the vibe.

Susie: Sorry, but I wonder what’s with the rope in Hellkat’s hands?

She slides right into the ring dragging the excessively long weapon behind her…which seems to possess hooks on both ends. A rather stunned Cassidy races in to get the advantage on her before Hellkat can get to her feet. But Hellkat’s speed is too much, quickly crawling right through Haze’s legs and ending up behind her. She then stands and yanks up on the rope, ramming it into Cassidy’s crotch and flipping her over.

Andre is in the process of helping Alana through the ropes only to be shoved back, Starr still refusing his help.

And Andre is shoved back right into the kneeling Hellkat, who reaches into her trunks and retrieves a Shark-Boy mask. She slide sit over her head and immediately sinks her teeth right into Jordan’s rear-end. Andre is in so much pain he can’t even make it audible. He just begins to leap up and down and race in circles around the ring with Hellkat following behind her on her knees, still sinking teeth into his derriere.

Dollar: Classic Hellkat and Desolation inspired antics here.

Susie: So much the butt that Unity was raving about earlier.

Andre finally breaks away and rolls under the ropes to the outside of the ring to give time for his rear-end to recover. Hellkat then stands up and grabs the rope just as Alana rushes in. The cable is stretched out between Hellkat’s arms and rammed right into Starr’s throat, knocking her to the canvas where she gasps for air.

With all of her opponents down Hellkat works quickly, taking one end of the rope and hooking it around the top rope. She then stretches the cable out as far as it will go, all the way across the center of the ring and hooks the other end on the top rope running parallel to the one she already hooked. To a rapacious response, the fans now see that Hellkat has made a makeshift top rope that cuts right through the middle of the ring.

Cassidy can care less what Hellkat is doing though, intent only upon inflicting damage. She scrambles across the ring at this point just as Hellkat turns around, catches the inbound knees of her opponent and back drops her right over the top rope…..the one SHE put in place. Haze flies over the cable and crashes down on the canvas upon the opposite side.

The Shark-Boy mask is tossed aside at this point so that referee Ingelson can see the sincerity in her eyes….as she insists that Haze has been eliminated via going over the top rope.

Dollar: Oh wow….GENIUS!

Susie: Genius? This would give Piddle & Plop a run for their money in terms of sheer unbridled brilliance!

Dollar: Hellkat has made a makeshift top rope in the center of the ring that she just tossed Haze over…so technically, doesn’t that count as eliminating her?

Hellkat is proud of herself for this one, but that pride comes before the fall. The part of dream killer is played by Ingelson this evening, as he gets hyper technical and states that Cassidy’s feet have to hit the MATS, and not the canvas in order to count as an elimination.

As Hellkat argues synmantics with Ingelson, Haze sneaks under the make-shift top rope, grabs the waistband of her opponent and drags her down. Hellkat’s momentum carries her throat first into the rope she just set up, which possesses a surprising amount of tension, just enough to apply significant friction and pressure on her esophagus. The impact with the rope snaps Hellkat’s head back and sends her body rolling across the canvas.

Cassidy then rises slowly to her feet, having no idea that Alana is racing in behind her. Starr then grabs the top rope put in place by Hellkat, leaps over it, lands right on top of Cassidy’s shoulders and then turns her body so that she delivers a huge hurricarana.

Dollar: Now everyone using the NEW top rope to their advantage.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Susie: It looks like we’re about to have ANOTHER entrant in the Rumble.

Dollar: Who can possibly top Hellkat?

6, 5, 4, 3…..

Alana approaches Hellkat and leads her up to her feet before pushing her along into the ropes and then trying to force her over. The former World Champion wraps her body around the top cable, refusing to be eliminated in the early goings of this bout.

2, 1….

“The Ginger Song” by Hale & Pace plays throughout the PA system and the fans go mild….having absolutely no idea what they’re listening to and what they’re seeing as a walk jar of mayo makes his way to the stage. The pigment deprived Raging Ginger steps to the stage and thumps his fist to his chest in a stereotypical, ‘I’m a big muscle bound gorilla, piss your pants now,’ type gesture. The man featuring a head of flaming red hair then bolts straight towards the ring.

Dollar: And here is one of the more unknown entities in the Last Stand Rumble tonight….

Susie: Oh God, my eyes! I shouldn’t have looked directly at his skin.

Dollar: Yeah, I wouldn’t advice that without the use of sunglasses.

Susie: I’m blind Johnny, really, I can’t see a thing….it’s like I looked at an eclipse.

The fans are rather fickle as the Raging Ginger slides into the ring holding a barber’s pole….why….because it’s white and red….get it….ah to hell with it.

The barber’s pole is swung into the upper back of Alana, ricocheting off her spine. This blow to the spinal column of Starr results in the wrath of the man who will not give up on her, Andre rushing across the ring and taking the Ginger by the shoulder. The red headed behemoth spins around and throws a big fist at Jordan’s face only to have him duck and then rush into the cables in order to build some momentum. However, Hellkat stands up on the opposite side of these ropes and leaps into the air, driving her shin over the top rope into Andre’s inbound face.

The kick sends Jordan twisting into the grips of the Raging Ginger, who takes him by the wrist and shoots him off across the ring. Just before he can be sent into the cables though, Andre turns, stops cold and reverses the whip by pulling Ginger into a short arm spinning powerslam.

The fire up Andre works his way to his knees and then spots what must have fallen out of Hellkat’s full body tights when she yanked into the ropes. The Shark-Boy mask, which he eagerly snatches up. Just as the Raging Ginger gets to his feet, Andre takes the mask and slides it over the big man’s head, but backwards so that the eye slots are behind Ginger’s head, leaving him totally blind.

Raging Ginger throws fists wildly, having absolutely no eye sight at this point. His swinging fists spin him around right into the barber pole that is swung by Andre directly into his gargantuan opponent’s ribs.

The blow doubles the Ginger over, putting him in perfect position for the scissors kick from Alana, connecting right against the back of the massive hoss. The Raging One goes down to the ring just as Andre spins around with the barber pole still in his hand, the weapon unintentionally finding itself mere inches from Alana’s face. She was kneeling on the canvas before looking up and seeing the barber pole flying traveling towards his skull.

Andre stops cold and immediately throws aside the weapon before trying to explain himself….insinuating that he was NOT going to use it on Alana.

Starr still isn’t buying it….and has no desire for explanations….just physicality. She snatches hold of Andre’s wrist and pulls him forward into a forearm to the jaw, followed by another and then another. It kind of makes it hard to talk since into Starr when Andre’s mouth is being repeatedly shut by these stiff strikes.

Dollar: Alana is just so distrusting of everyone…Andre included.

Susie: She thinks everyone is out to keep her away from Brittany Lohan.

10, 9, 8 7….

Dollar: Well….with the exception of Andre, everyone IS out to keep her and Lohan apart, because everyone is out to eliminate everyone else…including whomever had the misfortune of drawing number 5.

6, 5….

Inside of the ring Cassidy Haze is rushing across the ring and diving shoulder first through the ropes in an attempt to nail Hellkat in the ribs and knock her off the apron. This attempt is sidestepped, Hellkat moving out of the way as Cassidy head ends up sticking through the ropes, one of which is given a kick from the former World Champion. The punt kick sends the middle cable straight up into Cassidy’s throat, sending her staggering back gasping for air. She turns her back to Hellkat, who slides into the ring, wedges her hands to Haze’s kidneys and shoves her esophagus first into the make-shift top cable.

Cassidy’s larynx snaps off the rope and she collapses to her spine, trying desperately to catch her breathe.

…2, 1….BUUUUZZZZ!

Dollar: Who’s it gonna be?

The lights go out as “In Ashes They Shall Reap” by Hatebreed begins to play throughout the arena.

Born to bleed
Fighting to succeed
Built to endure what this world throws at me
Born to bleed
Fighting to succeed
Built to endure what this world throws at me

There is no pep in the step of one Gary Matt, who methodically makes his way to the ring, giving more than enough time for his opponents to inflict damage on each other, marginally increasing his odds. He stops right at the ringside area with a chain wrapped around his fist.

Dollar: “The Maniac” Gary Matt is our next entrant…..the luck of the draw didn’t favor him too well tonight.

Susie: Luck hasn’t been on his side at all lately.

Dollar: He’s looking to change that luck here tonight by punching his ticket to Invictus where he will have a one way trip to the World title match.

The thought of facing Taylor for the title isn’t wasted on either Gary or the World Champion. Chase watches uncomfortably as Matt’s eyes make contact with her own. Just then he seems to have an epiphany. He throws the chain into the ring and then reaches down and grabs one of the ringside mats, ripping it away from the concrete beneath.

Susie: Is Gary an interior decorator?

Dollar: Gary, you don’t have to take the ring apart, the jobbers will do that after the show.

The ringside mat is slid into the ring and ends up right at the feet of the Raging Ginger. The freckled behemoth tries to pick up the mat and throw it to the outside when another Matt, slides into the ring and grabs the other end of the mat…Someone, somewhere just went cross-eyed.

Gary and The Raging Ginger fight over ownership of the mat, getting in a tug of war over it. They extend it out over their hands as they continue to grapple for ownership. That’s when Hellkat comes rushing and shows remarkable agility….cat like agility….thank you…thank you….by leaping into the air, landing on the mat outstretched between their hands and then back flipping into a moonsault right across the laid out ribs of Haze.

Dollar: Wow…that was abasolutely AMAZING!

Susie: Go Thundera GO!

Dollar: Hellkat back flipping off that mat stretched between the arms of Gary and the Raging Ginger….but why did Gary bring that thing into this match to begin with?

Susie: To soften his landing?

The battle for the mat continues while Hellkat gets to her feet and looks to intervene. She doesn’t make it very far, because Starr bolts across the ring, goes airborne, lands on the mat stretched between the arms of her opponents and lunges off into a forward flipping plancha. She connects spine first with Hellkat’s shoulder, the two collapsing to the canvas.

Dollar: Thank God these woman have been laying off the cheese burgers and extra-large fries.

Susie: If these ladies weren’t so trim, they’re fat asses would never have been able to go springing off that mat like this.

Monkey see….monkey do….Now Cassidy waits in anticipation of both Alana and Hellkat getting to their feet. They start to stand up while exchanging shots only for Haze to swoop in, leap into the air and spring off the mat outstretched between the hands of Ginger and Gary. The moment her feet hit the mat though, Gary and Ginger let go and cause Cassidy and the mat to go tumbling right down to the canvas.

The fans cheer and laugh as Haze lands on her rear-end then rolls around screeching in agony. There are no screeches from either Gary or Ginger though, who are swiping their palms against one another like they just dumped a load of trash.

Dollar: Nope…sorry Cassidy….I don’t think you’re as well liked as you’re opponents.

The Raging Ginger grins becomes slightly less homicidal, forgetting the anger elicited from his pale and freckled flesh and extending the olive branch of camaraderie. Gary, who was stooped for some reason, stands back up and reciprocates the handshake only to swing around with his free fist that has been covered by a steel chain.

Dollar: Chain to the jaw!

Susie: As if the Raging Ginger needed anymore help looking disfigured.

The unexpected blow from the chain sends Ginger rolling across the ring and under the rope Hellkat set in place. Gary then rushes in, grabs a hand full of red hair, leads his opponent up to his feet and then tosses him over the make-shift top cable, causing Ginger to crash down across the outside mat that the Maniac brought into the ring.

Gary then spins around, grabs the official by the jersey and points to the rope as well as the mat.

Gary: You said they had to go over the top rope and that their feet HAD to hit the mats….Sooo.

Yep…..Gary’s right, technically the rules have been followed to the letter, prompting Ingelson to inform the Raging Ginger that he is the first man eliminated from the Rumble.

Dollar: Well now….this just as unorthodox as they come.

Susie: Yep….Gary and Hellkat set it up so that people can actually be eliminated without even having to be tossed to the outside of the ring.

Dollar: Because they’ve gotten way too technical with the rules, and it’s cost the Raging Ginger a possible World Title opportunity.

Susie: Goodbye Raging Ginger we barely knew thee.

For the first time in weeks Gary actually has cause to smirk, watching as the Raging Ginger rolls under the ropes at the official’s behest. But the eliminated combatant isn’t the only thing tossed from the ring, so too is the mat. Ingelson then goes a step further by beginning to take down the top rope Hellkat put in place.

Gary watches all of this, losing focus….which could be quite costly as he drops his guard to Andre, who rushes in behind him, catches Matt by the back of the head and throws him over the ropes. However, Gary wraps his arms around the top cable just before he can go over it, cradling the cable to his stomach. Andre then steps in and grabs the feet of his opponent that are elevated from the canvas, lifting up on them in a valiant attempt to force him over.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Alana Starr and Hellkat are surprisingly working together in an attempt to eliminate Haze. They have her backed into the ropes and are crouched under the creases of her knees, elevating them in order to send her flipping in reverse over the cables. Cassidy wraps her arms around the top rope, leaning back into it but refusing to go over it.

4, 3, 2, 1….

Dollar: Ingelson finally taking down that rope and removing the mat from the ring just in time for us to find out who our next entrant is going to be.

Susie: How many people do we already have out here?

Dollar: I believe this will be our seventh entrant in the 2014 Last Stand Rumble.

Susie: Who’s next….come on….come on…COME ON!

“EVERYBODY!”

Never have the lyrics provided by the Backstreet Boys been cause for such aggravation. They generate such unrest because now this song is being associated with the man presently taking center-stage, the Original Prankster. Porno Lad stands on the stage pantomiming a title belt in Taylor’s direction. Kordelia is presently sliding through his legs and flipping over to her back before giving a come-hither gesture with her finger. Porno Lad drops down to his knees and crawls on top of Kordelia before looking up towards the heckling fans with puckered lips and his tongue slowly protruding from the corner of his mouth.

Dollar: Well….there goes the legitimacy of the Rumble.

Susie: Porno Lad about to put on a dazzling performance.

Dollar: Are you kidding me? If he does to the Rumble what he’s done to women’s wrestling God help us all.

The dry humping on the stage ends when Porno Lad extracts a microphone from his back pocket and in the process drags Kordelia to her feet by way of her wrist.

Dollar: Ah shit….and he’s got something to say too?

Susie: You act like that’s a bad thing.

Dollar: It is..everything that comes out of this man’s mouth is horse-shit.

Porno Lad: Ladies and that precious 5-12 year old demographic that purchase my merchandize, the winner of the 2014 Rumble is here!

Stomachs the world over churn like butter in a ye’ ole mixing barrel.

Porno Lad: And although my talents are extraordinary enough to win this Rumble without the use of weapons….because, let’s face it, I am a Mega-Face, and I could return from a debilitating injury three months before I’m scheduled to in order to make a bunch of wrestlers who have been competing at the top of their games, look weak losing to a man with preexisting injuries by tossing them effortlessly over the top rope…..far be it from me not to play by the rules. We’re supposed to bring weapons to this match…FINE….my weapon….just to make a statement about the objectification of woman in wrestling….Kordelia Price!

Kordelia shakes her ass excitedly to an overwhelming roar of disapproval from the fans.

Dollar: WHAT!?!

Porno Lad: Porno-Price…ACTIVATE!

Kordy turns herself into a makeshift back-pack, leaping over Porno Lad’s spine and wrapping arms around his neck as he rushes down the ramp.

Dollar: Porno Lad continuing to make women look so inferior, transforming Kordelia into nothing but a weapon instead of a human being.

Susie: So he’s not even letting Kordelia compete in the Rumble as an entrant?

Dollar: NO! She’s just in there to be his weapon and nothing more. He won’t allow her to be her own autonomous being.

Into the ring rolls Porno Lad with Kordelia still wrapped around his back, the grip with her arms and legs unbreakable. He turns and rushes right into Andre, ramming Kordy into his chest and then sandwiching her between them. Jordan crashes into the corner with the weight of both Porno Lad and Kordelia ramming into him.

All the air is knocked out of Andre’s body as he begins to slide down the turnbuckle looking a bit worse for wear. Alana has no qualms going after the Original Prankster, about to do something regarding his disgusting disposition towards women. Instead she does not take a stand for woman….actually, she gets knocked straight on her ass. Porno Lad pulls Kordelia up onto his shoulders, and goes into an airplane spin, causing Price’s heels to nail Starr right in the temple.

Gary then steps away from the ropes and gets clocked in the jaw with Price’s boots, almost knocking him over the cables. Somehow he manages to catch himself just before going over.

Although Hellkat is equally as repulsed by the disdain expressed by Porno Lad regarding female athletes, she is presently too busy trying to get Cassidy over the ropes. Mission accomplished. She pushes Haze to the exterior of the cables…but now her mission becomes forcing her to the outside mats….which Haze is complicated given her tight grip on the middle rope. The moment Haze comes down to the apron she wraps her arms and her legs tightly around the bottom cable as tight as a noose around a neck. Hellkat stomps away at Haze’s body but can’t get her to break the grip.

Dollar: Haze so close to going over…

Susie: But look at the other side of the ring…look at Porno Lad!

Dollar: Do I really have to?

Porno Lad heaves Kordy up onto his palms and now gorilla presses the very diminutive figure right into Gary’s chest. The press almost sends Gary flipping backwards over the ropes, but then he shits his weight back towards his legs. Thankfully, for Matt’s sakes, he lands back on his feet with Kordy still stretched across his sternum. He then tosses Kordelia up onto his shoulders and throws her into a running release powerbomb right into the back of an unsuspecting Porno Lad.

The collision sends Porno Lad spiraling forward into the ropes and eventually spilling through them to the apron.

Susie: Porno Lad is out!

Dollar: No..he went through the ropes….dammit.

Porno Lad utilizes the ropes to reach his feet, standing on the apron just as Gary grabs him by the jaw and pulls back. He also throws Porno Lad’s arms back to entirely expose his chest to a series of clubbing forearms…..one another and another. Andre Jordan staggers past Gary and slides through the ropes to the apron, standing at Porno Lad’s side while delivering repeated knife edge chops across his chest.

Dollar: Porno Lad hasn’t endeared himself to any of the men on this roster either given that superstar mentality he carries around backstage. No one likes someone with a big chip on their shoulder and an ego.

Susie: Really Johnny….really?

Although shes hurting Kordelia cannot help but to take advantage of having the spotlight, swiveling her hips and turning in circles.

Kordy: Ya love Kordy. Ya really love Kordy.

Obviously the heat she’s generating she mistakes for hype from the fans. The rump gyrating ends when Kordy turns right into the waiting arms of Starr. She scoops Kordy up and carries her towards the ropes, trying to throw her over into a scoop slam across the mats. But Price reaches out and grabs the cable with both hands, refusing to go over.

Once again Hellkat finds her way working in tandem with Starr, giving up on Cassidy in order to help out in the potential elimination of Price.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Dollar: Price and Porno Lad both on the verge of elimination….and I don’t think whomever is coming out here next is going to offer them much in the way of aid.

Susie: PLLLLEEASE let it be anyone from Quantum Leap….anyone! It would at last give my life meaning.

Chops and forearms continue to connect with Porno Lad’s wounded flesh while Price grips the top rope trying to avoid being tossed by the two ladies who are now holding her in simultaneous fireman carries. Starr and Hellkat are back to back with Kordelia stretched over the shoulders, trying their hardest to get Kordelia over….but she will not budge in spite of their best efforts.

3, 2, 1….

BUUUUUUZZZZ

Dollar: Who steps up the plate next?

Susie: There’s seven people in there already and only one elimination thus far.

Dollar: Actually there’s only six people in there Susie, and Porno Lad’s weapon.

Susie: Oh yeah, thanks for the correction.

Dollar: I really wish I didn’t have to make that correction.

Hopefully people have taken Frankie’s earlier advice and managed to strap their socks on given the intro music that is currently blaring through the PA system…entrance tunes that belong to Katelyn Buehler.

Dollar: To steal a line from a rather legendary commentator….Business is about to pick up.

There is incredible hype followed by a thunderous reception once Katelyn makes her down out of the entrance tunnel. She stands on the stage soaking in the elation, feeling the butterflies forming in her stomach as she prepares to compete in the single biggest match of her career….a match that could very well seal her destiny.

Dollar: Katelyn Buehler….hand in a plaster cast and all is about step into that ring….finally given the opportunity of opportunities….the chance to become number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Susie: She’s made no bones about it for months now….her one goal…her only aspiration is to win the title to redeem herself and validate her career.

Dollar: This is that chance, this is that opportunity.

Buehler doesn’t even pay attention to the cast over her fractured hand or the combatants brawling in the ring. Her focus is on the World Title that is currently being raised up high by the woman seated a few feet away from her, the champion herself, Taylor Chase.

Taylor: Bring it honey….just bring it.

Though the odds are definitely not in her favor….Katelyn nevertheless rushes down the ramp, not worrying about using up her stamina….She’s fired up and absolutely nothing, not starting at number 8, not coming to the ring with an injured arm, not all the naysaying from the Coalition, is going to stop her from winning this Rumble. She slides into the ring across her stomach, leaps to her feet and reveals her weapon of choice….the plaster cast over her arm…..which she drives over the back of Gary Matt. She then rushes across the ring and goes all Bob Orton on Hellkat, ramming her cast into the legend’s ribs.

These blows delivered by Buehler, who turns inury to her advantage, saves both Porno Lad and Kordelia Price.

Dollar: Katelyn saving the two she made peace with earlier tonight….I can’t believe she’s bought into all the crap that Lad and Prince were shoving down her throat…..wait…wait…don’t even make a sexist joke here, Susie.

Susie: Hey now…you’re the one who opened the door here. But no….I’m not going to say anything, I’ll bite my tongue and be good, mostly because I happen to be a big Buehler fan too.

Dollar: She’s certainly making good use of that big awkward cast on her arm.

A smile forms on Porno Lad’s face as he turns and watches Buehler going to any lengths in order to win the Rumble tonight. Katelyn now ducks an attempted a lariat from Alana, who’s momentum sends her into a big spin. Buehler then delivers a step up enzugari to the back of Starr’s head, staggering her and knocking her back into the waiting shoulder of Porno Lad.

He slips through the ropes back into the ring just in time to catch the inbound Alana’s kidneys before back dropping her over the cables. Starr flips over and completely and lands on the apron, grabbing hold of the top rope to give her some stability as she comes down.

Alana just starts to straighten herself up when Porno Lad grabs Kordelia by the wrist and whips her with all his strength right into the ropes Starr is standing on the opposite side of. Price hits the cables and knocks Alana off the apron.

Dollar: NOOO! Starr is….

Susie: But wait, she’s balancing herself on the apron!

That’s right…that’s just what Alana is doing. With her arms swinging out to her sides, Alana finds herself precariously balancing herself on the arches of her feet across the edge of the apron. Eventually she tilts back and begins to fall only to have her hand caught….gripped in the palm of Andre.

Jordan rushed across the apron just in time to reach out and grab Starr’s hand, wrapping his other arm around the top rope in order to keep the two from tumbling to the outside. Alana’s feet grip the apron, but are so close to slipping off and sending her collapsing to the mats. A wounded, tired Cassidy then steps in, reaches over the ropes and digs her fingers right into Andre’s eyes, beginning to tear at the retinas.

Jordan doesn’t have a free hand to stave off being blinded by the excessively long nails of Haze, for one is wrapped around Alana’s wrist, and the other is gripping the top rope to keep her from being eliminated.

Dollar: Look at this, Andre won’t even let go of Alana even as his eyes are being raked by Cassidy.

Susie: Now THAT’s devotion.

Dollar: You aren’t kidding.

The battle of wills persists with Andre showing incredible will-power by holding strong to Alana’s wrist and refraining from breaking that grasp in order to save his eyes. And his persistence is rewarded with a drastic reversal in Alana’s attitude. The anger in her heart is replaced with remorse for her distrust. Haze has had enough of this….breaking away from Jordan’s eyes to split his skull by way of the tire-iron. She plucks it from the canvas then moves in while Alana makes a move of her own.

Her arm is yanked with all the strength Andre can muster, pulling Alana back up to the apron and towards the ropes she flips over. Connecting with a shoulder block to Cassidy’s throat, knocking her down to the canvas the tire-iron out of her hand.

Dollar: Alana SAVED by Andre.

Susie: I think her eyes were opened.

Dollar: While Andres were just torn right out of his skull.

The fired up Starr turns and finds herself eyeing the man she mistrusted, Andre, and grieving over her behavior towards him these past few weeks. At the same time Porno Lad and Katelyn Buehler are making eye contact as the former World Champion takes the good hand of his lover and kisses the knuckles once again.

Porno Lad: This is your moment….let’s make it happen.

Porno Lad and Buehler then turn with interlocked hands and charge straight at Hellkat going for a stereo lariat to knock her over the rope. However, Hellkat drops into a baseball slide under the arms which instead go traveling right into the throat of Kordelia. The lariat sends Price spilling back and through the ropes.

Dollar: And Kordelia Price is gone.

Susie: Erm….question…

Dollar: This better not be about My Little Pony.

Susie: Never-mind then.

Dollar: Well wait, I think Kordy went THROUGH the ropes and not over them.

Both Porno Lad AND Buehler look towards one another and SHRUG in response to their unintentional blow on Price….who is actually celebrating at ringside.

Kordy: That was soooo cool….that was soooo awesome.

The simultaneous shrugging concludes once Buehler and Lad turn into a simultaneous front dropkick from Hellkat. Both boots hit both chests, sending both combatants staggering back and spilling over the ropes.

Dollar: Did Hellkat just eliminate both Lad and Buehler at once?

Nope….they managed to grab the ropes, Porno Lad doing so with BOTH hands, while Buehler is handicapped to just utilizing one. They float over and land on the apron, starting to stand up while Hellkat moves in and throws a forearm over the ropes into Porno Lad’s jaw, rattling his teeth. At the same time Gary is moving across the canvas, making a quick jaunt in Buehler’s direction only for her to swing her cast covered hand over the ropes right into the inbound jaw of her opponent.

Matt turns away and staggers right into Alana, who catches him by the back of the head and charges him towards the ropes….ropes that Andre has dropped down and is now low bridging. Starr throws him over but Gary grabs the top cable on the way over and finds his legs precariously dangling over the mats.

Dollar: Andre and Alana trying to eliminate Gary, but he’s holding on…he’s hanging in there.

On the other side of the ring Porno Lad has turned his back on Hellkat and grabbed her around the neck, dropping to his seat across the apron and delivering a variant on the stunner that snaps his opponent’s chin back off the top rope.

She goes tumbling to the canvas while Porno Lad rolls into the ring, finding himself standing across from Buehler.

Andre rolls into the ring, finding himself standing across from Alana.

Porno Lad gets to his feet and tentatively approaches Buehler.

Andre gets to his feet and tentatively approaches Starr.

Porno Lad opens his arms and Buehler walks right into them, the two embracing in a hug.

Andre opens his arms and Starr walks right into them, the two embracing in a hug.

An ‘awwww’ is expressed from the crowd at the sight of this simultaneous snuggle session….that doesn’t last very long.

10, 9, 8….

Buehler and Porno Lad turn and glare across the ring at Andre and Alana. As the match has pretty much come down too these two reunited couples.

Dollar: We’ve got another entrant on their way to the ring, but before we get to that, it looks like these star crossed lovers are on the verge of fighting it out.

Susie: Maybe they’re going to fight over who has the most emotional love affair.

Dollar: I’m on Team Starr.

Susie: Well I’m on Team Buehler.

The four rush to the center of the ring and begin exchanging rights and lefts with one another to a loud reaction from the crowd. Starr’s forearm repeatedly drills Porno Lad under the jaw, shutting his disgusting mouth….while Buehler and Jordan are now exchanging knife edge chops across each other’s sternums. Buehler then whips around with her arm brace only for Andre to duck it, grab the back of her skull and push her along into the ropes. Katelyn bounces off and spins around into the KTFO only to have Jordan duck the roaring elbow aided by the arm cast.

At the same time Starr gets a rake of the eyes, making her feel Andre’s pain as she staggers back, putting enough distance between the pair for Porno Lad to spin around into the Epic Fail. But Starr does a crab-walk posture, arching completely over backwards the boot sails over her face and connects with the braced hand of Buehler just as she was swinging around into the roaring elbow.

Dollar: Hahahahaa, yes….YES!

Susie: I don’t know who got the worse on that one.

Dollar: Epic Fail and KTFO connecting…with EACH OTHER!

The kick almost shatters the plaster and causes Buehler to double over, screeching in agony as she reaches for her arm. At the same time Porno Lad is leaping up and down on one foot, his other aching horribly, toes possibly broken after the kick to the plaster. Alana then bounces off the ropes to build momentum while Andre is doing the same on the opposite side of the ring. The two go airborne, flying with cross-bodies at their respective targets…..

Just then Kordelia slides into the ring, grabs both Porno Lad’s and Buehler’s ankles and trips them forward so that Alana and Andre can go sailing over their opponents and end up crashing into each other instead.

Susie: DOUBLE IMPACT! Just not of the awesome Van Damme variety.

Dollar: That was a nasty bump from both Andre and Alana…and what the hell is Kordelia doing in there still?

Suise: I’m pretty sure she’s not an actual participant in this Rumble, Johnny, she’s a weapon, remember.

…..3, 2, 1….BUUUUUZZZZZ!

As the many athletes in the ring look to regain their functions someone else looks to take advantage of their predicament. But that person will not be revealed until after cameras have shifted to the backstage area, capturing the chaos in the gorilla position as opposed to in the ring.

Cameras capture both Gunner Bryant and Layla Storm in a position they’ve grown quite accustomed to….lying flat on their asses….bodies being brutalized by stomping blows. And who are the latest individuals to transform these two newcomers into punching bags? Why….it just so happens to be Rain and Brandy Danielle, who are pulverizing the pair. With a chair in hand Rain repeatedly swings steel over the back of Gunner until he is no longer moving and the ball he had gripped in his hand is released, rolling to Brandy’s feet.

Brandy: I’ll take that.

She grabs Gunner’s number while Rain pries Layla’s fingers apart and takes her number as well. He then drags her by that same hand to her feet and then whips her skull first into the plaster wall, cracking it around her head.

Rain: And I believe this now belongs to me.

He grips the ball in on hand a chair in the other.

Brandy: You should run along sweetheart, your audience is waiting.

The two step in and their lips connect over the mangled bodies of both Gunner and Layla.

Dollar: What did we just see?

Susie: Looks to me like End Effect have just stolen Gunner Bryant’s and Layla Storm’s Rumble spots.

Dollar: Why in the hell would they want to do that…..their spots aren’t very favorable.

Porno Lad and Katelyn Buehler are fighting their way to their feet in the center of the ring at the same time that Andre Jordan and Alana Starr are. Just then Gary swoops in and takes Andre and Alana by their necks, while Hellkat moves in and applies a simultaneous front chancery on the heads of Lad and Katelyn.

Kordelia and Cassidy race in to break up whatever Gary and Hellkat have in mind. But Kat bends down and catches Kordy with a back drop while at the same time Gary ducks his head and hits a back drop on Cassidy. He then drops into a stereo DDT while Hellkat does the same, the two laying out four opponents.

KICK IN THE TEETH

….Effectively kills the vibe as it plays over the PA system. Rain emerges from the back gripping hold of a steel chair that has already done significant damage, but will now inflict even more.

Dollar: Apparently this is going to be permitted…we’re supposed to be seeing Layla Storm right now, but instead its Rain….with a steel chair.

Susie: Meh….are you surprised? They pretty much let anyone do whatever the hell they want around here.

Dollar: Valid point.

Rain’s chair is destined for ONE head….a potentially concussed one at that. Gary stands up just as the chair swings right into his skull, the steel bouncing right off of his cranium. Rain then lines up and rushes right at Hellkat with the chair, smacking her in the back of the skull with it and knocking her into the ropes. She turns and falls against the cables while Rain sets up the chair and then rushes into the opposite cables. He bounces off, gets a running start and turns the chair into a launching pad, leaping right into a leg lariat to the throat of a shaken Hellkat. Both athletes go flipping over the top rope yet manage to grab the cable simultaneously. They then end up landing on the apron with Hellkat barely holding onto the rope to prevent an elimination.

She then gets up just as Rain steps in and begins to pummel her to the forehead with jab after jab, determined to knock her off…both literally and metaphorically….because the second she falls to the mats she’s eliminated.

Dollar: Hellkat holding on for dear life.

Susie: She’s the embodiment of that poster I have on my wall at home, with the cat hanging on the wire.

Cassidy and Kordy have reached their feet, the protégés working in tandem to eliminate the Alana. They have honed in on their target and have seized her by the hair, dragging her into the ropes and trying to push her over. Much like Hellkat, Starr clings to the ropes for dear life, wrapping her whole body around the top cable, every limb gripping tightly.

A limping Porno Lad spots Gary lying on the canvas, eyes awkwardly blinking, that concussion perhaps aggravated AGAIN after a shot to the skull from the chair. This opportunity is one Lad cannot possibly pass up, swooping in and grabbing Gary by the hair, then methodically dragging him up to his feet.

Porno Lad: Nothing personal….Gar-Bear.

Surprisingly Lad doesn’t go for the elimination, instead he runs across the ring and leaps into the air, dropping Gary skull first across the seat of the steel chair.

Dollar: If Gary wasn’t concussed before…now he DEFINITELY is!

But Lad still isn’t done….wanting to make his participation in this Rumble truly memorable…via the total destruction of Gary Matt. He drags him up and then rushes in for another bulldog into the chair. Porno Lad’s feet leave the canvas, but to his dismay it’s not of his own accord. Matt heaves Lad up into the air onto his shoulder and then throws him across the ring, where he lands spine first across the chair. The steel collapses under Porno Lad’s body that then goes writhing across the canvas.

Dollar: Looks like Gary is a bit better off than he earlier appeared.

Susie: He’s a good actor….I would of thought for sure that he was still concussed.

Dollar: Yes….a very good actor.

Rain gives up eliminating Hellkat and now slides into the ring snatching up the chair from beneath the mutilated body of Porno Lad. He pulls the chair up and just begins to rush at Gary only to have a big boot connect with the opposite side of the steel, driving it right back into Rain’s masked face.

Dollar: CHAIR to Rain’s face….getting just a taste of what he’s been dishing out.

Rain collapses to his back clutching his skull after Gary AGAIN makes him regret introducing a chair into their match….at least this time he didn’t go through one via the Brain Damage though….one tender mercy.

After delivering the boot Gary goes twisting into the ropes, falling onto them for support. Meanwhile behind his back Andre is taking hold of the chair and is rushing towards his prone opposition. Gary looks up just in time to see the steel careening towards his skull, prompting him to step aside at the last second. The chair bonces off the top rope as a result and then comes flying back right into Andre’s face. Jordan looks staggered but hasn’t released the chair…a crucial mistake on his part. Gary steps in, delivers a boot to Jordan’s stomach and then drops back spiking Andre with a DDT right onto the steel he was still clutching in his palms.

Dollar: DDT onto the chair!

Susie: Gary managing to avoid everyone trying to take that chair to his head….staving off a potential concussion.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6….

Alana continues to cling to the ropes for dear life while Cassidy and Kordy struggle with all their worth to eliminate her. Surprisingly Katelyn steps in, grabs the top rope and wedges a boot to the side of Alana’s face, trying to push her over as well.

Dollar; And now Buehler is trying to help eliminate Starr as well.

Susie: She’s already been in there for a while….exhaustion is probably taking its effect at this point.

Dollar: She and Andre BOTH have been in this match since the beginning…..but Starr won’t be in there for much longer….And neither will ANDRE!

Jordan is back on his feet….thanks to Gary, who coerces him to an upright base as he now tries to force him over the cables. Much like Starr, Jordan is holding onto the top rope with all of his appendages, even wrapping his toes around the cable if that’s what it takes to keep from being eliminated. Hellkat watches all of this before having an epiphany, eyes shooting towards the ring rope she brought into the match earlier. She slides across the ring and begins to gather it up while the timer ticks down to zero.

BUUUUZZZ

The alarm sounds and KICK IN THE TEETH pipes through the speakers AGAIN! Instead of seeing Gunner Bryant, we feast our eyes upon Brandy Danielle, who is having little difficulty carrying a table down the ramp with her.

Dollar: And there was no mystery to the next entrant….Brandy Danielle on her way to the ring AND she’s bringing a table along with her.

Susie: Just like the table that Adams put YOU through….

Dollar: And Jackson put Rain through it as well….hahahahaha.

Susie: Think those table spots are gonna come back to haunt Adams.

The table is situated directly and symbolically at ringside, the same area where it was positioned for the destruction of both Rain and Dollar. She then slides into the ring and races to Rain’s side, bending down and slapping his cheek several times, trying to get him to regain his focus after that big boot to the chair.

All the while Hellkat has discreetly made her way over to the turnbuckle, sliding through the ropes to the apron. She begins to wrap the rope around and around and around the turnbuckle as well as around her own body. Once the rope has been wrapped about her stomach several times she ties it to make sure there is no way she can be eliminated.

Dollar: Oh wow…this is brilliant strategy on Hellkat’s part, she’s TYING herself to the turnbuckle.

Susie: You can’t get eliminated if your tied to the ring.

A Hellkat chant has started as she crosses her arms as she assumes the role of spectactor. Somehow else intently watching this action is Taylor Chase, who stirs in her throne, unaware of what’s going to happen next…..left in a state of perpetual suspense.

And what could happen next are the simultaneous eliminations of both number and number two, Alana and Andre, who desperately cling to the ropes like embedded ticks. Gary seems to be on the verge of forcing Jordan over only to have Porno Lad crawl in behind him and deliver a blatant low blow right to his crotch. Gary grimaces in pain before curling to the canvas around his damaged junk.

Dollar: Did you see that!?! A BLATANT low blow from the ‘Mega-Face.’

Susie: Nothing else has stopped Gary tonight, might as well as stoop to new lows.

Brandy aids Rain to his feet and the two immediately take notice of the ailing Matt, diabolical grins forming on their faces. They swoop in and begin to deliver stomps and forearms to his body.

Dollar: And now this pack of hyenas are feasting on the scraps.

Susie: The issues between Gary Matt and the End Effect have been ongoing for ages now, and they’re looking to take him out while they have such a golden opportunity.

Rain: STAND HIM UP!

Danielle takes Gary’s arm and uses it to lead him to an upright base just as Rain steps in, takes him around the neck then snaps back into the Drowning Current. Gary’s face collides with the canvas and his body goes totally limp at this point, his concussion issues once again resurfacing.

Brandy: Let’s get rid of this trash!

Rain and Brandy grab Gary by the arms, lead him up to his feet and then simultaneously rush him towards the ropes, throwing him over. Once again Gary wraps hands around the ropes though and then comes down on the apron as opposed to the outside mats….staving off elimination once more.

Dollar: How in the hell is Gary still doing this?

Susie: The same way he did in that four on one handicapped match on the last Riot!…..

Dollar: Where he picked up the win in spite of a potential concussion.

Rain and Brandy have already turned their sights to another target. They rush in behind Porno Lad, snatch hold of his shoulders, spin him around and deliver a double leaping back heel kick to his jaw that sends him staggering into and then spilling through the ropes. Rain turns and notices Andre holding onto the ropes with his arms and his legs tightly intertwined about the cable. He rushes in and delivers a basement dropkick right to Jordan’s temple, knocking him off the rope and down onto the apron, coming incredibly close to losing his grip. He maintains a clutch on the top rope while his legs kick above the mats…..JUST managing to hang in there.

Buehler takes notice of End Effect working together and now looks to disrupt their plans. She rushes in and delivers a big leaping heel kick to a recovering Rain’s face, taking him right back down to the canvas. At the same time Danielle rushes in and Buehler ducks whatever she had in mind…that being a double axehandle. Instead Kordelia turns and gets smashed in the face by the interlocked hands of Danielle, who spins around just as Buehler snatches hold of the ever so mangled steel chair.

She picks it up and throws it with all her might right at Brandy’s face. But she ducks, the chair traveling straight into Cassidy’s head instead. Haze turns just in time to get a mouthful of steel that knocks her down into the ropes.

The one person who benefits from this is, Alana, who manages to slide down onto the apron and continue holding onto the ropes. Just then Buehler comes barreling towards Brandy, bending forward for a spear only to get a knee to the jaw that stands her back up. Danielle then steps back, slapping her leg before closing the gap with a superick right to Buehler’s jaw, knocking her down and knocking her out.

10, 9, 8….

Dollar: End Effect clearing the ring….and with good timing to boot.

Susie: Yes, because we all know who randomly drew number 12.

Alana steadies herself on the apron and then springs to the top rope and comes flying off towards Brandy. Just as she is about to have her head caved in with a flying double axehandle, Rain rushes in and shoves Danielle out of the way so that he can catch the inbound Starr around the neck. He then snaps back into the Drowning Current.

Dollar: And there goes Starr….falling prey to the Drowning Current as well.

….5, 4, 3, 2….

After taking out everyone in the ring, Hellkat withstanding, Rain and Brandy get to their feet and stand in the middle of the ring, bent forward in anticipation of Jackson Adams’ arrival.

Rain: Come on Jackson….face the consequences for your actions.

Brandy: These ‘newbies’ are going to prove why we’re the most feared athletes in all of professional wrestling.

1….BUUUUZZZ

Dollar: Rain and Brandy have both literally and metaphorically set the table for Jackson’s arrival. They’ve knocked out everyone in the ring, meaning it’s just gonna be the two of them and Adams.

Susie: Revenge on Rain’s part for going through that table.

Anticipation is building as the camera cuts from the table to the anxious faces of Danielle and Rain, who lay in wait to spring their trap.

Rain: I told you, Jackson, where there’s a will, there’s a way. We made sure you’d face our wrath tonight.

Brandy: Stop waiting Adams and get your ass out here!

Music finally hits the PA systems and instantly removes the smiles from both faces of the End Effect members. They go quite pale when the curtains part and through them steps a seven foot, three hundred pound goliath.

Dollar: THAT is NOT Jackson Adams.

Susie: No it isn’t.

Dollar: That’s newcomer Tyson Galloway.

Susie: But…but….I thought Jackson has number 12.

Dollar: Me thinks some type of bargain was struck in the eleventh hour. Adams had to know that Rain and Brandy would pull some type of trickery to make sure they got hold of Jackson.

Susie: So he set them up? Brilliant.

Arthur Cross moves out behind his client with a giant smirk on his face as he follows his silent big man towards the ring. Brandy and Rain are arguing with one another, wondering what the hell happened….how they managed to be outsmarted by the conniving Adams. They have little time to resolve their issues as the behemoth known as Galloway climbs up onto the apron and steps over the top rope.

Dollar: Jesus….this man is HUGE.

Susie: And it’s that size that’ll make him an odds on favorite to win tonight’s Rumble.

Dollar: He might be new….which would normally put you at a disadvantage in your first match, but not in the Rumble….and not with this type of size.

The gargantuan Montgomery is just entering the ring when Rain and Brandt pounce upon him, getting over their frustrations in order to take out their frustrations on the big man. A wild barrage of punches and kicks are connecting with Kyle, backing him up into the ropes while both of his attackers bend down and each hook a leg, trying to force him up and over cables.

Tyson thwarts this attempt, reaching down and palming the head of Danielle then throwing her back like she were nothing. He manages get BOTH palms around Rain’s skull, squeezing it until it almost implodes, then dragging him into a devastating headbutt. The masked man collapses to the ring while Brandy rises to her feet. She then comes rushing right into the foot of Galloway, getting his boot right up into the bridge of her nose, knocking her to the canvas amidst a huge reaction from the crowd.

Rain then takes his shot at Tyson, rushing in to take advantage of his turned back. With shocking speed and grace, Tyson spins around and leaps shoulder first into Rain’s ribs with a gut busting spear.

Dollar: What a spear by this giant of a man.

Susie: Do you think he can fit in a Toyota Yaris, or would have to stick his head out through the sunroof?

Dollar: One of your many quandaries I have absolutely no interest in answering.

Though they barely know Galloway, the fans are already cheering him on, as he instantly turns heads here in his debut. The shockingly quick giant gets to his feet just as Porno Lad and Kordy charge in behind him, delivering forearms and kicks to his back and the creases of his knees. Porno Lad manages to bring Tyson down with a big double axehandle to the shoulder blades and then pushes him along into the turnbuckle, Galloway twisting as he falls to his seat against the corner. Porno Lad immediately grabs HIS weapon, the wrist of Price and shouts instructions into her ear.

Porno Lad: Now really put your crotch into it this time.

Kordy: Yes Master!

Kordy is shot right into a blockbuster, leaping into the air and doing as instructed, throwing her crotch right into Tyson’s face. But before she can even connect with the blockbuster Galloway reaches up and catches her around the waist. He then stands up from a seated position with a stunned Kordy loaded right on top of his shoulders. He then puts is hands to her hips and pushes her over into a moonsault. An obnoxious Porno Lad is spinning in circles bragging endlessly.

Porno Lad: See what happens when you follow my direction?

He finds out EXACTY what happens, turning just as Price crashes down into his shoulder, the two of them going down to the canvas.

Galloway steps over the two with fists to his hips and his head shaking. Eyes then turn towards his agent, who slides a baton from his back pocket and flicks it so that the weapon extends completely.

Dollar: Oh man…he actually DOES have a weapon?

Susie: I thought Galloway was a weapon in and of himself…a weapon who probably can’t even make it through a doorway without doing the limbo.

Galloway approaches the weapon being slid into him, but in the process exposes his spine to a chair wielding Jordan. Andre steps in and swings the steel directly into Galloway’s kidneys. The big man stands up and then turns towards Jordan, swinging around with his boot only to have Andre duck in the nick of time.

The momentum of the missed kick sends Galloway spinning completely around right into the swinging fist of Gary Matt, who has a chain wrapped about his knuckles. But Tyson not only dodges, but pushes Matt’s arm along by the elbow so that his fist nails Andre between the eyes.

Jordan staggers back into the ropes and hits them just as Galloway grabs the back of Gary’s head and rushes him towards the ropes, throwing him over at the same time that he delivers a lariat to Jordan’s throat. Both men go flying over the cables but NEITHER is eliminated.

Hearts jump into throats, and people leave their seats expecting to see a double elimination, but they don’t as Gary and Andre find a way to grab hold of the ropes.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Dollar: Galloway is taking everyone out right now!

Susie: I wonder if whomever is coming out here next knows what they’re getting themselves into.

5, 4….

Galloway isn’t through with his destruction, turning towards Alana and Cassidy, who are delivering chops and punches to one another’s already worn bodies. Galloway steps in, takes them BOTH around the back of their heads and drives his own skull into their craniums. The simultaneous headbutt puts both Starr and Haze to the canvas.

Susie: This guy is just unstoppable.

Dollar: He hasn’t even had to make use of that weapon he was provided by his agent Arthur Cross, who really discovered a gem here.

Indeed, Arthur has brought in a true blue chipper, one he watches with a giant smirk on his face as he systematically decimates everyone in the ring. There doesn’t seem to be anyone capable of stopping him as he turns his snarling face in circles to survey the damage done before finally setting eyes on the entry way.

…2, 1….. BUUUUZZZZ.

Dollar: Who’s gonna be the next guy to come out here and face Galloway’s wrath?

Susie: I pitty the fuhl, who’s gonna step into the ring with this guy.

The arena lights suddenly seem to go out, the mournful tolling of a bell, backed by a strange, faintly discordant sound echo throughout the blackened emptiness. The bell, and the sounds of stringed instruments that nearly sound like the bussing of some sort of hellish insect, sound once again. And again. And again. A proper melody ensues, faint at first, but with each repetition, each tolling of the bell the shriek grows louder. And louder. And louder.

With each new cycle of sound light returns to the IWC arena, hideous, red-orange light. The Jumobtron sheds its own darkness, a burning circle of flame appearing, each toll of the bell drawing more and more symbols, sigils, and geometric signs.

And then suddenly electric guitars join the melody as the Fictional Infernal Megamix of Slayer’s “South of Heaven” kicks into high gear, columns of flame exploding upon the entry ramp. The detonation seems to have cleared the summoning symbols from the Jumbotron.

An unforseen future nestled somewhere in time
Unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs.
Judgment day the second coming arrives.
Before you see the light you must die.

Just as the lyrics kick in, something emerges from the Jumbotron. The blade of a massive sword has pierced the projection screen, gouging open a hole. Backlit by infernal light, mist and smoke seethes through the gash as the blade retreats. Taloned fingers reach through the gap, tearing open an entrance into the world as the Anthropomorphic Personification of Hatred, Legion, is summoned into being once again.

He steps out onto Jumbotron’s scaffolding, covered in plate mail from head to toe, the hideous style the same as the gauntlet normally worn on his left hand. The inhuman wrecking machine called fully into being, the likes of which have not been seen since his debut.

Cameras zoom in on the powerhouse of the Black Crusade as he grips his blade in both hands, pointing it downward. He raises the hilt over his head and steps forward. The massive zweihander plunges through the stage, the arena almost seeming to shake as another detonation of flame erupts on the sides of the stage.

SATAN! (SATAN!)
BEELZEBUB! (BEELZEBUB!)
LEVIATHAN! (LEVIATHAN!)
ASMODEUS! (ASMODEUS!)
ABADDON! (ABADDON!)

Legion draws himself up from his kneeling position, his hateful, glowing red eyes slowly surveying the arena before him as he stands stock still, taking on the pose seen so commonly in displayed armor, allowing the cameras to zoom in and catch every detail of his monstrous appearance. Each dark hued plate seems more like chitin, an insectoid carapace, instead of metal or plastic.

He draws up his sword with one hand, resting it upon his shoulder as he walks to the ring, sliding his weapon into the ring before rolling in after it. Legion stands in the middle of the ring, his sword in his left hand as he raises the massive weapon over his head. The exact same motion he makes every time he enters the ring, right down to the tilting motions of his head.

Dollar: You were saying?

Susie: Its Legion….it’s the beast of the deep….the scariest thing to happen to planet earth since Lady Gaga opened her mouth.

Dollar: And he’s bringing a gigantic sword to the ring with him as his weapon.

Susie: Their not gonna let him use that are they?

Dollar: It might be the only thing that can cut Tyson down to size.

The enormous Galloway glares across the ring into the red orbs of Legion’s eyes. The crowd is positively frothing at their mouths in anticipation of seeing monster versus monster.

Dollar: Good lord, this is going to be like Godzilla versus King Kong….

Susie: Its gonna be like Roseanne Barr versus Gabourey Sidibe.

Dollar: The two biggest men on this roster about to collide.

The huge sword lowers to Legion’s side before ultimately finding its way down to the canvas. It appears that he brought it along as a mere intimidation tactic, which worked to momentarily stun Galloway. But now that it’s out of the way, Tyson summons the courage to take a few fateful steps towards the epitome of fear. The overwhelming surge of excitement continues to build as Legion and Tyson come face to face, eye to eye, nose to nose, neither man saying a word considering its their actions that will do all the speaking on their behalf.

Knuckles clinch and this brawl between giant brutes is about to happen when the entirety of the other Rumble combatants leap into the fray. Rain, Brandy, Gary, Andre, Alana, Cassidy and Price all leap upon the two men….while Hellkat watches….still tied to the ropes, and Buehler observes these occurrences from the corner…refusing to participate in this attack on Legion.

Dollar: Right idea here….everyone jumping the two biggest men in this Rumble match.

Susie: Yep….get them out of the ring first and then go back to working on each other.

Clubbing blows rain down on the bodies of both Legion and Galloway, bringing the behemoths to their knees. Their opponents then reach down to seize hold of every available limb in order to pull the two up when suddenly Tyson and Legion lunge to their feet and throw aside everyone who was victimizing them.

Alana, Andre, Porno Lad, Price….they all go flying across the ring, flung into corners, ropes and canvas, bodies tossed in all directions. The snarling Galloway then steps back up into the masked face of the N.H.B Champion. And without further delay Tyson throws the first punch, stumbling Legion, who collects himself just in time to nail an uppercut strike of his own.

Galloway stumbles back, plants his feet and then rushes in with a big boot that Legion catches. He throws the foot aside and then steps in with a shuffle side kick that Tyson catches right before it nails him to the jaw. He pushes it down as well, sending Legion into a spin, turning back to face the palm of Galloway that wraps directly around his throat.

Dollar: Tyson actually about to CHOKESLAM Legion.

Susie: Unreal.

No chokeslam connects because Legion manages to get his own palm up and wrap it around Tysons larynx. The fans are going absolutely nuts at the sight of both Legion and Galloway fighting for dominance.

Dollar: But now Legion is going for the chokeslam!

Susie: My goodness, I hope they provided extra support for the ring tonight.

Legion and Galloway manage to do nothing but strangle one another as they fight to unleash the chokeslam. But suddenly a chain wrapped fist connects with the back of Legion’s head, swung by Porno Lad, while a steel chair bounces off the upper back of Galloway..a blow delivered by a recovered Andre.

Dollar: Looks like we’re not going to find out which man is the most dominant.

Susie: The rest of the roster interfering before we could find out who’s the best biggee…that has to shop in the big and tall section at Kohls.

Dollar: Yeah, I hardly think Legion shops at Kohls….Funky Fusion maybe, but definitely not Kohls.

A smirking Porno Lad backs up and points to the chain on his fist while shouting towards the crowd.

Porno Lad: The only time I’ll ever use a weapon to my advantage people, and only because I’m playing by the rules and wish to entertain you….my loyal….ardent IWC faithful…..

The bragging concludes the moment Lad finally notices that Legion was not felled by the blow to the back of his skull. In fact, it only seems to have enraged the N.H.B Champion, who turns his soulless eyes to the Original Prankster. Porno Lad looks like he just shat a kitten, the chain sliding off of his fist to the canvas, and then promptly kicked aside. His palms extend towards Legion, trying to explain himself.

10, 9, 8…

Susie: Another entrant already?

Dollar: Welll to be fair, Legion’s entrance did take u about a minute and a half of the Rumble.

Susie: But WHAT an entrance.

Porno Lad makes a feeble attempt at saving his life as Legion menacingly encroaches upon his personal space. Now the Prankster turns and shouts towards Buehler, who has been silently watching from the corner.

Porno Lad: Kate…PLEASE!

It takes much prompting before Buehler sighs and shockingly puts herself between Lad and Legion. To an even more stunning response, she puts her palms on Legion’s chest, trying to PHYSICALLY restrain the N.H.B Champion.

Buehler: PLEASE forgive him, Legion….he’s an idiot.

Porno Lad: Yeah!

He finds the strength to speak…albeit from behind Buehler’s back.

Porno Lad: What SHE said….you big FREAK!

No amount of coercion will spare Porno Lad from the wrath of Legion at this point. The mastodon moves in to crush his prey only to have Lad SHOVE Buehler into the massive pecs of the N.H.B Champion and then high tail it from the ring.

Dollar: Another DISGUTING act from Porno Lad….he may put woman down so often, but he sure has no qualms about using them as forms of protection.

Susie: Just like earlier, when he pulled BMW into the way of that baseball bat.

Dollar: Don’t even remind me about that absolutely SICKENING act.

…7, 6, 5…..

The countdown continues while the action escalates within the ring. Galloway is seated on the middle rope with Andre repeatedly driving he top edge of the chair into his ribs and into his jaw. Currently Alana is trying to force Cassidy out of the ring, their paths crossing once again. She has Haze loaded on her shoulders and leans back into the ropes, trying her best to push her over out of the fireman’s carry into an elimination. At the same time Gary has hold of Rain, trying to force him over the ropes by way of wrapping his arms around the End Effect member’s thigh, hoisting up on it while the masked man wraps his arms around the top cable, clinging tight.

….4, 3, 2….

Legion tilts his head and glares down at Buehler, and then towards the exterior of the ring at Porno Lad.

Buehler: I know…I know….he’s an insufferable ass.

…1….BUUUUZZZ.

The crowd is BEYOND excited as Deine Lakaien’s “Song for a mad Choir Singer” plays through the speakers, unleashing, too much ballyhoo, Banjo Playing Ron upon the world. He steps out strumming the banjo, which serves a simultaneous purpose, both providing a wonderfully enchanting melody and serving as a weapon. One that he puts to immediate use once he reaches the end of the ramp, grabs a smirking Porno Lad by the shoulder, spins him around and smashes the banjo directly over his head.

Shards of wood fly in all different directions, dispersing around the skull of a now unconscious Prankster.

Dollar: Banjo Playing Ron making his entrance and BOY was it ever a grand one.

Susie: Awww….that banjo produced a wonderful tune…especially when it wrapped around Ethan’s noggin.

Dollar: Music to my ears.

The crowd is mesmerized by the tune as well…..elating at the sight of the banjo…or what’s left of it….hanging around Lad’s neck as he sits absent mindedly on the mats. Ron then rolls into the ring and instantly rushes towards Alana, trying to help her force Haze out of the ring.

As Ron enters, Kordelia exits, looking horrified at the plight of Porno Lad, who she tries to fan off via the towel in her hands.

Dollar: I don’t think that’s going to help him, Kordy.

Susie: Then what will?

Dollar: A massive lobotomy for one.

Kordy laments over the destruction of Porno Lad, desperately trying to lend aid to her benefactor. He’s not the only one in need of aid, considering Legion has finally broken away from Buehler, turning in time to spot Rain and Brandy charging in, the End Effect trying to get the better of him.

But Legion suddenly reaches out with both hands, catching Brandy and Rain with simultaneous Five Finger Crawls. Their heads feel like their skulls are about to explode in the grips of the massive N.H.B Champion. But his task is not completed thanks to Galloway, who rushes in and delivers the Cannon Shot Spear, taking Legion off of his feet and breaking the simultaneous submission hold.

Dollar: There’s that IMPRESSIVE spear from Galloway!

Susie; And it actually took Legion down….I thought only a Sherman tank was capable of that.

There is quite the uproar in response to this devastating spear from Galloway, who stands up thumping his fist against his chest. That fist then finds its way into the jaw of Buehler, who steps in to step up for Legion. The shot sends Katelyn twisting into the corner while Rain and Brandy show their appreciation of Galloway’s help by attacking him when is back is turned. Forearms to the spine send Galloway staggering towards the ropes and falling against them.

After bludgeoning the man who makes the term ‘big’ quite the understatement, the End Effect turn their attention towards Banjo Playing Ron…or more accurately, Ron turns their focus to him. He spins Brandy around and drills her to the jaw with a right hand, then spins around, does some juking and jiving, then nails Rain to his cheek. More juking and jiving, with the Charleston actually mixed in, serves as an interlude between a bionic elbow to Rain’s skull and a European Uppercut to the Danielle’s chest.

Dollar; BPR has got the End Effect reeling.

Susie: And he’s doing it with such style….I wish I could dance half as good as this guy….but whenever I TRY….I end up looking like an epileptic suffering a seizure.

A right hand is thrown in defense by Brandy, but is ducked by Ron. Danielle then spins around and gets clocked to the forehead after Ron does the splits before leaping back to his feet. The shot sends Brandy stumbling back and getting caught in the arms of Rain, who desperately tries to hold her up.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Dollar: And we’re about to have ANOTHER entrant, even though there’s only been ONE elimination thus far.

Susie: What is the weight capacity for that ring? Because I think it’s about to be exceeded.

With Brandy’s back to Rain’s ribs, the two charge out of the ropes at Ron, who baseball slides between both sets of legs and causes the two to go rushing into a big boot from Galloway that connects with the faces of the End Effect members.

Dollar: That boot big enough to catch both faces of the End Effect.

Immediately after delivering the big boot Galloway turns right into an attempted lariat from Gary Matt. But the giant shows a surprising adeptness for technical wrestling, by bending down and catching the back of Matt’s knee, ripping the leg out from beneath him. Gary collapses to his back with his leg still caught in the arm of Galloway, who is about to turn him over into a Crab. But Katelyn tries to interfere, rushing in and grabbing Tyson around the neck before snapping back into a DDT, that fails to connect, Galloway rooting his feet to the canvas. He then reaches down and hooks the crease of Buehler’s leg before turning both of his opponents over into simultaneous leg crabs.

Dollar: And Tyson showing that he has the ability to technical wrestle as…AAAHHH.

A HUGE shuffle side kick from Legion nails Galloway directly on the temple, knocking the behemoth to the canvas.

Susie: A little tit for tat there….Though I can’t imagine very many woman have tats on their tits….would just look weird.

Dollar: Could that kick have been anymore sickening?

Susie: I don’t see how.

The brain rattling blow proved effective for the N.H.B Champion.

3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ.

The crowd reacts excitedly at the tunes of the Beejees. The disco ball has lowered into position and now That Disco Ninja is dancing his way down the ramp right past Porno Lad and the amateur medic, Kordelia.

Dollar: Oh lord….the masked Disco Ninja making his/her way to the ring.

Susie: Prepare for a Pants Off Dance Off.

Actually that might be JUST what the fans receive as That Disco Ninja gyrates right up behind Ron and removes one of his rubber weapons….this one of the Chinese star variety. He flings it into the back of BPR….but the shot seems to be intended to get Ron’s attention as opposed to inflicting grave physical harm upon him. The Banjo Player swings around and before throwing a blow hesitates in order to hear Disco communicate through interpretive dance. The hired gun steps back and is apparently challenging Ron to a dance off right here….right now.

Dollar: Oh no…not a dance off…not in the middle of the Rumble!

Susie: Anything can happen in the Rumble, Johnny…anything.

Dollar: Yeah, we’re beginning to learn that.

Disco begins to do a series of hip shakes, cartwheels, and Bunny Slopes to the tunes of the Stayin’ Alive, which are now being belted through the PA system. At the same time, Ron is doing his own version of the ‘Russians Are Coming’ stooping down and kicking his legs. The fans are delighted by this dance off that only ends when Andre Jordan rushes in to throw a fist to Disco’s face. But Ninja leaps back and causes Jordan to hesitate, just like Ron.

Jordan’s fist lowers to his side before thrusting into the air. He now begins to moonwalk to a huge reaction from the crowd, participating simultaneously in the Rumble AND the dance off.

Dollar: Oh God…now Andre Jordan is dancing too?

Susie: Not just dancing…he’s JIVING ya turkey.

Ron goes back to doing the Charleston, while Disco Ninja is doing some pirouettes and Jordan proceeds with his moonwalk. A fired up Gary Matt dashes in towards Ron, on the verge of delivering a lariat only to have the Banjo Player lunge back and lift palms defensively. It takes a moment but Gary drops his fist and then falls to the canvas, doing the WORM to a massive reaction from the crowd.

Dollar: Now GARY too!

Susie: White boy ain’t got no rhythm.

Dollar: He really must be concussed if he thinks he can dance.

As Gary does the worm, Ron does the Charleston, Andre does the moonwalk and several other Michael Jackson inspired dance-steps, and Ninja discos away as ‘The Hustle’ pipes through the loud speakers. A recovered Katelyn Buehler assumes the role of killjoy, bringing an end to this rhythmic display as she rushes in with her cast to cave in Disco Ninja’s face. Or at least that’s what it looks like, because she transitions from swing into the Funky Chicken.

Dollar: Words….cannot…..even.

Susie: Forget the Rumble….winning the Dance Off is the ultimate prize.

The crowd is positively mystified at the sight of so many, dancing so horribly. Never has such a lack of rhythm been allowed on airwaves since the inaugural airing of Dancing With the Stars. The Worm, the Funky Chicken, the Charleston, the Hustle, the Moonwalk, all contained to the middle of the ring. And it doesn’t end there, considering that Kordelia Price is currently outside of the ring unable to resist an opportunity to Twerk.

Susie: Old school mixing with new school.

The fans are clapping and joining in with some of their own dance routines, as is Taylor Chase on the stage, who is currently doing the Elaine….of Seinfeld lore….The dance wars continue, with Ron now turning the Charleston into the….guitar shot from Porno Lad….The arm of the banjo is driven right into Ron’s ribs, doubling him over. Porno Lad then grabs him by the back of the head and furiously throws him towards the End Effect. Both Rain and Brandy catch the inbound Ron and back drop him over the ropes to the mats.

Susie: AWWWWW….why Lad….WHY?

Dollar: That son of a bastard! Leave it to him to kill the vibe.

Susie: Well…no one was paying attention to him….which is unacceptable.

The dancing does end after Ron’s elimination and now the fight is back on. Rain and Brandy stand up and knuckle bump in celebration of taking out Ron and then turn just as Disco Ninja moves in and blasts them both to their jaws with hard lefts.

Dollar: And Disco Ninja avenging Ron, taking it to the End Effect.

Punch after punch rifles off on both individual’s faces, before Ninja spins around and throws a lariat only to be caught around the neck by Rain, who is going for the Drowning Current. But Ninja delivers a back elbow to the skull of Rain, breaking up the attempt.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Ninja then spins around, grabs the back of Rain’s head and begins to charge him across the ring only to run right into the Epic Fail. The spinning superkick drills Disco Ninja right to the jaw, and knocks his teeth directly into his brain.

Somehow Ninja turns absent mindedly right into the waiting arms of Rain, who places him in a front chancery. Danielle steps in and mirrors her partner’s hold. The two then vertical suplex Disco Ninja over the top rope, sending him flipping over and crashing onto the shoulder of a recovered Ron, both men hitting the mats.

Dollar: And Disco Ninja is gone too.

Susie: The eliminations are starting to pile up. Everyone probably exhausted themselves via that Dance Off.

Rain and Brandy then step away from the ropes just as Gary races into the cables behind them, bouncing off to build some momentum. Both Brandy and Rain turn around as Gary leaps into a stereo lariat. They both manage to duck the clothesline that carries Gary directly into the waiting shoulders of Porno Lad. He stands up and then flips Gary over into the FU….the fireman’s carry slam DRIIVNG Gary down hard to the canvas and knocking all the air from his body.

….2, 1…..BUUUUZZZ.

”People Like Us” entices a loud response from the crowd as Lilly Lyman rushes out from the back and races down the ramp, clobbering Kordy with a bar of soap wrapped in a towel. She swings the bar as hard as he can, with skull cracking force over Price’s head.

Dollar: Lilly Lyman the next entrant, and she’s going RIGHT after Kordelia Price.

Price collapses to the canvas as Lil steals a scene straight out of Full Metal Jacket, repeatedly swinging the bar of soap into the kidneys and upper back of the woman who has disrespected female wrestlers the world over.

Within the ring the End Effect is closing in on the next prone victim, the Maniac.

Dollar: And it looks like Gary is going to be next victim of the buzzkill alliance.

Brandy and Rain grab the ankles of Matt and lift them into the air, rolling him over backwards onto his feet. They then snatch him by the back of his head, point simultaneously to the ropes and wave at the individual seated behind them. Taylor bemoans Gary’s plight, watching with mixed emotions as he’s charged into the ropes and thrown over.

But wait….no…Brandy and Rain run right into a simultaneous roaring elbow from Buehler, and a shuffle side kick from Legion.

Susie: Double Impact…just not the Van Damme….

Dollar: Yes….yes….you used that one already.

Susie: This is a long match…you can’t expect me to keep up with original material.

The shuffle side kick sends Rain spinning across the ring and getting caught right around the neck by Andre…while Brandy stumbles spine first into the shoulder of Gary. At basically the same time, Matt heaves Danielle into the air and back drops her over the ropes while Andre vertical suplexes Rain to the outside. Both Brandy AND Rain crash to the floor amidst a massive outpouring of cheers from the crowd.

Dollar: End Effect simultaneously eliminated……AAAAHHH YEAH!

Susie: Why must you take so much glee in the misfortune of the End Effect.

Dollar: Ummm, let’s see, maybe because they take such satisfaction in the misfortunes of others?

At ringside Lyman has stretched the towel out between her hands and is now placing it across the throat of Price, strangling the life out of her. The asphyxiation continue outside of the ring while within it, Alana has given up eliminating Cassidy, who just wouldn’t let go of the ropes and now rushes towards Kyle, swinging fists into his jaw. Foolishly Galloway used the ropes to reach his feet and leans further and further back against them with each blow and chop delivered by Starr.

But these strikes are not enough, prompting her to turn around and look for a weapon. One that is provided by Jordan. He throws the very flapjack that he brought into this match directly to Starr, who turns and prepares to use it as a weapon. She swings but has her wrist caught in the clutches of Galloway, the giant employing his strength to pull her into a devastating short arm clothesline.

Andre then rushes in to aid his girlfriend only to be caught under Galloway’s arm and side slammed right on top of Alana’s body. Arthur couldn’t be any happier with this dominant display from his client, smirking from ear to ear as Tyson now races to his feet and shows speed by charging into the ropes. He turns to ricochet off but suddenly finds himself flipping over them when both Brandy and Rain reach up from the outside of the ring and low bridge the giant.

Tyson flips completely over and lands on his feet….unfortunately he lands on the mats….meaning the End Effect have managed to eliminate him even after they themselves were tossed.

Susie: Hell hath no fury like the End Effect scorned!

Dollar: They just managed to eliminate newcomer Tyson Galloway, who ruined their plans of getting their hands on Jackson Adams tonight. What a bunch of cowardly sore losers these two are.

Susie: Yeah, but I think they just dug themselves into a deep grave.

Indeed…for they have brought down the fury of a near seven footer upon them. Galloway’s face twists into a mask of rage as he rushes forward and almost beheads both Rain and Brandy via a stereo lariat. He then begins to put boots and fists into anything that moves. Security rushes to ringside and TRIES to separate them yet have no such luck.

Tyson actually grabs one of the guards under the armpits and throws him high into the air, right over the barricade and into the sea of humanity.

Dollar: Chaos breaking out here at ringside. Galloway insinched over his elimination and he’s taking it out on anything that moves.

As the brawl continues at ringside with security powerless to stop it, another squabble continues between Lyman and Kordelia, who has slid into the ring into an attempt to escape Lilly’s wrath. She crawls across the ring with Lilly continuing to swing the bar of soap into her lower back and legs. But the brawl continues along right into the waiting arms of Porno Lad, who rushes in behind Lyman and grabs her by the hair. He then spins her around and shouts into her ear.

Porno Lad: Mind you’re business WOMAN!

He rushes Lyman along into the ropes and tosses her right over to the despair of the watching audience. But Lyman grabs the top rope as she flies to the outside, floating over and landing upon the apron. Porno Lad realizes this, grabbing Kordy by her wrist and whipping her towards Lyman in an attempt to knock her right down from the apron.

10, 9, 8. 7, 6….

The crowd is chanting along as the countdown ciphers to zero….even as Lyman is leaping over the top rope into a twisting corkscrew into the inbound ribs of Price knocking the two down to the canvas. Lyman then rolls along to her stomach as an annoyed Porno Lad steps in and yanks hold of her hair, shouting furiously into her face.

Porno Lad: Why don’t you little whores learn your place!?!

Katelyn, who was presently trying to force Alana over the top rope hears this and spins around with an outraged expression on her face. Lad catches her glimpse from the corner of his eye and scrambles to change his tune.

Porno Lad: And that’s just what these misogynistic jerks around here think…..but not me, I have Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ on my IPod.

He winks towards Buehler, who’s face twists into an expression of distrust. This distraction allows Lyman to reach up and grab Lad’s wrist, dragging him down and wrapping her legs around Ethan’s neck, applying a triangle choke to a loud reaction from the crowd.

At the same time Gary is throwing a series of big haymakers into the forehead of Legion, backing the N.H.B Champion across the ring. He then scoops up the steel chain and balls it up around his fist before swinging around into a knock out shot that is caught right in Legion’s palm. He squeezes until the chain begins to embed in Gary’s knuckles. The N.H.B Champion then delivers a shot from his gauntlet covered fist right into Gary’s temple.

The shot has Matt staggered, almost losing his footing as he’s now grabbed by the throat, Legion grabbing him by the belt and about to chokeslam him to the outside of the ring.

….2, 1…..BUUUZZZ.

The fans twinge with excitement as “Born For This” by Paramore hits the PA system and down the ramp rushes an energetic Brooklyn Smith….clearly on a mission at this point.

Dollar: Here comes Brooklyn….who, as we understood, drew an earlier number just so she could have her cousin’s back.

Susie: And what a back it is….

Dollar; Looks like Gary could use his cousin’s help right now.

Brooklyn races down the ramp right as Rain falls to the mats in front of her, being given a huge headbutt from a vengeful Galloway. Brooklyn leaps into the air, puts a foot to the back of Rain’s head and shoves him down face first into the mats with a stomping face-buster.

A smirks forms on her face after exacting some revenge on Rain….but she’s all business once her attention turns to the ring where Legion is about to chokeslam Gary over the ropes to his elimination. She then leaps into the air, jumps onto the table situated at ringside by the End Effect and then lunges to the apron and springing to the top rope. She flies off right into the waiting palm of the N.H.B Champion. Legion catches her by the throat with Brooklyn landing on her feet in front of him.

Her plan obviously backfired and has led to the potential downfall of Gary and Brooklyn as Legion heaves them simultaneously into the air via a double chokeslam over the ropes. In mid-air though, the two reverse, catching Legion around his neck with stereo front chanceries then drop back over the ropes. The crowd squeals as the two land on the apron and have Legion bent over the top rope, still trapped in two front chanceries that threaten to bring the N.H.B Champion over the cables to his elimination.

Dollar: Gary and Brooklyn, they could be…they could be….on the verge of actually eliminating Legion!

Susie: The biggest threat in the IWC could be neutralized by these cousins.

Though the two are winded, both Alana and Andre step in and lend aid, grabbing Legion’s legs and lifting them into the air, about to eliminate him from the Rumble. At the same time Porno Lad continues to suffer from the triangle choke, actually lifting a palm on the verge of tapping out. Katelyn has Cassidy in one of the corners, subjecting her to repeated boots to the ribs, and now backs up and gets a running start for a lariat that is ducked. She hits the ropes and now Haze grabs her by the ankle, lifting up on it and sending her flipping up and over the cables. She grabs the top rope on the way down though and lands on her rump across the apron.

Cassidy then turns around and spots Legion’s plight, prompting her to rush across the ring, step off the back of the stooped over ailing Porno Lad and leap into a big crossbody on the upper back of Legion. This impact finally starts to knock the Black Crusade member over the top rope with every working in consortium to see his elimination.

Just as it looks like Legion is about to fall victim to these numbers, salvation comes in unlikely form….Katelyn rushes across the ring and rams her cast over the backs of both Andre and Alana.

Dollar: It looks like Buehler is saving Legion.

Susie: Black Crusade vowed to have her back….I think she’s returning that favor.

Katelyn then grabs Kordelia and uses HER as the weapon, dragging her along to her feet and then throwing her shoulder directly into Alana’s ribs, taking her back into the turnbuckle with a spear. She then turns and finds herself subjected to a running STO from Andre, taking her down to the canvas the hard way….and directly on top of the mangled steel chair.

Legion then stands up with both Gary and Brooklyn still holding him in a front chancery and manages to flip them both up and into the ring. They collapse across their spines while the N.H.B Champion spins around and rushes in to deliver a fatal blow. Fortunately for Smith, she ended up landing on the steel pipe, snatching it up and swinging it right into the knee of Legion. The blow doubles him over and puts him in position for Gary, who still has the chain wrapped around his fist, swinging it directly into the temple of this embodiment of fear.

Dollar: Looks like Gary and Brooklyn have made it their mission to eliminate Legion.

Susie: He would be an unbelievable threat to Taylor Chase and her World Title.

Dollar: A threat she’d probably be very gunho to take on.

10, 9, 8….

With the fans chanting along Gary and Brooklyn back up and pick the barber pole off the canvas. They stretch it out between their hands and then rush forward in order to drive the weapon into Legion’s throat to take him over the ropes. But Legion suddenly lifts his foot and delivers a shuffle side kick right to the barber pole, shattering it right down the middle. A stunned Gary spins around, holding the fragmented section of the pole which now features a jagged edge, one he looks to use to his advantage. He rushes in about to stab Legion only to have his wrist grabbed by Brooklyn.

Brooklyn: What are you doing?

Gary stares down at the makeshift shiv in his hands and then up into the condemning eyes of his cousin.

Gary: Whatever it takes.

He pulls away and lunges right at Legion, who turns and then catches Matt, scooping him up across the chest. Though Smith is conflicted, she charges in too, leaping into the air for her a crossbody block. But Legion catches her across chest as well before back flipping into a moonsault fallaway slam on BOTH of his opponents.

Dollar: WOW!

Susie: What incredible strength from the most frightening thing since Barbara Streisand’s nose.

Dollar: Or since the world was introduced to Ashton Kutcher.

….4, 3…

Cassidy has Alana back up on her feet and pushed spine first against the ropes, lifting up on the crease of her knee, trying her best for her over, but she will not budge. Andre has Buehler up and is trying to push her over the cables on the opposite end of the ring but Katelyn has a firm grasp on the top cable with both palms, kicking her legs all the while.

…2, 1….BUUUUZZZ.

Dollar: Who’s entering next?

Helkat intently watches from the apron, yet does so without concern, given the fact that she remains tied to the turnbuckle. An intro track was anticipated….but not the one currently overheard by the masses. ‘Outsider’ pipes through the speakers and the fans leave their feet in reaction to Pat Evans’ arrival.

Dollar: Nooooo way….

Susie: It’s Oscar the Grouch’s evil twin.

Dollar: Patrick James Evans…..former IWC Submission Champion, and a man who main evented Paranoia, is here! We haven’t seen him in ages….AGES!

Susie: Yet here he is, greasing up the Rumble.

The crowd is amazed at the sight of the man who has had several major feuds in IWC lore….ranging from battles with Axl Evermore to wars with Nathan Creed. Now he heads to the ring prepared for a much different battle….the Rumble. Pat overlooks the crowd rather stoically but with an arched eyebrow as he slides his hand into his pocket and withdrawals a steel chain he was quite proficient at using during his IWC tenure. He wraps said chain around his knuckles and swings it into his opposite fist.

Dollar: And he’s got the chain too.

Susie: He used that A LOT back in the olden days of IWC lore.

The chain sporting Evans climbs the steps and takes his dear time in entering the ring.

With a grimace and a growl Porno Lad stands up, heaving the body of Lilly into the air as she tries to hold onto the triangle choke. The submission remains established as Lad actually carries her the length of the ring and is on the verge of eliminating her. That is before a fist wrapped by a chain swings directly into his ribs. The blow causes Evans to drop Lilly down to the canvas and double over, clutching at his ribs. Evans then steps around in front of Lad, bends down and gets eye to eye with the former World Champion.

Evans: Hey there Lad….remember me?

Yes….yes he does…..but if he didn’t, the sting of the chain to his flesh is an instant reminder. What’s worse though, might by the blow from the chain to his face. Evans steps back and swings the steel right at Lad’s skull only to have Lad duck it. He then steps around behind Pat and waits for him to turn. Just as Evans faces his fate, Porno Lad swings around into the Epic Fail. The grin is instantly removed his features though, once his foot is grabbed…or more accurately…his ankle.

Pat twists the leg and brings Lad to the canvas, applying the ankle lock to a HUGE response from the fans.

Dollar: YEAH….the ankle lock….the ankle lock on Porno Lad! Break it…snap that leg.

Susie: He used this hold quite a bit in the past.

That might very well be Evans’ intent, permanently debilitating Lad, who extends his palm on the verge of another submission. He balls up his fist and begins to chew on it though, eyes widening as they shoot towards Buehler, who has managed to fight her way back down to the canvas. She then nails Cassidy several times in the chest with a knee before turning to notice Lad’s plight.

Porno Lad: Do something…do something PLEASE!

The tune is altered.

Porno Lad: I….I love you!

The statement along with a cheesy grin leads to a groan from Buehler, who rushes across the ring and dives with a Lou Thez Press right into Evans. Pat collapses to his back with Katelyn on top, delivering right hand after right to the forehead of the former Tag and Submission Champion.

In the meanwhile Andre and Alana spot Legion getting to his knees after delivering that destructive double moonsault fallaway slam. The two rush in front opposite sides of the ring and deliver stereo basement dropkicks to both sides of Legion’s head, doing unspeakable amounts of damage. Legion collapses to his back while Andre and Alana struggle to their feet, fatigue definitely setting in at this point.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Cassidy rushes in behind Alana and grabs her by the hair, throwing her against the top rope and wedging a shoulder to her ribs, heaving her up into the air. From a running powerslam position Haze tries to force Alana forward and over the ropes. A double axehandle to Cassidy’s back from Andre breaks up that attempt though, causing Cassidy to fall to the canvas where she’s stomped to the spine several times.

Then Price races in behind Andre, takes him by the skull and tries to toss him over. Now it’s Andre clinging to the cables for dear life.

Though she’s fatigued, Brooklyn manages to step in and actually assists Kordy in her attempt to eliminate Jordan. She then looks back as Gary takes hold of the tire iron that was introduced into this match By Alana. He lifts it into the air and brings it down over the ribs of Legion, and then into his chest. The N.H.B rolls away as Gary continues to swing the weapon into any mobile portion of his body. He steps over Legion’s back and places the iron across his throat, wrenching back and strangling the life out of him.

Brooklyn cannot believe what she’s seeing, crying out towards Gary once more.

Brooklyn: No Gar….you’re….

Gary: LEAVE ME BE!

He rears back on the tire iron, really doing damage to the larynx of Legion.

Buehler is throwing fists repeatedly into the forehead and cheek of Evans, who smiles in response to each blow, relishing in the fact that he’s once again feeling the wrath of an opponent…having gone far too long without the sensation of pain. All the while Porno Lad is watching, watching his girlfriend do his dirty work. A smirk forms on Lad’s face….confidence building.

…2, 1….BUUUUZZZ.

That smile on Porno Lad’s face suddenly changes when….

BOB! BOB! BOB! BOB!

The Bob anthem plays throughout the speakers and before Lad can fully respond he turns around and has a giant ham thrown right into his gut. The greasy ham has deflated Lad’s lungs and has doubled him over in front of the vengeful Bob.

Bob: Porno Ham made Bob turn back on best friend. Porno Ham made Bob betray HAM!

Bob turns and bends down, swinging his massive glutes right into Porno Lad’s face. The collision sends Ethan spinning across the ring right into a big running spinning heel kick by Lyman. The forceful kick sends Porno Lad twisting down to his knees and turning as he falls face first right into the crack of Bob’s bottom.

Susie: Ohhhh….some people are so lucky.

Dollar: God I hope Bob had White Castles this morning.

Lad swings arms wildly as he tries to free his face from the bum of the massive Bob….sweet, sweet vengeance.

Dollar: Bob at last getting some payback for the drugging at the End of the Year Special.

Evans is dragged along to his feet and rushes towards the ropes by Buehler…..who has help provided to her by Cassidy as the two try to eliminate Pat.

Alana steps across the ring and saves Jordan from a potential elimination, snatching up a flapjack and nailing Kordy to her back with the weapon. It then drills Brooklyn to the back of her skull, forcing her to release Jordan.

In the meanwhile Bob has now whipped Porno Lad into the corner and is charging in, going fo r abig splash. Lad slides out of the way in the nick of time though, causing Bob to engulf the corner with the folds of his fat. The big man turns away and almost falls out of the corner but finds himself stooped over the giant ham instead.

Porno Lad then spins around and lifts his leg into the air with the Epic Fail only to have Bob throw the ham into his inbound boot. The ham suffers the spinning superkick and goes flying from the ring as Bob then rushes forward at the rival currently standing on one foot.

Bob: EEEEE!

The log roll connects with Lad’s ankle, tripping him forward so that he collapses directly on his face.

Legion has managed to grab the tire iron wedged to his throat, perhaps turning his face blue…..which is hard to tell given the mask that covers it. He then bends down, yanking on the iron and sending Gary flipping over him and down to the canvas. Matt rolls forward across the canvas onto his feet with the weapon still in his hand.

He rushes right at the N.H.B Champion, who catches Gary coming in, throws him up into the air and catches him coming down with a gauntlet covered fist to the jaw. The Guiding Hand connects and sends Gary spiraling into the ropes and falling right over them. He then bounces off the apron and threatens to collapse to the outside mats only to reach out and grab the cable that is tied around Hellkat’s body. He leans back off the apron with nothing but the back of his heels still resting on its surface, refusing to let them go down to the mats, even as the rope begins to unravel from around Hellkat’s body.

Therefore Gary’s body keeps inching closer and closer to the mats, leaning down to the point where his shoulder blades are almost touching the floor, yet the back of his heels remain on top of the apron and his hands remain wrapped around the rope.

As much as it pains her, Hellkat has to reach out and grab the rope, pulling back on it to keep from having it entirely unraveled from around her body.

Dollar: Am I seeing this? Hellkat has to actually keep Gary from being eliminated, otherwise he’s going to pull that rope right off of her.

Susie: Hold on Hellkat….hold strong.

Hellkat pulls back on the ropes and begins to pull Gary back up towards the ring, keeping him alive in this match.

One person who is about to face an execution is Porno Lad, who lies on the canas beneath Bob who is ascending the turnbuckle, getting to the middle rope. He gingerly bobs….no pun intended….on the middle rope about to deliver the Vader Bomb. Just then Porno Lad looks up and screams towards Buehler.

Porno Lad: Buehler….help me….my love!

Buehler may be on the verge of helping to eliminate Evans….but groans as she realizes that Lad once again needs her help. So she breaks away from Evans and rushes up behind Bob, grabbing him around his massive thigh. Bob drops down to the canvas, to his feet as opposed to the Vader Bomb. He then back elbows Buehler with his flabby bicep, knocking her to the canvas. Just then a baton is swung right into the back of Bob’s head, driven into his cranium by Porno Lad. The weapon Galloway brought into the ring is put to good use, hitting Bob with just enough force to knock him into the ropes.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6….

Lad steps in, grabs Bob around the thigh and lifts while Kordelia is rushing in and grabbing the other leg. The two heave simultaneously, flipping Bob up and over the ropes down to the mats.

Susie: NOOOOOO!!

Dollar: Porno Lad once again playing Katelyn Buehler so that he and Price could eliminate Bob.

Susie: My reason for living is gone….is Dr. Kevorkian still around?

A despondent Bob languishes at ringside, overwhelmed with dread concerning his elimination. That is until he spots the ham lying on the mats, plucking it up and sinking his teeth into it.

Bob: Bob can never stay mad at ham.

The gelatinous Bob makes his way up the ramp as the countdown continues and Porno Lad high fives Price.

5, 4, 3, 2….

Porno Lad: Now ya’ see dear, that’s how it’s done… Play a little bit of politics, do a little manipulation, and it goes a long…loooong way.

Kordy: Okay.

Porno Lad: But most importantly, in the end….you still have to look tough, bare a stiff upper lip, buck out your chest, and stiffen your spine…You can’t afford to look weak….or fallible….EVER!

1…BUUUUZZZ.

“Intro” by DMX hits the PA system to an uproarious response from the crowd. With baseball bat in hand and BMW no longer at his side, because of the very weapon IN his hand, TPKid barrels down the ramp.

Dollar: And Porno Lad’s misfortune continues…I love it!

Susie: Jeez….does Porno Lad have ANY friends?

Kid slides into the ring and rushes immediately at Porno Lad, who unleashes a high pitched squeal and drags Price between himself and the inbound Kid, who removed his tag team title belt and dropped it to the canvas on his way into the ring.

But it’s the bat in Kid’s possession that takes precedence over his belt. He swings the weapon but stops once Kordy has been turned into a human shield.

Dollar: And Porno Lad does it AGAIN!

Susie: But this time TPKid stopped before he could bash in another woman’s skull.

A trembling TPKid would enjoy nothing more than fighting right through Prince, but can’t bring himself to bludgeon yet another woman with his weapon. The manipulative tactic seems to be working, as it causes the trailer park denizen to lower his guard just long enough for Price to step forward and go for a kick straight to his lower extremities. However, the bat drops just like the tag belt and Kid catches the inbound foot. Kordy hops up and down, begging off as Kid then pushes on the boot, swinging it around so that it nails a chucking Porno Lad right in his crotch.

The pain is too extreme for Porno Lad to even express it aloud. His eyes widen and his jaw drops to his knees. Before he has a chance to truly respond to the pain though, Kid grabs the back of Kordelia’s head, bends her down and launches the top of her head directly into Porno Lad’s crotch.

Dollar: Everyone using Kordelia as a weapon….TPKid included.

Susie: And I’m sure Kordy is no stranger to having her face introduced to that part of Porno Lad’s anatomy.

Lad bends down reaching for his crotch as he turns and finds himself staring down into the boot of Lyman that delivers a punt kick right to his face. Porno Lad stands up tall, looking knocked silly just as Evans steps in and creams him to the cheek with a chain wrapped fist.

Dollar: YES! Hahahahaha YES! Everyone is getting a piece of Porno Lad.

Susie: Their beating his ass down to China Town.

Lad spins around in a perpetual haze just as TPKid snatches up the tag belt as opposed to the bat.

TPKid: You want it back…here ya go!

The gold plate of the championship is swung directly into Porno Lad’s forehead…..

Susie: And not only does he take the chain….he takes the title belt to the head too!

Dollar: This is great….the greatest thing ever.

Kid sits down on top of Lad’s chest with the belt still in hand, grinding the plate of the championship across his forehead….a forehead that has been lacerated.

TPKid: THIS is your life, huh? Titles….the spotlight….fame…fortune! None of that shit matters to me….The only thing that matters to TPKid….is make yo bitch-ass suffa!

As Porno Lad’s doom plays out, Gary’s salvation transpires on the other side of the ring, Hellkat dragging him back up to the apron so that she can keep her rope in place. Matt then turns and spots Haze rushing in to throw a forearm over the ropes to try and knock him off the apron. Gary ducks down and sticks his head through the ropes, putting them under Cassidy’s seat. He then stands up and back drops Haze right over the cables, on the verge of eliminating her. Just as she sails over, Haze grabs the top rope and ends up twisting her body so that she lands feet first on the apron.

A back elbow then nails her to the lips, stumbling her back. Gary then turns back towards the ring just as Alana comes racing towards him. He bends down, sticks his head under the ropes, puts it under Starr’s rump and stands up, back dropping her over the cables.

However, we seem to be seeing an instant replay as Alana floats over and lands on her feet beside Gary. She and Cassidy form the buns in a sandwich with Gary serving as the meat. They then rush forward simultaneously and throw forearms that connect….with each other’s jaws. Gary ducked the inbound blows and DOVE into the ring, dropping into a forward roll across the canvas. He then charges in and goes for a stereo lariat on the throats of both adversaries who bend forward simultaneously and catch him coming in. They each grab a leg through the ropes and heave him up into the air for a stereo back drop over the ropes that will surely eliminate him….if Brooklyn hadn’t intervened. She grabs Gary by the ankle and pulls him back down feet first to the canvas instead of tumbling to the outside.

She then delivers a step up enzugari to the back of Cassidy’s head, ALMOST discombobulating her enough to collapse to the outside mats.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Dollar: So much action all around the ring it’s almost impossible to keep track of it all, and yet we’re having another entrant in just a few moments.

Legion has grown weary with standing back, rushing in and wedging hands to the back of Pat’s skull, charging him towards the cables. He throws him over the cables only to have Evans grab the top rope and float over, landing on the apron. He then stands up just as Andre rushes in to try and take advantage of his positioning only to be drilled to the cheek with a bone fracturing shot from the chain wrapped fist.

Dollar: Evans refusing to take that chain off his fist.

Susie: And why would he?

Dollar: It’s proving quite effective.

Evans then races across the apron, scales the nearest turnbuckle, getting to the top rope and eventually launching himself off into an aerial shoulder block to the chest of the monstrous Legion. The collision sends the big man staggering back into the cables.

Dollar: Evans going high risk!

Susie: I don’t think we EVER saw him do that in the olden days.

Dollar: He not only hasn’t missed a step in his time away from the ring, he’s improved.

TPKid approaches the baseball bat at this point, snatching it off of the canvas. He turns his eyes methodically towards the blood spurting out of Porno Lad’s scalp and trickling down his face. Like a shark that smells blood, Kid takes his dear time, stepping in and relishing this opportunity. The bat slowly rises above his head and there is nothing that a pleading Lad, or a fighting Kordy can do about it, as she finds herself wedged against a corner being subjected to punch after punch from Lyman.

Lad is totally at the mercy of TPKid, and there will be no such mercy. The bat is slowly raised above the head of the man he’s been holding the tag team titles alongside of for months…ironically the man about to ensure his destruction.

…5, 4….

The bat finally begins to swing down and exact revenge on BMW’s behalf only for it to slide right out of his hands. Before TPKId can turn around and spot the individual who took his bat…..that person being Katelyn Buehler….Lad launches his foot into the air, driving it directly into TPKid’s crotch.

Dollar: No Katelyn….don’t you realize what you’ve done!?!

Susie: Buehler saving Porno Lad again.

Dollar: And it opened the door for him to deliver that sickening low blow to TPKid.

The shot to the crotch has TPKid dropping to his knees, hands wrapping around his swollen testicles. An aggravated Lad gets to his feet, drags his tag title from the canvas and wedges it to the cheek of his adversary.

Porno Lad: You NEVER earned this….You were never good enough to be a star…..You could cut your hair, you can wear my shirt, you can use all the sparklers you want in your entrance, but nothing will make you a star….you’ll only ever be trailer park trash….And I’m not intimidated by trash…I’m not intimidated by anyone.

…2, 1…BUUUUZZZZ!

Lad steps back and heaves the Tag Championship into the air, on the verge of driving it down into the back of TPKid’s skull. “Strength of a Thousand Men” suddenly blasts through the speakers and from the backstage area appears the monstrous red haired demon, Robert. An absolute implosion of diverging reactions are heard from the Amway Center crowd as from the backstage area steps the gigantic abdomination….the twisted multiple personality of Bob.

Susie: Oh no…oh no…someone check my panties.

Dollar: If you were wearing any….maybe I would.

Porno Lad stops in mid-swing, his face going paler than a sheet in a snowstorm. The gold slowly lowers to his side as he eyes the man who mauled his face on the last Riot! Robert descends upon the ring with a pair of giant mnoose antlers in his hand. He lowers the weapon to the apron and begins to enter the ring just as Lad prepares for war. That’s when a forearm launches from Kid right into Porno Lad’s crotch.

The crowd absolutely erupts as Robert slides into the ring and roars.

Robert: GAAARR!

A log roll connects with Lad’s shins, flipping him completely over and onto his back.

Dollar: Everyone getting a piece of Porno Lad tonight.

Susie: It’s beat up on Porno Lad night. This is funner than Happy Hour.

Lad lies on the canvas reaching for his ankles just as Robert ricochets off the ropes and leaps into the air, crashing down with a butt first splash across his chest.

No one is coming to his aid at this point, with Lyman heaving Price’s legs up onto her shoulders and trying to twist her over ropes while she keeps her back wedged to the turnbuckle. Price lifts her heel into the air and drives it down on top of Lilly’s head several times, trying to stave off the elimination.

In the meanwhile Legion finds himself again being ganged up on. The panting Alana and Andre, who are beyond exhausted at this point given the fact that they’ve been in there since numbers one and two respectively, are now lifting up on Legion’s legs, trying to push him backwards over the ropes. All the while Gary has slide through the ropes to the apron and is repeatedly driving elbows down into the masked face of the N.H.B Champion.

And Evans has slid to the outside on the opposite side of Legion’s head, delivering repeatedly punt kicks to the back of his skull. All four combatants, Alana, Andre, Matt and Evans are doing everything in their power to weaken Legion to the point of elimination.

Dollar: Legion could be on the verge of elimination….everyone ganging up on him.

Susie: Yet they just can’t get that powerhouse out of the Rumble….no force on earth can eliminate this man….with the exception of a massive coronary maybe.

Robert accepts aid for the first and perhaps final time in his life, as he and TPKid try to push Porno Lad over the ropes, wedging his back to the top cable and lifting up on his legs. Somehow Lad manages to hold on despite all the punishment he’s taken in this match thus far.

Dollar: Wait…don’t eliminate him just yet guys…pretty please.

Susie: I thought you WANTED him eliminated!

Dollar: I do….just not yet.

An exhausted Katelyn reaches her feet, eyes cutting towards Porno Lad who cries out for help, and then towards Legion, who stoically faces the prospect of elimination. Her eyes keep cutting back between the two men on the verge of being eliminated.

Dollar: Katelyn faced with a very tough decision here. Does she come to the aid of her lover….or the group that she has developed a bizarre allegiance to in the form of the Black Crusade.

Susie: One dragged her out of the gutter, and the other gave her a spiritual rebirth by forcing her to face her fears.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Buehler makes her decision, dashing across the ring and leaping into the air, hitting a big splash to the upper back of Jordan. Andre drops Legion’s leg, and so does Alana as she goes rushing at Buehler, who side steps her, catches the back of her head and uses her own momentum to throw her over the top rope. But Starr catches the top rope and floats over to the apron.

….4, 3…..

In spite of holding desperately to the top rope to prevent being eliminated, Porno Lad spots Katelyn making her choice and growls in anger as a result. His thumb then finds its way right into TPKid’s eyeball, causing him to stagger back clutching at his face.

Price then breaks away from Lilly, rushes across the ring and dives on top of Robert’s back, digging her finger nails right into his eyes.

….2….

Lad snatches up the tag team title belt and rushes right up beside Robert, drilling him to the jaw with the strap. Robert falls back and lands with all his girth on the woman who was straddling his spine, crushing Kordelia beneath him.

1…BUUUUZZZ!

Susie: And the next entrant is at least someone we know isn’t an enemy of Porno Lad, considering the list has pretty much been exhausted.

Dollar: For once, I LOVE to correct you.

The curtains do not part for there is no entrance by ANY member of the IWC roster….why….isn’t it obvious at this point? It should be once the sound of Johnny Dollar’s head-set can be heard hitting the announce table, followed by Susie’s pleas.

Susie: Oh no…not again Johnny….don’t do this AGAIN!

Dollar stands up and removes the cervical collar from around his neck and then dashes around the announce table.

Dollar: I’ll take that.

The camera loaded on the shoulder of one the ringside crew is snatched hold of and the power cord is ripped out. Dollar then rolls into the ring and rushes right towards Porno Lad who was apprehensively watching the entry way this whole time. Lad then turns around due to the screams of the fans and finds his already bloodied face smashed with the video camera.

Susie: Johnny D has just entered the Rumble….he’s entered the Rumble!! My broadcast colleague is all over the man who caused him get driven through that table months ago.

The shattered remnants of the expensive camera collapse to the canvas while Porno Lad tumbles in a heap across the canvas. Dollar glares down upon the man who cost him so many months of his career by deluding him via manipulation. To make his attack even more pronounced, Lad spits right on top of Lad and then turns towards the ropes. He approaches them, steps over them and then drops to the outside mats, eliminating himself.

Dollar: Alright….I’m done now.

Susie: Johnny Dollar laying out Porno Lad and then eliminating himself from the Rumble….but what an emphatic statement made.

The crowd is giving an explosive roar of approval for Dollar, who is fixing his tie and his cufflinks as he moves back to the announce table. He grabs his cervical collar and puts it around his neck before ultimately returning to his seat.

Dollar: God that felt good….glad to finally get that out of my system.

Susie: Good for you, I was getting tired of hearing you bitch about Porno Lad.

A ‘Johnny Dollar’ chant continues from the Florida crowd as the effects of his BRIEF participation in this Rumble remain evident via the blood soaked features of Porno Lad.

10, 9, 8….

Legion spins around and reaches over the ropes, grabbing the two men who have been victimizing him by placing them both in front chanceries. Neither Evans nor Gary can fight it as they are simultaneously vertical suplexed into the ring. But wait….they aren’t dropped quite so quickly, Legion actually holding them in a stalling vertical suplex position. He steps backwards across the ring, making a full rotation with both men held upside down for what seems like an eternity before he finally drops back into stereo suplexes.

Dollar: That was almost as amazing as what I just did to Porno Lad.

Cassidy rushes across the ring and goes after Legion, lunging into a crossbody that the N.H.B Champion ducks. Haze flies over his head as a result right into the KTFO. Buehler spins around and drives her arm braced wrist directly into the airborne mush of Haze’s mouth.

Dollar: AHHHHH KTFO on the airborne Haze!

Susie: That was INSANE!

….4, 3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!

The curtains suddenly part, and through them without delay, without much build up, without prolonged hype steps a man NO ONE was expecting to see here tonight….a man synonymous with the letters I….W….C. A hall of famer…a former World Heavyweight Champion….and the leader of the infamous Empire….Johnny Kingdom.

Dollar: HOOOOLLLY CHRIST!

Susie: It’s….it’s….it’s….it’s…it’s….

A slap is given to the back of Susie’s head.

Susie: It’s Johnny Kingdom!

Dollar: You ain’t kidding…we haven’t seen the Career Killer, the Team Leader….in God….AGES!

Susie: Did I just drool all over myself.

Dollar: Yeah, but to be fair, when AREN’T you drooling all over yourself.

The reception in the Manhattan Center is absolutely deafening at the sight of Johnny Kingdom….the multi-time World Champion and legend making his way down the ramp with a steel pipe in the palm of his hand.

Dollar: And he’s got a weapon to boot.

Susie: One that became a fixture of his career towards the later months…the steel pipe.

Johnny slides into the ring and slithers right up beside the ailing Porno Lad, who is trying to get up. He doesn’t get very far because the Team Leader places the pipe across his jaw and rears back, applying a crossface on the man who once masqueraded himself as Mr. X, a play on Johnny’s past gimmick as the masked Xavier.

Dollar: And wisely, just like everyone else in this Rumble, Kingdom is going right after Porno Lad.

The fans are flipping their lids as Kingdom continues to wrench back on the pipe repeatedly, choking the life right out of the bloodied Porno Lad’s body. The Team Leader only stops using the weapon when he spots a recovered Pat Evans stumbling towards him. The chain lowers from his fist and hangs above the canvas while his free hand extends towards the Team Leader.

Evans: Johnny….nice to see ya again. No hard feelings for our past transgressions, aye?

Kingdom breaks the crossface aided by the steel pipe and then stands up, looking at the man outstretching his hand, the man who alongside the Conspiracy victimized he and Orlando Cruze for months, culminating in Steel Cage Elimination at Paranoia for the World Title. Johnny stares down into the outstretched palm and then grins before delivering a swift boot to Pat’s ribs. He places him in a front chancery, heaves him up and drops him down via the Exodus Finale.

Dollar: Looks like Johnny just burnt the bridge Evans was trying to build over troubled waters.

Susie: And he did it by dumping Evans on his head via the brainbuster DDT.

Johnny reaches his feet and is then grabbed by the shoulder, being spun around to face Robert.

Robert: You….are NOT on my list….

Kingdom tilts his head, eyeballing the heavyset man he is no stranger to….

Kingdom: Do something different with your hair, Bob?

Robert: It is Robert, master of the Mnoose Charter, do not sully my name good….

A kick is delivered to Robert’s ribs before Kingdom puts him in a front chancery.

Dollar: No….no way!

Kingdom looks out over the crowd with a giant smile forming on his other morose face.

Dollar: Can he do it…can he get this HUGE Robert up into the Exodus Finale?

Susie: Impossible…there’s no way.

Robert is on the verge of being heaved into the air before Johnny suddenly breaks his own front chancery and steps back, shaking his head with a condescending smirk.

Kingdom: Are you kidding me? I’m like a hundred years old, I ain’t breaking my back for this shit.

There is a chuckle from many in attendance while others bemoan….wanting to see if Kingdom was capable of delivering the brainbuster DDT on such a rotund figure.

Instead Kingdom picks up the steel pipe and charges at Gary, cracking him in the back with the weapon and sending him falling into the ropes chest first. Johnny then puts the steel pipe through Gary’s legs and lifts up on it, crotching him against the weapon and trying to push him over the cables.

In the meanwhile Porno Lad is dragged into the turnbuckle by TPKid who takes his baseball bat and places it across the throat of the Original Prankster. Lilly Lyman has hold of Kordelia and is trying to force her over the cables as well. And Legion and Buehler have both Jordan and Alana reeling from a series of left hands, backing the lovers into the ropes where they find themselves on the cusp of elimination.

Dollar: So many potential eliminations coming here.

Susie: There haven’t been very many thus far.

Dollar: At least none that have stood out as much as my own.

Kingdom finally flips Gary over the ropes but he does a headstand on the apron and eventually comes down on his side across it, hooking an elbow around the middle cable. Johnny then proceeds to stomp away at him several times. Alana and Andre simultaneously get their feet up and deliver kicks to the inbound chests of Legion and Buehler, knocking them back as well. Kingdom rushes across the ring and joins in on the assault upon Lad, allowing Gary to roll back into the squared circle, grabbing the flapjack in the process.

At this point the only one seems to be in serious jeopardy of being thrown over is Kordelia….Lilly determined to toss her. She even leans over the top rope right alongside Price, pulling down on her waistband and keeping her other hand wrapped around the uppermost cable to stave off accidentally eliminating herself.

Everyone is supporting this cause, wanting to see Lilly take out Price….especially the woman who now rushes down the ramp to the ringside area. Polly Norah crouches below Price and Lyman, cheering Lilly on.

Dollar: Polly Norah…the woman who was beaten by Kordelia earlier in the night out here to witness her misfortune.

Susie: She might not be able to get revenge, but Lilly can do it on her behalf.

Polly screams for Lilly to put some more muscle behind it. This prompts Lyman to dangerously lean even further over the top rope to push down on Price. It’s right at this point that Norah leaps to the apron, grabs Lyman’s wrist and drags down on it, pulling her over the cables and down to the mats.

Dollar: Wait…what…hold on!

Susie: Did….huh?

Stunned doesn’t even begin to describe Lyman as she sits on the mats, looking around with wide eyes and slacked jaw. Eventually her petrified eyes turn towards Polly, who backs away with a lower head and a sullen disposition.

Dollar: Polly Norah…just….just helped eliminate Lilly Lyman.

Susie: Unfathomable!

Dollar: I don’t….don’t understand this at all.

Susie: I guess that she’s fulfilling her role as a member of Porno Lad’s Haram.

Dollar: Can I re-enter the Rumble just so I can smack Porno Lad with a video camera one more time?

Rage takes the place of shock…as Lilly focuses on the woman who just screwed her out of a potential World Title opportunity. Norah backs up the ramp with a saddened expression on her face, unable to even turn back and look at what she’s done…..or more accurately what she’s been FORCED to do.

10, 9, 8, 7…

A baseball bat continues to strangle Lad in the corner, while Legion finds himself pressed against the ropes, a recovered Evans trying once again to eliminate him. Cassidy now has hold of Brooklyn, wedging a shoulder to her gut and powering her backwards across the ring into one of the turnbuckles.

Haze then backs flips and gets a running start behind a big step up knee strike. However, Smith shows raw power by catching the legs of Haze on top of her shoulders, throwing her up into powerbomb position, of the running variety. She charges right out of the ropes and snaps back only to have Brooklyn do a kip up off the top of her head directly onto her feet, avoiding any damage from the hurricarana.

She lands with cat like reflexes on her feet only to have Alana leap into the air in front of Smith, land on her shoulders then drop back into a hurricarana of her own. Brooklyn is pulled over the cable but grabs the middle rope on the way down, legs preciously hanging above the outside mats. All the while Alana lands on Brooklyn’s chest, straddling it as she grips the top cable.

Smith then launches her legs into the air, wrapping them around Alana’s waist and pushing herself up into position to deliver a sunset flip driver that would ultimately send Alana crashing to the exterior of the ring.

Dollar: This could be dangerous….Alana about to be spiked on the top of her head, but perhaps more importantly to her, she’s about to be eliminated.

Susie: Yeah, I don’t know which one matters more to her.

Alana then reaches back and wrap her hands around Brooklyn’s chin, pulling down in it and looking to deliver the Gory stretch. She then KEEPS pulling down on the chin until Brooklyn flips over her shoulder over her ropes and into the ring.

Alana then grabs the top rope and pulls herself over, twisting in mid-air, catching Brooklyn around the neck and snapping off into a hurricarana that sends Smith flipping across the ring.

…3, 2, 1….BUUUUUZZZ!

“Theatre” hits the speakers and down the ramp rushes Yvonne Knight…..sliding into the ring under the ropes and dashing shoulder first right into Starr’s ribs. She ends up right on top of Alana, pummeling her face with right hand after right hand after right hand.

Dollar: Yvonne Knight wasting no time… she’s right on top of Alana Starr!

Susie: Payback for what happened to Dawn earlier tonight.

Dollar: Accident or no accident, Yvonne showing there are consequences for Alana’s actions.

The blows continue to pummel her face before Alana throws a retaliatory shot to the jaw. Yvonne then goes rolling across the ring clutching at her face while Starr races in to deliver a punt kick to her face. Unfortunately for Starr, Yvonne reaches out catching the creases of her knees, rips them out from under her body and then steps through the legs. She rolls Alana over into the Knight Lock….resulting in an uproarious response from the fans.

Dollar: And now Knight is making Alana pay via the sharpshooter, and she’s got it ALL locked in.

Susie: Jeez, yeah, and Alana has already been in there for well over thirty minutes, her body has got to be in agony.

Andre rushes across the ring to aid his girlfriend only to be caught with a basement dropkick to the knee by Cassidy. Jordan collapses flat on his face while Haze rolls away from him and finds herself stooping over Alana, laughing directly in her face.

Haze: Here you are suffering for what? None of this brings you any closer to Bosslady….NONE OF IT!

Suddenly the cackling Cassidy finds herself rolling to her back with Andre stepping through her legs and then dropping to his back, applying a figure four to a huge reaction from the crowd. Even though Alana is in the sharpshooter, she manages to reach up and grab Cassidy’s head, wrapping an arm around it and applying the dragon sleeper.

Just then Legion manages to give Evans a big shove that sends him spiraling towards the center of the ring. He catches himself just as Legion rushes out of the cables into a shuffle side kick that is caught in the clutches of Evans.

A mixed response is heard as Evans twists Legion down to the canvas and into the ankle lock. The NHB Champion pushes himself up onto the points of his elbows, grimacing in pain from the submission hold. Johnny spots this ankle lock applied and surprisingly works in collusion with Evans to do double damage to the Black Crusade member. He leaps to Legion’s side, grabs his arm, sticks it between his knees and wrenches back into the Lesson in Leadership. The crowd is going nuts as Johnny establishes the crossface at the same time that Evans applies the ankle lock.

Dollar: Legion in a world of pain.

Susie: Up until now Legion’s been all untouchable….but tonight….the Rumble has kind of put him on equal footing.

Dollar: Kind of happens when your being targeted by two of IWC’s legends.

Katelyn spots the plight being suffered by Legion, prompting her to interfere only to be caught from behind by Gary Matt. He grabs her by the waistband and pulls her back only to have Katelyn spin around and launch into the KTFO, the cast covered wrist flies over Gary’s face and nails an unsuspecting Kordelia in the cheek.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6….

Gary then steps in behind Katelyn, grabs her by the shirt and pulls her into his shoulders, heaving her up into the Maniac Rack.

Dollar; And now Katelyn in a submission as well!

Susie: Just about everyone suffering some type of submission at the moment in a battle of attrition.

…ALMOST….more like everyone as Robert drops down on top of Kordy and begins to roll back and forth, hitting his submission move upon her, squishing her body beneath his enormous physique. Though Kordy was already anorexic, she’s now flatter than the ass cheeks of Miley Cyrus.

…3, 2, 1….

The wait for the Huntress is over….Amanda Blayze barreling down the ramp with her weapons, being the hands and legs that inflict so much damage in the bounds of the octagon…well…now in the four sided ring. She slides right under the ropes and surveys the situation before picking her spot. She rushes in behind Evans, grabs him around the neck and applies a rear naked choke.

Dollar: Amanda Blayze instantly jumping into the thick of things, locking in the rear-naked choke on Evans, who has Legion trapped in the ankle lock at the moment.

Susie: They’re all twisted up around one another. This is like an orgie gone horribly awry.

Lad manages to knock TPKid on his back and step out of the corner with blood still streaming down his face. His eyes overlook all the bodies trapped and ailing from the submission, bringing a giant smile to his face.

Porno Lad: You all call THIS submission wrestling? I’ll SHOW you TRUE technical wrestling.

Lad grabs the legs of TPKid, heaving them up and beginning to turn him over into the STF.

Porno Lad: Prepare for the unbreakable LAD LOCK!

The submission he BELIEVES netted him a win over Bob last week is about to be established when Kid suddenly bends his knees, wedges them to Lad’s chest and shoves him off. Lad turns and accidentally crashes into Robert, knocking him off the tracks that WERE Kordy. The rolling Bob then ends up connecting with the back of Amanda’s knees, causing her to break the choke and fall back, her boot launching up and into Evans’ backside in the process. Pat tumbles forward and crashes into the back of Johnny’s head, forcing him to break the crossface. At the same time as Evans tripped he elevated the leg of Legion in his arms enough to send him rolling forward, his head crashing right into Gary’s ribs once he ends up on his seat. As a result Buehler is sent flipping off of Gary’s shoulders, out of the rack and into twisting splash cross body to Yvonne’s chest. Ivy breaks the sharpshooter and falls back accidentally throwing Buehler over into a fallway slam. Buehler comes crashing down on top of Andre and Cassidy, breaking up the figure four leg lock and the dragon sleeper simultaneous.

Dollar: Domino effect.

As all the submission are broken, TPKid stands back watching in shock, realizing He set this all into motion.

TPKid: Did I do that?

Steve Urkel…eat your heart out.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….

Lad then rushes at Kid, throwing a right hand only to have TPKid duck, snatch up his baseball bat and wait for his opponent to spin around. He then swings the top of the bat right into Porno Lad’s ribs, doubling him over.

TPKid: Still think the Freebird’s Rule is gonna work ya bitch?

Another shot from the bat to the ribs.

Legion now has both Kingdom AND Evans by their heads, backing them into the ropes and trying to push them over the cables simultaneously. Buehler is standing up and trading forearms between the jaws of both Andre and Cassidy and Robert is trying his best to toss Price over the ropes.

…2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!

Only fitting that the next man to enter the Rumble is someone synonymous with mat based offense after the technical display we just witnessed. ‘Chalk Outline’ plays and predictably leads to a response that almost blows the roof off the Amway arena.

Dollar: Nuh-uh…NUH…UUUUH!

Susie: It’s…it’s…it’s…CREED!

Dollar: How is this possible!?!

The man that was retired is now resurrected as Nathan Creed stands on his stage, back turned to the crowd and arms stretched out to his sides. He then spins around just as the reaction is at its zenith to reveal the face of Aaron Harrison.

Susie: Because it’s NOT possible!

Dollar: Aaron Harrison just played us all!

The crowd’s hearts collectively sink and now it’s their rage at its peak. A sneer forms on Harrison’s face in reaction to their outrage.

Harrison: You just got trolled…deal with it.

Harrison now reveals the kendo-stick that he points in the direction of a flabbergasted Taylor…

Harrison: And this one is for you, Honey-Bunch.

The lower lip of Chase is gnawed upon, trying to stifle her words as Harrison rushes down the ramp and slides into the ring, catching his opponents while their still ailing.

Dollar: Someone please eliminate Harrison and do it quickly…but wait…not before he hits Porno Lad….let him get in a few licks on Ethan first.

The cane does find Porno Lad, swinging right into his back as he was already ailing from the blows with the baseball bat. He then turns and rams the Singapore Cane over the shoulder of Robert, sending him blubbering into the corner. The cane bounces off of Alana’s upper back, and sends her spiraling towards the ropes. Cassidy gets to her feet and receives a shot to the ribs from the cane, doubling her over and contracting into a contortion of pain. Andre stands up only to have the cane swung directly into his patella, dropping him into a picture of anguish.

Katelyn takes residency behind Aaron then spins around into the KTFO only to have Aaron spin around and ram the cane right across her cast covered wrist. The shot from the cane sends Buehler twisting to the canvas, wrapping her body around her badly damaged arm. Then Harrison turns and swings the cane right into the crotch of a laid out Legion. The masked Crusader sits up and reaches for his testicles…although they aren’t nearly as in much pain as one would presume given his Himalayan training technique. However, that technique doesn’t extend to his head, which suffers an even more devastating shot from the cane, putting him on his back.

Harrison’s onslaught continues until he spins around and swings the cane right into….no…he stops when he spots Gary standing in front of him.

Dollar: Harrison and Gary Matt AGAIN coming face to face here tonight.

Susie: And just like earlier tonight, Harrison is refusing to attac Gary.

No, he doesn’t just refuse but actually flips the cane over and extends the handle out towards Matt.

Dollar: What is…what is Harrison doing?

Susie: Whatever makes sense in his twisted mind.

Dollar: He’s actually giving the cane to Gary? Why?

A very tentative Gary looks down into the weapon offered to him and then into the face of Harrison. Those eyes lower because Harrison drops to his knees before Gary and continues to extend the weapon to Gary.

Harrison: Unlike Taylor, I’m not here to kill your dreams.

Gary hesitantly takes the handle of the weapon, sliding it out of Harrison’s palms.

Brooklyn: Do it Gar….do it.

A kneeling Brooklyn pleads with Gary to at last end this issue with the Blacklist. She leans against the ropes, using them as a prop as she attempts to support Matt in his attempt to at last destroy Harrison.

Brooklyn: This is what we’ve been building to…this is what we’ve been waiting for….make Sun Tzu happy.

A long sigh escapes from Gary’s lungs, deflating the pressure that has been building inside of him for so long. The tension can only be relieved via one method though, lifting the cane above the head of Harrison, who closes his eyes in anticipation of receiving his own concussion. This moment is finally here, Gary’s moment of redemption. He steps in and swings only to have the cane FREEZE right above Harrison’s head.

Dollar: GARY! Hit him….this is your shot!

Susie: Why isn’t he….?

The whole body of Gary Matt trembles as the Maniac holds the cane mere inches from Harrison’s waiting skull. Something….some unseen force must be compelling him to stop. That’s when his eyes float away from Harrison’s skull to the watching eyes of Taylor.

Gary: Is this what you want?

Chase nods in the affirmative and Gary goes back to Harrison’s waiting head.

Harrison: You heard her…so continue being her tool rather than an autonomous human being.

To the shock of everyone Gary turns away from Harrison and lowers his head at the same time that he lowers his cane.

Brooklyn: Gary….this is it….don’t walk away.

She continues to plead with Matt, stepping in and grabbing his shoulder.

Brooklyn: Please…

Matt brushes her hand off.

Gary: For the last time, leave me BE!

The brush off sends Brooklyn spiraling into the ropes, falling back first against them just as Harrison rushes in and delivers a lariat to her throat, flipping her up and over the cables to the outside of the ring.

Dollar: Brooklyn eliminated! She was just tossed by Harrison.

Susie: She was trying to mettle, and it cost her big time.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Gary has no idea what just happened, palming his eyes and rubbing them as he suffers a splitting migraine. The sneering Harrison then turns just as Buehler goes for the KTFO once again, overcoming the trauma in her hand to deliver this fatal blow. Suddenly Harrison ducks, and the cast covered arm flies over his head and drills Gary right to the back of his skull. Matt is sent staggering forward into the ropes and goes spilling over them to the outside.

Dollar: And now Gary is eliminated….Both cousins are gone from the Rumble!

Susie: And Harrison set that all up.

Shock doesn’t even begin to describe Gary’s reaction to this elimination, pushing himself up onto his elbow and looking truly crestfallen.

….4, 3, 2, 1….

The crowd barely has time to catch its breath before a familiar voice echoes through the arena.

Simon: Alright fuckers….the time is here…the time is now….

The place comes unglued when Simon Cagero steps through the curtains and takes a stand on the stage.

Simon: Cagero is here bitches!

Dollar: Yes….yes he is…and I have a feeling he’s about to drop a bombshell on us.

Clearly the commentator was NOT going out on a limb in making this prognostication.

Simon: Are you all ready? Are you mother fuckers prepared as you’ll ever be to have your worlds RRROOOOOCKED?

A response in the affirmative from the fans.

Simon: Cause it’s time…time to reveal my replacement in this match…..you know him….you love him…you’d let him go anal….ROMMEEEO DAAAMMMASSSCCUUUSS!

The reception couldn’t be any louder for Romeo Damascus, who steps through the curtains and to the stage, gingerly bobbing between feet.

Dollar: Romeo…Romeo Damascus!?!

Susie: He’s Simon’s replacement tonight.

Romeo turns towards Simon who not only offers some last second words of advice, but forks over the weapon…a weapon that has served Cagero quite well in the past….the microphone. Romeo then comes barreling down the ramp, sliding into the ring and instantly finding himself looking down into boots. His eyes move up from the boots to knees, to a stomach, to a chest, to the face of Harrison.

Dollar: And Romeo immediately finds himself mono a mono with Aaron Harrison.

Susie: Uh-oh, I had mono in highschool, left me bed ridden for like a month.

Instead of attacking, Harrison lets Romeo get to his feet so that the two are truly on eye level.

Harrison: So…you’re the hero, huh?

Romeo looks out over the crowd and then mocks Harrison’s sneer before driving the microphone right into the top of his skull. Aaron goes staggering back right into a big running mafia kick from Yvonne. The shot sends Aaron into a twirl, somehow remaining on his feet just as Amanda barrels in and collapses his skull with the Yakuza kick, a shot that sends Harrison turning absent mindedly into the shuffle side kick from Legion.

Much like Mika in the earlier in the night, Harrison finds himself a drooling mess. Somehow he stays on his feet as he turns and walks directly into the Epic Fail from Porno Lad. The spinning superkick sends Harrison turning right around into a superkick of the standard variety from Romeo.

The final kick is the icing on the cake, or the cap on the pen, knocking Harrison into the cables and ALMOST falling over them. Romeo, Amanda, and Yvonne all step in and begin to lift up on Harrison’s legs, trying to push him to the outside and eliminate him from this match.

Dollar: Harrison’s about to go over….he’s going to be eliminated after all those kicks!

10, 9, 8, 7….

Alana has hold of a flapjack, swinging it into the kidneys of Buehler, causing her to spiral across the ring and fall into the ropes. Starr then bashes her in the head with the flapjack, desperately trying to eliminate her. However, Buehler puts her cast covered hand into the air, blocking the shot from the flapjack.

After delivering the shuffle side kick to Harrison, Legion steps in and does the same to a kneeling Evans, cracking him in the temple with the strike. He then turns around in time to spot Kingdom going airborne with a dropkick to the behemoth’s chest. Legion falls back into the ropes and now Kingdom rushes in, trying to lift his legs to put him over the top rope. Andre steps in and lends assistance, trying to force him over the cables as well.

….3, 2….

TPKid steps across the ring and tries to assist Romeo, Yvonne and Amanda in eliminating Harrison….all hope seemingly lost for the Blacklist member.

…1….BUUUUZZ!

And that’s just what the crowd does…BUZZ with excitement….that is until Frankie Paradise shows up to kill the vibe.

Dollar: Oh lord, is Frankie going to compete in the Rumble?

Susie: He doesn’t look dressed to compete though. He hasn’t even taken off his power tie.

Frankie is not dressed to wrestle but he has no intention to wrestle. Currently his only intent is winking in a disgusted Chase’s direction then focusing all his efforts into providing an epic introduction.

Frankie: You call THAT an introduction, Simon!?! No….THIS is an introduction.

Frankie flexes his esophageal muscles so he can provide an introduction that would make Michael Buffer envious.

Frankie: Ladies and….actually just ladies….the moment has at last arrived me to reveal the single biggest free agent signing since I was recruited into the ranks of the IWC. So prepare yourselves, take the necessary precautions, sit down, have your asthma inhalers ready, because I’m about to make an announcement that wi….

That same greasy stage-hand that has been seen on several past events scrambles to Frankie’s side, cupping hands around his mouth to whisper into his ear. Frankie is beyond perturbed by this interruption, but even more-so anguished when he hears what the youngster is feeding him.

Frankie: WHAT!?!

Paradise can no longer contain himself.

Frankie: What do you mean he wants pyrotechnics? That wasn’t agreed upon….

All the Stage-Hand can do is shrug his shoulders, leaving a pained Frankie to try and navigate turbulent waters.

Frankie: Fine….fine….I’ll get the pyros taken care of….just send out the next entrant in the meanwhile.

The Stage-Hand scrambles to the back while Frankie FORCES a smile, waves to the hecklers and steps through the curtains. Just then a figure comes charging past him, that figure being Shaun Cruze, who goes sliding into the ring.

Dollar: And things have just gone from bad to worse for Harrison.

Susie: Presumably.

Dollar: Shaun Cruze….a rather enigmatic personality….the next entrant in the 2014 Last Stand Rumble.

And Shaun’s weapon of choice, as opposed to mind-games, a mallet of the croquet variety. A weapon he puts to instant use NOT by eliminating Harrison, but by saving him. He swings the weapon into the upper back of Damascus and then drives the weapon into the back of Amanda’s knee, bringing her to the canvas. Harrison manages to flick Yvonne in her eye, breaking her away from beneath him. He comes down to his feet, thankfully in the middle of the ring as opposed to the mats he was moments from being introduced to.

Harrison: Mr. Cruze.

Shaun: Mr. Harrison.

The two mirror one another’s grins just before Harrison lifts his foot and superkicks the inbound jaw of TPKid, knocking him to the canvas. Aaron then spins around and again eyes Shaun.

Dollar: At long last Shaun’s true colors are showing.

Susie: For weeks we’ve speculated about it….but now it’s clear, Shaun is nothing but a big mean.

Dollar: A big mean with a definite association with the Blacklist.

It seems this alliance is about to be immediately tested though, when Harrison reaches down and retrieves the cane from the canvas, placing it right across the throat of a temporarily blinded Yvonne. He now lifts her up into the air with her legs dangling above the canvas, kicking with the life being deprived from her body. Shaun steps back aghast over what he’s seeing and equally as appalled by what he hears.

Harrison: Here’s your initiation Shaun….destroy this whore!

Cruze mimics the same behavior as Gary a few moments earlier, looking between the weapon in his hand and the look of pain on Yvonne’s face….pained both physically and emotionally.

Dollar: Now Harrison demanding that Shaun beat down Yvonne…

Susie: Didn’t they USE to have a thing?

Dollar: And that’s exactly why Harrison is doing this.

As much as it hurts Shaun to do it, he lifts the mallet into the air and squeezes the handle tight.

Shaun: I’m sorry Ivy….I HAVE to do this.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Dollar: Thank God someone is about to do something about this…considering Yvonne really…really needs a hero.

Susie: She needs a hero….YAY….and he’s got to be strong and he’s got to be….

Dollar: No…PLEASE stop that.

Ivy is dire need of aid, given the fact that Amanda is currently being subjected to stomps to the sternum by Cassidy, Kingdom is still preoccupied trying to eliminate Legion, Evans is too busy recuperating from that shuffle side kick, and Robert is currently barreling across the ring and big splashing, Porno Lad, Katelyn and Kordy against one of the turnbuckles all at once.

…3, 2, 1…BUUUZZ!

Taylor longingly stares towards the curtains, relieved that someone is going to come out here and interfere on Yvonne’s behalf…they have TOO. And that person, that hero, that shining knight….no pun intended…P CLARENCE WHITMAN III.

Dollar: Oh GAWD.

Susie: Bye Ivy, we barely knew thee.

With a glass of brandy in his hand, Whitman moves to the stage and looks quite peevish. He nervously pulls on the ever so restrictive collar of his shirt and then uses the sleeve to wipe away sweat on his brow.

Dollar: Whitman? P Clarence Whitman III? HE’S Yvonne’s only help?

Evidently, as Romeo also finds himself cut off, being caught by Alana, who is trying to force him over the top rope to his elimaination….as it’s in Starr’s best interest that no one saves the woman out to be her undoing. Yvonne is going blue thanks to oxygen deprivation, the cane cutting all air off from reaching her head.

Whitman at last reaches the ringside area and gets to the apron rather tentatively. From the corner of his eye Harrison spots the former X-Class Champion and again…sneers.

Harrison: Don’t worry about him, Shaun….he’s irrelevant.

It isn’t clear what motivates Whitman to do it, but he explodes, standing up and exhausting the ammunition in his weapon, the amber liquid in his glass. He throws it directly into Harrison’s face.

Dollar: Ooooh snap!

Susie: Whitman just threw his brandy in Harrison’s face.

Dollar: He just killed himself.

Harrison slowly lets go of the cane and allows a gasping Yvonne to drop to the canvas before just as slowly affixing his eyes to Whitman’s trembling flesh.

Harrison: New game-plan, Shaun…HE’S your initiation.

A smile consumes Shaun’s face as he goes rushing after Whitman, who drops to the mats and takes off running. Shaun rolls out after him and is nipping at his heels as the two run around the ringside area.

Dollar: Whitman running and Shaun giving hot pursuit.

Susie: I guess he did save Yvonne in the long run though.

Dollar: Yeah, but in the process he’s damned himself.

Shaun keeps running after Whitman, who shows his remarkable cardio vascular function by leading Cruze into several laps around the ringside area. The running only ends when Clarence finds himself ALMOST bouncing off of Harrison’s chest.

Whitman backs away from Aaron, who rolled to the outside just in time to cut off his prey.

10, 9, 8, 7….

The sight of Whitman’s quivering lip brings a bigger sneer to Harrison’s face, relishing in the fear that he feels radiating from his pending victim.

Harrison: No steel chairs to save you this time, Wiggy.

Whitman backs up right into the chest of Shaun, prompting him to spin around with wide, horrified eyes glaring into the face of Cruze.

…4, 3….

Suddenly it becomes clear what Whitman has to do….finding his only means of escape. He drops to the mats and goes scrambling under the ring, disappearing beneath the tarp. Harrison goes right after him, throwing the tarp out of his way and with cane In hand he crawls along after the man who bludgeoned him with a chair at the End of the Year Special.

Shaun is about to give pursuit as well before looking up to spot Romeo diving through the ropes into a suicide headbutt, knocking both men to the mats.

…2, 1….BUUUUUZZZ!

In spite of everything going on in the ring…focus shifts to the entry way in anticipation of the next arrival….to which there is NONE.

Dollar: Ummm…where’s our next entrant?

Susie: Somebody getting jumped backstage again?

Dollar: Who knows…everything and anything that could happen, has happened here tonight.

The buzzer again sounds but there is no reaction from the backstage area, but no one in the ring takes notice, to preoccupied with their own squabbles. After sandwiching three opponents in one corner, Robert turns around and targets three others in the opposite turnbuckle. Kingdom and Evans have again thrown aside past differences in order to try and eliminate Legion, attempting to lift his enormous legs into the air. Just then Robert barrels across the ring and engulfs all three of them with his gigantic body.

Dollar: Another big splash from Bob.

Susie: Don’t be so ignorant, that’s ROBER…he’s nowhere near as cute as Bob.

Dollar: I stand corrected.

TPKid and Porno Lad have yet again crossed paths, exchanging shots while Yvonne crawls across the ring, grabbing the ropes to aid herself to her feet. She is rubbing her bruised throat and Cassidy looks to take advantage. She manages to pull her switchblade out of the top turnbuckle pad and then rushes across the ring at Ivy.

Cassidy: Time for you to pay for manipulating my Bosslady’s best friend…so sick of all this deceit!

The blade swings towards the turning face of Yvonne, aimed right at her eye. Before one of those purple pupils can be cut away, Cassidy finds her blade swinging wrist caught, caught in the gloved hands of Amana Blayze.

Amanda spins Cassidy around and drops her with a straight punch right to the jaw. Yvonne turns completely around and spots Amanda standing over Cassidy with the knife in her hand, having pried it from Hazes palm in the process of laying her out.

Yvonne: Stop Amanda….You don’t have to take it this far.

Amanda looks confused before she glances towards the knife in her hand then down at the terror being feigned by Cassidy, who is crying out for help with palms extended towards the blade wielding Blayze.

The knife instantly falls from Amanda’s hand as her head twists into a shake and her face twists into an expression of betrayal.

Amanda: You…you can’t believe I would….

Yvonne: Clearly you are NOT the woman I thought you were.

Blayze begins to plead her case but Yvonne’s attention is elsewhere, being grabbed by the shoulder. Romeo stands up on the apron and reaches over the ropes, trying to get hold of Knight, who suddenly drops back, launching her leg into the air and nailing Damascus to the top of the head with a pele kick.

The swift shot knocks Romeo to the outside of the ring, crashing across his back.

Dollar: Romeo pays for putting his hands on Knight.

Susie: Lucky she didn’t break it off and put it up his ass…which actually sounds BEYOND kinky.

Dollar: If Romeo is like Simon, he probably would enjoy it quite a bit.

The kick has Damascus laid out and Yvonne rising to her feet with her back turned towards Amanda…but more importantly…Cassidy.

Blayze spots the inbound Robert from the corner of her eye, prompting her to spin around and drill him to the cheek with a roundhouse kick, knocking the big man back. Cassidy acts quickly with both ladies backs turned in her direction. She stands up, grabs the mangled chair and drives it as hard as she can into Yvonne’s back, knocking her not only into the ropes but over them. Just as Ivy crashes to the mats, Haze turns towards Blayze and throws her the steel chair. Blayze catches it before it can connect to her face, then lifts it to destroy Cassidy only to see her already laid out on her back.

Dollar: Ivy is eliminated thanks to that chair shot from Cass….wait….wait a minute.

Susie: Uh oh spaghetti-Os.

The reason for the change in the commentator’s tones is trigged by Yvonne rolling to her knees on the mats and wearing her own mask of betrayal as she glares into the ring at the woman holding the chair…Amanda Blayze.

Ivy: So that’s how it’s going to be?

Once again Amanda finds her eyes scrambling from the chair in her hand to the disgruntled Yvonne at ringside, then the smile plastered on the laid out features of Cassidy.

Amanda: Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.

Ivy stands up reaching for her kidneys and mouthing obscenities towards Amanda, who stooped to such unscrupulous methods to eliminate her…or at least that’s how Cassidy made it look. Haze lies on her side chucking as Amanda stands on her feet exploding into rage. She throws aside the chair and tries to plead her case to Yvonne, but in the process exposes her backside to Kordy, who rushes in, grabs the back of Blayze’s head and throws her over the ropes.

However, Amanda catches herself as she flies over, landing on the apron as opposed to the outside mats. She then looks towards Ivy at ringside as opposed to her opponents in the ring.

Ivy: This isn’t over, Amanda….This is JUST beginning.

Suddenly the screen begins to suffer some pixilation and static….

Dollar: Wait….what’s going on here?

Susie: Damn static…how many times are we going to see this?

Suddenly Harrison rolls out from under the ring and looks violently ill. Instead of having his fists covered in Whitman’s blood, he finds his stomach filled with maggots….maggots now purging themselves to the mats beneath his face. The tarp then raises as Leeland Gaunt comes crawling out from under the ring, his cane in hand and Whitman following closely behind.

Dollar: It all makes sense now.

Susie: Does it?

Dollar: Well…kinda. Mr. Gaunt was the last entrant and he managed to materialize below the ring just in time to curse Harrison with that pestilence of maggots.

The worms continue to ooze from Harrison’s mouth, as his whole body goes bright white. Mr. Gaunt steps in and bends down to speak into Harrison’s ear.

Mr. Gaunt: Let the record show that Mr. Harrison just fell into my trap, hook line and sinker.

Obviously Mr. Gaunt is drawing back to the ‘win’ the Blacklist managed to accrue over Legion a few weeks ago by way of having Executioner masquerade as the N.H.B Champion. Gaunt then goes rolling into the ring, leaving Whitman to step towards Harrison, summoning the courage to bend down and shout into his ear as well.

Whitman: And….ah….just so you know…I had NOTHING to do with any of this, good sport.

Whitman then tentatively backs towards the ring. That’s just as Robert reaches over the ropes, wraps his hands around Whitman’s head and drags him right up onto the apron. He then begins to drive his knuckle across the top of Clarence’s head.

Robert: Your wiggy has made the list fiend!

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….

With his staff in hand Leeland rushes across the ring and drives his weapon right over the back of Kingdom, breaking him away from Legion. Evans then turns around and finds the cane cracked over his skull, knocking him back and through the ropes.

Cassidy then picks up the switchblade and swings it right down at Leeland’s cane only to have him lift it into the air, blocking the inbound weapon which finds itself impaled against Gaunt’s staff. Mr. Gaunt then swings the cane around, breaking Cassidy’s hand away from the handle of the weapon. He follows this by thrusting the cane stretched between both hands into Haze’s throat. The shot knocks Cassidy towards the ropes….ropes that Amanda is standing on the opposite side of.

Blayze reaches over the cables, grabs Cassidy by the hair, puts her in a front chancery and then heaves with all her strength. She holds Haze upside down for only a second before releasing and vertical suplexing Cassidy to the outside mats.

Dollar: And there goes Cassidy, Amanda getting a measure of revenge against her.

…3, 2, 1….BUUUZZZ!

Dollar: One leaves and then another enters.

To the stage strides Paradise, who feigns the most insincere of smiles in spite of all the aggravations he’s endured tonight.

Frankie: Alright-alright, NOW it’s time…time for the most EPIC debut in the history of EPIC debuts. I know….you’re sad, because now you won’t be seeing my glorious mug time and time again, but it’ll be okay, you’ll recover, cause you’ll get to feast your eyes on the one, the only….

That same Stage-Hand cuts off Paradise yet again.

Frankie: What now DAMMIT!?!

Another request is whispered into Frankie’s ear.

Frankie: Confetti? SERIOUSLY!?!

Another shrug from the Stage-Hand.

Frankie: Now he wants confetti? I just got done putting the dang pyros in place.

He scowls while running a palm down his face.

Frankie: Fine….FINE….let’s get a jump on this then.

The stage-hand rushes to the back.

Frankie: And while you’re at it, send the next entrant out here would you?

It’s clear that Frankie is BEYOND aggravated at this point as he embarks to the backstage area.

Dollar: Looks like Frankie STILL has not managed to make his new signee happy.

Susie: Who’s gonna come out here next then?

“Sweet Sacrifice” hits the speakers and Mark O’Brian hits the ring….and hits it with a 2×4 in hand. The second he gets to his feet, he swings around wildly and plows the 2×4 over the back of Legion. The armor provides little protection against this swift blow. O’Brian then swings for Gaunt, who ducks down out of the way. The momentum of the swing then sends Mark staggering forward into the forearm Amanda throws over the top rope into the side of his skull. O’Brian turns just as TPKid snatches up his baseball bat and comes barreling in only to be caught across the chest. Mark then flips back into the War Games…eliciting a huge pop from the crowd.

Dollar: Mark O’Brian of the tag team Total War getting physical and taking advantage of this weakened prey.

Susie: He’s stepping up big time.

Dollar: We saw he and Sophie debut on the last Riot! Brought in to help even the odds against the End Effect….but now, O’Brian is here to help himself….help himself win the Rumble and potentially become a World Heavyweight Champion.

Mark ascends to his feet before dropping down under an attempted lariat from Evans. In the process of said roll he snatches back up his 2×4. Once on his feet Mark turns and puts the 2×4 across Pat’s throat, while hooking his leg, then dropping back into the Russian leg sweep.

Katelyn is in the process of delivering knees and chops to the body of Alana, bringing her into the ropes and now trying to force her over. Porno Lad tries to step in and help only to have TPKid grab him by the back of the head and push him along into the cables, spilling over to the outside. He catches himself just before he can collapse to the mats.

TPKid then rushes in and throws a boot over the ropes into Porno Lad’s jaw, but he steps back and avoids it, causing his opponent to crotch himself over the cables. Lad then grabs the top rope and yanks up on it, sending Kid flopping into the air then landing on the apron beside the former World Champion. Porno Lad pulls his fist back on the verge of delivering a fatal blow only to have his arm caught from behind.

A bloodied Lad looks stunned as Hellkat reaches out from her tied position on the turnbuckle and catches him by the arms, pinning them behind his back. This exposes Lad to a series of open hand and knife edge chops from Kid.

Dollar: I had completely forgotten about Hellkat.

Susie: Mission accomplished.

Dollar: But Porno Lad being reminded the hard way that Hellkat is still in this Rumble.

Hellkat is tied literally, and now so is Porno Lad, unable to get an arm up to defend himself against this vicious assault from a vengeful Kid. But Lad seems to be nothing but a costly distraction for Hellkat, who is unaware that Kordy has climbed to the apron behind her and is now using the switchblade that Cassidy dropped to cut through the rope that binds the former World Champion to the turnbuckle.

Dollar: Hellkat…no…look out for Kordy.

It takes some doing but Kordy manages to cut the rope in two, freeing Hellkat. The second the rope begins to drop down around her knees, Hellkat’s face fills with distress, reaching down to grab the cable that has been instrumental in keeping her in this match. She pulls it back up trying desperately to wrap it around her body once again.

However, Lad turns around and grabs the cable, fighting for possession of it. TPKid steps in behind Lad, trying to get hands on him only to have his hair taken hold of by…Robert.

Robert: Your hair has made the list as well.

Another poorly timed wiggy twiggle takes place with Kid desperately fighting to get free.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Now Lad and Hellkat are still fighting for ownership of the cable, in a serious tug of war. Lad pulls with all of his strength just about to pry it out of Hellkat’s hands, prompting her to just….let go….Lad then falls back and AMOST tumbles off the apron.

Somehow Lad manages to hook an arm around the bottom cable while half his body hangs over the mats and the other half remains on the apron.

Dollar: AH DAMMIT….Lad almost eliminate but he’s hanging in there like an infestation of crabs.

Susie: I thought he was a goner for sure.

Hellkat groans as she steps forward across the apron to grab the rope that aided her in this match. But she takes her eyes off the most important factor….the athletes in the ring, one in particular and the boot that belongs to him.

Kingdom delivers a superkick right over the top rope and right into the side of Hellkat’s face, sending her twisting to the outside mats.

Susie: Okay, now I have even less reason to want to live.

Dollar: Hellkat gone…eliminated even after her brilliant play with the ropes.

Susie: And of all the people to eliminate her….Johnny Kingdom?

Kingdom falls to his knees after the elimination, holding his head and neck given the numerous shots he’s suffered thus far.

….3, 2, 1!

“Paint it Black” leads to an ovation that is really quite startling, and for good reason. Through the curtains steps….DESOLATION.

Dollar: And it just keeps getting bigger and bigger….Another former World Heavyweight Champion, Desolation stepping into the fray.

Susie: Oh my goodness….OH MY GOODNESS…Why did I have to wear my pants tonight?

Dollar: This is BEYOND huge…but umm…uhhh…not to kill the vibe, but where’s Desolation’s weapon?

Desolation slides into the ring without anything in his hands, but who needs weapons when you’re one of the most dangerous men in professional wrestling? Then again he’s coming face to face with another man who is equally as deadly, and equally as legendary. The crowd is on its feet positively salivating as Desolation steps up into the face of Kingdom, the two gong vie a vie.

Dollar: Two of the founding fathers of the IWC coming eye to eye….Johnny Kingdom just eliminated Desolation’s wife, Hellkat, meaning there is going to be HELL to PAY.

Susie: These two have clashed in the past in a rather historic Paranoia match….and history now repeating itself here in the Rumble.

Dollar: Legend versus Legend….right here….right now…right in the midst of the Rumble.

The only thing that takes their eyes off one another is the crowd’s reaction. Kingdom and Desolation turn to the raucous crowd, who are leaping out of their seats in anticipation of seeing these two go to war.

Dollar: This is EPIC.

Kingdom and Desolation back up, put hands up and prepare for battle just as Porno Lad steps in and slaps both men on their shoulders.

Porno Lad: Isn’t this ironic? The founding fathers of the IWC all in one place?

In spite of their mutual hatred for one another, if there’s one person they despise more than one another…it’s the man bold enough to put his hands on them.

Evans: It’s almost like a homecoming tonight guys.

Now Pat is slapping the pair of World Champions on their opposite shoulders

Porno Lad: Yeah….we’re like one big happy family again. And you know what families do? THEY HUG!

A lot of things are exchanged between Kingdom, Desolation and Evans, glares amongst them….but what won’t be exchanged are hugs….evident by the clinching of their fists.

Dollar: Looks like history is on the verge of repeatedy itself, because we’re about to have a four way war between four of IWC’s founding fathers.

No we’re not…instead what we get is three out four of IWC’s legends, being toppled by three of IWC’s hottest up and comers. Andre connects with a thrust kick to the back of Kingdom’s skull, while Alana nails a spinning heel kick on the button of Evans and Amanda delivers the running Yakuza kick right on the jaw of Porno Lad. The trio drops to the canvas and leaves nothing standing between Desolation and Mr. Gaunt. Though Gaunt has no hat to tip, he pantomines as if he does…..followed by a wink.

Desolation’s reaction, a lift of his finger, pointing over Gaunt’s back. Leeland grins, as if he didn’t already know that Kordelia was closing in behind him, hence why he juts his cane through his arm into the inbound ribs of Price, doubling her over. He then spins around in a complete circle so that the butt of his cane nails Kordy in her temple, rendering her near unconscious.

Leeland then shocks the world by sticking the cane through Kordelia’s legs and using it to lift her up into a release overhead Sambo suplex.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6….

No one knows why, except for the Dark Man himself, but Desolation does not jump into the thick of things, instead hanging back and biding his time.

He observes Porno Lad being pulled along into the ropes and then ALMOST being tossed over them by Amanda. But Blayze can’t get him all the way over the cables because Robert intervenes, log rolling himself into her shins and Lad’s shins, knocking the pair down to the canvas. He then stands up and surveys both opponents, pointing to one, Amanda, and gauging the crowd’s response. The fans are vehemently opposed to him eliminating Blayze, which is why he now points to Porno Lad, who gets an overwhelming response, the fans unanimously supporting Robert in eliminating the Original Prankster.

Robert approaches him and grabs Lad by the hair, leading him up to his feet, but instead of tossing him to the outside, a side headlock is applied.

Robert: And YOU Sir, are at the TOP of the list!

The mother of all wiggy twigglings is employed on Porno Lad, as he desperately tries to fight free.

Dollar: Yeah! Twiggle that wiggy and twiggle it good!

Whitman is employing the Hellkat strategy at this point, crawling into one of the corners and wrapping his whole body around the turnbuckle post in the fetal position.

Dollar: Looks like Whitman has learned that Mr. Hush pillbug grip, wrapping himself around the turnbuckle so he can’t be eliminated.

…4, 3, 2, 1….

Susie: Who? Who next?

Dollar: Good God…I don’t know…Santa Claus?

Susie: Don’t get my hopes up, Johnny, don’t you dare get my hopes up like that.

Of all the past legends, present stars and future talent…who is the next to enter the Rumble…and to the tunes of “Paint it Black” no less?

Not the man dressed in a black leotard and ski mask….but the object he carries in an already set-up position….LADDER!

Dollar: Mind officially RAPED!

Susie: Johnny….lookie…looklie…LOOK…it’s him…it’s her…it’s IT!

Dollar: Ladder…the former Cartel Champion way back when….is the next entrant in the 2014 Rumble….yes….you just heard me correctly….LADDER is the next entrant in the 2014 Rumble….let me repeat that for all those who think they’re Zoloft isn’t kicking in….LADDER….

Susie: No matter how many times you repeat it, you just can’t make it sound epic enough.

The fans are in an absolute frenzy as Ladder is carried to ringside, but it doesn’t come empty hand….empty ‘runged?’ for wrapped around it’s center is the coveted Cartel Championship.

Dollar: And it’s even brought along a weapon….

Susie: Yep….the Cartel Title, which was also Cartel Champion at one point.

Dollar: Jeez, and people wonder why the IWC went on hiatus for so long.

Susie: Don’t even TRY to denounce the magnitude of that awesome era in wrestling.

Alana presently has dragged Kingdom into the ropes, stepping through them onto the apron and taking residency in front of the Team Leader. She grips him in a front chancery and drops back, trying to drag him down over the cables and to his elimination, but Johnny has hold of the top rope with both hands, refusing to go over.

Andre presently has TPKid in one of the corners, nailing him with a barrage of rights and lefts to his chest and stomach, doing unspeakable damage to his internal organs. But Kid can give just as good as he takes, stepping out the corner and delivering a knife edge chop to Jordan’s chest. He then rakes Jordan’s eyes, and grabs the man who has been in there since number two by the leg, trying to heave him up and over the cables. Andre again is forced to latch onto the top rope, gripping them tighter than a vice.

Katelyn is valiantly fending off the attempt of Blayze to eliminate her, but finds herself hanging completely over the top rope, placing a palm on the apron to keep herself up in a headstand. Desolation now drags Ladder into the ring and turns the former Champion into a weapon….a very potent one at that.

Kid turns just as Desolation rushes across the ring and drives Ladder directly into his face, toppling him to the canvas. He then turns, adjusts Ladder across his chest and then rushes towards Kordy who has leaped onto Robert’s back, throwing repeatedly forearms over his head to try and break his twiggy wiggle on Porno Lad.

Ladder is an equal opportunity offender, driving into the bodies of all three combatants, launching Kordy across the ring.

Dollar: Desolation proficiently using Ladder as a weapon.

Susie: Or is Ladder using Desolation as a weapon….Hmmm…just something to ponder.

Dollar: Yes, while I’m sitting on the toilet at 3AM suffering taco shits.

As Ladder and Desolation do some serious damage, Gaunt approaches Whitman, slapping him on the shoulder several times….but nothing breaks Clarence’s grip around the turnbuckle.

Mr. Gaunt: Mr. Whitman….OOOH Mr. Whitman! This is definitely not the chivalry I saw from you last week.

Whitman: Go away, I’m meditating….oh ah….yes…meditating!

Leeland sighs and looks over his shoulder towards Legion, snapping his fingers.

Mr. Gaunt: Would you be so kind?

Legion steps across the battlefield, grabs Whitman around the waist and tears him away from the corner, forcing him to stand tall with his back wedged against the turnbuckle.

Mr. Gaunt: You WILLL be a hero, Mr. Whitman….you WILL conquer fears and emerge from the other side like Buehler….a butterfly from the cocoon.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Legion heaves Whitman into the air with both hands grasping his throat and then turns, tossing him into the middle of the ring. The moment Whitman land son his feet, Desolation swings Ladder around and crashes all the rungs right into Clarence’s body. Gaunt cringes and scratches anxiously at the back of his neck.

Mr. Gaunt: Ummmm….maybe we should have thought that one out a bit clearer.

The onslaught from Ladder finally concludes when Harrison, who has purged himself of the maggots twisting his bowels, steps in behind and drills Desolation over the back with a Singapore Cane. Ladder then falls to the canvas with Desolation stooped over it. Just then Starr rushes across the ring and connects with a scissors kick to the back of the Dark Man’s head driving him down face first into the rungs of his very own weapon.

Desolation bounces off the steel and then rolls away as the countdown continues.

….2, 1….BUUUUZZ!

Dollar: Good lord I shudder to think who’s gonna come out here next.

The answer to that question isn’t anything as outlandish as a Ladder who was once champion….it’s a man of flesh and blood….Frankie Paradise.

Dollar: Oh lord…not again.

Frankie: Everything is officially sorted people. The confetti and fireworks are in place….so without further ado, it is my esteemed honor to announce that the next entrant in the 2014 Rumble, is the man I labored tirelessly to sign to an IWC contract, the man who will instantly redeem the Board’s faith in me, the man of sheer legendary sta….

Through the curtains steps not a legend, but scurries that same annoying stagehand. Almost instantly Frankie finds himself grieved.

Frankie: Don’t….don’t even….

A palm is raised before the Stagehand’s mouth.

Frankie: What does he want NOW!?!

The ever so nervous stagehand debates how to break the news delicately.

Stagehand: Cheerleaders.

Frankie: Cheerleaders? CHEERLEADERS!?! Where the hell am I supposed to find cheerleaders!?!

How does the Stagehand react….with a shrug of course.

Frankie: Dammit…dammit…DAMMIT!

He stops both feet in total aggravation.

Frankie: Just send out the next entrant while I figure this out.

To the back walks Paradise and the Stagehand, while from the back emerges…Gavin Taylor. Adam Chase follows his client, holding the Tag Team Title belt Gavin netted unintentionally. Now Taylor races down the ramp looking to capture another championship, this one entirely by merit of his choice.

Dollar: And Gavin Taylor racing to the ring….the man of many monikers looking to make another name for himself here tonight….Rumble winner.

Susie: Will he actually go on to face his own sister-in-law for the title at Invictus?

Dollar: Well now…good question…but the prospect of main eventing Invictus is a pretty strong motivator.

Susie: And challenging for the title.

Gavin pauses at ringside and turns back towards Chase….the two discussing strategy….but that pow-wow ends with a potential pow-pow….TPKid sliding towards the ropes, reaching down through them and grabbing Gavin’s ears.

TPKid: Get in here bitch!

Taylor is dragged up onto the apron before crying out towards Adam, who throws the Tag Title to his client. Gavin catches it and employs the Tag belt as his weapon, ramming it directly into Kid’s face. The shot from the Tag Title sends Kid spinning back towards the center of the ring where he receives a big running spear by Blayze, putting him down to the canvas.

Amanda then stands up just as Gavin does the same on the apron and rushes in for a SECOND spear on the man who pinned her at NewAge.

Taylor side steps the spear and puts the tag belt where he WAS standing, causing Amanda’s skull to hit the gold and for her body to go limp.

Mr. Gaunt steps over Ladder, bending down to check on the condition of Desolation….. but exposing his back to O’Brian in the process.

Mark steps over Ladder, hooks his leg around Gaunt’s, places the 2×4 across his throat and then snaps back into the Russian Leg Sweep. Mr. Gaunt’s back collides forcefully against Ladder’s surface, but so too does Mark’s, leaving both men ailing. Harrison looks over his shoulder and realizes this, seeing both men in a state of agony and prompting him to slide through the ropes to the apron. The turnbuckle is quickly scaled, the New Breed getting to the very top rope, extending arms out to his sides and then going airborne. He flies across the ring and connects with a senton bomb across the chests of BOTH Mark AND Leeland.

Dollar: Harrison killing himself to get revenge on Gaunt, with O’Brian caught as collateral damage.

A hurting Harrison rolls away, gripping at his battered body, leaving Gaunt and O’Brian exposed across Ladder’s surface. This prompts Robert to do the inconceivable, climbing the nearest turnbuckle and then throwing himself off into a big Vader bomb directed at Mark and Gaunt. The two roll out of the way of the vicious red haired behemoth, causing him to crash across Ladder’s surface and knocking all the air from his body.

Robert remains stretched over Ladder….but the crowd isn’t watching the ring, they’re watching Legion ascend the turnbuckle. Though it’s a dangerous gamble, it’s one Legion is willing to take. He gets to the top rope, which proves costly when Evans steps across the apron and reaches out, grabbing him by the ankle. He tries to lift up on the leg and trip Legion over backwards, intentionally targeting the ankle he worked over earlier with his submission hold

Dollar; Evans could be on the verge….he might be…he might be about to eliminate Legion.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Evans decides to climb up the turnbuckle and get on Legion’s level, both men standing on the corner with Pat in front of the N.H.B Champion and his hand reaching down into his pocket. He slowly extracts the steel chain, wrapping it around his fist and then swinging to both the sounds of despair and delight, for Legion’s jaw. But the N.H.B Champion ducks and suddenly catches Evans across the chest, then hooks his leg, heaves him up and flips back into the moonsault fallaway slam from the top rope, putting Pat down spine first right across LADDER.

Dollar; HOLY JESUS ON ROLLER SKATES!

Susie: AHHHH-MAZIN!

Dollar: Legion just did it…I think he…I think he might have killed Pat Evans.

The crowd is so stunned by what they just witnessed that they barely even notice the timer cycling down to zero.

….2, 1….BUUUZZZ!

Kitty Buehler barely even waits for her entrance music to finish playing before she comes rushing down the ramp and straight towards the ring. She pauses only briefly at ringside to make a cross formation in front of her chest, say a little prayer to the heavens and then leap up to the apron. She grabs the top rope and prepares to dive over just as Kingdom steps in out of nowhere and blasts her directly to the jaw with a superick, knocking her out of the air and down to the apron.

Dollar: Kingdom not one for the good book apparently.

Susie: He just NAILED Kitty right to the jaw with that superkick!

Kitty collapses to the mats just as Shaun comes rushing past her, having been whipped into the steel steps by Romeo.

Damascus then turns focus back to the ring, leaping to the apron, grabbing the top rope and preparing to leap over just as Kingdom steps in and drills him to the jaw with a superkick, a fatal blow that knocks Romeo out of the air and back down to the mats.

Dollar: Kingdom is just going nuts with these superkicks!

Susie: He’s not letting anyone get back into the ring.

Dollar: Not like there’s any space left IN the ring for someone to enter.

With Tag Title in hand, Gavin crouches behind Andre at this point, waiting for the incredibly winded Jordan to spin around. A fatigued Andre turns just as Gavin rushes in and swings the belt at the face of a man he’s already dubbed ‘ugly’ in past verbal exchanges….now he literally might make him ugly. But Jordan isn’t about to get his face re-arranged, he ducks and as a result the Tag Title flies over his head cracking Robert in the jaw and sending the rotund figure staggering across the ring.

Gavin then spins around and lifts the belt above his head, about to run in and drive it into Andre’s face only to have the strap stolen right from his clutches. Gavin spins around in an outraged state when he spots the Championship being coveted by Porno Lad.

Porno Lad: Oh baby, we’ve been away for too long.

An infuriated Gavin reaches out for Porno Lad’s shoulder, grabbing him and spinning him around just as Lad launches the belt instinctively into Taylor’s face. At the last second Gavin ducks, the title flying right over his skull and into the face of Andre. Jordan collapses to the canvas with Porno Lad standing above him belt in hand and bloodied face looking on without emotion.

Porno Lad: Ah well, at least the two of us are back together again.

Lad places a kiss on the Tag Title, failing to realizing that the OTHER half of the gold has been sitting on the canvas mere feet away throughout this entire Rumble….dropped earlier on by TPKid.

Gavin now grabs Lad by the shoulder and spins him around just as Lad swings the gold at his face once again.

Porno Lad: NOTHING will keep us apart!

Lad swings once again and Gavin ducks once again, causing the belt to soar over his face and right towards Robert’s already bludgeoned skull. But suddenly Robert opens his mouth and catches the Tag Title belt in his teeth. A flabbergasted Porno Lad pulls back on the strap but can’t get it out of Robert’s jaws.

Dollar: Robert has caught the Tag belt in his mouth and he’s NOT letting go.

10, 9, 8, 7…..

A frazzled Shaun gets to his feet and grabs the top rope when he spots Mr. Gaunt crawling across the ring before him. He now goes airborne with the presumption of hitting a springboard move only to have Kingdom step in out of nowhere and blast him to the jaw with a superkick, knocking him to the outside mats.

Dollar: And now Shaun falls victim to the kick too!

Lad is still trying to get the belt out of Robert’s teeth but he just can’t…

….3, 2, 1!

Who can it be? Who can it be? Why…Ashley-Marie Chase….that’s who it be.

The well dressed socialite stops on the stage, winks to her sister and then barrels towards an already filled ring where there is barely even room to breathe.

Dollar; Ashley-Marie looking to achieve her dream of holding the World Heavyweight Title, even if it comes at the expense of her own sister.

Susie: But first she’s got to find a way into the ring….I don’t know the last time I’ve seen a ring so packed.

Ashley climbs to the apron and then begins to enter the ring before Kingdom steps in and….no….a kendo-stick connects with the back of his supporting knee, Harrison taking him out before he can interfere.

Johnny collapses to the canvas while Ashley slides into the ring and then goes right after the very man who just helped her. But Harrison shows he was not interested in aiding Ashley, he just wanted her for himself. He swings around with the cane and Ashley ducks, stepping over Ladder and then waiting for Harrison to spin around.

Aaron turns and gets a kick to the gut, both arms hooked and a PEDIGREE right on top of Ladder.

Dollar: Ashley with an emphatic statement within seconds of entering the Rumble.

In the meanwhile Robert is reaching out and grabbing Lad by the hair, mouthing words even though his teeth are clamped about the belt.

Robert: Time to eliminate the first reprobate on Robert’s list.

A horrified Lad begins to be dragged towards the ropes before screaming out towards Buehler…..Katelyn Buehler that is.

10, 9, 8, 7…..

It pains Buehler to do it, but she swings around and drills Robert under the jaw with the KTFO the moment that the red haired demon has turned focus in the direction of the ropes. The blow sends Robert twisting away from the cables but still keeping his teeth clamped about the title belt. He turns right in time to be hit with the Real Men Use Lariats from Taylor. The blow sends Robert spiraling into the ropes and falling against them just as Porno Lad spins around and connects with the Epic Fail.

To the dismay of everyone watching at home and crammed into the seats of the Amway Center, Robert flips over the top rope and tumbles with a resounding thud across the outside mats.

Susie: Thank God, evil Bob is gone….now good Bob can come back and we can all dance in the parsley patch.

Dollar: It took three individuals to do it, but they finally eliminated Robert. A man who’s size advantage should have given him a huge leg up in this Rumble.

Susie: Can Robert even lift his leg?

Dollar: Only when he’s pissing.

A blubbery Robert rolls to his elbows and knees with the tag belt still hanging from between his teeth, something that Gavin has taken instant notice of. He leans over the ropes shouting down at Robert.

Gavin: You return my belt this instant you human blob! If you so much as drool on it….I swear to God I’ll….

Suddenly TPKid rushes in behind Gavin and cracks him in the back of his skull with the OTHER Tag Team Title, sending Taylor plummeting up and over the cables to the outside of the ring.

Dollar; And Gavin Taylor eliminated right alongside Robert!

Susie: Can you blame him? He was trying to get back his bright and shinny from Robert.

Dollar: I’m guessing Robert has mistaken the belt for a chunk of ham.

….3, 2, 1…BUUUZZZ!

Ashley rushes across the ring and hits Blayze to her upper back, sending her spiraling into the turnbuckle where she’s now subjected to boot after boot to the ribs. Chase is truly vengeful….fired up to inflict punishment on the woman who ‘presumably’ almost broke her nose at NewAge.

As this chaos continues Jackson Adams comes sliding into the ring looking all fired up. With a pair of brass knucks covering his fist, he swings his right hand directly into the jaw of an ailing Harrison, knocking him flat on his back. He then catches the inbound Alana with a blow right between the eyes, knocking her flat on her ass.

Dollar; Jackson Adams yet another entrant in tonight’s Rumble, and he’s putting brass knuckles to very good use thus far.

Susie: Was wondering when Adams would finally come out here after he managed to manipulate his way out of getting caught by the End Effect earlier tonight.

Dollar: Yeah, and the table they brought out for Adams is STILL right there at ringside.

Jackson: Anymore punks want some of Adams….huh….huh!?!

Yes…quite a few actually….including Katelyn, who steps in and begins to pepper Adams with rights and lefts to the body. At the same time Damascus and Shaun are recovering at ringside, slowly working their way to their feet. They end up face to face and start to exchange right hands with one another from their kneeling base upon the mats. Their battle of attrition continues until Kitty steps in ailing from the kick to the chin and grabs BOTH men by their heads.

Kitty: You shall have your salvation, boys.

She swings their heads towards one another only to have Shaun and Romeo refuse to budge, their heads getting nowhere near close. Buehler again tries to shoe their heads against one another, but gets them no closer.

Dollar: Erm Kitty, I think this is a lost cause.

Kitty at long last realizes the futility of her actions and now backs up as both Shaun and Romeo get to their feet, gazing upon the woman who tried so unsuccessfully to inflict concussions upon them. She then rolls into the ring to prevent being destroyed by the two and rushes around behind a recovering Whitman, employing him as a human shield.

Kitty: If you protect me, Whitman, I’ll be the minister at your wedding free of charge…Whaddaya say?

Clarence thinks about it for a few moments…if he’s capable of thinking after that shot from Ladder. The state of Whitman’s body suddenly dawns on Kitty, who grabs him by the shoulders and forces him to stand fully erect.

Kitty: Come on, Whitman, accept Jesus into your heart, buck up and protect me.

The moment she stads Whitman up, Adams steps in out of nowhere and nails Clarence to the jaw with the brass knucks. Whitman’s eyes roll to the back of his head, he lifts his finger as if to say something but then does the proverbial Flair Flop to the canvas.

Kitty then steps back surveying what she just set into motion.

Kitty: Erm….uhhh…maybe I should have thought this out clearer.

She then looks towards Adams, who swings around with his brass knucks for HER jaw as well.

Kitty: WAIT!

He doesn’t know why he hesitates, but he does. Perhaps out of some morbid curiosity.

Kitty: It’s time to unveil MY weapon! The power of Christ!

Jackson’s face twists into an expression of confusion while Kitty steps back.

Kitty: Lord…SMITE this heathen!

Eyes cut to the scaffolds….Kitty expecting a lightning bolt…but getting nothing.

Kitty: Oh….well I guess the good lord only helps those who help themselves.

She rushes in with hands interlocked and raised above her head for the double axehandle only to have Jackson turn her own momentum against her, leading her along by the back of the head into the ropes which have been low bridged by BOTH Shaun AND Romeo. Buehler flies over them and collapses across the mats.

Dollar: And there goes Kitty…

Susie: Guess she wasn’t a true believer after-all.

Adams is in the process of waving goodbye to her and chuckling.

10, 9, 8…

Adams is spun around by both Mr. Gaunt and grabbed by the crease of his knee. JA collapses to his back and Mr. Gaunt tries to step through the legs in order to apply a Gordian Knot only to turn and find Harrison swinging a Singapore Cane towards his face. Gaunt side steps the cane and catches Harrison by the arm though, forcing him down to the canvas and applying a fujiwara.

No…he doesn’t get that submission locked in because an extremely addled Evans comes limping in, every part of his anatomy hurting but his foot still traveling towards Gaunt’s face. That is until Mr. Gaunt catches his foot and then stands up, delivering the dragon screw leg whip and then wrapping one around the other and turning him over to his chest with a Texas Coverleaf.

But just before Gaunt can get the hold established, Kordy rushes in behind him and catches the back of his head gong for a one handed bulldog. But Gaunt breaks the hold in favor of turning and pushing the hand away from his head then grabbing Price’s arms and wrapping them around one another, applying the Million Dollar Dream submission hold.

….3, 2, 1…

Some strange Dr. Who inspired rift plays over the PA system to a rather uproarious response. All eyes then shift from the chaos consuming the ring to the robot lowering from the rafters, that robot being, Red Dalek!

Dollar: Just when you thought we couldn’t get enough inanimate objects in the ring….

Susie: That’s no way to talk about Jackson Adams.

Dollar: Now we’re getting Red Dalek….the murder machine.

Susie: Can this Rumble get any crazier.

Dollar: You know it.

That same individual in a black leotard who brought Ladder into play detaches the support cables from Red Dalek and then exits to let the weapon do its damage. But the weapon just sits there, doing absolutely nothing, save for raising its mechanical arms every once and a while.

Dollar: Behold the power of Red Dalek.

Susie: Awesome doesn’t even begin to describe this.

Mr. Gaunt breaks the million dollar dream just Andre steps in from behind and throws a unch at the back of his head. Suddenly Leeland turns around, steps about the arm and applies the Tazzmission on Jordan.

Dollar: Gaunt showing his technical repertoire here tonight….he’s much more than a mere manager.

But that technical mastery comes to an end when Porno Lad steps in going for the Epic Fail…..wait….no it doesn’t…..Leeland breaks the Tazzmission, side steps the boot and catches Lad in the process. He hooks a leg and then the arm, and then wraps a leg around Lad’s neck, applying an octopus stretch to a massive uproar from the crowd.

Dollar: And another hold….OOOOH.

Suddenly Adams steps in and blasts Mr. Gaunt between the eyes with a pair of brass knuckles. Like a sack of potatoes Mr. Gaunt is dropped to the canvas with Legion responding just a bit too late to come to his summoner’s aid. He rushes in only to have a baseball bat swung into his inbound knee from TPKid. The blow doubles Legion over just as Evans snatches hold of a steel chain, wrapping it around his fist, he then steps in and blasts the N.H.B Champion to his jaw. The shot knocks Legion into a spiral, turning towards another shot from the other steel chain previously brought into this bout by Gary Matt, one swung by Mark O’Brian.

Legion collapses to his back right alongside Leeland.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

All the while Desolation is setting up Ladder and climbing up it, about to dive off into some type of stunning display. He only gets about half way up Ladder before Adams steps in and blasts him to the kidneys with a shot from the brass knuckles. He then turns his body, steps under Desolation and reaches out, hooking his arms. Adams manages to take a few steps up the rungs before dropping off Ladder and delivering a throwing crucifix bomb on Desolation.

….3, 2, 1….

Dollar: Now WHO!?!

Susie: Or what!?!

As the buzzer sounds through the building, thick smoke forms on the stage and through it stumbles a dazed looking SPIDER.

Dollar: What in the hell? Who is this drug added, Grateful Dead listening to, Seattle grunge attired loser?

Susie: I think he may have Pat Evans beat in terms of greasiest superstar.

Dollar: Speaking of which, is Evans even still alive right now?

Romeo and Shaun are now standing on the apron, exchanging fist after fist between one another’s faces just as a foot comes into play, traveling towards their cheeks. They turn just in time to cause Johnny Kingdom to stop and grin, slowly lowering his leg down to the canvas and forming a slight smirk.

Johnny: Damn…can’t fault me for trying.

Spider continues slowly down the ramp before stopping at ringside and stealing a fans’ half-eaten hotdog, taking a few nibbles of it. He then turns and spits it all right back out.

SPIDER: DAMN…that is the WORSE popsicle I’ve ever eaten.

Within the ring Alana, who looks like she’s had a bucket poured over her body due to sheer exhaustion, steps towards the fracas between Ashley and Amanda, getting involved in their affairs. She spins Ashley away from Blayze and delivers a boot to her ribs, then a swift forearm to her face. Blayze then steps out of the corner, grabs Ashley by the shoulder and spins her around so that she can drive a forearm of her own into Chase’s jaw.

Ashley turns around and Alana scoops her up, turning to throw her over the ropes and to the outside of the ring, but Chase slides off and lands on her feet behind her opponent. She then turns just as Amanda swings around into a roundhouse kick that is ducked by the fashion template.

Chase rushes across the ring, ricochets from the far ropes and then dives at both Alana and Amanda who turn in time to receive simultaneous spears to their ribs. Ashley takes out BOTH opponents to a truly orgasmic reaction from the fans.

Dollar: Ashley is all worked up here tonight, evident via that doublely dangerous spear.

Susie: And one of the women she targeted was naturally Amanda Blayze.

Shaun and Romeo are now sliding into the ring where Kingdom is waiting, all three men exchanging fists between one another. The three way brawl continues until Adams comes rushing across the ring with Ladder stretched across his chest, driving it into this trio of brawlers.

The blow from Ladder sends Cruze, Damascus and Kingdom spilling over ropes, but not to the outside mats. Somehow the three land on the apron and manage to grab the cables before they can crash to the floor.

Dollar: Adams ALMOST took out three men at the same time.

Susie: Not just three men….but three of the biggest threats in this Rumble.

Another individual who finds himself threatened with the prospect of an elimination is Harrison, who finds himself loaded up in Pat’s arms and being carried towards the ropes. Pat turns his back to the cables and drops back, trying to throw Harrison over the cables into a fallaway slam….but Aaron twists his body in mid-air, catches Evans around the neck then snaps back into a DDT….planting Pat’s skull directly into a tire iron and a microphone.

Jackson steps back and sets Ladder up in the center of the ring. Leaving it face to face with Red Dalek.

Dollar: Oh no….OOOOH no….

Susie: Move over Bret Hart versus Stone Cold, move over Hulk Hogan versus The Rock….THIS is the face off of the past two centuries….this is Red Dalek and Ladder.

SPIDER scrambles into the ring and instantly gets between Ladder and Dalek, trying to calm their fiery passions.

SPIDER: Come on guys, calm down, take it down a notch. You don’t have to do this…you don’t have to fight over me….I can love you both equally.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Dollar: How many people are left in this damned thing?

Susie: And how long have people like Andre Jordan and Alana Starr been in there now?

Dollar: Their drawing ever so closer to an hour of competition at this point, and they haven’t rested one second of it.

….3, 2, 1….

“Good Man” by Devour the Day elicits an incredibly mixed reaction…one that Hurse pays no attention to as he bolts down the ramp, heading for one individual and one individual alone….and it isn’t Shaun Cruze.

Dollar: Hurse the next entrant in the Rumble…and it looks like he’s on a mission.

With a railroad spike in hand Hurse slides into the ring right between Shaun and Kingdom, who both slowly rise to their feet. Cruze then steps in and nails Kingdom with a boot to the ribs before placing him in a front chancery. He tries to heave Johnny into the air and into a vertical suplex off the apron and to the outside mats, but Kingdom manages to wrap an arm around the middle cable.

That’s when Romeo steps in behind Shaun and wraps arms around his waist, setting up for a German suplex off the apron and to the outside mats. The crowd erupts only to see Cruze wrap his arms around the top cable, staving off elimination. Ashley-Marie then steps across the ring and grabs Shaun by the arm, holding down on it so he can’t be suplexed.

Romeo wrenches back even further on the attempted suplex now hanging over the mats, leaning back off the apron with the arches of his feet balanced on the edge of the apron. Shaun holds tight to the top rope and to the hands of Ashley-Marie, shaking his head and roaring as his arms are almost torn out of their sockets.

Ashley: Hold on Cruze..just hold on!

The friends with benefits continue to work together to keep Shaun from being eliminated. But that alliance ends when Adams leaps into the air behind Ashley and connects with a dropkick between her shoulder blades, sending her flipping up and over the ropes, spilling down through the legs of Shaun and crashing to the mats beneath him.

Dollar: Adams just eliminates Ashley-Marie Chase while she was trying to hold onto Shaun.

Susie: Her ‘feelings’ for Shaun just cost her dearly!

Jackson then gets to his feet and smiles in the direction of a distraught Taylor Chase watching from the stage.

That grin is removed though when Shaun pulls himself back to the apron and drives his shoulder through the ropes into Jackson’s ribs. The momentum of shooting himself towards the ring also causes Romeo to stand up straight and then fly over Shaun’s back, over the ropes, and over Jackson’s back, catching him by the hips and pulling him down into the sunset flip. But Adams rolls right out of the sunset flip onto his feet and then dives in with brass knuckles connecting right across Romeo’s forehead, knocking him out.

Damascus’ face bounces off the canvas and then Shaun’s face bounces off of Kingdom’s boot. Johnny delivers another superkick this time right on Cruze’s jaw, knocking him from the apron and sending him twisting to the outside mats.

Susie: SHAUN has gone bye-bye!

Dollar: Another elimination, this time thanks to a very fortuitous Kingdom superkick!

Susie: Really no surprise there, Kingdom and the Cruze family have never gotten along….NEVER.
Johnny steps through the ropes and puts himself out of a very precarious predicament…or really saves one precarious predicament for another. He enters the ring just as Jackson swings around with the brass knuckles to take out his former mentor….and just as it seems he’s going to crush Kingdom’s orbital socket with the brass, in dives Hurse.

Hurse: WHOA! Stop guys!

Jackson and Johnny look confused as they turn towards Hurse, who is removing his t-shirt to reveal an “Empire” t-shirt on beneath.

Hurse: What do you guys say? How abouts we get the band back together?

Johnny and Jackson exchange tense glances followed by groans.

Hurse; Think about it, we’ll totally run roughshod over this whole roster and chase the Chase’s out of here for good, and then bring down Orlando and rebuild the IWC in OUR im…

He suddenly gets an answer, a kick to the gut followed by the Package Piledriver from Adams. Jackson then drops back and sends Hurse rolling over top of him abscent mindedly into a front chancery, Kingdom heaving him up into the brainsbuster DDT.

Dollar: I don’t think that worked out quite the way Hurse had envisioned.

Susie: Well he only has one eye….so that kind of means he has envision problems.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Harrison picks up the Singapore cane at this point and approaches both Mr. Gaunt and Legion, while Alana and Porno Lad do the same. That’s when BOTH Gaunt and Legion SIT-UP into crab crawl positions. They then stand directly up from these odd postures and go back to back.

Dollar: Mr. Gaunt and Legion are ALIVE…they’re ALLLLLIVVE!

The crowd is so incredibly excited at the sight of the masked Legion and his mentor about to battle against the numbers. They then dive into the chaos….The battle sends Legion throwing fist after first…left handed of course, into the forehead of Harrison, who falls into the rungs of Ladder. Legion then throws a punch at his face only to have Aaron step out of the way, causing the Crusader’s arm to fly through the rungs and his shoulder to collide with one of the supports in the process.

….4, 3….

Some odd Dr. Who inspired rift starts to play through the speakers….

Dollar: OOOOH PLEASE! Anything….anyone but this! I don’t even like Doctor Who.

Susie: BLASPHEMER!

Above the chaos, hung from the rafters, we now see the motorized death machine, Red Dalek.

Susie: It’s here, Red Dalek is here to compete in the Rumble!

Marie Jones stands behind the curtains, holding a long steel pipe across her palms as she twists from one side to the other, limbering up for competition. Pressure is exerted on her muscles, providing just enough tension to make sure their ready for battle. She is just about to step into the battleground when….

Frankie: Whoa..whoa…whoa….hold up there, Red.

Marie took a step towards the entry way before freezing, her eyes cutting to the pompous smirk that approaches her. The grin sends a wave of disdain coursing throughout Marie body, making her stomach twist into knots.

Marie: What now?

She says with an obvious TONE.

Frankie: Start by taking the base out of your tone, Red….

Marie: No…you know what….I’m sick of it…SICK of being used by you.

Paradise plays the world’s smallest violin.

Marie: I didn’t come to this company….

Frankie: MY company.

Marie:….to just be your servant.

Frankie: Relax Red, I just need one more thing from you.

Marie: What part of NO, don’t you understand?

Frankie: Come on now, when a woman says ‘no,’ they really mean ‘yes.’

Marie: Are you republican or something?

Frankie: Your mission is simple tonight….

Marie: Yeah, winning the Rumble.

A long, drawn out chuckle from Paradise, who bends over holding his ribs.

Frankie: I didn’t know you were a regular Julia Louise Dryfus.

He wipes away a fake tear.

Frankie: Listen, Marie….my all-star signee is competing tonight and your mission, is making sure that THEY win the Rumble tonight.

Marie would gladly wipe away that tear right now by way of a back handed blow.

Frankie: I went through too much to get this Legend signed…so they NEED to win the Rumble so that the Board can see their investment pay off.

Marie: Sigh.

The exuberance displayed by Paradise is NOT matched by Jones, who is rubbing her temples with knuckles.

Marie: Listen Paradise….BOSS….you can take a long walk off a short cliff.

Immediately Paradise rips his sunglasses off to stare down HIS signee.

Marie: It was pretty bad having me bare false witness at NewAge just so you could help the Blacklist lure Orlando into that cage…plus, using me to deliver ‘secret’ messages to Orlando and Taylor, is JUST as ridiculous….BUT this…asking me to make sure your new signee wins the Rumble at the expense of my OWN World Title ambitions….it’s just….just ENOUGH.

If Marie had sunglasses she’d undoubtedly be tearing them off as well so her boss can get a clear unobstructed view of her eyes.

Marie: If you want to fire me…fire me….but I’m going out there tonight to win the Rumble…..so DEAL.

Marie heads to the ring, leaving Frankie behind with a twisted gleam of sheer malice in his expression.

Frankie: That ungrateful little….

Mika: Secret messages?

The spine of Paradise stiffens like a jack popping out of a box. He really hopes he’s suffering from an audial hallucination….turning tentatively to face Mika Kozlov, who was lingering in the shadows and listening.

Mika: Care to explain what she means honey bunny?

No…no he doesn’t.

“Haunted” is already playing through the speakers as the countdown clock reached zero several seconds ago and Marie Jones is finally stepping through the curtains and rushing down the ramp with steel pipe in hand.

Dollar: About time Marie Jones showed up here tonight.

Susie: Well, anticipation makes the payoff mean all that much more.

The moment Marie slides into the ring she ducks a shot from Buehler, who goes for…yet again….the KTFO….big surprise. Jones ducks the blow which sends Katelyn spinning around and falling against the ropes spine first….a bad position. Marie charges in and outstretches the bar between her hands, driving it into Katelyn’s throat, sending her up and over the ropes. She grabs the top cable just before she can go crashing to the mats though.

Marie then turns just as Blayze rushes into her with the Yakuza Kick that is ducked. The boot soars over her head and carries into the ropes. It flies over the top cable and she ends up crotching herself on the cable just as Marie leaps into the air and dropkicks her to the shoulder. She goes spilling over the ropes and to the apron, but somehow manages to grab the top rope on the way over.

Dollar: Marie ALMOST eliminating two of the biggest threats in this match within seconds of being in there.

Jackson then comes rushing towards Marie with the brass knuckles pulled back but she swings the steel pipe right into his fist. The steel bounces off of brass, and steel wins, causing Adams to roar in pain as he goes twisting into the ropes. Marie then rushes in and delivers another dropkick to Jackson’s sternum, sending him flipping up and over the cable to the apron.

He catches it while going over though and uses his undamaged fist to pull himself up to his feet.

Jackson: It’s gonna take more than that to get rid of me, bitch!

Adams begins to re-enter the ring, bending down to slip through the ropes when a figure leaps to the apron in front of him. Before Adams can react, his head is dragged under Rains seat, his arms are tucked to his sides and the masked End Effect member heaves Adams into the air. Jaws drop as Rain drags Adams off the apron and through the table at ringside with the package piledriver!

Dollar: Rain dropping Adams through the table…and it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Susie: That was extreme!

Dollar: No….it was justice.

Adams lies amongst the many fragmented and broken shards of table, body quivering as Rain bends down whispering into his ear.

Rain: Respect….respect…respect.

Rain slithers away from the motionless Adams.

Meanwhile, inside of the ring Legion is slowly climbing up Ladder, the fans shocked to see his huge frame ascending the rungs, getting higher and higher. At the same time Evans has happened to stagger along into the base of Ladder, using it to begin ascending above all the competition down below….plus he has bad ideas in store for Legion….seeking revenge against the No Holds Barred Champion.

Dollar: Uh-oh, Evans AND Legion going high risk AGAIN!

Susie: This ended disaserously the last time.

Legion begins to turn around so that his back is facing Ladder’s rungs and then finds his ankle grabbed hold of by Evans. Pat is trying his best to rip the legs out from under the masked NHB Champion, bound and determined to subject him to this submission. Down below the brawl rages on amidst almost the entire roster, no one aware what’s going on high above them.

10, 9, 8….

The annoyed Legion suddenly reaches down, grabs Evans by the hair and pulls his head up and under his seat. He then bends forward and wraps arms around Pat’s waist….the fans all starting to stand up while shaking their heads.

Dollar: No….oh God…..oh GAWDY GEE!

Susie: They aren’t about to….?

It takes quite a bit of balance for him to do it but Legion heaves Evans up and onto his shoulder. He then leaps right off Ladder into the Misery II, a single shoulder powerbomb into the chokeslam….a chokeslam that sends Pat crashing into all the brawlers down below.

Dollar: Holy Howie Mandel!

The crowd is on its feet unleashing a holy shit chant as a pile of bodies lie under the mangled Pat Evans and the sprawled out Legion. The only individuals who avoided the wrath of the NHB Champion are Mr. Gaunt, who is currently leaning propped against a corner, Ladder of course, Red Dalek, and SPIDER, who is busy fanning off the machine with a towel while giving it an inspirational speech.

Dollar: That….was….WOW!

Susie: Don’t think Pat’s gonna try to go after Legion again.

An instant replay showcases Legion heaving Evans up and chokeslamming him from the top of Ladder onto the bodies down below.

….3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!

”Rama Lama” plays and out rushes “The Weird One” Mr. Hush, who excitedly rushes down the ramp, slapping hands in the process. One hand he does not slap though, belongs to the huge brute standing in the front row…that huge brute being Viktor Drugov.

Dollar: Mr. Hush coming out to give the Black Crusade even greater numbers in the Rumble.

Susie: As if they didn’t already have a big enough advantage with Legion in there.

Dollar: And wait….who is….is that Countess Nevena’s bodyguard at ringside?

Yes….yes it is…and the huge figure is not just lurking at ringside, he’s leaping over the barricade, rushing towards Adams who is still sprawled amongst the chunks of shattered wood and then grabs a fragment of the table he went through. He picks it up and carries it to the barrier that Countess Nevena now stands on the opposite side of, holding open a briefcase that Viktor places the wood inside

The briefcase is closed and latched.

Inside of the ring Mr. Hush is already making his presence known on the individual who is rushing at Mr. Gaunt. Before Kingdom can get to Gaunt, he’s caught by the back of the head and driven down to the canvas with a double handed bulldog. The unorthodox Mr. Hush leaps to his feet and begins to pivot between them with arms outstretched to his sides. He then points at Mr. Gaunt, who is leaning against the ropes and supporting his servant.

Mr. Hush leaps into the air and comes down on his foot while the crowd chants ‘H.’ He then leaps again….’U’…..Another leap….’S’…..One more hop…..’HUH!?!’

Hush turns and nails Mr. Gaunt with a lariat to the throat, sending him flipping up and over the ropes to the outside of the ring.

Dollar: Mr. Hush…he just….he just….WHY!?!

Susie: Mr. Hush has eliminated Mr. Gaunt! But yeah….why?

Mr. Gaunt lands on his feet across the mats and then looks up with a predictably none too pleased expression.

Mr. Gaunt: Expla….

An explanation WON’T be necessary, cause the answer becomes clear before Mr. Gaunt can even finish the question. The mask of Mr. Hush begins to peel back just enough to bring the face of Jacob Laymon into view….His expressionless, haunting gaze glares down upon Mr. Gaunt emoting not an inkling of remorse for his actions.

Dollar: That’s NOT Mr. Hush….that’s former General Manager Jacob Laymon!

Susie: What a set-up!

Dollar: A set-up perpetrated by who else but the Prince of Sin?

Susie: Hey Johnny, I’m either hearing voices in my head, or someone telling me that something is going down backstage.

Dollar: Let’s get cameras back there pronto.

As requested cameras cut to the gorilla position where in the background Frankie Paradise is pleading with Mika Kozlov…while in the forefront Mr. Hush lies under a barrage of boots, subjected to shots from Executioner, Jaina Frost and a Silence mask wearing Jessica Wilde.

Susie: And the REAL Mr. Hush being beaten down backstage by Ba’al’s army.

Dollar: Yes….all the members of the IWC staff that he abducted and turned into these….these minions of the damned.

In spite of curling up into the pill-bug fetal position, the damage has already been inflicted on Mr. Hush, obviously left in no condition to compete in the Rumble at this point.

10, 9, 8….

Susie: Mr. Hush laid out by the Coalition backstage, which allowed Laymon to take his place…..Who knows what else is going to happen here in the Rumble as the battle-lines continue to be drawn.

Within the ring Laymon has pulled the Mr. Hush mask back down over his face and now gives Mr. Gaunt an up yours taunt from the center of the ring. All the while Johnny is being pulled along into the ropes by O’Brian, who is resolute in lifting up on Johnny’s legs and forcing him over the ropes. Harrison has hold of Marie Jones, and has her side wedged the cables, folding up her leg and lifting it high into the air, almost sending her into a cartwheel over the ropes.

Katelyn and Porno Lad have hold of Amanda, getting her over the ropes, but she hangs over to the opposite side, wrapping hands around the middle cable and kicking her legs to try and fend off her adversaries.

And Mr. Whitman…where is he during all of this….back in the turnbuckle wrapping his arms and legs around the post, securing himself to it in order to prevent any possibility of elimination.

Dollar: Whitman back to his normal self.

Susie Back to his cowardly ways.

Desolation has hold of Andre and is desperately trying to force him from the ring, but Jordan wedges his chest to the top turnbuckle pad. This doesn’t stop the Dark Man, who suddenly finds aid in an unlikely form. Hurse rushes up beside Desolation and assists in shoving Andre over the top rope to his elim….noooo…..the tag rope that customarily hangs from the turnbuckle is grabbed on the way down, Jordan holding onto it tight as he swings back and forth above the outside mats.

Dollar: Look at this..Andre is holding onto the top rope to prevent being eliminated!

Susie: He’s swashbuckling!

Neither Desolation nor Hurse are aware that Andre is still in there, both men backing up and turning to face each other. Just as they make eye contact Hurse grabs his Empire t-shirt, tears it away, throws it off and reveals the “Alpha Generation” shirt on beneath it.

Hurse: What do you say, Deso? How about we get the band back together for one night?

Desolation’s reaction to reunite his former stable with Hurse….a groan.

….3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!

Executioner now has his foot wedged to the throat of Mr. Hush, growling at the Black Crusade representative. This onslaught ends when out of nowhere ‘SILENCE’ rushes in, holding two batons tucked under her forearms. She swings one into Executioner’s knee, and the other over the shoulder of Jaina Frost. Silence then drives the baton into Jessica’s chin, sending her spiraling towards the curtains.

Al: SOUNDLY VIOLATE THOSE FOLLY-FALLEN FOOT-LICKERS!

Al materializes behind Silence, supporting her in her pursuit of vengeance against the Coalition. Once the mongrels have been backed off, Al stoops beside Mr. Hush, lending what little aid he can to his brother in arms.

The shameful attempts to bribe Desolation continue, with Hurse pointing out how he can make sure the Dark Man becomes a World Champion again and promises him match number 576 against Orlando Cruze. But the sweet talking ends on a rather sour-note. Desolation pulls Hurse forward and into a drop toe hold. He then stands up, swings around behind Hurse, grabs his wrists, pulls him up to his knees, wedges a foot between his shoulder blades and connects with the Curb Stomp.

Dollar: Looks like that allegiance didn’t work out for Hurse either.

The curb stomp leaves Hurse lying and finally shuts his mouth. Attention then shifts to the entry way where the curtains part and Executioner comes staggering through them, being subjected to shots from the clubs that Silence swings. She then spins around and DRILLS Executioner with a back heel kick, turning just in time to catch Jessica rushing from the backstage area. Silence bends down, catches the inbound knees of Silence and back drops her through the air. The masked Wilde flips over and crashes into Executioner’s chest, the two hitting the ramp and then rolling right down it.

Dollar: Looks like Silence is the next entrant in the Rumble….but before she can even reach the ring she has to fight off these Black Crusade dopplegangers.

Silence goes right after the two individuals she’s bludgeoned….swinging her clubs repeatedly at their bodies. Referee Alex Ingelson finds himself distracted, watching as Amanda lies on the apron desperately clutching the bottom rope seeing as she was pushed over the top one. Porno Lad and Katelyn are kicking away at her, trying to eliminate her.

On the opposite side of the ring TPKid’s hatred for Harrison, saves Marie Jones. He and Harrison are trading blows before they go a step further. Aaron picks up the kendo-stick and TPKid picks up the baseball bat. Aaron connects with a shot on Kid and Kid connects with a shot on Aaron. Both men now begin to swing their weapons wildly and repeatedly into one another’s bodies, eliciting a loud ‘holy shit’ chant from the crowd.

Dollar: Harrison and Kid beating the absolute holy hell out of one another.

The fans are going nuts at the sight of Aaron and TPKid taking years off of one another’s lives while at ringside, Silence is looking to end both Executioner’s and Wilde’s. She lifts one of her weapons above her head only to suddenly get clocked over the back of her skull with a gavel swung by Jaina Frost.

The blow connects with such resounding force that it knocks Silence instantly out cold and to the mats.

Just then, inside of the ring Laymon finds himself backing up into the excessively huge sternum of Legion. Even though his face cannot be seen through the Mr. Hush mask, it’s obvious that terror has taken hold, his body stricken with paralysis. He slowly reaches up and feels around the face of Legion, refusing to turn around until he’s confirmed that it’s the Crusader who’s breath beats down the back of his neck.

Slowly Laymon turns and then instantly back peddles away from Legion, yet fails to get very far. The Champion takes hold of Jacob’s suit jacket, pulls him forward, heaves him up onto his palms and then throws him not only over the top rope but onto the bodies of both Executioner and Jaina Frost.

Dollar: Legion throwing out the trash!

Susie: But he didn’t get all the birds with one stone.

The statement is quite accurate for once….as Jessica has managed to slide into the ring undetected by Legion, but not by the referee. Silence crawls along towards the ring, beginning to drag herself up onto the apron just as Jessica grabs the referee by his jersey, spinning Ingelson around so that she has his full undivided attention. Wilde….still wearing the Silence mask and garb, rushes to the ropes, leaps over them and then drops to the mats, eliminating herself.

Dollar: Poor Jessica Wilde….she never had anything to do with all this Black Crusade, Coalition brouhaha until she was dragged into the middle of it….And now look at how twisted she’s become.

Susie: And look at how she’s throwing herself over the top rope.

After Jessica eliminates herself, Ingelson goes back to dealing with Romeo, who is currently trying to force Alana over the cables, but it isn’t happening.

10, 9, 8, 7….

Silence overcomes the shot from the gavel in order to roll into the ring and stagger up behind Kingdom, trying to push him over the cables and to the outside but the moment she puts her hands on the Team Leader, Alex Ingelson interferes.

Ingelson: What are you doing? You just eliminated yourself! Get out of here!

Silence’s eyes widen, looking more confused than ever.

Dollar: Oh….oh how brilliant. Jessica Wilde….dressed as Silence…eliminated herself from the Rumble right in front of the official so that Ingelson would think it WAS the Black Crusade member who voluntarily exited the match.

Susie: This is so confusing that I just went cross eyed.

The crowd bemoans the fact that the Coalition has just found ANOTHER way to eliminate a member of the Black Crusade.

Dollar: The Coalition has managed to manipulate their way into eliminating three of the four members of the Black Crusade participating in this match….unbelievable.

Susie: Legion now stands alone.

Silence protests but ultimately is overruled, which prompts her to turn, rush across the ring and dive through the ropes right into Jessica Wilde and Executioner standing outside of the ring. She crashes into them at the exact same time that Mr. Hush comes staggering down the ramp with bags of popcorn in his hands….his weapon of choice for the evening. He swings them with little effect into the body of Jaina, annoying rather injuring her. The popcorn bags fall to the mats as Hush then employs chops to wear Frost down. Silence now has both Executioner and Jessica reeling as all five individuals battle up the ramp and towards the backstage area.

…3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!

”Pop Goes the Weasel” elicits a none too favorable response from the crowd as Mika Kozlov comes skipping through the curtains and stops dead on the stage. Her eyes cut towards Taylor, who is standing up on the stage and just begging her ‘former’ sister to get froggy and jump. But Kozlov instead points to the kendo-stick hanging from her hand.

Mika: Next week, Malishka, next week.

Kozlov rubs at her jaw and now rushes down the ramp and towards the ring.

Susie: As if this match wasn’t violent enough already, now here comes Mika, and she’s bringing along the cane.

Dollar: And she’s made no bones about it, she wants Taylor next week, AND at Invictus for the World Title. Can she win the Rumble and then move on to do something the rest of the Blacklist has been incapable of thus far by defeating Taylor?

Some space might be made in the ring considering that Romeo has Alana forced over the ropes doing a headstand on the apron. He then backs up and rushes across the canvas before diving into a shoulder block to her ribs. The blow connects but Alana manages to grab the middle rope and hang with feet kicking above the mats.

Meanwhile Johnny is back in peril, having O’Brian positioned under one leg and a beyond tired Andre under the other. Kingdom swings fists into the top of both men’s heads, trying to fight them off. Harrison is also in peril, finding himself straddling the top rope and wrapping his arms and his legs around them while TPKid drills him repeatedly with the baseball bat. Mika puts an end to that, nailing Kid between the kidneys with the Singapore cane and sending him spiraling back towards the center of the ring.

And Buehler….poor determined Buehler finds herself gripping the top rope with her only good hand….the rest of her body hanging over the mats on the verge of elimination. Jones has put her in this position and is now punching at the hand of Buehler wrapped around the top rope before trying to pry her fingers apart. It’s just then that Hurse rushes up behind Jones and nails her with a double axehandle to the back of her head. He then grabs Marie, spins her around and goes rushing at the ropes, stepping up them and flipping back into a modification of More Than Meets the Eye.

The Sliced Bread connects on Marie and drives the back of her head down onto the very steel bar she brought into this match.

Hurse then rolls across the canvas, reaches through the ropes and grabs Katelyn’s wrist, dragging her back into the ring.

Dollar: Hurse continuing to try and earn favor with ANYONE In this match.

Susie: Yep, but for weeks it’s been Katelyn he’s been trying to win over, which he might just do it he helps her win this Rumble tonight.

Dollar: She’s gonna need a lot of it….she’s been in this Rumble with a broken hand for over 40 minutes now.

Buehler normally would shove Hurse aside, but instead she looks up into his eye with a particular affinity. It’s then that Hurse bends down and speaks into Buehler’s ear.

Hurse: You don’t have to do this alone, Kate….you have friends….you have me.

For the first time in ages Katelyn is actually susceptible to Hurse’s guidance. She looks up and reveres rather than disdains the man standing stooped before her. It’s just then that Porno Lad rushes in behind Hurse, takes him by the back of the head and tights, then throws him over the ropes to the floor.

Dollar: Hurse eliminated by his former best friend!

Susie: And just when he was starting to talk some sense into Buehler.

A smile forms on the blood splattered face of Porno Lad as it turns to a recovering Katelyn.

Porno Lad: You’re welcome, Dear.

Katelyn bites her lower lip, wanting to say something, but can’t when Legion swoops in behind Lad, catches him by the back of the head and the pants, charges him at the ropes and throws him over. But unlike Hurse, Lad manages to grab the top rope and holds on….somehow preventing elimination.

Legion backs up and glares down at Buehler before pointing towards Porno Lad and swiping his arms through the air, indicating that she doesn’t need him. Katelyn lowers her head, finding it difficult to argue against this….or for this…logic.

Just then Aaron and Mika rush up behind Legion and slam kendo-sticks simultaneously over his back, which sends the NHB Champion staggering into the ropes then spilling over them to the apron…ALMOST going to the floor.

Dollar: Would you stop distracting people already Katelyn?

Legion slowly starts to get to his knees when Porno Lad swoops in only to be grabbed by the throat.

Dollar: Legion is going to chokeslam Lad off the apron….he’s gonna eliminate him. There is a GOD!

A desperate, horrified Lad cries out to Katelyn.

Porno Lad: Save me Kate…SAVE ME!

Buehler instantly leaps to her feet and takes a step forward to aid Lad but then stops…stops cold. All she does now is watch…watch as Porno Lad is choked by Legion. Suddenly his thumb finds its way through the slit of Legion’s mask right into his eyeball, gouging it.

Legion’s grip on Porno Lad’s throat is broken in favor of grabbing at his scraped retina. At the same time Lad is backing up and reaching into his waist-band, removing a bottle of Ketamine.

Porno Lad: Fine!

His words are directed to a conflicted, pained….emotionally and physically…Buehler.

Porno Lad: I don’t need the help from a pathetic whore anyways…I’m going to Invictus…and I will have MY moment you slut!

Katelyn’s actions become quite clear, raising her eyes to watch as Porno Lad steps towards Legion with a hand full of narcotics, about to find a way to force them down the masked man’s throat. That’s when Buehler swings around and delivers the KTFO, blasting Lad right in the jaw and knocking him to the outside mats.

Dollar: Buehler had ENOUGH…

Susie: She did it…she finally did it.

Dollar: Yes….YES…she eliminated Porno Lad….Good God almighty Porno Lad is at last out of there.

10, 9, 8….

Once he regains consciousness Lad gets to his knees at ringside, trembling from head to toe, his face turning from white to the darkest shade of red imaginable.

Porno Lad: YOOOOOOU BIIIITCH!

Lad stands up and is absolutely flipping out at ringside, he grabs a fan and pulls them over the barricade, tossing them onto the floor. He then grabs the chair they were seated on and throws it into the ring.

Dollar: Security needs to get out here and get this prima donna under control. Yeah, you were eliminated Porno Lad, deal with it.

Susie: Can’t believe he just put his hands on a fan.

An infuriated Lad steps to the ring and slaps the apron with his palms.

Porno Lad: I should be going to Invictus….me….me….ME!

…4, 3….

Katelyn backs to the center of the ring burning a hole into Porno Lad with her eyes.

Kordy: You BITCH!

Price rushes in behind Katelyn, who side steps the inbound arm of Porno Lad’s pupil, takes the back of her head and throws her over the top rope. She comes crashing down right on top of Lad, the two crashing across the mats.

Dollar: And there goes Price for equal measure. Party time, celebrate.

Lad and Price are in a state of sheer shock as they look up towards Buehler shouting down at them from the ring.

Buehler: No, Ethan…this is MY year…this is MY perfect Invictus. And not you….or anyone is standing in my way.

A furious Porno Lad stares through his blood soaked face into Katelyn’s resolute and determined expression.

…2, 1….BUUUUZZ!

The arena lights cut completely and an eerie glow emanates from the screens as the speakers burst into life with a creepy sounding version of a child’s nursery rhyme, sending shivers down the spines of those in attendance and probably those at home too.

“Ring… around… the ro…sie…
Pocket… full… of po… sies
Ash-es… Ash-es…
We all… fall… down…”

What was just said about no one standing between Buehler and Invictus?

Instead of showing fear like any normal individual would when about to encounter Ba’al…Katelyn actually relishes at the opportunity, turning with palms wedged to her knees, and stooping forward in anticipation of putting her cast to the face of the man responsible for her being forced to wear it.

Dollar: And here we go….Ba’al about to enter the Rumble….and about to come face to face with Katelyn Buehler.

Susie: These two have had so many run-ins the past few weeks, it’s only fitting they would cross paths here in the Rumble…right now.

Katelyn can’t wait, positively salivating at the prospect of getting her grips on the Price of Sin, yet he has not made his entrance….opting to make Buehler wait. Things then become a bit cloudier when Frankie Paradise steps through the curtains to the stage, looking up to the Carel-tron flashing with images of Ba’al’s destruction. Frankie looks incredibly vexed by what he’s seeing and hearing. But someone who is no longer confused is Buehler, prompting her to spin around and avoid the shot from a gavel being swung by Rachel Foxx.

Dollar: This was a set-up! Ba’al’s intro was just a set-up!

Susie: He tried to distract Katelyn so Rachel could get the drop on her.

Dollar: But Buehler saw it coming this time.

Forearm after forearm drills Rachel to the jaw, causing her to drop the gavel. Buehler then reaches down to pick it up, which results in Fox dropping to the canvas and rolling to the outside in order to escape Katelyn’s wrath. As this scene plays out, a confused Frankie lifts a microphone to his lips and watches from the stage.

Frankie: Allllriiiight, I have no idea what all that sordid ballyhoo was about….byyyyuuuut, I do know what’s coming next. Cause I think I’ve finally got it right….confetti….

From the scaffolding descends mass confetti, making visibility incredibly limited.

Frankie: Much pyrotechnics.

Explosions rock the Amyway Center, golden pyros showering down upon Paradise and those brawling within the ring.

Frankie: And cheerleaders….yes, the glorious Frankie Paradise has even managed to secure a legion of scantily clad cheerleaders on short notice.

Through the curtains rushes a group of MALE cheerleaders, all hopping around rather excitedly, but Paradise is anything but enthused. He cringes as they shake their pom-poms and use their giant megaphone to try and hype up the crowd.

Frankie: Oh lord, there must have been some type of miscommunication….oh well….we’ll make lemons out of lemonade. Anyway, all bases are covered and the appointed hour is now. Time for the introduction that trumps all other introductions, an introduction given by the almighty Paradise.

Frankie straightens up and bulks out his chest, speaking from the diaphragm.

Frankie: Underage girls and gents, I…the monument of a man, Frankie Paradise, brings to you, the newest edition to the IWC roster…a TRUE Icon who needs no such hyped introduction as he is seeing….he is a former World Champion…a master of the universe…a legend that transcends both time and sp….

The long winded introduction is abruptly cut short by a song that elicits much unrest….

“Alpha King” by Rev Theory leads to imploding lungs…..shorted out pace-makers….and heart rates accelerated to near stroke levels. Without any further anticipation, Lucas Knight steps through the curtains.

Dollar: Feel those goosebumps…feel this moment!

Susie: Lu…Lu…Lu…

Another slap to the back of the head causes Moore to stop stuttering.

Dollar: LUCAS KNIGHT! He’s in the Rumble…he’s in the IWC Rumble!!

Susie: He’s the one that Frankie signed? HE’S the huge free agent Frankie’s been alluding to?

Dollar: This is BEYOND huge.

With cricket bat in hand Lucas stops beside Frankie and gives a shake of his head. Paradise is unaware of the condescending gleam, repeatedly pointing and gesturing to Knight.

Dollar: This is an AMAZING scene ladies and gentlemen…Lucas Knight returns…

Susie: EPIC!

Dollar: Very true….VEERRRY true.

The crowd is still swet up into an absolute tidal wave of emotion as the shock washes over all. Paradise is perhaps more energetic than anyone, turning to at last acknowledge the frown on Knight’s face.

Knight: I believe I asked for Malcolm McDowell to handle my introductions.

Frankie: I couldn’t retain his services on such short notice.

Lucas turns and prepares to leave before Frankie desperately clutches at his arm. An offended Knight stares down at the hand clutching his wrist then pulls away.

Knight: FINE….but that’s another strike against you.

After an incredible amount of hype Lucas embarks down the ramp and towards the ring.

Dollar: And Lucas is finally about to compete, inconceivably in the middle of the ring.

The war wages on amongst the vast majority of the IWC roster. Alana yet again finds herself verging on an elimination as Desolation stoops under her, legs draped over shoulders.

SPIDER is currently rubbing the rungs of Ladder to work out any kinks and get it properly set for battle against the stationary Red Dalek.

Andre has Marie loaded up on his shoulders, backing her towards the ropes on the verge of throwing her over. But he doesn’t get to the cables before O’Brian steps in swinging the top edge of a chair right into Jordan’s ribs, doubling him over.

Another of IWC’s sordid legends, Johnny has finally been forced over the ropes thanks to the combined efforts of TPKid and Evans.

Dire straits are suffered by many, Legion included. He has crawled back into the ring on his knees and now finds himself subjected to a barrage of kendo-sticks. Harrison nails him in the top of the head with the staff, then Mika delivers a blow on the N.H.B Champion, then Aaron, then Mika, then Aaron, then Mika….the two absolutely obliterating the Black Crusade member.

Dollar: Blacklist targeting Legion the same way that they targeted Orlando Cruze several months ago.

Susie: Just no open graves in the area luckily.

And Katelyn is in the process of trying to eliminate yet another target….that target being Damascus. Blayze also pitches in, aiding Buehler in her attempt to eliminate Romeo.

Dollar: How many people has Katelyn eliminated here tonight.

Susie: A LOT….And that’s the closest to an actual number you’ll get from me.

Knight takes advantage of all his opponents being wrapped up in their own affairs. He slides into the ring, rushes straight towards Evans and places the cricket bat across his throat, dragging him back. The life is being strangled right out of Pat’s body. Knight then heaves Evans into the air and flings him across the ring by the throat. Evans collapses to his back and then Lucas turns just as TPKid comes in swinging with the baseball bat. But Knight gets the cricket bat up in defense, blocking the blow. He then subjects Kid to a gruesome shot over the head with his OWN bat….of the cricket variety.

Dollar: Bat to bat.

Susie: And it’s the cricket bat that wins out.

Marie lands on her feet beside O’Brian and the two throw repeated blows into the face of Andre. Mark then heaves the chair into the air just as Marie steps around behind Andre, pinning his arms behind his back. The steel comes crashing down right over top of Jordan’s skull.

Andre stumbles, staggers and finds himself now on the brink of elimination. Marie keeps the arms hooked and now drags him backwards into the ropes. She steps out of the way just as Mark rushes in and swings the chair once again at Andre’s cranium, splitting it with a shot. The blow sends Jordan spiraling into the ropes and then spilling over them. He holds onto the top cable with both hands though.

10, 9, 8, 7….

One of those hands is broken away from the cable though thanks to a shot from the chair in Mark’s hand. His grip is released….with ONE hand, the other still griping the rope for everything that he is worth.

Dollar: Jordan on the brink….he’s been in there since number two….

Susie: How much longer can he hang in there?

Dollar: Literally at this point.

The chair pulls back again, O’Brian about to bring it down over the knuckles of Andre, the one set of knuckles still clinging to the ropes. That DOESN’T happen, thanks to the intervention of Knight. He grabs the shoulder of Mark and spins him around just as O’Brian gets the chair up and into position. Just then the cricket bat is swung right into the steel, smashing chair against face and knocking Mark back into the ropes.

Marie balls up her fist and prepares to swing it into the jaw of Knight only to hear a screech from the exterior of the ring.

Frankie: Don’t you DARE!

A screeching Paradise remains at ringside, making sure his investment pays off. A disgruntled Marie pulls back her fist and then leaps into the air, connecting with a spinning back heel kick to the chair in front of Mark’s face, sending him flipping up and over the cables before ultimately spilling across the mats.

Dollar: Marie Jones wanted to go after Knight, but instead she eliminated Mark O’Brian.

Susie That’s what you get for helping Marie….Mark.

Dollar: He’s obviously not the brightest bulb in fixture.

Mark collects himself on the mats, holding his knotted forehead.

…2, 1…BUUUUZZZ!!

The arena lights cut completely and an eerie glow emanates from the screens as the speakers burst into life with a creepy sounding version of a child’s nursery rhyme, sending shivers down the spines of those in attendance and probably those at home too.

“Ring… around… the ro…sie…
Pocket… full… of po… sies
Ash-es… Ash-es…
We all… fall… down…”

Dollar: Ba’al finally about to enter the Rumble at a very advantageous point.

All eyes shift to the entry way in anticipation of Ba’al’s arrival, including Katelyn, who steps away from what she was doing to prepare for the arrival of the macabre and maniacal Prince of Sin.

STATIC

Ba’al: Bravo….bravo….

The Cartel-tron flashes to life with images straight from the den of depravity, the burrow of barbarity….got to love alliteration…and focuses entirely on the man who has cast the spotlight of morality upon the roster.

Ba’al: What a ‘gutsy’ performance young Buehler….and if I were inclined to wear hats, I would tip one in your direction, Legion….Oh yes, and Mr. Whitman….

Clarence looks up from the turnbuckle he’s wrapped around, looking horrified at the mention of his name.

Ba’al: ….kudos to you for managing to somehow go without being eliminated faster than the Warlord. Yes, much respect is deserved by all who have been bludgeoning and brutalizing one another in this demented display.

Suddenly Ba’al scoffs at the notion and gives a judgmental shaking of his head.

Ba’al: I’m sorry, but no….no you are NOT deserving of any special recognition…not a single one of you. For tonight you battle to satiate your greed and avarice. Look at what violent lengths you’re rapacity has driven you to….Did you not behold the blood on the face of that pernicious Lad? Do you not see the hematomas forming on the flesh of Alana Starr, or the puss oozing wounds that liter the physique of Andre Jordan?

A groan followed by a grimace.

Ba’al: You are all maiming and massacring one another in pursuit of what….a Championship? An opportunity to stand beneath the spotlight at this overhyped spectacle known as Invictus? Oh how misguided….oh how deluded.

The Prince of Sin protrudes his lower lip and makes puppy dog eyes.

Ba’al: But I do not share in this fallacy. The Prince of Sin chooses to abstain from participation in this embodiment of sin….

Katelyn doesn’t want to watch, and she damn sure doesn’t want to listen as Ba’al continues to verbally berate her participation in this bout. Legion, in spite of being bludgeoned with so many shots from the cane, steps forth and drives his fists into the faces of Harrison and Mika, driving them back. And although his attention should be on victimizing the Blacklist, they are instead focused on the ramblings of Ba’al. As have all sets of eyes, including SPIDER, who has climbed to the mid-way point of Ladder, and now watches after trying to squeeze a water bottle between its rungs to make sure its well hydrated.

Ba’al: My intentions have been well documented since the day I set foot in…..

Suddenly SPIDER finds himself being led away from Ladder, charged across the ring mounted upon the shoulders of Ba’al and then being thrown via a running powerbomb into the turnbuckle.

Dollar: it’s a set-up!

Susie: How is Ba’al in two places at once? If they touch will they turn into a Ron Silver-esque goo pile?

Dollar: That footage obviously pre-recorded, but I don’t think anyone has taken notice.

Susie: I think SPIDER has.

The powerbomb upon the corner leaves SPIDER aching, or at least it would if he hadn’t indulged in some pre-match narcotics.

Ba’al: Has no one learned? Title ambitions, increased pay-grades, and spotlight mongering are not what compel me. It is a pursuit….a pursuit for righteousness….

Dollar: And Ba’al continues to play off his distraction.

Ba’al: There are no righteous souls who remain on this roster. This federation is truly a bastion of impropriety….

With Ladder loaded on his shoulder, Ba’al now rushes up behind Legion and cracks him in the back of the skull, the blow knocking him up and OVER the cables, yet somehow the N.H.B Champ manages to hold onto the top rope.

Katelyn suddenly realizes what’s happening….but it’s too late for her to do anything about it, she gets caught around the neck and driven into the canvas via the Totalis. Ba’al then rushes to his feet and before Lucas has an opportunity to catch wind of what’s going on, he gets dumped on the back of his skull via the Totalis as well.

Ba’al You all….each of you….you lack vision…you lack principles….

Dollar: Ba’al set this into motion PERFECTLY! And now he’s taking out ALL of the biggest threats in this match.

Ba’al slides his hands into his pocket, grabbing a gavel. He rushes up behind Desolation and cracks him over the skull with it. Just as Kingdom turns around he finds his jaw smashed with the gavel that sends him spiraling through the ropes and to the apron. TPKid soon finds himself victimized as well, given a fatal strike from the gavel right on the temple, a concussing blow. And Andre, in spite of his multiple injuries, manages to crawl back into the ring where he’s struck several times with the gavel.

Ba’al: You have failed this federation…you have failed this industry….and now that the judgment has been rendered….

10, 9, 8, 7….

Marie who had her hands preoccupied with Amanda, is spun around and drilled in the face with the gavel. Blayze then steps out of the corner and has the gavel swung into her ribs as well, and the weapon ends up coming down across the back of her cranium as well for equal measure.

Ba’al:…the convicted shall be mercilessly prosecuted….

The footage cuts as Ba’al steps to the center of the ring with EVERYONE laid out beneath him. He tosses the gavel into the air, flipping it over and catching it in his palm.

Ba’al: All in a hard day’s work.

Eyes are cast over the pile of bodies strewn across the canvas. The purveyor of justice has managed to thwart the ambitions of many….save for two….Mika Kozlov and Aaron Harrison, canes in hand step up behind the Prince of Sin. Ba’al doesn’t even turn to acknowledge them.

Ba’al: Go….play.

That same sneer returns to Aaron’s face as he rushes up behind a crawling Alana and cracks her over the back with a cane. Mika then rushes across the ring and kicks the crawling Buehler as hard as she can to the ribcage. Another swift blow is delivered by Harrison, this time to the spinal column of Blayze.

Dollar: And now the Blacklist is feasting upon the carrion.

Susie: I hope it tastes better than it sounds.

Ba’al sits Indian style in the middle of the ring as Harrison and Kozlov continue to deliver blows to absolutely anything they see squirming.

…3, 2….

Dollar: Ba’al has managed to lay out everyone in the Rumble while they were watching that footage on the screen….Except for our final entrant.

Susie: Good lord, you mean to tell me we’ve finally…FINALLY come to the end of this madness!?!

Dollar: Yes….and God what an exhausting effort this has been.

….1….BUUUUZZZ!

Susie: I feel such pity for whomever is about to step into this Rumble to battle THESE odds.

Dollar: The Blacklist and Ba’al waiting on the arrival of our final entrant…who was scheduled to be Brittany Lohan…but for some reason, known only to Lohan, she isn’t here tonight.

Susie: So who is it going to be? Who….who…..WHO!?!

The anticipation builds, and builds, and builds, Frankie Paradise, still at ringside watches…Taylor Chase watches….and every eye in attendance is fixed upon the entrance tunnel….just as “BLACK ROSE” filters through the speakers and those watching eyes almost pop from skulls at the sight of Rose Savior. The first World Champion in IWC’s rebirth emerges to the stage and gets a reaction that bursts ear drums and shakes the walls of the Amway Center.

Dollar: WHAT….THE….FUCK!?!

Susie: R….R….Ros….

Another swift slap to the back of the head.

Susie: Rose Savior….it’s…it’s Rose SAVIOR!

Dollar: We haven’t seen her in weeks, not since she and Christian left the IWC after Upping the Ante.

There is a methodical gait to Rose’s step, slowly descending down the ramp and briefly turning eyes to Taylor Chase. The Scarlet Socialite glares right back at the Queen of Thorns.

Dollar So much history between these two…Rose Savior AND Taylor Chase.

Susie: It was Taylor who defeated Rose for the title….And it was the Blacklist presently in the ring who were instrumental in the title changing hands.

The tension in the air is undeniably thick…as will be the blood that gushes from the faces of the Blacklist once Rose is through with them. Even with her eyes still on Taylor, Rose rushes down the ramp, slides into the ring and instantly stands stiff as a board as she comes face to face with the trio in the ring. Ba’al remains seated, tilting his head and watching Rose glare back at the Blacklist standing over his shoulders. Harrison and Mika wave towards Rose, and then the New Breed comes out swinging.

The cane in his hands almost connects with Rose’s head before she ducks down into a forward roll and then leaps right out of it into an unexpected spear to Mika’s ribcage. Kozlov is taken down hard and Rose is kipping back to her feet…just in time to avoid another shot from the cane. The attempted blow sends Harrison spinning completely around to face Rose’s back only to find himself caught around the neck and hit with the Black Rose.

The diamond cutter sends Aaron flipping over to his spine while a vengeful Rose races to her feet. Ba’al finally is compelled to act, rushing in with an attempt to slam the gavel against Savior’s face, but this time she bends back into a near matrix style pose.

Ba’al’s momentum causes him to spin completely around just as Rose stands up straight, catches the Prince of Sin around the neck and goes for the cutter. But Ba’al shoves her off, sending her spiraling to the center of the ring.

Rose then looks to close the gap between them, charging towards her adversary….

Just as she is about to take out the Coalition once and for all, Ba’al manages to leap frog her. Savior races under him as Ba’al comes down on his feet just in time to be cracked in the face with the KTFO.

Buehler nails every bit of the roaring elbow that rattles Ba’al’s brain and sends him twisting around into the Black Rose by Savior.

Dollar: Roaring elbow followed by the cutter!

Susie: Retribution against Ba’al achieved.

The fans are at an absolute fevered pitch at this point as Rose stands up and finds herself staring right into Katelyn’s fatigued features. Instead of two of Taylor’s most ardent adversaries coming to blows, they turn just in time to thwart being felled by Alana and Andre.

Dollar: No more entrants in the Rumble tonight….meaning one of the many…MANY individuals in the ring will be going to the main event at Invictus.

Susie: Hope its Ladder…imagine how awesome it would be for Ladder to win the Rumble. Taylor Chase versus Ladder, it just reeks of appeal.

Frankie watches wide eyed as Rose continues to jack the jaw of Starr with right hands. Andre manages to get the best of Buehler though, launching a knee right into her ribcage and then spinning around into a back elbow on her cheek.

A fight between Amanda and Marie knocks Jones back into Red Dalek, almost tipping it over. That’s when SPIDER rushes in, trying to saves….Jones.

SPIDER: BACK away from him….you do NOT want to tangle with this thing. He’s very tempermental.

TPKid works his way back up, shaking off the effects of the gavel shots and finding his way back to the baseball bat. It works its way into his clutches, and now all that is left to do is to find a victim. Instead he’s the one about to be victimized though as Gavin Taylor slides into the ring behind him and grabs Kid’s tag team title belt OFF of the canvas.

Dollar: Gavin coming back out here to steal the Tag Title belt that TPKid stole from Porno Lad first.

Susie: If one more title belt gets stolen around here I swear I’m gonna vomit.

Gavin has got what he’s come for….standing up with the title belt drawn in close to his bosom, swinging from side to side with it wedged to his heart. His eyes then cut to the back of TPKid’s head, presenting him with an opportunity he cannot pass up.

The gold extends between his palms as Taylor looks to rehash past traumas, rushing in behind Kid and swinging the belt directly at his skull in the same manner he bludgeoned the trailer park denizen at the End of the Year Special.

The belt looks to bash in Kid’s skull…which is kind of hard to manage when your adversary is ducking out of the way. The gold swings over Kid’s head and the botched attempt sends Gavin staggering right into the waiting shoulder of Jordan. Andre scoops him up, turns and slams him down via the sit-out spinebuster.

Dollar: Taylor tried to take out TPKid AGAIN, just like he did at the End of the Year Special, but it was scouted this time.

A smirk forms on Andre’s face as he watches Gavin squirm out of the ring writhing in agony. That smirk is mirrored by TPKid, who can’t help but to rub salt in the wounds. He leans over the ropes shouting at Gavin just as Andre looks down and spots the Tag Team strap lying on the canvas. He then picks up the title and rushes across the ring, slamming it into the back of Kid’s head and sending him flipping up and over the cables. He drops down on the apron, somehow catching the top rope and using it to pull himself up.

He just begins to shake off the shot with the gold when Gavin grabs him by the ankle and drags him down off the apron to the outside mats.

Dollar: Dammit..Gavin has managed to do it again…he just caused TPKid to be eliminated.

Susie: Just like at the End of the Year Special, TPKid eliminates Gavin, but Taylor comes right back to make sure TPKid gets eliminated as well.

Mere moments after hitting the mats, TPKid is on his feet and swinging, fists basting the skull of Gavin, who returns with shots of his own.

Inside of the ring the action is just as stellar.

Marie cracks SPIDER’S jaw with several forearms, taking offense to him so much as putting a finger on her. He falls back against the ropes and now Jones comes rushing in with a big lariat that is ducked….thanks in large part to a metallic hook extending from Red Dalek, wrapping around SPIDER’S ankle and pulling his feet out from under him.

As a result SPIDER collapses to his back and continues to pull down on the ropes, causing Jones to go tumbling right over them to the outside…APRON. Somehow Marie manages to grab the top rope and prevent her collapse to the exterior of the ring. SPIDER then works his way up to his feet just as Amanda comes charging in with the spear aimed at his ribs.

Suddenly a bar extends from the side of Red Dalek, wedging to SPIDER’S hip with enough force to shove him out of the way. As a result Amanda goes flying past her intended victim and then through the ropes, twisting as she comes down on the mats.

The spear might have missed but Amanda isn’t about to let this derail her momentum. She thinks on her feet, improvising by rushing in underneath of a now standing Marie, reaching up, taking her around the waist and setting up for a powerbomb off the apron that would put her down on the mats. But Jones is holding strong to the top rope, wrapping her arms around it as tightly as she possibly can.

Dollar: Amanda so close….so close to putting Marie out of this Rumble.

Susie: Both of these ladies have held tough for a long time….but exhaustion takes its toll eventually.

Marie is fading but her World Title ambitions triumph over her exhaustion. She lifts her fist and begins to drive it down repeatedly into Amanda’s face, over and over again. Then she manages to slap the hands away from her hips, take Blayze’s wrist, and put a foot to her chest. The wrists are yanked, lifting up on Amanda enough so that she can be driven back down into the apron with a version of the inverted curb stomp.

She then spots SPIDER in the ring, prompting her to leap into the air, still holding the top rope while twisting her body and landing on his shoulders. She lets go of the ropes, twists down to the canvas and sends SPIDER flying through the ropes via a head scissors. He twists into an unintentional crossbody across the chest of Blayze, putting the two down to the mats.

Rose and Alana are still trading shots until Starr manages to get hold of Savior’s wrist, whipping her into the ropes. Savior ricochets off the cables and comes back into a big spear that Starr somehow side-steps, pushing her along right into the waiting hand of Legion. The behemoth catches her around the cranium and begins to squeeze with the Five Finger Crawl. Ba’al then rushes in swinging the gavel at his skull only to have Legion reach out and slap a hand around his throat. He is strangling the life out of the Price of Sin’s body, the gavel dropping it out of his palm.

The weapon is quickly picked up, finding its way into Starr’s clutches. She then picks up something else…where Ba’al left off. She rushes into a devastating big boot to the face that puts her on her back. Legion then wedges a foot to the throat of Starr, putting his body weight on top of her neck.

Dollar: Look at this. Legion has got THREE submission holds locked in simultaneously.

Susie: Not that submission count….but this is no the less awesome.

SPIDER Is back in the match with towel in hand, swinging it towards Ladder, trying to fan it off. In the process Pat sneaks in behind him, hooks his arm and heaves him up as the crowd goes nuts in anticipation of the Spinal Tap. But somehow SPIDER manages to swing around the recovered Evans, landing on his feet behind him just as Kingdom swoops in and takes him about the waist, snapping back into the German suplex.

To the surprise of everyone, SPIDER manages to flip over backwards, landing on his feet instead of the back of his neck. He swings his arms to remain upright just as Desolation swoops in towards the now laid out Kingdom, catches him around the legs, wraps them around his own, turns him to his stomach and then pulls up on his wrists, delivering the curb stomp.

All the while SPIDER is staggering back into the arms of Marie, who steps in and catches him by the wrist. She nails him with a knee to the ribs, doubles him over, puts a leg across the back of his neck and sets up for the Vindicator. She pushes forward into the move only to have SPIDER shockingly twist out of it and cause Jones to stagger into the waiting arms of Desolation. The Dark Man scoops her up and then drops her down via a Michinoku Driver right across the ribcage of a laid out Kingdom.

SPIDER then staggers backwards and falls into the waiting arms of Romeo. Damascus spins him around and then leaps into the air, going for a version of the downward spiral that Simon Cagero made famous. Only he’s shoved off at the last second and sent twisting in mid-air into the waiting shoulder of Desolation, who catches him, twists him and drives him down to the canvas via the spinebuster.

SPIDER looks proud of himself that he’s managed to be largely untouchable thus far before he steps back and finds himself tripped by Ladder. He then twists into the ropes, falls against them and almost goes over.

Evans helps out, by rushing across the ring, grabbing the shins of SPIDER and pushing him the rest of the way over. SPIDER collapses to the mats amidst squeals from the audience.

Susie: SPIDER….no….Ladder betrayed him.

Dollar: Are you HIGH? All SPIDER did was trip over the blasted Ladder, then Evans swooped in and helped eliminate him.

Susie: Don’t undersell the magnitude of Ladder’s betrayal.

The Dark Man struggles to his feet just as Aaron steps in and cracks him directly in the skull with the kindo-stick. The shot knocks Desolation across the ring, but he catches himself just before he can go down to the ring. The New Breed rushes in behind him to deliver another fatal blow on Desolation, who turns just in time to catch him with a drop toe hold.

Harrison collapses onto his face and Desolation is standing up behind him, hooking the legs around his own. He pulls up on the wrists and goes for the Curb Stomp. Just then Mika steps in beside him, grabs his wrist, lifts up on it and delivers the Heart Punch directly to his sternum.

The swift strike causes Desolation to double over, reaching for his caved in sternum. Mika then grabs the Dark Man by the wrist and whips him directly towards Marie and Johnny, both individuals compelled to their feet with the aid of the ropes. They turn just in time to catch Desolation under his arms and hip toss him over the ropes to the exterior of the ring. There is nothing Desolation can do to keep from flipping and landing feet first on the floor.

Susie: Dammit…the Rumble just keeps striping away at my reason to live.

Dollar: And now Desolation is gone….The herd beginning to thin.

Susie: And Kingdom has managed to eliminate BOTH Hellkat AND Desolation….

Dollar: Albeit with some help.

Legion continues to exact punishment on all three of his opponents only to have Starr swing the gavel into his ankle. The boot is broken away from Alana’s carotid, causing him to hobble. Then the hand that is gripping Ba’al’s throat releases its grip thanks to the cane being swung into his forearm by Harrison.

Legion doubles over clutching at his arm just as Rose manages to leap into the air, and uses the Von Erich Claw to drag the NHB Champion down into the Code Breaker.

Legion stands up straight, swinging arms just as Rose rolls back across the ring and Amanda slides in at her side. The two ladies barrel across the ring and deliver simultaneous spears to Legion’s ribs, finally taking him down to the canvas.

Alana then swoops in behind Blayze and grabs her hair, charging her at the ropes. At the same time Katelyn is charging up behind Rose, grabbing a handful of her hair and rushing her along into the cables. Both ladies are about to be thrown over…before they plant their feet duck down and shove Starr and Katelyn towards the cables. The two ladies bounce off the ropes and then come back in at the former World Champion and the mixed martial artist.

Katelyn stops just short of Rose, drilling her in the face with a kick while Starr halts shy of Blayze, delivering a knee to her chin.

These strikes send their opponents down to the canvas and themselves turning to face one another. Almost immediately Katelyn swings around into ANOTHER KTFO but Starr manages to avoid it by ducking, the catching the crease of Buehler’s inbound elbow and then pushing back. Katelyn ends up with her spine face Alana, who charges her along into the cables.

Katelyn spills over but turns just in time to catch Alana by the wrist, dragging her down as well. Starr and Buehler end up collapsing onto the apron before struggling to their feet.

Buehler then lunges into the air, catches Alana by the neck and goes for the KBO..but the cutter is avoided, Starr pushing her off, sending her charging across the apron face first into a shot from the gavel.

Ba’al drills Katelyn to the side of the head with the weapon, knocking her out and sending her twisting to outside mats. She ends up landing….not on the mats….but on the arms of HURSE.

Dollar: We’ve seen several people come back out here to eliminate their rivals…but Hurse has returned to ringside to HELP Buehler.

Hurse holds Katelyn across his arms while staggering back across the mats. She begins to regain her senses, looking up into the eyes….eye of the man who caught her just before she could be eliminated.

Hurse: A little help goes a long way, Kate. I told you we’d be there for you.

Though she’s striped herself of any alliance to Porno Lad, she cannot shake her affiliation with Hurse. At that moment Alana is trying to get back into the ring, sliding through the ropes just as Harrison steps in out of nowhere and delivers a mafia kick to her cheek. The number one entrant spills to the outside mats……or more accurately into the arms of Jordan.

Andre rolled under the ropes and under Alana just in time to catch her.

Andre: I gotcha babe…you ain’t going nowhere.

Andre turns to face Hurse, and sees Katelyn in his arms.

Hurse turns ot face Andre, and sees Alana in her arms.

The two have the same thought, throwing kicks at one another in order to force them to drop the bundles in their arms. Katelyn tries to help, pushing herself up and onto Hurse’s shoulders, seated in an electric chair drop position. Alana does the same, only on Andre’s shoulders. The two them begin to throw punches and chops at one another while straddling the shoulders of the men instrumental in keeping them from being eliminated.

Dollar: This is just nuts!

Susie: The only thing keeping Alana and Katelyn alive is the piggy back rides their given by Hurse and Jordan.

Alana manages to catch Buehler with a forearm that sends her ALMOST collapsing from Hurse’s shoulders. But he manages to turn her around into a powerbomb position. He then scrambles towards the ring before he loses his footing and actually throws her through the ropes back into the ring.

Andre tries to do the same, precariously balancing Alana upon his shoulders and carrying her to the squared circle.

Dollar: Looks like Alana AND Katelyn are amazingly going to remain in the Rumble. I’m not sure we’ve ever seen anyone stay in the Rumble like that before.

Andre continues to carry Alana towards the ring when a crowbar cracks Jordan in the upper back. He collapses to his knees and tries to hold Starr up, but another shot from a crowbar finally causes him to fall flat on his face with Starr spilling down beside him.

Dollar: NOOO! Alana is gone!

Susie: Kind of hard to support someone when your back is being broken by a crowbar.

Dismay….distress….and depression is exuded by Alana as it finally dawns on her that she’s been eliminated. She is so beside herself that she didn’t even notice the woman who struck Andre down with the crowbar….that woman being the very individual who leaped the barricade to disappear amongst the crowd..This lady wearing a hoody turns back and pulls on the sweatshirt to reveal her diabolical blue eyes.

Dollar: It was Lohan….Brittany WAS here tonight.

Susie: And she was here to make sure that Alana didn’t win the Rumble.

Dollar: Poor Starr, she fought so hard to last this long in the Rumble, still harboring the belief she would get her hands on Lohan….but Brittany prevents that from happening by not competing tonight, and then she goes a step further by costing Starr a potential World Title shot.

Taylor stands up on the stage and glares into the crowd, trying to get a better look at the woman who just assaulted Starr, but Brittany does a job of vanishing amidst the audience and hiding her head under the hoodie.

Dollar: Alana’s dreams CRUSHED here tonight.

Starr sits on her knees despondently glaring at the mats beneath her and showing not an inkling of emotion. She doesn’t even turn to gauge Andre’s condition…..unable to bring herself to even look at the man who is barely breathing at this point thanks to the crowbar shots he withstood.

Inside of the ring Buehler is back on her feet, staring over the ropes at Hurse who gives her a thumbs up. Just as a smirk begns to form on Katelyn’s face, her arm is caught from behind and Evans heaves her into the Spinal Tap.

The full nelson into the back-breaker connects, leaving Buehler spent. She spills to the canvas at the side of an exhausted and hurting Evans, who has taken more than his fair share of bumps in this confrontation.

Kozlov is stooped down in front of a kneeling Legion who has fallen back first against the apron. She wedges a cane to his throat, pushing on it with all his strength in order to choke the life from his body.

Harrison steps through the ropes BEHIND Legion and leans puts the cane against his carotid, leaning back at the same time Mika leans forward. The two use their canes to strangle the masked demon.

Rose takes notice of this and goes to destroy the Blacklist, and in the process save Legion, only to be grabbed by the waistband. Savior is then dragged back, caught under the arm and heaved into the Spinal Tap by Evans.

Savior’s body ricochets from the raised knee and her mangled body goes writhing to the canvas. The man who has victimized her, stands up and turns towards Amanda, who is currently rushing across the ring. She leaps into the air, catches Evans by the neck and snaps back into a DDT, perhaps leading along into the Huntress Trap only to have Evans catch her by the back of her knees. He shoves her up and onto his shoulders into position for the powerbomb…not one of the standard variety either.

He drops down in order to deliver a powerbomb across his raised knee only to have Blayze flips back and land on her feet in front of the kneeling Evans. She then rushes forward, steps off Pat’s raised knee and connects with an enzugari to the back of his skull. Pat is knocked to a crawling base just as Kingdom staggers in, takes him around the neck, heaves him up and dumps him down via the Exodus Finale.

Evans crashes FORCEFULLY into the ring then goes rolling across it into the ropes. The absent minded Evans stumbles to his feet, leaning against the cables just as Amanda steps in and blasts him to the side of the head with a roundhouse kick that sends Evans spilling over the cables to the outside mats.

Dollar: There goes Evans!

>Susie: Awww…it was so great to see him back.

Dollar: He, Desolation, and Hellkat bring back some fond IWC memories, huh?

Susie: Ya betcha.

Dollar: Evans survived A LOT in this match, including a fallaway slam from the top of the turnbuckle onto Ladder, and then a chokeslam off of Ladder onto the entire roster.

Susie: What a performance by Pat tonight.

Frankie waves goodbye to Evans before being grabbed and spun around to face Alana.

Alana: THIS ISN’T OVER! I’m not leaving here tonight until I get Brittany….give ME Lohan.

Frankie TRIES to placate Starr but it isn’t working.

Fatigued combatants liter the ring or find themselves on the cusp of being eliminated. Marie is currently blasting the upper back of Kingdom with forearms while dragging him along into the ropes and trying to throw him over, but Johnny is holding on….holding on tight.

At the same time Amanda is twisting around to face the knife edge chop of Lucas.

Knight then delivers a big kick to her gut, doubling her over. He steps back and delivers a swift punt kick that is caught….caught in the clutches of Blayze. Amanda stands up and manages to swing the boot away from her, causing Lucas to go into a full rotation. He turns back around to face Blayze who leaps into the air for a knee strike…a knee that is caught….caught in the clutches of Knight.

Lucas then pulls her down onto his shoulders and steps towards the ropes, delivering a death valley driver that sends her flipping over the cables….cables that are caught…caught by Amanda.

Amazingly Blayze manages to twist her body and land on the apron. She then turns around just as Lucas does the same and leaps the cables, catching Knight around the neck, twisting him into a full rotation then snapping back into a DDT.

Blayze then rolls over and traps Knight in her patented submission to a piercing, standing ovation.

A flabbergasted Paradise completely ignores Alana at this point and then leaps up onto the apron.

Frankie: Get over there Sophie….help him…HELP Lucas!

Much like Frankie ignores Alana, Jones ignores Frankie, continuing to try and force Kingdom over the ropes.

Frankie: Get over there Marie…get over there NOW!

Jones shakes her head and continues to work over Kingdom.

Frankie: I said NOW!

He rushes across the apron and physically pushes Kingdom back into the ring, then grabs Marie by the shirt.

Frankie: Do as your to….

A slap to the cheek wasn’t what Frankie was asking for, but it was what he deserved. Marie delivers the shot that puts Frankie into a tizzy.

Dollar: Marie just slapped Frankie right in the face, she’s sick of him….she’s tired of being used. Believe me Marie, I know the feeling, it was so gratifying to knock out the person who’s been playing me for weeks.

Susie: All Marie needed was some baby powder on her palm and she would have totally bitch slapped Paradise.

The infuriated Frankie tries to enter the ring at this point, taking off his leather jacket and flinging it down to the mats. He then attempts to slip through the ropes just before his ankle is grabbed and Starr drags him off the apron. Paradise lands on his feet but doesn’t stay on them for long. A tire iron smacks him right in the cheek, Alana now standing over the laid out Paradise with stoic eyes.

Susie: Is she totally out of her gord?

Dollar: Me thinks so.

She slowly bends down over Paradise and growls rather than speaks her words.

Alana: You WILL give me, Brittany….or this little headache will only be the start of your misfortunes.

The cheek shattering shot from the tire iron leaves Frankie glaring into the rafters with glazed eyes. Meanwhile, the first assailant, Marie, turns and gets cracked in the knee with a kendo-stick swung by Mika.

Mika: You don’t ever challenge our Honey-Bunny’s authority.

She then swings the cane right into Marie’s upper back, spilling her across the ring before turning towards Blayze, who keeps the submission locked in on Lucas. She rushes in and swings the cane only to have Amanda leap from the lock on Knight and into the air, hitting the knee strike she was looking for a few moments ago. Yes, her knee connects, right with the cane swung by Kozlov.

Amanda then twists to the canvas, grabbing at her leg and grimacing in pain. After delivering the strike, Kozlov turns towards Taylor on the stage and points the weapon at her.

Mika: You’ll suffer the same fate, Malishka.

Her running mouth goes still when Romeo steps in out of nowhere, catches her around the neck and drags her face into the canvas via the downward spiral. Romeo then rolls to the center of the ring and just gets to a knee before a 2×4 smacks him in the back of his head, swung by a stumbling Marie.

Jones then uses the 2×4 as a crutch to hold herself up….which might not be the smartest move considering it leaves her exposed to the Totalis. Ba’al leaps right in behind her, catches her around the neck then snaps back into the zig-zag only to have Marie manage to push him off at the last second.

Ba’al hits the canvas then rolls over backwards to his feet just as Lucas swoops in from behind, catches him, heaves him up and drops him down via the Monarchy Rules.

The reaction is thunderous in response to this big move from Lucas delivered fittingly upon the sadistic Prince of Sin.

Marie turns around with the board in hand and draws it back over her head, about to bring it down on Lucas only to have Amanda reach out and grab Jones’ ankle, lifting it into the air. As a result Marie collapses to her stomach with Blayze standing up behind her, trying to lock on a submission hold.

She rolls Jones to her back and begins to step through the outstretched legs, perhaps going for the sharpshooter only to have Marie sit up and bash her right on top of the skull with the 2×4.

Blayze staggers back into the waiting arms of Lucas, who bends her over backwards and spins around into a cutter. Amanda’s skull ricochets from the canvas with such force that it pops her back up to her feet just as Jones rushes in and nails her to the throat with the board, sending her flipping over the ropes.

Dollar: It took a tremendous amount of punishment, but Amanda undone.

Susie: What an effort from Blayze here tonight, who was instrumental behind the elimination of several athletes tonight…..including Cassidy Haze.

There is no time to celebrate because Marie is caught by the hair, dragged back, hit with a punch to the kidneys and then put into position for that spinning cutter once again. However, Marie lifts her feet, wedges them to the middle rope and pushes off, back flipping over top of Lucas’ shoulder. She lands on her feet behind Knight and then waits for him to spin around…Just as he does a kick is given to his ribs, doubling him over and then a leg is draped across the back of his neck.

Dollar: Marie about to take out another one with the Vindicator…an SCW legend no less.

She is just about to spin through and hit the move only to have a cane connect with her upper back. Mika nails her with the shot and causes Jones to stoop over before being dragged into the shoulders of Lucas. Knight stands up and delivers a death valley driver that sends Jones flipping over the top rope and ultimately crashing down to the mats.

Susie: Wow….people going out left and right at this point.

Dollar: Indeed, Marie Jones finally vanquished after taking that shot from the kendo-stick followed by a DVD to the outside.

Susie: There went one of my favorites.

Dollar: Who was your overall favorite?

Susie: Bob.

Dollar: Of course.

Susie: Now I’m going with Ladder all the way.

Lucas turns around and manages to avoid being stricken with the cane. He ducks down and drives the top of his head into Kozlov’s ribs, staggering her back. He then turns just as Rose barrels into him, in the process revealing her weapon of choice, sliding a taser out of her pocket.

Dollar: Rose coming at Lucas with a….with a….taser!

Just before Rose can use the weapon that has been rather synonymous with the Blacklist in the past, she side steps the electrified barbs, catches her by the back of the head and throws her through the ropes. Rose comes down on her feet while Lucas moves across his, spiraling into the Lou Thez Press by Buehler.

Lucas collapses onto his back as Katelyn lands on top, unloading with left hand after left hand to his face. She only stops unloading on Lucas long enough to get her cast up to defend herself from the gavel being swung by Ba’al. It drills her right in the hand, causing her to scream out in agony.

Ba’al then watches as Buehler rolls across the canvas, cradling her arm to her stomach. Ba’al then lifts his weapon into the air and drives it down into Lucas’ face. Somehow Knight manages to roll out of the way just in time though, causing Ba’al to stoop forward and hit the gavel off the canvas. At the same time Kingdom swoops in at Ba’al’s side, catches him by the arm and forces him down to the ring, applying the Lesson in Leadership.

Dollar: Kingdom’s got him…Kingdom’s got Ba’al in the Lesson in Leadership.

Kingdom exerts as much pressure as he can on the hold until he spots a cane being swung at his face by Harrison. Johnny rolls out of the way and the cane comes down into Ba’al’s outstretched arm as a result.

The Prince of Sin cradles his arm across his stomach while Johnny gets back to his feet and is about to cradle something else. Harrison swoops in and swings the cane at Johnny’s head only to have Kingdom side step it and catch Aaron’s arm, CRADLING it against his stomach. He is just about to bring him down into the crossface when Lucas Knight steps in and throws a steel chair right into Kingdom’s face.

The steel bounces forcefully off of Johnny’s face and sends him staggering back yet SOMEHOW remaining on his feet. Just then Romeo comes barreling across the ring, stepping off the back of a crawling Ba’al and launching himself into a hurricarana. He lands on top of Johnny’s shoulders, and turns, falling back against the ropes and then flipping Kingdom to the outside.

Yet somehow Johnny manages to grab the top rope as he goes over, landing on his knee. He then stands up and turns towards Damascus, drilling him to the cheek with a back elbow. Focus shifts to the inbound Harrison, prompting Johnny to grab the top rope and pull himself over, about to spring into the ring only to be drilled to the temple with a superkick….a superkick delivered by Lucas while Kingdom was in mid-air.

The kick sends Kingdom spiraling down to the mats, eliminating him.

Dollar: Johnny getting back what he dished out so many times throughout this match.

Susie: And it just toppled a legend.

Dollar: One legend eliminated by another.

Susie: Great performance by Kingdom tonight.

Dollar: Man hasn’t missed a step in the ring.

Susie: We will miss you, Johnny.

Someone else about to be missed is Romeo, who stands up straight just as Lucas rushes the length of the ropes with his arms outstretched, going for a clothesline. But Romeo catches the inbound arm, hooking it, leaping the top rope, stretching his legs out over the upper back of Knight and then dragging him down to the canvas with a crucifix bomb.

Knight slams off the back of his head while Romeo is getting to his feet, back aimed towards Harrison.

Aaron grabs Romeo by the waistband, spins him around, hooks both of his arms and heaves him up into the double arm piledriver.

Dollar: High impact moves connecting left and right.

Susie: Surprised any of these competitors have anything left to hit these moves.

After dumping Romeo right on his skull, Harrison rolls to the center of the ring, standing up right alongside both Mika and Ba’al. The three then stare across the ring at a recovered Buehler and Legion, who has finally overcome the multiple strikes he just endured from the canes and Ladder.

Susie: And how fitting is this?

Ba’al looks amused as Legion and Buehler go to war against a three on two disadvantage. But perhaps odds can be evened…if the man currently crouching in the corner decides to act as opposed to cower….that man being P Clarence Whitman III.

Dollar: Wait a minute…Whitman is still in there?

Susie: Well he hasn’t exactly done anything memorable, aside from hugging the turnbuckle pretty much this whole time.

Katelyn and Legion turn simultaneously to glare down at Whitman, who reluctantly rises to his feet. The moment he spots the trio he is expected to face off against, the murderous Blacklist and the insidious Ba’al….Whitman’s course of action becomes clear. He turns, throws a leg over the top rope and begins to eliminate himself to a unanimous wave of disgust from the crowd. It goes against his better judgment to fight rather than flee, considering that every time he’s been asked to stand up during this match is has led to his suffrage.

Dollar: And he’s doing it AGAIN!

Susie: He’s eliminating himself?

Dollar: Just like at the End of the Year Special, Whitman is tucking tail and leaving rather than fighting the Blacklist and Ba’al.

Whitman is almost over the ropes when he hears a familiar phrase.

Buehler: Spineless coward.

Frozen…Whitman overcome with a bout of paralysis when he was already half way out of the ring. He suddenly drawls his leg BACK into the ring, suffering from that little problem known as a conscious. Not only does he re-enter the Rumble, but he steps right up beside Legion and Buehler.

Dollar: Whitman isn’t going anywhere!

Susie: He’s finally taking a stand.

Dollar: And here we have the very two athletes who ran from Legion all those months ago standing beside him to face down the embodiment of fear, Ba’al, and the Blacklist.

Whitman takes notice of the gavel in Ba’al’s hand, and the kendo-sticks in both Harrison’s and Mika’s. He then reaches down and picks up a chair to counter-balance this, while Buehler snatches up a steel pipe. They step forward to fight only for Whitman to hesitate….not of crippling fear…but from his acknowledgment of Legion’s empty hands.

Whitman: Erm…where’s your weapon?

Instead of offering a verbal response, Legion answers physically, picking Whitman up and throwing him into their rivals. Kozlov, Harrison and Ba’al go down to the canvas with Whitman landing on top. Legion instantly rushes across the ring and grabs Harrison by the bangs, dragging him to his knees and subjecting him to roundhouse kicks to the chest. At the same time Kozlov is scrambling after the annoyance that is Whitman, who is fleeing in terror.

Ba’al slowly turns to his stomach, feeling the effects of this match. He begins to stand up when he finds his hand pressed down to the canvas by Katelyn’s boot. From the boot his eyes shoot to the face of Katelyn, who is twirling a gavel around her one good hand.

Dollar: Katelyn on the verge of getting revenge.

Susie: Vindication for Katelyn.

Buehler swings the gavel down into Ba’al’s knuckles, resulting in a loud chuckle from the Prince of Sin, who tries to laugh through the pulsing pain. He rolls across the ring holding his possible fractured knuckles while Katelyn points and shouts at him.

Buehler: I said NO ONE is standing between me and my perfect Invictus.

The laughter continues as Ba’al raises his crooked finger into the air before snapping it back in place. Whitman continues to scramble around and around the ring with Mika following before he suddenly ducks when reaching Legion, whose boot travels over his head right into Kozlov’s face, knocking her down to the canvas.

Andre now rolls back into the ring, whole body drained and tensed with pain, having been in there for the duration of this Rumble.

Dollar: Somehow Jordan is willing himself back into this match.

Susie: I don’t see how, the guy has been beaten from pillar to post tonight.

At the same time Rose is sliding back into the ring, refusing to be forgotten as she brings a different weapon into play…another weapon associated with the Blacklist. She has a bottle of liquor in one hand and a lighter in the other…..both conveniently placed beneath the ring right where Rose knew where to find them.

Dollar: Ohhhhh shit.

Susie: We might just see someone burn here tonight.

Dollar: Mika claimed it would be Taylor who burns when they face off on Riot!, but it looks like Kozlov is gonna be the one set ablaze.

She approaches the down Kozlov and begins to pour liquor on her body.

Dollar: Rose Savior is going to burn Mika alive like the Blacklist has done to so many others.

Just as Rose pulls the lighter up about to flick the flint Lucas grabs her by the wrist, pulling her around and then dragging her forward into the lariat. Rose ducks it though and then waits for Knight to turn. The moment he spins around Rose is leaping into the air for the Black Rose, but Knight wedges hands to her spine and shoves her off, sending her charging towards Andre, who steps forward and catches her against his shoulder. He heaves her up into the air for the sit-out spinebuster but Savior slips around his shoulder and lands behind his back.

Andre then spins around and has the liquor bottle shattered over his skull.

Dollar: Ohhhh….Andre busted in the head with the bottle.

Susie: Nothing will strand between Rose and the World Title…nothing.

Mika grabs the lighter that Savior dropped, not letting anyone get hold of it considering she’s currently doused in alcohol. Rose side steps Andre, drags him along to the ropes and throws him over. She turns her back, thinking he’s been eliminated, not even realizing that he’s grabbed the top cable in the process. He now hangs over the ropes with the crowd erupting.

Dollar: And yet Andre is STILL alive.

Andre stands up with his head gushing blood and then gets subjected to a swift thrust kick by Savior, finally knocking him to the outside. The crowd bemoans Andre’s elim….WAIT….he landed on top of the popcorn bags at ringside that Mr. Hush was using as a weapon. His feet are raised in the air with his back wedged to said trash-bags, meaning he never hit the floor.

Dollar: UNREAL!

Susie: Andre is still STILL alive.

Suddenly Rose takes off across the ring and drills Lucas to the shin with a basement dropkick. At the same time Romeo is crawling back into the squared circle just as a recovered Harrison moves in and delivers a swift boot to his ribs, flipping him over to his back.

Legion and Buehler now have hold of Ba’al, trying to push him backwards over the ropes, yet he hooks the cable with his arms and refuses to be tossed.

Harrison spots a weapon introduced earlier into this match, the railroad spike. He picks up Hurse’s weapon and…you guessed it….sneers. He pulls back the weapon as Romeo gets to a knee in front of him. He is just about to use the weapon to do unspeakable things when a chair rams into his upper back….a chair swung by P. Clarence Whitman III….of all people.

The shot does little damage, annoying Harrison more than anything else. He turns and gives a condemning shake of his head while Clarence BEGS for mercy. He drops the chair and begins to back away from Harrison, pleading his case, but the judgment has already been made.

Aaron’s attention drifts from the whimpering Whitman to the plight of his love….Mika is grabbed by the ankle, dragged beneath the ropes and sent crashing to the floor, right at the feet of the Icon. Orlando glares down at the laid out Kozlov and then reaches down, taking the lighter right out of her palm.

Dollar: Oh wait a minute, come on now Cruze, don’t stoop to this level.

Susie: Orlando is out here and his issues with Harrison have been so well documented.

Dollar: These two have been on a campaign to destroy each other since the IWC reopened its doors….but it looks like Mika has been caught in the cross-fire…no pun intended.

The lighter is flicked and the flame is produced….a small flame that might turn into a bonfire should it drop on the alcohol drenched attire clinging to Mika. Orlando turns his gaze towards Taylor, who looks conflicted, and then Harrison, who looks uncharacteristically enraged. Harrison approaches the cables, shouting over them at Orlando who is presently lowering the lighter towards Mika to a hailstorm of screams from the fans.

Suddenly Shaun rushes in behind his brother though, and takes the lighter out of his hand before shoving him forward into the steel steps. Orlando’s knees bounce off as his body goes flipping oer the stairs and crashing across the mats.

Dollar: Shaun Cruze has just attacked his flesh and blood.

Susie: These two seriously need a family therapist…same for Mika and Taylor.

Dollar: Yeah, might need one big group therapy session.

The Icon is strewn across the mats and now his brother turns with lighter raised above is head.

Shaun: Time to put this in the right hands….Here you go Harrison….

Aaron sighs with relief as he reaches over the cables for the lighter. Unfortunately, the lighter is just out of his reach, prompting Harrison to stretch even further. Just then Whitman rushes up behind Harrison, grabs him by the legs and then heaves them into the air. Harrison goes spilling right over the cables and crashes to the outside mats.

Dollar: AHHHH!

Susie: Harrison was reaching out for the lighter….but he couldn’t get to it….and Whitman….that’s right…P Clarence Whitman of all people eliminates him.

Dollar: Aaron is out..he’s gone from the Rumble.

Clarence is going airborne, celebrating his SHOCKING elimination of Harrison, and the crowd joices alongside him. Aaron looks up into the face of Mika, who is being aided to her feet by Cruze. Shaun quickly hands the lighter to Aaron, who grips it to the point that friction welts start to form in his palm.

Harrison: My Mika….please finish this on my behalf.

Suddenly a steel chair wielding Orlando swings the weapon right into Mika’s back, knocking her down and into Harrison’s lap. Shaun turns around looking furious as Orlando holds him at bay by pulling back on the chair.

Dollar: And the Icon continuing to flip out here at ringside.

Orlando backs up the ramp shouting threats at both Harrison and his brother, sending a message both physically and verbally. Harrison stands up after checking on Mika’s condition then rushes up the ramp with Shaun following, both men in pursuit of the Icon who has now disappeared through the curtains. As they charge by, Taylor steps forth and watches them…conflicted in regards to rather she should go to the back and help Orlando, or stay out here to watch the remainder of the Rumble.

To everyone’s surprise a bloodied Andre has pulled his mangled, exhausted frame into the ring.

Dollar: Look at this, Andre taking advantage of those popcorn bags at ringside to get him back in the Rumble….

Susie: How is he able to move?

Dollar: He has been in this match for OVER an HOUR! And Katelyn Buehler is getting damn close to sixty minutes worth of competition as well.

Lucas closes in on Andre, nailing him repeated stomps to his bloodied face. He even picks up the cricket bat and swings it down into Andre’s body, hitting any section that moves.

Lucas: Bloody hell man….just die already.

Lucas drags Andre by the back of the head to his feet then charges him at the ropes, throwing him over.

Dollar: And Andre is….

Susie: NO! He’s still holding on.

Even though all his muscles have stopped working and his body is no longer capable of feeling, Andre manages to grab the ropes and hang almost lifelessly from them.

Buehler has Ba’al wedges against the ropes, trying to lift him on his legs and eliminate him from this match before she gets an eye full of finger nails. The gouging causes Buehler to turn away, wincing in pain. Ba’al then turns, takes her by the hair, drags her around and tries to throw her over the ropes. She gets about half way over them yet STILL hangs onto the top cable.

At the same time that Buehler finds herself in a life or death struggle with the ropes….Rose has decided to pick a fight with the biggest dog in the yard. Legion has reached a knee just as Savior steps in and cracks his skull with a flapjack. This blow proves ineffective against the N.H.B Champion…therefore Rose drops the flapjack and picks up a steel chair instead, swinging it viciously into Legion’s skull. Yet he still looks un-phased…so now Rose picks up a kendo-stick and swings it with enough force to fracture it in two.

Even with splinters flying Legion still bobs on his knees and does not go down. Just then Romeo charges in, takes the kneeing Legion around the neck then snaps back into a DDT, bringing his skull into the chair stretched across the canvas.

Legion rolls to his back as the chair is then placed across his chest. Romeo turns and approaches the nearest corner, sliding through the ropes, climbing the turnbuckle and getting himself in position just as Whitman comes rushing across the ring to try and take him out. But Damascus flies over top of Whitman, across the ring and into a senton bomb right across the chair and Legion’s chest.

The Black Crusade member convulses as Romeo does the same, aching upon rolling away from his prey. Just then Rose comes flipping off the top rope from another nearby corner, nailing a 450 splash across the chair and driving it against Legion’s ribcage.

Dollar: Rose and Romeo WISELY targeting Legion.

Susie: They’re softening him up for an elimination.

Every muscle and bone in Legion’s body should be destroyed at this point but he is not only still breathing, but he’s TRYING to sit up.

Dollar: No way…NO WAY can Legion just brush off those blows.

He DOES.

Legion defies reality by sitting up on the canvas….and the moment he sits up Ba’al shatters the gavel over his skull. The hammer breaks to pieces and Legion’s body finally goes limp.

An aching Savior gets to her feet, doubled over her ribs when Mika slides in behind her, takes the bangs of her hair and throws the woman who TRIED to burn her over the top rope. But Savior grabs the cable just before she can take a nasty tumble to the mats. She lands on her feet across the apron and then throws a forearm over the cables that served as her salvation, connecting right across Mika’s jaw.

Kozlov then stumbles back into the arms of Knight, who heaves her up and drops to his seat, connecting with the Monarchy Rules.

Dollar: And the Monarchy Rules AGAIN connects, this time on Kozlov.

Mika goes limp as a soaked noodle.

Knight gets to his feet and rushes at Rose, who throws a big fist over the ropes into the cheek of the SCW legend. Knight staggers away from Rose, turning just as Romeo steps in and delivers a thunderous chair shot right over his skull. Knight goes down to the canvas right beside Mika and Romeo bends down, putting his way across the chair, turning it into a crutch.

Katelyn now tries her luck, rushing across the apron that she was pushed onto by Ba’al and diving into the kick aimed at Rose’s face. But Savior catches the boot, shoves it down and then delivers a bionic elbow to the top of her head. Buehler stumbles back just as Ba’al reaches over the cables and grabs her hair. That’s when Katelyn drops to her back, launches her shin, and nails the Prince of Sin in his temple. The shot sends Ba’al spiraling across the ring.

Now Andre, who is a walking zombie at the moment, finds his twelfth, rushing at Rose, who manages to side step Andre as he comes in and throws a big knee into his cheek. Jordan twists away from Rose and tries his best to maintain his footing.

He turns right into Romeo, who swings the chair with all his strength at Jordan’s head only to be caught against his shoulder. Andre heaves him up, turns and throws him into the very ropes that Rose is standing on the opposite side of. He crashes into Savior and knocks her from the apron.

Dollar: ROSE is elimi….

Susie: No….no….no!

Savior is shot off the apron and sent twisting into the steps, she crashes into them and one foot hits the mats, yet the other remains elevated just above it. Though the stairs cause her tremendous agony, they also keep her from being eliminated.

Dollar: Rose catching the stairs and keeping herself in the Rumble!

Damascus now staggers forward into Andre, who catches him, heaves him up, turns and slams him down via a spinebuster on the very chair that Romeo has been using as such a proficient weapon. The chair is then slid out of the ring by a near vegetative and bleeding Jordan.

Dollar: What a Cinderella story this would be for Andre….

Susie: Are you implying that Andre looks good in slippers.

Dollar: I don’t know how Andre spends his weekends…but as I was saying, if Andre can hang on to win this in his debut, after going over an hour and losing this much blood, just think of the statement that would make.

Susie: I think Andre has already made a hell of a statement tonight.

Everything on Jordan hurts, yet he still manages to reach his feet, leaning back against the ropes. Just then Whitman rushes across the ring and nails him to the throat with a lariat. Clarence watches as Andre flips over the ropes, then turns away to celebrate, but does so too quickly, because Jordan held onto the top cable. He comes down on his knees across the apron and slowly works his way back up to his feet to the shock of the audience.

His knees almost buckle once he reaches his feet, his ailments blinding him to the fact that Rose has sat up on the top stair and is wedging her hands to his backside. Jordan is then pushes right into the KTFO by Buehler. The roaring elbow connects and sends Andre spilling to the outside mats.

Dollar: Awwww shucks!

Susie: The Cinderella story doesn’t end with kissing Prince Charming, since, well, that would be pretty disgusting in Andre’s case.

Dollar: Jordan survived in there for so long, before Buehler…the second longest lasting participant finally managed to eliminate him.

A standing ovation is given to Andre, everyone putting their hands together for his very valiant performance this evening. Someone else who has put on a performance that has been simply epic, is Katelyn, who looks to leave a lasting impression on Rose much like she’s left one on the fans. She steps across the apron and catches Rose off guard, wedging her foot to Savior’s chest and kicking her back off of the steel steps. Rose is unable to prevent flipping over and landing on the back of her head and shoulders across the mats….but her feet…her feet are still elevated above her with the small of her spine propped by the stairs.

Susie: Rose is gone….

Dollar: No…wait…her feet never actually hit the floor!

Buehler realizes this at the same time the fans do, prompting her to walk down to the top of the steps, reaching out and grabbing Rose’s elevated ankles. She tries to push them down to the mats but instead finds ankles wrapping around her neck. Savior does a head-stand, on the verge of pulling Buehler off the stairs into a head-scissors that would eliminate her.

The crowd watches this as does referee Ingelson, who slides to the outside to get a very up close and personal view.

Dollar: Rose…Rose about to eliminate Katelyn.

Buehler will not let this happen, blocking the pain in her hand in order to reach out and wrap it around the top rope. She then pushes on the ankles wrapped around her neck, shoving them away and sending them down towards the mats.

But instead of the feet hitting the floor, they land right across Ingelson’s shoulders. Rose now finds herself doing a headstand with her feet elevated upon the official’s arms.

Dollar: What the hell are we seeing here!?!

Susie: This is RIDICULOUS!

Dollar: Ridiculously awesome.

Katelyn sighs as she realizes that Rose still hasn’t been eliminated.

That’s when a kendo-stick is swung right into the very hand wrapped around the top rope, cracking her already previously cracked knuckles. Buehler unleashes a primal scream, doubling over the hand and cradling to her stomach.

Dollar: Mika has recovered from the Monarchy Rules…and just in time to SHATTER Buehler’s hand.

Katelyn’s whole body quivers around her injured hand as another official, Wright rushes down the ramp to check on her and now implores her to exit the match. He is shoved aside though, Katelyn REFUSING to give up.

Mika then reaches over the cables and grabs Katelyn’s hair, trying to pull back on it and in the process drag her off the top steps to the mats. But much like Harrison, she stretches herself too far….and allows Whitman to rush in behind her, grabbing her shins and shoving her over the top rope. The fans are elated as Mika goes sailing over the cables and Whitman once again begins to celebrate.

However, somehow Mika manages to land on the apron across her rear end, preventing elimination. None the less Whitman is still hopping around celebrating with the misguided perception that he’s eliminated BOTH members of the Blacklist.

The celebration ends when Whitman finds his shirt grabbed and his body spinning towards Ba’al. His throat is then grabbed as Ba’al menacing smile creeps towards his mustachioed face.

Ba’al: You picked a bad night to grow a spine Whitman.

Ba’al retracts his fist only to have Katelyn reach over the cables with her good hand and grab it. This prompts Ba’al to spin around and throw a hard punch into Katelyn’s face, almost knocking her from the steps to the outside. But somehow she manages to grab the turnbuckle, keeping herself from taking the fall.

However, the distraction to Ba’al proves quite advantageous for Whitman, who manages to escape Ba’al’s clutches. The Prince of Sin then turns back towards Clarence and comes charging at him just as Whitman closes his eyes and fears the worse. That’s when Legion steps in out of nowhere and cracks Ba’al under the jaw with the Guiding Hand. Legion then shoves Whitman out of the way as Mika steps in swings at him with the cane.

To the canvas collapses Clarence, and into the air Mika is thrown, Legion catching her on top of his shoulders then driving her down via the Misery II.

Legion saves Whitman but maybe not himself, as a cricket bat drills him in the upper back, one swung by Knight.

Romeo then steps in and drives a 2×4 into the jaw of the N.H.B Champion. The shots have Legion staggering back into the ropes as Damascus and Knight try to lift up on his legs and eliminate him. Legion isn’t going over without a fight, not through here tonight, not by a long shot.

Two individuals who have felt his wrath are Mika and Ba’al, who TRY to stand up…bad move.

Whitman steps in behind them both and takes their heads into his palms.

Whitman: You two picked a very bad night to fool with MISTER Whitman.

The fans are in disbelief as Whitman charges the pair towards the ropes.

Dollar: Whitman is about to eliminate Mika and Ba’al at the same time!!

Susie: As if his elimination of Harrison wasn’t shocking enough.

It seems Whitman is on the verge of making history…but appearances are deceiving. Ba’al and Kozlov duck at the same time and shove Whitman with enough force into the ropes to send him spilling over and tumbling to the mats.

Dollar: Another feel good moment ruined!

Susie: Whitman has been tossed.

Dollar: The ultimate underdog just eliminated when he was so incredibly close to pulling off a miracle in the ring tonight.

Whitman lies on his back looking stunned while Andre, in spite of being nothing short of brain dead at this point, reaches into the ring not to exact revenge, but to extract the Tag Team Title belt that Gavin was so desperate to get hold of. He flings the strap over his shoulder and begins to stumble to the backstage area.

Dollar: Andre looks like he’s trying to salvage SOMETHING out of his performance tonight.

Susie: Robert left with the other Tag Title, and now Andre is leaving with this one.

Katelyn, Rose, Mika, Ba’al, Lucas, Legion and Romeo represent the final elite seven in this incredibly vicious Rumble match…one that continues to wage on and continues to grow more and more violent with every passing second. Ba’al and Mika now rush towards Legion, joining Lucas and Romeo in their attempt to eliminate him. Yet Legion, in spite of everything his body has suffered throughout the course of this match continues to hang onto the ropes.

In the meanwhile Rose is crawling hand over hand across the mats with her ankles still placed across Ingelson’s shoulders, forcing him to hold her up and walk along behind her. She finally reaches the stairs and employs them to climb up to the apron and then roll back into the ring.

Dollar: I don’t know how she managed to do it, but Rose remains in the Rumble.

One person who may not remain is Legion, who is getting closer and closer to being flipped over the cables.

A steel pipe puts an end to that notion….Katelyn swinging it with her one good hand. She nails Mika and Ba’al over their backs, preventing them from eliminating Legion. She keeps her injured hand wedged to her stomach, unable to even move it at this point. Romeo turns towards her and somehow manages to catch the bar before it can bash his skull. He then grabs Katelyn’s wrist and whips her towards the ropes. But Buehler turns and somehow manages to reverse the whip, dragging Damascus into a boot to his gut. She then rushes back at the stooped over Damascus before having a steel chair swung violently into the very hand that she’s holding across her stomach.

The expression of pain on Buehler’s face says it all….the hand totally broken at this point, but not her will to carry on. The chair swung by Knight, sends Buehler rolling to the outside. She drops to the mats and falls to her knees, face twisted into a total contortion of pain. Referee Wright steps in and checks on Buehler before throwing up an ‘x’ with his arms, insisting that she is no longer in any condition to compete.

Buehler then stands up and grabs the official by his shirt, backing him up across the mats and shouting into his face.

Buehler: I’m not leaving you bastard…you hear me….I’m not going anywhere….I WILL win this Rumble tonight and this injury isn’t going to stop me….AAAAHHH!

The moment they get near the stairs, her injured hand is grabbed, extended out over the top of the steel steps, wedged there and then smashed with a gavel by Rachel Foxx.

Dollar: OOOOH GOD!

Susie: Foxx out here again and this time she DID connect with that gavel.

Foxx licks her lips and backs away listening to the symphony that are Katelyn’s screams of agony. Instantly Buehler falls to her spine, rolling across the mats and wrapping herself entirely around her hand. Referee Wright tries to check on it but gets swatted aside.

Buehler: Don’t touch it….oh God don’t touch it….AAAHH!

As the Suicide Queen backs up the ramp, EMTS rush down it, quickly coming to the aid of Buehler, whose hand has swollen to three times its normal size.

The very chair that bashed Buehler’s fist a few moments before the gavel, is swung by Lucas towards Romeo’s skull. But Damascus ducks, catches the back of Knight’s head and turns his own momentum against him, charging him at the ropes and throwing him over. Somehow Lucas manages to grab the top rope though, keeping himself in this match.

Knight then rolls back into the ring just as Romeo snatches up the chair and threatens to use it. He steps towards the now kneeling Lucas and lifts the weapon above his head. Just then Knight reaches his hands up and gestures for a time out.

Lucas: Whoa-whoa-whoa….stop right there, Chap.

Romeo hesitates for God only knows what reason.

Lucas: Forget about using that chair…Not necessary….I don’t need the win that badly. If you’ll allow me, I’ll take the honors of eliminating myself.

Damascus slowly lowers the chair as Lucas rises to his feet brushing himself off in the process.

Dollar: Is Lucas serious? He’s actually going to eliminate himself?

Susie: I guess he’s had enough.

Dollar: Well, Lucas is a LEGEND….maybe he feels competing in this type of sordid soirree is beneath him.

Lucas is not a man of deception, moving towards the ropes and throwing a leg over the top cable while Romeo watches this whole scene unfold in ‘confusion.’ Just then Rose steps in and grabs Damascus by the shoulder, spinning him around to try and take the chair out of his hands. She manages to get hold of it but also gets something else, a big roundhouse kick to the back of her head.

Savior is sent twisting down to the canvas while Damascus turns in a full circle. He spins completely around into another kick, this one being delivered by Lucas, right to Romeo’s crotch. Damascus can’t even verbalize his pain, or his shock as Knight grabs him by the back of the head, charges him at the ropes and throws him over to the floor below.

Susie: Lucas was playing Romeo….he got him to drop his guard and now has just eliminated Damascus from the Rumble.

Dollar: Why that little trickster.

A grin forms on Lucas’ face as he looks over the cables at Damascus and shakes his head.

Lucas: When will you people ever learn?

As Damascus recovers from both the physical and emotional blows…Katelyn tries to do the same and TRIES to barrel right through the EMTS to re-enter the Rumble. She manages to push them aside even as they grab at her. Some are still holding her ankles and boots as she somehow finds herself sliding into the ring, desperately clawing at it.

Dollar: Katelyn just will not let the EMTS take her out of this match.

Suddenly Ba’al leaps into the air and stomps down as hard as he can on the injured hand Katelyn was TRYING to use to prevent being dragged out of the ring. Again all she can do is cry out in agony, rolling to her back and curling into a fetal position around her injured arm. EMTS then manage to slide her out and FORCE her up the ramp.

Susie: Good, get her out of here before she injures herself any further.

Dollar: I guess Katelyn is eliminated via forfeiture.

Ba’al watches with a truly twisted grin as Katelyn is dragged up the ramp and surrounded on all sides by EMTS. Just then Rose rushes up behind Ba’al, grabs him by the head and pitches him into the ropes. He tumbles over them and twists to the apron, landing across it as opposed to hitting the floor.

Lucas now turns away from Romeo and spots the exposed back of Savior, taking full advantage of this. He rushes across the ring, grabs Savior by the hair and charges her at the very cables Ba’al stands on the opposite side of.

He throws Rose along right into a front chancery by Ba’al, who heaves her up into the air in a vertical suplex position.

Dollar: Ba’al about to suplex Rose right out of the Rumble.

Somehow Rose manages to twist her body though so that she drops down to her feet across the apron, squirming out of Ba’al’s arms. The Prince of Sin spins around and gets caught across the neck…..the Black Rose on the verge of connecting.

Just then Ba’al shoves her off, sending Rose charging into the nearby turnbuckle in which she does a headstand upon.

She twists her body and her legs come down back into the ring and right on top of an inbound Lucas’ shoulders. She lets go of the ropes and swings around, sending Knight flying across the ring via the head scissors and right into the front chancery of Ba’al. He heaves Knight up and then turns, throwing him down to the floor with the Falcon’s Arrow.

Ba’al eliminates Lucas Knight.

Dollar: Ba’al has just pitched Lucas to the outside….

Susie: What a night Lucas had though…..especially after being out of the ring for so long.

Dollar: And how cruel that Lucas was eliminated by a member of the infamous Frost family.

Somehow Ba’al persists through the pain as this grueling match proceeds. Inside of the ring Rose rises slowly to her feet, keeping a wary eye on the Prince of Sin the whole time. Her focus is well placed, but in the end quite costly. But to be fair, no one was particularly interested in Red Dalek….not until now at least. One of the steel panels begins to open, dropping off just as a figure exits…that figure being Desmond Drake.

Dollar: NO!

Susie: Wait-wait-wait….Am I….is this….what the?

Johnny is even too stunned to deliver a slap at this point to the back of his partner’s head. To an explosive reception Drake tentatively steps across the ring, being as discreet as possible as he approaches the taser that was dropped on the canvas earlier in this match. Now the very taser that Rose introduced is put to her backside and electrical currents shoot all throughout her body.

Dollar: Desmond Drake who was hiding inside of Red Dalek this whole time is tasing Savior!

Susie: Most awesome swerve ever!

The electrocution persists until Rose is reduced to nothing but a twitching mess on the canvas. The weapon is tossed aside at this point and Desmond steps over Rose, bending down with his hands on his knees, getting mere inches from her unconscious face.

Desmond: No one denies my love….NO ONE!

Drake can’t pass up the opportunity to not just rub salt in the wounds, but to pucker his lips and move them closer to Rose’s.

Desmond: This is so much easier when you’re not fighting back.

Desmond is about to make out with an unconscious Rose only to find himself cooled by the huge shadow cast over him. The fans are given reason to rejoice once again as Legion steps up behind Desmond…..who’s heart instantly leaps into his throat…choking on it.

Dollar: Uuuuuhhhh-oooooohhh!

Desmond has gone whiter than Michael Jackson post 1980’s as he turns slowly….ever so slowly in the direction of Legion, the man who crippled him via the Lighttube Crucifixion at Upping the Ante.

Desmond: Ummm, no hard feelings?

Legion tilts his head then extends his hands, grabbing Desmond’s ears and using them to heave him up into the air.

Dollar: Legion has got his hands on Desmond once again.

Drake’s little legs are kicking desperately beneath his body as he’s suspended above the ring by his legs. Legion then heaves him up into a gorilla press, rushes across the ring and THROWS him not just over the ropes, but over the mats and down into the announce table. His diminutive body bounces right off the surface of the table and goes crashing to the concrete between a stunned Susie and Dollar.

Dollar: Oh DEAR GOD!

Susie: Legion just killed Desmond again!

A rousing holy shit chant has started from the crowd in reaction to Legion’s total destruction of the Board’s liaison.

The N.H.B Champion steps back at this point right into a shot from a steel pipe to the back of his skull. Mika capitalizing on his distraction. She then nails him again with cranium bursting force with the pipe, knocking Legion down and into the ropes, falling over them.

Dollar: Legion about to be tossed.

Susie: Can some of those aids who are fighting with Buehler please get down here to help Desmond? It looks like every bone in his tiny body is broken.

Dollar: What a spill he suffered at the hands of the very man about to be eliminated.

Mika is still trying to force Legion over the ropes but halts once she spots Katelyn again trying to get back into the ring. EMTS have hold of every part of her save for her one good hand, which wraps around the bottom rope and desperately tries to pull her into the squared circle. She is forced to comply though, shoved from the ropes just in time to prevent Mika from kicking her knuckles.

Kozlov then turns away from one ailing lady to another…Rose desperately trying to force herself up from the canvas. She has no function of her brain, body operating on nothing but instinct at this point. Kozlov glances at her and then back up at Taylor who decided to remain on the stage. A grin forms on Mika’s face.

Mika: It seems we shall end this at Invictus.

She then turns towards the discombobulated Rose, and manages to drag her up onto her shoulder. She then rushes at the ropes with Savior loaded into a running powerslam position, throwing her over the cables….

Dollar: And there goes….WAAAIT!

Rose flips over the top rope and catches Mika by the hair on the way down. Savior lands on her seat across the apron and pulls down on Kozlov’s hair, dragging her down over the top rope and sending her crashing to the outside mats.

Dollar: Rose just managed to counter….into a snapmare that has sent Mika to the mats!

Susie: She’s eliminated she’s eliminated…holy shit she’s eliminated!

Mika CANNOT believe this….rolling to her elbows and knees and ripping at her hair in disbelief.

Dollar: Rose Savior has just managed to cost Mika her dream of facing her sister at Invictus for the World Championship.

Rose slowly rolls under the ropes, finding her body not very compliant with her passion to win back the championship. Drool is seeping from the corners of her mouth after the electrocution, and her legs are trembling beneath her as she tries to straighten them out. It’s just then, after so much labor, that Ba’al moves in and rams a knee right against her temple.

The shot knocks Rose into the cables, lying stretched throat first across it.

Dollar: And now Ba’al comes in and picks up the pieces.

Susie: What’s left of Rose? Anything…anything at all?

Unbelievably Rose is pulling herself up to her feet and Ba’al actually helps her this time. He puts his back to the cables, drags her head into his armpit, applying a front chancery. An amused Ba’al can’t help himself…

Ba’al: You sad little wretch….did you honestly think tonight would be about YOUR rebirth? That the Queen would retake her throne? No. Tonight is about justice. Righteousness achieved by a Prince….

Ba’al heaves Rose into the falcon’s arrow, turning and throwing her over the top rope. He begins to chuckle just before he realizes he’s been caught under the jaw. Rose does go tumbling over the ropes, but she manages to drag down on the jaw and drag Ba’al over the cables, sending him flipping backwards then crashing to the mats.

Rose lands across her side on the apron while the Prince of Sin falls to the floor.

Dollar: You’re kidding!

Susie: Ba’al….Rose just eliminated him TOO!

Dollar: I thought Ba’al was a surefire winner here….Rose was plum for the pickings.

Susie: But somehow Rose continues to do the unthinkable.

Dollar: Even after an electrocution she continues to endure.

Susie: This is an unreal performance.

Every bit of remaining strength is put into summoning Rose to her feet. She rolls back into the ring while the fans get over the shock of Ba’al’s elimination. The Prince of Sin sits up on the mats and shakes his head judgmentally.

Ba’al: Justice will be done….

Rose stands up just in time to find her eyes drearily gazing into the chest of Legion. Her dilated pupils then ascend to the masked face of the NHB Champion.

Dollar: And here we go….Legion versus Rose Savior…the final two entrants in the Rumble.

Susie: The lone survivors….wait….can there be a such thing as ‘LONE’ survivors? Doesn’t make much sense.

Dollar: Save the semantics for later…and concentrate on what you’re seeing….the end to this over hour long Rumble….with one of these two moving on to face Taylor for the title at Invictus.

The wait is over, Legion reaching out for Rose who swoops under his arms. The Black Crusade member then turns and throws a boot at Rose, who drops into a baseball slide under his leg. Somehow she manages to stay alive by avoiding Legion’s enormous limbs. Not only survive, but perhaps thrive. She rushes across the ring, ricochets off and comes back in and dives into another spear…another spear that is caught. Legion heaving her up and onto his shoulders in the powerbomb position.

Dollar: The spear countered into the Misery!

Susie: No that’s NOT what he’s going for.

Instead of driving Rose down, Legion takes off running, about to throw Savior over the top rope with a release powerbomb. The crowd holds its breath as Rose flies over the cables but in the process wraps her legs around Legion’s head, dragging him down into a hurricarana.

Dollar: Rose has done it again…she’s going to Invictus!

All eyes cut to Legion as he leans over the ropes, but somehow miraculously prevents crashing over them. Rose is doing a headstand on the apron, wrenching with her incredible leg strength on the neck of Legion, desperately trying to pull him down. Legion wraps his hands around the top rope as he slowly begins to slide over that very cable, closer and closer to going over.

Dollar: This is it….this is it….Rose has Legion….She’s managed to do the inconceivable, return and win the Rumble.

Legion snarls as his feet leave the canvas.

Rose can feel it…the crowd can feel it…the entire world can feel it….SHOCK. Legion stands up straight and heaves Rose from her headstand back onto his shoulders. But what legion doesn’t realize is that Savior has managed to grab hold of the very cricket bat that Knight brought to the ring. Once loaded up on Legion’s shoulders on the brink of being forced over the ropes, Rose swings the bat down right into the N.H.B Champion’s skull.

Rose then pushes herself up and over Legion’s skull, leap frogging and landing on her feet behind him. Legion staggers forward into the ropes, falling against them.

Dollar: Cricket bat to the top of Legion’s head, he’s incredibly unstable, this is it, this is the moment where Rose achieves her grace.

Savior turns, looking at a loss for words considering Legion is still standing. This prompts her to rush in only to be caught by the throat…

Dollar: Legion’s got her….he’s got her….

Legion grabs the back of Rose’s tights and heaves her up into a chokeslam intent on tossing her over the ropes. But in mid-air Rose twists her body, catches Legion around the neck and drags him down into the Black Rose on one of the many steel chairs left on the canvas.

The masked Legion’s face bounces off the steel and his body now goes writhing across the canvas.

Dollar: But Savior somehow manages to counter into the Black Rose!

Susie: The will and testament we’re seeing from these two….

Dollar: It defies anything we’ve ever seen before.

Somehow Legion is rising to his feet, struggling up in spite of the compounding injuries. He stands with his back to the ropes just as Rose steps in with the chair in hand, swinging it into his jaw. Legion falls back over the ropes, feet elevated above the canvas.

Dollar: He’s going over….Legion is going down and Rose is going to Invictus!

Savior is nonplused by Legion’s stubbornness. She now sets the chair in place, rushes across the ring, and then gets a big start towards the weapon she wielded. Off the chair she leaps, going into a big clothesline only to be caught against the chest and stomach. Legion heaves her up above his head, holding her in position for the gorilla press.

Susie: Rose dove right into Legion’s hands! He’s gonna toss her….he’s gonna toss her!

Dollar: Could this be the end of Rose’s rebirth?

The crowd is screeching at the sight of Legion turning to the ropes, on the brink of throwing her over the ropes to the mats. But it doesn’t happen as Savior manages to slide off the palms and come down onto her feet right in front of the Black Crusade member. She then goes airborne, catching the neck of Legion and diving towards the set up chair with a SECOND Black Rose. One that is countered as Legion wedges his hands to her spine, spins around and throws her off the diamond cutter and over the cables…to the FLOOR!

Susie: IIIIIYYYYEEEE!

Dollar: He did it….LEGION just accomplished the inconceivable!

The whole building shakes in reaction to Legion’s counter that has just won him the biggest match of his career.

Dollar: Legion is going to Invictus.

Susie: MASSIVE!

Legion rests on his knees sucking up precious oxygen into his deflated lungs. Sweat streams down the giant’s battered and bruised body. But all the black and blue blemishes, all the lacerations, all the injured muscles and broken bones, were worth it….because here he kneels on the top of the heap….surviving and moving onto challenge for the World Title in the main event of Invictus.

Dollar: What a battle Legion just endured….

Susie: And there he is…the winner of the 2014 Rumble.

Confetti starts to fall from the rafters as explosions rock the scaffolds and turnbuckles. Legion kneels amongst it all, head lowered in contemplative posture. He finally reaches his feet, struggling to get up but finding the strength to do so in order to commemorate this moment.

Leeland Gaunt then comes sliding into the ring to help celebrate this unfathomable victory for the N.H.B Champion. With microphone in hand he approaches the exhausted Legion and pats him on the shoulder.

Mr. Gaunt: Close to six months ago, Legion and I stood here in this very ring over a pile of broken bodies, promising to unleash upon this company its greatest fears….

Gaunt’s eyes slowly transition from Legion, to Taylor Chase on the stage, holding her World Title close to her chest.

Mr. Gaunt: And now, here we stand again upon a heap of mangled bodies and shattered dreams, granted the opportunity to fulfill our CRUSADE. .

Taylor smirks and shakes her head.

Mr. Gaunt: At Invictus, fears will be faced as a NEW champion is crowned!

Suddenly there is static, and the confetti falling from the rafters turns to blood….blood enhanced by the transformation of the ring lights to an eerie red hue. Even with blood showering the ring, Taylor looks on undaunted, raising the World Title high above her head.

Dollar: The unflinching World Champion, the unbreakable challenger….the match is set, the venue is selected…..Taylor Chase versus Legion….Invictus….World Title on the line.

The fans are already in suspense as the time now begins to tick down to the battle between World Champion Taylor Chase and challenger, Legion. One stands on the stage holding the title high, while the other, kneels in the ring being drenched in wave upon wave of blood.

riot9

In a flash we get a brief look at the IWC emblem while a number of IWC combatants appear in the background, past, present and perhaps future. Running the gamut from Daemon Frost, Chapel, Nathan Creed, to Johnny Kingdom, Robin Brooks, Silencer, before wrapping up with Frankie Paradise, Taylor Chase, Kathryn Pearson & Yvonne Knight, and an eerie red hue surrounding Legion.

The usual pre-show video montage featuring a compilation of chaotic images interspersed amongst profile shots of various IWC combatants is substituted. Why? Because the image of a table is far more captivating…right…..RIGHT?

Well…Frankie Paradise…..acting Advisor to the President makes it captivating….or at least he would if he’d stop whoring all attention.

Frankie Paradise: The Year of the Frankie is at last upon us!

Is it too late for the IWC to go back on hiatus? Please….pretty please?

Frankie: There can be no better way for the IWC to make its return than by seeing the Frankie in the middle of the ring….

Yep…that’s just where Paradise is standing….right in the thick of things….and directly between the camera and the table positioned behind him. A table arranged for a contract signing.

Frankie: Talk about the IWC getting off…..yep….here in 2014. Oh….

The rose tinted shades of his glasses are pulled back as he spots the table and the manila folders positioned on top of it.

Frankie: Plus we have a contract signing….

He steps around with arm extended to the table, the document, and the microphones. Indeed….everything is set and now all Paradise has to do is butter it up….though he’s far more accustomed to lubricating himself.

Frankie: A signing that I personally put together after having seen all the chaos and all the twitter banter between two ladies out to maim one another. And yeah, you best believe the Frankie totes follows Alana Starr on twitter, still waiting for her to post pics on Sexy Saturdays….But what I do with a box of Kleenexes and my internet access is my own business….What I’m about to do now is YOUR business, and most importantly, IWC business.

Attention deviates from the table and Frankie’s over inflated sense of self-worth, to the ramp.

Frankie: Brittany Lohan….Alana Starr….the two of you issued a challenge over Twitter…a challenge for a full on bitch fit at Last Stand….so let’s see it make if official.

Attention deviates from the destructive Lohan and the spunky Starr….to the contract on the table.

Frankie: Right here I have a contract that was drawn up by Brittany Lohan and Mary Mallory, one that finally gives Starr that match she’s been on her knees…..mmmm….begging for since she was ‘medically cleared’ to wrestle.

If you were wondering, there were ‘air quotes’ employed. As if you already didn’t hate Paradise enough.

Frankie: If Lohan and Starr want their one on one match at Last Stand, then get your fine asses out here and sign this contract….But I warn you….since the Frankie is the embodiment of peace….harmony and stability….I’m not about to tolerate any physicality between you two. You’re out here to sign a contract…..not to tear one another’s clothes off…..you can do that later for my viewing pleasure. So God help either of you if you decide to so much as sneeze in one another’s direction.

Frankie steps back from the table and allows the ladies a moment….but only just a moment of HIS spotlight….’Breaking Benjamin’ leads to an eruption from the crowd….mostly of the heated variety Very few can forgive or forget the path of destruction that Brittany Lohan carved through the IWC landscape since her debut back at IWC Awakening, and all the gruesome actions that have followed since. A slithering Lohan moves to the stage but is not flanked by either of her associates this evening, be it mentor or protégé.

Johnny Dollar: We are live from the Manhattan Center for the first edition of Riot here in 2014, and we’re starting off with one of the hottest issues currently ongoing here in the IWC. Brittany Lohan on her way to the ring in order to sign a contract….

Susie Moore: I hope it’s not to lease a television….I hate payment plans…and I hate to think of anyone who would try to repossess one of Lohan’s belongings.

Dollar: Susie….this is actually a contract for a WRESTLING match….one that she’s repossessed from Alana Starr on a few occasions thus far….ever since she gave Alana a career threatening injury in GDW.

Susie Speaking of career jeopardizing injuries….we would like to take a moment….

Dollar: WE?

Susie:….to let the IWC fandom know that Johnny and I have been cleared to return to the Manhattan Center.

A brief cut to the cervical collar wearing Johnny Dollar and Susie Moore sporting a ‘Hello Kitty’ themed bandage…the injured pair seated behind the announce table at ringside.

Dollar: Yep…we’re well on the road to recovery….but we’ve still got a way to gos….Not Alana though, she’s been waiting for this match with Lohan for ages….and now it’s about to FINALLY be made official when she and Brittany step into that ring to sign the dotted the line.

It doesn’t take long for Brittany to find herself seated behind a table just like Dollar and Susie….but instead of focusing her menacing blue eyes on any action…they’re locked upon the contract stationed in her palms.

Frankie: Alright, cut that music….

His finger slices his throat.

Frankie: Thank you for joining me tonight, Brittany.

Lohan: Let’s just get this over with.

Brittany makes full use of the microphone left on the table and the chair that she employs to sway from one side to the other. She looks to be enjoying herself much in the vein of a cat playing with a mouse.

Frankie: Fine….but let me remind you, Lohan, that there is to be NO physicality…..

Lohan: Are you deluding yourself? When in the history of wrestling has a contract signing NOT ended in violence? I think you’re asking a tad too much.

Frankie: Just try to contain your baser impulses.

Lohan: Although you’re hardly one to lecture about impulse control…I really hope that bulge in your pants is your wallet…..I’ll be good and mind my manners. It’s Alana you need to be concerned with. She seems to be incapable of controlling her anger.

Frankie makes a tentative glance towards his pants before turning attention away from his crotch to the stage.

Frankie: Speaking of women who make me trousers twinge….Alana Starr…get out here so we can finish this signing and I can give you what you really wanted for Christmas.

“Born 2 Run” by 7Lions plays throughout the arena….

Enthusiastic….no-no.

Energetic…Nah’.

Pumped…Still not good enough.

CRAZED….that’s getting closer

Pandemonium unleashed at the sight of Alana Starr making her way through the curtains, to the stage, down the ramp and straight into the ring. Although she’s still relatively new to the IWC landscape, the crowd clearly believes she’s made an impression….one deserving of their hype. The only thing that halts Alana and her pursuit of vengeance is the sight of a familiar individual seated at ringside…Andre Jordan….former GDW star and good friend of the Starr Chylde. They exchange a wink and a nod.

Dollar: Alana all business.

Susie Then where is her tie?

Dollar: Pardon?

Susie: She can’t be all business without a tie.

Dollar: This match is huge for her. We thought we were going to see Alana get her hands on Lohan at the End of the Year Special…but that didn’t work out as we had all expected. At last there will be no force that can compel these two to stay away from one another…because the contract will be signed and they will fight at Last Stand.

Susie: This moment so huge….tie or no tie…that even Alana’s besties are here to see her sign the contract.

Dollar: Indeed…Andre Jordan is in attendance this evening….He has a very vested interest in the outcome of this contract signing.

Lohan doesn’t even look up from the contract even when Alana is taking a seat across from her….The two are only separated by a few inches of wood…which is presently what Frankie might have in his pants. And although Lohan might not greet Alana with her eyes….Starr cannot nor will not risk taking her attention off Brittany.

Frankie: Thank you for cooperating, Alana.

Alana: Not like I have a choice, considering this is the only way to ensure that Lohan doesn’t weasel her way out of another match against me.

Lohan: More revisionist history from Alana….why am I not surprised by this?

Alana: Revisionist history?

Lohan: First you masquerade yourself as some type of po’ wittle gurl…a hapless victim maliciously targeted without cause by the ‘evil’ Blue Eyed Devil. And now you’re sitting there continuing to lie to these people and to yourself by refusing to acknowledge your lingering injuries. It was those injuries that kept you out of that match at the End of the Year Special, Starr Chylde…And who knows what might have happened to you if I hadn’t brought said injuries to the attention of those with influence….like Frankie here.

For once Paradise doesn’t like being checked out by a woman….considering its not goo-goo eyes focusing on him….it’s a piercing….intimidating Lorena Bobbit type of stare.

Alana: So it is just like Tabitha said….you were part of the set-up.

Frankie: Set-up?

Though he knows not what Tabitha Silverstone had to say to Alana…he does recall the full extent of his participation in railroading her out of an opportunity to get her hands on Lohan’s throat.

Frankie: Fraid not, sweety-britches….I merely took action to preserve the longevity of your career….and believe me, Frankie knows something about longevity.

Somehow…someway….as impossible as it may seem….Frankie manages to make female spectators even MORE uncomfortable.

Frankie: So you can thank me later when the only camera running is the one I have hidden in my wall to capture some of my extracurricular activities.

Alana: Guess I should give more credit to Tabitha….she’s wiser than I thought.

Lohan: Not as wise as you might think….Starr Chylde….Cause if Tabitha was all that smart she wouldn’t be trusting YOU to put me out of commission.

With all the casualness and confidence in the world Lohan leans forward across the table….finger tapping the contract beneath her and smile aggravating the woman before her.

Lohan: We all know what would have happened at the End of the Year Special had I not shined the light of truth upon the extent of your injuries….the same thing that is going to happen to you at Last Stand after you sign this contract….

She picks it up and shows the unsigned dotted line to Alana.

Lohan: I’m not running away from you, Alana, I’m not afraid of the prospect of facing you in this ring. No, I’m actually eager to end this….end you….and move on with my life….See…wittle gurl….while you attach some type of deep….life reaffirming closure to this match….to me, it’s just an unneeded aggravation….an expense of my time I can ill afford. And that’s why I made this challenge to you at Last Stand….to expedite the crushing of a gnat that continues to fly too close to my face. I just want to end that gnat so I can go about my daily business not looking like an idiot swatting at the air around me. I have more important matters to deal with….that do not involve constant irritations from a woman who has failed to accept that she will never have her revenge.

Somehow Lohan inches even closer to Alana without leaving her seat.

Lohan: Starr Chylde….you spend every waking moment thinking about me…You wake up and the first thing that pops into your head…is my face…When you stand over your sink brushing your teeth…you’re looking at the mirror and seeing the scars I inflicted on you….when you go out with family and friends….in the back of your head you’re reliving the pain you felt that night I decided you were worth a moment of my time…and then….when you close your eyes at night….you even dream about me…But they aren’t dreams….Starr Chylde….their nightmares….And yet….

She falls back and sways playfully in the chair.

Lohan: ….I barely give you a moment’s thought. Because you, are absolutely NOTHING to me.

The microphone hits the table and Lohan picks up the contract…flipping through the pages.

Frankie: My oh my…harsh words from our resident psychopath….Now would you be so kind as to TRULY speed things along by signing the contract?

Lohan takes the pen from the outstretched hand of Paradise and affixes her signature on the contract…making sure to add an emphatic punctuation at the end.

Frankie: Okay Alana….you’re turn…anything you want to say….any skin you want to show?

Alana takes both the contract and a moment to rebuttal.

Alana: Brittany….you’re right. I’ve been trying to hide it…but I’ve got to be honest….I AM still injured…..

An audible gasp from the crowd.

Alana: Just not physically……

A sigh of relief.

Alana: You do haunt my thoughts and my dreams. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t remember what you did to me. I’ve tried to repress it. I’ve tried to bury it…but the memories are always there….festering. You scarred me…..MENTALLY…. and those wounds you inflicted won’t heal like my body has. Physical therapy….training….they haven’t aided in my recovery from the psychological trauma. There’s only one thing that will heal me….and it’s the knowledge that I will go from a ‘nothing’ in your mind to being your every waking thought.

She opens the contract and finds the line for her name….

Alana: And when I sign this….I’ll be ensuring that you will not be capable of moving forward….without being haunted….hounded….plagued….by what a ‘nothing’ has done to you And ultimately…..while I have my closure, you won’t. I’ll be healed….and you’ll be the one who’s crippled….in more than one way..

The tip of the pen finds its way to the dotted line and Alana is mere moments away from sealing the fate of she and her nemesis alike.

Tabitha: Halt these proceedings!

The sight of Tabitha Siverstone is as welcomed as a flaming bag of dog feces on your front porch. Yet Tabitha is the one who is here to stomp on what she has deemed to be excrement. It’s not her feet that will get dirty though…considering that she’s flanked by three individuals who have no problem doing Tabitha’s dirty work….Seventeen, Twelve and Twenty-Five….the three most noteworthy members of her endless list of hopeful clients. Their masked faces fail to emote…but Tabitha has no trouble wearing her feelings on her sleeve.

Tabitha: Do not sign that contract, Alana.

The request…which sounds more akin to an order…is ignored by Starr, who begins to sign anyway before Tabitha adjusts her tone.

Tabitha: PLEASE don’t sign….

Starr hesitates….for the moment….though she is growing quite weary of waiting to at last get her hands on the Blue Eyed Devil.

Tabitha: I think your need for closure is blinding you to the fact that your about to sign a contract that was written up by Brittany Lohan and Mary Mallory….two of the most manipulative ladies on the planet.

Alana looks between the pen in her hand and the smirk on Lohan’s face.

Tabitha: Who knows what hidden addendums they’ve added to this contract. You have no idea what you could be signing. So even though you’ve yet to retain my services as your agent, I’m begging you to give me the chance to look this contract over and make sure that everything is kosher. I couldn’t live with myself if I allowed Lohan to destroy another star with so much immense potential. So I’m BEGGING you, Alana….give me the chance to thoroughly look over this contract to ensure that Lohan and Mallory aren’t setting you up.

Alana looks between the dotted line and the dramatic glare on Silverstone’s face.

Alana: I’m sorry Tabitha….I’ve waited too long already.

The signature is about to be put on the contract and ensure that Lohan has no further opportunity to manipulate her way out of a match against Starr. But just as Alana begins to make the first pen-stroke…Seventeen audaciously snatches the contract right off the table.

Tabitha: Alana…I can’t let you do this….You could be risking career suicide.

The contract ends up in Tabitha’s clutches. Not only does Alana rise in anger…but so does Lohan.

Lohan: Give her back the contract and let her sign!

Threatens a woman who will not be backed down by the three masked individuals forming a human shield around Silverstone.

Lohan: We’re all sick of your meddling.

Alana: You have no right to deny me this opportunity, Tabitha….

Tabitha: I’m denying you nothing…I’m actually making sure this match DOES happen…..without any of Lohan’s games. I’m just asking for you to give me a few hours….to really look over this contract on your behalf and make sure that Brittany hasn’t snuck anything in there to once again railroad you.

Alana seems to mull this over….in internal debate mode.

Lohan: She might be willing to give you that chance….but I’m not!

Frankie: Ladies….ladies….can’t we settle this all with a nice little pillow fight?

The answer to that question….an emphatic “NO.” But the answer isn’t pronounced with spoken word….its provided through fying fists. Lohan swings right past the masked individuals, knuckles aimed for Silverstone’s face. Her reflexes take over…..ducking her head just a moment before the fist breaks her jaw….Instantly Seventeen and Twelve jump on Lohan….managing to overcome the Blue Eyed Devil.

Dollar: Lohan trying to get her hands on the woman who has been out to get her since she took Tabitha’s client Sebastian Knight out of action.

Susie: But the gimps from Pulp Fiction are protecting their agent.

A confused Alana stands back and watches as Tabitha scrambles out of the ring and up the ramp with contract in hand…Twenty-Five following closely behind….guarding his meal ticket….though given his girth he can probably afford to skip a few meals. And speaking of mouthfuls….Lohan is about to get more than just a taste of the steel knee brace that Twelve is going to swing into her jaw. Seventeen has taken the liberty of restraining Lohan’s arms behind her back….keeping them pinned and the Blue Eyed Devil defenseless.

Dollar: We saw these potential clients of Silverstone’s try to earn their bones over the past few months….they’ve done this to Hugo and Bash…and tried to do it to Orlando last week….they’re about to end Lohan’s career with that symbolic exposed steel knee brace to her temple.

<font color= pinkSusie: It’s not like Brittany doesn’t have this coming. This is exactly what Lohan and Tay-Tay did to Tabitha’s client, Sebastian Knight.

Dollar: Very true…turn about is fair play.

In spite of her incredible strength, Lohan cannot struggle free from the clutches of Seventeen….realizing that this is the moment his agent has been waiting on….yearning for…the destruction of the Blue Eyed Devil. And it’s one of these eyes that Twelve is about to target with his knee brace. He dashes forward and finds himself on the verge of crushing Lohan’s skull but it’s his own head that rings with pain. A thrust kick nails him directly in the temple….delivered by of all people….Alana Starr.

Dollar; Whare are you doing Alana!?!

Susie: She just knocked out one of the BSM Baddies.

Two things are accomplished by this kick….Twelve being knocked out….and Lohan’s survival ensured. At last Brittany breaks free, driving one of her elbows directly into Seventeen’s jaw. The swift shot is powerful enough to send the masked man spiraling into the ropes and spilling through them. He’s far more fortunate than his compatriot….who took a nasty spill to the mats….while Seventeen lands on his feet. His jaw may be killing him but at least he still has full function of his brain….which allows him the ability to glare at the ring and shout furiously at both Lohan and Alana.

However, neither Brittany nor Starr are concerned with the angry rhetoric of the Tabitha’s scorned client….Wisely they only have eyes for one another….attention never swaying, allowing for no distractions. So Lohan is able to see the sincerity in Starr’s eyes and hear her words resonate louder and deeper than ever before.

Alana: You think after all of this…after all my waiting that I’m going to let someone else end you? Not happening.

Alana shows absolutely no hesitation…no restraint as she steps right up into Brittany’s grill….the two nudging foreheads.

Alana: I’M the only one who is going to finish you..

Lohan: Not in this lifetime.

Alana: I’m reminded of an old saying, perra. Why put off tomorrow what you can accomplish today?

Frankie: Don’t you two do it….don’t you dare! I said no physicality!

Frankie is not used to being ignored….and doesn’t respond to it very well….especially when it means that Starr and Lohan are snubbing their noses at his authority. Forearms fly between both faces….Alana nailing Lohan…Lohan nailing Alana….back and forth….back and forth. The trading of lethal strikes continues with brains being rattled and jaws on the verge of being forcefully wired shut. The brawl intensifies and is on the verge of escalating into full on open warfare that will tear the building to pieces….before security finally shows up. Frankie is beyond livid and is taking it out verbally on the security staff given their slow reaction time. He stomps both of his feet and swings both of his fists into the surface of the table.

Frankie: I will have peace….I will have harmony…get these bitches under control right now!

Security tries to respond to Paradise’s requests but do not have an easy time of it. Their task is complicated because neither Lohan nor Alana are used to being subjugated, and do not respond well to any semblance of authority. If it’s not Silverstone’s clients who feel their wrath, its security. Many of them are subjected to rights and lefts….boots and foreheads….Brittany and Starr doing everything in their power to keep them out of their way and to keep their hands on one another. Eventually the numbers are too overwhelming though, and Starr finds herself being dragged away from Lohan.

An attempt is made by Brittany to get a few cheap shots in on her restrained opponent but finds every one of her limbs restricted by dozens upon dozens of security guards. It’s a long and arduous process but they finally manage to pry Lohan and Starr off of one another….forcing them into opposite corners. Frankie now stands in the center of the ring,,,kicking over the table which once held the contract and knocking down a few chairs that once held Lohan and Starr.

Frankie: There will be harmony..there will be stability you fuckers!

Frankie’s furious phrases are drowned out by the sounds of a chant that Andre Jordan has managed to get started amidst the crowd.

Andre: LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!!

The entire audience joins in….but in spite of unanimous requests by the hundreds crammed into the Manhattan Center, Frankie will not be persuaded.

Frankie: Get these two out of the ring this instant.

Security tries to be unlike Lohan and Starr by complying…but Alana continues to make this task difficult….and Lohan isn’t making it any easier. They may be surrounded by armies of security but they manage to break through like tanks and barrel down upon one another. Fists and forearms fly between their faces with Frankie screeching in the background.

Frankie: Bitches are crazy!

The crowd might be focused on the crazed ladies in the ring….but there’s an equally as crazed mark backstage….Kordelia Price. Much like Lohan and Starr, she can take a lot of punishment too…of the verbal variety…dished out by the Original Prankster…the Mega-Face….the co-holder of the Tag Team Titles….the Porno Lad.

Porno Lad: So I watched your performance last week….

Kordy is quite eager to hear the critique of the only critic whose opinion she values….Hence why she stands so eagerly beneath Porno Lad..who leans with his forearm to the wall…looking down at Kordy’s hopeful eyes and the ham she has on the serving dish in her hands.

Kordy: Did Kordy do good?

Although he’s about to verbally drill her….as opposed to the way he’s drilled her on previous occasions….Lad tries to soften the blow by twirling her hair about his finger.

Porno Lad: I saw a lot of room for improvement.

A tear comes to Kordy’s eye in spite of Porno Lad’s attempts at sugar-coating.

Kordy: But….Kordy thought….Kordy thought Kordy did everything you asked.

Porno Lad: Not well enough, Dear.

Kordy: Kordy gave Bob the ham you baked…

She gestures to the half-eaten ham in her palms, a souvenir she kept for God only knows what reason.

Kordy:…and Kordy even sacrificed any credibility by getting myself pinned lightning fast.

Porno Lad: Yes-yes…..you helped me reinforce every disparaging comment I’ve made about women wrestlers…but you weren’t pinned quick enough….Plus you totally should have found a way to eliminate Mr. Hush, so that his performance and unruliness wouldn’t have reflected so poorly on me as Team Captain.

Kordy: But…Kordy not a mind reader.

Porno Lad: You NEED to be if you want to continue to associate with the greatness that is Porno Lad. Do you want to hold one of these in the future?

He gestures to the Tag Team Title belt wrapped around his waist….which only slightly obscures the sight of his obnoxiously lime green self-promoting t-shirt.

Porno Lad: You’ll never win one of these on your own. Not with your level of talent. You’ll need my influence….you’ll need my guidance….and because you were born without a glorious penis between your legs…you’ll need my help to overcome the handicap of your vagina to one day be a Mega-Face as well…..

Kordy: So you can make Kordy a star?

Porno Lad: As long as you continue to follow my instruction.

The back of his knuckles slide down her cheek.

Porno Lad: Which brings me to tonight, and dealing with that leather pantaloons wearing idiot….who couldn’t lead a fat kid to a Burger King or force him to eat.

Kordy: Tell Kordy what you want, and Kordy will do it.

Porno Lad: You had better, if you want to be part of my Haram. Now I see you already brought along the first implement of Bob’s destruction….I’m sure we can easily convince him to eat the other half of this ham…

Bob: EEEEEEE!

All of the girth of the usually frivolous Bob plows into Porno Lad bum first…sandwiching him between the brick wall and the massive derriere. Kordelia stepped out of the way just in time to avoid being squashed by one of these imposing cheeks. After having suffered much damage thanks to Bob’s glutes…Porno Lad slides down the wall and ends up on his back…where he’s subjected to even greater damage from Bob’s backside. It’s no longer PL’s ribs that suffer….but his chest. He finds it almost impossible to breathe when Bob sits down on his sternum and begins to slap both of the Mega-Face’s cheeks.

Bob: You big mean! Bob can’t drop poopies Bob so mad! Bob so mad cause you big mean!

Slap after slap nails Porno Lad in one cheek after the other….Somehow in between this beat-down…and in between desperate breaths….Porno Lad is capable of speech.

Porno Lad: Bob, stop…please stop! I’m not the one you should be mad at….I’m not the one who poisoned you.

The slapping stops and Bob looks up from the head trapped under his rump to the head watching a few feet away…Kordy backing even up even further.

Kordelia: Wait….

She drops the serving tray holding a ham and then scurries away. Bob stands and nips at Kordy’s heels as he gives pursuit….though said heels are nowhere near as tasty as the ham left lying on the floor…A ham Porno Lad is currently dragging himself towards.

Dollar: Bob attacking Porno Lad and now giving pursuit to Kordelia Price….This is terrifying…the thought of an angry Bob.

Susie: We’ve never seen Mean Bob before….

Dollar: What’s gonna happen when Bob catches up with Price?

Susie: Nothing good.

Porno Lad is scooping the ham back up onto the tray as the show segues to comme….

STATIC

Hooded heads snapped at the neck sway from ropes and dangle through the gallows.

Ba’al: Execution….

From his shadowy haunt of impropriety the Prince of Sin plagues the masses with his pernicious tongue.

Ba’al: For months I’ve stated my case…..

Pancuronium bromide surges through the tubes leading into the veins of the convicted…..the loved ones of his victim watching through a thin patrician of glass.

Ba’al:….and I’ve gathered my evidence….

Bullets tear through the body of the hooded gentleman and ultimately meet with the brick wall behind his back. The body goes limp and to the dirt beneath the feet of the firing squad.

Ba’al: My prima facie burden has been met and now that a jury has been convened….

From the shadows materializes said ‘jury,’ consisting of Rachel Foxx….Lady Liberty…..and Jaina Frost….Kieren’s twisted sister….The two take residency on opposite arms of the antiquated throne Ba’al has sunken into.

Ba’al: The trial may commence.

Light flickers from the bladed edge of a guillotine. It descends towards and presumably cleaves the head from the guilty.

Foxx: A verdict shall be rendered.

Gas seeps into the chamber and ultimately surrounds its orange jump-suit wearing target.

Jaina: And a sentence will be handed down.

The thought seems to ‘thrill’ the Prince of Sin…evident not by his melancholy, but by the extension of his fingers to Rachel’s triceps….caressing them via his bladed ring.

Ba’al: Shall we call our first witness?

Jaina: I believe you meant….witnesses?

Foxx: The prosecution calls….the Blacklist.

All focus shifts from the trio seated on the throne to the trinity occupying the makeshift witness stand. Mika Kozov, Lukas Montgomery and Aaron Harrison prepare to be questioned as they help decide the fate of the Independent Wresting Cartel.

It’s temper tantrum time….Frankie throwing the mother of all hissy fits. His leather jacket is flung to the floor of the corridor he paces within….and his rose tinted shades are torn from his eyes when Mark Comeau comes into view.

Comeau: Hey The Frankie….Can I get a word with you….

Frankie: Shut it SLUT!

Comeau is tight lipped.

Frankie: I’m in a mood.

Comeau: Clearly.

Frankie: Does nobody around here believe in peace and harmony? All I’m trying to do is create an atmosphere of stability that the Board of Directors has been begging for since the IWC opened its doors….And Baldlando Smooth….(he runs his hand over his scalp)….as well as those two hussies….(hand moves from head and points in the general vicinity of the ring)…have done everything to undermine my mission..

Now his hand slithers down his face and drops off his elongated jaw.

Frankie: I have HUGE plans for the IWC in 2014….such as blockbuster signings to expand this roster…..and I’m not about let individuals like Borelando or the Big Bust Devil jeopardize what I’m trying to accomplish here.

Comeau: Fair enough.

Frankie: So tonight…The Frankie is about to flex his massive muscles…..and put down his huge foot….by announcing that Alana and Lohan are going to face serious repercussions for flagrantly disobeying my edict. And their punishment is going to be the two of them teaming together against Silverstone International right here on Riot! If Alana wants that contract, she has to beat those masked morons and get along with Brittany in the process. And there’s even more ‘if’s’….because if Alana and Lohan CANT get along….if they so much as sneeze in one another’s directions when that bell rings for that tag match, they will be suspended indefinitely.

Comeau: Okie dokie….Those two really seemed to have gotten under your skin…..They’ve got you agitated….And I know just the cure for agitation.

Frankie: What?

Comeau reveals the fanny pack hidden under his shirt…..unzipping it to dig through the medicine cabinet strapped to his stomach.

Comeau: Let’s see….let’s see….Cymbalta…..Phentermine….Lunesta….Valium.. AH, here we go….Ketamine….

Several pills are removed from the bottle and supplied to an unreceptive Frankie.

Comeau: Those should fix you up nicely.

Frankie: Oh…well…..thanks.

Comeau: You’re welcome…I aim to please my coworkers…I gave a few of those to Porno Lad a couple weeks ago…..he said they worked wonders! And that little imp fella….

Frankie: Desmond Drake?

Comeau: Yeah….I gave him some Bromo-DragonFLY a couple months ago….SO if you ever need some black-market meds, I’m you’re go to guy.

Now that he fees they’ve bonded over prescription meds, Mark feels comfortable enough to slap Frankie on the shoulder and keep on walking. Paradise is left standing with a puzzled expression and eyes twisted to the Ketamine in his palm.

A hodgepodge of clips featuring Taylor Chase and Orlando Cruze making smoochies are dispersed through some very cheesy romantic music. We see the two celebrating Chase’s World Title victory before cutting to Tay seated across Orlando’s lap, hands interlocked behind his neck. We see them in a restaurant sharing a laugh, and at a Halloween party where Chase is dressed as Jacky O’ and Lando is bedecked in a Fred Flinestone costume.

Dollar: Well….looks like we just found out what Bob was dosed with at the End of the Year Special….and what Jackson Adams was drugged with a few months ago.

Susie: Mark is so helpful….he’s been slipping me Rophynol for weeks to help with my headaches.

Dollar: You realize that Rophynol is a date rape drug right?

Susie: Hmmm….might explain why I’ve lost so many pairs of panties lately.

Dollar: Plus we’ve just found out that Alana Starr and Brittany Lohan will be teaming together tonight to take on Silverstone International.

Susie: Yeah, that’s not gonna work well.

Dollar: There’s no way that Lohan and Starr can get along.

Susie: But two people who have no trouble getting along are Orlando Cruze and Taylor Chase….

Dollar: Yep, we’re proud to announce that the two have just been engaged. They dropped the bombshell over Twitter and the date has already been set.

Susie: February 15th will mark a sacred occasion for the Scarlet Socialite and the Icon.

Kordy: NO! LEAVE KORDY ALONE!

An uproarious reaction not only for the sight of Bob….but Bob giving a good ole fashion wiggy twiggling to a trapped Kordelia Price. He drags her through the curtains tucked under his arm and subjecting her head to the most heinous of all noogies.

Dollar: Bob has finally caught up with Kordelia…and now he’s got her in that dreaded wiggy twiggle…..Did those words really just come out of my mouth?

Susie: Yes….but I really wish they were coming out of mine. One person I don’t envy though is Kordy….she’s getting the worse noogie EVAH!

Dollar: One justly deserved by a vengeful Bob.

Kordy is still fighting to free her head from the clutches of the overweight Bobster but cannot avail herself from this predicament. She’s dragged right along to the ring until Bob breaks the noogie of his own accord and rolls her into the ring. The angry Bob goes to follow…scaling to the apron and huffing and puffing in the process….both from exhaustion and anger.

Dollar: Bob is about to get some retribution on Kordy.

Susie: This is terrifying….Like I said earlier, we’ve never seen an angry Bob before.

Just as Bob is about to bludgeon the beautiful Kordelia through the use of his massive bum….

Porno Lad: Bob….hold up Buddy…..

With microphone in one hand and a ham in the other, Porno Lad dashes down the ramp only to ultimately stop below Bob.

Susie: And there’s Porno Lad…with that evil ham.

Dollar: The odds are turning out of Bob’s favor.

Though Porno Lad and Price conceivably could overwhelm Bob….that doesn’t seem to be the intent of the Original Prankster…..who uses words instead of fists.

Porno Lad: Take a minute and be rational for once, Bob.

The big man stops and looks down from the apron to the man who spews wisdom.

Porno Lad: When I said you should target the individual who was really culpable for poisoning you at the End of the Year Special….obviously I wasn’t talking about Kordelia.

A bead of sweat is swiped from the brow of the lovely young wrestler.

Porno Lad: I was talking about this….

The ham is raised aloft.

Porno Lad: It was the ham that got you sick….not me…and not Kordelia. And it’s the ham that deserves your wrath.

All the fire is gone from Bob’s eyes…and his red skin transforms into a bright shade of white.

Bob: Et tu, Hame?

For a moment Bob is debilitated by this betrayal, but then he gives over to his wrath. The ham is snatched from the serving tray and tossed into the ring.

BOB VS HAM

Referee Stuart Wright slides into the ring, arriving with the presumption that he would officiate Bob versus Porno Lad, but instead he’s here to ref a match between a man in leathery pantaloons and a ham. Bob leaps into the air and comes crashing down on the ham with his rear-end before subjecting it to the Slappa Slappa.

Dollar: In most companies it might be weird to see Bob versus a Ham….but this is the IWC….where we once had a Ladder holding the Cartel Championship….so yeah…it’s pretty commonplace around here.

Susie: Commonplace but AWESOME! This might be a match of the year in the making.

Porno Lad has led Kordelia out of the ring and athough she wants to scurry to the backstage area, her mentor is not letting that happen. The two remaining fixed at ringside, watching as Bob slaps the ham over and over again….all the while unleashing a string of Bobscenities,

Bob: How dare ye do to this Bob. Bob and Ham were friends….Bob and Ham run down beach hand in ham together. Evil ham goes squishee now!

Bob ascends the nearest turnbuckle and then delivers a vader bomb onto the ham…squashing it to the point where it’s as flat as a pancake. He then unleashes the dreaded rolls, going over and over the ham, leaving grease over his stomach and chest.

Dollar: Bob absolutely decimating the ham! Am I actually calling this match?

Susie: This is gruesome…The ref might want to stop this match on the basis of the Ham loosing so much grease.

Dollar: I’m sure medics at ringside have some bandages and a juice infuser handy.

Susie: That Ham had better consider submitting.

The rolling ends as Bob traverses the canvas and ascends the turnbuckle, reaching the middle rope. Without mercy….without compassion….Mean Bob drops all his girth down rear-end first into the ham ia a banzai drop.

Susie: Stop this Bob….stop this….it’s gone too far…..You’re gonna kill that ham.

Dollar: This is definitely not as PG as Johnny D.

When Bob reaches his feet ham chunks come tumbling out of his crack….and although there is nothing left of Bob’s favorite feast…he begins to scale the turnbuckle once more.

Porno Lad: Watch this, Doll.

Porno Lad tries to whisper but seems to have less control of his tone than Al Todd-Meriwether.

Porno Lad: This is how a Mega-Face operates.

Towards the ring scrambles the co-holder of the Tag Team Titles…

Porno Lad: PORNO LAD TO THE RESCUE!!

Into the ring he slides to presumably look valiant in coming to the aid of a beaten down ham. Bob turns just as Porno Lad comes racing towards him and then heaves his gargantuan rump skyward. The posterior nails Porno Lad with enough force to send him flying half way across the ring. He crumbles like wadded up tissue into a toilet, and now Bob prepares for the flush.

Dollar: Porno Lad tried to sneak attack Bob….

Susie: Sneak attack? He was coming to the Ham’s rescue.

Dollar: He’s the one who put the Ham in jeopardy in the first place. Why am I talking so much about a damned ham? What we should really be talking about is Porno Lad’s fall from grace. This guy sold me on a false bill of goods. He had me believing he was a just and noble guy, and yet now we see he’s nothing but a cowardly….ego-maniacal politician.

Susie: The type of politician that wears a monocle? Because that would be awesome.

BOB VS PORNO LAD

What’s awesome is Bob’s bum going airborne as he tries to come down with chest collapsing force against Porno Lad’s chest. Just before his sternum can be caved in…Porno Lad saves his pectoralis muscles by rolling out of the way. Bob hits the canvas instead and reaches for his testicles….which seem to have gotten stuck under his rump in the process. Porno Lad acts quickly, rushing in and delivering a big boot to Bob’s face, knocking him to his back. He then grabs his leg and rolls Bob to his stomach before dropping over his back and applying the STF.

Susie: Oh me….Porno Lad is gonna make Bob tap out!

Dollar Why could I not see him for the spotlight mongering whore he is? I can’t believe this guy played me like he did everyone else.

An aggravated Porno Lad rears back on the jaw…almost ripping Bob’s multi-colored wiggy right from his oversized head. However, the flatulent one will not submit, instead he drags himself along into the ropes with Porno Lad loaded on his back….still valiantly fighting to force a submission. Porno Lad rears back again and the wig does come off this time, revealing a long head of red hair that drops all the way down to the small of Bob’s back.

All of a sudden Bob’s face transforms….going from happy go lucky….to almost as red as his hair.

Susie: I don’t like that look in Bob’s eyes.

Dollar: Where did all that red hair come from?

Porno Lad rolls across the canvas with the wig in his hand, staring at it for a moment before he utilizes the afro to blow his nose. He then stands up and before he can utilize the hair to wipe his taint….Bob….no…this isn’t Bob….this is the dreaded manifestation of Bob’s inner-most and supressed rage….this is Robert, steps in and delivers a big thrust kick right to Porno Lad’s jaw. The shot sends Land spiraling into the turnbuckle and falling against it….his eyes and mouth dropping open.

Robert: Time for your suffrage to begin you misguided Jacksnipe.

Robert rushes across the ring and then turns himself into a bowling ball, flipping forward and crashing upside down right into the stomach and chest of Porno Lad. The Original Prankster falls to his backside looking stunned by this offensive fury from a much different opponent than he was anticipating this evening.

Susie: This is not the Bob that I know and love.

Dollar: He’s actually kinda scaring me.

Robert gives no rest to the weary Porno Lad, who crawls in and opens his mouth wide, beginning to gnaw on the bridge of his opponent’s nose and forehead.

Dollar: Bob is eating Porno Lad!

Susie: That sounded wrong on so many levels.

Porno Lad manages to push Robert off and then tries to put some distance between himself and his enormous opponent. Robert gets to his feet and comes rushing in behind him, only to have Porno Lad turn in time to drop toe hold his opponent. Robert collapses to the canvas and Porno Lad applies a STF once again, rearing back on the jaw with all his strength.

Dollar; Now Porno Lad is fighting to evade this monster that he’s created.

Susie: What has Porno Lad done to our precious loveable Bob?

Dollar: He’s transformed him into an absolute killer.

It takes an incredible struggle and valiant effort on Bob’s….Robert’s part, but he finally reaches the ropes, wrapping a hand around the bottom cable. When Wright requests that he break the hold Porno Lad automatically makes the wrong assumption.

Porno Lad: Another easy ‘W’ for the Mega-Face!

His arms are no longer employed to force a submission, but instead shoot over his head, in full celebration. The victory gesticulations don’t even end when Wright informs Porno Lad that Robert reached the ropes.

Porno Lad: Hahahaha….are you taking something? Is your glaucoma flaring up? Obviously he submitted. No one escapes the Lad Lock…..No one.

Not only does Porno Lad celebrate in spite of NOT earning the submission, but is now on the verge of vacating the ring. He drops to the outside and starts up the ramp in spite of Kordy gesturing to the official.

Kordy: But he’s saying the match isn’t over.

Porno Lad: Ignore him. Clearly I’ve bested that buffoon. Now let’s go celebrate Porno Lad style.

The two commence up the ramp even with the referee threatening to count them out. In the process of Porno Lad’s departure Robert gets to his knees, teeth mashing and face contracted into an expression of sheer rage. That is until his eyes turn and glare at the crumpled ham on the canvas.

Bob: What has Bob done?

The wiggy is snatched off the canvas and placed back over the long web of red hair. Robert becoming much more docile and morose. Bob is back….but it’s a depressed Bob….one that laments the destruction of his precious ham. He crawls towards the massacred ham and remorsefully scoops it up into his arms.

Bob: Can Ham ever forgive Bob?

The teary eyed Bob is too focused on trying to piece the ham back together to notice that the official has reached a count of ten. The bell is then signaled for, drawing this crazed confrontation to a conclusion on a count-out. Bob is just as clueless to the disqualification as he is the fact that he transformed into the harbinger of horrors known as Robert

Dollar: Yay! What a way to kick off 2014….with a count out loss for Porno Lad.

Susie: And Bob’s destruction of Ham. But seriously, what the hell happened when that wiggy came off?

Dollar: He transformed into an absolute psychopath.

Porno Lad continues to celebrate while Kordy tries to talk some sense into him. All the while Bob continues to pine over the annihilation of ham.

Dollar: This guy totally had me believing he wanted to be the savior of this company….and it was all just a bold faced lie.

Susie: Come on now….Ham isn’t that bad.

Dollar: I WAS TALKING ABOUT PORNO LAD!

Kordy is still trying to talk sense into Porno Lad…..to reason with him….but her words are drowned out by the egotistical ravings of the Mega-Face.

Porno Lad: Did you see how effortless that was? I managed to score a win and look like Superman in the process. I’m indestructible….absolutely INDESTRUCTI….

A superkick to the jaw thwarts that theory. Simon Cagero’s leg travels through the curtains and drills Lad right on the button, putting him down to the steel and flat on his ass.

Dollar: Superkick out of nowhere!

Susie: Simon almost knocked Porno Lads perm right off his head. God help him if he even messed one of Porno Lad’s hairs.

The reception is downright deafening at the sight of a ‘trench-coat’ sporting Cagero, who has knocked Porno Lad out and sent Kordelia scrambling as far away as she can. Simon then stoops down over the laid out Porno Lad, delivering a couple slaps to the cheek of the unconscious Mega-Face.

Simon: Did you think there wouldn’t be repercussions for your doucheness? For costing me the number one contendership?

Simon almost t-bags Porno Lad’s face as he crouches over him

Simon: The douche-bags are about to pay around here, Porno Lad….starting with you.

One more slap to the cheek is delivered to emphasize Simon’s point.

Dollar: Cagero making a statement to Porno Lad, laying him out with the superkick for costing him the number one contendership at the End of the Year Special. But seriously, the guy deserves far worse than that after the way he shanghaied all of us.

Now that Porno Lad has been felled by Cagero, and a statement has been delivered, he turns and marches on through the curtains, leaving the Prankster unconscious, Kordy screeching and Bob sobbing over the ham he massacred.

The fans just took in a lot but they still have the energy to react to Gary Matt. He paces in the locker-room looking over a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol. A few of the little white pills are dispensed into his palm and are about to find their way down his gullet before his focus shifts from the medicine to the doorway.

Tay-Tay: Gary.

Somehow the crowd is able to trump their previous reaction…rejoicing with an even louder outburst at the sight of World Heavyweight Champion Taylor Chase. She steps towards Gary, who quickly hides the pills behind his back and conjures a reassuring smile.

Gary: Hey….What brings you to the lowly locker-room of Gary Matt? Slumming it?

Tay-Tay: I’m here to talk, Babe.

The slight stroking of his bicep creates so many perplexing and awkward feelings within Gary.

Gary: About our anniversary? You know it passed back in December right? And I didn’t even get a card.

Tay-Tay: I just wanted to make sure you were okay, is all.

Gary: Okay?

His smile broadens and his squeeze on the pills tightens.

Gary: I’m just fine. Still having the occasional migraines but haven’t had any bouts of dizziness or….

Tay-Tay: That’s good to know…but I actually wasn’t talking about your concussion.

Gary: Am I missing something here?

Tay-Tay: I wanted to make sure….

Though not accustomed to stammering or finding her words difficult to produce, Gary seems to have this strange effect on the World Heavyweight Champion.

Tay-Tay:…you were okay after Orlando and I announced our engagement.

There is no change in Gary’s reaction whatsoever….remaining as stoic as a Gollum.

Gary: Why wouldn’t I be?

The strands of her hair are pushed back away from her face so Gary can have an unobstructed view of her face.

Tay-Tay: I know you still have certain feelings….

Gary: Taylor…relax.

Now it’s his embrace that stirs awkward feeings for the Word Champion….even if it is just through a mere patting of her shoulder.

Gary: You don’t have to worry about me….I’ll be fine. Actually better than fine. I’m happy!

The hand is removed from her shoulder so he can sweep his arms out to his sides.

Gary: I’m ecstatic that you’ve found love.

His tone is a bit more subdued as his free palm takes the World Champion’s knuckles

Gary: Really Taylor, I’m happy that YOU’RE happy. It’s only ever been your happiness that I was concerned with.

Tay-Tay: Great.

She slowly pulls away, prying her fingers out of Gary’s grip.

Tay-Tay: I’m glad we’re all copasetic. And ummmm….yeah….want to wish you luck too….against the End Effect tonight. Just make sure you watch your….

Gary: No….YOU’RE the one who needs to have eyes in the back of their head.

Tay-Tay: Yeah?

Gary: Not only does this put a huge target on your back….

A tap is given the giant gold plate of her World Heavyweight Championship.

Gary: But now you’ve got the Blacklist haunting your every step.

Tay-Tay: I’ll deal.

Gary: You really shouldn’t be so flippant. You, above everyone else, knows what Mika is capable of. And now that Harrison and Lukas are no longer restrained by Mika’s loyalty to you, there’s no telling what might happen tonight.

Tay-Tay: Did you not hear me, Gar-Bear, I said I’ll DEAL. Kathryn, Yvonne and I….we’ll handle the Blacklist tonight, once and for all. So don’t fret…you’ll give yourself crows-feet.

Gary: Sorry….but when it comes to you, I just can’t help being a little overprotective.

Tay-Tay: Well stop it. Unity and I are more than capable of dealing with the Blacklist. And ya know what? I’m so confident than I can handle the ‘trinity’….

Cue eye roll.

Tay-Tay:….that I’m gonna throw a little more on my plate tonight.

Gary: Oh?

Tay-Tay: Since calling Mika out at the End of the Year Special worked so wonderfully….

And yet another rolling of the eyes.

Tay-Tay: I think I’m going to call someone else out to the ring for closure….Frankie Paradise.

Gary: Frankie?

Tay-Tay: YUP.

Gary: Alright, though I have my misgivings I know better than to try and talk you out of this.

Somehow he manages to slip his hand around Taylor’s knuckles again….yearning for some skin to skin contact.

Gary: Just try to play it safe tonight.

Tay-Tay: You know me, Gar-Bear…..

She pulls back….AGAIN….and adjusts the Title.

Tay-Tay: I always keep my head above water.

Gary: Of course….

His smile widens.

Gary:…you wouldn’t want to get your hair wet.

Tay-Tay: Exactly.

Now that it’s been confirmed that there are no hard feelings given the dissolution of their marriage and Taylor’s pending nuptials with Orlando….Chase feels elated….so happy in fact that she leans in and plants one on Gary’s cheek.

Tay-Tay: I’m so glad we can keep being friends. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.

Gary: Ditto.

Tay-Tay: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a busy night ahead of me. Including a little Law & Order drama.

Taylor jaunts from the room and through the door, leaving the smiling Gary behind. His grin never wavers….never falters…never flinches even as he pulls the hand holding the pills out from behind his back. He then opens his palm to reveal that he’s grinded the pills into a powdery residue.

Gary and Taylor have just resolved any lingering doubt about their friendship but there’s still a giant question mark looming when it comes to the relationship between Chase and the woman currently on screen. Brittany Lohan sits Indian style on the floor…eyes closed and head titled back….meditating ….achieving unity between mind…body….and spirit.

Haze: Am I doing it right, Bosslady?

In spite of giving it the ole’ college try, Cassidy Haze is incapable of matching the peaceful aura that Brittany has managed to channel. She’s just too spunky….too energetic….She can’t sit still long enough to find spiritual clarity.

Haze: HELLO! Bosslady! Are you still in there?

Fingers snap in front of Brittany’s face and now Cassidy even goes as far as to lightly pat her on the head.

Haze: I’m bored. Can’t we go find some drama to get into?

Mary: Don’t worry, Cassidy.

Mallory’s shadow is stretched over the still motionless Lohan and the far too hyper Haze.

Mary: Around here, drama manages to find you.

Typhoid Mary stoops to the sides of her Dark Legacy family.

Haze: Maybe you can help, Mother Mary….I’m trying to figure out how to help Brittany with her Alana situation later tonight.

Mary: I’d be glad to help, but I’m certain are Blue Eyed Devil already has plans for the Starr Chylde.

Finally Brittany flinches…resulting in a smirk

Mary: What’s of far more pressing concern to Brittany, is what’s to be done regarding the Taylor Chase situation.

Cassidy: Oh….then Bosslady will be happy to know that I have a plan too….on how to handle ANOTHER of the Chase’s….

Mary: Yes…one you’ll be putting into action momentarily.

Cassidy: But what to do about Taylor…hmmmm….

Brittany: Relax.

Even though she doesn’t open her eyes she still manages to open her mouth.

Brittany: You were right to assume I had this problem with Alana covered…..but where you were wrong, is in your assumption that I didn’t also have a plan in mind for Taylor.

Haze: Oh?

Brittany: By the end of the night, Taylor will be one step closer to a reunion with her TRUE family….

She’s already been mentioned several times this evening, but instead of her name being spoken aloud….it is now written on the door which leads to her private dressing room. The eyes of Simon Cagero are glued to the nameplate reading ‘Taylor Chase’, and privacy is not something he believes in. A long trench-coat and top hat remain draped over a body that hesitates to reach out and knock at the door….

Wait….to knock?

No-no.

That would be implying that Simon is actually seeking permission to enter the room….which we all know is something he respects about as much as privacy. So he pushes the door ajar and steps in….but what he finds within is not the Word Heavyweight Champion….it’s the President. Orlando acknowledges Simon with a brief glance while he carries on with his business, gabbing on his phone.

Orlando: Yeah-yeah, I know you’re not that happy with me, but don’t take it out on Nathan….He deserves another opportunity. The way his termination was handled was just all around bad for business.

He pauses to listen to the response from the Board of Directors.

Orlando: I’m glad to hear you agree. I mean, Nathan is a fixture here in the IWC. He’s a legend. And he deserves a better send off than the one Frankie forced on him. So here’s what….

The phone is snatched from Orlando’s hand and hung up by an impatient Cagero.

Orlando: What the hell?

Simon: Where’s Chase?

Cruze yearns to reach out and rip Cagero’s tongue out of his mouth but the Icon maintains a degree of composure.

Orlando: How is that YOUR business?

Simon: I’m here to make good on that gamble I made at Upping the Ante…ya’ know…..to be her slave for the night.

Orlando: Oh yeah….well she’s obviously not here at the moment. But feel free to hang.

Simon: Way ahead of ya.

The coat falls back to reveal that Simon is wearing only a black vest and a bright red speedo.

Simon: Hopefully she gets here soon…cause the AC is cranked up way too high. Seriously, my nipples could slice through a brick wall.

Sigh.

Orlando: Simon….I think you have the wrong idea about this whole ‘SLAVE’ thing.

He can’t help but let his eyes drift towards Cagero’s crotch.

Orlando: And can you put that thing away? You might put an eye out.

Simon: Sorry, but it’s out there now….for the whole word to enjoy…or just one special woman this evening.

He gyrates his hips to the Icon’s repulsion.

Orlando: Yeeeeaaahh….that’s not gonna happen, Simon. I’m sure Taylor has other plans for you tonight….starting with…I don’t know….maybe cleaning up her dressing room?

A broom is grabbed from the corner and shoved into Simon’s sternum, knocking him back. Cagero glances down at the broom in his hand then back up into Orlando’s face.

Simon: Seriously?

Orlando: Get to it!

Simon: Are you still holding that whole costing you the World Heavyweight Championship thing against me? Let it go, Bro….take a breath….release….and then eat a lot of Too Magnificent brand fiber flakes to purge your irritable bowls.

Orlando: That’s all water under the bridge.

Simon: Awww, you really have grown….No longer wearing your GI Joe onsie under your suit?

Orlando: Only on occasion….

Simon: It takes a big man…or I guess in this case….a bald man…to forgive me after everything I’ve done to you….What with stealing Taylor’s clothes…constantly calling your authority into question….using your toothbrush to scrub the dingleberries from between my ass cheeks.

Orlando: Erm….when did you do that?

Simon: Don’t go changing the subject, Lando.

A big slap on the shoulder.

Simon: Isn’t it great that we all can be buddy-buddy?

Orlando: Yeah….sure.

A prolonged exhale from the Icon, channeling all of his strength into overlooking all the slights Cagero has committed against him.

Simon: Well…I should really get to tidying up. Don’t want Taylor coming back to a messy dressing room, do we?

The cleaning process begins with only partial supervision, Orlando dividing time between smoothing things over with the Board of Directors and maintaining a weary eye on Simon’s activities.

LILLY LYMAN VS. MARIE JONES VS. KORDELIA PRICE

Porno Lad is STILL hogging a few precious moments of screen time, currently propped on his feet by two EMTS. Wisely Kordelia isn’t trying to help in a physical capacity….instead employing a microphone to verbally assist the Face of the Faces. From the center of the ring she barks but no one is particularly concerned about her bite

Kordelia: Take your hands off of him….let him go…Porno Lad doesn’t need help….Not from some lowly peons such as yourself. Now unhand him so he walk out of here and look insanely tough….no…indestructible.

As requested the EMTS unleash the Prankster, who instantly falls to his elbows and knees. An attempt is made to get back to his feet, by himself. A couple of emergency techs try to lend aid but are pushed back…Porno Lad determined to stand up of his own volition.

Dollar: As you can see, Porno Lad still suffering from the superkick he received several minutes ago from Cagero. Must he continue to soak up so much of our time?

Susie: I thought you two were such close friends.

Dollar: After what we’ve seen from him the past few weeks I’d rather be friends with the rear-end of a skunk.

An aggravated Kordelia continues to screech into the microphone, with cats the world over bellowing in response.

Kordy: Don’t worry, Porno Lad, no one is going to remember that sneak attack in a few minutes….Their only going to remember that your awesome….And that your hair is cool….And that everything you said about female wrestlers…actually….that everything coming out of your mouth is 100% fact. Come on…bring out my opponents. Let’s prove it, prove it now! Come on….get a referee out here….let’s go already!

Official Wright was in the process of lending assistance to Porno Lad but gladly pulls away to officiate yet another match….even if said match involves Kordy’s participation. He hurries down the ramp and into the ring…where Kordy is anticipating the arrival of her opponents.

Dollar: Now Kordelia Price showing just how brainwashed she’s been by Porno Lad. I guess she was just as susceptible to his manipulation as I was.

Susie: It’s that head of hair, Johnny D….it’s impossible not to be brainwashed by it.

Dollar: And I guess we’re about to see Kordy wrestle. Take that for what it’s worth.

Susie: This should be amazing. She was eliminated before we could see what she was capable of at the End of the Year Special, now is her opportunity to make up for it.

The anticipation for competition doesn’t wait for long, Lilly Lyman answering the call.

“People like us, we’ve gotta stick together
Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever
Here’s to the damned, to the lost and forgotten
It’s hard to get high when you’re living on the bottom

Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh
We are all misfits living in a world on fire
Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh
Sing it for the people like us, the people like us”

Lilly Lyman steps through the curtains and pauses a moment to take in the sight of a struggling Porno Lad. After a sigh she bolts to the ring.

Susie: Here comes Lil.

Dollar: Who is also looking to make up for a rather disastrous debut at the End of the Year Specvial….She was the first member of Team Chase eliminated after she let her anger get the better of her…attacking her own teammates.

Susie: After she was provoked.

Dollar: Yeah….there was that. I mean, the Blacklist did threaten her with a jar of maggots and Lukas got a bit too touchy feely with her.

Susie: He totally got to first base.

Dollar: Hopefully Lilly is going to knock it out of the park this evening.

As Lilly paces back and forth in front of the entirely too enthused Price….Porno Lad continues to grandstand….well….TRY to stand at least. At last he calls the EMTS in.

Porno Lad: What the heck are you people being paid for….Help me!

The perplexed EMTS assist the Original Prankster to an upright base. The moment they get him on his feet, his hands are employed to push them back.

Porno Lad: Don’t treat me like an invalid….I can do this on my own you condescending jerks.

After straightening his self promoting puke green t-shirt, Porno Lad staggers towards the curtains

“You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

But I never thought I’d live to see it break

It’s getting dark and its all too quiet

And I can’t trust anything now

And its comin’ over you like its all a big mistake”

Thomas Boll: Lady and gentlefolk.

“Holding my breathe, won’t lose you again

Something’s made your eyes go cold”

Thomas Boll:…This “The Phoenix” Marie Jones!!!!!!!!!!

A spotlight shines down at the top of the entrance ramp. Pyro goes off. Then Marie Jones steps through the curtain with a determined look etched across her face. The Tron shows images of her striking at her opponents with her finishing and signature moves as the lyrics of “Haunted” by Taylor Swift begin to flow through the arena.

The minute that the curtains part and Marie steps through them…she wedges a hand to Porno Lad’s cheek and shoves him out of her way. She doesn’t even turn to acknowledge the tumbling Prankster, showing uncanny focus upon the ring and only the ring. She descends upon it, leaving Porno Lad stretched over the stage insisting that the EMTs stop lollygagging and give him a hand.

Dollar: And we have yet another newcomer in our midst. I’m guessing this Marie Jones is one of the talents Frankie Paradise was eluding to earlier, when he said he was bringing in an influx of new wrestlers.

Susie: Let’s see WHY Frankie signed her.

Dollar: I think that’s already evident. Marie Jones has put together quite a career in multiple federations, including GDW.

Susie: Don’t let Nathan Creed, Axl Evermore or Jackson Adams hear you say anything about accomplishments outside of the IWC….They’ll throw a BF about it.

Dollar: Well, it’s still worth noting.

Once Marie is in the ring, Wright can finally call for the bell. The three way immediately gets underway in spite of some attention being cast towards Porno Lad, who has gotten back to his feet on the stage….albeit via help…before pushing away from the EMTs. He stumbles to the backstage area but looses his footing, falling into the curtains and grabbing them to keep from crashing into the ground.

Meanwhile inside of the ring Lilly and Marie are about to dash towards one another and lock up but Kordy leaps between them.

Kordelia: Now-now, ladies….Let’s not give these fans a false impression of what female wrestlers are capable of. Let’s show them the truth…..the truth as spoken by the mighty Porno Lad himself.

Dollar: Oh good heavens no.

The instant this comment is made Kordelia leaps towards Marie and begins to throw a hissy fit. A series of quick slaps are delivered to Marie’s shoulders and the top of her head.

Kordy: Come on….cat-fight….cat-fight….Let’s yanks each other’s hair now.

Marie is the picture of befuddlement. She doesn’t even respond to these multiple….and almost playful slaps that inflict about as much damage as being hit with a wadded up piece of paper. Since Jones won’t indulge her, Kordelia tries to coax a response from Lilly.

Kordy: Let’s grab each other’s hair and thrash around on the canvas….giving the male fans the hope that we’ll have a wardrobe malfunction.

Lilly: Um….how about….NO?

Kordy: But that’s what women wrestlers are supposed to do….according to Porno Lad.

Lilly: Sweetheart….you’ve lost it.

Kordy: Come on….come on….let’s start rolling around….

She turns back to make this request to Marie and receives a huge roundhouse kick to the cheek instead of a hair tug or a roll across the canvas. The shot sends Kordelia twisting towards Lilly, who demonstrates that she didn’t like Kordy’s opinion of what a female professional wrestler should be, via her big step enugari. It drills Kordy to the back of her skull and sends her spiraling in the direction of Marie, who catches her by way of a spinning heel kick to the ribs.

Price grabs her mid-section, doubling over just as Lilly charges in and drives her knee directly into Kordy’s face. The stiff strike knocks her back up to a standing base before finally being taken down by a perfectly timed dropkick by Jones.

Dollar: Marie Jones and Lilly Lyman showing Kordelia Price what real female wrestlers are capable of.

Susie: But didn’t Porno Lad say that woman wrestlers are incapable of anything more than T&A and hair pulls?

Dollar: I think the fact that our World Champion lacks a penis kind of negates that point. Can’t believe Kordelia….who as I understand it was quite the technical wizard in our developmental system is trying to embody Porno Lad’s sexist perception of woman.

Thankfully Kordy has been cleared from the ring by two woman who took none too kindly to her slanders. Now they’re free to turn their attention on one another and put on a display of what their truly capable of. They step in, lock up and Marie instantly pulls Lilly over into the fireman’s carry takedown transitioned into an overhead wrist lock.

But Lilly isn’t about to stay grounded for very long…and will not be traumatized by this submission hold. She slowly ascends to her feet and then slips back and around Jones’ body, ending up behind her. She then spins Marie around by the shoulder into the neck cravat. She twists and wrenches the neck with all the strength her upper body can muster.

But much like Lilly, Marie won’t remain fixed in this state of despair for too long. She avails herself of any further suffrage by measure of wedging a foot to the crease of Lilly’s knee and push down until she is forced to break the cravat. Lyman falls to both knees and now finds her head trapped in a rear-naked choke.

Dollar: Now see…this is wres….ya know….why do I even have to justify or feel the need to legitimize the talent of these ladies? They’ve already proven a thousand times over what they can do….and have shattered glass ceilings the world over. I can’t believe there are still pig-headed sexist like Porno Lad in this industry.

Susie: Oh…you’re just still upset with him cause he made you look silly.

Dollar: No. I’m upset with him cause he keeps making himself look like an ass in spite of the fact that I’ve thrown my support behind him in the past. I even went through a friggin table for the man, and I’m still wearing the neck collar as a result.

Though Lad is gone, his influence continues to plague this match, evident as Koirdy scrambles into the ring and forcefully drags Jones away from Lyman….by way of giving her hair a good and harsh yanking.

Kordy: Let go of her and start showing some boob bitch!

Kordy grabs Marie’s shirt and attempts to tear it so she shows off a bit more cleavage but Jones isn’t about to be forced into sex appeal. She shoves aside the arms and then delivers open hand palm thrusts to both of Kordelia’s ears, rattling her brain….as if it wasn’t already shaken enough. She then throws a big time forearm directly across her jaw….causing teeth to reverberate and almost pop lose. Kordy checks her lips….which have been swollen by the blow…but in the process she exposes her ribs to a big knee that once again doubles her over.

Jones then goes rushing into the ropes to build momentum behind a move that will no doubt END Kordelia….But before she can get back to Kordy….Lilly cuts her off with a clothesline that knocks them both down to the canvas, Marie ending up on her back and Lyman landing on her knees beside her. Instantly Kordelia dashes in, NOT to throw fists or lend aid, but to shout instruction to Lyman.

Kordelia: Okay….now grab her hair and start banging her head against the canvas….Then roll around a little.

When Lyman fails to adhere to this request, Kordy swoops in to give her a physical demonstration.

Kordy: Here, let me show you.

Suddenly her feet are yanked out from under her by Lil, who slips to Kordy’s side and begins to drill her to the face with closed fist after closed fist. Lyman has had enough of Kordeila’s crap….and is on the verge of ending her influence by method of repeated fists to Price’s forehead. She only stops to address Jones, who has reached her feet with the aid of the ropes and is now stumbling into a turnbuckle. This provides an opportunity that Lil cannot pass up. She drags Kordy along to her feet and eventually whips her directly into their common foe. But instead of taking a splash, Marie lifts her knees and jams them right into the inbound face of her opposition.

Kordy goes staggering back just as Lil swoops in beside her…turning lemons into lemonades….by delivering a Russian Leg Sweep. She plants Kordy to the canvas but has absolutely no chance to build moment thanks to the woman who comes flying out of the corner into her OWN lariat. Marie takes Lilly down to the canvas with a clothesline that leaves her kneeing beside her felled opponent

Dollar: Marie getting a little bit of payback for that lariat delivered a few moments ago.

Susie: The action really starting to heat up between these three ladies.

Dollar: Well…two and a half considering that Kordy is determined to wrestle like a swimsuit model turned DIVA.

Speaking of Kordy, she takes advantage of the escalating tensions amongst her opponents, swooping in behind the kneeling Jones and taking her by the hair. She yanks Marie up to her feet and then utilizes the grasp on her bangs to lift her up off of her feet and throw her half way across the ring. The hair whip has sent Jones crashing down onto her face and immediately thereafter, her victimizer seductively tussles her own hair.

Kordy: That’s how it’s done ladies….that’s how it’s done.

She is of course eluding to the sensual gyration of her hips as she does a little twirl in the center of the ring. A twirl that brings her around to a big leaping leg lariat by Lyman. The kick sends Kordelia stumbling back and spilling through the ropes to the exterior of the ring, where her opponents would no doubt like to keep her.

Lyman reaches her feet and shouts through the ropes at the vivacious vixen she laid to waste. However, in the process she exposes her backside to a recovered Jones, who takes full advantage by swooping in and catching her opponent with a school girl.

1

And that’s all she gets, because Lyman rolls right out of the school girl and onto her feet, before immediately catching the kneeling Jones around the head. She applies the neck cravat all over again, getting this match back to square one.

And just like earlier, Jones has a quick counter to free herself from this predicament. She spirals right out of the cravat and puts her back against Lilly’s, dragging her down into the backslide

1

And that’s all she continues to get because Lilly rolls out of the pin and onto her feet, then quickly snatches Marie around the neck, applying yet another cravat. It’s a submission she will not stay in for very long….already shoving herself up to her feet and then managing to reach out and wrap her arms about Lyman’s waist. She drops back and pulls Lil down along with her, the two rolling over and switching positions. Now it’s Jones in the dominant roll, ending up stooped over the knelt Lyman and trying to apply a camel clutch. However, Lilly slips back and through Marie’s legs, standing up behind her, stepping to her side and going yet again for a cravat. This time Jones has had enough shoving the arms away from her neck and stepping behind her opponent, wedging a shoulder square to her lower back.

She shoves Lilly forward and into the very ropes that Kordy is now standing on the opposite side of. Suddenly Kordelia grabs her around the back of the head and drops off the apron, yanking Lyman’s head down into the top rope. The skull snaps back and right into Jones’ clutches. She leaps into the air, catches Lyman around the head and delivers a big reverse neckbreaker. She then rolls over to her feet before scrambling across the ring and delivering a spear through the ropes to Price’s ribs. Kordy had just gotten back to the apron only to find herself tumbling to the mats down below once again.

Marie just as quickly spins from one opponent to the other, dashing into a big running knee strike to the face of the seated Lyman and then transitioning into a lateral press.

1

2

Lyman’s shoulder evades the canvas and keeps her chances at victory alive

Dollar: Jones almost picks up a win in her debut with a nose shattering knee strike.

Susie: They’re bringing the pain now. I think Kordelia’s comments have lit a fire under their asses…which might be bad if they have to pass gas.

Dollar: Erm….let’s hope not.

Marie isn’t happy that her opponent kicked out, but she isn’t about to allow it to derail her momentum….momentum that carries her into a flipping senton right across Lilly’s RAISED KNEES> Lyman gets them up just in time to inflict damage to the lower back, leaving Jones seated at her side and reaching for her inflamed kidneys. Lyman uses her position to her advantage, trapping her arms and then pulling her over into a crucifix pin.

1

And that’s all LYMAN gets for HER efforts, cause Marie kicks out.

Not only does Jones kick out but she drops over to her knees in the process of doing so, dashing to her feet and into a lariat. This time it doesn’t connect thanks to a well timed duck by Lyman, who then spins around into her own clothesline. Marie turns just in time to avoid the move, not just ducking, but taking off into a run at the same time.

Lilly has the exact same idea, rushing into the cables to build momentum. Both ladies ricochet from the ropes and then charge into simultaneous clotheslines that put them both down to the canvas but put the fans up out of their seats.

Susie: These ladies had the same thought.

Dollar; And it led to the two of them taking the plunge.

Susie: And lookie-lookie…..Kordy’s gonna take advantage.

Kordy slides into the ring with a big smile on her face before scrambling into the cover on Lyman.

1

2

The squealing crowd motivates Lilly to get a shoulder up, keeping Kordelia from setting back woman’s wrestling by decades. But Kordy isn’t downtrodden by this kick-out, scrambling across the ring into a lateral press on Marie, hooking both of her legs

1

2

Now its Jones who keeps Kordy from reinforcing Porno Lad’s delusions regarding women and their abilities within a wresting ring.

Dollar: Lyman AND Jones kicking out….thank God.

Susie: Now let the hair yanking commence.

And that’s exactly what Kordy does. She drags both Lyman AND Jones along to their feet and takes them around the necks, delivering a stereo hair-mare. The two ladies flip over and crash to the canvas while Kordy skips back and forth behind them

She then begins to deliver slaps on the backs of her opponents’ heads.

Kordy: Come on little girls….

Kordy stops employing slaps and now utilizes her hip to do damage. A hip check to the side of Lilly’s face sends her rolling across the canvas. She then gives Jones the same treatment, putting her against one of the turnbuckles. Marie ends up sitting herself up against the turnbuckle while Kordy grabs her own wresting tights and hikes them up so she has a wedgie. The fans groan as Kordy begins to twerk while backing up her derriere. The stink face connects, Kordy getting Marie’s face deep in the crack of her bottom.

Kordy: That’s right….bust out the lube now boys.

Just as Kordy continues to use Jones’ face to give herself a colonoscopy….Lyman comes rushing across the ring and leaping high into the air. She delivers a big splash on Price, squishing her against the turnbuckle and driving her backside deeper into Marie’s face in the process. Lilly then backs across the ring just as Marie shoves Kordelia forward, sending her charging directly into a small package.

1

2

In spite of all her comments about the inferiority of female combatants, Kordy still kicks out to keep her chances of victory alive.

Lilly then ascends to her feet and looks up just in time to spot Marie lunging off the middle rope into a lariat. This time Lyman side steps the move and catches Marie by the arm on the way down….dragging her into a fujiwara. She rears back on the triceps and the shoulder, threatening to tear muscle or break the arm from its socket.

Neither happens, because Kordy intervenes by reaching down and gouging Lilly’s eyes. She then grabs her by the hair and gives it a few vicious tugs. Lilly is eventually pulled down face first to the canvas and a kneeling Kordelia rubs her face back and forth across the ring, grinding her flesh against it.

Kordelia: Aaaaaahh….aaaaahhh….I’m screaming….hear me scream!

A big thrust kick to the cheek stops the scream and sends Kordy flopping to her back, where she grabs at her temple. Marie then drops into a forward roll and flips out of it into a big flipping senton across her chest. She then races to her feet and dashes towards the laid out Lyman, performing a standing forward flip into the senton. Lyman gets her knees up into position to break Marie’s back, but instead Jones launches herself OVER her opposition and lands on her feet. She does not fall for the same counter twice….refusing to allow her spine to take any further punishment.

She then makes the best of a rainy day, stepping towards the now kneeling Lyman with the same thrust kick that rang Kordy’s bell. But Lilly is NOT Kordelia, she catches the boot right before it can connect and then shoves the foot down to the canvas. Lyman then leaps forward into a rolling Liger kick….that connects….with nothing. Marie dodges in the nick of time, causing Lilly to land on her back and fall prey to the flipping senton right across her sternum.

Dollar: Marie had tried on multiple occasions to hit that move, but persistence pays off.

Marie twists around and throws her mass over Lilly’s chest, going for the coveted three count.

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A shoulder evades canvas, Lyman kicking out seconds before she could taste the bittersweet defeat.

Dollar: Now see, that’s the type of determination we see from all the women on this roster….or at least the majority of them. We see it from our World Champion, from the likes of Unity, from the likes of Dark Legacy….and it’s a resiliency that Kordy is out here trying to undermine.

Kordy lunges to her feet and dashes in behind the rising Jones, grabbing her around the neck. She goes for a one handed bulldog but Marie twists free at the last second, countering by spinning around and catching Kordy with a reverse neckbreaker. A reverse neckbreaker that brings Kordy down on top of the Lilly’s raised knees.

The two ladies work in concert to inflict punishment on Kordelia, who rolls across the ring grabbing at her neck and her shoulder blades. That cooperation concludes and in a hurry, Marie spinning around and grabbing Lilly under her raised knees. She heaves the legs up into the air, sending Lyman flipping up and over onto her feet. Then Marie charges in take advantage of Lyman before she can even get herself balanced. Yet even while unstable Lilly is capable of fipping forward into a rolling Liger kick that connects with the top of an inbound Marie’s head, laying her out.

Lyman could logically go for the pin but opts not to, instead she gets to her feet and goes for the guaranteed kill. The nearest corner is ascended by Lyman, who steadies herself and then delivers a corkscrew moonsault that absolutely dazzles the fans and puts all the fight out of an already unconscious Jones’ body. Lyman then falls forward into the lateral press, hooking both legs and ensuring victory is within her grasp.

Dollar: WOW….Lyman off the top rope with that corkscrew moonsault….we don’t see people around here go high risk too often….

Susie: I think that was a statement by Lyman more than anything else.

The moonsault connected and roused the fans but has it done enough damage to get Lilly the win?

The official is about to answer that question with a….

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And there is no three because Kordy manages to break up the pinfall by way of a stomp right against Lyman’s forehead.

Dollar: And Kordy manages to ruin it yet again…..no surprise there.

Susie: But look, she’s twerking….and that makes the whole world right.

Yep…that’s just what Price is doing….shaking her money maker and hyping herself to the repulsion of many but a few catcalls as well.

Kordy: Oh yeah, look at me shake that ass boys….ya know ya love it.

The twerk ends with much pain not only from the female viewers but from the front dropkick that Lyman delivers to her rear-end. The front dropkick sends Kordy stumbling into the turnbuckle and ramming her face into the top pad. She then staggers back and falls to her seat, looking stunned. But what’s even more stunning is what happens after Lilly runs into the ropes in front of her, ricochets off and then leaps into a shining wizard. The kick connects and puts Kordy on her back.

Dollar: The Shining Wizard trumps the twerk any day of the week.

Susie: Not true….just ask Robin Thicke.

The kick has Kordy unconscious and Lyman closing in on a victory. She scrambles back to her feet and begins to stoop down to pin her opposition when Marie swoops in at her side, takes her wrist, throws a leg over the back of Lilly’s head and delivers the Vindicator.

Dollar: Vindicator from Jones!

Susie: Couldn’t she do it while twerking?

The pin is made…without a twerk by Marie, who puts all her girth….what little there is….across Lyman’s chest.

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3!

There is a sustainable pop for Jones, after she manages to secure her first and perhaps the beginning of many wins here on the IWC stage. Though winded from this labor intensive battle with a very game Lyman, and a very lame Kordelia, Marie still manages to rise in accordance with the referee’s demands. Once upright she can soak it in and show some elation as her arm is raised up high by Wright.

Susie: Big debut by Marie Jones.

Dollar: She drilled Lyman with the Vindicator and in the process may have just vindicated the entire female roster from all these chauvinistic slanders made by both Porno Lad and Kordelia Price.

Susie: Yay. These moments really do call for a kazoo….Why can’t I have a kazoo?

Dollar: For the same reason you’re not allowed to have glitter or a magic eight ball…you would just end up abusing them.

Marie’s celebration continues as she vacates the ring, having made her statement loud, clear and decisive. A shaken up Lyman gets to her elbows, awakening just in time to hear Marie’s entrance music piping through the PA system. The sound of these tunes is even more deflating than hearing the referee’s hand slap the canvas for the third time.

She tries to get back up but has an even harder time of it than Porno Lad pre-match. Before she can reach a homo-erectus posture, a recovered Kordy swoops in and pie faces her down onto her posterior.

Kordy Nuh-uh, sweetheart, you’re gonna sit right there and you’re gonna watch….

Lilly is in too much pain and too groggy to put up much in the way of resistance.

Kordy You want to be a star? Let Kordy show you how it’s done. Let Kordy show you what Porno Lad taught me. DJ! Give Kordy a beat!

Almost on cue some techno music begins to blare through the PA system and Kordelia starts to twerk.

Dollar: Why? Jesus God why?

Susie: Kordy shaking her shitter. Can I start a ‘this is awesome’ chant?

Dollar: It’s bad enough that she’s twerking…but even worse that Porno Lad has convinced her this is the only way for a female wrestler to become a star in this company.

The dancing continues to the abject dismay of the masses. And the fans aren’t the only ones who have seen enough. Lyman dashes across the ring and delivers a lariat right to the back of Kordy’s head, putting her down to the canvas. Lyman was already upset about her loss, so she wasn’t about to sit there and watch Kordy make a joke of her chosen profession. Therefore Kordy is about to be re-educated as to what a female wrestler is capable of….before….Satisfied by Social Code results in an uproar that defies logic in terms of its decibel. Through the curtains struts Katelyn Buehler and the fans are clearly thrilled to see her.

Dollar: Katelyn Buehler is here to weigh in on this image that Kordelia Price is TRYING to perpetuate…..presumably.

Susie: You know what they say about presumptions, Johnny, they make a perm of you and I both. Wait…is that right?

Dollar: Not even close. Anyway, Katelyn is making her way down the ramp and it looks like her mind is weighed heavy with thought.

Kordelia looks like she’s trapped between a gator and a lion….neither Lyman nor Buehler presenting favorable options for the injured gazelle. Per the request of Buehler….Lilly begins to vacate the ring, backing towards the ropes and slipping out, right as Buehler is slipping in.

Dollar: Katelyn has something to say and we’re going to find out what that is after this commercial break.

Susie: Maybe she’s here for a twerking competition.

Dollar: I don’t think so.

Susie: A girl can always dream can’t she?

Dollar: You actually dream about twerking contests?

Susie: Yes, but it’s normally characters from My Little Pony who are doing the twerking.

As Katelyn finds herself on the verge of asking for a microphone the show segues to commercial.

We return in time to find Katelyn already in full dissertation.

Katelyn: What happened to you, Kordy?

Price is still on her butt…mostly because Katelyn won’t let her stand up. Every time she does, Katelyn takes another threatening step towards her. So all Kordy can do is exactly what the fans are doing, sit and watch Buehler verbally tear Price’s performance into confetti.

Dollar: Riot rolling along with Katelyn out here to put Price and Porno Lad in their place.

Susie: No twerks of any kind then?

Dollar: And none involving My Little Pony either.

The fans are far more willing to hear Katelyn out than Kordelia…who actually covers her ears with her palms at this point.

Kordy: Not listening….not listening at all.

The hands are brushed away from the ears so that she can hear her unobstructed, Katelyn insistent that every piece of valuable wisdom is heard.

Katelyn: The only reason I agreed to team with you at the End of the Year Special was based on your incredible performance against one another during an IWC house-show. Seriously there were a few moments there where you not just out wrestled me, but came within a fraction of a second of pinning my shoulders to the canvas. And now…..after your dazzling performance….and after making a name for yourself all over the Independent Wresting scene as a tactician, here you are…..TWERKING?

Kordy is unabashed in her pride….smiling wide and smiling proud.

Katelyn: You’ve went from wrist locks and sharpshooters to stink-faces and hip checks?

Kordy is unabashed in her glee….nodding and nodding enthusiastically.

Katelyn: What….what….what happened? How did you go from serious wrestler to total diva? Overnight? Go on…explain.

The microphone is extended and at last Kordelia is given a chance to explain herself. She isn’t allowed to stand but she is permitted an opportunity to justify her actions

Kordy: Ummmm….hello! No one tunes in to watch a female wrestler…WRESTLE….they want to see us in super skimpy outfits and dry humping ring ropes.

Katelyn: That’s ridiculous.

Kordy: Is it….is it really? Not according to the ratings. Haven’t you seen how they spike when a little sex kitten like Kordy starts to show some skin? They go higher than Anthony Anderson’s blood pressure after a trip to Dunkin Donuts.

Katelyn: Woman wrestlers aren’t just T&A though, Kordy. They can draw with more than just scantily clad outfits and rope humpings. Though I hate to cite her as an example….Look at Taylor Chase. She’s referenced here, there, and everywhere….she gets a mention almost every five seconds…why, because she’s proven herself to be marketable. And not just because she shows an occasional twitter pic with her boobs bursting out her t-shirt. No…..she brings in the ratings through her actions in the ring. Then there’s Brittany Lohan…and Kathryn Pearson…and Yvonne Knight….ladies who put on an absolute clinic at the End of the Year Special….ladies who raised the bar for wresters of any sex. The final moments of their tag team elimination match were some of the most captivating….thrilling minutes of wrestling you’ll ever see….from men or women. So no….women don’t have to gyrate their ass and dance around like sluts in order to get their recognition.

Kordy: Erm….isn’t that how Porno Lad took notice of you?

Katelyn instantly shuts up….gnawing at her lower lip.

Kordy: You have no room to talk considering you never would have broke into this industry if Porno Lad hadn’t discovered you dancing around a striper’s pole. Now look at you…..you’re the hot topic on all the dirt sheet websites….Forums the world over are discussing you as a potential challenger to Taylor Chase’s World Championship. Porno Lad turned you from a nothing to a something….And he can do the same for me, If I just follow his guidance, if I believe in him, I’ll be standing beside him as he becomes the single biggest star in this company’s history..

Katelyn couldn’t keep her mouth shut for that long….especially given what she just heard.

Katelyn: That’s where you’re wrong, Kordy. I never became the person I am today until I started to break away from Ethan’s influence…until I started to stand on my own. I was like you at one point, sold on this idea that Porno Lad was the be all….end all….and that I could use his tutelage to make myself a star. And then….I became ambitious….I went and challenged Taylor Chase for the World Heavyweight Championship….and that changed everything.

She takes on a far more sullen disposition when forced to relive her horribly botched performance against Taylor Chase.

Katelyn: I realized that Porno Lad had trained me to be nothing but an inferior diva. That he never wanted me to succeed, that he never wanted me to be a star. He just wanted me to forever be beneath him. To forever be his eager little underling. Porno Lad never had any intent on seeing my star rise…..it was always going to be him on top…and me on the bottom….Wait…that probably didn’t come out right.

Kordy: How dare you!

Much like Katelyn can’t keep her mouth shut when hearing Kordy get things horribly wrong…..Price can’t stay silent when hearing Porno Lad’s name dragged through the muck and mire. She figuratively and literally stands up for Porno Lad, getting right into Katelyn’s face.

Kordy: Porno Lad saved you from a strip club, Katelyn.

Katelyn: Only to keep me coked up and quiet…..to forever be nothing more than the eye candy standing on his arm and making him look better.

Kordy: And you should have been so happy with that. You’re such an ungrateful gutter slut….You owe Porno Lad everything….EVERYTHING!

Kordelia gets a bit bolder and even more spiteful.

Kordy: You never deserved Porno Lad….not after all the sacrifices he made for you….But now, he’s got someone following his lead that truly appreciates his help. Kordy gonna be a STAR….and Porno Lad is gonna make Kordy one.

Katelyn: You’ll never be a World Champion.

Kordy: And no woman should. They don’t make marketable champions.

Katelyn: Did you not hear what I said about Taylor Chase?

Kordy: Taylor is just like any other woman….she’s weak….she’s inferior…..

Katelyn: Are you hearing yourself?

Kordy: Yep, Kordy hearing Kordy speak the truth, to fess up to Kordy’s limitations and the limitations of every other female wrestler on the IWC roster. They can’t admit it, but Kordy will. As women we’ll never stack up to a male wrestler, the likes of Porno Lad, we’ll forever be beneath them. So why fight so pointlessly to try and masquerade ourselves as their equals, when it’s so much easier to use the physical gifts we were given to our advantage. We wouldn’t have tits and fantastic asses if we weren’t supposed to shake and giggle them. That’s how we’ll become stars…..that’s how we’ll become household names….Not by winning championships….not by being able to apply a wrist lock or a sharpshooter….

Katelyn: Kordelia….

Kordy:….You’ll never be a World Heavyweight Champion, Buehler….because this is a man’s world….as it should be….Women wrestlers will never be as good as male athletes…and we shouldn’t try to be.

It wasn’t until Kordelia called into question her World Title pursuit that something snaps.

Katelyn: Is that the case BITCH?

Katelyn steps towards and backs down Kordy.

Katelyn: You don’t think a woman can be as good as a man in this ring? How about I prove that wrong…and prove that wrong right now.

Kordy: Oh please. The only thing you can do better than a man is wear a G-string and a push up bra.

Katelyn: No, because I can be far more vicious than any man in this ring….And I’m about to show it….Why don’t you wrestle me right now and I’ll demonstrate it for everyone?

Kordelia forms a stiff upper lip…or at least tries even though its currently quivering…..then steps up and rises to the challenge.

Kordy: On Porno Lad’s behalf, Kordy will GLADLY kick your flat ass.

Katelyn: Alright then….referee Wright, get back in here and chime that bell.

Why did Stuart Wright insist on remaining at ringside just so he could hobnob with an attractive yet clearly underaged girl at ringside? At Buehler’s behest Wright sighs and slides back into the ring, rubbing his sore shoulder after calling for the bell.

Dollar: Looks like we’ve got yet another impromptu match on Riot!, Katelyn Buehler about to show Kordy just how wrong she is regarding this Diva mentality she and Porno Lad are trying to bring into the IWC.

Susie: Poor Stuart Wright is about to get tendonitis in his elbow.

Dollar: We’re gonna have Buehler versus Price right here with much on the line.

KORDELIA PRICE VS. KATELYN BUEHLER

The bell has chimed and we are underway with a big open hand slap to Katelyn’s cheek starting off this confrontation. Buehler steps back, growing as red as a tomato as Kordy stands in front of her and now begins to swing her hips, pivoting in a circle in the process.

Kordy: Ya liking this….ya liking it….Ya know ya do.

When she turns back to Katelyn, she gets a big kick to the diaphragm that puts her on her ass.

Dollar: Evidently, Katelyn DIDN’T like all that gyrating.

Susie: But it was so awesome.

Katelyn slaps her forearm several times and hunkers down..about to end this match and end it quick with the roaring elbow she’s dubbed the KTFO. Kordy crawls away from her in the process, employing the ropes to begin dragging herself towards her feet, having absolutely no idea what is waiting for her. Anticipation builds behind Katelyn’s kill move only for the crowd to hear…not the sound of bone on bone collision….but Porno Lad’s delusional rhetoric screeching through the PA system.

Porno Lad: Don’t you do it, Katelyn, don’t you DARE!

Dollar: Oh great…even more Porno Lad.

Susie How can you possibly have enough of that glorious perm?

Once on the apron Porno Lad has Katelyn’s full and undivided attention.

Porno Lad: You know that Kordy is speaking the truth. You need to abandon this whole pointless pursuit of the World Heavyweight Championship. The only way you’ll ever be close to that gold is if you’re standing at my side when I capture the gold.

Buehler doesn’t respond well to the notion that she’ll only ever be a subordinate and not a stand-alone. Of course Porno Lad isn’t much of a stand-alone himself, considering he’s no longer capable of even remaining upright on the apron. Suddenly his ankles are grabbed and his feet are torn out from under him by some woman who managed to leap over the barricade before security could get hold of her. The Original Prankster manages to land on his feet right in front of this clearly disgruntled woman, who is throwing an absolute fit.

Dollar: Porno Lad has so enflamed the passions of the women in attendance tonight, they’re actually attacking him.

Susie: Wait though, I think I recognize that woman.

Dollar: Yeah I believe that’s one of the wrestlers down in our developmental system.

Susie: Oh, actually I thought that was Paula Abdul on as drunken tirade.

Dollar: Nope, sorry to disappoint.

Security manages to get this unruly woman under control, dragging her away from a stunned Porno Lad. Though he’s done such a terrific job of controlling his impulses, he just can’t help giving over to his indulgences just this once, even if said indulgences paint him in a heelish light. He rushes in and throws a sucker punch to this woman’s face while she is being held back.

Dollar: OH COME ON!

Susie: That was low, even by Porno Lad’s standards.

Before he can throw another fist he finds his hand caught, bound by the wrist. He swings around and finds himself glaring into the penetrating eyes of Trailer Park Kid.

TPKid: I don’t think so, Ethan.

The wrist is released and now Porno Lad’s fists turned from a restrained woman to his own tag team partner.

Porno Lad: How dare you….

The top of a baseball bat wedges directly to Porno Lad’s jaw and instantly changes his tune.

Porno Lad: Whoa…hey…come on now….remember, we’re partners.

He lifts his knuckles for a fist pump but only gets a bump from the bat, backing him up the ramp and away from the ring. TPKid ensures that Porno Lad will not be interfering in this match.

TPKid: You have some explaining to do.

Porno Lad continues to back up the ramp and plead for compasison but TPKid shows no semblance of mercy, especially to a man who has strung him along for so many weeks under the guise of being an honorable man….but honorable men do not slug restrained women….and they certainly don’t drug hams.

Dollar: TPKid intercepting Porno Lad.

Susie: He’s probably mad at Lad too, when his true character was revealed at the End of the Year Special.

Dollar: Which cost TPKid’s team a victory in that elimination match.

As Kid leads Lad away, Kordelia leads a distracted Katelyn’s face down to the canvas with a single hand bulldog. Buehler pops over to her back and Price scrambles into the lateral press, hooking her leg.

Dollar: Price caught Buehler off guard….Don’t even tell me Kordy is going to pin her.

Susie: If she does it’ll in her mind totally reinforce what Price has been saying about women.

Dollar: Which will give Porno Lad ultimate bragging rights and even further inflate his undeserved self-worth.

Women the world over face-palm in anticipation of Buehler’s loss.

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But no….Katelyn will not be defeated….least of all by a bulldog.

Dollar: Katelyn kicks out, she’s staying alive.

Susie: Stayin’ alive, stayin alive…..ew…ew…..ewww…STAYING ALIVE!

Dollar: Stop that….right now!

Susie: I’m still determined that we can have a musical edition of Riot!

Kordy gets up and argues with the official before turning her hip just enough to expose her rump.

Kordy: Count a bit quicker next time and you’ll let ya slap this.

Though Wright won’t be bribed financially….physical wants are a different story.

Before he can even indulge his wicked desires, he’s denied his opportunity thanks to Katelyn’s recovery. As thus Kordy returns her focus to the rising Buehler, and not the rise in Wright’s underpants She rushes right at Buehler with another one handed bulldog only to be shoved off at the last second. Price goes twisting into the ropes, ricocheting off and returning to the center of the ring where she’s subjected to a KTFO.

The roaring elbow almost knocks Price’s head into the stands, but instead sends her flipping completely over backwards. She comes down on her face and ultimately ends up on her back.

Dollar: And the KTFO possibly knocking every tooth right down Kordy’s mouth.

Susie: Making her choke on them, and her words.

Katelyn falls over Kordy’s chest and hooks the far leg, folding her opponent up like a shirt just taken from a dryer.

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And Buehler has done it to the delight of all the females in attendance, including the one being held in abeyance at ringside.

Dollar: The KTFO earns Buehler the win….and she did so in dominant fashion to boot.

Susie: Think she just showed Kordy that woman can be just as dominant as men. Actually, there are quite a few ladies who make a living dominating men.

Dollar: Do you speak from experience?

Susie: Unfortunately I have an allergic reaction to leather….so no.

There is nothing unfortunate about Kordy’s aversion to winning, the crowd whole heartedly supporting her loss via their praise for the woman who just vanquished her. Katelyn gets to her feet and lifts both arms high above her head to a rapacious response

Susie: Emotional win for Katelyn tonight.

Dollar: Now she, just like everyone finally sees Porno Lad for the manipulative misogynist he is.

Susie: Well everyone save for Kordelia Price.

Katelyn continue sot celebrate even while making eye contact with the woman held by security at ringside. The two exchange a wink.

Porno Lad: Nate…..you’ve got it all wrong….just listen for a second.

The same expression of terror that draped Porno Lad’s face at ringside remains fixed to his features backstage. He continues to plead ignorance in the process of walking away from TPKid and the bat wedged against his chest.

TPKid: Don’t talk….don’t even bother….I know every word out of your mouth is a fucking lie.

Porno Lad: Hey! You just swore!

TPKid: I don’t give a shit. You’ve had me acting like a God damned fool for weeks now, trying to be something I’m not, and you NEVER were.

Porno Lad: What are you talking about? I’m totally genuine.

TPKid: No, you’re totally full of shit.

Another nudge from the bat almost makes Porno Lad lose his footing

TPKid: You’re ego cost our team that match at the End of the Year Special….and now I see you striking defenseless woman. You’re not a face….of the MEGA variety or any other…You’re just a pompous windbag. Were you ever even going to let me hold my Tag Team Title? Were you gonna help me take back my championship? Or was that all bullshit too?

Porno Lad: Of course not. I was going to get back the belt, I swear on my hair.

TPKid: Can you even tell when you’re lying? You don’t give a shit about our partnership….about me having my belt….You had no trouble screwing me over at the End of the Year Special….so what’s stopping you from doing it again?

Porno Lad: But I was trying to help, Nate….If it weren’t for Mr. Hush, I would have led our team to victory.

TPKid: Listen to yourself. Blaming others for YOUR failure. I didn’t put my all into that elimination tag just to have you come out and rob my team of a win….

Porno Lad: You know what, Nate, you’re right.

Porno Lad lowers his head with a sullen expression overcoming his face.

TPKid: About what?

Porn Lad: Everything.

TPKid: Screwing my team? Being a manipulative lying mother fucker? And making me look like an idiot while you strung me along with false promises?

Porno Lad: All of it.

TPKid: Then are you ready to get what’s coming to you?

Porno Lad: Yes…I’ll take what I’m owed…

TPKid: You’re damn right you will.

Porno Lad: If it’ll make things right between us.

TPKid: It’ll be a start.

The bat wedged to his chest is now used to push Porno Lad down to a kneeling base upon the floor

Porno Lad: I just have one request.

A groan from Kid.

TPKid: What is it?

Porno Lad: That you allow me to turn my back so I can’t see it coming.

TPKid: Sounds fair.

The bat lowers to Kid’s side as he watches Porno Lad morosely rise towards his feet and begin to turn his back. But once half way up he launches the top of his head directly into TPKid’s gut, doubling him over and causing him to drop his weapon. This gives Lad just the smidgeon of an opportunity he needs to leap to his feet and take off running down the corridor.

TPKid: COWARD!

Lad continues to rush down the corridor while Kid cradles his ribs in his arms.

STATIC

Jaina: Lukas Montgomery….

Jaina Frost has obviously assumed the role of prosecutor…pacing before the witness stand where the Blacklist has remained seated. Lukas feels right at home in this seat….considering this is NOT unexplored territory.

Jaina: You’ve had first-hand dealings with the authority here in the IWC, correct?

Montgomery: More than our fair share.

A smirk from Mika and a headshake from Harrison. There is no reaction from those seated in the galley, a silent Ba’al and an equally as tight lipped Foxx.

Jaina: So, you can tell us rather the authority operates with competence.

Mika: I abject….She’s badgering the witness.

Ba’al: Mrs. Kozlov….

The venomous tongue cannot be kept behind clinched teeth any longer.

Ba’al:…I’m afraid you have no grounds in which to abject on the basis that you’re a witness.

Mika: Awww…take all the fun out of it for me.

Montgomery: To answer your question….

In spite of Mika’s frivolity, the trial gets back to a more serious tone.

Montgomery:….I’m not going to commit perjury by telling a great big fib….

Harrison: Good…because you know how I despise liars.

Montgomery: Yep….Anyhow, I must say that the authority around here has shown quite a bit of competency.

Jaina: Really?

She’s not the only one who expresses some disbelief. Her surprise is mirrored by both her brother and his Lady Liberty.

Montgomery: Because they’ve competently set out to derail the Blacklist’s momentum, and wilfully taken the IWC down a path of sheer and complete ruination.

Harrison: Amen to that.

Montgomery: It’s really quite brilliant how individuals like Orlando Cruze have managed to ruin what was once a prosperpus federation by transforming it into their own private sandpit and utilizing it as nothing more than a tool in which to stroke their own ego; He’s shown sheer genius by managing to manipulate the roster into believing that he’s redeemed himself while secretly playing the role of ultimate politician when behind closed doors.

Harrison: He has managed to cut the legs out from under so many of those with potential…those who could legitimately rise up and challenge his ego maniacal stranglehold over the federation. Just look at what he did to Nathan Creed….the one man who knows him better than anyone else. The one individual who could validate our claims given his close personal relationship with Orlando, and his ability to see through the Icon’s façade.

Montgomery: Yep….so naturally Orlando had him taken out….and actually made US look like the bad guys.

Mika: Ahem?

Montomgery: Bad PEOPLE.

Mika: That’s better.

Harrison: So yeah….the authority is incredibly competent, as it takes a truly keen mind to manage to pull the wool over the eyes of so many. The roster should be quite thankful that there are at least three amongst them possessing an equally as keen mind….our heightened awareness opening our eyes to Orlando’s manipulative and oh so sinister methods.

Montgomery: It’s a pity that Taylor isn’t nearly as sharp as the three of us.

Mika: Unfortunately she’s just as susceptible to Orlando’s psychological warfare as the rest of this pathetic roster.

Harrison: A roster almost undeserving of our aid in vindicating them of Orlando’s wicked ways.

Jaina: I’m afraid the three of you…nor the roster as a whole….will have a choice in this matter.

Ba’al: Now-now sister, we’ve yet to reach a verdict.

Jaina: Ah, sorry dear Brother, I shouldn’t be so biased. Just hard to ignore the Trinity’s testimony.

Ba’al: Yes, it tis quite damning.

Foxx: Let’s hear from the rest of our witnesses shall we?

Mika: Before we go, can I say one last thing?

Jaina: By all means.

Kozlov looks to actually be displaying some type of…..emotion….At least that’s what her watery eyes and quivering lip would imply.

Mika: The authority here in the IWC has maliciously targeted us since day one.

Harrison’s hand sides onto Mika’s shoulder and gives her the confidence to speak her mind.

Mika: Yes, we’ve been a bit outspoken, and perhaps our methods have been a bit unorthodox, but this is not sufficient cause for Orlando to shamelessly persecute us. Not only has he attempted to turn us into his puppets, and to drive a wedge between us….but he’s…..he’s taken my family away from me.

Mika breaks down, choosing to cover her face before she can embarrass herself. Therefore Aaron takes over, realizing just how difficult this is for the only woman on the planet he truly understands.

Harrison: If the three of you choose not to find the IWC guilty for such depraved acts, then the Blacklist will be forced to carry forth our own execution.

Foxx: Don’t worry….Cowboy….

She gives a wink in conjunction with the use of Harrison’s pet-name.

Foxx: Justice will be done.

The very gavel she swung into the back of Katelyn’s head is raised, with her fingers sliding over its smooth contours.

Ba’al: Shall we call our next witness then?

Jaina: The court summons…

STATIC

Here-he….here-he….enough rabble…..I will have SILENCE in my courtroom.

Another gavel isn’t molested, but slammed against a judge’s pulpit. It isn’t held in the hands of the seductive temptress, but a gangly curmudgeon. He doesn’t sport a head of raven black hair, but instead a white dreadlocked wig….and his complexion matches the hue of his wig, entirely too much powder covering his cheeks.

Silence: Um….but my liege, you already have Silence, I’m standing right here.

Mr. Gaunt makes no attempts to hide his annoyance….evident even beneath his powdered cheeks and dense white wig.

Mr. Gaunt: Please spare us from such hyper literalism.

Silence follows instruction, lowering eyes to the floor of the dark room the Black Crusade has taken residency within.

Mr. Gaunt: We shall now commence with the Black Crusade’s OWN trial to decide the fate of this little company that could.

Silence: Or at the very least as TRIED to chug along since day one.

Mr. Gaunt: True, for it’s probably lost quite a few wheels and many of its cogs have been coated with a thick oily residue making it difficult for them to function properly. But let’s dispense with metaphors along with hyper literalism. For we are here to decide rather we should be bothered to intervene in this ‘execution’ that Mr. Lord of Flies and his fiendish flock have promised to bring down upon our place of employment.

Silence: Such tough decisions.

Mr. Gaunt: I am quite conflicted on the matter. Though the IWC has some spunk that I find admirable, I’m afraid they have given us the proverbial short end of the stick. The powers that be have not done a very good job of endearing themselves to the Black Crusade.

Silence: In other words, they’ve treated us like a ten cent Tijuana whore.

Mr. Gaunt: That’s being quite generous.

Mr. Gaunt leans back in his chair and twirls the gavel betwee his hands.

Mr. Gaunt: So perhaps the minions of the IWC can inspire the Black Crusade to make a choice. Do we stand in defense of the IWC, or do we turn a blind eye to its degradation?

Silence: May I call our first witness?

Mr. Gaunt: You may.

Silence: Excellent.

A waterlogged and moldy My Pet Monster is thrown into the witness stand situated beside Gaunt’s pulpit.

Mr. Gaunt: Ah, I was wondering where that stench was coming from.

He pinches his nose before continuing….giving his voice quite a humorous nasally tone.

Mr. Gaunt: Though I’m sure this inanimate and grossly abused relic of eighties childhood trauma would give a far more entertaining testimony than the Blacklist, I had another witness in mind.

Silence: But it’s just so adorable.

Mr. Gaunt: Please stop dragging that thing around with you everywhere you go. It’s more repulsive than that object constantly attached at Yvonne Knight’s hip, I believe it’s called a Kathryn Pearson. And speaking of which…our first witnesses shall be the group collectively known as….

It shames Silence to do it, but she removes the toy so that the chair can now be occupied by not one….not two….but three ladies.

Mr. Gaunt: Unity.

Yvonne Knight, Kathryn Pearson and the World Heavyweight Champion herself, Taylor Chase step forth and have limited difficulty squeezing their frames into the witness stand. The three prepare to deliver testimony in the hopes of swaying the Black Crusade from their indifference.

Security is presently dragging along the ever so bold woman who took it upon herself to leap the barricade and take a moral stand against the oh so chauvinistic Porno Lad. She goes along quietly and compliantly….drawing closer to the exit. She’s moments from being led through said doors but a plea gives pause to security.

Katelyn: Wait-WAIT! She’s with me.

The little spark plug turns and smiles when Katelyn Buehler dashes in her direction. However, security could take or leave Katelyn’s interference.

Katelyn: Sorry for the miscue fellas, but she’s my honored guest this evening.

Security: Yeah, whatever.

That’s all it takes, security not properly motivated to dig any deeper. Currently their only motivation is finding the nearest box of jelly donuts. So they take their leave and allow Katelyn to converse with this mysterious lass.

Lady: Thank you.

Katelyn: Don’t mention it, it’s the least I could do. Not very often you run into someone willing to stand for their convictions.

Lady: You don’t recognize me, do you?

Katelyn is overwhelmed with feelings of awkwardness

Katelyn: Sure I do…..Buddy….How have you been?

Lady: Relax Kate, I don’t blame you for not remembering me. We only met a handful of times, and you weren’t exactly all there…

Taps to the temple are less than a subtle reminder of Katelyn’s past alcohol and drug issues.

Lady: I’m Norah….Polly Norah.

Still not clearing the haze.

Polly: Josh Hudson’s sister.

Katelyn: OH!

Josh Hudson is an instantly recognizable name.

Katelyn: Now I remember.

Polly: Sure you do hun.

A pat to the top of Katelyn’s head.

Polly: Thanks again.

Katelyn: It isn’t you who owes me a debt of gratitude….it’s me who should be thinking you for finally shutting Ethan up.

Polly: Believe me, it was my pleasure. Been wanting to put Porno Lad in his place for as long as I can remember.

Katelyn: You and I both.

Para: Glad to see you’re finally taking a stand against him and his pig headed bullshit….but ummm…if it wouldn’t be too bold….I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind having a little help in that department.

Katelyn: Oh?

Para: I’d love the opportunity to get more than just one crack at Ethan. He’s got so much to answer for.

Katelyn: Yes, yes he does.

Para: So maybe you could put in a good word for me with management, and get me signed on here so I could have nothing standing between me and Porno Lad.

Katelyn: Well, to be honest, I’m not exactly on the up and up with management at the moment…..

Polly’s head lowers, a visible sign of her distress.

Katelyn: But I’ll see what I can do for you. Maybe I can pull a few strings.

Polly’s head rises, a visible sign of her glee.

Polly: Thanks, would mean the world to me.

Katelyn: I think the two of us together, can make Porno Lad’s life very interesting.

Polly: My thoughts exactly.

Like Uma Thurman being hit in the heart with a syringe full of adrenaline, the fans leap right up out of their seats when spotting Alana Starr backstage. She’s not as fast as she used to be when getting herself geared up, given her limited opportunities to do so over the past year, and it’s not like she’s motivated to do so either. She slowly pulls on her knee pads and laces her boots…in no particular rush to get in wresting gear for a match teaming with Brittany Lohan instead of opposing her.

Andre: Hey Baby….

Andre Jorden no longer stands in the crowd, but now occupies the doorway of the very locker-room where Alana sullenly applies her wrestling gear. There is only one ray of light that can break through the storm clouds, and a now smiling Alana is looking right at him.

Alana: Andre….how did you….how did you get back here? Didn’t security?

Andre: Relax baby girl, security was like non-existent….they were too busy dealing with some crazy chick who attacked that Porno Lad punk. No one even noticed me slipping backstage.

Alana: Okay….

Normally she would be bursting with glee at the sight of her ‘friend,’ but the clouds once again form into a thick encompassing blanket of darkness that drowns out even this feint glimmer of light. She turns away from Jordan, runs her hands through her hair and eventually plops down on the bench beside her gym-bag.

Andre: You don’t look all too thrilled to see me.

<PAlana: No-no, I am….I swear….It’s just….I have a lot on my mind at the moment.

Andre: No joke. Being forced to team with Brittany…that ain’t cool.

Alana: You have no idea. I finally get her in the ring and it’s as a tag team partner instead of an opponent. And I was so close….so close…..I finally had the contract in my hand….ready to sign it….ready to give Lohan no way out…..and then….

Andre: I saw it all…no need to rehash that shit. I was just as disgusted by it as you were. I know how much this match against Brittany means to you.

Alana: And all it would take it me signing that contract, then I would have it.

Andre: Well…maybe I can help.

Alana: Andre, PLEASE, don’t get yourself into this…

Andre: Too late….already invested….In fact, I’m so invested, I’ve been talking to the boss-man, and we’re officially entering into contract negotiations. I’m about come on board full fledge, just so I can keep a very close eye on everything that’s going down around here.

Alana: After the way I’ve been treated since I signed onto the roster are you sure you want to do that?

Andre: Listen baby, the only reason you’ve been mistreated, is because I haven’t been here to watch out for you. So let me do my job, let me help you.

Alana: How?

Though initially hesitant, she comes around and finds herself receptive to anything that brings her a step closer to battling Lohan.

Andre: While you’re gearing up, and keeping yourself focused on this match tonight, let me go and find Silverstone. Maybe I can talk her into forking over that contract and staying out of the middle of things.

Alana: I couldn’t ask you to do that.

Andre: You’re not asking, I’m volunteering.

Alana: Andre, you really shouldn’t….

Andre: You just keep your mind on the match tonight and let me handle all the rest…

He bends down and strokes some lose hairs out of her face.

Andre: Trust me, I’ll do what’s right for you.

Starr might not realize she’s doing it, but she gets all gushy, large eyes batting towards Andre’s smiling face.

ASHLEY MARIE CHASE VS CASSIDY HAZE

We have our return to the ring which is currently occupied by Ashley Marie Chase, her music still fed through the PA system.

Dollar: And the action within the ring keeps on trucking along, with Ashley Marie Chase front and center, about to engage a woman who has transformed from advisor to enemy.

Susie: And in record time no less.

Amanda Blayze: Hey, that’s what happens when you let a couple of psychopaths lead you around by your pigtails.

Focus briefly cuts to Amanda Blayze kicking back in a chair right there at ringside. Her eyes cut from the monitors embedded in the announce table and the ring where Ashley stands in the flesh. Though she should be psyching herself up for battle, she has something that she really needs to get off her chest, hence her necessity for a microphone.

Dollar: We’re being joined here by Amanda Blayze….someone who has had her fair share of dealings with both competitors in this match. I’m assuming that’s what brings you out here tonight.

Blayze: Nope.

Susie: Are you here to play Barbies?

Blayze; Wrong again.

Dollar: The intoxicating aroma of my Sex Panther perfume must have enticed you to join us.

Blayze: Good God no.

Susie: Are you gonna braid my hair?

Blayze: Okay-okay, I’m out here because Ashley-Marie ASKED me to be out here.

Dollar: Did she now?

Blayze: Yes. Apparently she had something to say to me, but wanted to be done in public for some reason.

Dollar: This is wrestling, Amanda, there is no concept of discretion.

Susie: I’m guessing that’s why Ash-Ash, has a mic right now.

Dollar: Are you STILL trying to make that happen? It’s so not gonna be Ashley’s nickname.

Blayze: Doesn’t have the same ring to it as the Huntress.

It appears that Ashley is in a struggle, finding it difficult to grapple with the words she’s about to unleash without filter.

Ashley: Before this match can begin between Cassidy and I, there’s just something that MUST be said…..

A deep breath is required.

Ashley: I accepted this match against Casssidy Haze tonight, because she manipulated and USED me to try to get to my sister….that much is obvious….but I can’t put all blame on her for my poor decision making these past few weeks. I allowed myself to be led astray. I was too gullible….I was too ready to see and assume the worse in people. Amanda….

Ashley has just as much trouble looking Amanda in the eye as she does producing the words that are forced through her clinched teeth. Blayze is having just as much trouble hearing these very syllables, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

Ashley: Cassidy and Brittany, they had me convinced that you were some stuck up jock with a superiority complex looking down her nose at me.

Now its Amanda’s eyes that do all the shifting.

Ashley: Believe it or not, I suffer some confidence issues…..which kinda happens when you grow up in the shadows of sisters who have so many accolades….I’ve never felt like my best was good enough, that I could ever quite measure up. So maybe that’s why I was so ready to believe that you were putting me down….that you were talking smack behind my back….

Blayze: Honey, if I had something to say, I’d have the guts to do it to your face.

Ashley: Instead of being so eager to believe Dark Legacy, I should have went to you DIRECTLY, and talked things out like an adult. So I guess what I’m trying to do here is apologize. I’m sorry Amanda.

Blayze: Well….

Given her shifty seat and shifty eyes, Amanda is uncomfortable.

Blayze: I….guess….I….accept your apology?

Dollar: This isn’t jeopardy, Amanda, you don’t have to phrase your answers in the form of a question.

Blayze: Sorry, I’ve just never had anyone legitimately apologize to me before.

Susie: Yeah, I didn’t think you were allowed to do that in wrestling.

Blayze: It is pretty biza…..

Ashley: I can’t hear you, but I can tell by that look on your face that you accept my apology….Which makes me feel so good.

A sigh of relief is taken by Ashley, who fans away the heated vapors oozing through her skin.

Ashley: Okay, now it’s your turn.

As if Amanda weren’t already confounded enough.

Blayze: My turn?

Ashley: I apologized for my actions, now it’s time for you to apologize for your words.

Blayze: My words?

Ashley: I think our matches against one another have proven that I am not a flake. And the second you apologize for comments like that, we can move on and put all this ugliness behind us.

Blayze: Flake….when did I ever call her a flake?

Ashley: Come on….you’ll feel so much better once you’ve gotten this burden off of your…..

The lights go semi dim as the tron flickers on static like, realistic looking blood starts oozing its way down, soon pictures of Cassidy sitting in the corner of an alley crying as the makeup oozes down her face. Just then She looks up into the sky and a loud shriek can be heard throughout the arena then Made of Scars by Stone Sour starts playing, the tron then switches to Cassidy doing various wrestling maneuvers to various opponents. Cassidy Haze then steps out from behind the curtain with a sadistic smile across her face, she is wearing a black, leather, sleeveless outfit, around her neck sets a collar with small spikes. Se looks out at the crowd and shakes her head as they cheer her on, she then tosses a fist into the air as purple and red pyros explode behind her.

Susie: It looks like Cassidy isn’t going to give you an opportunity to apologize, Amanda.

Blayze: When did I ever give the impression that I was GOING to apologize? I’ve got nothing to apologize for.

Dollar: Looks like Haze has heard enough of this….she’s out here to get her hands on the woman she, Typhoid Mary and Brittany Lohan tried to brainwash into following their ‘WAY’….only to ultimately have Ashley come to her senses.

Susie: Yeah, and that led to Ashley giving Cassidy the very Pele kick that led to her elimination from that six on six tag at the End of the Year Special.

Blayze: Seriously though, when did I ever call Ashley a flake?

Much like her mentor, Cassidy slithers into the ring and kicks back her hair, sliding fingers through it. She then turns her calculating eyes to the disgruntled face of Ashley. Chase buckles down for competition, more than willing to accept Amanda’s apology later tonight.

Dollar: This issue between Haze and Chase has gotten heated in quite a short span of time.

Susie: It looks like they’re about to kill each other.

Blayze: Good riddance in Cassidy’s case. I won’t forget the way that she and Lohan eliminated me from that tag match you were talking about a few moments ago, Johnny D. They set me up.

Dollar: Dark Legacy possesses a particular flair for cerebral attacks.

Blayze: Well I can be as cerebral as I am deadly in the center of that ring, which Cassidy and her precious Blue Eyed Devil will find out when our paths cross again.

Ashley prepares to demonstrate to the fans and more importantly, Amanda, why she is deserving of an apology.

Cassidy prepares to demonstrate to the fans and more importantly, her precious Blue Eyed Devil, that she’s learned quite a bit from her Dark Legacy mentors. The bell chimes and we are underway, Cassidy and Ashley circling one another in anticipation of finding a chink in the other’s armor.

Cassidy: You self-righteous…naive little thing….all you had to do was follow the way.

Ashley: Oh I am….I’m following MY way.

Ashley and Cassidy no longer take verbal shots at one another, now they throw physical blows. Cassidy’s fist launches at Chase’s face only to have duck in the nick of time. The knuckles travel right over her head and sends Cassidy into a full spin. She turns back to Ashley, who nails a knife edge chop to the sternum, then another, and then another. Cassidy is staggered by these blows but grounds herself in time to catch one of the chops, taking Chase by the wrist, swinging around under it and then dropping into an arm drag.

Chase flips over and finds herself rolling across the canvas back to her feet just in time to be beheaded by a lariat. But wait, no Ashley manages to perform a crab stance, bending over backwards to avoid the inbound bicep of her opposition. Cassidy then turns around at the same time that Chase is bridging back to her feet and unloading with even more knife edge chops to Haze’s chest.

Dollar: Look at Ashley go, she is all amped up.

Blayze: It might surprise you to know this….given Ashley’s physique….but her strikes are a lot more lethal than you’d think. I’ve been on the receiving end of several of them and I can attest to just how devastating they are. And this is coming from a proficient striker in her own right.

Ashley substitutes forearms to the chest in favor of knife edge chops at this point, and they prove equally as effective. Cassidy is backed across the ring and ultimately collapses into a corner as Ashley continues her physical onslaught. She then backs away and gets a running start behind a diving forearm, which connects directly to the jaw.

Chase backs to the center of the ring and builds even more momentum behind another running forearm that this time is ducked. Cassidy slips around behind Ashley and pushes her along into the turnbuckle, causing Marie to turn and slam against the corner. Her arms, that have been used to employ quite a bit of damage thus far, fall limply to her sides, indicating that the fight has been taken from her body.

Cassidy then charges in to take advantage only to run into the raised boot of her adversary. The strike knocks Haze back a few paces, putting more than enough room between she and her opponent to give Ashley the opportunity to charge in. She throws another forearm only to be countered into another arm drag from Cassidy.

Chase goes flipping over and rolling forward across the canvas right back onto her feet before Haze rushes in with a lariat. Once again Chase goes into a reverse bridging crab posture to avoid the blow…..and once again Cassidy races right past her…only to ultimately turn around just as Ashley has gotten back to a full upright position. Marie then spins around into a discus forearm only to have Cassidy duck this time, causing Chase to go spiraling past her into the turnbuckle.

Ashley falls against it and Cassidy rushes in to take advantage only to have her opponent get her boot up into Haze’s jaw. This time Cassidy catches the boot before it could connect with her lip and instead of them being bludgeoned, they smile. Her grin widens the moment she realizes that she has Ashley exactly where she wants her. She pushes down on the boot and then steps forward for a lariat only to eat a back elbow to the lips instead of a boot.

Ashley then delivers a knife edge chop that staggers Haze to the center of the ring. With her opponent staggered Cassidy races out of the corner to seize control only to have Cassidy catch her by the crease of the elbow and drop back into an arm drag. However, Ashley plants her feet and will not be flipped over again. Instead she uses her still hooked arm to pull Cassidy back up to her feet and then drag her into a forearm strike, but Cassidy ducks in the nick of time….not only ducks but races into the ropes behind Ashley’s back.

Chase spins around just as Haze rushes in with a lariat that is avoided by that same bridging crab walk….but this time Cassidy doesn’t run past her arched opponent, she stops beside her. She then reaches down, grabs Ashley’s wrists, pulls up on them until Chase is seated on the canvas instead of bridging over it and wedges a foot to her chest. She attempts the reverse curb-stomp….emphasis on the ‘attempts’ part of that statement, because at the last second Ashley squirms out from under the boot.

She twists her body and squirms backwards across the ring watching from behind Cassidy as her boot stomps the canvas. Cassidy then spins around with a grimace and a glare at Chase

Dollar: Neither lady able to get an advantage over the other, which brings us back to square one.

Blayze: Yeah, Ashley isn’t the easiest person to get your hands on. She’s as smooth as silk in that ring.

Susie: Would it be safe to say that you’ve developed some respect for Ashley aftetr your past matches against one another?

Blayze: I’d have to be crazy not to respect her. She’s an adept athlete who has taken me to my limit on several occasions now, how can you not respect that?

Susie: By trying real hard? You just have to apply yourself.

Blayze: Okay, I’ll try that.

Ashley and Cassidy are back to square one, circling one another and looking for an opening. When this feeling out process starts to bore them they rush forward and Haze sidesteps her opponent and leads her along into a knee to the ribs. Ash doubles over and Cassidy takes her around the waist, snapping over into a quick side suplex. She then floats over and sits across Ashley’s chest, pinning her down so that she can begin delivering slaps to both of her cheeks, with a few forearms thrown in for good measure.

Haze: Come on FLAKE….come on! You could be so much more if you’d just give in and accept your darker impulses….

Ashley suddenly reaches up with her legs and wraps them around in front of the shoulders of the predator. She sits up and pushes Cassidy down into the canvas in almost a sunset flip style pinning predicament.

1

Cassidy rolls over backwards onto her elbows and knees and the rushes forward with a headbutt right into Amanda’s jaw, knocking her onto her back. Cassidy then drops down at beside her, applies a modified headlock and begins to deliver rapid fire punches to the face.

Amanda: Cassidy using closed fists….what a surprise there.

Dollar: Well we knew going into this that Cassidy was going to be the more aggressive of the two, given her normal deranged predilections, coupled with her need for vengeance against Ashley.

Blayze: Well, isn’t Ashley just as motivated by the prospect of revenge given the fact that Dark Legacy pretty much played her?

Dollar: Good point.

The strikes continue until referee Fitzpatrick at last intervenes, commencing with a five count and getting to 4.5 before Haze unleashes her opponent. She then gets to her knees and blows a kiss to the official before slithering away from her opponent. A smiling Haze watches from her hands and knees as Ashley struggles to her own crawling base. The moment she begins to push herself up, Cassidy quickly dashes in and drives the top of her head right into Ashley’s cheek.

Another headbutt sends Marie rolling across the ring grabbing at her potentially fractured face. She rolls right along into the ropes, using them to get to her feet but only putting knees beneath her before Cassidy cuts her off. Haze throws her knee between Chase’s shoulder blades and holds it there, pushing down on her upper back and forcing her throat to be strangled against the middle rope.

Dollar: Cassidy choking out Chase with the use of those ropes.

Blayze: These Dark Legacy girls, there’s no low they won’t stoop to. Need I remind anyone how they managed to eliminate me from that six on six tag.

Susie: First they set you up with that crowbar, and then Lohan almost ripped your eyes out of your sockets.

Blayze: And if the two of them think they won’t be hunted as a result of their acts, they’re gravely mistaken, for they will be the first prey in 2014.

Dollar: I knew you were out here for more than just hearing Ashley’s apology.

Blayze: Like everyone around here, I’m capable of having my ulterior motives.

It takes another five count to force Haze to stop wedging Chase’s throat to the middle rope. She then grabs this very cable and yanks viciously back on it, causing Ashley-Marie to fly back. The cable snaps against Ashley’s carotid artery and does quite of damage to her esophagus, making it difficult to both breathe and talk as she rolls to the center of the ring.

She is sluggish in her upward ascension but Cassidy provides some aid, only because she’s intent on delivering a snap suplex. Ashley crashes against her spine and Haze flips over backwards, ending up seated across Chase’s chest once again, providing her the perfect position to strangle the youngest of the Chase siblings. Her hands squeeze tightly around the now targeted through of her opponent, squeezing the very life out of her body.

Haze: Do you see how much easier it becomes when you give over…..When you stop caring what these people think? When you stop being handicapped by the twisted delusions and expectations of your sisters?

Yet another five count commences and reaches 4.9 before Cassidy will dare let up on the strangulation. Ashley begins to gag and gasp for air, now in desperate need of an ascot to hide the bruises on her throat. But these blemishes are the least of her concern, for Cassidy is closing in on victory and closing in on her chest with elbow drop after elbow drop. Haze lunges to her feet and falls elbow first into Chase’s sternum, then takes off into the ropes and delivers a Mutah style elbow drop.

Ashley rolls away, grabbing at her sternum and finding it harder and harder to breathe. Instinctively she pulls herself up with the use of the ropes, finding herself leaning against them….a very unfortunate position….for it gives Cassidy yet another opportunity to bend the rules to her maniacal will. She rushes in and leaps high, dropping her leg across the back of Ashley’s head and driving it into the ropes once again.

Ashley bounces off the cables and pops back up to her feet, turning just as Cassidy ricochets off the ropes bending momentum behind a big running lariat. It connects against Ashley’s throat, putting her down to the canvas while Haze lands on knees beside her.

Susie: Cassidy just controlling this match.

Dollar: Maybe she has a point about giving over to one’s more sociopathic impulses.

Blayze: Don’t Haze and Lohan realize that using cheap tactics ultimately just cheapens your wins?

The ever so twisted Haze crawls towards her wounded prey, using her finger to trace the outline of a heart on Ashley’s chest. She then stands up and wedges a boot to this marking while grabbing both of Chase’s wrists, pulling her up to her seat. The reverse curb-stomp is about to be delivered before Ashley suddenly pries her wrists free and takes Haze around the ankle of the boot pressed to her chest. She twists her body and trips Cassidy down to the canvas, standing up behind her and trying to apply an ankle lock.

A stunned Haze tries to squirm free before the hold can be established. Ultimately she flops to her back, wedges feet to Ashley’s chest and finds a way to escape by pushing Chase off. Ashley-Marie goes spiraling into the turnbuckle, falling against it as Cassidy comes charging in to press her advantage. But Ashley gets her foot up in time to catch Haze to the jaw….almost….Because once again Haze catches her boot and smirks.

Haze: You never do learn….do you?

Suddenly Chase’s opposite leg launches into the air and drills Cassidy to the back of her head. The enzugari knocks Cassidy off of her feet and down throat first into the middle rope. Ashley steadies herself and unleashes a primal scream as she rushes across the ring, turns, builds momentum and launches herself into a crossbody to the upper back of her opponent, driving the wind out of Haze’s body and her throat into the middle rope

Blayze: And just like a switch, Ashley turns on the aggression. This is just another of the many things that make Ashley such a dangerous opponent.

Dollar: Kind of makes it hard to get a read on her doesn’t it.

Blayze: Yeah, I mean, you never know what Ashley you’re going to be facing from one moment to the next.

Dollar: Hence why she’s taken you to the brink several times.

Blayze: Very true. She’s really helped me elevate my game here in the IWC, which is why I think I’m now ready to start pursuing championship gold in this company.

Susie: Yeah, and your performances against Chase have opened a lot of eyes, they’ve out you on the radar of not only the authority figures here in the IWC, but Unity as well.

Blayze: Well that’s a subject to discuss at another time. Let’s keep our focus on the match.

Susie: Oh, I guess that is what I’m paid for.

Dollar: Could of fooled me.

A stunned Haze rolls to the center of the ring finding HERSELF gasping for oxygen. She gets to her feet just as Ashley screeches and charges across the ring, delivering a big headbutt right to her opponent’s chest.

Dollar: Ashley making Haze pay for her oh so wicked ways. Employing Cassidy’s dirty tactics against her.

Ashley bends down over the laid out Cassidy and begins to scream directly into her face.

Ashley: Is this the way….the Dark Legacy way?

In spite of oxygen deprivation, Cassidy is able to choke out a few words.

Haze: Now you’re finally starting to get it little girl….hahahaha.

The more she chuckles, the more that Ashley is encouraged to strangle her. She drops down beside Cassidy and wedges hands to her throat, going al David Carridene by asphyxiating the life from her body.

Haze Yes-yes, that’s it dearie.

Ashley drags Cassidy along to her feet still holding her by the throat and then shoves her spine first into the ropes. Haze bounces off and rushes right back into a big back drop from Ashley, flipping her through the air where she catches a surprising amount of elevation before ultimately meeting with the canvas. Her hands go to her spine and Ashley’s hands go into the air, psyching both herself and the fans up.

Amanda: Ashley bringing a lot of spunk and energy into this match.

Dollar: That she is….she’s taking it to Cassidy….but oh, hey, it looks like your cell is going off, Blayze.

Amanda: I’ll answer it later.

Susie: Hey, it looks like you’re getting a text from Yvonne Knight.

Amanda: Oh boy, here comes the speculation.

Susie: Does this mean you HAVE been in consultation with Unity?

Amanda: Why did I ever put my phone on the announce table?

Dollar: Probably because your pants are too tight to fit anything into your pockets.

Ashley turns and watches Cassidy crawl towards the ropes, grabbing them as she begins her ascent. She is only allowed to reach her knees before Chase comes rushing in from behind, throwing all her weight into a crossbody to the upper back. This time Cassidy drops down out of the way though and causes Ashley to go flying THROUGH the ropes and twisting down rather heinously to the mats.

Her kidneys, her ribs, her spine all take quite a bit of punishment when colliding with the mats. She reaches for her multiple injuries and makes a valiant effort to reach her feet that is derailed by Cassidy. The Harley Quinn-esque Haze meets her opponent outside of the ring, takes Ashley across the sternum and then throws her spine first against the barrier.

Ashley crashes against the steel with even more force than she hit the mats. Haze gives her absolutely no time to embrace the severity of her injuries, grabbing Ashley by the hair, dragging her away from the barrier and then scoop slamming her with raw aggression across the thin protecting mats.

Dollar: AH! Haze flinging Chase down to the mats.

Susie: Cassidy so unhinged….so void of compassion…or empathy.

Blayze: And so void of integrity or honor.

Susie: The same type of integrity and honor you see from Unity, right?

Blayze: Yes. That is true. They do embody a lot of the principles I personally believe in. So I admit, Amanda Blayze and Unity together, it makes sense, but I’ve yet to decide rather it’s better to hunt solo or as part of a pack.

Dollar: You’re more of a solitary animal aren’t you?

Blayze: Well you don’t see me blowing up Twitter with like a thousand tweets a day do you? I’m admittedly a bit of an introvert. I prefer training as opposed to the whole party atmosphere. The wrestling ring is my nightclub.

Susie: But you can’t get X in a wrestling ring.

Blayze: Not true, you’ve seen all the druggings around here as of late.

Cassidy drags Ashley along to her feet and then snaps her over into a vertical suplex across the mats, resulting in another roar, this one of pain as opposed to aggression. Ashley is spent at this point after these multiple collisions with the mats, but doesn’t stay down for long, thanks to the actions of Cassidy. She pulls Chase along to her feet, and then leads her by the hair towards the ring, rolling her in under the ropes.

Though Haze has managed to somehow maintain focus on the action, she cannot help it any longer….turning eyes to Blayze at ringside.

Haze: Three blind mice, three blind mice…te-he.

Amada stirs….not out of discomfort, but out of anger.

Dollar: Looks like Cassidy is trying to get under your skin by referencing the eye rake that caused you to be eliminated at the End of the Year Special.

Blayze: I didn’t need an explanation, Johnny.

Dollar: You’re welcome nevertheless.

Blayze: This distraction isn’t going to hurt me, though.

Amanda was right on the money, cause Cassidy turns on the apron just in time to spot the inbound boot of Ashley, going for a thrust kick on the apron. But Haze pushes it aside just before it lands, sending her twisting around into a full circle. She pulls a full about face, turning towards Haze, who scoops her up onto her shoulder and is about to deliver the Michonoku Driver across the apron. But Ashley slips off the shoulder at the last second, landing behind Haze and then taking her around the waist.

Susie: This could be as gruesome as the fungus my pedicurist plucked from beneath my big toe nail.

Dollar: It’s gonna be a lot more gruesome than that if Ashley is able to hit the German off the apron.

Blayze: She better be careful with these German suplexes.

Excitement surges as Ashley finds herself on the cusp of destroying one of the women so instrumental in her moral degradation. However, the symphony of ruination carries on, as Haze nails a back elbow to Chase’s temple, breaking the rear waist lock and sending her opponent stumbling back. Cassidy then spins around and charges right into Ashley, wedging a shoulder to her ribs while powering her back first into the exposed steel turnbuckle post. Ashley bounces off of the post and staggers forth across the apron right into the waiting arms of Haze. Cassidy lifts her up and over her shoulders, preparing to deliver the Alabama Slam on the apron.

Somehow Ashley is able to twist her body enough so that she grab the top rope, preventing Cassidy from delivering her modified spinebuster on the apron. She then twists even further, ending up going over the ropes and dangling above the ring as opposed to the apron. Chase takes it a step further by wrapping her legs around Cassidy’s neck then reaching through the ropes and employing the cables to apply a modified octopus stretch.

Blayze: Where did she just bust that out of?

Dollar: A unique submission predicament by Ashley, reversing this into a stupendous variant on an octopus stretch around the ropes.

Now a 5 count is being used to force Ashley to break the hold….and she does it as close to five as possible so she can inflict as much punishment as humanly possible. Once the hold is broken Chase drops down to the canvas and then turns just as Cassidy tries to enter the ring. She gets about half way through when Ashley steps in, catches both of Haze’s arms, and is about to deliver the Name Dropper before Haze pushes forward. She steps between the ropes and back into the ring while pushing Chase in reverse, eventually driving her kidneys into the far turnbuckle and forcing her to break her attempt at the Name Dropper.

Haze then stands up with her head still under Ashley’s seat, forcing her to dangle over her back as she steps to the center of the ring, verging on delivering an Alabama Slam. Just before she can connect with the very move she missed on the apron, Ash counters again, this time sliding down Haze’s back, and catching her around the waist in the process.

She drops a shocked Cassidy down into a sunset flip.

And she gets….

1

2

But nothing more for her efforts, cause Cassidy rolls back to her feet and then rushes forward, getting caught around the head and having it forced beneath Ashleys seat. Chase quickly hooks both arms, setting up for the Name Dropper once again.

Just before the pedigree can connect, Cassidy stands up straight, back dropping Chase through the air. In mid-flight, Ashley transitions though, twisting her body and landing on her feet right behind her opponent. Haze then spins around just as Ashley is bouncing off the ropes and going for the Walk of Fame. She dashes right into the spear only to have Haze counter with a spinning powerslam, driving Ashley down to the canvas upon the very lower back that Cassidy has targeted multiple times throughout this match.

Haze then throws herself over Ashley’s chest and hooks the far leg

1

2

Ashley manages to get a shoulder up, preventing defeat.

Blayze: That’s another thing that’s deceptive about Ashley….she has a remarkable threshold for pain. I hit this woman with some of my most high impact moves, and she just kept kicking out.

Dollar: Hence why a lot of people are raving about your match against one another a few weeks ago, and are already wondering when there will be a rematch.

Blayze: I’d love to wrestle Ashley again, but right now, my mind is preoccupied with winning titles.

Though most athletes would be frustrated by this kick-out, Cassidy is not. She actually smiles instead of grimaces, getting to her knees and straightening Ashley’s hair.

Cassidy: Look at you, cutie-pie, fighting so hard, struggling so valiantly to be your sister’s equal. Yet you will never be a Taylor, or a Madison. You can be so much more….If you stop trying to follow their path.

Cassidy then leans down and speaks directly into Ashley’s ear.

Cassidy: Why not have some fun?

Instead of smoothing the hair, Haze yanks on it, dragging Chase along to her feet and then dragging her into position for the Haze Effect. Cassidy is seconds away from putting an end to Ashley via the spinning fireman’s carry slam….well….more like minutes at this point…..thanks to the knees that Chase is driving into Cassidy’s temple….okay….maybe never…because Chase manages to grab Cassidy around the jaw and spin her head around so that it’s tucked under her seat. She hooks both of Haze’s arms and then leaps into the air, connecting with the Name Dropper.

Dollar: Just when it seemed that Ashley was on the verge of defeat she pulls out the Name Dropper.

Amanda: And resiliency is yet another of her admirable qualities.

Susie: But this can’t be, because woman are only supposed to be capable of humping ring ropes and shaking their asses…according to Porno Lad that is.

Amanda: Don’t even get me started on that delusional crap. You know how I feel about women wrestlers being objectified….it’s the entire reason that Ashley and I put our all into that match against each other….to prove we’re more than just the sex items that certain authority figures and Porno Lad believe us to be.

Dollar: Chase no longer about to be a sex object, she’s about to be a winner.

Cassidy’s face is buried beneath Chase’s forearm as she goes for the pin.

1

2

The fans react with a ‘twwwwwoo’ chant when Cassidy kicks out even after suffering the Name Dropper.

Unlike Cassidy, Ashley does lose patience, and does drop her smile. She grabs Cassidy by the bangs, leading her along to her knees and then pointing into the ropes. She takes off into the cables, ricochets off and comes charging back in for the spear only to have Cassidy go for that spinning powerslam reversal, but somehow Ash is able to put the breaks on her own momentum, causing Haze to land on her back with nothing to show for her efforts. Ashley then reaches down, grabs Cassidy by the wrist and yanks up on her arm, forcing her up to her feet then taking her around the waist from behind.

She begins to drop back into the German only to have Haze reach up and take Ashley around the neck, countering into a snapmare. Ashley rolls forward across the canvas and onto her feet before surprisingly taking off right into the ropes, ricocheting off and building momentum for another spear. Cassidy cuts her off though, stepping forward, bending down and catching Ashley coming in against her shoulders. She stands up, letting Ashley hang upside down from her shoulders in position for the Alabama Slam but then just drops right down to her knees, spiking Chase on top of her head

Dollar: Kneeling back to belly piledriver delivered by Haze…..she might have snapped Chase’s neck.

Blayze: Again, there is no levels she will not stoop to.

Instead of going for a basic lateral press, Cassidy slithers in and places her bosom directly over Ashley’s face.

1

2

Ash reaches up and pushes on the jaw of her opponent, forcing her away and forcing her shoulder from the canvas in the process. She turns away from Cassidy, who is presently lying in wait, teetering from side to side, chomps being licked by her long pink tongue.

Susie: Things about to get nasty.

Amanda: No telling what this zombie slut is gonna do next.

Haze waits and waits and waits until she can’t wait any longer….finally swooping in and grabbing a handful of hair. She pulls Ashley up gives her a light slap on the cheek and then spins around into the heel kick to the skull. But Chase ducks just seconds before she could be inflicted with yet another splitting migraine. The momentum of her botched kick sends Cassidy spinning around right into position for the Gucci Drop. Ashley heaves Haze up onto her back and begins to step forward to deliver the backpack stunner only to have her opposition sip free from her clutches at the last conceivable second.

With mere moments to spare, Cassidy evades the stunner and drops down behind her opponent, rolling away….as far away as possible….meaning she spills under the ropes to put them between herself and her opponent.

Cassidy rolls to the outside of the ring and takes an unfortunate stumble into the announce table, falling across its surface.

Susie: Cassidy right out here in front of us.

Dollar: She almost fell right into my lap. Mmmmmm.

Blayze: Accident or no accident, she had best be advised to keep her distance.

A shaken up Cassidy has no idea what she’s doing it seems, even as her hand slips around Susie Moore’s water bottle. Just before she staggers back towards the ring, Cassidy takes a second to throw the water right into Amanda’s face.

Susie: HEY! That was Aquafina.

Dollar: Amanda just got a bath.

Blayze is too stunned to even speak as she looks down at the water spilling from her chin to her fashionable attire. Eventually her eyes raise from her clothes to soak in the smirk upon Cassidy’s face. The cackles of laughter only intensifies Amanda’s anger until she is finally prompted to rise from her seat and toss aside her head-set.

Dollar: This is not going to be good.

Susie: Can’t these two talk things out? Is that too much to ask?

Dollar: Yes….WAY too much.

The anger brewing in Blayze’s eyes gives no pause to the smirking Haze, save for her back peddling towards the ring…back peddling with something she discreetly removed from the table’s surface in her hand. It is stuffed into her corset when she then rolls back into the squared circle just as Chase comes barreling forward to nail that spear…..but the third and the fourth attempts are not the charm. Cassidy side steps her and turns her own momentum to her detriment. She side steps the inbound Chase and sends her flying through the ropes but this time Ashley lands on her feet and finds herself face to face with Blayze.

In spite of Chase’s apology, there seems to be some tension that is instantly detected by the crowd. Blayze is fuming at the moment even though she’s been cooled off by this dousing of water, and coming face to face with a woman who demanded she apologize for committing no misdeeds, does little to calm her nerves.

Ashley: We’ll talk later.

Chase turns her body away from Blayze, but not her eyes as she heads towards the ring. She makes it up to the apron just before Cassidy rushes in and delivers a knee through the ropes, landing against Ashley’s cheek and sending her flying back. It’s not the mats she connects with, but Blayze, landing right on top of the Huntress.

Dollar: Chase just knocked right into Amanda here at ringside.

Susie: I think the next time Amanda is asked to do commentary, she’ll probably turn down the opportunity.

Any semblance of patience is lost at this point as Amanda stands up and THROWS Ashley off of her…unintentionally sending her down hard to the mats. She clears any obstacles standing between herself and Cassidy Haze.

Dollar: Amanda is going right after Haze…..she’s through playing nicey nice.

As Amanda enters the ring the referee exits it, dropping down to access the severity of Ashley’s condition. He turns his back to Blayze dashing across the ring and almost ripping Cassidy in half via the spear. The full on impact lifts Cassidy up off of her feet and sends her flying back with Blayze going airborne as well.

Dollar: That had to have been the most brutal spear I’ve ever seen!

Susie: Cassidy was able to avoid Ashley’s spears, but for some reason, she just walked right into that one.

The official follows Ashley back into the ring.

Susie: Ashley looking to capitalize on that spear.

Dollar: After Amanda pretty much tore Cassidy in half with the spear.

Haze rolls across the canvas with something falling out of her corset….something resembling a cellular phone. Though she’s clouded by pain her mind still functions enough to reach down and pick up the phone, stuffing it back where it spilled from.

An aggravated Ashley rolls to the interior of the ring and one would think she’d be going straight after Haze, but instead she grabs Amanda by the shoulder and spins her right around so that their face to face. Before Ashley can say a word, it’s Amanda who unloads, pointing to the exterior of the ring where she and Ashley had their initial brush.

Amanda: What the hell was that all about, huh-huh?

Ashley: I’m through apologizing…..You put your hands on me first.

Amanda: I never touched you….AND….while we’re at it….I never once called you a flake.

The two continue to bicker back and forth….back and forth…watching their insults bounce off one another like paddles slinging a ping-pong ball between one another. The more these insults intensify the wider Haze’s grin grows. The exchange of insults turns into an exchange of fists as Blayze and Chase exchange shots giving the official no other recourse but to call for the bell.

Dollar: And for crying out loud…now the referee throws out the match because of Blayze’s interference.

Susie: Awww.

Dollar: These two ladies have lost it.

The exchange of fists continues with Haze watching the two go at it and hearing the bell chime in the background. It doesn’t even matter to her that she was disqualified, thoroughly enjoying the sight of the chaos that she managed to create.

LAST WEEK

P Clarence Whitman III is quite the dapper and debonair individual….embodied by his well-manicured mustache and three piece suit. He is a constant embodiment of refinement, hence why he looks so out of place wearing a flannel tuxedo. Clearly the suit hasn’t endeared itself to Whitman….who overlooks himself in a full length mirror. Normally his reflection would cause his heart to skip a beat, but this time it causes his stomach to wretch.

Whitman: I just do not believe this suit is…how do I put it….my style?

Simon: Really?

Why he allowed Cagero to tag along….wait….that’s completely inaccurate….cause he had no choice in the matter. Simon just kind of hopped into Whitman’s car without his consent and forced his company on the X-Class Champion.

Simon: I think you look like a sexy beast man.

Obviously Whitman does not concur.

Whitman: A flannel tuxedo….

Simon: Would be Al Boreland’s total wet dream.

Whitman:….is not proper attire for a wedding ceremony.

Simon: Maybe Lois will love it…..ya’ never know what these crazy church chicks are into….And what’s it matter anyway? Might as well as wear a joke tux for a joke wedding.

Whitman: A….oh….erm…joke wedding you say?

Simon: Obviously.

Cagero is currently overlooking a rack full of tuxedos, so he doesn’t see the look of consternation elongating Whitman’s face.

Simon: Never knew any man to go to such lengths just to get his dick wet.

Obviously Whitman is still unaccustomed to Simon’s oversexed and crude statements, hence why he peevishly glances about the Men’s Suit section of Macy’s, making sure none of the other shoppers can overhear.

Whitman: Dear Sir, I have you know my pending nuptials with Lois Prince are not merely to bag her.

Simon: You really are dedicated to this, aren’t you?

Currently Cagero is facing the plight of trying to squeeze a tuxedo jacket over his huge elbow brace.

Simon: I just hope you have a good divorce attorney to help you out when all is said and done.

Whitman: There is more to our relationship than mere shagging and the indulgence of carnal delights.

Simon: What?

Cagero could barely hear him over the sound of fabric tearing as it pulls down over his injured elbow.

Simon: That’s the only thing a relationship is good for, P-Wiggy. And marriage….all that is is guaranteed POT.

Whitman: I know I shall instantly regret asking this, but can you specify as to what ‘P.O.T’ means?

Simon: Pussy-On-Tap.

Whitman: I was so right to assume I would regret asking.

Focus returns back to the mirror and the reflection that causes Whitman such distress.

Simon: So you’re really going through with this then? Because I can think of a thousand easier ways for you to bleed the weed.

Whitman: I’m quite sure you do….but they are not avenues I wish to pursue. For I am presently a one woman man. Which should make mother quite happy.

Simon: Holy smokes…you still care what those fuckers who spat you from their loins think? I gave up on trying to make them happy at around age twelve when Mom tried to throw out my crates of porn.

Whitman: You do not know me as well as you would like to believe, Mr. Cagero. I live to please Mother….her wrath is not something you would want to incur.

Whitman begins searching the racks for a tuxedo that more closely matches his particular taste.

Whitman: And she should find it quite splendid that I am settling down with a good Christian woman and not gallivanting around town consorting with less reputable characters.

Simon: Dude, you escaped that pussy ages ago…..don’t let yourself remain trapped in that snatch.

Whitman: This wedding solves a number of problems, Simon. It’ll please Mother and Father, I’ll have a good woman forever by my side, and yes…..I’ll even have a chance to engage in some marital bliss with the ever so lovely Lois

Simon: So I see then that there is no talking you out of this?

Whitman: No, good sir. There isn’t. Besides, we’ve already secured the nicest banquet hall, and have started the arduous process of sending invitations.

Simon: Well….if there’s gonna be a wedding, I guess there’s only one thing left to decide.

Whitman: Oh?

The search through the racks is disrupted by Whitman’s worried glance in Simon’s direction. The second he takes his focus off of the rack, one of the suits seems to magically pop out…well….it’s not really that magical….considering it hangs from the end of a hand….belonging to an individual hidden behind the row of suits. Whitman absent mindedly takes the suit from the outstretched palm while keeping focus on Simon.

Simon: BACHELOR PARTY! Woot-woot!

Whitman: I’m afraid I must protest.

He says with a slight smile forming on his face.

Simon: Nope….if there’s one thing Simon knows how to do right, its throw an epic shindig. There’s gonna be strippers….booze….more strippers….dollar bills being taken out of your teeth by coochies….the whole nines…oh…..and strippers too.

Whitman: Well….if you insist….However, I implore you to keep proceedings relatively tamed.

Simon: Shouldn’t be a problem.

Now that that’s out of the way, Whitman is free to refocus on the tuxedo presently in his arms. Though he initially wonders how it got there, he quickly sees it for the sheer perfection that it is.

Whitman: Why this works quite wonderfully.

He moves to the dressing room to confirm his suspicions. Now he’s so wrapped up in his suit that he fails to notice the tuxedos left behind on the rack pulling back and Mr. Hush’s masked face emerging from the shadows. However, Mr. Hush quickly pulls back and drags the suits together to hide behind them. Why? To avoid being sighted by Simon Cagero, who also operates with the utmost discretion. He approaches a bag that Whitman left off to the side of the dressing rooms….which holds many of his personal belongings, including his antiquated flip phone. Simon flips it open and then scans the contacts before whipping out his own, far more high-tech I-Phone and copying the number of one of Whitman’s personal contacts.

Mr. Gaunt: Ladies, thank you for jumping off your menstrual cycles to take a seat in our witness stand this evening.

Anywhere….

Absolutely anywhere….

That’s where Unity would like to be….

Rather than being jammed into the witness stand, subjected to the questions of Mr. Gaunt and the defense attorney, Silence.

Kathryn: Listen here, you human tooth-pick, we’re not here to exchange insults….we’re here to testify on the IWC’s behalf.

Mr. Gaunt: Are you incapable of multi-tasking?

Ivy: No, because I’m more than capable of both testifying and ramming my boot into your crotch.

Mr. Gaunt: Why oh why didn’t I take those Himalayan testicle exercises?

Silence: Mrs. Pearson, Mrs. Knight, Mrs. Chase…..I speak on behalf of Legion, our esteemed No Holds Barred Champion, who wonders if he should be moved from apathy, and given a clear sense of direction. The three of you might be instrumental in helping to coax him into picking a side.

Yvonne goes to speak but the hand at her wrist, keeps from uttering anything impulsively.

Tay-Tay: Black Crusade, we understand that you don’t see eye to eye with management around here.

Mr. Gaunt: We do possess a certain zeal for making those in the authority’s life rather miserable.

Kathryn: Yeah-yeah, being a rebel is just so cool….back in 1999….

Knight: But those days are gone….they’re dead….they’re six feet under….

Tay-Tay: No one will think any less of the Black Crusade if they pick a side and choose to stem the tide of this anarchy that the likes of Ba’al and the Blacklist threaten to unleash. If you choose to stand beside Orlando Cruze and Unity, we can collectively put an end to these….these psychopaths.

Kathryn: Yeah, and we totally know it’s weird to fight one group of weirdos with another group of weirdos.

Mr. Gaunt: And there –in, exists a problem.

Unity is all ears.

Mr. Gaunt: If the Black Crusade decides to fully engage the Blacklist and Mr. Lord of Flies in open conflict, there will undoubtedly be quite a bit of escalation.

Silence: Meaning that in the process of trying to SAVE the IWC, we might just end up crippling it.

Mr. Gaunt: The term ‘mutually ensured destruction’ comes to mind. If we use Legion as our own personal atom bomb, there will be quite a bit of fallout, which will do irreparable damage to the entirety of the very federation you seek to protect.

Ivy: Gaunt….

Mr. Gaunt: Grrr….for the last time, that’s MISTER Gaunt.

Ivy: Apologies….MISTER Gaunt…but we’re not here to beg, we’re not here to grovel at your feet and plead for Legion’s assistance. We don’t need it.

This declaration doesn’t even lead to a batting of Mr. Gaunt’s eye.

Ivy: Sure, the Black Crusade have their methods….

Kathryn: You freakazoids are capable of employing the same type of oogie boogie and hocus pocus that Ba’al uses….

Ivy: Which would come in handy if Ba’al, Foxx, and the rest of team ‘smoke cigarettes behind the gym and recite really crappy poetry’ decide to condemn the entire IWC.

Tay-Tay: But again, we’re not about to get down on our knees and BEG for your help. We’re more than capable of fighting this battle on our own. I’ve handled the Blacklist in the past.

Kathryn: And though Ba’al is all Robert Angier, Alfred Bolden and David Copperfield rolled into one….

Tay-Tay: But nowhere near as cute.

Ivy: This UNITED front, can deal with him too…Did you girls see what I did there? Did ya, did ya?

Kathryn: Ivy, we so need to work on your use of puns.

Silence and Mr. Gaunt absorb and process this influx of information but have clearly yet to reach a decision….further prodding is a necessity.

Silence: Tell us, why it would be in our best interests to stand beside management?

No words are spoken, the glances exchanged between all three ladies doing all their talking for them.

Kathryn: We get that you and Orlando don’t read from the same book.

Mr. Gaunt: I’d be surprised if Orlando read anything that didn’t have sticky pages featuring nude bodes.

Kathryn: But ask yourselves, would you rather trust the devil you know or the devil you don’t?

Ivy: You have no idea what the likes of Ba’al, and the Blacklist are truly capable of without the likes of Orlando Cruze being here to keep them in check.

Kathryn: And Lando might have been a total ass bandit a few weeks ago, but he’s coming around, he’s evolving….Much like Tay-Tay, he’s grown as a human being these past few months and begun to see the error of his ways.

Ivy: The guy clearly has a vision…and the RIGHT vision this time…let’s give him a chance to see it through to fruition.

More processing, more indecisiveness.

Silence: Mrs. Chase.

Tay-Tay is finally torn away from her cellular phone.

Silence: You know, Mr. Cruze better than any of us. So what benefit would it be to the Black Crusade to aid him against this latest pestilence.

Tay-Tay: Mr. Gaunt, Silence….look at what the Blacklist has done over the past few months. They’ve managed to burn a human being alive, they’ve taken another’s eye, and they buried Cruze in a shallow grave. And on top of that, they’ve shown a penchant for manipulation. They’ve tried on so many occasions to drive a wedge between myself and Orlando Cruze…..to divide us….Ultimately they’ll do the same to the Black Crusade.

Kathryn: It’s not like you all haven’t already been dragged into the middle of this. You’ve been fighting the Blacklist for months on end.

Mr. Gaunt: True, but we’ve yet to truly ‘go all in.’ For if we did, this company, and those who view it, would never be the same.

Ivy: Maybe it’s a risk worth taking. Because if you fail to react, then Ba’al, and the forces they conspire with….

Kathryn: The Blacklist.

Ivy:….will eventually take the option right out of your hands. You’ll become another of their victims, and this company we believe in, will fall into total ruination.

Kathryn: So you can decide to either sit on the sidelines and let that happen, or you can take a proactive stand and keep this from happening.

Tay-Tay: Love it or hate it, the IWC should not be condemned to execution. They offer you a place to be yourselves….

Mr. Gaunt: Arguable.

Kathryn: Who else would tolerate the Black Crusade….short answer…nobody.

Ivy: This company has an opportunity to be something truly great, and you can make sure it reaches its potential.

Tay-Tay: So, don’t sit idle while the company collapses under the weight of Ba’al’s boot.

Kathryn: It’ll ultimately be a decision you regret.

Other business takes precedence, hence why Unity accelerates this testimony, making their parting comments.

Tay-Tay: You might not believe that the IWC, and its roster, is worth saving, but we can prove you wrong. We can prove that this company isn’t comprised of a bunch of spineless, delusional egotists.

Kathryn: There are people here who do have courage.

Ivy: And we’re about to prove that right now.

Tay-Tay: Maybe, even though you don’t particularly like us, our actions will shake you from your apathy.

The trio steps down from the stand, leaving the Black Crusade with much to debate. They stop just short of the door though, Ivy stopping Kathryn from fully opening it.

Ivy: Um, Kat, where are you going?

Kathryn: Same place as you.

Tay-Tay: Sorry, but that’s not gonna happen.

Kathryn: Wait….what?

Tay-Tay: You’ve got an X-Class Title match to prepare yourself for. We can deal with Frankie and the Blacklist.

Kathryn: Are you two smoking crack? I’m not about to let you go out there by yourselves.

Ivy: And we’re not about to let you jeopardize your title shot by getting injured.

Kathryn: But….but.

Tay-Tay: No buts! You went through too much, you endured too many hardships to get this title shot against P Clarence Whitman III…..

Ivy: So don’t blow it now in the final hour. Keep your mind on your match and let us deal with the rest.

Kathryn: I….

Ivy: Shhhh…shhhh…

A finger wedges directly to Pearson’s lips.

Kathryn: HEY!

The hand is batted away.

Kathryn: I saw where you had that finger earlier.

Though her compressed ribs might make it difficult to breathe, Cassidy still manages to skip through the backstage corridor, wincing with each step. Each step….skip….bringing her closer to the shadowy door-frame where Brittany Lohan and Typhoid Mary have taken residency.

Haze: Did I do it right, Boss-Lady?

The smile on Brittany’s face is the only answer she needs. But yet another chilling statement is uttered.

Lohan: Things are progressing along quite nicely.

And now it’s Cassidy who grins, quite pleased to hear a kind word slip through the teeth of the Blue Eyed Devil.

Mallory: Do you have it?

Haze: Oh yeah.

She removes a cell-phone from her corset and tosses it to Lohan.

Lohan: Excellent.

She holds up Amanda Blayze’s phone and begins to play around with it.

No more flannel suits or fancy tuxedos, P Clarence Whitman III replacing them with his traditional button down three piece ensemble, and of course, the X-Class Championship. The belt is slung over one shoulder and a tux is flung over his arm while a phone is pressed to his ear. He moves through the corridor absent of thought as he gabs into the cellular.

Whitman: I think my love-munchkin will be rather overjoyed to see the tuxedo I selected. Oh, it is spiffy, and manages to accentuate my glorious biceps.

He pauses to hear the voice of his Uncle droning on and on. Some of the pigment fades from Whitman’s face.

Whitman: Pardon me?

More loss of color.

Whitman: Well yes, I thought she would be enthused to hear of my engagement.

The veins in his temple can literally be seen two stepping.

Whitman: So Mother is upset with me?

The veins are breakdancing.

Whitman: She refuses to give her blessing?

The veins behave as if they’re in a mosh pit.

Whitman: This is not well….not well at all. It could derail the entire wedding. Why is she so opposed to….?

An answer before the question could be finished.

Whitman: And who is this mysterious caller who has been phoning Mother day and night? What is it that he’s told my dear Mother about my wife to be?

Color returns…albeit of a bright red variety.

Whitman: So someone has been calling Mother, day noon and night spewing mistruths about my precious Lois, and yet you have not a clue who this fiend is?

Before Whitman can play Sherlock and get to the bottom of this mystery, his focus is derailed by the greasiest of faces. The Stagehand stands before Whitman reflecting the X-Class Champion’s face via his oily epidermis.

Stagehand: Excuse me…..

Whitman: Oh my….

Whitman is aghast at the sight before him.

Whitman: My humblest apologies sir, but were you involved in some type of accident?

Stagehand: Erm….no. Why do you ask?

Whitman: No reason.

Stagehand: Mr. Whitman, I’m here to inform you that the locker-room has been moved this evening due to some type of break in a water pipe.

Whitman: Glorious.

As if Whitman could handle further aggravation.

Whitman: So what janitorial closet will I be expected to dress in this evening?

Stagehand: Just follow these directions.

A piece of paper with a map crudely drawn on it is forked over to the cowardly Clarence.

Whitman: There had better be plenty of space to accommodate my tuxedo.

The map isn’t taken, it’s GRABBED out of the palms of the greasy little fella before Whitman takes his leave.

The X-Class Champion might be emotionally aggravated, but Lilly Lyman is physically distressed. She sits on a chair backstage running hands over her hair and trying to resist giving into the pain coursing through her neck. But an even greater pain presents itself at the moment…..in the form of the one eyed wonder, Hurse. It takes a moment for her to even realize that the eye-patch sporting Hurse is stooped before her, face mere inches away from her cheek.

Hurse: Hello, Lilly.

Lyman jumps when she sees Hurse so dangerously close to her face. She then turns to take her leave before finding herself staring down Robin Brooks, who is also crouched at her opposite side.

Robin: How are you doing, sweetheart?

Lil: What do you two want?

Hurse: To talk is all.

Lil: About what?

Hurse: Our issues with your family.

Lil: My family?

Robin: Yep, the entire Chase clan.

Lil: I’m in no mood to talk at the moment.

Smiles form over the faces of both Brooks and Hurse.

Hurse: That’s okay, we’ll do all the talking then.

Robin: And you can just sit there and listen.

One of Lil’s hairs finds its way twirling around Robin’s finger before being yanked from her clutches.

Lil: Ya know, this is starting to get a little ridiculous. Just because I’m related to Taylor Chase, it doesn’t mean we’re all that close. So why does everyone want to use ME to try and get to HER? First I’m threatened with maggots and now I have you two weirdos in my face.

Hurse: No, Dear, what’s ridiculous is that you, and the rest of your family are crippling MY company.

Robin: People like you, and your sisters, have done nothing but distract Orlando from dealing with the things most important.

Hurse: Do you see this….

The eye-patch is flipped back to reveal the white and veiny spot where his pupil USED to be.

Hurse:….THIS….is because of people like YOU.

Robin hand slaps down hard on Lilly’s shoulder.

Hurse: If Orlando wasn’t running around making kissy face with Taylor Chase and selfishly trying to keep his mitts on the World Championship, he would have been there to have my back against the Blacklist, and we could have dealt with them, then and there.

Lil: Okay, how am I blame for any of that. Not connecting the dots here people.

Robin: You are, you’re all to blame!

Hurse: Orlando allowed my eye to be taken, and now he and Taylor are going to have to watch as we take everything he loves, away from him.

Robin: And be forewarned dear, we’ll be starting with you.

Is there a problem here?

Hurse and Brooks are torn away from their intimidation tactics, shifting attention to the figure who just so happened to stumble upon this conversation.

Hurse: No problem at all, Mr. Darko.

The man who now stands before Hurse, Brooks and the seated Lyman, is the recently signed, Danny Darko. He tilts his head and examines the trio, reading their emotions and trying to read their minds.

Darko: You two wouldn’t be trying to threaten Lilly here, would you?

Hurse: I fail to see how that’s any business of yours.

Darko: Not surprising, by your appearance it seems you have trouble seeing much of anything.

The jab at his eye-patch will not be ignored. But before there can be much in the way of a reaction, Robin interjects.

Robin: Let’s go Steven….pleasure meeting you, Darko.

Darko: The pleasure was all mine.

Although Hurse would like to stick around and further engage Darko in conversation, Robin will have none of it, forcing her love down the corridor and away from this menacing individual. Unfortunately for Lilly, this leaves her alone with the very man who took years off the career of her half-sister, World Heavyweight Champion, Taylor Chase. Darko doesn’t say anything, he just methodically turns his head towards Lyman and smiles.

CAN YOU HEAR ME BOYS?

Through the curtains strides the three loveliest and most talented ladies on the roster. Yvonne Knight, World Champion Taylor Chase and Kathryn ‘won’t listen to reason’ Pearson, who just HAS to make her way to the ring alongside her teammates. Bonded together the trio embark down the ramp amidst roars of approval from the crowd.

Dollar: Some of the new faces making their presence known here in the IWC, Danny Darko amongst them. But Unity about to make their presence known as well.

Susie: And in spite of the pleas of her teammates, Kathryn Pearson is right here alongside them.

Dollar: They are truly showing a united front this evening as they come to this ring for a variety of reasons.

Susie: Some grievances are about to be aired and we’re not even on Maury Povich. Do you think there’s going to be some paternity results too?

Dollar: You never know what to expect here in the IWC.

Though they’re together in the ring it doesn’t appear their together in thought, considering that Yvonne is still trying to rationalize with Kathryn, but she will not be anywhere that isn’t at the side of her ‘sisters.’ Taylor Chase doesn’t even try to talk sense into Pearson, preoccupied with taking the microphone and clearing her mind. She is about to speak only to have her voice drowned out by the crowd’s chants of ‘Unity.’

Tay-Tay: It might be freezing here in New York, but it’s red hot inside the Manhattan Center tonight!

An even louder and riotous reaction.

Tay-Tay: Alright….it’s time to get down to business. Unity is here to reveal our New Years resolutions.

Somehow this manages to get the fans even more excited, especially as Pearson is handed the microphone and gets a few words in.

Kathryn: And our first resolution is to start blinging.

A palm caresses the World Championship over Tay-Tay’s shoulder.

Kathryn: Unity is going for all the gold this year. Each of us are going to proudly represent the IWC as champions. It started with Taylor and the World Championship, it continues tonight when I bring home the X-Class gold…but that’s not good enough….Cause Yvonne and I, we’re going for Tag Team Titles…

Hot potato is played with the microphone, which finds its way to Yvonne.

Ivy: And I think I might look pretty darn hot wearing the Evolution Championship….wouldn’t you agree, Manhattan?

The fans are in unanimous agreement.

Kathryn: Babe, you look hot in whatever your wearing. Actually, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would like to see you wear even less.

Ivy wages a finger at Kathryn before proceeding.

Ivy: Another of our resolutions is to finish out 2014 not only holding all the major championships, but fulfilling the mandate we put on ourselves to bring respect, honor, and nobility to the initials I…W….C!

Another forfeiture of the microphone, which finds its way back to Taylor.

Tay-Tay: And our last resolution for 2014, has nothing to do with cutting back on trans-fats.

Kathryn: I’m a pizza-whore ladies, deal with it.

Tay-Tay: No, we’re not cutting back, we’re cutting out….cutting the Blacklist right out of this company.

More support, louder cheers. This time Taylor doesn’t hesitate until the fans have this out of their systems.

Tay-Tay: Mika Kozlov is out of my life for good…But that’s not good enough. Cause no one is safe, not me, not Ivy, not Kathryn, not Orlando, not anyone I love or care about….and they won’t be until the Blacklist is gone. So Unity here by declares that we will take out the Blacklist and save the IWC in the process.

She keeps on trucking along even through all the loud expressions from the fans.

Tay-Tay: The Blacklist aren’t the only ones that need dealing with though. There’s another annoyance that I need to rid from my life once and for all. That being you, Franklin Paradise.

The fun and frivolity ends after the mere mention of Frankie’s name.

Tay-Tay: Frankie, you and I need to have a conversation, and it starts right now.

Kathryn; Get out here you twisted little troll and let’s see this issue end…..

MONSTER

The music leads to a predictable response….a hailstorm of boos and a myriad of insults…Though the Blacklist should in hindsight consider themselves lucky, considering that if security weren’t there to intervene, far worse things than words be hurled at the trinity. Lukas Montgomery leads the way, Evolution Championship flung over his shoulder. He is then followed by Mika Kozlov and Aaron Harrison, the two arm in arm, hooked up at the elbow.

Dollar: And there goes the mood.

Susie: Vibe officially killed.

Dollar: The Blacklist out here to rain on the sunny day.

Susie: I don’t think that’s rain, Johnny D, pretty sure their urinating on our heads.

Dollar: Well you’re probably used to it by now.

The defecation is not physical but verbal….Lukas laying into the three ladies presently in the ring with words rather that are just as disgusting as balls of fecal matter.

Montgomery: Well now, aren’t the three of you just a tad worked up?

Ivy: You know, Lukas, there is a ring under our feet right now, you’re more than welcome to come down here, step inside and find out just how worked up we are.

Montgomery: Mmmmm, feisty….I do like a little fight out of my women.

Skin=crawling.

Montgomery: And you three look like you’re ready to put up a struggle.

Kathryn: The only struggle will be getting my stiletto out of your ass.

Montgomery: Wow…kinky….Seriously, I just went from six to midnight….But before we do the no pants dance, Katie, how about you give the Blacklist an opportunity to announce our own New Year’s Resolutions? Only fair right?

Tay-Tay: We’re not about to stand here and listen to anything you sick freaks have to say.

Mika: Taylor…..why?

The quintessential puppy dog expression is employed.

Mika: Why do you keep hurting my feelings? For as long as I can remember, you’ve treated me so poorly, when all I’ve ever wanted to do was protect you.

Tay-Tay: Didn’t we cover this at the End of the Year Special?

Mika: No…because you refused to hear me out. Those two sookas beside you, have warped your mind…just like those cheerleaders you hung around with in high-school. There a bad influence on you.

Ivy: WE’RE a bad influence?

Mika: Yes, just look at all the trouble the two of you have managed to get Taylor into. She was doing just fine before you two came along and started to brainwash her. She won the World Heavyweight Title, she became the top trending star in all of social media, and she was starting to come around to embrace her true family…

Tay-Tay: The hell? I never….

Mika: Everything was going just fine, up until Unity and Orlando Cruze came along, and began to twist your fragile mind. They made you turn against your personal beliefs…beliefs that made you the World Heavyweight Champion in the first place…..And have managed to turn you against the family that loves and worships you.

Tay-Tay: Again….I hate to be repetitive, but you have NO idea what family OR love is.

Harrison: That’s enough, Taylor!

Aaron wraps an arm around Mika’s head and muffles her ears by cupping one with his palm and pressing the other against his chest.

Harrison: How dare you treat your adoring sister so poorly. Have you no idea what this woman has sacrificed on your behalf? She had me push you to your physical limit at Upping the Ante, which resulted in you becoming a stronger World Heavyweight Champion, and gave instant legitimacy to your title reign. Plus, Mika has sent me down a path to eradicate the monster that is Orlando Cruze, and keep him from leading you to your own destruction.

Kathryn: Taylor didn’t ask for any of that….you freaks forced it on her.

Ivy: She didn’t need you to make her a ‘legitimate’ World Champion, and she certainly doesn’t need you meddling in her love-life.

Tay-Tay: What they said.

Harrison is almost beside himself with an uncharacteristic flash of anger.

Harrison: Mika and the Blacklist have done EVERYTHING for you, Taylor. We’ve given up so much to protect you….to keep Orlando from hurting you….and to open your eyes to the fact that those two ladies in the ring are turning you into somebody you’re not. Taylor Chase, the Scarlet Socialite, isn’t someone who cares about rules, about honor….about any of that bullshit….but you’re so desperate to fit in with the in-crowd, to be little Mrs. Popularity, that once again, your masquerading yourself as someone you are not, and in the process, your dumping all over the one person who actually wants you to be the true Taylor Chase.

Mika: You’ve hurt me for the last time, Taylor.

Kozlov pulls away from Harrison’s chest so that she can hear the words emanating from her mouth…words she’s been dying to get off her chest.

Mika: I may have been as loyal as a pooch over the years, but that’s no reason for you to treat me like a dog. It’s time you learned that you can’t take me for granted. I demand your respect, and I demand that you stop lying to yourself.

Montgomery: And that’s where I come in.

Lukas smiles so wide it could cut his head in two….flashing pearly whites bright enough to light a Christmas tree.

Montgomery: I’m going to be the instrument that compels you to start behaving like the Taylor of old….and in the process…..makes you suffer in the same way that you’ve made your adoring sister suffer. At Last Stand, it’s going to be Taylor Chase versus Lukas Montgomery for the World Heavyweight Championship….

Mika: And Malishka….it’s going to be contested inside of a STEEL CAGE!

Dollar: Massive announcement just made….Lukas Montgomery going to challenge Chase for the Championship at Last Stand, inside of a cage.

Susie: I think I just pooped my panties.

Montgomery: At the pay-per-view, I shall feast upon the carrion.

Harrison: Truly, because you might not even make it to the pay-per-view, Chase. After our tag team match this evening, what little meat we leave on the bone, will be devoured within the confines of the cage.

Montgomery: You took from Mika, what she values the most in this world, so we’re going to take from you what you prize above all else.

Harrison: The Blacklist will stop pulling punches….will stop taking it easy on Tay-Tay….and we will devote all of our energy into making you as miserable as you’ve made your sister.

Mika: And it starts tonight, Malishka….When the Blacklist battles Unity…..and you feel the wrath of a sister scorned.

“MONSTER” blares once again through the PA system as Harrison and Kozlov back through the curtains. Montgomery doesn’t take his leave along with his cohorts, instead he lingers behind on the stage in order to glare at Kathryn Pearson. All the while he pantomimes holding a phone beside his ear and mouths the words.

Montgomery: Don’t forget to call.

The only thing that Kathryn is gonna call Lukas, are not words that can be repeated on national television. She ignores the disgusting come-ons from Montgomery in order to address her Unity stable-mates, the three consorting in strategy.

Dollar: It looks like the Blacklist is through trying to protect Taylor Chase…..they’ve taken a complete 180 and are now out to ruin her.

Susie: She never should have turned down Mika’s requests to be part of the Chase family. Believe me, the last thing in the world you want to do is piss off, Mika Kozlov.

Dollar: And tonight, Unity might just learn that in the harshest way imaginable.

The stage has now been set for this evening’s main event….when Unity and Blacklist meet in what promises to be a fatal collision.

The Tag Team Championship belt just doesn’t glisten…it shines like a mother.

The most expensive brand of varnish one can buy being used to make the gold sparkle…sparkle….SPARKLE. It provides a mirror reflection of Adam Chase’s face.

Gavin: Um, Adam.

Even the words of his All-Star client cannot force Adam to remove his focus from the title stretched between his palms.

Gavin: Adam…..heeellooo…

Taylor steps behind and then to the side of his agent, waving hands around his head

Gavin: Will I ever get to hold my belt?

Chase: Oh…oh yes…of course…here.

The championship is finally relinquished

Chase: Though it is quite beautiful, I’m afraid its proving more trouble than its worth.

Gavin: Oh?

Chase: Yeah….ummm…procuring the other half of the belts hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would.

Taylor doesn’t care at the moment, far too preoccupied now that he’s caught his OWN reflection in the surface of the belt.

Gavin: What’s the hold out?

Chase: As if you even need to ask.

Gavin: Porno Lad?

Chase: Of course my boy, of course. The man is just as stubborn as he is chauvinistic. I’ve tried bribing him into giving me the other half of the Tag Team Titles, I’ve tried blackmailing him….but nothing seems to work…The guy won’t give up the goods…..He’s like a stuck up prom date or something.

Gavin: Adam, you fail to realize that some people can’t be bought over by money or can’t be threatened….some people just want the recognition of being a champion….at absolutely any price.

Adam is about to say something but bites his tongue when seeing Gavin adding even more polish to the surface of the title.

Gavin: Maybe I should just give in and accept Porno Lad and TPKid as my partners….go through with that whole Free Birds rule thing they had dreamt up.

Chase: Absolutely not. Under no circumstances are you to associate with either of those two men….They are far beneath your station….And I will NOT see your reputation ruined by consorting with them.

Gavin: Well then….it seems we’ll have to take another stab at this on New-Age, considering that Porno Lad has presumably fled the building.

<PChase: I’ll find a way, Gavin, don’t worry, we WILL have both belts in our possession soon enough, and then I can work on finding you a SUITABLE partner.

Gavin: Not gonna be easy trying to find someone who can match my level of talent.

Chase: No doubt about it….

Andre: Hey fellas….

Neither Gavin nor his agent are very receptive to the intrusion of Andre Jordan. He peeks into their private dressing room before tentatively entering.

Gavin: Are you lost?

Andre: Nah guys….my bad…just looking for someone is all.

Gavin: Well you’re not about to find them here….now get to steppin’.

Andre was already on his way out, but not anymore.

Andre: You need to learn a thing or two about hospitality, Chief.

<PChase: We’re discussing serious business at the moment, so if’ you’d kindly show yourself to the door….

<PAndre As soon as I find out if either of you have stashed Silverstone somewhere.

Chase: Silverstone?

A nod.

Chase: Tabitha Silverstone?

Two nods and a thumbs up.

Chase: Although we’d really love to know where she is at the moment, we don’t, so we’re not going to be of very much use to you.

Gavin: So how about you hit the bricks ugly. I swear Adam….

He completely ignores Andre at this point, acting like he’s totally non-existent.

Gavin: Have these low life’s and bottom feeders absolutely no appreciation for privacy?

Andre: Thanks for your help.

Andre manages to FORCE them to pay attention.

Andre: I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other around.

Gavin: Why are you STILL here?

There is a smirk and headshake from the departing Jordan.

Whitman: Where in the world is it…..hmmmm….huh? Where?

Whitman is beyond frustrated….and the longer he has to search for the make-shift locker-room, the greater that frustration grows.

Whitman: If that diminutive lout led me astray I shall have harsh words for him.

The X-Class Champion with title and tux in his arms tries to follow the map in his hands….but he has not an easy time of it.

Whitman: Let’s see…if this Crayola rendering is accurate, I should just about be to my accommodations.

He looks up to the door and manages to produce a smile.

Whitman: Ah yes….this should be it here.

The door knob is twisted and into the room steps an eager Whitman. His skin loses color, and his veins are back to doing that dance, when he finds himself glaring into the faces of Ba’al and Rachel Foxx.

Whitman: Oh….um….erm…..wrong room.

Whitman backs into the door but finds himself instead bumping into the chest of Jaina Frost. He leaps forward with heart lunging into his throat, and fists raised at the ready. Ultimately all he does is watch as the door is pushed close and Jaina cuts off her only means of escape.

Jaina:….P Clarence Whitman III.

The sentence that trailed off moments earlier is at last finished, and Whitman doesn’t like nor understand its conclusion. Things become clearer and far less comfortable for the X-Class Champion when Ba’al takes it upon himself to provide said clarity

Ba’al: You’ve been called to testify, Mr. Whitman, so take the stand.

Whitman: I would really rather prefer….

Ba’al: Yes-yes, and I’d really rather prefer not to have these nice carpets ruined.

To the stand rushes Whitman….realizing precisely what was going spill and stain the carpet….and he much prefers his blood inside of his body.

Frankie: Time-out….back up the gravy train…..

The iphone wedged to his ear is the sole line of communication between Frankie Paradise and the highly critical Board of Directors. Their persistent nitpicking has Frankie looking more perturbed than when his Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition was lost in the mail…..hence why he paces just beyond the gorilla position and makes a number of lewd gestures that are unseen by the Board.

<PFrankie: I stand by what I did to Nathan Creed, it was good for business, and it set down a precedent to the rest of the roster that nobody is above the law and there will be no favoritism.

The gesturing continues as Frankie makes a jerking off motion.

Frankie: Why are we even having this conversation? What we should be talking about is what that psychotic bald bastard did to me with a kendo-stick at the End of the Year Special. Here I am deep in the trenches, trying to keep the federation from exploding into all out warfare, and yet Orlando is running around like some Leather-Face wannabe attacking those in authority. If that’s not grounds for his immediate removal as President of the IWC, then I don’t know what is. I mean, you guys did just give him his job back on a trial basis, and even flat out told him he was walking a tight rope….which isn’t easy giving how unbalanced that huge chrome dome must make him.

He listens with a roll of his eyes.

Frankie: But I had nothing to do with that whole buria by the Blacklist….I have absolutely NO association with those three….none at all……Wait, I’ll call you back….I’m ummmm….entering a tunnel.

A cringe consumes his face as he repeatedly hits the ‘end call’ button on his screen.

Frankie: Just what in Jupiter’s cock do you three think your doing?

Mika Kozlov, Aaron Harrison and Lukas Montgomery were on their way to the back after making a series of stunning revelations…..which seem to have shocked Paradise greater than anyone else.

Harrison: Franklin! How are you doing, buddy boy?

An arm wraps around the aggravated Paradise’s neck.

Frankie: Not good. Not after what I just saw in the ring.

Montgomery: Uh-oh, what did we do to upset you, Paradise? I could die….seriously, give me a sword to throw myself onto.

Frankie: The three of you just went out there and announced a World Title match without my consent. Wha…..what…..what makes you guys think you can just arbitrarily do something like that without talking to me first.

Mika: Because, krasivyy, the Blacklist was under the impression that we had that type of relationship.

Harrison: Yeah, Frankie, I thought we were buds….That we had your trust…..

Frankie: Well…erm.

Harrison: Hence why you’ve been the only authority figure we haven’t maimed.

Mika: We like you, Frankie, hence why we keep looking out for your cute little backside.

Montgomery: So we thought, since we’ve saved you from Orlando, and helped you make Taylor Chase the World Champion a couple months ago, that you owed us….

The tighter the squeeze of his neck by Harrison’s arm, sends the appropriate message to an increasingly uncomfortable Frankie.

Frankie: Okay, fine…Lukas Montgomery versus Taylor Chase, World Title match inside of a Steel Cage….I’ll make it official. But now we’re even Steven…

A grin is exchanged between the trinity.

Harrison: Are we now? Because the way we see things, Frankie, you still owe us quite a bit more.

Montgomery: We believe you’re eternally indebted to the Blacklist.

Mika: And you wouldn’t want to welch on that debt.

Harrison: Otherwise you might just UPSET us….and you wouldn’t want to upset your friends, now would you?

Harrison tussles Frankie’s precious fro.

Frankie: I wouldn’t dream of rocking this boat.

Harrison: That a boy.

The blacklist parts ways with Frankie, Harrison and Mika moving along but Montgomery once again lingering. Just before he follows his ‘family,’ Lukas steps up into Frankie’s face.

Montgomery: HA!

Frankie jumps back and then closes his eyes, taking a deep…DEEP breath.

From one door to the other proceeds Andre Jordan, knocking, twisting the knobs and then peeking inside.

Andre: Hello….Tabitha Silverstone….where are you?

There is no fear or hesitance shown by Jordan to be more than a little intrusive, indiscriminately searching one room after another. This search ends when his eyes drift down the corridor and spot a masked figure stepping into a room with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. The puzzles pieces are assembled and Andre connects all the necessary dots. He steps towards the room just entered by this face-less client and then cracks his knuckles….preparing himself for any contingency.

The door is swung open and Andre finds his target seated inside, Tabitha sipping on coffee and not even raising her eyes from the contract on the table before her. Her focus on the documents is unwavering, even as she raises her hand and gestures for Andre to step inside. The masked figure who brought her the coffee now brings her a chair, situating it on the opposite side of the table.

Tabitha: Hello, Andre, please…take a seat.

Jordan is naturally skeptical but surprisingly takes her up on the offer. He slips into the chair across from Tabitha, but can’t get comfortable.

Tabitha: I understand you’ve been looking for me.

Andre: You heard correctly.

The contract is now raised from the table’s surface.

Tabitha: And you’ve been looking for this?

Andre: Well aren’t you a smart lady?

Tabitha: Much smarter than your friend, Alana, is willing to give me credit for.

Andre: You would have to be.

Tabitha: I know she is a little suspicious of me….

Andre: Who wouldn’t be? Normal people don’t usually associate with a bunch of S&M, Pulp Fiction rejects.

Andre says this even while one of these masked gimps is offering him some freshly baked cinnamon buns.

Andre: No thanks, will go straight to my thighs.

Tabitha: Truly, Andre, I’m only looking out for Tabitha’s best interests.

Andre: Because you want to use her to get back at Brittany Lohan, right? For what she did to your client.

<PTabitha: To be honest, yes. Our common hatred for Lohan is what initially drew me to her……But the more I’ve gotten to know Alana, the more respect and admiration I’ve developed for her.

<PAndre: Oh?

Tabitha: It’s like I told her last week, I don’t want to see someone of her skill abused by the powers that be. Someone possessing her talents deserves everything that is coming to her, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she gets it.

Andre: Right now, the only thing she wants is Brittany Lohan.

Tabitha: And she’s going to get Lohan….But not on Brittany’s terms….not after she’s been baited into signing…this..this….abomination!

The contract is thrown back down to the table and ends up right in front of Andre

<PTabitha: I think you should read the highlighted portions of that ‘contract’ and you’ll see why it was so beneficial of me to interfere on Alana’s behalf.

Though still tentative, Andre sees no harm in picking up the contract and examining it.

Tabitha: And you know what, Andre, I have certain sources that have allowed me to look into OTHER contracts.

Her vague statement resonates with Andre, who’s eyes slowly drift from the parchment in his hands to the smile on Silverstone’s face.

SILVERSTONE INTERNATIONAL VS. BRITTANY LOHAN & ALANA STARR

“Born 2 Run” by 7Lions plays throughout the arena….

A pyro of Shooting stars begin to scream across the top of the arena with a loud bang….

Alana Starr walks out wearing her old luchador mask ….

She smiles at the fans and makes her way to the ring stopping and high fiving the crowd….

She finds a youngster, takes off her mask and puts it on their head showing off her beautiful face….

Alana pauses for a second soaking up the cheers of the crowd as she quickly runs to the ring and springboards through the ropes….

She jumps on the turnbuckle and points to the fans smiling…..

Alana moonsaults off the top rope in the middle of the ring and stands there smiling and waving while the fans cheer…..

She stands back in the corner and awaits her opponent…..or more accurately, her partner for the evening.

Dollar: Alana Starr finally ready to compete….now that she’s been ‘medically cleared’ to wrestle….

Susie: When it was convenient to Frankie….I mean NOW she’s healthy enough to wrestle because Frankie wanted to put her in a match to punish her?

Dollar: And it’s not in the match that she wanted either. She’s here for Brittany Lohan and Brittany Lohan only, but every time that she gets close to FINALLY locking up with the woman who injured her in GDW, something or someone interferes. Tonight, that someone was Tabitha Silverstone….

EARLIER TONIGHT

We are forced to relive the contract signing that went so horribly awry at the commencement of tonight’s festivities. Brittany Lohan jots down her name in the appropriate space, and just as Alana is about to affix her own signature to the document, Tabitha Silverstone and company intervenes.

Dollar: Alana was mere moments from signing a contract that would guarantee her a one on one match against Brittany Lohan, but given the fact that Lohan and Mary were the ones who drew up this contract, Silverstone was adamant that she look it over before Starr could sign it. Now, if Starr wants that contract, she’s got to defeat two of Tabitha’s clients…..

Lohan is shown throwing a punch at Tabitha, but her masked potential guardians intervene. They then bring Lohan to her knees are about to drive one of their own….covering by a steel brace….directly into her temple only to have Alana shockingly intervene. She takes out both Twelve and Seventeen before going face to face with Lohan.

Dollar:…..But to make matters even worse for Alana….in order to get that contract back first she has to team with Brittany Lohan AND there can be no physical contact between she and Brittany under penalty of suspension.

Apparently the brief few moments that Alana was allowed to get her hands on Lohan, as rehashed by the video, will be the last time she has a chance to get physical with the Blue Eyed Devil this evening.

Alana is warming herself up by pacing in the ring and utilizing the ropes for stretching purposes. Although this might not be the match she wants to compete in, it brings her one step closer to at last getting the confrontation she’s been yearning for since the very moment she set foot in the IWC and made her intentions clear.

‘I am done pretending’

[[ Blasts over the loudspeakers as the lights in the arena go out and the fans instantly start to boo heavily when they recognize whose theme song it is. Just a spotlight focuses on the curtains of the entrances the clips once again fades away into the words that read: “Bleeding you is more than just torment.”

The curtains slowly start to part as Lohan slips through them like a slithering snake. She is soon accompanied by “Typhoid” Mary Mallory. She stops at the top of the ramp and she looks like everything, but relaxed as her whole body is tensed looking like she’s ready to strike at the drop of a dime like a coiled cobra. Her icy eyes pan around the arena and the fans closest to the ramp and she snarls at a few of them get a little too vocal with her. However, the moment that her eyes catch the glimpse of the ring she shuts the fans out and turns all of her attention to the squared circle.]]

‘After the lights go out on you

After your worthless life is through

I will remember how you scream

I can’t afford to care

I can’t afford to care’

[[ With clenched fists, gritted teeth, and glaring icy eyes… Lohan starts to make her way down to the ring methodically. Mary follows suit, walking with Brittany side by side the entire time. Lohan is taking slow, calculated, but powerful steps towards the ring. Her icy glare is so fixated on the ring that it would seem to appear that she doesn’t realize that the arena is nearly sold out. The way that she looks right now it might as well be empty for all she cares.]]

I am suffocating

You have failed to pull me in

I will drag you down again

Life is unrelenting

Feeding lies into my head

I will feed the lies you live

Now you want to take me down

As if I even care

I am the monster in your head

And I thought you’d learn by now

It seems you haven’t yet

I am the venom in your skin

And now your life

Is broken

[[ As she nears the squared circle, Lohan slows down to a snails pace as she proceeds to walk around the perimeter of the ring with her eyes closed. When she’s satisfied she opens her eyes and reaches up to grab the bottom rope with her right hand and pulls herself up onto the apron only allowing one knee to touch before she rolls into the ring. Meanwhile Mary walks over to the announce position, grabs a steel holding chair and places it in front of the ring.

With Britt in the ring she gets on both of her knees, closing her eyes, as she lifts both of her arms up into the air. She holds that position for several seconds before she slowly climbs up to her feet, but then as if a switch was flipped somewhere her entire presence changes. And that’s when Alana rushes across the ring and delivers a huge shining wizard right to her face.

Dollar: ALANA! What have you done!?!

Susie: She just nailed the shining wizard on Lohan!

Dollar: No….well yes….but no….she just….just got herself suspended.

Susie: That’s right, there was supposed to be n physicality between these two.

The crowd is screeching up until it suddenly dawns on them the ramifications of Alana’s actions. In spite of the fact that she may have just gotten herself disqualified, Starr still wears a huge smile as she gets to her feet. She even wants to do more but Mary reaches under the ropes, grabs Lohan’s ankle and helps roll her to the exterior of the ring where her protégé leans heavily upon her. Referee Princeton looks flummoxed….and quite distressed as he is now forced to approach Alana and tasked with the difficult choir of informing Starr that she’s been suspended. But just before Alana can become a perpetual bench warmer, she reaches out and FORCES the referee’s lips closed by pinching them together and making her own announcement.

Alana: Hold up, Mr. Epic-Beard. Frankie said that Lohan and I couldn’t touch each other once the match started, he didn’t say anything about what happens BEFORE the bell has rung.

The crowd and Fitzpatrick simultaneously sigh with relief, realizing that Alana is being overly technical, but right as rain regarding the spin she just put on Frankie’s ruling.

Dollar: Hey, Alana’s right…..Frankie might have said that she and Lohan couldn’t fight each other, but only during the course of this match. So since the bell hasn’t rung yet, the two are free to do to each other whatever they please.

Susie: Alana has brilliantly spun that ruling to her advantage.

Dollar; She incapacitated Lohan, and now Brittany is not going to be able to do a thing about it because the match is about to start. This was beautifully played by Alana.

Starr can’t resist the opportunity to blow Typhoid Mary a kiss…..but even this fails to elicit a single solitary emotional response from the addled and kneeing Lohan’s mentor. She does not react, because someone else is about to do her dirty work for her. Twelve and Seventeen come rushing down the ramp and slide into the ring behind Alana, who turns just in time to spot Silverstone’s potential clients. The bell chimes and Alana leaves her feet, leaping into the air and dropkicking BOTH athletes to their sternums.

Dollar: Twelve and Seventeen tried to get some revenge on Starr for what she did to them earlier, but Alana saw it coming.

Susie: That attempted sneak attack isn’t going to sit well with Tabitha Silverstone….it looks like these two are going into business for themselves.

Dollar: Their probably more than a little upset that Starr took them out at the beginning of the night.

The masked hoodlums roll to the ropes and employ them to reach their feet while Starr backs to the center of the ring, waiting for either of them to stand up. Twelve gets to his feet with the aid of the ropes and then Starr bolts directly into him, leaping high and delivering a step up knee strike to the jaw. The shot has cleaned Twelve’s clock and is causing him to stoop forward, putting him in perfect position for Alana to place him in a side headlock then rush across the ring. Seventeen has just reached his feet in time to spot Starr diving forward hitting him to the throat with a lariat at the same time that she drags Twelve down with a bulldog.

Dollar: Starr is on fire! This woman seriously must have been hitting the gym and training to get back into ring shape these past few months.

Susie: Of course, because she’s been gearing up for a match against Brittany Lohan NOT a match against two gimps.

Dollar: And if she keeps this up, she’s going to get all of Lohan she can handle and then some.

Alana rolls to her feet and turns focus to Seventeen, who desperately crawls away. He gets to the ropes and to his feet just as Starr rushes in and nails him with a lariat that sends him flipping up and over the cables. She then goes sailing over the cables herself into a senton pancha that connects right against Seventeen’s shoulder, knocking both to the mats amidst a huge roar from the crowd.

Dollar: 7.5!

Susie: 6.8! And two smiley face stickers!

The aerial dare devilry from a fired up and motivated Alana continues when she leaps seamlessly from mats to apron to top rope and then sails across the ring right into a front dropkick on the jaw of a risen Twelve. Both competitors collapse to the mats with the fans screeching, cheering, and only further hyping her up. She spins around to face the recovering Twelve and hops between feet, preparing herself for a big time maneuver.

Twelve has no idea what he’s in store for as he sluggishly begins to ascend to his feet. He gets up even while stooped over, unwittingly putting himself in position for the Starr-Crossed. The axe kick to the back of the head knocks Twelve right back down to the canvas and sends his face slamming against the ring.

He flops over to his back but Starr is kipping up to her feet. She is still feeding off the raw energy from the fans, adrenaline surging, pulse rate quickening. She turns in circles, getting herself energized for another of her dazzling moves. But then she turns right into a spear from Seventeen. Although it was a move not delivered by his own volition, cause technically he was THROWN by Lohan shoulder first right into Alana’s ribs. The two collapse to the canvas while Brittany swipes her palms against one another.

Dollar: NO BRITTANY!

Susie: She threw Seventeen into Alana.

Dollar: And just got herself suspended in the process.

If Fitzpatrick had a hard time informing Alana that she was going to be suspended for violating the no physical contact rule, now his stomach is twisting with the knowledge that he now has to inform Lohan that she’s going to be forced to sit on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.

Lohan: I don’t think so.

Lohan grabs a hand full of Fitzpatrick’s beard and uses it to yank him towards her menacing Blue Eyes.

Lohan: I never laid a finger on Alana, therefore I did not violate the no physicality rule.

The crowd explodes with anger resulting from Lohan’s own side stepping of Frankie’s edict. Fitzpatrick realizes that his hands are yet again tied by this hyper technicality. Now that Lohan has found a way to circumvent the rules, she takes full advantage of it, catching an inbound Twelve by the chest and shoulder then gorilla pressing his light frame above her head. Alana is utilizing the ropes to reach her feet, unsuspecting of the fate she’s about to endure. Suddenly Twelve is flung directly at Alana with the gorilla press only to have Starr duck out of the way in the nick of time

As a result Twelve goes flying through the ropes behind her and she goes flying towards Lohan, pulling back her fist. Suddenly Brittany throws her hands up and steps back away from the clinched fist moments from landing against her jaw.

<PLohan: Whoa….whoa….whoa….The bell has rung now…..

She rubs her jaw, still feeling the effects of the shining wizard delivered pre-match.

Lohan: You wouldn’t want to get yourself disqualified would you?

Every inch of Alana’s body is trembling, her nails are digging so deep into her palms that blood actually trickles to the surface. It goes against everything, every fiber of her being not to knock Lohan straight on her ass….not to knock a few teeth lose and to break her nose. Lohan smiles insidiously, seeing the pain she’s putting Alana through, realizing just how much this is hurting Alana.

Lohan: Or maybe it’s worth it to you, Alana. Maybe a suspension wouldn’t be so bad if it gives you the opportunity to get your hands on me. So go ahead, Starr Chylde….do it….take a swing….get one more cheap shot in on me.

Brittany lowers her defenses, putting her hands behind her back and extending her jaw for Alan to take a swing.

Dollar: Don’t do it Starr, don’t do it!

Susie: Lohan is going to cause her to get suspended.

<PDollar: This is precisely what Brittany wants. She gets Alana suspended and will not have to worry about ever facing her in the ring.

Now blood almost seeps from Alana’s lip as she bites into it…..resisting that gnawing, festering, all-consuming urge to crush Lohan’s smiling face with her bare fists.

Lohan: Go ahead…do it…..DO IT NOW!!

Alana retracts her fist and is so close….so very close to bringing it directly into Lohan’s face, but she stops…..the crowd compelling her to come to her senses. Lohan closes her eyes and continues to smile from earlobe to earlobe, doing everything to bait Alana into delivering a swift and potentially career ending strike….that career being Alana’s.

Dollar: Don’t do it Alana….please don’t do it.

Susie: Think this out, Starr, don’t be so brash.

Brittany continues to jut out her jaw for the blow that will irrevocably change Starr’s life forever. But its not Alana who throws a strike. Seventeen barrels in right behind Alana, who turns not only in time to avoid it, but to catch the back of his arm, pushing him along into a roaring elbow that connects with Brittany’s jaw. Lohan is staggered back by the strike, rooting her feet to the canvas before reaching up to see if the strike has drawn blood.

Her twisted Blue Eyes slowly rise from her finger-tips to the masked face of Seventeen, who instantly begins to back peddle as his heart shoots up into his larynx.

Dollar: Alana using Lohan’s own tactics against her, forcing Seventeen to deliver the shot she so yearned to hit herself.

Susie: And I think now that Seventeen is looking into Lohan’s eyes, that he just shit a kitten.

Seventeen eventually summons the courage to rush into an ‘intentional’ shot on Lohan’s face only to be caught against his shoulder and heaved into the air. Lohan then spins around and DRIVES the masked man into the canvas via a Double A Spinebuster.

Twelve hopes to catch the Blue Eyed Devil with her guard lowered, dashing across the ring only for his plans to go horribly awry. He is scooped up onto Lohan’s shoulder, charging him across the ring and throwing him like a javelin face first into the top turnbuckle pad. The snake eyes sends Twelve stumbling back into Lohan, who catches him with a running big boot that sends him flipping completely over backwards.

Brittany then spins around just as Seventeen rushes into a clothesline that misses. The momentum sends Seventeen charging into the ropes, ricocheting off then coming back into a discus axehandle smash that twists him inside out.

Dollar: These two managed to piss Lohan off….something you NEVER want to do.

Susie: That’s the equivalent of hiring Dr. Kevorkian to aid in your suicide.

Somehow Twelve has gotten back to his feet, but not for very long. An aggravated Lohan steps in, takes him under both arms and flings him up into the air, ultimately catching him on his shoulders then spiking him down with onto the back of his head and neck via the Final Solution. At the same time Alana is racing past Brittany, scaling the nearby turnbuckle to the very top and then leaping off into the absolutely breathtaking Starr-Struck. Her twisting and flipping body eventually collides with Seventeen’s sternum and has the masked combatant flopping around like he were just shot by a cannon.

Dollar: Final Solution and Starr-Struck connecting at the exact same time! Lohan and Starr decimating Silverstone International.

Susie: The gimps go limp.

Lohan drops down and wedges a knee to Twelve’s chest while Alana leans back and hooks both of Seventeen’s legs. The crowd is absolutely rejoicing as the official makes the count.

1

2

3

Dollar: And rather they like it or not, Alana and Lohan have just worked together to win this match.

Susie: Somehow they’ve managed not to get themselves suspended in the process.

Dollar: But now that the bell has rung, we’re about to see these two presumably pick up right where they left off at the start of tonight’s show.

The bell does chime and as much as Starr would like to put her fist into Brittany’s face, she evades her aggressor. Lohan rolls to the exterior of the ring and finds herself stationed at Mary’s side. Alana’s clinched fists yearn for connecting with Lohan’s cheeks, but instead fall idle to her sides.

Lohan: You had your opportunity and you blew it! I don’t deal in second chances.

Lohan and Mary back around the ring and up the ramp with the fiery Alana pacing the ring as if a predator on the prowl. But the prey shifts from Lohan to another carotid artery that presents itself on the stage.

Dollar: And there’s Tabitha Silverstone with the contract.

Susie: She’s gonna fork it right over to Alana as per the terms of this match.

Not only is there a contract in hand but a microphone clutched by Tabitha as well.

Tabitha: Alana, I’m sorry…

Starr is unsure if she’s ready to accept this apology.

Tabitha: But I STILL cannot give you this contract.

Starr is definitely not ready to accept this apology.

Tabitha: If you only knew the fine print that Mary and Brittany embedded into this contract spoken in such legal and technical jargon it would be impossible for any lay person to understand. You need to give me an opportunity to rewrite this contract entirely before you sign off on it.

Starr is more full of angst than the entire cast of an eighties teen drama.

Tabitha: Please don’t misconstrue the situation, Alana, no one wants to see you get your hand son Lohan worse than I do, but not if it comes at the expense of your career. And if you sign this ABOMINATION….

She swings the contract this way and that.

Tabitha: That’s exactly what you’ll be doing. So please….I implore you….rather you retain my services as your agent or not, let me rewrite this contract and prevent you from falling prey to Lohan’s games.

Even when these facts in evidence, Alana has still yet to be swayed.

Tabitha: I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me, so maybe hearing it from someone else will convince you that my motives are genuine.

At just that moment the curtains part and through them passes Andre Jordan. Shock doesn’t even begin to describe Starr’s reaction at the sight of Andre stepping to Tabitha’s side and being handed a microphone.

Andre: Baby, you need to listen to this woman….

He gestures to Tabitha.

Andre: She truly is looking out for your best interests. She and I looked over this contract together, and she managed to translate ALLLLL the bullshit that Dark Legacy managed to sneak in there. So I’m in agreement with Tabby here, you can’t sign this.

Jordan takes the contract and takes the option right out of Alana’s hands by ripping the document right down the middle. Lohan and Mary are not pleased.

Andre: And furthermore….

He continues while taking the microphone back from Silverstone.

Andre: Just to show how much I now trust this woman, I’ve allowed her to take over my contract negotiations with the IWC, meaning…..

Jordan briefly debates rather he should make this announcement here and now….briefly.

Andre:…that I have signed with Silverstone International.

Alana is taken aback by this revelation.

Andre: And you should do the same, Baby. I think Silverstone can help us BOTH out.

The fact that Andre has given Silverstone his seal of approval…..no….that he’s actually gone as far as to sign a talent contract with Tabitha….finally seems to have resonated in Starr. She runs her hand through her hair, and although she wants to tear out a sizeable chunk of it, somehow she maintains her composure.

Orlando: Well I think my actions were pretty justifiable.

The Icon’s i-phone yet again wedges against his ear, seated on the edge of a bench in the midst of a terse conversation. While Orlando engages the Board of Directors, in the background Simon Cagero engages in interior decorating. For some reason, known only to Cagero, he is presently arranging some glow in the dark stars to the walls and to the ceiling.

Orlando: Frankie tried to have me taken out, and I couldn’t just lay down and let him get away with it.

He’s so involved in the conversation that he pays no attention to Simon’s redecorating. Now Cagero is placing a few scented candles on a table.

Orlando: Wait-wait….how can you possibly believe that Frankie had nothing to do with me being thrown into a grave?

The skin on his temple is rubbed with a knuckle in an attempt to stifle his migraine.

Orlando: What hold does Franklin have over you guys? Is he blackmailing you all or something? Because for starters, he doesn’t deserve nor does he have the credentials to be in any position of authority, and secondly, the guy is the biggest dick on the planet, yet you’re willing to give him a free pass while you keep dropping the hammer on me. I can’t even break wind without their being some emergency board meeting called. Yet Franklin gets to force wrestlers into retirement matches, participate in my beating with kendo-sticks, and you guys just sit around with your thumbs up your asses….

The door opens, and the figure who enters is NOT someone he was expecting.

Orlando: I’ll call you guys right back….sorry.

Once again he is FORCED to hang up the phone.

Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith step into Taylor Chase’s dressing room, gazing at a man they did not anticipate seeing.

Brooklyn: Hey Cruze….

Orlando: Well howdy Brook….

Gary: Where’s Taylor?

There is absolutely no tact from Gary, nor much in the way of emotion in his tone.

Orlando: Hello to you too, Gary.

Gary: How about I repeat myself, ‘where is Taylor Chase?’

A shrug from the Icon.

Orlando: You’re guess is as good as mine, Gary. I don’t have a tracking device attached to her.

Gary: Yet?

Orlando: And what is that suppose….

Brooklyn: We wanted to talk over some concerns with her.

Orlando: Concerns you say? Well I’m here, you can tell me and I’ll pass it along to Taylor.

Brooklyn: Okay….

Gary: No…..

A hand is raised between Brooklyn and Orlando’s faces.

Gary: We came here to talk to Taylor, we’ll wait till she shows up.

Orlando: Ummm….Gary, I can deliver a simple message, I’m more than capable of that.

Gary: The same way you’re capable of keeping Taylor out of danger?

Orlando: What? Wait-wait…

Gary: No….this needs to be said.

Brooklyn: Gary, please.

Though Brooklyn would normally be capable of keeping her cousin in check, Gary is rather inconsolable at the moment, evident as he pulls his wrist away from her touch. He refuses to allow Smith’s hand to be a shackle that imprisons his tongue.

Gary: Last week I BEGGED you to let Brooklyn and I handle the Blacklist. I flat out told you that if you didn’t let us do our job that your actions would be dragging Taylor Chase into the middle of another conflict. But did you listen to me? No, you didn’t. Things went exactly as I had predicted. You got beat-down, we came in to save your ass, and then Taylor rushes out and makes enemies of the Blacklist.

Orlando: Gary, you must still be suffering some symptoms from your concussion, cause you’re not making the slightest bit of sense.

Gary: You brought the wrath of the Blacklist down upon Taylor. This whole issue between her and that group of psychopaths never would have happened if it weren’t for you. You’ve ducked matches against Aaron Harrison, and you’ve hidden behind Taylor, putting her between you and the Blacklist. As her future husband, I would think you would take a more vested interest in keeping your wife safe rather than exposing her to such dangers. Lord knows if she and I were still together, she would NEVER have to worry about things.

Orlando: Well you’re NOT still together.

Gary stifles his rage, letting the knots form in his stomach like a sailor were reaching directly into his intestines.

Orlando: And I would do anything to protect Tayor….I’d throw myself in front of a bus if it meant keeping her safe.

Gary: Prove it. Cancel the tag match between Unity and Blacklist tonight, and allow Brooklyn and I to face them instead.

This is a rather intriguing option….one that Orlando is definitely considering….for all of a second.

Orlando: Gary, I can’t do that.

Gary: What’s wrong with you, Orlando…?

Gary’s fingers….which presently tremble…..move to his scalp, pushing back his hair in spite of wanting to rip out a few chunks.

Gary: I’m starting to lose faith that you’re actually out to protect your woman. Actually, I’m beginning to wonder if everything that’s been said about you, is the truth. Maybe you are manipulating Taylor into being destroyed by the Blacklist so that you can swoop in and take her World Heavyweight Championship.

Orlando: That’s ridiculous.

Gary Is it?

Orlando: I’m not giving you the Blacklist tonight, because you’re already helping to deal with another scourge known as End Effect. And Taylor….she’s been adamant about facing the Blacklist all week long.

Gary: So she can end up in handcuffs and tears yet again?

Orlando: Speaking of which, where were you and Brooklyn when I was being tossed in a grave and Taylor was being forced to watch.

Gary: Dealing with another of the problems you’ve refused to acknowledge, Ba’al and the End Effect. We were in no condition to offer help after wrestling about twelve times in the span of one night. But things are different now, we’re fired up….we’re fresh as posies….Brooklyn and I are ready to do something about the Blacklist and do it now. So prove how much you love, Taylor….prove you can protect her, and give Brooklyn and I the Blacklist tonight, so that the Steel Cage match at Last Stand, never has to happen.

Orlando: Gary…..I-I….just can’t.

Gary gives a judgmental shake of his head.

Gary: Taylor deserves better….she HAD better.

Out of the room strolls a melancholy Matt….unable to even look back at Orlando. Therefore Brooklyn is left to smooth things over with the President.

Brooklyn: I’m really sorry about all of that ugliness, Cruze.

Orlando: Yeah….

Brooklyn: Gary just hasn’t been himself lately. He’s been drinking really heavy the past few weeks, especially since he found out about your engagement to Taylor.

Orlando: Well he’s a grown man…..he needs to learn to deal with it….

Brooklyn: I’ll talk some sense into him…..it’ll just take some doing is all.

Orlando: I hope you too can deal with the End Effect first.

Brooklyn: Oh….we will…..don’t even worry about that.

And then there were two. Brooklyn leaves Orlando behind with Simon Cagero, who is presently arranging some roses in the corner of the room

Simon: Pretty low if you ask me, Cruze.

Orlando: Hmmm?

Simon: Booking a concussed man in a four on two handicap match. That’s bad even by your standards

Orlando doesn’t lose face, he smirks actually.

Orlando: You’ve got me all wrong yet again, Simon.

Cagero now watches as Orlando whips out his i-phone, hits a few buttons and raises it to his ear.

Orlando: Hey O’Brian…..is your brother ready? Cause…we’re go for tonight.

It looks like someone has dumped an entire gallon of water on top of P Clarence Whitman’s head….His face couldn’t be any whiter if it were splashed with Elmer’s Glue….And his breathing is about as fast and heavy as a monorail.

Jaina: Mr. Whitman…..

He almost yelps loud enough to pop eardrums. The moment Jaina gets within a foot of him, Clarence leaps to his feet and puts the chair he was seated on between himself and Frost. Rachel and Ba’al smirk with amusement.

Jaina: You’ve been with the IWC since day one….correct?

Whitman: Oh….ummm….eerrrm….

Jaina: It’s a simple question.

Whitman: I….uhhh…..errrrr….

Iaina: Permission to treat the witness as hostile….

Ba’al: By all means.

Their ideal of hostile might be far different than any court of laws. Whitman realizes this, hence why he’s now ducking behind the chair and staring through the wooden beams into the encroaching face of Jaina.

Whitman: Yes-yes….I’ve been with the IWC quite a while.

His words are spurned by the encroachment of the sinister Frost, who now frowns, realizing she won’t have the chance for hostility.

Jaina: We know the Blacklist’s feelings….but what about you, Whitman….being a first-hand spectator since day one….would you say that the IWC is guilty of criminal wrongdoings?

Whitman: Uhhhh…..ummmm….I…..can I plead the fifth?

Jaina: Absolutely…..as long as you have no affinity for the fingers on your right hand.

Whitman: Yes…it’s guilty….absolutely guilty…..So guilty it should be given a sound spanking and sent to bed without even a warm glass of milk.

Jaina: Surprising that you would say this. The IWC has been quite kind to you, have they not? They’ve made you the X-Class Champion, they introduced you to your fiancée, and they have largely made you a household name.

Whitman: Oh….well then….I suppose that the IWC is innocent then….it is quite a lovely federation on the whole.

Ba’al: How could you say this when they’ve sat idle and allowed the Black Crusade to shamefully intimidate you over and over again?

Whitman: Ah……sound complaint…..and I completely agree that such slights should not be overlooked. So given the threats to my physical bodes and its use as a human weapon at the hands of the Black Crusade…..I do believe the IWC has incurred your full and uncompassionate wrath.

Rachel: But didn’t the IWC provide you an opportunity to fulfill your life-long dream as a professional wrestler when so many other companies snubbed their nose at a largely unknown athlete?

Whitman is getting physically sick….flip flopping worse than a politician post-election.

Whitman: You’re right, absolutely right….So maybe the IWC at least deserves warm milk.

Ba’al: Have you forgotten the many matches against the Blacklist they’ve subjected you to? Which would risk your transformation into a human bonfire?

Whitman: Would either of you kindly tell me what you want me to say?

Ba’al: The truth, Mr. Whitman….and only the truth.

It goes against every fiber of his being, but somehow Whitman does not retort with a ‘you can’t handle the truth.’

Rachel: Do you pronounce guilt or innocence?

Whitman: I…..I…..ummmm…..I have no….

Ba’al: You truly are a spineless….whimpering mass….aren’t you?

Ba’al has passed his own judgment, and it’s a verdict that does not sit well with Whitman. Though he would like to react, he’s too gripped with fear to offer a response.

Ba’al: Look at you, standing there quivering. You are barely even a man.

Whitman opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

Ba’al: Do you have something to say? A rebuttal perhaps?

Finally words do find their way through his lips.

Whitman: No.

<PBa’al: I thought as much.

Rachel: Wow Whitman…..you truly must loathe the IWC more than we do, if you can sit silently and watch as we threaten to eradicate it.

Whitman’s head couldn’t possibly get any lower.

Ba’al: Take your leave this instant, Whitman, I can no longer tolerate the sight of you. Run along and continue to be the Black Crusade’s plaything.

Gladly….and with gusto….Whitman vacates the witness stand and hurries to the door. Once the disgusting image of Whitman has been removed from her sights, Rachel is free to turn her focus back to Ba’al.

Rachel: I believe the time has come for me to summon our next witness.

Ba’al: Yes, my Lady Liberty, bring her along would you?

Rachel: It would be my distinct honor.

She rises from the arm of the throne and begins towards the door.

The sleeve of his recently purchased tuxedo is dabbed against the sweaty brow of Whitman, who hasn’t felt this ill since being exposed to the cold waters used during his baptism. The X-Class takes only a modicum of satisfaction in knowing that he’s managed to escape the wrath of yet another group of the truly depraved. He moves along and does in a hurry, trying to put as much space between himself and Ba’al as possible.

He moves along even faster…..in a greater panic when he hears the door he just exited beginning to reopen and sees Rachel Foxx emerging.

Whitman: Merciful heavens.

The only thing moving faster than his feet is his heart, pumping so rapidly it threatens to explode straight through his chest.

Kitty: Clarence….over here!

The X-Class Champion turns and spots Kitty Buehler standing outside of another door, one she props open with her body.

Kitty: Get in here….quick.

Whitman pauses only to pay proper respects. He clasps his hands together and turns his eyes to the ceiling.

Whitman: There truly must be a divine force looking out for me.

Kitty: Was there ever a doubt?

He changes his tune almost as quickly as he speeds towards the room.

Whitman: Absolutely not. Praise Jesus….and all other such biblical gaudiness.

There is no qualms shown by Whitman to ease Kitty aside so he can take refuge in the room, slamming the door shut behind him. But that’s not good enough, as his eyes frantically race around the walls to find a bench, which he grabs, drags across the room and puts in front of the door….turning it into a barricade. A few chairs are then snatched up and put on top of the bench as well. Ultimately Whitman even throws his own body weight across the bench, lying stretched across it as he pants for air.

Silence: The defense calls, P Clarence Whitman III.

No rest for the weary. Whitman looks up and his eyes become as big as frying pans when centering on the lavish wig worn by Leeland Gaunt and the twisted mask on Silence’s face.

Newcomer Marcus Mayfield makes his first IWC appearance, progressing through a corridor adorned in the latest fashions….only fitting……literally…..for the latest edition to the IWC roster. Though new to the scene, he already knows how the game is played….and speaking of game….it’s exactly what he’s about to put to use when it comes to a member of Unity. He stops beside the door leading to the sanctuary for three of the loveliest ladies in the IWC, and prepares to turn on the charm.

Comeau: Excuse me, Mr. Mayfield.

Marcus looks away from the doorknob he was moments from twisting
.

Marcus: Yes?

Evident by his tone, he does not take very kindly to this disruption of his plans.

Comeau: Just wanted to get a word with the newest signee to the IWC roster.

Marcus is more than capable of providing a few choice comments…none of which regarding his recent contract signing.

Marcus: Do I look ready to conduct an interview at the moment?

Comeau: No….but I’m sure I have some pep pills that would put you in the mood

Marcus: No thanks. Can we do this later….I have other matters that I would prefer to handle at the moment.

He makes less than a subtle gesture to the door of Unity.

Comeau: I have something that can help you there too….A few pills that will aid with your potency.

Marcus: I require no help there, bud.

Comeau: The offer stands nevertheless. And yeah, I’ll find you later for that interview.

Now that Mark has got a clue, nothing stands in opposition to Marcus’ getting a face to face with the woman he’s been chatting up over Twitter, Kathryn Pearson. The door knob just begins to twist before yet another obstruction somehow manages to cease his progress.

Montgomery: Hey there handsome.

Not only does Lukas block his entry into the room, but has the audacity to violate Mayfield’s personal space via a slap to his shoulder.

Montgomery: Just wanted to offer a proper welcome to yet another of the latest talent acquisi….oh hey….wait….I know you. You’re that goof-ball who’s been making bedroom talk with Kathryn over Twitter.

Mayfield brushes off his contaminated shoulder.

Marcus: We’ve exchanged some words.

Montgomery: Awww….well…I hate to burst your bubble lover-boy….but ummm….Kathryn and I….

He looks away sheepishly while scratching the back of his head, trying to be respectful via discretion.

Montgomery:….we’re kind of a ‘thing.’

Marcus finds this surprising.

Marcus: Really? You and Kathryn?

Montgomery: Yep….and you wouldn’t want to earn a reputation as a home wrecker now would you? Not messing with another wrestler’s woman is kind of a golden rule here in this industry, and violating it, would turn you into a social pariah.

Marcus: Okay….fine….I guess I can go and conduct that interview right now….

Lukas smiles.

Marcus: I can always have a chit-chat with Kathryn later.

Lukas frowns.

Marcus: But the two of us will probably be exchanging more than words.

A slap connects with Lukas’ shoulder, and Marcus doesn’t stick around to deal with the ramifications. He takes off down the corridor and leaves Lukas behind, using the back of his fingers to swipe the arm that was touched by Mayfield.

GARY MATT & BROOKLYN SMITH VS. THE END EFFECT

The show returns to interior of the Manhattan Center with cameras fixed on the balcony of the Manhattan Center where security is clearing out an entire section of fans. They put up a struggle considering they paid for their seats…but apparently someone with a bigger trust-fund bribed security into ascertaining these prized seats. All becomes apparent when a huge mass of a man, taping the mic plugged into his ear and cautiously surveying his surroundings clears the way for the beautiful woman behind him.

Dollar: Riot keeps on going and we’re supposed to be seeing Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith versus the End Effect right now….

Susie: So why are cameras filming the crowd?

Dollar: Because as I understand it, that’s Viktor Drugov and Countess Nevena.

Susie: Who?

Dollar: Another of our most recent signings to the iWC roster.

Susie: Looks like she bought out the entire balcony.

Dollar: Apparently she is a woman of extraordinary wealth.

Nevena has Drugov dust off her seat before she will dare plant herself upon it. He even throws a towel and pillow upon the chair that will accommodate the Countess’ requirement for the utmost comfort. Spotlights start to shine around the arena as “Born for This” by Paramore hits the speakers. After a few moments, the spotlights stop on the entrance ramp, on the beautiful Brooklyn Smith. But she shares the spotlight this time with cousin Gary Matt. He doesn’t stay in the spotlight for long, marching right down the ramp with Brooklyn trying to keep up with him.

Dollar: Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith….the hired guns of Orlando Cruze coming out here to deal with this destructive influence known as the End Effect once and for all.

Susie: The issues between these two and the End Effect has been building for a few weeks now.

Dollar: Gary referenced it earlier, he and Brooklyn wrestled several matches against the End Effect on one of our final shows of 2013, and then they went to war at the End of the Year Special, where Brooklyn was able to eliminate all three members of the End Effect who participated in that match.

Dollar: But not until after Jackson Adams threatened to drop Gary on his concussed head via the package piledriver.

Susie: And who can forget how Jackson JOINED the End Effect, when he and this group of psychopaths attacked Gary Matt, Brooklyn Smith and Nathan Creed at Upping the Ante.

Dollar: So much has happened between these two teams in such a short span of time…..

Gary: Hold on-hold on-hold on…

Dollar: Gary has a microphone in hand, maybe he’s going to comment on that Steel Cage announcement made by the Blacklist just a few moments ago.

Susie: Maybe he’s going to announce that he’s part of Silverstone International too.

Dollar: Good God help us if that’s the case.

The fans aren’t the only ones eager to hear what Gary has to say, because Brooklyn is just as unaware as they are of concerning what Gary is going to say next. She is desperate to screen him and be his filter, but Matt is intent on making his announcement without consorting with his cousin first.

<PGary: As much as I want to end….pun intended….the End Effect, and put a stop to the brutality they’ve inflicted on this roster, I’m afraid I’m putting this match on hold tonight.

Brooklyn: WWWWHAT!?!

She does a double, triple, quadruple take.

Gary: Because at this moment, Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith are going to destroy another group that threatens the safety of everyone on this roster…including our Word Heavyweight Champion. So permission, or no permission. I’m calling out the Blacklist.

Brooklyn: Hold up, Gary.

Her pleas continue to fall on deaf ears, and the hands she repeatedly puts to Gary’s chest are nudged aside

Gary: Come on Blacklist…let’s finish this!

Brooklyn: No GARY!

The microphone is FORCED out of Gary’s hands and his attention is at last forced towards Brooklyn.

Brooklyn: You need to stop this….You’re losing it.

Gary shakes his head defiantly.

Brooklyn: Taylor doesn’t need us….don’t you get that? She’s got Unity…she’s got Orlando Cruze….

Gary: You can’t trust, Orlando.

Brooklyn: But you can trust me…

She’s far more emotional than normal….especially when it comes to keeping her cousin safe

Brooklyn: When you first came to me and asked for my help in dealing with the Blacklist, you told me you had a plan….and to trust in that plan. But this….all of this….it doesn’t show planning….you’re reacting with your heart rather than using your brain. Sun Tzu would be rolling over in his grave right now….

Gary is still shaking his head no matter how much sense Brooklyn makes.

Brooklyn: You’ve deviated from the plan….and it’s cost you. Your concussion, your constant beat-downs from Ba’al, the End Effect and Blacklist….it’s all because you haven’t been thinking things out clearly and you haven’t listened to me. I begged you not to get involved in my match a couple of weeks ago, and what did you do, you interfered and you got us put in a handicap match against the End Effect. Then I pleaded with you not to go out and fight Ba’al after you got hit in the head with that gavel, and yet, even with a concussion, you tried to interfere in that seven on seven elimination tag…Which didn’t turn out too well for you, did it? And now, here you are calling out the Blacklist and threatening to derail everything we’ve worked so hard for. If you would just trust me and hear me out we can get this plan back in course….

Jackson: Is this melodrama over with yet?

If anything….or anyone to be more accurate….could take Brooklyn’s mind off of her cousin, it would be the arrival of Jackson Adams, Rain, Priest, Brandy Danielle, and Fury, the group collectively known as the End Effect.

Jackson: It better be, because rather you like it or not, Gary, you’re not getting the Blacklist tonight, you’re getting a far more destructive force….the End Effect. And were about to finish what we started at Upping the Ante…..beating respect into you….and by the end of the night, I’ll show the newcomers in this federation what the pecking order is around here….and why I’M at the top of the food chain.

Jackson finishes his sentence and the End Effect theme song begins to pipe through the PA system as the group embarks towards the ring. Brooklyn’s eyes whip around to face Gary, who is silently simmerin.

Brooklyn: Please trust me, Gary, please.

Gary: Let’s finish this.

The moment that the End Effect reach the ringside area both Gary and Brooklyn dash across the ring and simultaneously dive over the ropes. While Gary flies into big arms and head first into Rain and Priest, Brooklyn flips over into a senton pancha right on top of Brandy Danielle and Jackson Adams.

Dollar: OHHH WOW….what a way to start off this Handicap No Disqualification Match.

Susie: They flew higher than Michael Jordan, and they didn’t even have to stick their tongues out.

Dollar: Matt wanted the Blacklist….but even though it was Brooklyn who tried to talk some sense into him….it was the End Effect that finally took that option off the table.

Susie: Jackson probably felt disrespected that the End Effect was being overlooked, even after everything he and his associates have done to the IWC roster.

Dollar: Gary isn’t taking End Effect lightly, not after they’ve left him lying time and time again….he’s just obsessed with protecting Taylor Chase from the Blacklist.

Susie: But they’re not even together anymore.

Brooklyn and Gary have got the match off to a rousing start, unleashing their pint up frustrations on these four despicable individuals. Brooklyn stands up and immediately ducks a shot from Priest, then turns and rushes back into the ring. She slides under the ropes, stands, grabs the top one and then flies over and lands on Priest’s shoulders, going for a hurricarana. However, just like at the End of the Year Special, Priest plants his feet and does no go over. Instead he pulls Brooklyn back up and prepares to powerrbomb her yet again across the mats.

But Smith will not fall victim to the same move twice, wedging hands to Priest’s skull, pushing herself over and landing on the apron behind his back. She then leaps into the air, lands on the top rope across the back of her legs and then flips over into a moonsault crashing right into Priest’s shoulder and finally puts down the goliath.

Gary blocks a right hand from Rain, and then nails him across the chest with a knife edge chop. He then spots Jackson rushing in from behind, prompting him to duck a lariat that instead of connecting with the back of Matt’s head, travels right into Rain’s throat. The moment Rain hits the mats, an unremorseful Adams spins around and gets caught with a big running boot from Gary that sends Adams twisting into the barricade.

The barrier holds him up but Jackson is about to regret remaining on his feet because Gary catches an inbound Brandy, heaves her up above his head, turns and gorilla presses her right into Jacksons chest. The two go spilling over the barrier and into the crowd amidst a massive ovation from the crowd.

Dollar: In spite of the numbers being in the End Effects favor, Brooklyn and Gary are dominating.

Susie: They must have been injecting spinach straight into their veins.

Dollar: Motivation goes a long way. Gary and Brooklyn have been wanting to finish this issue with the End Effect for several weeks now….and this is their big opportunity.

Susie: Yeah, I’m surprised they weren’t more upset about the injustice of going four on two against a group that has injured several wrestlers.

Dollar: Myself included. If I didn’t have this cervical collar on, I’d do exactly what I did back in November and step up to help even the odds.

Susie: You must really enjoy going through tables.

Dollar: I’d actually much prefer seeing someone dance on top of a table to be more accurate.

An amped up Brooklyn gets to her feet and catches an ascending Rain around the neck, applying a side headlock before rifling off punches to his exposed face. The End Effect member then pushes her off though sending Brooklyn charging straight towards the steel steps, but she launches herself up onto them and lands with the poise of a cat. She then leaps off the stairs and twists into a crossbody that connects right across Rain’s chest, both competitors going down to the canvas. He’s only down for a moment though before Gary swoops in, takes him around the neck, leads him up to his feet and throws him into the ring.

Matt follows and waits for Rain to rise only to charge in to take him down via a lariat that is ducked by the crafty competitor. Rain rushes into the ropes behind Gary, leaps to the middle rope and springs off before twisting around and ultimately landing right on top of Gary’s shoulder. Matt then powers Rain across the ring and ultimately drives him spine first against the turnbuckle.

Gary then grabs Rain by the wrist, drags him out of the corner and powers him down to the canvas via a vicious lariat.

Dollar: Gary and Brooklyn just continuing to steamroll right through the End Effect. They’ve been dying for this match for quite some time and they’ve at last got it.

On the exterior of the ring Brooklyn is sizing up the Jackson and Brandy from the apron. She stomps her feet, preparing to rush across the apron and leap into her recovering adversaries. Once they’ve stepped over the barrier to the ringside area, Brooklyn takes off across the ring only to be caught by the ankle. Fury rips Brooklyn’s leg out from under her and causes her to come crashing down….the hard way….forehead first against the apron.

Susie: Major headache.

Dollar: That’s something else that makes these bastards so dangerous. Their manager Fury shows no trepidation about getting into the thick of things. The little bastard caused me to drop my guard long enough to get dumped on my head by Adams.

Susie: Can’t you just let that go?

Dollar: Given the size of my hospital bed and physical therapy…I think not.

Gary has turned the moment he hears his cousin’s head thump off of the apron. His face twists with rage when he witnesses Brooklyn crashing to the outside mats and Fury swiping palms against one another as if the trash were just taken out. Which is accurate considering the garbage IS about to be dumped. Gary rushes out of the ring, charges up behind Fury, takes the manager around the neck, spins them around and pulls Fury’s head under his seat.

Fury is squirming but Gary has no problem heaving the disrupted influence into the air, holding them upside down and then dropping into a piledriver. Fury bounces off the mats, neck twisting it a gruesome angle.

Dollar: YES….YES….hahahaha, Fury getting a fitting punishment for the way that scum caused me to be piledriven through that table. Thank you, Gary….he’s officially my new favorite wrestler.

Susie: My favorite never changes….it will be and always shall be, Bob. I love ye, Bob.

The End Effect couldn’t get to Fury in time to prevent their Manager’s destruction, Adams and Danielle showing up just a second too late. They do however, catch a distracted Gary off guard, pulling him around into a series of punches and knife edge chops. They then take his wrists and whip him with all of their strength towards the steel steps. Gary’s knees bounce off the stairs and the momentum sends him flipping up and over them before ultimately taking a tumble into the mats.

Dollar: Ohhh….it’s not Gary’s head he has to worry about now, it’s his knees.

Now its Brooklyn who responds too late to save her partner, standing up on the apron and preparing to take flight. However, Rain cuts her off from the interior of the ring, grabbing her around the jaw and spinning her around. He takes Brooklyn around the neck and doesn’t just vertical suplex her into the ring but drives her down brutally via the brainbuster DDT.

Brooklyn’s head hits the canvas at a very awkward angle, popping up to her seat and looking knocked in La-La Land. Jackson and Brandy rush into the ring, scramble across it, bounce off the far ropes and build momentum behind a simultaneous running knee strike to both sides of Brookyn’s face.

Dollar: Brainbuster DDT followed by a double running knee strike….These four truly have no compassion whatsoever.

Susie: Because they’re super-freaks…super-freaks…they’re super freaky, YEEEAAH!

Dollar: I wouldn’t suggest trying out for American Idol anytime soon, Susie.

Susie: I did once, but Simon Cowell told me I sounded like Gilbert Godfried strangling a cat.

Dollar: Hey, that’s pretty accurate.

On the exterior of the ring Gary’s plight isn’t any more favorable than his cousin’s. As he works his way towards his feet, he has no idea that Priest has snatched up the steel steps and is lying in wait.

Dollar: Oh nooo…..don’t even Priest…..tell me he’s not about to do this. Don’t hit Gary with those steps….the man has just recovered from a concussion!

Susie: And you think Priest doesn’t know that?

There is no hesitation….Priest rushing across the mats and flinging the steel steps right into Gary’s face.

Dollar: NO….ohhhh NOOOO!

Susie: That might not help Gary’s recovery process.

Dollar: Don’t be so glib, Susie, who knows how much damage that just did to Gary’s head.

The crowd cringes and laments over Gary’s condition…crying out for swift vindication to be enacted against Priest, unfortunately, there is no one to act as the long arm of the law. Brooklyn cannot help her cousin this time, finding hersef in dire straits, laying beneath the boots of Danielle, Rain and Adams. She has no idea that Gary is presently stretched over the mats, flat on his back with his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Dollar: It looks like that concussion has been aggravated…..

Susie: If not….he was just given a new one.

Dollar: As much respect as I have for Matt…I just…I just can’t condone how pig headed he’s been….which as Brooklyn eluded to, has led to his detriment time and time again.

Priest isn’t through with Gary though, he positions the steps and then moves Gary into position as well. He heaves him up under his arm and then steps moves towards the stairs, ultimately dumping him via the side slam right on top of the steps.

Dollar: Things have gone from worse to horrible for Gary Matt.

Susie: That Priest is a beast.

Dollar: And now things are looking really bad for his cousin as well.

Gary lies over the bottom half of the stairs, but makes no attempt to cradle his injured flesh…he just stares off into the distant with glassy eyes.

Dollar: Gary is definitely concussed….definitely. They need medical help out here for him right now.

Though Brooklyn managed to eliminate all three of the individuals assaulting her during that 6 on 6 elimination tag, she’s not having the same luck now. While she’s down and subjected to the End Effect’s barrage of boots, Adams is shouting to Priest outside of the ring. The instructions are followed, Priest grabbing the tarp hanging from the apron and throwing it into the air. He then reaches under the ring and withdrawals a table to squeals from the masses.

Dollar: No…not the table….NOT THE TABLE! I’m suffering PTSD at the moment.

Susie: Here, breathe into this paper bag.

<PDollar: Okay….wait….oh God….what the hell did you have in here?

Susie: Just my gym socks.

Dollar: Thanks, now I just feel nauseous.

As Priest is pulling the table up and placing it on the apron Rain and Adams are dragging Brooklyn to her feet and whipping her towards Brandy. At the last second, just before Daneille can catch her inbound opponent, Smith slides between her legs and hits a dropkick on the table, driving it back against Priest’s face. The big man staggers back and the table falls out of play.

Dollar: Brooklyn saving herself…..I can’t trumpet this woman’s resiliency enough.

Brooklyn keeps on sliding, right under the ropes and to the apron. She leaps to her feet just in time to catch Brandy with a shoulder block to the ribs through the ropes. She then leaps over the top rope and rolls over Brandy’s back, landing on her feet and lunging forward into a stereo lariat to the throats of both Rain and Adams. Both men go to the ground while Brooklyn rolls across the canvas to her feet.

She spins around just as Brandy races in, trying to take advantage only to have Brooklyn leap over her hip, catch her by the back of the tights, and pull her down into a school girl.

1

2

Brandy kicks out just before she could cost the End Effect a victory. In the process of the kick out, Danielle drops over to her knees, straightening up just in time to be nailed with a roundhouse kick to the temple by Brooklyn.

Once Brandy is laid to waist, Brooklyn is free to spin around and face the inbound Rain. He swings but is caught and dragged down to the canvas into a small package. Just like at the End of the Year Special, Rains own momentum is used against him, which ultimately may lead to a loss for his stable.

1

2

Not this time….Rain kicks out and now there’s a mad dash between himself and Brooklyn to be the first to their feet. Rain is quicker but that means nothing this time, as he runs right into a log roll to the shins, sending him flipping over top of Brooklyn and crashing across his back.

Dollar: Brooklyn continuing to overcome these odds….as this has now turned into a four on one advantage given the fact that Gary is clearly concussed outside of the ring.

Jackson rushes in to avenge his team, catching Brooklyn when she was only half way up. He steps over her head, hooks both of her arms and sets up for that oh so lethal package piledriver. But Brooklyn drops to her knees and slides right through his legs, ending up behind him. She then stands up, takes him around the waist and ultimately eats a back elbow in response to her attempt to deliver any type of suplex.

The shot to her teeth sends her stumbling back and falling against the turnbuckle just as Adams rushes in and leaps high into the air for a big splash. Smith steps out of the way though, causing Adams to fly past her skull first into the top turnbuckle pad. His face bounces off and his body twists to the mats just as Brooklyn begins her ascent up the very turnbuckle that just led to Adams’ undoing.

Now Smith looks to unleash a move that has also led to Adams; undoing in the past, getting to the top rope and preparing to deliver the leg drop. She goes airborne and ultimately crashes right across Jackson’s throat via the Night Cap.

Dollar: And that’s it……Brooklyn hit it….she hit the very move that bested Adams at the End of the Year Special! I can’t believe it, but she might have pulled this off.

Susie: I hope so, because she might have to get Gary to the back and stat for some medical help.

The trauma she’s endured throughout the course of this match is starting to take its effect, hence why she doesn’t instantly go for the cover. Though she has Adams precisely where she wants him, she can do nothing about it. It takes much struggling, but into the cover Brooklyn begins to crawl. Just as she extends her arm to drape it over Jackson’s chest….divine….or perhaps….demonic intervention unfolds. Brookyn’s hair is grabbed, her head is dragged back and a chloroform soaked rag is wedged right to her nose and mouth. Rachel Foxx stoops down behind a thrashing Brooklyn until all that kicking and gyrating ends….

Dollar: Why? What the hell? What the fuck is this?

Susie: It’s that eewwwwww FOXXY LADY.

Dollar: Rachel is drugging Brooklyn….but what is this all about….what I ask? Answers. Give me answers at once!

It takes a few moments given Brooklyn’s persistence, bur she finally succumbs to the chloroform. She becomes putty in Rachel’s hands….or more accurately….over Foxx’s shoulder.

Rachel rolls to the outside but doesn’t leave alone, she drags Brooklyn along and drapes her over her shoulder, carrying Smith up the ramp and to the backstage area.

Susie: It looks like Rachel Foxx has just abducted, Brooklyn Smith.

Dollar: Where is she taking her? Where? I’m still waiting on my answers.

The crowd pleads with Rachel to return Brooklyn, but their despair is a symphony to Foxx’s ears….one she wished had a tune up dial so she could crank the volume. Without so much a backwards glance, Rachel carries Brooklyn off through the curtains, which means that Gary is left all on his own….A concussed Gary at that.

Dollar: Oh great….Gary….who is in absolutely no condition to wrestle at the moment, is by himself.

Susie: Against four of the most destructive forces on the planet.

Somehow Gary has managed to crawl away from the steps he was dumped on, and grabs the apron, desperately dragging himself to his feet. But now Adams swoops in, reaches through the ropes and grabs Gary by the ears, pulling him up and through the ropes into the worse possible position, the ring, where three out of four of his opponents are waiting.

But Gary is all Jackson’s….He pulls Matt to the center of the ring, hooks both of his arms and heaves him up into the air and delivers the package piledriver he was so desperate to deliver at the End of the Year Special. Like a coil Gary springs from the canvas and collapses across his side, saliva seeping from the corner of his mouth and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

Susie: That’s not gonna do any favors to his head boo-boo. He can have my Hello Kitty bandage if that’ll help him.

Dollar: I don’t think anything is going to help, Gary. At this point his destruction is all but a guarantee.

Susie: I think he’s going to end up just like you and Axl Evermore….

Dollar: Yes, the three of us do share glorious heads of hair.

Susie: That’s not what I was talking about…..but it’s true.

Rain and Brandy take it upon themselves to set the table up outside of the ring as Priest enters the ring and grabs hold of Gary’s wonderful hair. He heaves him up by the bangs and then throws him through the ropes to the apron, where he lands nothing but dead weight.

Jackson: Nathan was wrong about you, Gary. He was wrong to reconsider his stance on all of you newbies.

Adams unleashes this reprehensible rhetoric while delivering slaps to the already concussed head of Gary….a head he then drags under his seat. Gary’s arms are pinned to his sides and Jackson glances over his shoulder at the table, his teeth forming the most disgusting of smiles.

Dollar: This is just too much….too damn much. I can’t watch this happen to someone else….I can’t let the End Effect cost another man his career.

Susie: Oh great…sit down Johnny….don’t make me pull a Brooklyn Smith and jump on your back!

No pleas from Susie will stop Johnny from doing what’s right. Even though he can barely stand upright and almost falls flat on his face thanks to the weight of his cervical collar, the unbalanced Dollar steps around the announce table, attempting an intervention. And that attempt goes horribly awry when he’s spotted by Priest, who rolls to the outside of the ring and takes out the commentator with a huge punch to the cheek. Dollar is dropped like a bag of sand and lies just as motionless across the mats.

Susie: Poor Johnny….oh poor Johnny…..why do you have to be like Gary Matt and not listen to the ones who care about you.

Jackson looks over his shoulder at the laid out Dollar and grins…no…not just grins…..he laughs….more than just a tad amused to see the commentator go flat on his ass. All the while Rain and Brandy, who have rolled back into the ring are watching with equally as wide smirks….but will be wearing even larger grins once they see Gary dumped on his head through the table. Jackson is on the verge of going back to delivering the move that will tragically cut Gary’s career short, but has no idea that an equally as grim fate is being endured by his teammates. Two unfamiliar figures leap the barricade, having dashed through the crowd only to ultimately circumvent security and slide into the ring.

Susie: Who in the….who are these two?

Suddenly the crowd begins to wise up, realizing who these two are as their reputation definitely proceeds them. Sophie and Mark O’Brian, the unit collectively known as Total War come sliding into the ring and dispatch End Effect while their attention was elsewhere. Rain spins around just in time to be caught around the neck and flipped over by Mark into the War-Games. The moonsault uranage connects and leaves the masked Rain twitching across the canvas. Brandy takes notice of her partner’s plight but can do nothing about it given the fact that Sophie is rushing, leaping into what appears to be a crucifix style pin, but then quickly transitions into a modified Canadian destroyer style piledriver. The Ode to Braddock connects and leaves Brandy with even more glossed over eyes than Gary.

Susie: Ciminies! These two just laid out the End Effect….and from what I’m being told through my head-set…..this pair is collectively known as Total War….which was they just brought to the IWC.

Now it’s Jackson turns to take notice of what’s happening to his associates, watching Rain and Brandy roll around twitching on the canvas while Mark and Sophie O’Brian crouch over them, getting a very up close and personal view of the destruction at their hands. Adams drops Gary and goes after Total War….summoning Priest to lend him aid. The big man follows Jackson into the squared circle and the two immediately pounce on the O’Brian’s, who are more than capable of defending themselves. A war of fists breaks out between both groups who eventually spill either through or under the ropes and eventually take their skirmish over the barricade and into the crowd. Gary watches all of this unfold from the apron….and the irony of Total War’s method of debut is not wasted on Gary….realizing that this is just how he and Brooklyn made their first impact on the IWC roster.

Susie: That’s right, Gary, Total War following your example, debuting just like you and Brooklyn did all those months ago. And in the process they may have just saved your ass.

Gary is still trying to figure out rather than really just happened, or if he’s suffering some deja-vu style hallucinations. Nevertheless, he rolls into the ring and goes after one of the three Rain’s he presently sees through his concussed vision. He takes Rain’s head into his hands and leads him along to his feet before swooping in behind him and hooking both of his arms. He’s on the verge of delivering the Brain Damage….again the irony of this not wasted on the fans…..but can’t even begin to get Rain up into his rendition of the full nelson. The second he tries to lift Rain, both his legs and his arms lose all feeling.

The paralysis in his limbs causes Gary to lean over, putting hands to his knees as he tries to maintain his balance. Brandy utilizes this time to recover and now rushes across the ring to get her hands on Gary, taking him around the neck and setting up for the ‘Like, Whatever.’ She drops back into a career ending downward spiral only to hit the canvas and find nothing to show for her troubles, because Gary has grabbed the top rope and prevented his skull from being dragged down into the canvas.

Susie: Gary just spared himself from another move intentionally targeting his head….maybe he’s got more left in the tank than we all thought.

Brandy rolls away from Gary and starts to rise to her feet while reaching back for her ailing spine. To everyone’s surprise, perhaps more to Brandy’s than anyone else’s….Gary finds the strength to step out of the ropes, wedge his shoulders to her kidneys and heave her up into the Maniac Rack. The whole building is rejoicing as Gary stretches Brandy over his shoulders and wrenches her body up and down, almost snapping her spine in the process.

Susie: Gary got Brandy up in the rack….he’s making the End Effect pay penance for everything they’ve done to him and the rest of this roster. He’s subjecting them to the same type of punishment they’ve inflicted on so many others.

Brandy is screeching as loud as a cat with his tail caught in a door, already finding herself on the brink of submission. But that doesn’t happen thanks to the interference of Rain, who swings a chair right into Gary’s upper back. The steel ricochets off of Matt’s spine and takes all the fight from his body. Gary collapses to the canvas and releases Brandy from her plight…..the damage already done to both she and Matt alike.

Susie: And Rain using the chair to turn the odds back in the End Effects favor yet again.

It looks like this isn’t all Rain has planned for the chair. In aggravation he sets up one chair, then rolls to the outside of the ring and reaches over the barricade, grabbing two more chairs. He slides them both into the ring and then sets one up to face the other. The third chair is then turned into a makeshift bridge running between both chairs.

Susie: We saw this at the End of the Year Special against Axl Evermore…which led to Axl’s banning from all future IWC telecasts until he is medically cleared to wrestle….but it might have even worse effects on Gary.

Now that the death trap has been constructed, Rain puts it to nefarious uses. He grabs Gary around the neck, leading him along to his knees before ultimately dragging the lifeless Matt up into position for the Drowning Current. He is moments from putting Gary down face first into the steel but waits for Brandy to get into position. She climbs up onto the apron and grabs the top rope, springing up onto it in order to deliver the dropkick to the back of Gary’s head that would give Rain even greater momentum behind the downward spiral into the chairs.

But the moment she springs to the top rope, Johnny Dollar leaps to the apron behind her and grabs her ankle. He rips it right out from under Danielle, resulting in her nasty ribs first landing across the cables.

Susie: Johnny D! Johnny D getting some retribution!!

Brandy springs off the ropes and lands on her back as opposed to putting her feet to Gary’s back. And now it’s Rain who turns HIS back on Gary, dropping him in order to check on Brandy’s condition. Somehow else who is surveying this situation, is Jackson Adams, who struggles through the crowd to get back to the ring. He makes it half way before stopping once he spots Rain showing some compassion for the ailing Danielle.

It’s this moment of empathy that exposes Rain to the Brain Damage. Gary swoops in behind his adversary, hooks his arms and heaves him up before he can suffer any paralysis in his arms. Ultimately it’s Rain who suffers total head to toe numbness when he’s put through the chair bridge.

Susie: Full nelson into the chairs! Can this be possible? Can Gary actually be on the verge of a win?

A barely conscious Gary somehow manages to drag Rain away from the ruined chairs and drop across his chest. The fans are in pure frenzy mode as the official slaps the canvas and the crowd counts along.

1

2

3

The Manhattan Center rumbles, the very foundation shaking as the End Effect has at long last been bested by a man who they came so close to crippling on so many occasions.

Susie: Gary’s done it! I don’t know how….but he’s pulled off the miraculous. Even after a concussion….even after Brooklyn was abducted by Rachel Fox…..he manages to pull off a miracle that would even make Disney envious.

The crowd is on its feet and showing mad props to the durable, tough, unshakeable Gary, who survived so many obstacles to deliver the death blow to the End Effect. He can’t even manage to celebrate….which only extends to a lifting of is arm by the referee…thanks to the injuries inflicted on his head.

Susie: Gary might not have much left in him to celebrate this win, but he has done the impossible. The End Effect defeated here tonight.

Much like the fans, Johnny Dollar is showing his appreciation for Gary’s efforts and his unbelievable victory this evening. Although Gary is unfortunately unable to soak up this adulation. He rolls to the exterior of the ring, thanks in no small part to the aid of referee Ingelson.

Once outside the ring he leans over the official’s shoulders and is aided to the backstage area….no easy feat considering his knees keep wanting to buckle under him.

Susie: Gary had a lot going against him in this match…a concussion…the abduction of Brooklyn Smith….which I’m not even sure he’s aware of….and a 4 on one advantage, but in the end he managed to overcome all of these hardships and put a resounding conclusion to his issues with the End Effect.

Chains clink and clank the moment Brooklyn tries to raise her shackled hands. They don’t get very far, finding her hands cuffed to the arms of a chair. The fog in her mind begins to clear as her eyes adjust to the poor lighting. Form takes shape…the shapes of Rachel Foxx, Jaina Frost, and Ba’al.

Ba’al: Hello bright eyes.

Brooklyn’s initial response is to leap out of the seat and tear at the arteries of those who have confined her, but finds the chair legs have been bolted to the floor…meaning she won’t be getting anywhere near the executioner of justice.

Rachel: She is a tough one, Kieran, I thought she would be out for much longer.

Ba’al: No….this one has fight. She has…..passion.

Jaina: But unlike her cousin, she isn’t controlled by her passions.

Ba’al: Which is why she should make such a perfect witness.

Brooklyn is still suffering a debilitating migraine, making it next to near impossible to process thought, let alone what she hears from this satanic sect.

Brooklyn: What is this? Where the hell am I? Take these damned handcuffs off me.

Ba’al: Hahahaha…..so much fire….so much intensity. Oh how I do love it.

Brooklyn steams.

Brooklyn: Yeah, and what happens when you play with fire?

Ba’al: I’m all too aware.

She wishes her eyes hadn’t adjusted when she sees the smile twisting his face.

Jaina: Brooklyn, we’re not here for the purposes of exchanging threats. We want to hear from someone who embodies the fundamental principles of wresting. Someone grasping such notions as honor….respect…and other such misguided ideals of heroism.

Rachel: Seriously? Are you like ten years old or something? Do you still watch Power Rangers and eat giant bowls of Coco Pebbles every Saturday morning?

Ba’al: We yearn for a different perspective, my lass. You are a true believer. You exemplify the convolutions of a ‘good person.’ So it is your testimony which could be the most damming to the IWC.

Brooklyn yanks at the chains but gets no closer to the throat of the miscreant.

Brooklyn: And why would I testify against the IWC? They’ve given me a good deal here.

Rachel: Did they really, Brook? I mean, think about it…really use that pretty little head on your shoulders.

Jaina: You truly are young and impetuous aren’t you, Brooklyn? And so easily brainwashed by even the most enigmatic of personalities.

Ba’al: Individuals have been using and manipulating you all your life….rather it be for surrogacy or to help twist and destroy the fragile psyche of your, cousin.

Brooklyn is silent for a moment…gnawing at her lower lip.

Brooklyn: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Ba’al: You don’t?

Rachel: Awww….isn’t she so cute? Look at her trying to figure it out.

Ba’al: I’m rather stunned, Brooklyn, that you can truly be this naïve. It hasn’t been a gavel to the back of Gary’s head or repeated attacks at the hands of the End Effect, that has inflicted so much damage on Matt, it’s been you….Brooklyn…..you and your blind faith in a system run by the corrupt.

Brooklyn: Your so full of it.

Rachel: Someone’s in deeeennniiaaalll.

<PBa’al: Orlando Cruze, he’s used you and Gary as tools to fight his battles….and he’s employed you as his most potent weapon in keeping Gary under control….keeping Gary in line….keeping Gary from asking the important questions…

Jaina: Your dedication and unshakeable resolve to what you believe to be just and right, has rubbed off on your impressionable cousin, he’s tried to emulate your unflinching loyalty…even to those who are using that loyalty to cripple his body and destroy his spirit.

Ba’al: Orlando and Taylor flaunt their love before Gary, they only keep him close in order to play off his unreturned feelings of affection…..affection for a woman who never gave a damn about him.

Jaina: The way that Orlando and Taylor have used your cousin, it’s downright disgusting.

Rachel: It almost makes me want to cry.

Ba’al: As Gary no doubt does every evening into the lip of a bottle.

Jaina: You see it, every day, Brooklyn, Gary’s increasing instability….his gradual descent into madness.

Ba’al: The Gary Matt that you knew, is dead…and it’s this very industry we judge tonight, that has killed him. An industry that stole the only thing he ever loved from his side. An industry that has used this stolen affection to gnaw and chip away at his mind until there was nothing left of the honorable, passionate man you call family. An industry that has abused his affections to their own ill-gotten gains

Rachel: Poor Gary….

Ba’al: Indeed, and it has been you, young Brooklyn, that has been instrumental in his continuation down this path of utter ruin. You keep him from questioning Orlando’s dictatorship. You convince him to continue fighting this ‘good fight,’ even when it’s all a masquerade for Taylor Chase to use his unrequited love to do her bidding…

Jaina: And the more you convince him to follow Orlando’s edict, the greater the damage it does to his mind….his soul…and especially his liver.

Brooklyn looks down and AWAY from the trio, trying her best not to let their words infect her mind….but it cannot be helped….she cannot deny nor refute these accusations

Rachel: Someone’s starting to open her eyes.

Ba’al: The fog is dissipating…..shapes take form in the shadows…and now you see the true enemy in your midst, Brooklyn, enemies you’ve unintentionally conspired with to the utter ruination of a cousin you’ve tried to protect. You’ve once again been used, Brooklyn.

Jaina: To unwittingly hurt the ones that you love the most.

Ba’al: And it’s this company that is responsible….responsible for everything, young Brooklyn, from using you to fight Orlando’s battles, to twisting Gary’s insatiable need for love to his own destruction. So help us condemn them. Say it, Brooklyn, pronounce guilt, and see the wicked punished for their sins.

Brooklyn says nothing, but her silence is louder than any word.

Rachel: Seems to me her silence says it all.

Ba’al: Indeed…..

Greyson Lovejoy has a face buried in his hand….his one free hand that is….considering the other is presently tucked up the rectum of his puppet….A puppet no doubt on the verge of causing him much grief. Why, because Sparkles has been tasked with interviewing another member of the female roster….the lovely Marie Jones. Sparkles is presently eyeballing Marie with jaw agape and eyes a bit more googly than ever.

Sparkles: Someone up above really….really favors Sparkles.

Lovejoy: And someone deep below really, really has it in for me.

After a very deep breath, Greyson summons the courage to begin this interview.

Lovejoy: I just want to apologize in advance, Mrs. Jones.

Marie bats her eyes….a clear indication of her confusion.

Marie: For what….exactly.

Sparkles: Have you ever had a literal case of cotton-mouth?

Lovejoy: For that.

Instead of being offended, Marie smiles bending down and patting Sparkes’ green fro.

Marie: Awww…he’s a horny little thing isn’t he?

Lovejoy: Please don’t encourage him. It’s like feeding a bear.

Marie scratches Sparkles under the jaw, hitting the puppet’s most tender spot….

Marie: Don’t worry, Greyson is it….?

He’s almost too afraid to confirm his name.

Marie: I’m not easily offended.

Sparkles: I hope your easy in other areas, Red.

<PLovejoy: Let’s just get this over as quickly as possible shall we?

A very deep breath is taken to fill his lungs. He then begins to speak in a rapid tone.

Lovejoy: Congratulations on your victory tonight…..you’ve got big things in store for the IWC…..You plan on winning titles…..You want to wrestle the best and make a statement. Sparkles makes a sexist comment about carpets matching the drapes….yadda…yadda…good day to you, Ma’am, please no harassment lawsuits….Yadda-yadda.

A hand slaps down around Sparkles’ mouth, forcing it shut as Greyson quickly takes off, preventing his puppet from getting him into yet even more legal issues. Marie’s eyes bat even quicker than Greyson talks.

Marie: Well, that was easy.

Frankie: Don’t get use to that.

The obnoxious Paradise overshadows Greyson’s abrupt departure and interrupts Marie’s thoughts.

Frankie: Because nothing is easy around here. You’ll learn that soon enough. You’re in for a rough ride.

Marie: Obviously.

She bobs her head and tells Frankie what he wants to hear…..Actually, there’s no telling what he wants to hear, and it would probably be more akin to a column from Penthouse forum.

Frankie: In fact, Baby-Doll, considering that I was the one who personally signed you to a contract, I’m expecting a little more out of you than everyone else on this roster.

Marie: Erm…okay.

Frankie: I’m holding you to a higher level than everyone else, and you had better stack up.

He says this while looking down his nose at her chest.

Frankie: Though you’ve already got a good start on that.

Marie: Well, I will try my best….but you know, being the one who signed me and all, that I’m capable of bringing something truly unique to this federation.

Frankie: You had better. Because I’m currently in the process of trying to get the board to agree on signing off on the contract for another HUGE name….And if you fall flat, I’m afraid it’ll effect that debut I’ve been working so hard to put together.

Marie: Believe me, I’m not going to fail….I’ll do exactly what I did in that ring moments ago…..WIN.

Frankie: Win….Ha.

Frankie removes his shades so she can see just how serious his eyes are.

Frankie: You honestly think that winning is all I expect out of you. It isn’t. I want more.

Marie: Um, what was that guy with the puppet just saying about sexual harassment lawsuits?

Frankie: No…that’s NOT what I’m eluding to. There are other ways for you prove yourself deserving of the lucrative contract I signed you to.

Marie doesn’t bat eyes, she just stares blankly, like a deer in headlights.

Jackson: Maybe I really have been concussed.

There is no hiding Jackson’s aggravation, he has no filter for his words and he wears his emotions on his sleeves…His gait belies frustration and his words are absent of their usual pompous flair. His tone is more akin to Christian Bale after smoking an entire carton of cigarettes in order to pull of his entirely too gravely Batman voice…..and the fans aren’t the only ones forced to listen to it as they watch him pace the ring….Rain, and Brandy Danielle are also attune to Jackson’s raspy voice and convoluted rhetoric…..

Jackson: Because I can swear I’m suffering hallucinations again.

Although Rain and Brandy barely cling to coconsciousness, still kneeling amongst the debris from the No Disqualification match, they try to follow Jackson’s every word.

Dollar: What’s Jackson rambling about?

Susie: Welcome back to Riot!….

Dollar: With these End Effect assholes still in the ring….haven’t we seen enough of them yet?

Susie: Apparently not….Jackson addressing what we saw mere moments before the commercial break.

MOMENTS AGO

The full-fledged chaos that unfolded when the End Effect went to war with Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith is relived via a flash of violent and vivid images. Gary and Brooklyn leaping the top rope, Brandy being thrown into Jackson’s sternum, Priest tossing steel steps into Matt’s skull….these are just a few of the more visceral images rehashed.

Dollar: It was all out chaos when Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith took on the End Effect under No Disqualification Rules…

Susie: The match definitely lived up to the rules of….ya’know….not having any rules.

Dollar: To which I took full advantage of in order to get a little payback on these bastards who cost me my Tag Team Championship.

The interference Johnny references is revisited as he catches Brandy right in the midst of springing to the top rope and plucks her leg out from under her. Danielle crashes ribs first into the top rope as a result which ultimately leads to Rain being driven through stacked chairs with the Brain Damage.

Dollar: And it was a concussed Gary Matt, who somehow overcame his injuries, and the abduction of Brooklyn Smith to win this match.

Susie Really Johnny, there’s no ‘somehow’ about it, you and the Wonder Twins totally got involved.

Dollar: I’ll make no bones about it, I DID get involved and proudly at that. Though I don’t know why the team known as Total War also interfered.

Susie: I think that has something to do with Orlando’s decree about evening up the odds for this match.

Dollar: Well predictably the outcome isn’t sitting too well with this piece of fecal excrement in the ring.

Jackson: I HAVE to be hallucinating….I just have to….there’s no other way to explain it. How could Rain have possibly been pinned by Gary Matt?

The pain coursing through Rain’s body keeps him knelt and unable to offer much in the way of a rebuttal.

Jackson: The End Effect had a four on two….no…..I stand corrected….we had a four on ONE advantage….meaning there couldn’t possibly be anyway that we could be bested…right….RIGHT!?!

It becomes clear that it’s not pain that silences Rain and Danielle….but their humiliation.

Jackson: WRONG!

The two crouched End Effect members exchange confused glances.

Jackson: Because you two are NOT IWC originals….you are still newbies…a fact that was NEVER lost on me.

The looks in their eyes are even more latent with confusion.

Jackson: And although it was fun using you guys the same way the powers that be have used legends like myself to their own gains…it was a blast playing one group of underserving newbies off another group of undeserving nitwits….I’m afraid you’ve outlived your usefulness and this has already gotten old.

Without any further delay Jackson lobs the microphone into Rain’s face, taking him down to the canvas. Before an already fractured Rain can respond, his head is grabbed and he is dragged to the apron. Rain is too weakened by the previous match to respond in time to prevent being heaved up and then ultimately dropped down via the package pilderiver off the apron through a table.

Dollar: WHOA.

Susie: I just totally turned into Joey Lawrence too.

Dollar: Jackson Adams….all this time….has just been using the End Effect to try and take out other newcomers here in the IWC….namely Gary Matt and Brooklyn Smith?

Susie: And now that he’s through with them, he just put Rain out with the package piledriver through that table.

Dollar: The same move that crippled me.

Jackson rolls out of the chunks of wood and leaves Rain stretched motionless across the mats. A piercing ‘holy shit’ chant emanates from the crowd resulting from not only the piledriver, but the swerve Adams just pulled on the End Effect. Brandy may have suffered the results of this swerve, but has recovered in time to give pursuit to Adams, chasing him only to the barricade that Jackson has leaped over. She pause to come to the aid of her friend, Rain, who is still showing no life as he rests amongst the wooden chunks.

Jackson: Respect…..respect…..respect…

This word is mumbled as Adams backs through the crowd with Brandy finally vacating the side of her partner to leap the barrier and give pursuit. As one party leaves, another makes his presence known as ringside. Viktor Drugov has jumped over the barrier and moves as discreetly to the side of Rain as possible. With a monocle over her eye Nevena leans over the bannister of the balcony watching closely as Drugov grabs Rain’s mask and pries it off of his unconscious head. He then jumps over the barricade and rushes up the steps to the balcony.

Dollar: Did Nevena’s bodyguard just steal the mask off of Rain’s head?

Susie: Please put it back on.

Said mask finds its way extended towards Nevena, who opens a small ziplock bag for it to be placed in.

Ashley: Gary….where are you going?

Matt leans heavily against the wall, putting his palms against it to prop his body. In spite of the fact that he barely has any function left in his lower body, Gary manages to inch down the corridor with Ashley Marie Chase following behind.

Ashley: We need to get you back to the Trainer’s room, like right now!

Gary: I’ve got to find Brooklyn.

Ashley: And then what exactly? What are you going to do to Ba’al when you do cross paths with him and go to rescue Brooklyn? How are you going to fight him when you can’t even stand up?

Gary doesn’t respond, he just keeps on moving down the corridor.

Ashley: Why don’t you let me find Brooklyn. I can get my Sister to help, and maybe even Unity will pitch in and…..Gary….

It becomes obvious to her that he isn’t listening.

Ashley: GARY!

Gary: GET AWAY FROM ME!

The hands that moved to comfort him are now snatched hold of and griped by the wrists. Gary squeezes until he sees the look in Ashley’s eyes, the look of fear.

Ashley: Gary.

Chase’s tone prompts Gary to ease his grip on her wrists.

Gary: Why?

Ashley: Why what?

Gary: Why did you leave?

Ashley: I’m…..sorry?

Gary: What did I do to drive you away?

Ashley: Gar….you’re.-your’re not making any sense. You need to sit down and….

Gary: NO!

The hallucinating Matt squeezes her wrists again and now pulls Ashley’s hands to his heart.

Gary: Why don’t you love me?

Gary’s behavior is irrational to say the least, but Ash finally manages to make some sense of it, realizing whom she’s been mistaken for.

Ashley: Gary, I’m not….

All his leg strength leaves him and his knees buckle, forcing Gary to the foor as his arms drop to his sides and his jaw to his chest.

Gary: I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.

Ashley stands there unsure how to react before at last pulling Gary’s head into her hip and stroking the back of his skull.

Ashley: It’s gonna be okay, Gary, you’re gonna be okay.

Layla Storm and Gunner Bryant are two names looking to make an instant impact here in the IWC….trading in the training wheels for the big boy bike. Gone is the safety net of the development league they just sprang from, and now they’re on the center-stage, under the bright lights….ready to compete under the eyes of the millions watching all around the world. And surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of jitters of butterflies….they just go about their stroll towards the ring acting as if it’s another day on the job. Even when joined by the pill popping and pill pushing Comeau.

Mark: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here alongside Layla Storm and Gunner Bryant, two individuals on their way to the ring slated to compete next against the debuting Danny Darko.

The pair nods but maintains their focus on the match rather than Mark’s questions.

Mark: We’ve seen what you two can do in the Developmental System….BUUUT….Danny Darko is largely a mystery here to IWC fans and wresters alike. Does it make you nervous competing against a man you know little about?

Gunner and Layla debate who is going to field this one.

Gunner: Yeah, Darko…the name alone inspires fear….but Layla and I have battled through too much…through too many obstacles to reach this stage and let fear of the unknown derail our momentum.

Layla: Some people are saying this is going to be a squash, that Gunner and I stand no chance….and that this is only a showcase for Darko. But that’s NOT the truth, because this is OUR chance….OUR opportunity to show the world that we deserve to be on this stage.

Gunner: No one is going to take that away from us….

Mark: Watch yourselves!

Comeau ducks just in time to avoid the bat swung over his head right into the kisser of Bryant. Before Gunner even has a chance to hit the floor….Layla is being subjected to a shot to the ribcage from that very same bat. She is then pie faced down to the concrete by a….FURIOUS….TPKid.

Mark tries to hide under the bodies of the two rookies just creamed by Kid’s baseball bat, nervously extending a microphone to catch Kid’s words. The piercing eyes of this trailer park denizen turn to address the camera….before he actually reaches out and grabs the rather expensive piece of equipment.

TPKid: ETHAN!

The name alone causes him to choke on his own emotion….his rage becoming too much for him to contain….as if the mangled bodies on the floor behind him weren’t evidence enough.

TPKid: You’re not walking away from this, ya coward. Ya WILL answer for what ya did to Team Bob at the End of the Year Special…..and you’re gonna do all your talking into this Louisville Slugga’ right chere.

He slams the very bat that just knocked out both Storm and Bryant…but this time it connects with his own open palm.

TPKid: I’m gonna find ya on New Age….and my NEW partner….

The bat is swung into the lid of a nearby crate.

TPKid: Is gonna find its way down ya throat!

That same crate has a foot wedged to it and is now kicked down the hall where it eventually connects to the skull of a crawling Gunner. After making a rather emphatic statement, Gary marches on, storming down the corridor and leaving a pile of bodies in his wake. But is he really the one to blame for this destruction, or is Porno Lad the true culpable party?

Dollar: TPKid laying out Gunner Bryant and Layla Storm before they could reach the ring…..and now he’s made it clear, he’s coming for Porno Lad at New Age….

Susie: THIS is no good for anyone.

Dollar: Anyone who tries to stand between Kid and Porno Lad.

Mark peeks out from behind Layla Storm, having no qualms to employ a woman as a human shield

Mark: Excuse me, Layla is it? If you need some pain pills I can so hook you up with them.

Some people are the life of the party.

A champagne cork pops from the bottle and the bubby spurts out.

Some people just have that magnetic personality.

Excited ladies and gents alike hold up their glasses as one of their fellow party goers indiscriminately fills their glasses. The jostling of the limo every time it hits a bump causes a few of the drinks to splash to, but the excited troupe will not allow their festive vibe to be ruined by a few wet laps.

Some people just have the charm to turn the whole world on.

The camera finds its way through the partiers to the man seated in the back of the limo….distanced from the rest of the more rowdy bunch.

William Mason: I’m William Mason…

He seems to look at these elated youths with drear, yawing as their party rages on.

<PWilliam Mason: And I have it all.

Words instantly replace the image of William’s melancholic expression.

2014….the year of wealth….power….and sophistication.

We return to the interior of the Manhattan Center just in time to catch some UNEXPECTED tunes blaring through the speakers.

”RISE” by Skillet results in an uproar….a smattering of both cheers and boos which creates a lethal concoction and a bittersweet taste in the mouth of Shaun Cruze. Crutches aid Shaun in his progression through the curtains to the stage. He hesitates there hobbling on one foot and listening to the mixed responses from the sold out Manhattan Center crowd

Dollar: Why?

Susie: It’s Orlando’s younger and far less tinted brother.

Dollar: Why?

Susie: He’s here mere moments before Unity is about to lock up with the Blacklist.

Dollar: Why?

Susie; And he’s still sporting the results of his injuries after slipping off the apron last week.

Dollar: Why oh why is he here…..NOW?

As Brandy is dragged from the fragmented chunks of wood by EMTS at ringside, Shaun fills the void, making his way down the ramp towards the squared circle

Shaun: Hello New York….

The cheap pop actually doesn’t result in a cheap pop.

Shaun: You guys are probably wondering what brought me here tonight. It’s these….

He lifts his crutches aloft.

Shaun: I’m here to set your minds at ease. The injury I suffered last week isn’t nearly as bad as it first seemed. Just a sprang is all, and the doctors have instructed me to stay off it in my down time. But….

Any semblance of egotism or bravado rapidly fades from Shaun’s face, appearing far more serious, and far less pompous.

Shaun:….after I accidently kicked my brother…and failed to come to his aid at the End of the Year Special, I decided that injury or no injury, I just couldn’t sit idle. I had to do something to make up for my past blunders. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do right now. I’m going to take a seat right here at ringside and make sure that grieves injury does not befall the people that I care about.

The crowd wonders who those ‘people’ might be. Shaun remains serious, his focus unwavering even while being heckled and having his motivations called into question by a particularly verbal sect of the audience.

Shaun: Even while on the mend Shaun’s gonna make amends by sitting out here and making sure things don’t get out of hand.

Before filling a chair that is situated in the corner of two conjoining barricades, Shaun turns to the camera closest to his face.

Shaun: You’re welcome, Bro.

Cruze moves his crutches aside so that he can sit on the chair and watch this next match with a keen eye and the best vantage point.

Dollar: Things getting hairy….we go from an emotional high in seeing the End Effect get their comeuppance, back to an all-time low now that Shaun Cruze has taken a seat out here. Who knows what this man’s motives are.

Susie: To look buff in that entirely too tight fitting t-shirt?

Dollar: Well there’s that….But I think this man has more ulterior motives.

Susie: I guess we’re going to find out what those motives are….when Blacklist battles Unity….next.

The show fades to commercial on the smarmy Shaun and his oh so smarmy smirk.

P Clarence Whitman III’s forehead probably isn’t the only area of his body saturated by bodily fluids. Once again he finds himself in the witness stand, hands nervously rubbing his arms in protective fashion. He feels so uneasy when answering the inquiries of a pacing Silence, who has placed glasses over the eye slits of her mask.

Silence: Mr. Whitman, 2013 saw the resurrection of the Independent Wresting Cartel, which has largely been a blight on the wresting landscape, thanks in no small part to employees such as yourself.

Whitman: Ummm….errrmmm…was there a question in there somewhere?

Mr. Gaunt: ORDER!

The gavel strikes the podium and sends Whitman leaping about five feet out of his chair.

Silence: In spite of our best attempts, you, as well as so many others continue to be victims of your fear. You show no growth….

Whitman: Ummm….uhhh….far be it from me to disagree but….

Mr. Gaunt: ORDER!

Another bang-bang-bang of the gavel and thump-thump-thump of Whitman’s heart.

Silence: Do not sit there and commit perjury, Mr. Whitman. Let’s examine the evidence shall we?

Whitman: Oh….evidence?

Silence: Roll the footage.

Mr. Hush, wearing a bailiff uniform over his traditional suit and bowler’s hat, drags an oversized television screen into the room. He flips on the monitor.

Silence: Please tell the court what we’re watching.

The footage in question relates to P Clarence Whitman III on the verge of locking up with Legion. That doesn’t happen, given the fact that Whitman would rather tuck tail and run as opposed to batting the unknown and menacing entity that is the masked personification of fear. We witness Whitman lunging over the barricade and putting quite a bit of distance between himself and the monster who watches him leave from the apron.

Whitman: I ummm…..yes….I believe that this was my first encounter with that particularly demonic apparition, Legion.

Silence: Encounter? Did you not flee rather than fight?

Whitman: Well…I suppose that’s one way of considering it. Yet it is not uncommon behavior when battling this menace…..many have ran rather than enduring his wrath. However, that is the old Whitman….since that fateful night I’ve not only raced to the aid of Legion, but I’ve also formed quite the team with him.

Silence: So you’re no longer dominated by phobias?

Whitman: Absolutely not.

Silence: Let’s fast forward shall we?

Quite a bit of time is elapsed as the footage cuts to the main event of the End of the Year Special, where Whitman and Katelyn Buehler are the final two members of Team Bob.

As this footage begins to air, Whitman slowly covers his face and stirs anxiously in the witness stand.

Silence: Please indulge the court and tell us what we’re seeing here.

Though Buehler will have to be quite dependent on Whitman to increase the likelihood of their victory, Clarence opts to live to fight another day. He weasels out of a potential four on two beat-down by implementing a steel chair against Aaron Harrison’s skull and pronouncing his disqualification.

Silence: You were saying something about..growth?

Whitman: Well….I…..I…..

Silence: Yes?

Whitman: I was still suffering the ill-effects of a cold brought on by exposure to cold baptismal waters. This was combined with my receiving viewing of pornographic imagery in an attempt to better understand my teammates….putting a particular amount of strain on my mind. And mother….oh yes….mother would have been entirely too distressed to see her precious son facing down almost the entirety of the Blacklist all on his own….I could not in good conscious put such strain on her poor enfeebled heart.

Mr. Gaunt: You and your mother, Mr. Whitman.

Silence: Your honor….it should be obvious to the court that Whitman is still a spineless, weak, frail little man…who really needs to shave that fungus from his upper-lip.

Whitman mumbles something truly indecent beneath his breath, rubbing at his mustache in the process.

Silence: He is just another example of everything that is wrong with this company. Cowardice seems to permeate every aspect of the IWC, from the roster, to the officiating staff, to the head office. And although we’ve fought so valiantly to help this company conquer their fears, they continue to be dominated by a pestilence of phobias, and have thusly been unreceptive to our assistance.

Mr. Gaunt: Those in positions of power HAVE made numerous attempts to thwart our efforts and persecute us on the basis of our personal beliefs.

Silence: Mr Laymon, Executioner, The Blacklist, Desmond Drake….it doesn’t matter who sits at the top…..none have been receptive to our aid, none have adapted from our tutelage. So even if we offered our aid, and stood beside the IWC against this latest surge of depravity, they would remain unappreciative of our efforts, and would ultimately turn their backs upon us. It’s the same old chestnut. We help those in ‘control,’ only to ultimately witness them corrupted by their positions of power. So what would be the purpose of aiding them by saving a company that steadfastly refuses to evolve, and accept us rather than shun us?

Mr. Gaunt taps his gavel against his jaw, given much to think about.

Mr. Gaunt: Unity, in spite of their quintessentially one dimensional bimbo mentalities, made a rather compelling argument, as do you, Silence.

He twirls the gavel as it extends between his fingers.

Mr. Gaunt: Decisions, decisions…If only I had proof that our efforts to aid the roster and the federation haven’t gone entirely in vain.

Whitman: If it comes to any consolation to you, Mr. Gaunt, your assemblage of odd associates have made quite the impression upon me.

All those convened for this trial look less than convinced, given the quiver in Whitman’s voice and the tremble of his lips.

Whitman: Look at how wonderfully I’ve been influenced by the Black Crusade. Before our interactions I never would have possessed the courage to propose to Lois Prince.

An eye roll and a face-palm from the Black Crusade representatives

Whitman: So you see, you’re efforts have not entirely been without results.

Mr. Gaunt: I’m afraid you’ve failed to meet your burden of proof.

Whitman: But the Black Crusade have no doubt humbled our President as well. You have coaxed Orlando Cruze, as well as Taylor Chase, into being better people. If you can influence those unscrupulous characters to turn the corner, it proves that no one is beyond reproach.

Mr. Gaunt: Your arguments are not without their merit.

Whitman: This company is showing growth, Mr. Gaunt, it is coming along, and we are beginning to develop an appreciation for your efforts. If you decide to sit idle, then all of your work will have been in vain.

Silence scoffs.

Silence: Hasn’t it already? You haven’t shown even the slightest evolution since your initial encounter with Legion….

Whitman: But I, Dear, am just a meaningless cog in a much more expansive machine.

Mr. Gaunt: No….Mr. Whitman….you figure into our plans far more than you give yourself credit for.

It’s unsure how Whitman should react to this revelation.

Silence: Ultimately, we feel this company is more than content with leaving us to click our heels and spin in circles until I will vomit or nap from pure boredom.

Mr. Gaunt: And individuals who so stubbornly deny our help, like yourself, Mr. Whitman, leave us feeling largely unrewarded for our help.

No more arguments from Whitman, who drops chin to chest and shoulders to hips.

Mr. Gaunt: Be gone, Mr. Whitman, for the Black Crusade have much to discuss. This is not a decision we will make in jest.

Eagerly Whitman leaves the witness stand and barrels towards the door that has now been cleared of obstructions.

Mr; Gaunt: Oh, and Mr. Whitman, no matter our verdict, I presume our invitation to your wedding will be promptly delivered.

The lump in Whitman’s throat is incredibly difficult to choke down.

Mr. Gaunt: Um….of course….already sent them out…..but uhhhh…..you know how poorly shipping has been handled here in the States due to the holidays and such.

A flicking of Mr Gaunt’s fingers indicate that Whitman needs to leave….and do so hastily. Clarence goes to vacate the room, feeling a bit morose that he was unable to sway the Black Crusade, but he’s not going to linger in their company any longer than he has to. He grabs the knob and of the door and yanks it ajar only to lunge back with a mild yelp at the sight of the figure lurking in the doorway.

Katelyn Buehler: Am I too late to give my testimony?

UNITY VS. BLACKLIST

Shaun Cruze remains situated at ringside, straightening out his leg so that his knee doesn’t get too stiff. He keeps an arm around his crutches, knowing they might become necessary at a moment’s notice.

Dollar: We’re back live and questions continue to abound concerning the presence of Shaun Cruze here at ringside.

Susie: It’s like you said, Johnny D, there’s no telling what’s going through the head of this guy.

Dollar: It would probably be Orlando’s fist if he were here at ringside.

The crowd couldn’t be any more excited unless their pants were off….and they would have no trouble dropping trou in response to the arrival of Unity.

Can You Hear Me Boys?

Two thirds of Unity make their way to the ring, one wearing a bright glistening World Title belt, and the other having bright, glistening purple eyes embedded in her skull. The two do their best to hype up the crowd….but their best isn’t a necessity considering that the fans are already on their feet and swept up into sheer pandemonium. They are already on their feet throwing support behind Ivy, and the woman she’s managed to help turn the page, World Champion Taylor Chase. Yvonne slaps a few outstretched hands on her way to the ring, and Taylor, learning from Ivy’s pattern of behavior, emulates her pandering to the audience. The love shown to the audience only ends when Ivy takes notice of Shaun at ringside. Cruze gives her a military salute which causes Knight to smile. She nods back in Shaun’s direction but keeps a distance. Taylor however, shows no qualms about getting up into Shaun’s face.

Tay-Tay: What are you doing here?

Shaun: Relax Tay. I’m just trying to make things right.

Tay-Tay: Sure you are….I wish I could believe that.

Shaun: Don’t worry about me, worry about the Blacklist….they’re what’s important right now.

Taylor has a lot more she’d like to get off her chest but the hand of Yvonne clasped about her wrist entices Chase to keep her mouth shut and her focus on the match. She may back away from Shaun, but doesn’t take an eye off of him even while she and her partner roll into the ring.

Dollar: Tine has arrived for one of our main events…perhaps the biggest in the IWCs tenure….Unity…the embodiment of virtue and honor about to battle the Blacklist….a staple of violence and depravity. And this match is made all that much more grandiose in scale now that we know Taylor Chase is going to be defending her World Heavyweight Title against Lukas Montgomery inside of a Steel Cage at Last Stand.

Susie: Yep, the Blacklist has taken off the kiddy gloves and are no longer out to protect Taylor Chase.

Dollar: That’s right, Yvonne Knight and Taylor Chase are going to have a much tougher time of this now that we know the Blacklist will be holding absolutely nothing back. And we’ve seen what they’re capable of when unconstrained.

Susie: Yep, but Taylor and Yvonne don’t have shackles on either. They’ve been waiting to end this against the Blacklist for quite a while now. And this match will bring them one step closer to absolution from those scoundrels.

The coveted World Championship is bestowed unto official Fitzpatrick before Knight and Chase enter consultation. Though Tay-Tay doesn’t need instruction, Ivy cannot help but to offer some tutelage…..insisting that Chase keep an even keel.

ENEMIES by Shinedown gets quite a reaction.

Unlike Unity, the Blacklist shows up in mass, the entire Trinity moving to the stage to give them that unfair numbers advantage they’ve become so accustomed to. This time the Evolution Championship drapes Harrison’s shoulder, as he, Lukas and Mika proceed to the ring. But the only reason this belt, or the World Heavyweight Title means anything to this group, is because the belts mean so much to others, those they would seek to deprive of championship gold. Mika’s upper lip stiffens at the mere sight of Tay-Tay, who is trying to coax her into the ring. Mika is not about to enter, but her brethren is. Lukas rolls in and gets to a knee, wearing a condescending smirk while Harrison is busy wedging his forehead to Mika’s, the two sharing words that are not spoken aloud.

Once Harrison slides into the ring, Mika is free to jaunt right over to Shaun, stooping down until her cleavage is right in front of Cruze’s face. She then pats him on the head and mumbles something into his ear.

Mika: Again….I am so sorry to hear about your Daddy. I know how much family means to the both of us.

Shaun tries not to lose face even when the passing of his father is mentioned.

Dollar: New number one contender, Lukas Montgomery, teaming up here alongside Aaron Harrison to perhaps inflict some serious damage on Taylor Chase before the title match at Last Stand.

Susie: Like we’ve been saying, the Blacklist isn’t worried about protecting Taylor….now their mission has become just the opposite…

Dollar: All stemming from what happened at the End of the Year Special when Taylor Chase stood up to her adoptive sister, Mika Kozlov, and flat out told her she was being disowned.

Susie: That might be the biggest mistake in Taylor’s life. I can attest to the fact that you do NOT want to bring the wrath of Mika Kozlov down on your head.

Dollar: We’re seeing the results of that right now, because the Blacklist IS an unshakeable family unit and will do anything for one another, including stepping into a cage with Taylor Chase to persecute the World Heavyweight Champion.

Susie: They just keep stacking the odds against her….how many times can she overcome these obstacles?

Mika leans back first against the barricade at Shawn’s side as the two sit back and watch the match unfold. Predictably things are starting off with Lukas and Taylor….World Champion squaring off against the next challenger for her title. They keep a close eye on another as they simultaneously pace. As Lukas eyeballs Taylor, he begins to rub his jaw, still suffering phantom pains from that TKO at the End of the Year Special.

There will be nothing phantom about the pains he’s about to force Taylor to suffer however. The two finally step in with Lukas extending a palm….in a method that mocks Yvonne’s pre-match ritual.

Montgomery: Come on Tay, you believe in honor right? Well what’s more honorable than shaking my hand?

Taylor looks towards Ivy, who shrugs and insists that Chase use her own discretion. That explains why instead of extending her palm for a shake, she stretches her hand into a slap right across Lukas’ cheek. This blow barely registers a response from Lukas…scratch that….it does get a smile.

Montgomery’s upturned lips redirect towards Chase, his jaw extending out and his eyes widening.

Montgomery: That’s honor?

Tay-Tay: NO, that’s what you DESERVE.

Montgomery: Oh come on….I think I deserve a little worse than that? How about you give it another shot….Put a little baby powder on it this time…..for added effect.

Lukas interlocks hands behind his back, leaving his face entirely exposed to the pending blow.

Montgomery: Come on, get it out of your system, and then we can all go back to loving each other again. We can be a big happy-go-lucky family.

Taylor contemplates her actions….wondering if she should indulge Lukas’ request. All of his pleas eventually fail to elicit a response.

Montgomery: Oh Taylor, why must you be do distrustful. Here we are willing to yet again throw ourselves over the coals for you, and yet you continue to….

Chase doesn’t throw a slap, she launches a knee right into Lukas’ jaw. The TKO connects with such force that it causes Lukas to bite his own tongue and go twisting across the canvas. He takes a fortuitous tumble into his own corner where Harrison manages to make the tag.

Harrison: At long last, Taylor, at long last.

Now there is nothing that restrains Aaron Harrison from indulging his more demonic delights when it comes to Taylor Chase. When they first collided, Aaron’s hands were metaphorically shackled by his unwillingness to harm Taylor and create strife with his love, Mika, but now there are no more familial ties that leave his hands bound. He and Taylor go face to face before its Chase’s cheek that feels the warmth of the back of Aaron’s hand.

The same back handed slap that Harrison delivered at the End of the Year Special sends Chase twisting across the ring and taking a fortuitous tumble into her corner. Yvonne reaches over the ropes and tags Tay’s shoulder. The World Champion looks at Yvonne with piercing eyes.

Ivy: Take a second and breathe….let me handle this…

Suddenly Harrison rushes up behind Taylor delivering a forearm to her upper back and launching her through the ropes before she can put up any protest to the tag being made. As Taylor collapses to the mats, Harrison steps back with a smirk forming on his face.

Harrison: That felt so good.

Ivy: This is going to feel even better.

Harrison hears this and turns just in time to spot Yvonne flying through the air and ultimately delivering a missile dropkick from the top rope. Aaron collapses to his back and cradles his arms over his chin, which took the brunt of the impact. Knight promptly rushes in with a sense of urgency, taking Harrison’s legs, lifting them up and trying to wrap them around her own to apply the Knight Lock.

The submission is on the cusp of being locked in and the crowd is about to lose its senses. Knight struggles to roll Harrison over, and Aaron struggles just as valiantly to prevent that from happening. Suddenly he twists to his side, sending Knight flying through the air as she is launched from his legs. But Knight manages to cartwheel over the canvas instead of slamming against it. She ultimately comes down on her feet but Harrison looks to take her off them, rushing in with a lariat.

Knight ducks this blow, rushes into the ropes behind Aaron, springs off and then launches into a big diving elbow right to Aaron’s forehead.

Harrison is staggered back but not removed from his feet, again struggling with his legs, this time trying to keep them planted beneath him. Yvonne this rushes in and delivers a step up enzugari to the back of Harrison’s skull. The stiff shot has Aaron doubled over but still not going down.

Dollar: Another demonstration of Harrison’s strength, not going down even after several strikes to the skull.

Susie: Is he made of bronze or something?

Yvonne decides strikes aren’t doing it, she needs something a bit more substantial to put Harrison down. She rushes up to his side and catches Harrison around the neck, leaping into the air for a bulldog At the last second Aaron wedges a shoulder to Yvonne’s lower back though, hoisting her up into position for a suplex. Yvonne flips over though, landing on her feet behind Aaron, who quickly spins around into yet another step up enzugari. Aaron ducks at the last second, causing Yvonne to land on her face.

Harrison grabs her legs, tosses her onto her back and tries to wrap the legs about one another in order to apply his lethal bridging Indian Death Lock variant. But this time the shoe is on the other foot, or the legs are in the other arms. Yvonne twists from side to side and eventually changes strategy, wedging feet to the chest of the one man demolition crew, kicking him off into the ropes

Aaron ricochets off the cables and comes staggering right back into the waiting clutches of Knight, who catches him with a small package into a stunning pin.

1

Aaron get his shoulder up….which was exactly what Yvonne anticipated…transitioning from pinfall back into the sharpshooter. She steps through the outstretched legs and tries to tangle them around her own in order to apply the submission but a gouging to her breathtaking purple eyes puts an end to that.

Yvonne buries her eyes into her palms and turns away from Harrison, blinded by this strike.

Dollar: Look at how the Blackist continue to stoop to new lows.

Susie: I’m watching, and I’m liking about as much as an episode of Judge Judy.

Tay-Tay does not like to see her friend and partner in such dire straits….suffering this swelling in her eye from Harrion’s well placed thumb. Aaron looks to take instant advantage, methodically stepping up behind Yvonne and snatching hold of her hair. Suddenly Knight drops back, launching a leg into the air and landing it right against Aaron’s forehead.

The backwards flipping kick has Harrison stumbled but STILL not down. This prompts Knight to kip up to her feet and go rushing into the ropes to build enough momentum to take Harrison down. She even decides to go springboard, leaping onto the middle rope and finding it works to her detriment rather than her benefit. Lukas rushes across the apron and grabs Yvonne’s face, raking her eyes and sending her tumbling back into the ring.

Susie: Looks like the Blacklist is about to turn those purple eyes, red.

Dollar: If not entirely ripping them out of their sockets.

Yvonne rolls back to her feet and swipes at her damaged retinas, which are further aggravated when Harrison swoops in and applies a side headlock. He drags her towards the ropes, wedges her eyes against the top cable and then drags her pupils across them. Eventually he leads her along into the turnbuckle, yanks back on her head and drives her face down into the top pad.

Shaun emotes concern before having his cheek grabbed and his face spun around so that he can once again stare down Mika’s cleavage. Harrison glances over his shoulder in the direction of Kozov and Cruze, but instead of reacting with jealousy, ha feint grin can be seen.

Harrison then turns back towards Knight crouched in the corner, wedging his wrist against her face and beginning to grind it back and forth across her eyes.

Harrison: You’re blind Ivy….blind to the truth about your precious Taylor, she’s NOT one of you.

Harrison then throws a back elbow into her eyes….but before they can bludgeon her pupil..Yvonne ducks down out of the way, baseball sliding across the canvas. Harrison spins around into a knife edge chop across the sternum, followed by another and then another. The strikes send Harrison spiraling across the ring before finally finding his footing and catching one of the inbound chops. He swings around Yvonne’s wrist and then uses it to pull her forward into a blatant closed fist directly into her right eye.

Dollar: The Blacklist using so much ocular based offense it would make Hurse envious.

Susie: They might take an eye out….and not even with a Red Rider BB Gun.

Harrison continues to show no qualms about intentionally targeting one of Yvonne’s most intriguing features. He now turns her to her knees and wedges one of his own against her eyes. He grinds his knee-pad right across her eyeballs, the friction ripping at her pupils. Knight falls across the canvas and blinks and blinks and blinks, trying to keep them from potentially swelling shut.

Harrison then steps across the ring and tags the outstretched hand of Montgomery, who is entirely too eager to re-enter this match. Though his jaw is enflamed with pain and his teeth rattled by the TKO, Lukas still flaps his gums towards Knight.

Montgomery: You don’t see Taylor for what she is? And it is not a good person.

Lukas takes the heel of his wrestling boot and grinds it right across Yvonne’s iris, causing her to screech in anguish. She rolls away from Lukas continuing to clutch at her eyes while Montgomery waits with baited breaths and an intense snarl. His expression gets even more twisted when his eyes deviate to the pacing Taylor on the apron, screaming out for her Unity ally to make the tag.

Montgomery: Go on Ivy, go on sweetheart….go make your tag….then watch Taylor reveal what she really is.

Yvone can barely see, but realizes that she’s drawing closer to the clapping hands of the World Champion.

<PMontgomery: On second though.

Almost on cue Harrison grabs Tay-Tays’s ankle and rips her legs out from under her. Chase comes crashing down to the outside mats rather forcefully while Harrison backs away, stretching his arms out to his sides and tilting his head sympathetically. Lukas then grabs Ivy by the hair and drags her back to the center of the ring. He bends down and takes her around the jaw, holding up her head and forcing her to listen to every insidious comment that seeps through his teeth.

Lukas: Deep down, Taylor is just like Orlando Cruze, she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Lukas leads the blinded Yvonne to her feet and then delivers a blatant back elbow to her eyes, sending her stumbling across the ring. She plants her feet just as Lukas boots her to the ribs, takes her by the wrist and whips her off across the ring.

Yvonne continues to struggle with vision impairment but somehow manages to see the ropes in front of her. She springs to the middle rope just as Harrison rushes across the apron to reach out and rake her eyes. At the same time Lukas is rushing in behind her back to press his advantage. That’s when Yvonne springs from the top rope and leap frogs BACKWARDS over Lukas’ head, causing him to go dashing right under her and ALMOST ramming into Harrison.

But Lukas stops just short of Harrison and backs away with palms defensively raised. Neither man is aware that Ivy is building momentum by ricocheting from the ropes and coming back in at her Blacklist rivals. Lukas spins around and cocks back his fist launching it at Yvonne, who ducks the knuckles sliding under the bottom rope and through Harrison’s legs in the process. She grabs Aaron’s ankle, rips it out from under him and sends him collapsing hard to the outside mats.

The fans respond with fervor at the sight of Harrison getting his comeuppance….and Knight isn’t through yet. She leaps to the apron, grabs the middle rope and then launches her shoulder through the cables into the ribs of the inbound Montgomery.

The stiff impact to his abdomen curls Lukas and sends him back peddling from the Unity member.

Dollar: Yvonne building momentum….she’s actually rising to the challenge of the Blacklist.

Susie: And doing so with her eyes being turned into mashed potatoes. Hmmm….purple mashed potatoes…sounds tasty.

Dollar: Do you listen to anything that comes out of your mouth?

<PSusie: Depends if its anything to do with Power Rangers.

With Lukas staggering back, he puts enough space between himself and Yvonne for her to go springboard. She grabs the top rope and is about to launch herself over only to have Mika provide a distraction. Kozlov leaps up onto the apron at her side and lifts her i-phone, filming Yvonne. Mika’s amateur cinematic skills are not well received, hence why Yvonne delivers a quick kick to the phone, flinging it from Kozlov’s hands.

And then its Lukas’ hands that find their way into Yvonne’s eyes. He reaches over the ropes and blatantly gouges the eyes, really clawing them to the despair of the crowd.

Dollar: Mika totally distracting Yvonne…which proved costly to her team and her eyesight.

Susie: If her vision is taken, she might not be able to read my autobiography.

Dollar: Considering said autobiography consists of nothing but pop ups and glitter….I think she’ll have no trouble reading it.

Shaun stews a bit awkwardly in his chair the longer he watches Yvonne’s eyes being gouged by Montgomery, but he does nothing about it. Lukas stops tearing at the eyes and steps back to the center of the ring. He twists around into the Quieter, the Roaring Elbow on the verge of connecting with the back of her head. However, Ivy reaches back at the last second and catches the inbound Montgomery around his neck. She drops down off the apron and pulls the Blacklist member’s throat into the top cable.

The whiplash effect sends Lukas staggering back and gasping for air, but Yvonne is on her feet and taking control…..Wait…..Not happening. The damage to her peripheral vision keeps her from spotting Harrison swooping in at her side and delivering a devastating lariat that puts Knight to the mats.

Aaron lands beside her amidst roars of rage from an aggravated audience

Susie: There they go again….

Dollar: The Blacklist just continues to play with the rules.

Susie: And I don’t get to play too?

Dollar: I don’t think you’d want to considering how you’re last play date with Mika Kozlov went.

Speaking of Mika, she’s back to Shaun’s side, stooping beside him and stroking the back of his head with her long fingers. Even as he watches Yvonne withstand this punishment, Shaun just melts into Mika’s hands. All the fight in Knight dissolves while in Harrison’s clutches. He drags her up to her feet and then rolls her into the ring where Lukas can pick up the pieces

Montgomery steps in and leaps high into the air before stomping down right on top of Knight’s eyeballs. The stomp and the grating of the eyes leaves Ivy twitching in pure agony. But Montgomery inflicts greater punishment, sitting her up and then placing her in a modified abdominal stretch before unleashing a series of MMA style elbow strikes to her orbital socket

Dollar: Now elbows to the eyes as well…. At what point does the referee finally interfere?

Susie: When he grows a sack….that he won’t fear having the Blacklist cut off.

The elbows to the eye only ends when Lukas opts to alter strategy. His hands fill with Yvonne’s blond hair, leading her along to her knees and gripping both of her cheeks. Lukas looks over his shoulder at the impatient World Champion and smirks.

<PMontgomery: Do ya’ see? See what ya do to all those who care about you?

Lukas then turns his attention back to Ivy and finds his grip on her cheeks broken. Why? Because she throws them, along with the rest of her head, right into Lukas’ eyeball. The headbutt bangs around Montgomery’s brain in the confines of his skull, and causes him to lose his balance. Both he and his opponent crawl across the canvas, feeing at their swollen eyes before painstakingly reaching their feet.

Knight not only gets to her feet but takes off into a run, charging right at Taylor in order to make the tag. The World Champion stretches out her arm as far as it will go, until her shoulder almost dislocates from the rest of her arm. Ivy is about to slap the palm only to have Lukas rush up behind her and apply a rear waist-lock.

But Knight performs a standing switch, getting behind Lukas and then trying to leap frog him in order to make a tag. Lukas spins around though and catches her on top of his shoulders, now preparing to deliver a powerbomb. He rushes across the ring to do unspeakeable damage to her lovely bodes but Knight manages to prevent a potential crippling by completing her leap frog. She pushes herself up and over Lukas’ head, landing behind him and then diving across the ring to make the tag only to find her corner empty.

Once again Harrison has dragged Taylor down and out of position…but this time Chase lands on her feet rather than splattering across the mats.

She’s about to go down rather she likes it or not, Harrison about to lead her down to the mats via a lariat. This one is ducked by Chase, who then rushes at the ring and leaps to the apron, reaching over to make the tag to Yvonne, only to see quite a bit of distance put between herself and her partner thanks to the influence of Lukas.

Montgomery pulls Ivy back and wedges a shoulder to her spine, heaving her up and into a back drop suplex that is countered. Yvonne flips over and lands right behind Lukas before taking him around the waist and snapping back into the German suplex

Dollar: What the FUDGE!?!

Susie: Did Yvonne really just do that? She just got Lukas up into the German.

Dollar: It was amazing, but it won’t matter worth a crap if she can’t make the tag to Taylor.

The German suplex gets Yvonne back on the offensive…..but no closer to making a tag. She and Taylor seem to be on different hemispheres, but Knight is determined to close this gap. Knight rubs at her eye with one hand and uses the other to drag her towards the World Champion….but instead of getting closer, they only grow further apart….LITERLLY. Harrison sticks his head under Taylor’s seat and pulls her away from the apron in an electric chair drop position

Chase leans forward, desperately reaching out for her partner’s hand, but SHE’S the one being kept from making the tag.

Dollar: Unique predicament here. Taylor Chase being the one prevented from making the tag to Yvonne, even though she is not the legal participant.

<PSusie: Isn’t everything in the IWC ass-backwards already? So why should this come as a surprise?

Harrison continues to prop and grip Taylor upon his shoulders, refusing to let her shake free. Yvonne is so close….so incredibly close…..but she can’t get to her. It finally dawns on Knight that this is a lost cause, standing up with the aid of the ropes while Lukas barrels in behind her. Though she’s got no functional eyes in the front of her skull, the ones in the back of her head seem to be working just fine…hence how she side steps Lukas, takes him by the back of the cranium and uses his own momentum to throw him through the ropes. Lukas ends up flying into a totally unintentional suicide dive, his head plowing into Harrison’s face. At that exact moment, Taylor shoves herself into the air and off of Aaron’s head, Lukas flying under her into his skull first collision with his own partner.

Dollar: The Blacklist have claimed to be so close they share the same brain….now I think their brains are literally all in the same head.

The Blacklist collapse to the mats while Taylor ascends to the apron, where she manages to reach over the ropes and slap the hand of Knight.

Dollar: And it opens the door for Taylor to make the tag.

Susie: Hope you don’t have a weak ticker.

Dollar: If I did I’ would have had a heart attack ages ago when I first saw Kathryn Pearson in a push-up brazier

The suicide dive has both Lukas and Harrison so addled they have no idea that Taylor is lunging to the middle rope just as Yvonne takes off across the ring. Chase parts the cables so that Knight can dive not ony through them, but through her legs into yet another suicide headbutt. She has no trouble seeing her target…Harrison….the first member of the Blacklist to get to his feet. He is sent flying backwards into the barricade thanks to this dive that has the crowd rejoicing. But apparently they haven’t seen anything yet, because Taylor prepares to top her partner..maybe literally if Yvonne doesn’t clear out of the way

Chase springs off the middle rope into a big moonsault that sends her crashing down onto Montgomery. He was only on his feet for a moment, and that moment proved devastating. Lukas lands on the mats with Chase coming down across his shoulder.

Dollar: Unity going airborne!!

Susie: I give it a 8.5, and glitter.

With her comrades down, all Mika can do is watch and stir in anger. She paces impatiently, and shrieks at Montgomery and Harrison to get up. That’s precisely what they’re doing, albeit not of their own volition. Taylor pulls Aaron up to his feet and launches a series of forearms into his jaw while Montgomery is being nailed with knife edge chop after knife edge chop from a vengeful Knight.

Finally Harrison is rolled into the squared circle where Taylor prepares to put a definitive end to this once and for all. She slides in and slaps her protective steel knee brace to a response that gets the crowd far too energetic.

Susie: And the TKO is about to end it….and end these issues between Taylor Chase and the Blacklist before they can even step into the cage against one another.

Susie’s prognostication may ring true considering that Taylor is currently on the verge of dashing forward to crush Harrison’s temple. She darts forward to finally get this albatross off her back only to have something truly unexpected transpire. In a moment of deja-vu, Taylor finds herself in the same predicament that Gary Matt did at the End of the Year Special, on the verge of taking out Harrison only to have Mika slide in the way, turning herself into a human shield.

Taylor stops just shy of cracking Mika’s head with her knee-brace, lowering her leg to her side and raising her hands to her hair.

Dollar: Taylor faced with a serious dilemma here.

Susie: Do it Taylor, hit the bitch.

Dollar: She can..she’s so close….but something is keeping her from caving in Mika’s skull.

Mika cradles Aaron’s head in her arms and glares with malice at the World Champion.

Mika: Why would you hurt Daddy’s favorite little girl?

Taylor faces a moral conundrum. For some reason she just can’t bring herself to hit Kozlov with the knee. The distraction posed by Mika again leads to the undoing of Unity, as Lukas has managed to evade Knight at ringside in order to race to the aid of his family. He rushes up behind Taylor and delivers a big boot square to the back of her skull. The shot sends Chase down to the canvas with Mongomery stooping over her.

Montgomery: Like family means anything to you.

After Lukas delivers this harsh statement he prepares to deliver an even more vicious physical statement. He grabs hold of Chase’s hair, drags her up to her feet and pulls her back into his shoulders. He stands up and holds the World Champion in a torture rack that has the fans masking their faces, realizing that Chase is on the verge of being forced to submit to this sycophant.

Dollar: Lukas is going to earn a big submission victory on the eve of his Steel Cage showdown with Taylor Chase for the World Heavyweight Title. Think of the momentum this will give the Blacklist going into Last Stand.

That tap out doesn’t happen, because Ivy wields her influence, jumping to the apron and grabbing Chase by her ankle. She drags her down out of the torture rack and over the ropes to her side. Unity stands side by side as Lukas spins around and rushes at his foes only to receive a simultaneous forearm to his chin from both ladies.

Lukas goes staggering back while Harrison darts at his adversaries. He reaches over the ropes taking both ladies by their hair and then attempts to drive their skulls together. But this meeting of the minds does not happen because Yonne ducks down and slips around Chase, the two going back to back before simultaneously dropping in reverse and launching their legs into the air. Back flip kicks nail both of Harrison’s temples and leaves him straddling the top rope chest first, arms dangling over the cables.

Yvonne and Taylor then place him in a stereo front chancery The ladies read one another’s minds as they use their combined strength to heave Harrison up into the air, over the ropes and into a release vertical suplex. Harrison goes tumbling to the outside of the ring, crashing with a devastating thud across the outside mats.

Dollar: OHHHHH!

Susie: Holy FROGGER!

Dollar Harrison….Harrison DUMPED with the vertical suplex from the ring to the outside!

Susie: That had to have finally phased him.

Harrison lies across the mats, ailing from that nasty tumble while Montgomery rushes in to avenge him. He reaches over the ropes and grabs Yvonne by the shoulder only for Knight to spin around and nail him with a chop to the side of the head. Lukas is staggered, his feet almost cutting out from under him. She then grabs the top rope and pulls herself over the cables, maintaining a grip on them even as she twists her body and lands shins first across Lukas’ shoulders. She is about to hit the head scissors only to have Lukas spin around and catch Knight by the back of her ankles, going for an Alabama Slam reversal.

He drags Knight away from the ropes with her dangling over his back and preparing to be slammed gruesomely to the canvas. Taylor suddenly reaches over the ropes though and this time it’s her who saves Knight, grabbing Ivy’s wrists and preventing her from suffering the Alabama Slam.

Dollar: Chase desperately holding onto Yvonne! Trying to protect her “NEW” sister.

Nothing will break Chase’s grip on Knight’s wrists, refusing to see her destroyed.

Nothing will break Lukas’ grip on Knight’s ankles, persistent on seeing her suffrage.

It’s finally Lukas who wins out, smirking and then backing up so that he drives Knight’s face right into Tay-Tay’s jaw. The World Champion twists to the outside of the ring but lands right on top the shoulder of a recovered Harrison. Aaron then rushes across the mats and eventually drives Chase’s lower back into the barricade.

Meanwhile, Lukas has pulled down on the legs of the discombobulated Knight, flipping her up and onto his shoulders before rushing across the ring into a sit-out powerbomb. Lukas leans with his shoulders wedged to the creases of Yvonne’s knees, victory within the grasp of the Blacklist.

But referee Ingeson informs Montgomery that Knight is NOT the legal participant.

That legal member of Unity is Taylor, who is currently being sent back into the ring by Harrison.

The Champion gets to her knees with Lukas stepping in and taking her head into his hands. He pulls it under his seat and then haves the World Champion into the air onto his shoulders. The fans cringe as Montgomery takes off across the ring, on the verge of delivering the running powerbomb. Just before she can suffer the same fate as her partner, Taylor pushes herself up and over Lukas’ head, landing on her feet right behind the number one contender.

Lukas ricochets off the ropes behind Taylor and spins around into the Quieter. But again Chase avoids calamity, ducking just before the forearm can take her head off. Lukas’ momentum carries him into a full spin just as Chase leaps into the air and catches him around the neck, going for the jumping reverse bulldog.

The fans get excited, only to have the emotional roller go into a dig. Taylor drops to her back with Lukas countering, catching the creases of her knees and pushing her down to the ring. He then puts the legs under his armpits and drops back, catapulting the World Champion right into that devastating shuffle side kick from Harrison.

Dollar: Lethal kick unleashed by Harrison!

The stiff and swift shot has Taylor’s brains scrambled and sends her falling back into a roll up. Montgomery pulls her over into the school boy, throwing all of his weight across the thighs of the World Champion, on the brink of besting the woman who has repeated disrespected the Blacklist.

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The harrowing screams of the crowd were unnecessary, as Chase gets a shoulder up just before the third and final slap of the canvas.

Susie: Momentum derailed!

Dollar: Another nearfall there by the Blacklist, getting closer and closer to a potential win here against Unity.

Susie: These girls are just too darn resilient though, and they probably look real cute with shimmery tiaras.

Dollar: What does that have to do with anything?

Susie: I don’t know, I just really want a sparkling tiara.

Lukas opts wisely to tag in the fresher man, rolling across the ring and slapping the outstretched hand of Harrison.

The Blacklist member slides into the ring just as Montgomery drags Tay-Tay up to her feet, hooking her leg ad her far shoulder. Just then Harrison rushes across the ring hitting a running STO while Lukas snaps back into the Russian Leg sweep. The tag team move connects and puts Chase down with devastating force.

Lukas then stands up, steps over Chase and finds himself placed in a front chancery. Montgomery heaves him up and drops him down via the reverse suplex right across the World Champion’s ribs. He then rolls out of the way just as Harrison goes airborne, catching tremendous height behind a big knee drop across Chase’s face.

The arbitrary lateral press is employed hooking both of Chase’s legs.

Dollar: You were right about Unity being resilient, but just how much can these women withstand?

Susie: Yeah, Tay-Tay’s taken a beating right now.

Harrison pulls Taylor up from the canvas and applies a rear chin lock….putting a lot of pressure behind the submission. All the oxygen is deprived to the head of the Champion, who fights to pull the arm away from her carotid artery.

Mika has the I-Phone back in her clutches, leaning against the apron and with a full extension of her arm through the ropes she manages to record the images of Chase’s suffrage. The scenes playing out on her phone brings a big grin to Mika’s face, truly delighting in the suffrage of her ‘sister.’

The pleasure eradiated from Kozlov causes Harrison to intensify his actions, squeezing with even more malicious intent on the neck until Chase’s head fees on the verge of being torn asunder from her shoulders.

The hold is intensified as is the crowd’s reaction, everyone rallying in support behind the Word Champion…..Their ovation is motivating Chase, prompting her to begin fighting…fighting her way through the odds…..through insurmountable obstacles. She puts her knees beneath her but finds her fight fading when Harrison’s squeeze brings her back to her seat.

The blood has rushed to Chase’s face, and her skin begins to turn blue as she is quite literally choked by the malicious Harrison, who will do anything to please Mika, especially at the extent of the World Champion.

But she does not hold the company’s most prestigious title just because it’s great for doing squats. All those squats prove useful for the Champ, who summons all of her energy reserve to begin forcing herself up from the canvas. The crowd compels her to get up, to struggle against these odds, which is precisely what she’s doing. Ivy’s pleas give her just that last bit of energy she needs to summon her strength.

To her feet she ascends in spite of being held in the choke, and to even greater surprise, Chase begins to step towards her corner, where Ivy is waiting anxiously for the tag. Not only is she pulling along the weight of her damaged body, but Harrison behind her….a Harrison asphyxiating her.

Although her brain lacks oxygen, she realizes how close she is to her partner, feet turning to inches and now centimeters. She reaches out almost dislocating her shoulder once again….but it’ll be worth it if she can bring Yvonne back into the match.

Their finger tips are so close…millimeters removed from one another. Harrison sees the close proximity of their fingers, enticing him to spin Chase around, take her wrist and yank her forward into the short arm clothesline. But Chase ducks at the last second and steps around behind Harrison. She then turns herself about as leaps towards Knight for the tag only to have Harrison catch her on top of his shoulder.

She leans completely over Harrison’s shoulder, her hand falling just short of Yvonne’s.

The tag falls just short once again…and now Unity’s hands grow further and further apart as Harrison drags Yvonne to the center of the ring loaded upon his shoulder. That’s when Chase slips down Aaron’s arm, catches him around the neck and snaps back into the downward spiral variant. Harrison’s face slams into the canvas and he flops over to his back while Chase just lies on the canvas, taking shallow breaths.

Dollar: Brilliant counter by Chase, but now she has GOT to go for the tag.

Susie: She don’t GOT to do nothing….but bring me a sparkly tiara.

Taylor crawls one way and Harrison crawls the other, both individuals getting closer and closer to their respective teammates. But Mika’s screams alert Harrison to the fact that Chase is on the verge of bringing Knight into the match…a gamble they can ill afford.

Instead of going for the tag to Lukas, Harrison approaches Taylor, descending upon her and preventing her from making the tag. He reaches down to grab her leg when Chase leaps forward and slaps Yvonne’s palm, eliciting a wave of excitement from the once sullen masses. Yvonne dives through the ropes and then through the arms of Harrison, Yvonne slides right past him and charges at Lukas, catching him off guard with a big diving forearm.

The shot knocks him out of his corner and sends him twisting to the mats. Meanwhile Knight springs to the middle cable and then off, twisting just as Harrison comes charging under her. She catches him around the waist, pulling him down into a sunset flip that has the crowd screaming

But instead of going for the pin, Yvonne stands up and steps through Harrison’s legs. She finally manages to turn him over into the Knight Lock.

Dollar: Knight is in there and she’s got Harrison trapped in the sharpshooter! Can she be the first person to make Aaron submit?

Knight leans back and puts a great deal of strain on Harrison’s lower back…but is it enough strain to force the submission? The answer….no….thanks largely to the fact that Yvonne has to break the hold to catch the inbound Montgomery by the creases of his knees, He trips over to his back with Knight stepping through his legs, twisting him over and putting him into the Knight Lock

Now its Montgomery who is roaring in pure anguish, his palm extending out over the canvas. Though it wouldn’t matter if Lukas taps or not, he still resists the urge to give into this punishment. Harrison capitalizes on Knight’s distraction, swooping in and grabbing her arms, hoisting her up into the double underhook piledriver.

Just as Knight threatens to be dumped on her skull, intervention comes in the form of a Tay-Tay superkick right to the back of Harrison’s head. Yvonne then twists her body out of the piledriver predicament and as she descends to the canvas she connects with a stunner.

Harrison’s head bounces back and his body follows suit, yet somehow it remains upright, teetering back and forth like a building on the verge of collapse. Taylor then rushes in behind him, grabs his shoulder and spins him around into a superkick right to the jaw.

The stiff shot has Harrison reeling but STILL upright, as he twists into a superkick to the jaw from Knight. This kick is just as crisp and just as brutal as the last blow, yet Aaron still remains upright. He can only keep his feet beneath him long enough to withstand a stereo superkick that finally fells the Blacklist member.

Harrison at last collapses to the canvas, jaw almost fractured and brain bouncing off the walls of his skull.

<PDollar: Finally Harrison is down…but it took a lot to put him there.

Susie: And unless Unity has access to a tank, it’s going to take a lot more to keep him down.

The stereo superkicks have taken Harrison out, but Lukas is still dangerous, even on his own and with his back against a wall…or more accurately a turnbuckle. Knight comes rushing straight at him only to have Lukas catch her with a European Uppercut as he steps out of the corner. Yvonne staggers back into her partner’s chest. Taylor catching her and holding her up just long enough for Lukas to step out of the corner and deliver a stereo superkick of his own. His one boot connects with the faces of BOTH ladies.

Dollar: Devastating thrust kick unleashed by Montgomery that thwarts the ambitions of both of his opponents.

Susie: Seriously? Where’s that tank at already?

Nails the world over are being gnawed upon as the Blacklist seems to be close in on a very….very hard fought win. Lukas steps towards Knight, snatches her up and then throws her through the ropes before following her out, ensuring that she is a non-factor in the pending proceedings. And what are those proceedings one might ask themselves…a message being sent to the World Heavyweight Champion….one about to be delivered by Harrison.

Aaron employs the ropes to reach his feet even though his legs feel like their reduced to corn syrup. He moves across wobbly knees towards the crawling Chase, delivering a swift forearm over her tattooed back. He then reaches down and grabs her under the jaw, methodically dragging her up to her feet. But then Chase spins around and delivers a big forearm to Harrison’s face.

But….yep…another but…Harrison side steps the inbound arm, catches the crease of Tay-Tay’s elbow, and pushes back, sending Chase into a full spin. When she turns back to Harrison, he steps in with the shuffle side kick. Tay-Tay catches the inbound boot right before it can decapitate her cranium. She then pushes down on it, forcing Aarons to spin completely around at the same time that Chase is making her own rotation. They turn to face each other just as Harrison delivers a back handed slap across Tay’s cheek. Taylor doubles over grabbing at her cheek and checking to make sure her lip hasn’t been busted.

On the outside of the ring Montgomery has managed to hip toss Ivy over spine first across the mats, leaving her spent. He then slides into the ring and rushes in behind Harrison to help out his partner. At the same time Taylor is swatting aside Harrison’s hands, pushing him back and then lunging directly at him with the TKO.

Aaron ducks and causes the knee to nail Lukas right in the jaw, the TKO knocking out the number one contender. Chase lands on her feet and looks down at her spent opponent with only a degree of satisfaction. That satisfaction turns to grief when Harrison swoops in from behind, takes her around the waist and delivers a back drop driver dumping Chase on the top of her head.

Chase flips over to her seat, groggy eyed and slack jawed.

Harrison truly relishes punishing Taylor without restraint….but his glee quickly turns to dismay when Yvonne flies off the nearest turnbuckle and nails him to the chest with the missile dropkick.

Dollar: And this match going right back to the opening sequence..

Susie: So we’ve pulled a 980?

Dollar: 980?

Susie: Yeah, where you spin around so much you throw up.

Dollar: Is that something you do often?

Susie: Only after I’ve run out of Wine Coolers to get drunk.

Dollar: I see.

All four athletes may be down, but every fan is on its feet, trying to get Unity to emulate their full spinal erection…..stop giggling…..Mika on the other hand is making a valiant effort to support her men, slapping the canvas and trying to motivate them.

And Shaun….he does something else to influence the outcome of this match. He hobbles to ringside and shouts out for the recovering Chase, who is just a few inches removed from her future brother-in-law.

Shaun: Quick…use this.

While Ingelson is busy checking on the condition of Yvonne, who landed awkwardly on the back of her head after delivering the dropkick…..Shaun employs this distraction to his benefit….sliding one of his crutches under the ropes and into the ring. But too much force is put behind the crutch, causing it slide right past Taylor and end up in the clutches of Harrison.

Susie: Uh-oh spaghetti-o! Shaun overshot Taylor and Harrison intercepted.

Dollar: Intercepted? That crutch was thrown right to Harrison….this wasn’t an accident at all.

Susie: Wait….are you implying that Shaun intentionally threw the crutch to Harrison?

Dollar: I’m not implying jack-shit.

Susie: I certainly hope not, because I have no idea who this Jack is, and why you would be talking about his poop.

The crutch finds its way up into the hands of Harrison, who will have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in using the weapon against a downtrodden Chase.

Tay has no idea the fate that awaits her, even when she sees Shaun ‘feigning’ dismay. He covers his eyes…..though he can still see through a crack in his fingers…pretending not to watch as Harrison prepares to demolish Chase with the crutch. He only hesitates for a moment to glance towards Mika, who with a smile, pronounces her ‘sister’s’ sentence.

Mika: Do it, Cowboy….do it.

The crutch raises above Harrison’s head with the crowd exploding….with glee…rather than grief….Why, not because the fans are masochists….it’s because the crowd is delighted by the influence of another Cruze…..Orlando. He leaps to the apron on side of the ring opposite to Shaun, and instead of throwing a weapon into the match, he removes it, grabbing the crutch right out of Harrison’s hands.

Aaron whips around with intense eyes settled on the President dropping from the apron with the crutch in his clutches.

Dollar: Orlando grabbing the crutch and ripping it away from Harrison before he could use it on Taylor!

Susie: Both of the Cruze siblings influencing the course of this match.

Dollar: Orlando was beaten half to death with a weapon in Harrison’s hands, he’s not about to see Tay-Tay suffer the same fate.

Susie: He’s doing exactly what Gary called for earlier tonight, stepping up to protect his fiancée.

Orlando points the crutch right back at Harrison’s vengeful eyes….Aaron spewing vile rhetoric towards the Icon. His vendetta might be with Cruze, but Taylor is the perfect tool to be used to vicariously victimize the President. Harrison spins around to make an example of Orlando’s love only to find HIMSELF victimized by the TKO. Taylor lunges into the knee strike right to Aaron’s jaw.

Dollar: TKO on the DOT!

The deadly knee strike has jumbled Harrison’s brain and has sent him twisting into a boot to the ribs delivered by Yvonne, then a prompt hooking of his leg. She manages to snap back into the Jinx Effect complete with a bridge.

Dollar And Harrison staggers right into the Jinx Effect!

Susie: Can the indestructible Harrison stay alive even after all of that?

Dollar: There’s no way….the Blacklist has this….they have it sowed up.

Yes….there seems to be no avenue of escape for Harrison this time, the Blacklist is about to be put to dirt by Unity as Ingelson slides into position and makes a definitive count.

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And the third slap of the canvas does not occur when Montgomery manages to take Shaun’s other crutch away from him and slide back into the ring where he drives the weapon down into Yvonne’s ribcage. This action gives Ingelson no other alternative but to call for the bell.

Dollar: Ahhhhh….seriously?

Susie: Blacklist just got themselves disqualified.

Dollar: As if victory mattered to them. We’re seeing what matters to the Blacklist right now….hurting people.

Susie: Namely Unity.

The shot from crutch to ribs causes Knight to grimace in pain and curl her mid-section. Lukas then turns and drives the end of the crutch directly into the mid-section of the World Champion. Taylor doubles over clutching at her mid-section and grimacing in pain. That’s when Harrison displays his remarkable recuperative abilities by swooping in, hooking both of Chase’s arms and preparing to dump her straight on her skull. That doesn’t happen thanks to the interference of Orlando Cruze….who rolls into the ring with his own weapon in hand.

Dollar: And here comes Cruze!

Susie: Get ‘em, Cruzey, get ‘em!

Harrison looks up just as the crutch comes swinging towards his skull. His eyes close and his lips twist into a smile as he prepares to suffer a concussing blow. The crutch connects, with another crutch, Montgomery swinging the one he stole from Shaun into the path of the one being swung by the Icon. This prevents Harrison from taking the blow. It’s just then that Shaun reaches under the ropes and grabs Harrison’s ankle, dropping him and dragging him out of the ring…..or to be more accurate…..out of harm’s way.

Dollar: Damn….damn….damn….Lukas preventing Harrison from having his head caved in by that crutch.

Susie: Is the mighty Orlando ever going to have his revenge?

Dollar: Not with the Blacklist constantly watching one another’s backs.

Lukas now uses his crutch for more than just a shield, turning it into a potent weapon bent on Orlando’s destruction. Cruze ducks the swinging weapon though and causes Lukas to go staggering past him towards the steel knee braced of Chase swinging towards his face. Montgomery drops the crutch and drops to the canvas in the nick of time to avoid taking a third TKO. He then scrambles from the ring, sliding right past Mika on the apron.

Kozlov is shouting at Orlando and Taylor in the ring as the two preoccupy themselves aiding Ivy to her feet.

Mika: You think this is over, Malishka? Just you wait until Lukas gets you in that cage. Then you will learn….yes, you will learn…..just how much you’ve needed my protection all of these years.

Kozlov then drops from the apron the moment Taylor takes a step towards her. Chase only stops when she realizes she almost dropped Yvonne, stepping back in to serve as her metaphorical crutch.

But nothing is going to stop Orlando….hell-bent on delivering a message, even if it means leaving Chase to bear much of Knight’s weight. He reaches through the ropes and insists upon the use of a microphone, one promptly delivered to his palm by the Icon.

Orlando: That’s enough! That’s ENOUGH of THIS!

The Blacklist has regrouped at ringside just in time to hear Orlando’s rapacious barks.

Orlando: This chaos is about to end….because everywhere I look I see members of this roster at one another’s throats. This isn’t fostering an environment of friendly competition…it’s creating a warzone….and I’m about to do something about it.

Dollar: It’s about time Orlando stood up and did something about this anarchy.

Orlando: SHAUN!

The once heroic Cruze, who has quickly fallen from grace, turns to acknowledge Orlando as he hobbles up the ramp.

Orlando: You’ve stirred the pot around here for too long already, and I’m sick of it. I know you’re having a rough time of things right now with what happened to our Dad, but your behavior can’t be excused. You want to try and hurt me, to manipulate me? FINE! I’ll give you the chance. No more hiding behind fake injuries and ‘accidental’ superkicks….it’s going to be YOU, and it’s going to be ME, one on one at New Age.

Fan pop.

Susie: The Bald One versus the Bad One….

Dollar: Major announcement right there, Cruze versus Cruze on the first edition of our retooled New Age.

The crowd barely can catch their breath before Orlando gives them more cause to asphyxiate themselves.

Orlando: And since this whole roster is out to kill each other…I’m going to give you all the chance to work this out of your systems at Last Stand…..because the rumble to crown a new number one contender WILL take place….and the last person standing will go on to Invictus to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship…..

Dollar: Another majo…..

Orlando: But for the first time ever….this Rumble match will be no holds barred…..all weapons will be legal…..and I’m not only encouraging….but I’m ordering every member of the roster to bring a weapon of their choosing into that match.

Susie: Ewww…the rumble is gonna be all violent and junk. I hope Silence brings that soggy My Pet Monster and uses it as a weapon.

Dollar: Orlando turning up the intensity….we’re not just getting a rumble match at Last Stand, but with all the animosity between so many members of our roster, he’s allowing EVERYONE to bring a weapon of their choice into the match.

The Icon continues in spite of having to speak over the insane ramblings of the fans and the Blacklist alike.

Orlando: From chaos there will come order…..

Harrison: Chaos?

Aaron has somehow manages to get hold of a microphone before rejoining Mika and Lukas at ringside.

Harrison: You yearn for chaos? Far be it for the Blacklist not to respond. You can consider Mika and I to be the first two entrants into that Rumble match…..and our weapons of choice…..well…..I don’t think you need to use your imagination for this one, Orlando.

Cruze bites his lower lip until blood almost seeps from beneath his teeth, realizing that Harrison is referring to the weapon that has been put to such nefarious use these past few months…..the dreaded Singapore Cane.

Harrison: And Mika and I will take great pleasure in using the cane to cost so many their dream of fighting for the World Championship and main eventing Invcitus.

The microphone is taken from Orlando and held to Ivy’s lips.

Ivy: Not happening Harrison. Unity isn’t about let you ruin this match and ruin the ambitions of so many aspiring talents….So Kathryn and I…Unity will be entering this rumble as well….but our weapons won’t be kindo-sticks….they’ll be our firsts.

STATIC

Ba’al: Unity….Blacklist….Coalition….oh my….

The Cartel-tron twists to life with images of Ba’al, Rachel Foxx and Jaina Frost. The cruel cabal presides over these happenings with maniacal gleams in their eyes/

Ba’al: This may sound rather odd to you, Mr. Cruze, but I am quite indebted to the Icon. The Coalition owes you some gratitude.

Though the houselights have been dimmed, Orlando’s confused expression shines like a diamond in the dark.

Rachel: Roughly translated…thanks a ton, Orlando.

Ba’al: Tonight we weighed evidence and we heard testimony….

Jaina: Which ultimately brought us to a verdict.

Ba’al: We have found the IWC…..guilty!

Many eyes bat, and several lumps form in throats.

Ba’al: Sin permeates every aspect of the IWC, from the head office to the roster to even the concession stands. From the presidency to the lowliest of position, this company has been corrupted. So no longer can the IWC be dealt with by a tempered hand, for it must now feel the long arm of the law. Justice shall be dispensed.

Rachel: So thanks for booking a match that embodies the greed that corrupts and warps the perceptions of this entire roster.

Ba’al Your imbecilic announcement that looks to feed the avarice of the oh so ambitious roster, gives the Coalition a chance to line up all the guilty parties for one direct, swift, unanimous execution. Therefore, if Unity and Blacklist have opted to participate….then so to shall the Coalition.

Brows are swiped and collars are dragged away from throats

Ba’al: And our influence on this ‘Rumble’ will be one that time shall not soon forget. For the first stage in our execution begins tonight, and will only be a prelude of coming events.

Everything transforms to pure shadows and once the lights raise, it is no longer the World Championship hanging from Taylor’s palm, it is a serpent dangling from her palm….a serpent that is quickly dropped to the canvas. This ultimate embodiment of temptation finds its way slithering across Knight’s shoes. Yvonne picks up and holds its head in her hands, staring into the black orbs of the dangerous and symbolic creature.

Dollar: The Blacklist….Unity….and now the Coalition all entered into the first ever Weapons Are Legal Rumble match at Last Stand. What a loaded…and chaotic bout this promises to be

Susie: Should we volunteer to enter the match too?

Dollar: I think not….Going through one table is enough for me.

Yvonne continues to eyeball the snake when

STATIC

Mr. Gaunt: Hmmmm…everyone seems to be discussing the Coalition’s verdict, and how it shall impact this cluster of all clusters..

Leeland Gaunt now assumes the role of grand spectator, seated in the shadowy depths of his sanctum, joined only by Silence, Mr. Hush, and Al Todd-Meriwether. The four stare with unflinching features upon the ring and all that surround it.

Mr. Gaunt: I’m afraid the Coalition’s participation in that match shall be negated now that the Black Crusade have opted to enter. Our hands are no longer tied and now move towards seeing the elimination of the Blacklist and the Coalition from this rumble.

STATIC

When lights find their potency, we can at last see that while one object has been removed, another has been returned. The World Title once again hangs from Taylor’s palm, but the serpent has been reduced to a giant pile of maggots in Yvonne’s. She jumps back aghast as the maggots writhe at her feet.

Dollar: So the Black Crusade is involved too….good grief.

Susie: This just keeps getting bigger and bigger than Orlando’s forehead.

Orlando turns towards Taylor.

Orlando: I believe we just raised the game big time….

Lohan: I know you didn’t think this was over.

The crowd really needs a shot of adrenaline to the heart to keep themselves going as another group makes their way to the stage. Typhoid Mary is followed closely by Brittany Lohan and Cassidy Haze.

Lohan: Because what better way to protect my friend Taylor Chase, then by making sure Dark Legacy eliminates all of her potential challengers….which is exactly what we shall do at Last Stand.

Cassidy is still huffing and puffing and aching in the mid-section, but she chimes in as well, leaning over and grabbing the microphone from Lohan.

Cassidy: Bosslady is right. We’re going to win the Rumble, all for you, Tay-Tay.

A switchblade is removed from her corset and extended at the same time that Lohan raises a crowbar from behind her back. The two weapons are crossed for symbolic purposes.

Dollar: Now Dark Legacy too? My God this match is going to be a battlefield.

Susie: And we already see what weapons they’ll be bringing with them into that match

Dollar: What’s going to happen when all of these groups go at it in the Rumble?

Susie: And with weapons to boot. Hey maybe even a boot will be a weapon.

The Blacklist, Unity, and Dark Legacy stare one another down while maggots writhe across canvas and Orlando beams a piercing glare in Shaun’s direction. Tensions at their zenith headed into Last Stand.

The expression on Jackson Adams’ face couldn’t be anymore full of pomp if he had just won the state lottery while banging the entire cast of Keeping Up With the Kardasians. He walks on clouds…no, he’s soaring ABOVE the clouds….feeling rather heavenly.

But one of the individuals….several of hundreds that he’s wronged….looks to drag him to the depths of hell. A forearm wedges against Jackson’s throat and is utilized to drive him spine first into the wall of the corridor he was traipsing through.

Brandy: Enjoy every breath you take, Adams, savor them.

There is no wrath like the vengeance of a woman scorned, Brandy embodying this cliché.

Jackson: Bra..Brandy.

He finds it difficult to speak…which happens when your larynx is being crushed under a forearm.

Brandy: So we were nothing to you but a means to an end, huh?

Jackson: No….Brandy….YOU are far more.

Her fury is replaced with perplexity, hence why the exertion she places on his throat weakens.

Jackson: Rain….Priest….they were just pawns in my game, Lovely. But you….you’re more to me than just another gullible….weak…undeserving newbie.

The pressure placed on the throat weakens.

Jackson: Unlike Rain, unlike Priest, I think you DESERVE to stand at my side. You’re something special.

The exertion is intensified as the flames rekindle in Brandy’s eyes.

Brandy: And why should I care what I mean to you?

In spite of having his throat collapsed, Adams chokes go rosey red and he grins.

Jackson: Because you saw how well I played Rain and Prieat….no easy feat right? Given the fact that the two are master manipulators themselves.

Brandy: Erm….yeah.

Jackson: So then…..imagine what I can do for YOUR career here in the IWC if I were to set my mind to it.

The friction applied to the larynx is no more, Brandy lowering her arms and entering consultation.

EMTS are assisting Gunner Bryant and Layla Storm. Even though Gary is seeing spots and Layla is coughing up a lung, they are dragged along to their feet. Their knees are weak and their backs have no strength but the EMTS compensate for their injuries, providing support by way of being human crutches.

EMT: Don’t worry, you two are going to be just fine. Just try to walk it off.

Gunner and Layla delude themselves into believing the EMTS, into thinking that the medics are actually there to help them…..but in actuality the only thing the EMTS do is prop the pair up so they can be subjected to a shot from a railroad spike. Said spike nails Gunner right between the eyes, bursting his face like a zit. Layla is then given a giant boot under the jaw, sending her cascading into the wall.

It becomes apparent that the two SHOULD have stayed in the developmental league…..where it was at least a little safer and they didn’t serve as sacrificial lambs. First it was TPKid and his explosive anger that dealt some damaging blows…..and now Hurse is getting in on the act…..and getting his hands dirty…..literally.

He now crouches down quite literally dirtying up his hands by sliding them over the blood soaked locks of Gunner. The bangs are taken and his head is elevated from the floor, Bryant’s eyes trying to adjust.

Hurse: Congrats bucko….I just gave you two the night off.

Robin then leans over Hurse, draping arms across his shoulders and leaning the side of her face into his cheek.

Brooks: Tragic when the young are taken before their time.

Hurse: Well…..from chaos stems opportunity.

He slides his finger over Robin’s forearm.

Brooks: The opportunity to bring a new initiate into the fold.

P Clarence Whitman III hasn’t had a night anyone would envy. Never in a million years did he think he’d find comfort in the sanctuary of the locker-room, surrounded by the sweatiest, and the stinkiest of gym socks. But Whitman relishes both the odors and the presence of so many swinging genitals. He prudishly removes his attire while trying to hide behind the door of his locker…nowhere near as comfortable in his skin as so many others seem to be. He takes great pains to keep himself covered while also delicately hanging his wedding tuxedo on a hook within his locker.

Lois: Clarence…..where are you? Am I getting closer?

Whitman takes refuge behind the locker door as he has just dropped his trousers. However, Lois has already taken all the necessary precautions, wearing a blindfold in order to keep from seeing any exposed members within the locker-room….finding a way to be even more prudish than the X-Class Champion.

Whitman: Thank heavens. Over here, Love.

Lois follows the voice and almost trips over a bench in the process. Her hands guide her to the face of her fiancée.

Whitman: You truly are a sight for even the sorest of eyes.

Lois: I wish I could say the same.

Whitman: That is what I find to be one of your most endearing qualities…your willingness to respect boundaries.

A smiling Lois nods even as her finger accidentally finds its way into Whitman’s nostril.

Lois: Sorry to just come walking right into the locker-room like this….but I’ve been trying to meet up with you all night….and I figured this was the only place to find you.

Whitman: Think nothing of it….you’re presence provides much solace.

Lois: It sounds like you’ve had a pretty bad night.

Whitman: It’s been all together awful.

The X-Class Champion slowly wraps his hand around his eyes, rubbing them in a feeble attempt to soothe. Said eyes spring open and he finds it possible to acknowledge the brighter side of things….even on the darkest…cloudiest…stormiest of days.

Whitman: However, I did manage to procure a glorious tuxedo for our upcoming nuptials.

Lois: GREAT! And that’s actually what brings me here.

Whitman: Oh?

Lois: I was talking to Simon.

Whitman: SIMON?

His voice is more than a bit gruff.

Lois: Yeeeeeaaaaah…..

It takes more than a little strength to compel Whitman’s silence on this subject. Though he wants to veto any interaction between Cagero and Lois…..he knows in doing so it would ultimately incriminate himself.

Lois: He’s been surprisingly helpful in the wedding preparations. He even came up with the perfect date for our wedding.

Whitman: Oh dear.

Lois: February 15th. Perfect, right?

Whitman: February 15th?

The back of Clarence’s head is scratched, trying to figure out why that particular date sounds so familiar.

Whitman: Why is it that February 15th is so……

Lois: It’s GREAT isn’t it….it’s a weekend, and right around the time when the weather might be getting nicer.

Whitman: I suppose I’m agreeable to that date.

Lois: And Simon even gave me a great choice of venues.

Whitman: Dear, I don’t believe you should be so quick to trust…..

A phone begins to ring, belting out the tone to Simon Cagero’s entrance theme. Whitman is less than thrilled to hear this music emanating from his fiancee’s phone….and takes even less satisfaction in hearing Lois consorting with the former number one contender.

Lois: Hey Simon…..Yeah, I just told him about the date and he loves it. Are you still cleaning Taylor’s locker-room?

As the conversation continues, Lois turns away and stumbles to the exit, guiding herself around with her free hand.

Lois: Yeah, we’ll meet up later….

Whitman wonders how this night could possibly go any worse….At the very least he still has the most splendid of tuxedos.

DANNY DARKO VS. LAYLA STORM & GUNNER BRYANT

The opening chords of Foo Fighters’ “All My Life” begin playing throughout the arena while at the same time every light shuts off.

All my life I’ve been searching for something
Something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies but I’m getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around then it’s taken away
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
The feeling comes to life when I see your ghost

After that last verse, the next round of heavy guitars, bass and drums begin ringing out throughout the arena at full force while right red flames shoot off from each side of the stage and Darko slowly saunters down to the ring with a sinister look on his face. Once he steps into the ring he walks to the middle of the ring and stands there for a few seconds before bright red flames shoot out from each of the ringposts. Once the flames are finished, he climbs each corner of the ring and raises his right fist in the air and yells out to crowd to pump them up.

Dollar: So many new additions making their debuts here tonight….we’ve seen Marie Jones….Total War…and Andre Jordan all making their statements this evening…..now it’s come time for Danny Darko to do something memorable.

Susie: I’m sure I’ll remember it for ages

Dollar: Susie….you can’t even remember what you had for lunch today.

Susie: Untrue….I had an entire skittle. And I didn’t even force myself to regurgitate it later.

Although his match is currently up in the air, given the conditions of his opponents, Darko continues to stretch with the aid of the ropes and get himself prepared for competition. All eyes now fix on the entry way, anticipating the arrival of Darko’s competition….to which, there is none.

Dollar: Looks like the opportunity to make an impression is out of Darko’s hands. Gunner Bryant and Layla Storm not only taken out once….but TWICE….backstage.

Susie: Well tell them to pull up their britches…suck it up…..and get their bums out here right now.

Dollar: Taking shots from a baseball bat AND a railroad spike kind of zaps the fight right out of a person.

Susie: It does?

Dollar: Darko is about to emerge with a victory…albeit via forfeit…which is probably not how he wanted things to shake out.

Susie: Yes, and remember, if you shake it more than twice, that technically counts as masturbation.

Dollar: Thanks for another pearl of wisdom.

Danny sighs when it appears that no one is going to rise to this occasion. He is getting bored, which is not good, hence why he’s requested the use of a microphone.

Dollar: Careful now Danny, that microphone has proven to be just as cursed tonight as the dreaded Secret Santa hat from the End of the Year Special.

Susie: Which is a shame, as I happen to look adorable in a Santa hat.

The microphone finds its way not only into Darko’s hand but straight to his downturned lips.

Darko: So let’s get this straight, I’ve been hitting the gym like a psychopath, I’ve been watching old clips of my matches, and I’ve even been sparing with long-time associates like William Mason, to get myself back into proper ring shape….and THIS is what I get for all that effort?

Dollar: In the IWC, what least can you expect?

Darko bemoans the lack of proper competition after the painstaking efforts he’s endured to get himself back up to his former physical stature.

Darko: With many apologies to the head honchos, I’m afraid that a victory by way of forfeit is just not befitting of all my efforts….I must insist on some proper competition…..So if neither Bryant or…..or…..

Fingers are snapped as he makes an attempt to recall the name of his other opponent.

Darko:….The OTHER ONE….

He finally just gives up.

Darko:….Are ready to compete….by all means, give someone else the opportunity to come out here and rejoice in the opportunity to rub elbows with ‘Devious’ Danny Darko.

Dollar: Looks like we’ve got an open challenge, chums.

Indeed, Darko has drawn the line in the sand and now waits to see if anyone will cross it….and he won’t have to wait very long.

“I shut my eye and all the world drops dead; I lift my eyes and all is born again.”

“Good Man” by Devour the Day blares through the PA system and trumpets the arrival of both Hurse and Robin Brooks. The pair moves to the stage with microphone already planted in Robin’s paw

Dollar: It looks like the interactions between Danny Darko and Hurse will extend beyond mere stare-downs.

Susie: So is he here to answer the challenge, or just continue doing his Jean Pierre LaFitte?

Danny is only interested in competition, though he has to first sit through the delusional dialogue of the Black Widow. As she speaks, Hurse crouches at her side, pivoting from side to side between his feet.

Robin: Daniel Darko…We’re well aware that you have no clue who we are.

A shrug from Darko is all the confirmation he’s about to give.

Robin: However, Steven and I, we know quite a bit about you, and your illustrious history.

Darko nods….agreeing that his history is quite illustrious.

Robin: As we understand it, YOU’RE the man who infamously put Taylor Chase out of action for a very long duration….correct?

Another nod from Darko.

Robin: YOU’RE the man who came so close to ending her career?

At this point Darko risks serious whiplash given all of his nodding.

Robin: Excellent. Then you would make a perfect addition to our consortium.

Though Darko has absolutely no interest in joining the ranks of Brooks and Hurse….he plays along.

Darko: Consortium you say?

Robin: That’s right, a consortium bent on the annihilation of Taylor Chase and Orlando Cruze…..Join us….and we can take them all….take out the entire Chase family…and everyone in their sphere of influence. You can help us return the IWC to the old ways…..the glory years….Where THIS man….

A hand tussles Hurse’s hair.

Robin:…was our World Heavyweight Champion….and Orlando Cruze was not deluded through the influence of that succubus Taylor Chase.

Darko ‘pretends’ to be intrigued by this offer.

Darko: So let me get this straight. You want ME to join the two of YOU, based solely on the fact that I almost ended Taylor Chase’s career. Is that right?

Robin: Indeed. But don’t think it would be merely advantageous of you to join us….for this is a two way street, you would benefit as well from having strength in numbers.

Darko: Listen preggers…

The unborn tot festering in Robin’s womb is referenced.

Darko: I’m WAY ahead of you on that front…..and if I want Taylor Chase…..I don’t need either of you to facilitate getting my hands on her. So you can take your offer and you can….

Robin: Wait…wait….wait….don’t make your decision just yet….

The microphone is audaciously taken out of the hands of Brooks.

Hurse: Sounds to me like he already HAS made his decision, Robin.

Brooks grimaces and TRIES to get Hurse to shut up, but it’s too late, his gums are flapping and nothing is about to stop them.

Hurse: And it’s by far the worse decision he’s ever made.

Hurse’s mouth isn’t the only thing running, so too are his legs, which carry him to the ring. He shows not an inkling of hesitation to step right up into Darko’s face.

Hurse: Listen here, DANIEL, YOU need US, more than WE need YOU.

He doesn’t just violate Darko’s personal space by putting himself in such close proximity to the newcomer, but he goes a step further by shoving him back via a finger poke to the chest.

Hurse: You’ve been sitting on the sidelines for a long time collecting dust, Darko. You’re out of the loop. You don’t know what it takes to get things done in this business anymore. WE do. Look at what we’ve done. My lovely Brooks and I were instrumental in the resurrection of the Independent Wrestling Cartel….we’ve built the pond you’re about to dive into….and without help, you won’t swim, you won’t even float….no….you’ll sink like a stone. Unless you have back-up….and back-up with influence….you will get nowhere fast.

Another sigh from Darko.

Hurse: Don’t delude yourself, DANIEL, Unity…..Dark Legacy….Orlando Cruze…none of them will let you get to Taylor Chase…..But we can help, we can remove all of those obstacles.

Darko: Excuse me, Hurse….is it?

Now it’s Hurse who does all the nodding, even after this RUDE interruption.

Darko: Who says I’m even interested in facing Taylor Chase?

The nodding stops and the stewing begins, Hurse growing increasingly aggravated.

Darko: Sure, maybe down the line I’d like to set my sights on her World Heavyweight Championship….but I’m more the type who likes to live in the here and now… and at the moment the only thing that would gratify me, is having my debut match.

Hurse: Fat chance of that happening, Bud.

The bloody palm of Hurse, smeared with Gunner’s fluid, waves in Darko’s face.

Hurse: Doesn’t look like you’re opponents will be making it to the ring tonight. I took the liberty of removing them so we can have this social soiree.

Darko: Well….that was mighty kind of you….but uhhhh….you’ve made quite a few mistakes.

Hurse is all ears, batting his eyes and arching his eyebrows in anticipation of being corrected.

Hurse: Did I?

Darko: Yep. For starters you thought I’d be interested in joining up with a glorified jobber and a pregnant woman….I’m not….

Hurse’s eyebrows lower into a scowl.

Darko: Second, you thought I would just be content to talk…..I’m not.

The scowl is joined by a frown.

Darko: You’re third mistake….was assuming that by attacking my opponents I’d be okay with taking a cheap win by way of forfeit….Wrong again….

The scowl and frown is coupled with a tensing of Hurse’s entire body.

Darko: And lastly….maybe you’re biggest mistake…..putting your ‘finger’ on me.

Darko doesn’t practice balanced reciprocity….evident as he puts more than a finger on Hurse….no….the former World Champion receives a full boot to the ribs, doubling him over and putting him in grave jeopardy. For Hurse is now in position for Darko to scoop him up, twist him around and deliver a devastating, thunderous, career shortening cradle piledriver.

Dollar: Darko catching Hurse off guard and DRILLING him with the LAST RITES! I believe that’s what he’s dubbed that absolutely brutal piledriver.

Susie: Really? I would have called it something else….like the Melon Masher…Wait….that name just SCREAMS awesome.

Dollar: And it looks like Danny’s call for competition has been answered.

Susie: Even if Hurse doesn’t want to accept the charges.

Hurse sits like a limp noodle on the competition, his head hanging to the side with his jaw to his chest….a chest that becomes saturated with his drool. But Darko hasn’t even gotten started yet, grabbing Hurse by the arm and dragging him along into the Annihilation by Stangulation.

Dollar: Now he’s got a pentagram choke established on Hurse.

Susie: Can I name this move too? I’m gonna call it….the ASCOT!

Dollar: Darko destroying Hurse.

Referee Princeton, who was hanging in the background this whole time, finally steps in and gets into position to gauge rather Hurse taps or not. The ref witnesses the earlier of the two options, because even though Hurse has no free hand to deliver the arbitrary slap, and in spite of the fact that his trachea is being crushed by the submission, he is still able to whisper ‘I QUIT.’

The official turns and gestures for the bell….signifying that this impromptu match is indeed at an end.

Dollar: And Hurse given no recourse but to submit.

Susie: Holy snikies…what a debut for Darko….

Dollar: He dumped Hurse on his head and then forced him to tap out.

Susie: Plus I gave him new names for his finishing moves.

Dollar: Sure you did, Susie, sure you did.

Throughout his career Darko has done himself no favors in terms of gaining fan support, but tonight they whole heartedly endorse his systematic destruction of the one eyed Hurse. The submission is eventually broken and the tattered body of Hurse is permitted to roll from the ring. Eventually he tumbles to the mats, dumped like nothing but a bag of garbage and Darko is sitting on the canvas, swiping his palms clean of filth. Hurse finds himself pulling his body along to the feet of Robin and then desperately dragging himself up with the aid of her shins. His head falls against her lap and Brooks unleashes a groan.

Dollar: Darko made short work of Hurse, and delivered perhaps the most emphatic statement of the night by any new arrival to the IWC.

Susie: By way of the Melon Masher, followed by the ASCOT.

Dollar: It’s not happening, Susie, just give it a rest.

Robin isn’t the only one who groans, Darko moaning in reaction to the favorable response from the Manhattan denizens. His aggravation carries over even into the gate of his step as he departs the ring and moves up the ramp. His statement has been made and the results are a crushed Hurse turning his pregnant lover into a prop to hold his mangled body up.

Dollar: Darko victorious and in shocking fashion as the first Riot of 2014 rolls along.

Orlando Cruze and Taylor Chase wish that they could celebrate their recent engagement…..but there is far too much business to be conducted….and given recent events the pair finds themselves in no mood for elation. Orlando finds himself rather morose even with his sole source of happiness stretched across his lap, World Title miraculously returned to her shoulder. She runs her hands over the back of Orlando’s head as he indulges thoughts as opposed to dialogue.

Tay-Tay: Hate to sound like a broken record and all, but, you doing okay?

Orlando is too lost lamb, forcing Taylor to assume the role of shepherd.

Tay-Tay: Baby?

It takes a kiss on the cheek to finally snap Orlando out of his immersion in thought.

Tay-Tay: Are you with me?

Orlando: No….sorry….just a million miles away.

Though he would love to be in the moment…..in the right here….right now with Taylor Chase, he just can’t keep his thoughts at bay….from putting a divide between himself and the World Champion.

Tay-Tay: I don’t blame you, hasn’t been the best week.

Orlando: Should have been.

Orlando leans his cheek into Taylor’s chest.

Orlando: This should have been the happiest week of our lives. But it seems even God is out to make us miserable.

Tay-Tay: I hate to see you this way. Your usually the one who’s so cautiously optimistic, trying to convince me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Orlando: Now I know how you’ve felt the past few months, Tay. Just so hard to look at the bright side of things when every day is a rainy one.

Tay-Tay: You have every right to be upset, Babe. You lost your father….and with Shaun’s legal issues….

Orlando: Don’t talk to me about Shaun right now, please, I’ll deal with him at New Age….we’ll hammer out our differences.

Tay-Tay: Okay….but mmmmm….you’re not really going to use a hammer are you?

A big shrug from the Icon.

Orlando: If the occasion calls for it.

Tay-Tay: Just hope the two of you can put this issue in the past. I know you want your brother at the wedding.

Orlando: I don’t think he’ll be accepting an invitation, and I won’t be sending one either…..Speaking of family though, do you want me to do something about this Steel Cage match at New Age.

Only a fraction of a second is taken for Chase to think it over.

Tay-Tay: Absolutely not….You need closure with Shaun, I need closure with Mika and the Blacklist….and if it takes fighting Lukas inside of a steel cage to do it then so be it.

Orlando: Fair enough Doll, but….

Tay-Tay: No buts….

Orlando: Its just….well….Gary had a point…..I kind of dragged you into this middle of all this…

Tay-Tay: Yeah right….my issues with Mika go back a long….LOOOONG way.

Orlando: Okay, but still, I’ve done a horrible job of keeping you safe.

Tay-Tay: Snap out of it, Orlando…..I don’t need protection, and besides, you’ve had a plate full these past few weeks….You got your job as President back….We’ve got a wedding to prepare for….And Shaun’s fall from grace hasn’t made things any easier for you.

Orlando: Yeah, plates getting too heavy to hold….don’t think I can pile any more on.

Ummm….Mr. Cruze?

The knock at the door rouses the duo, their eyes jumping to the door. They rise into defensive postures…naturally assuming the worse. And although Marie Jones has proven to be a viable threat, it doesn’t seem she’s here for a fight.

Orlando: Ah, Mrs. Jones, how can we help you?

Marie: Sorry, I know this isn’t your office and probably not the best place to discuss business….

Tay-Tay: Mi casa su casa.

In spite of the cordialness shown by Chase, Marie still feels very uncomfortable….struggling with her words rather her presence in unfamiliar surroundings.

Orlando: Is there a problem?

Marie: I have a message from Frankie Paradise.

That cordialness….nuh-uh….bye-bye.

Tay-Tay: FRANKIE?

Chase is more than ready to kill the messenger, but Orlando holds her back, actually intent on at least hearing the message first.

Tay-Tay: What did that troll have to say?

Orlando: Marie?

It’s clear that Jones is not happy with being coerced into playing messenger…..hence her lowered head and crossed arms.

Marie: He wanted me to start off by saying that he only sent me because he knew if he tried to talk to you face to face it would just result in another incident that would give the Board cause to punish you both.

Orlando: He assumed correctly.

Marie: And then he droned on and on about how he couldn’t risk the wrath of the Board of Directors when he needs their total support in signing this BIG TALENT. Then he lost his train of thought for like fifteen minutes just staring down my blouse….before finally telling me to tell you that he might have made a mistake?

Orlando: A mistake…?

Tay-Tay: As in singular?

Marie: Yep.

Tay-Tay: What mistake?

Marie: He didn’t specify. He only said he wants to talk to you about it, if you’ll promise not to attack him again.

Orlando: Hmmm….

Back in thought.

Orlando: Well then, you can do me a favor now and give him my response.

Marie: Ugh….why me?

Orlando: Tell him that he can kiss the flabbiest section of my ass.

Marie: Ooookay….do you want me to sugar-coat that?

Orlando: No, you can use those exact words.

Marie: Fine….can I leave now?

Thankfully, there’s no more to the message, it’s short, simple, and easy for Marie to deliver without anything being lost in translation. She’s out in a dash, and now Cruze and Chase can get back to their conversation.

Orlando: So….about that Steel Cage…..

Simon: So I finished scrubbing your toilet….Tay-Tay.

The nearby bathroom door flies open and Simon steps out, all the while fixing his red speedos and black vest.

Orlando: Here’s your tooth-brush.

Though extended towards Chase, it does not end up anywhere near her palm.

Tay-Tay: Keep it.

Simon: How thoughtful.

The brush is tossed over his shoulder and Cagero swipes palms against one another, cleansing his hands.

Simon: So what next degrading act do you have in store for me?

Taylor has to think about this one for a second, in no particular rush.

Tay-Tay: How about….

A giant smile forms on her face.

Tay-Tay: You eat this entire jar of wasabi.

The ever so spicy jar is removed from her bag….purchased for this occasion and this occasion alone.

Simon: Seriously? You have me as your slave the whole night and all you want me to do is clean your room and eat spicy foods? Have you not seen my speedo?

Tay-Tay: Sorry if you feel neglected, Simon….I’ve had a busy night.

Simon: Just give me the fucking jar.

This item is taken into Simon’s palm from the extended arm of Chase. The lid is twisted off and the contents are instantly dumped right down into Cagero’s mouth….entirely….all at once….every speck of it. He even puts his tongue in the jar and begins to lick up any remnants.

Simon: Hmmmm….delicious.

The jar is tossed over the same shoulder the brush was sent sailing over. A mystified Chase doesn’t care where the jar lands, she just watches Simon with eyes wider than dinner plates.

Tay-Tay: How in the?

Simon: My tongue has been in hotter places than a jar of wasabi, Tay.

Chase doesn’t indulge this statement for further clarity.

Tay-Tay: Okay, that’s a disgusting thought.

Simon: What next? You two gonna find another way to screw with me, just like you did my number one contendership?

Orlando: Simon…

Cruze was going to let Tay-Tay have her fun, but he can’t bite his tongue any longer

Orlando: WE had nothing to do with you being stripped of your number one contendership. That was all your fault because you couldn’t stop running your mouth.

Simon: Moi?

Tay-Tay: And even though you’re the most obnoxious ass I’ve ever met in my entire life…if I still had my choice in the matter, I’d defend the World Title against you.

Simon: Then make it happen.

Orlando: I’m afraid our hands are tied, Simon. I can’t overturn Frankie’s decision, and I really don’t want to.

Simon: So it’s back to Orlando being a douche, huh?

Orlando: I have way too much to worry about other than your title shot.

Clearly Cagero is getting upset…or maybe the wasabi is starting to hit his stomach.

Simon: Then you two can make it up to me in another way.

Orlando: We don’t owe you anything, Simon.

Simon: Just hear me out….

Though neither Chase nor Cruze want to hear a string of expletives from Cagero, they brace themselves and lend the obnoxious former champion their ears.

Simon: Since I’M not able to compete for the championship….how about you let me name someone else to challenge for the title in my place? It’s the perfect way to circumvent this edict from Frankie, right?

Taylor’s response, a shrug….

Tay-Tay: What’s the worse than can happen? I face Bob for the title?

Orlando’s response…an awkward blinking of his eyes as he processes all of this information.

Orlando: I’ll tell you what, Simon, I can compromise. But I’m not about to give Bob a World Heavyweight Title shot when HE hasn’t earned it. So instead, I’ll let you handpick your replacement to compete in the Rumble at Last Stand, and I’ll even have them come out at the half-way point of that match.

Simon’s response…an awkward silence.

Simon: Fine….I guess I can agree to that.

Tay-Tay: Good…now that we’ve got that resolved, I’m tired of playing around with you tonight, Simon…isn’t anywhere near as fun as I thought it be. So you can leave.

Simon: Alright….

Cagero slowly moves towards the exit but for some odd reason…..known only to Cagero….he hesitates to leave. A finger slowly rises, not to flip off the Champion and the President though, instead it inches towards a light-switch.

Simon: But guys….

Taylor and Orlando have renewed interest in Cagero’s comments.

Simon: Who said anything about Bob?

The switch on the wall is thrown and instantly the glow in the dark stars on the walls light up, and candles burst into flames. This creates a truly romantic ambiance for the Scarlet Socialite and the Icon. The moment Cagero vacates the room, Orlando and Taylor are free to make use of these lavish decorations.

Tay-Tay: Babe….when did you….when did you have Simon set this all up?

Orlando: To be totally honest, I didn/t.

Tay-Tay: Oh.

She looks more than a little disappointed, lowering eyes away from Cruze who takes this as a cue to turn the lights back on.

Tay-Tay: No.

His wrist is grabbed before he can get any further.

Tay-Tay: Might as well as salvage some enjoyment out of this night.

Orlando: Uh-huh? What did you have in mind?

Tay-Tay I’ll give you one guess.

It’s no longer her wrist in her clutches, but his tie, now used to drag his lips towards her. The romantic vibe created by Cagero is too much to pass up….and they take full advantage of it by locking up lips. They continue to kiss but soon Orlando’s lips move down to her neck, kissing at her clavicle.

Tay-Tay: Okay….alright…oh my….

They swing off frame, allowing the camera to pick up the present of a bundle of roses in the corner of the room. This camera zooms in closer and closer on the roses, revealing a small microphone connected to a tape recording device.

Once again we see the door leading to the Unity’s lockeroom….but instead of catching an argument between potential suitors for Kathryn Pearson….we see the lovely Yvonne Knight. Now that her hands are free of serpents and maggots, she can use them to knock at the door. Within seconds said door is ajar and Pearson is standing there dressed to compete.

Ivy: It’s time hon.

Kathryn hops in place, getting herself mentally revved up.

Ivy: Glad you stayed back here during our tag match…hope it gave you enough time to get yourself centered.

Kathryn: Yeah…yeah.

Her second yeah is nowhere near as enthusiastic as the first.

Ivy: You’re nervous aren’t you?

Kathryn: I’d have to be crazy not to be….It’s part of the reason I wanted to go to the ring with you guys earlier tonight, it helped take my mind off things.

Ivy: That’s a problem. You’re mind NEEDS to be on this match.

Kathryn: I’m just afraid I’m overthinking this one. I’ve been obsessing about it all day. I just can’t go into this one the same way I have every other match. I’m getting myself psyched out.

Ivy: Take a breathe….

The hand on her shoulder is met to soothe, before Knight uses her other hand to show how to breath from the diaphragm.

Ivy: I’m not going to lie to you hon, this match is HUGE….way bigger than any of your previous ones….and you worked so hard to get this title shot.

Kathryn: Is this supposed to be helping me?

Ivy: It’s because you worked so hard for this….it’s because you went through so much….that you are going to win the X-Class Championship tonight. You’re not going to let this opportunity slip through your fingers…..

Kathryn: But….

Ivy: No….none of that. Remove all doubt and hang onto certainty. You will win, Kathryn….You WILL feel the honor of holding your first championship. Now go out there and see it done. Continue to prove that this truly your place in the world.

The speech seems to be doing the trick, firing Kathryn up, motivating her, inspiring her….filling her with that last bit of courage. She sucks it up, sticks out her chest….to the delight of thousands….and marches through the door and down the hall. A proud Yvonne watches her protégé step forth to challenge for the X-Class Championship….a title bout quite some time in the making….one she fought so many months to earn. Ivy steps into the dressing room, leaving Kathryn to do this on her own, with no distractions at ringside.

Pearson wouldn’t have it any other way….her mind showing uncanny focus on…

Lohan: You know, it’s not too late, Kathryn.

That focus is no longer where it should be, as Pearson whips around and finds herself staring into the Blue Eyes of the sadistic beaut lingering in the shadows of a doorway. She puts a phone in her pocket before approaching Kathryn, who wisely has her fists raised at the ready.

Loahn Not too late to remove any doubt about emerging champion tonight.

Kathyrn: What do you want, you Blue Eyed Bi….

Lohan: EASY now Kathryn….you wouldn’t want to get physical….not now…not moments before your title match….It’s a risk you can ill-afford.

Kathryn: Get on with it then.

Lohan: Kate, you want this….you really want this badly don’t you?

Kathyrn: Would I have agreed to team with you back at Upping the Ante if I didn’t?

Evident by the sardonic smirk on her face, this is exactly what Lohan wanted to hear.

Lohan: Then why leave ANYTHING up to chance?

Kathryn bats her eyes.

Lohan: Ever since David left you and took your child you’ve been looking for your place….you’ve been trying to be more than a wife, or a mother…you want to be a champion, and this….

A crowbar is pulled out from behind Lohan’s back.

Lohan: Will make sure that happens.

The weapon is thrust right into Kathryn’s chest, but instead of taking it she lets the weapon fall to the concrete with a loud clank.

Lohan: You’re going to be wanting to pick that up, Love.

Kathryn: No….no I don’t. Because I don’t have to depend on weapons to get it done in the ring, I rely on….

Lohan: Talent….cunning….HEART….yadda-yadda-yadda…..yeah-yeah-yeah, heard it all before. And it’s all bull, Kathryn….you and I both know it. Being sanctimonious isn’t going to make you a champion. This whole honor and respect brouhaha, it’s just putting you in jeopardy of losing this title match tonight. So why leave anything up to chance?

She lifts the crowbar up on the edge of her foot, balancing it upon toes then kicking it towards Pearson. This time Kathryn does catch it, glaring down into the weapon, and not instantly shunning it.

Lohan: Why not go out there with an insurance policy that will guarantee you the X-Class Championship? It’s like Yvonne said, you and I, we BOTH struggled too long and endured too much to get these title shots….So why would you leave anything up to chance now?

Brittany grabs a stand of Kathryn’s hair and twirls it around her index finger.

Lohan: You want to be champion…..THIS is gonna make it so.

The crowbar is shaken in Kathryn’s hand just as Lohan moseys on along down the corridor. She doesn’t even look back to acknowledge Pearson in the midst of an internal struggle.

Scene goes to katelyn standing outside The Los Angelas Childrens hospital she is wearing a grey hooded sweat shirt over a white tank top and blue jeans.

Katelyn: We’re at the Children’s Hospital in Los Angelas today for the make a wish foundation. Lets skaddle inside so we can see some of the kids

Katelyn enters the hospital through the front door as she enters she is greeted by a nurse

Katelyn(Voice over) I have been working with make a wish since just before i left SCW. When I was pregnant I wanted to do something and I couldn’t really do anything in ring or backstage…really me a road agent? So i took the make a wish job. At first it was a job… but it grew quickly into something more. After I left SCW and came here I talked to Orlando and said I wanted to do this i wanted to represent IWC even if the company didn’t want to be officially involved but Lando said he wanted IWC to show that we do care so that’s how we got involved. I come here whenever I’m in town and i arranged for the new york sick kids to have regular seats at each riot.

We see clips of Katelyn taking pictures with several different kids and doctors.

Katelyn: (Voice over) I’m a mom now so i like to think that helping out the children’s hospital just feels right. I like meeting these fans alot of them have been following me my whole career.

We go to a shot of a young cancer patient handing katelyn a glossy photo. She shows the camera and smiles

Katelyn: Pictures from my first day with IWC i dont think i even signed my contract yet when this picture was taken.

Katelyn signs the picture for the boy and then wraps her arm around the boy as a picture is taken.

Katelyn(Voice over) I don’t consider myself a role model or really any sort of major celebrity by any right. So when these kids ask for autographs and pictures and this one girl she has stage 3 cancer said i was her favoritte wrestler it just tears me up and signing a few pictures.. giving some tickets it just doesn’t even feel like that’s enough.

We see a clip of Katelyn talking to a girl with a pink hat wearing a house coat and pajama pants and a Katelyn t-shirt. They exchange words and then Katelyn hugs the girl as we see flashes going off in the background.

Katelyn: I may never be IWC Champion but i dont even think that will make me feel as good as these kids make me feel. even after all the horrible shit i have done in my life it’s just feels good to have this kind of admiration and to give back in such a real way.

The cameras cut from that feel good video to the polar opposite, the sullen face of Mark Comeau, positioned yet again in the standard interview section.

Comeau: Ladies and gentlemen. Little Mrs. Make-A-Wish….Katelyn Buehler.

The reception is downright deafening….seriously….go out, buy hearing aids right now, you’re gonna need them. The fans are in full happy mode to see Katelyn, sweaty, yet smiley

Comeau: Katelyn….congratulations on your win earlier tonight against Kordelia Price.

Katelyn: Believe me, it was a pleasure putting that bitch in her place….Every time my fist connected with her face all I could was picture Rachel Foxx, Porno Lad…and Taylor Chase….so it was really therapeutic actually.

Comeau: Surprised you could make time to beat down that pretty young thing when you’re so vested in you’re Make-A-Wish campaign.

Katelyn smiles and brushes hair behind her ear.

Katelyn: For years, I took and I took and I took …I took this business for granted, and I took those fans for granted. Now it’s time for me to start giving something back to…them..

She trails off and for good reason because she makes eyes to eye contact with Hurse. Mark cautiously steps back…..having no desire whatsoever to stand between these two. Hurse doesn’t care about Comeau or his hidden fanny pack of goodies….he’s only concerned with one person, Katelyn set in the crosshairs of the ailing combatant.

Hurse: Kate….

Katelyn: Steve….

Hurse: I’m not in a particularly pleasant mood at the moment, and it actually hurts to talk A LOT….so I’ll make this brief.

Katelyn: Thank God for that.

Hurse: I’ve made my intentions known these past few weeks and Robin and I have given you adequate time to think over our proposition.

Katelyn: Well….you do realize that I am no stranger to being propositioned.

<PHurse: So I’m not going to stand around forever waiting on your decision. I would not advice disrespecting me like Danny Darko has. You’re list of friends is a very….very short one….Don’t go and cost yourself another.

Katelyn: Friends? So friends try to get each other disqualified and make it their goal to screw one another out of championship gold?

Hurse: No….friends watch one another’s backs…as I’ve done for you, for years now. And will continue to do for you if you join Brooks and I our crusade to eradicate the Chase family.

Katelyn: Steven, its like Danny told you a few moments ago….

She has no qualms or hesitation about telling Hurse exactly what she thinks….no concern shown for his feelings.

Katelyn: If I want Taylor….I’ll get Taylor….and I don’t need you or Robin to make it happen. When I become World Heavyweight Champion, it’ll be on my own….without relying on anyone….anyone but myself.

Hurse slowly runs his hand over his head, combing the sweat through his hair.

Hurse: Katelyn….you’re making a big mistake….one you’ll regret for the rest of your life….so I’ll give you some time to reconsider.

Katelyn: I don’t need time….

Hurse: Take it.

’No’ is not an answer Hurse will accept…he walks away and leaves Buehler before she can resolutely turn down his invitation.

Katelyn: Some people just never learn.

Buehler turns away from Comeau and the backside of Hurse, only to find herself facing down Tabitha Silverstone. Katelyn is noticeably taken aback by the presence of the almighty agent….who just stares and stares at Buehler….with neither she nor the potential Word Champion uttering so much as a word.

Katelyn: Can I help you?

The tense silence is finally broken.

Tabitha: No….but you CAN help yourself.

Katelyn: How so?

The grin on Tabitha’s face is as fishy as they come.

Tabitha: You want Taylor Chase for the World Heavyweight Title….you want the Coalition? I can make it happen.

A card is withdrawn from Tabitha’s purse and slipped into the bra-strap of Buehler.

Tabitha: Call me when you’re truly ready to become World Heavyweight Champion.

Now it’s Tabitha’s backside that Buehler faces, watching the agent leave before removing the card from her pocket. She goes to ball it up with the intention to throw it away….but then stops right in the midst of crumpling it….reconsidering. She slowly straightens it out and reads the number affixed upon the card.

P CLARENCE WHITMAN © VS. KATHRYN PEARSON:
X-CLASS CHAMPIONSHIP

The arena’s houselights cut and purple spot lights begin to flicker on and off around the stage as the opening chords of “Rip Out The Wings of a Butterfly” by H.I.M hits the speaker system. As the drums kick in, the fans realise that the slender figure of a woman stands on the stage in the middle of the flickering spotlights with her back to the crowd. As the song kicks in properly the figure turns around, bends and slaps the floor before shooting upright and throwing her arms out wide as sparks fall from the rafters above. The house lights raise slightly to reveal the woman as Kathryn Pearson, ex-wife of David Helms. Kathryn has a huge smile on her face because of the cheering from the fans as she quickly begins to stride towards the ring.

Ring Announcer: “Making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California; she weighed in earlier this evening at one hundred and eighteen pounds – KAAAATHRYN… PEEEEEARSON…”

Kathryn hits the bottom of the ramp and hops up onto the apron, kneeling on one knee before leaning back against the ropes and throwing her arms out again. Popping up to her feet, Kathryn climbs through the ropes and hopes up onto the nearest turnbuckle, leaning out towards the fans with her arms out, posing for photos before dropping down and leaning back against the ropes as she waits for the start of the match.

The crowd is in a frenzy when seeing Kathryn Pearson….the bubbliest and most beautiful of IWC vixens proceeding through the curtains and to the stage. Though she wants to leave here tonight a little heavier…about fifteen pounds heavier that is….she is currently weighed down by another object….the crowbar.

Dollar: And we are finally here, the X-Class Championship up for grabs as Kathryn Pearson, after enduring so much…after undergoing so many battles…..finally prepares to square off with P Clarence Whitman III for the X-Class Title.

Susie: And it looks like she’s brought along something that will turn the tide in her favor.

Dollar: Indeed, Brittany Lohan giving Kathryn that crowbar right before the match for who knows what reason.

Susie: Maybe she’s trying to morally corrupt Kathryn Pearson….

Dollar: I don’t kow….or perhaps if she can get Kathryn to show that she’s willing to cheat to win the championship it’ll make the Unity hypocrites, and show Taylor that everything that Unity is trying to reach her is grade A bullshit.

Susie: Let’s concentrate on Kathryn though….who went through not one….but TWO number one contenders matches in order to get this shot at P Wiggy III.

Dollar: Right Susie, first she won a triple threat match over Mika Kozlov and Xander Cassius to become number one contender for the X-Class Title….but then after some maneuvering by the Blacklist, she had to put that contendership on the line in that three way tag team match at Upping the Ante. After all that here she finally stands ready to fight for the title.

Once in the ring Kathryn enters an internal debate….looking down at the crowbar and then up into the faces of the fans. They are pleading with her not to do this….not to indulge that desire to win at all cost….Not to stoop to lows embodied by Dark Legacy.

Their cries at last encourage Pearson to do the right thing, looking down at the crowbar and shaking her head before tossing it out of the ring.

Dollar: Alright! Kathyrn is gonna play this one straight up.

Susie: Yay….sister’s got soul.

<PDollar: She has a conscious….just like her Unity family….and a fighting spirit to boot. She’s not about to sully this match and a potential title win by lowering herself to the level of Lohan and Dark Legacy.

Susie: This is like sticking your tongue out at Lohan….it’s a huge insult.

Dollar: That’s putting it mildly.

The crowbar lies at ringside….an area soon occupied by the X-Class Champion. Without fancy pryo….laser-lights….even intro music….P Clarence Whitman III steps through the curtains bedecked by his title. He pauses on the stage, literally blowing off some steam….rather stressed after the night he’s endured. Nevertheless he summons his last bits of courage and embarks to the ring, only hesitating briefly to examine the crowbar.

Dollar: P. Clarence Whitman…..good God….do I really have to say that entire time every time?

Susie: Just go with P Wiggy.

Dollar: That name will NEVER pass through these lips. Anyway….Whitman said it himself earlier tonight, he’s had a really bad night, being used first by the Coalition and then by the Black Crusade for testimonial purposes….plus he apparently got some bad news regarding his mother.

Susie: And he’s got that thing on his face that he calls a mustache.

Dollar: Well his night can either continue into a downward spiral, or he can rebound nicely here in just a few moments by retaining the X-Class Championship and going home on a good note for a high.

Susie: Like when you sniff a magic marker?

Another deep breath from Whitman who passes by the crowbar and opts to enter the ring only with his championship in hand. He steps through the ropes and into the ring, removing his gold and lifting it aloft for what may be the final time. He whimpers when pulling the strap to his cheek, cradling it there and rocking from side to side.

Dollar: Whitman hugging the championship.

Susie: That belt means so much to him.

Dollar: He endured a lot to win the title….including the exposure of his bare-feet in order to make Claude Judas Rose tap out when he had a mouth full of Whitman’s insole. And the guy literally wears that gold EVERYWHERE he goes. He probably even showers with it on.

After tonight, if Whitman wins he’ll probably take a bubble-bath with the championship, which he is so reluctant to hand over to the referee. Ingelson steps back with title in tow, lifting the gold up high to an explosive roar from the fans.

Dollar: And here we go….our main event underway….X-Class Title on the line in this highly anticipated match.

The bell chimes and we’re underway, even if one of the talents involved doesn’t particularly wish to engage in this battle…hence why Whitman steps out of the ring instead of locking up with Pearson. He not only vacates the ring but does so after grabbing his championship out of the referee’s hands.

Dollar: What is Whitman doing?

Susie: It looks like he’s thinking about high-tailing it with the title.

Whitman looks down at the X-Class Championship then back up into the face of an impatient Pearson….who is through waiting for this title opportunity. Clarence makes her stew in anticipation even longer, wanting to relish every single moment between himself and the title. He longingly gazes at the belt and runs his palm over it before finally stepping back into the ring and handing the title to the official.

Dollar: Whitman finally growing a set of balls….

Susie: Maybe the words of the Coalition and the Black Crusade finally inspired him to be a man.

Dollar: Yes, they did repeatedly call his cowardice into question this evening.

Susie: They called him nothing short of a spineless coward with a really bad mustache.

Dollar: No one said anything about his mustache.

Susie: Well they should have.

At long last the two finally tie up for the title, jockeying for positioning. Whitman shows some depth by dragging Pearson down into a side headlock that is quickly transitioned into a hammerlock. Yep….Clarence has the fundamentals down pat….but how much he’s truly evolved as a wrestler is about to be tested.

Kathryn is going to be the one giving the examination. She reaches back, wraps an arm around Whitman’s neck and then leaps into the air. She comes back down and snapmares the Champion across the ring. Whitman rolls forward and straight unto his feet, falling into the ropes and using them for support. Kathryn gets perhaps a bit too headstrong, rushing at her opponent only to be caught with a back drop over the ropes.

Kathryn floats over the cables and instead of being dumped to the mats, she lands on the apron, maintaining her balance. She stabilizes herself just long enough for Whitman to stick his head under the ropes and under Pearson’s seat, standing up and back dropping her into the ring as opposed to out of it.

Somehow Kathryn manages to flip completely over though and land on her feet as opposed to her back. She then turns around and delivers a front dropkick right to Whitman’s derriere, resulting in him flying through the cables to the outside of the ring. He crashes down right across the mats and finds himself staring down into the crowbar mere inches from his face.

Whitman’s fingers instinctively reach out at first, and are about to snatch up the weapon only to have his hand ball into a fist. He bites his knuckles and rises to his feet without the weapon in hand.

The moment he gets up a set of boots fly through the ropes and nail him to his shoulder. The Challenger sends the Champion spiraling down to the mats and ending up at the edge of the steel ramp-way. Kathryn then pulls herself back into the ring, rushes across it to the opposite ropes, bounces off and then comes back in towards her adversary. The crowd erupts as Pearson prepares to go airborne but at the last second Whitman drops down and rolls towards the ring, prompting Kathryn to alter strategy.

Instead of flying through the ropes, she allows the back of her head to hit the top cable, sending her ricocheting back into the ring without taking a nasty spill to the mats.

Susie: Kathryn almost going high risk and suffering for it.

Dollar: It’s nice to see the evolution of both of these athletes…..who are still coming into their own right.

Susie: I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing these two in a lot of big matches in years to come.

Whitman stands up on the outside of the ring and wipes a bead of sweat from his brow….relieved that he didn’t suffer a high flying move. Though it seems he’s only delaying the inevitable, as he sat himself up for another move…..another baseball slide dropkick. Pearson’s feet fly through the ropes to connect with the Champion’s shoulder, but instead Whitman lifts the ring tarp and ensnares Pearson within them.

Kathryn lands on her feet with her lower extremities trapped under the ring tarp, which prevents her from having any defense against the running boot that Whitman delivers square on her cheek.

The swift shot leaves Kathryn dangling over the tarp looking comatose.

The swift shot leaves Whitman looking glassy eyed…truly repulsed with himself over striking a woman. Nevertheless he takes a deep breath and grabs Pearson by the hair, flinging her head back so that her upper spine hits the apron rather viciously.

Whitman: Please accept my apologies, Dear, I didn’t want this….truly I didn’t.

He then barrels forward and delivers a lariat to the throat of his upright opposition, which finally puts the Challenger down. She falls behind the tarp which Whitman raises to get his hands on her. But all he finds is a vacant space where Kathryn should be…..leading to a look of bewilderment.

Whitman: Oh no….another David Copperfield? Or I guess a Diana Copperfield?

No….Pearson hasn’t vanished…she rolled under the ring and is now crawling out on the opposite side. Before Whitman realizes what trickery Kathryn has employed….she rushes around the ringside area, steps off the stairs and launches herself into the Champion just as he turned to acknowledge his airborne opposition. Kathryn lands right on top of him and puts the two down to the mats with Pearson on top raining down right hands into his jaw.

Dollar: Pearson showing some smarts….

Susie: Intelligence….talent…boobs….is there nothing this woman does not possess?

Dollar: The X-Class Championship…but that might change here in a few moments.

Fist after fist nails Whitman’s face, delivered by a particularly aggressive Pearson. She then leads the Champion up to his feet, takes hold of his wrist and whips him towards the ring. Clarence rolls in and gets to his elbows and knees just as Pearson leaps over the top rope and catches him by his thigh and shoulder, pulling the Champion down into a pin. She then flips over top of him and bridges back while hooking his neck and his leg.

1

2

Whitman kicks out a moment before the three could be made….but wait…he doesn’t just kick out….he counters into a crucifix pin.

1

2

Kathryn gets a shoulder up….refusing to have her fate sealed….refusing to have her dreams dashed so quickly.

But she doesn’t just kick out, she drops over to her feet in the process and waits for Whitman to get to his knees. Just as he does, Kathryn swings around into a roundhouse kick to the noggin that is ducked. The momentum of the kick causes Pearson to turn her back on the champ, who stands, grabs her around the waist and then drops back into a roll up.

Whitman ends up seated across the back of Kathryn’s thighs….going for the pin to a uproarious response from the crowd.

1

2

Somehow Pearson manages to kick out of her accordion like folding and send Whitman scrambling toward the ropes. He ricochets off and comes back in at Pearson just as she kips up to her feet and withstands a big lariat to the throat.

The deep clothesline knocks the Challenger to the canvas with the Champion coming down beside her. He then throws himself over Pearson’s chest….PREYING that it’ll be enough to secure possession of his gold.

1

Nope…it doesn’t even get the hopeful Champion a two count. Much to his chagrin the bout continues.

Susie: Whitman thought he had Pearson beat with a clothesline? Really now?

Dollar Oh yes….Whitman is absolutely desperate to end this….and that’s why he’s going for this already….

Johnny is referencing the very submission that won Whitman the title. He pushes Pearson over to her stomach and takes her arm, putting it between his knees and then trying to interlock his hands in front of her jaw. Some fans cheer, others bemoan the fate of Pearson, as Whitman prepares to apply the crossface and perhaps retain the title.

Mere moments before that scenario can play out, Pearson manages to duck into a forward roll, ending up right back on her feet then twisting about into the roundhouse kick….a kick that narrowly misses.

Whitman ducks his head with the leg traveling over it. He then stands up and wraps arms around her waist, going for another roll up. But this time Kathryn avails herself of this predicament by driving her elbow down into the hands clasped about her waist.

She then reaches back with her legs and delivers a drop toe hold, putting Whitman down to the canavas with Kathryn rolling past him. She stands up right in front of Whitman, who gets to a knee just as Pearson swings around and nails him to the temple with a roundhouse kick.

The shot echoes throughout the arena and puts Clarence on his back with Kathryn falling across his sternum…..For she’s now the one hoping she’s dealt enough damage to become the champion.

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Not the case….Percival gets a shoulder up and rolls away from Pearson in the process. Kathryn closes the distance and steps onto the creases of Whitman’s knees, she then reaches down for his wrists, trying to pull the Champion over into the Mexican surfboard.

Even though Whitman is a small man…he still has enough girth to make this task impossible for Pearson to pull off. So she changes strategy yet again, leaping into the air and then driving Whitman’s knees to the canvas with stomps.

Dollar: Whitman’s knees shattered.

Susie: Will that make him even shorter? Poor guy probably has a hard enough time getting on roller coasters at his height.

Pearson then spins around right out of surfboard attempt into a Single Leg Boston Crab. One of the damaged limbs is raised and tucked under Pearson’s armpit while she sits down on the crease of the champion’s knee. Whitman grimaces and begins to gnaw at his fist, trying his best to resist the urge to use said hand to slap the canvas.

Dollar: Boston Crab locked in….I’ll say it again as I have in the past…it is AMAZING to see the growth and development of Pearson.

Susie: Yeah….actually I think she’s a little over-developed.

Whitman’s face twists into a picture of agony….but he is still resisting this urge to tap….With the hand that is not being chewed, he’s capable of pulling himself towards the ropes, reaching out and grabbing the bottom rope.

A five count isn’t needed, because Kathryn breaks the hold the moment she’s informed Whitman has reached the ropes. She then rolls Clarence to his back and begins to drag him to the center of the ring. Suddenly the Champion shifts his weight and pulls Pearson down with the very leg she was clutching into a small package.

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Pearson kicks out of the shocking pinfall attempt and instantly rolls to her feet before grabbing Whitman’s leg. She swings around it and then grabs the other leg, placing it over his trapped ankle and then falling to her rump as she applies a modified Indian Death Lock. She pins both of Whitman’s legs in place with her foot, really applying pressure on the submission that seems to be bringing Clarence to the verge of submission.

But he just won’t do it….he can’t bring himself to live with the thought that he tapped out to lose the X-Class Championship. The old Whitman….the one we saw get himself intentionally disqualified at the End of the Year Special…might have given up the second he was put in danger…but not now…not this Whitman…not this Whitman who’s out to keep his title and make a statement.

Susie: Another hold and this might just do it.

Dollar: I don’t know….Clarence has demonstrated that he’s willing to fight for the gold tonight, he’s not running away from this and he’s not giving up either.

Susie: But come on….this is the same mustachioed dude who ran away from a fight with Legion…He gives up every time that the going gets too tough.

Are we truly seeing a new and improved Whitman here….one who won’t indulge his compulsion for self-preservation? It seems to be the case considering that he’s struggling through the Indian Death Lock and even pulling himself across the canvas towards the ropes. Kathryn tries to hold on…..but it’s all in vain….Whitman reaches the ropes and grabs hold to a loud pop from the crowd.

Dollar: And again Whitman defies our expectations by reaching the ropes.

Susie: Surprising….given this guy’s track record.

The hold is broken but not Pearson’s grip on her opponent’s ankles. She drags him back to the center of the ring by his legs only to have Whitman counter into another small package. But this time Kathryn slaps the hand away that reaches for the back of her neck and then flips over into a jackknife cover

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Whitman sits up, flipping Pearson back and onto her shoulders while Clarence leans into the back of her thighs.

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Kathryn drops over to his knees and then leans with her shoulders to the creases of Whitman’s legs, pushing him down into a pinfall.

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Whitman kicks out and falls to his side, in the process catching Pearson by the arm and under the jaw. He leans back, successfully countering into the crossface.

Dollar: Oh my God…..OMG…Whitman’s got the crossface….he’s got the crossface!

Susie: It’s won him a lot of matches.

Dollar: It won him the title to begin with.

The hold is firmly established, as the back of Pearson’s head threatens to connect with the space between her shoulder blades. The X-Class Champion will rip Kathryn’s head off if that’s what it takes to retain his title….He digs down deep….he puts his all into this…..and will not lose….cannot lose….will not be separated from a belt that means everything to him.

Pearson lifts her hand into the air to a loud outcry from the trembling masses, but much like Whitman, she will not give up. She remains resolute in her determination to become a champion. She wedges a palm to the canvas and begins to drag not only herself but the full weight of Whitman along with her right into the ropes…ropes she manages to reach out and grab to a rip roaring response.

Dollar: And Pearson showing that she is just as determined as Whitman to walk out of here tonight with the title.

Susie: She went through too much to just lose now in the final hour.

Whitman is beside himself when he hears the referee declare that Pearson has reached the ropes. With a sullen expression Clarence rolls away from Pearson, getting to the center of the ring where he prepares strategy. Kathryn gets to her feet with the aid of the ropes just as Clarence rushes in and delivers a lariat to her throat, flipping her up and over the cables to the outside of the ring.

Dollar: There goes Pearson right down to the mats.

Susie: Whitman will probably use this time to collect himself.

Nope….not what Whitman has planned at all…..He sets his sights on the recovering Kathryn outside of the ring and then begins to stomp his foot and slap his hands above his head.

Dollar: Oh great…..here we go again…..another anticlimactic ‘dive’ from Whitman.

The crowd doesn’t get its hopes up as Whitman dashes across the ring and although he would normally stop, and get to a far lower elevation only to ultimately deliver a standard blow….this time he actually leaps over the ropes….turning himself into a human missile that connects with Pearson and gets the crowd to their feet.

Dollar: Whitman just….he just….

Susie: My mind is like blown right now.

Dollar: Whitman actually went high risk and it paid off.

The fans have commenced with a holy shit chant that reverberates throughout the entire Manhattan Center. It shakes Whitman as well, who stands up and unleashes a roar…feeding off of this emotion like never before. He kicks the barricade and then slaps his hands across its surface, continuing to fire himself up.

Dollar: Look at him….I’ve never seen Whitman like this before.

Susie: Whitman isn’t just out to retain the title….he’s out to prove that he is no coward.

Whitman grabs Pearson’s hair and rolls her into the ring before following her in and going for the lateral press. The fans are beyond excited, surging with adrenaline as they realize that Whitman is closing in on the championship.

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Pearson puts greater distance between he and his title by getting her shoulder up….frustrating Whitman to no ends. He sits up and grimaces before returning to his feet and then pointing to the top rope.

Dollar: Are you kidding me? Once wasn’t good enough for Whitman.

Susie: He’s not only defying expectations, he’s blowing them out of the water.

Whitman approaches the ropes, slips through them to the apron and then begins to scale to the top cable. He situates himself up top and prepares to go high risk a second time only to find that Pearson will not resolve herself to playing victim….no….she was playing possum. She rushes to her feet and then charges at the turnbuckle, grabbing Whitman’s ankle and tearing it out from under him. He collapses crotch first on the top rope and then screeches in pain.

Susie: Whitman finding out what his testicles taste like.

Dollar: And he might be tasting defeat as a result.

An emotional….determined Pearson scales the turnbuckle and gets to the very top rope right in front of a seated Whitman before going to the air. She lands on Whitman’s shoulders and drops back into the hurricarana. The frankenstiener sends Whitman collapsing from the turnbuckle with Pearson landing on his chest then reaching back for his legs, trying to hook the creases so she can fold them under her into a pin.

But the moment she reaches for the legs, Whitman surprises her by sitting up and reversing the pin into a roll-up…one that Kathryn rolls right out of onto her elbows and knees. She then scurries towards Whitman who manages to slip around her side and grab her arm in the process.

He forces Kathryn down to the canvas and applies the crossface to yet another piercing roar.

Dollar: What an amazing series of reversals back into the crossface!

Susie: He’s got to get the win with it this time. He’s GOT to.

But that’s not what happens, considering that Pearson rolls to her side and manages to pull Whitman over top of her. She then twists out of the crossface and to her feet, turning towards the Champion’s elevated legs, stepping through them then dropping down into the Indian Death Lock variation. Whitman sits up and finds himself squealing in the utmost agony as Pearson puts everything…her all and then some into the submission. She wrenches at the legs and wrenches at them until cartiledge threatens to snap.

Whitman falls to his back and covers his eyes….not realizing that he’s put himself into a pinning predicament.

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Whitman quickly sit sup when he learns the error of his ways. He then wedges his fists to the canvas and begins to drag him towards the ropes…eventually reaching out and wrapping an index finger around the bottom rope.

Dollar: Aaaahhh….Pearson was so close there after an amazing counter to become the X-Class Champion.

Susie: I really thought she had won the gold there….that Whitman was finally going to be the sniveling coward he’s been since day one here in the IWC.

It takes a little more prompting than usual to coax Pearson into breaking the hold. She finally does release the Champion though, before rolling to the center of the ring….where she looks pretty spent after this physical and hard fought battle.

Though she’s exhausted, she still has numerous tricks up her sleeve….which she is about to use in order to razzle dazzle her opponent. She stands up just as Whitman gets to his feet and then grabs his wrist, leading him away from the ropes. Then Kathryn lifts her foot, wedges it directly to Whitman’s jaw and then drops back into the Cool It…..but the Champion will be no bitch….he counters at the last second. As Kathryn falls to her back, Whitman catches her around the leg, twists his body and then flips over into the jackknife cover that elicits another loud ovation from the shocked masses.

Dollar: Whitman’s got her….he may have her….he may have her.

The official slides into position and makes the count while Kathryn trashes and squirms to free herself

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Suddenly Pearson rolls over to her side and drags Whitman along with her. The two end up on their knees with Kathryn leaning over Whitman’s back. She drags him along to his feet and then swings around under his arm before wedging a foot to Whitman’s chin. Pearson then drops back into the Cool It, Bitch!

Dollar: She delivered it…she finally drills his jaw with the Cool It, Bitch.

Susie: And now she will finally have a title around her waist….There’s no way Whitman’s kicking out again….no way.

Whitman stands up straight with eyes rolling to the back of his head before he tumbles down to the canvas, out like a light. Pearson crawls across the ring realizing this is it….this is her golden opportunity….literally. The title has been denied to her for so long, but not anymore….after all her sacrifices it’ll finally be all worth it, as she drops over Whitman’s chest and hooks his leg in the process.

The referee makes a final and emphatic count.

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3!

The reception is off the charts when Kathryn sits up to celebrate only to be informed that Whitman got his shoulder up a second before the three.

Dollar: And Kathryn has done it…she’s just….

Susie: No…no she didn’t….Whitman kicked out….he kicked out right before the three.

Dollar: Is this the same P Clarence Whitman III who would rather run than fight?

Susie: Kathryn so close…..a mere fraction of a second away from becoming the X-Class Champion and bringing the gold into the Unity fold.

Kathryn slides hands through her hair, ready to rip them out at the roots. She finally ascends to her feet albeit on weak, wobbly knees. The X-Class Champion struggles….struggles valiantly to try and get up…but every movement absolutely kills him. The debilitating blows he’s withstood have taken their toll and Pearson looks to capitalize on all her hard work. She grabs Whitman around the neck, leads him up to his feet and then whips him across the ring. She seems intent on this point in hitting the hip toss piledriver but the second she hooks Whitman’s arm to throw him over, he suddenly swings around under it, catches her by the bicep and forces her down to the canvas, locking in the crossface…..but wait….no….Pearson manages to pluck her head free at the last second then roll forward, right over top of Whitman’s arm. She turns around and grabs Whitman’s wrist, pulling him up to his feet and then extending her own foot, setting up for the Cool It, Bitch yet again to a heart stopping response.

But Whitman swings out of position and around behind Kathryn’s back, grabbing her arms and locking in the rarely seen Million Dollar Dream.

Dollar: Now Whitman is busting out a move we haven’t seen from him for a while, the Million Dollar Dream in an attempt to retain his Championship.

Susie: I’m convinced Whitman’s been replaced by an android….oh cool….imagine that…..Robo-Whitman….complete with a cybernetic mustache.

The fans are on their feet watching intently as Whitman fights to get the submission locked in and Pearson struggles to prevent being locked in it. Suddenly she takes off running, dragging Whitman along with her and then drops down right before she hits the nearest corner. The momentum allows Whitman to break the hold and fly over top of Pearson, soaring chest and face first into the top turnbuckle pad. He bounces off and goes staggering back towards Kathryn, who catches him with a school girl.

Dollar: And another amazing counter by Pearson.

Susie: She’s showing so much heart in this match….which Lohan said wasn’t going to win her the match….

Dollar: I think Pearson is proving that wrong right now.

The referee slides into position to make the count to crown a new X-Class Champion only to have Whitman roll right out of the pin attempt and back to his feet. Pearson then stands up and throws a big lariat only to have her arm caught and for Whitman to drag her down into the crossface.

Dollar And the crossface is ocked in again….he’s got it….he’s got her tied up!

Susie: Listen to this reaction.

It’s impossible not to, as the fans are stomping their feet and slapping the barricades, creating an atmosphere of sheer excitement as they watch Whitman stretch Pearson’s shoulder from her socket and rip her and tear at her neck. Every eye is glued to the action….unable to turn away as Pearson fights….struggles….and screams in an attempt to find the strength to fight through this. Sadly for Kathryn, it seems that multiple exposures to the crossface have done their tricks….she’s done…she’s got no strength left to evade this hold.

Whitman can fee her energy fading, prompting him to intensify the hold….putting what little strength he has left into the hold. Then Kathryn digs her claws into the canvas, dragging, pulling….yanking Whitman along with her towards the ropes.

Dollar: I can’t believe this….look at Pearson, she’s actually going for the ropes….she’s actually trying to fight out of the crossface yet again.

Susie: I’m beside myself….which would be awesome, because I’d never need a mirror again.

Closer and closer and closer to the ropes Pearson manages to drag Whitman, her arm stretching as far as possible for the ropes but falling far short. The temptation is there….the desire persistent….self-preservation becoming an overwhelming compulsion. Her hand no longer reaches for the ropes but lingers above the canvas, open palm about to slap the ring and bring an end to her title ambitions.

Susie: Is she gonna give up….is she gonna quite….is she-is she-is she?

Dollar: The crossface might just do it.

Pearson’s hand falls…..and the match…..CONTINUES….because the palm comes down right across the bottom rope. Another explosive roar has the crowd falling back into their seats fanning themselves off, feeling a case of the vapors. Whitman breaks the hold at the persistence of the referee, the sweaty and exhausted champion rolling away from the equally as winded challenger. The fans commence with a rousing ‘this is awesome’ chant…something Whitman never thought he would hear. He cannot listen to the reaction of the crowd….only concerned with the retaining of his title.

He struggles to his feet, back,, knees, hips, every joint and every bone aching. Pearson pulls herself along the ropes, her legs feeling like absolute jello. She eventually straightens then out under her as Whitman steps in behind and grabs her arms, beginning to establish the Million Dollar Dream.

But Kathryn suddenly drops, sliding down Whitman’s stomach and falling to her back before lifting her legs, placing them under the Champion’s armpits and then sits up, rolling him forward into a pinning predicament. She ends up seated on Whitman’s chest holding down the creases of his knees.

Dollar: Pearson’s got him….she’s got the title!

The official falls into position and slaps the canvas with the fans counting along.

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Whitman rolls backwards, kicking out and reversing the pin into one of his own. He ends up seated across the back of Kathryn’s thighs, folding her up completely beneath him.

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Kathryn manages to push Whitman off so that he falls on his seat with Pearson sitting behind him. She then wraps her legs around Whitman’s waist and rolls to the side, pulling the Champion along onto the back of his shoulders while she lies on her stomach. The fans cover their mouths with baited breaths.

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Once again Whitman doesn’t settle for just kicking out. He gets his shoulder up and then falls over to his seat right at Pearson’s side, grabbing her arm, lifting it up and going for the crossface.

Susie: He’s gonna get it locked in again!

Just when it seems that Whitman is going to get the hold locked in again and for the final time, Kathryn twists her body, wraps her legs around the Champion’s far shoulder then counters by pulling him over into the crucifix pin.

Dollar: What a counter by Pearson, is this it?

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The fans are on the verge of celebrating the coronation of a new X-Class Champion only to have Whitman get a shoulder up seconds before the three.

Dollar: Amazingly Whitman manages to kick out once more.

Susie: I’m getting sea-sick watching this match go back and forth.

Sweat profusely oozes from the Champion and the Challenger as they race to their feet. Pearson then reaches out and grabs Whitman’s arms, swinging him around and then pulling him down into the backslide.

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Yet again the hopes for a new champion are dashed by the current one, who kicks out and drops over to his knees. He stands up and grabs Kathryn’s hair, pulling it under his seat. He drags Kathryn up and into piledrier position only to have Pearson shift her weight, pushing her up and onto Whitman’s shoulders.

Pearson’s hurricarana is reversed into a running powerbomb by Whitman that is also reversed as Kathryn drops down over the Champion’s head and back. She catches him around the waist on the way down and pulls him over into a roll up pin.

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And just when it seems Pearson has the gold…Whitman manages to dash those hopes by launching a shoulder from the ring and dropping over onto his knees. He then leaps at the seated Pearson with a lariat only to have Kathryn side step it, catch him by the bicep and force him down to the canvas as she tries to get the crossface applied.

Susie: Look at this, Pearson using Whitman’s own submission against him.

Dollar: This is unbelievable….Pearson could be on the verge of winning the title by way of using Whitman’s own hold against him.

That’s NOT gonna happen, Whitman ducks head and breaks the submission before it can be fully locked in. He rolls forward right over the hands of his opponent, but in the process his heel manages to clip referee Ingelson right in the cornea. The official got in the way and paid, now clutching at his eye and bellowing in pain. He then turns, grabs her by the wrist and drags her up to her feet before lifting his boot and beginning to wedge it against Pearson’s chin. With wide eyes the crowd watches Whitman attempt to deliver the Cool It, Bitch.

Dollar: Now Whitman is trying to steal Kathryn’s move.

Susie: This is such copyright infringement.

Suddenly Whitman’s foot is pushed away from the jaw just before he could use Pearson’s finisher to retain his title. He turns his back to Kathryn who wraps arms around his waist. Just before she can go for the roll-up, Whitman rushes forward into the ropes, trying to use them to block the hold. Clarence then bends down just before they reach the cables, hoping to drive Pearson’s chest into the cables…but instead he drives her face into a crowbar. The wave of excitement from the fans quickly transforms into one of dread when crowbar is finally put to use, by Brittany Lohan.

Dollar: NOOO!

Brittany managed to sneak to the ringside area and now drives the weapon right into Kathryn’s forehead. The shot from the bar went unnoticed by the official, who is still tending to his eyeball. Whitman however, does see Lohan standing at ringside with the crowbar in her hand and a twisted smile stretching across her face. She backs away from the ring and truly relishes the sight of Whitman swallowing his pride and taking advantage of the opportunity she created

<PDollar: Brittany Lohan….that conniving wicked…wicked woman bashing in the skull of Kathryn Pearson with the crowbar and ruining what was a very competitive….exciting bout.

Susie: Not to mention ruining Pearson’s title ambitions.

Dollar: How could she…..how could she be this cruel?

Susie: It’s easy when you’re Brittany Lohan.

Whitman is suffering a moral crisis, turning and acknowledging the bar in Brittany’s hand, then the condition of the sprawled out Pearson. After a deep breath Clarence rushes in, takes Kathryn around the head, pulls her up to her feet then drags her head into a front chancery and then snaps back into the basic yet highly effective DDT. Kathryn flips over to her side and Whitman crawls into the lateral press, hooking a leg in the process.

Dollar: Oh don’t do it this way Whitman….not this way…

Susie: This was a major statement making match and yet Whitman is throwing away everything by taking the win this way.

The official slaps the ring with the fans dreadfully counting along.

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And that is all she wrote….and the ending was a total killjoy….Whitman retaining his title after capitalizing on the shot Brittany gave Pearson with the crowbar.

Dollar: I guess a zebra cannot change their stripes after-all.

Susie: God that sounds cool…just imagine a zebra having a closet full of zebra costumes with different stripe patterns.

Dollar: Whitman resorting to the same cowardly antics we’ve come to associate with him in order to retain his title.

Susie: Kathryn wasn’t about to stoop to any lows necessary to retain the title….but Whitman was a different story.

The fans are truly disheartened by Whitman’s behavior this evening, as he sits on the canvas looking equally as distressed. However, that dismay transforms to elation when reunited with the X-Class Championship, watching his frown turn into a smile as reflected by the polished surface of the title.

Dollar: Yeah….you keep the belt, Whitman, but was it worth it?

Lohan chuckles as she turns her back on the ring and marches to the backstage area, leaving Whitman to celebrate and Pearson to embody dismay. She begins to come through, rolling to the side with a knot forming on her scalp. She looks barely conscious but it still registers with her that she’s suffered a crippling defeat. Whitman has taken his leave, not wanting to watch Kathryn suffer the degradation of defeat.

He throws the belt over his shoulder and progresses up the ramp only to come to a dead stop when he spots Leeland Gaunt standing on the stage, leaning heavily upon his cane.

Dollar: What brings Mr. Gaunt along?

Whitman’s lower lip trembles when spotting Mr. Gaunt giving a judgmental shaking of his head.

Mr. Gaunt: No growth whatsoever, Mr. Whitman. You truly are a small, meek, spineless wretch of a man. And I believe you’re antics have led to me render a verdict on behalf of the Black Crusade….

Though he says this without a microphone, his voice bellows loud enough for Whitman’s ears to heart, even over the roar of the crowd. Clarence’ head lowers and the title slides slowly off of his shoulder into his palm. He stares down at the belt and slowly runs his fingers over its surface.

All of a sudden Whitman rushes to the ring, grabs one of the techs standing behind the photographers and pulls him along into the ring. The pair rolls into the ring and Whitman grabs the belt of the referee just before he could vacate the squared circle. He then spins the official around and shouts at both Ingelson and the tech, insisting that the official watch the Cartel-tron, and that the ring-crew member order a replay of the closing moments of the match. Both tech and ref alike follow instructions.

The Cartel-tron lights up with images of Lohan caving in Pearson’s skull with the crowbar…..which leads ultimately to Kathryn’s undoing. The referee sees all of this and is about to reverse his decision to a disqualification but Whitman stays his hand. Ingelson is more confused than ever before Whitman whispers something into his ear to provide clarity.

Whitman: Please kind fellow….would you restart the match?

Alex is floored by this request, never having heard a combatant demand a restart to their title match even though they just retained the gold. With a sigh the official spins around and enters consultation with Thomas Boll.

Boll: Lady and gentle-folk…..Official Alex say match restart now.

The reaction bursts ear-drums the world over and threatens to send the roof off the Manhattan Centler.

Dollar: Did I just hear this right or have my ears gone crazy?

Suise: Whitman showing that he is not the spineless cowards Mr. Gaunt and so many others perceive him to be.

Dollar: He actually insisted that the X-Class Title bout be restarted after the interference of Brittany Lohan. I don’t think we’ve ever seen this type of chivalry from any member of the roster. Kudos Whitman….kudos.

Susie: Just as we lose faith in him, Whitman comes to his senses.

It takes every fiber of his being, but he hands the X-Class Title over to the official as the bell chimes in the background. Instead of going after Pearson, he lets her recuperate in the far corner. She is on her feet, holding her forehead and leaning heavily on the ropes as support. The official asks if she can continue, to which he gets a nod.

Kathryn then comes staggering out of the corner, almost losing her footing. The fact that she’s still upright is good enough for Whitman, who rushes out of the corner and delivers a back elbow to Pearson’s jaw, bringing her down to the canvas.

Clarence then falls down across her chest and hooks the leg.

Dollar: And this restarted match might be over with already.

Susie: Kathryn just has nothing left after being hit with that crowbar.

Ingelson makes the final count of the match.

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Apparently Pearson is far more resilient than anyone would ever perceive. She gets a shoulder out from under Whitman, whose jaw is on the floor and eyes are popping out of their sockets.

Dollar: Pearson has far more fight left in her than we thought.

Whitman is speechless, but not void of action. He drops across Kathryn’s sternum back first and hooks both legs this time, chalking up her last kick out as a mere muscle spasm.

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It was more than just a spasm, as Pearson gets a shoulder up again….remaining defiant

Susie: Pearson still clinging to her title ambition.

Dollar: Amazingly she is hanging in there, even after that shot with the crowbar Pearson is alive and kicking….kicking out.

Susie: We’ve already covered how much Kathryn went through in order to get this match…she can’t let all the hard-work be for not.

Dollar: And we’ve all seen how much that title means to Whitman….he cannot afford to lose it.

Whitman grabs Kathryn around the neck and painstakingly leads her along into the front chancery, about to connect with yet another DDT. But suddenly Kathryn springs to life, swinging out of the chancery and grabbing Whitman’s wrist in the process. She pulls him right into a short arm clothesline then goes staggering forward into the ropes. She falls against them and then waits as Whitman begins to rise to his feet. The moment he gets up, Kathryn rushes across the ring and dives into a flying forearm smash right between the eyeballs.

Kathryn then rolls across the ring to her feet with the aid of the turnbuckle, nodding her head repeatedly and cinching her fists. They shake out to her sides, her whole body trembling, her hair standing on end…..hives forming across her flesh.

Dollar: Pearson is finding that second wind….she’s digging down into the depths of her soul to summon that last vestige of strength.

Susie: This woman has got the world on their feet.

Kathryn continues to feed off the raw emotion from the fans, who are giving her the energy to keep on going in spite of everything she suffered. Finally she moves to put an end to Whitman who suddenly lifts his boot and drives it into her inbound shin. Kathryn is tripped forward, coming down face first into the raised knee of her lying opponent.

Dollar: Oh WOW….I don’t even know if that was intentional…

Susie: Pearson’s face bouncing right off of Whitman’s raised knee.

Dollar: And after a gruesome landing like that coupled with the shot from the crowbar, Pearson’s bell is rung and cracked.

In spite of the crowd’s undying support, Pearson could only tolerate so much. Whitman now feeds off the zeal from those in attendance, finding his last bits of energy remaining to get to his feet and grab a handful of hair. He pulls Pearson along to her knees and then applies a front chancery for yet another DDT.

This bout is on the verge of finally drawing to an end, though it might not be one everyone was anticipating. Whitman is just about to drop back into the DDT when the Cartel-tron springs to life with the feed zoomed in upon a locker featuring the name-plate “P Clarence Whitman III.”

Susie: What are we seeing here?

Dollar: That’s Whitman’s locker.

Clarence tilts his head as he watches the locker door opened by the very person operating the camera. Within said locker hangs Whitman’s brand new wedding tuxedo. Suddenly a bottle of alcohol comes into view, splashing the suit several times. The bottle is soon replaced by lighter.

Dollar: Oh-no….ooooooh-no.

Susie: What are they about to do to Whitman’s wedding tux?

The lighter produces a spark but is about to provide a much bigger ignition. It is tossed right into the tuxedo, sending it up into flames. Within the ring Whitman’s eyes are about to burst from their sockets, his mouth opening wider than a mountain tunnel.

Dollar: Their burning…their burning the suit!

Susie: The one thing Whitman was able to salvage from this night.

Whitman’s skin is without color…..looking as white a bed sheet in a blizzard. He shakes his head in total disbelief at the sight of his suit being reduced to ashes. The camera eventually turns from the source of Whitman’s misfortune to the smiling face of Lukas Montgomery.

Whitman: You’re welcome, Whitman…..that suit was way too tacky.

The feed cuts out after Lukas provides one final image of the flaming tuxedo. Back in the ring Whitman is in total disbelief….And it’s that moment of shock that allows Pearson to swing around out of the front chancery, grab Whitman/s wrist, lift her boot wedge it to Whitman’s chin, then drop back into the Cool It, Bitch!

Dollar: COUNTER into the COOL IT, BITCH!

The fans are hyperventilating at this point as the official drops into position at the same time Pearson is draping herself over Whitman’s chest.

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Dollar; Have we finally see enough damage done?

The answer is a definitive, yes. Whitman gets his shoulder up, but it’s too late. Pearson has managed to do it….to overcome all the obstacles in order to win the X-Class Championship…pulling off the miracles of all miracles.

Dollar: This isn’t a hallucination, you’re ears and eyes aren’t deceiving you…

Susie: After a long, arduous battle, Kathryn Pearson has just…well….pulled off the impossible.

The title that Whitman coveted so closely, is brought up to the recovering Pearson, the gold being forked over to the newly anointed champion. With hands shaking and a tear forming in the corner of her eye, Kathryn slowly reaches out and takes the first singles championship she’s won in her IWC career. The gold is draped over her arms, her weeping eyes reflected in the polished surface of the X-Class Title.

Dollar: After an unbelievable match, Kathryn Pearson has reached the end of the road.

Susie: And boy was that road ever a long one.

With the X-Class Title wrapped about her forearm, Pearson tries to stand up, yet finds herself weak kneed. Suddenly Ivy and Taylor Chase come sliding into the ring, surrounding Pearson and providing that last bit of strength she needs to reach her feet. They leap around excitedly as Kathryn lifts the gold high above her head.

Meanwhile Whitman has rolled to the exterior of the ring, dropping to the mats with his eyes vacant of soul…..drooping all the way to his chin. These very eyes reflect the face of Mr. Gaunt, who bends down before Whitman.

Mr. Gaunt: Congratulations, my Boy, your behavior tonight has shown the IWC is not beyond salvation. The Black Crusade have rendered its verdict, and now we will move to execute it.

The celebration continues within the ring and is only exacerbated when Chase and Knight heave Pearson up onto their shoulders. She then lifts the X-Class Championship on high.

Pearson: I DID IT! I DID IT!! I DID IT!!!

The fans start in with the same chant.

Dollar: Yes you did Kathryn, yes you did. After surviving two number one contenders matches and a performance from Whitman that has to be seen to be believed, here you are celebrating with the X-Class Championship.

This moment becomes all the more special for Pearson when through the curtains steps Marcus Mayfield. He is clapping his hands and winking in Kathryn’s direction, causing her heart to skip a beat and for her eyes to fill with glee.

Pearson: I DID IT! I DID IT!

Knight & Chase: SHE DID IT, SHE DID IT!

Dollar; What an emotional moment for Kathryn Pearson….

Susie: Congratulations Pearson, congratulations.

Matt: Brook! BROOK!

Ashley: PLEASE Gary, take it easy.

Matt is finally accepting help, although it only extends to the assistance of Ashley-Marie Chase, and only goes as far as allowing her to prop him up like a human crutch. The two move down the corridor with Gary’s legs repeatedly trying to cut out from under him.

Matt: We have to find her….

Ashley: We will Gary….we will. But you’re of no use to anyone like this.

Matt: This is all my fault.

Ashley: No it isn’t.

Matt: Don’t lie to me….I’m to blame for all of this.

The duo proceed down the corridor in search of Brooklyn when….

Mika: GARY!

Matt and Ashley look up to spot Mika Kozlov and Aaron Harrison standing a few inches down the corridor. Chase looks a bit panicked….realizing that there is no way Gary can put up a fight and that she can’t put up a valiant struggle either given that Matt is employing her as a crutch.

Mika: Relax, Sis, our quarrel isn’t with you.

Harrison: No….it’s with other members of your family.

Matt: Don’t even think about putting a finger on her.

Mika: We won’t….but we can’t say the same for her sister.

Matt: You mons….

Harrison: Now-now….relax, Gary. No need to get hostile. We come as friends….and we come baring gifts.

Harrison and Mika step away from one another and reveal Brooklyn Smith seated behind them strapped to a chair with a gag in her mouth.

Ashley: Oh my God, Brook!

Ashley loses her senses, letting Garry drop to his knees so she can rush past the Blacklist to the side of her best friend. She pulls the gag out of her mouth and now Smith can speak freely.

Brooklyn: Get me out of these straps so I can kill someone.

Ashley: I’m working on it….I’m working on it….damn sailor knots!

As Ashley struggles with the straps Gary struggles with what he’s seeing. From his knees he watches Harrison and Kozlov close in around him. They kneel beside Gary, who surprisingly doesn’t even lift a fist. Kozlov slides a hand onto Gary’s cheek and speaks into his ear.

Mika: Despite what Ba’al might lead you to believe, there are people who care about you.

Harrison: You’re not alone, Gary, you’re not alone.

A hand slaps Gary on the shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

FADE TO BLACK

QUICK RESULTS:

Bob def. Porno Lad via count-out

Marie Jones def. Lilly Lyman & Kordelia Price via pinfall

Katelyn Buehler def. Kordelia Price via pinfall

Cassidy Haze versus Ashley-Marie Chase ends in no contest

Brittany Lohan & Alana Starr def. Silverstone International via pinfall

Unity def. Blacklist via disqualification

Danny Darko def, Hurse via submission

Gary Matt & Brooklyn Smith def. End Effect via pinfall

P Clarence Whitman III def. Kathryn Pearson via pinfall

Kathryn Pearson def. P Clarence Whitman III via pinfall