The guerilla position is about as packed as a jar of olives. This thin stretch of corridor is crammed tighter than Ron Jeremy’s jock-strap. Every single member of both the IWC and the UWA rosters, are lined up and waiting. What for? The commentators answer that question, their voices superimposed over this imagery.
Greyson: We are live from the San Siro in Milan, Italy, the home of Last Stand.
Sparkles: Our first pay-per-view of 2016 and without a doubt one of the biggest events in wrestling.
Frankie: It’s bigger than my….
Greyson: Don’t you start, Frankie…
Frankie: If I did it would take me about three and a half hours to finish, just ask your sister.
Greyson: My sister died a long time ago.
Frankie: Yeah, well what do you think killed her….hahahaha.
Sparkles: Gentlemen-gentlemen PLEASE. You know it’s pretty bad when a pink puppet has to be the voice of reason.
Greyson: You’re right-you’re right let’s get back to the topic of Last Stand, where tonight we’ll be witnessing the annual Rumble bout.
Sparkles: Both the IWC Riot and the UWA brands come together under one umbrella, for the very last time, to compete against one another in the over the top rope Rumble with the winner moving on to challenge for the World Championship at Invictus or Olympus.
The camera remains fixed on all the members of both the IWC and UWA rosters anxiously idling about in anticipation of the massive opportunity just described by the commentators.
Greyson: There you see the talent that will be involved in this evening’s Rumble, and throughout the night each of these men and women will learn what spot they’ll be entering that match in.
Sparkles: Each of these competitors will discover their fate as they prepare for the 2016 Last Stand RUMBLE.
Frankie: Which of these mofos win tonight and move onto main event IWC INVICTUS or UWA OLYMPUS!?!
The opening video of Last Stand commences with the familiar theme music lifted from the hit television series the 6 Million Dollar Man. That’s not the only thing the audience hears, as a voice begins to speak over the images of head x-rays.
Voice: Gentlemen, we can build them, we have the technology, we have the capability to make the perfect Invictus or Olympus main eventer.
There are a bombardment of clips featuring a full body diagnostic scan interspersed between scenes of surgeons operating. The patient’s arm is being removed and now replaced with a cybernetic enhanced limb. This footage cuts away to show the recovered patient in a jump suit, straining to lift 300 pound weights.
Voice: Who will be that main eventer?
The footage cuts back to computer renderings of a body’s physiology being mapped out.
Voice: We need them to be better, stronger, faster.
There are a number of clips showing a body being dissected, the inner components replaced with mechanical devices. The footage then jumps to scenes of someone running on a treadmill, building up their cardio. The runner is developing such incredible speed that the treadmill almost breaks. Finally we see the face of this would-be track star, and it’s the face of Ryan Watson. The 6 Million Dollar Man theme song really kicks in at this point as the footage on the screen showcases competitor Johnny Kingdom running down a street with superhuman speed. The next image shows another famed IWC combatant, Andre Jordan lifting three times his own body weight as he powers a massive set of weights over his skull. Marina Valdivia is shown springing into the air with a cheesy sound effect that indicates that she’s achieved significant height on her leap. The next image features Lexy Chapel delivering a punch so powerful to the chest of a mugger that it sends them flying off camera.
Voice: Better, stronger, faster.
A wall comes crashing down as Selena Frost walks right through it like the whole thing were fabricated out of toilet paper. She breaks right on through to the other side with such little effort it would make Kool-Aide envious.
Voice: We will build a perfect Invictus or Olympus main eventer….
The audience gets another compilation of clips that show the human anatomy mapped out on a computer screen. Here’s an image of Julia Braddock catching a knife being tossed in her direction and then bending back the blade with her bare hands. The footage jumps to Riddick chugging beer, not out of a can, or a bottle, but out of a keg. He tips it back like it were weightless and then throws it back over his shoulder like it were as light as a feather.
Voice: Better, stronger, faster.
The 6 Million Dollar Man theme is wailing away at a louder decibel. There are even more scenes that depict robotic pieces being inserted beneath human flesh. Then there are shots of an obviously enhanced Danny Darko easily jumping over a car that is barreling in his direction, then landing in the exact same spot that he initiated his leap from. The next scene shows a burning building that Chris Davids comes moseying out of with arms weighed down by the six coughing victims he just rescued from the smoldering tomb.
Voice:….the perfect Invictus or Olympus main eventer….
The final clips show all those IWC competitors, be it from either the Uprising or the Riot brand, converging in the center most point of a laboratory. They draw closer and closer to a wrestling ring.
Voice: After all these enhancements, there is one final test to ensure we build a better, stronger, faster Invictus or Olympus main eventer….
All those grapplers shown in earlier scenes depicting their augmented abilities give one final display of their skills via being pitted against one another. The 6 Million Dollar Man theme is still playing in the background as we see Andre Jordan military press the body of Selena Frost above his head. We then see Selena tossed at Danny Darko, only to have him effortlessly leap into the air and over the body hurdling towards him. Riddick is featured throwing a beer keg with one arm at the face of Julia Braddock, his movements synchronized to 6 Million Dollar Man sound effects. Much like the knife Julia was shown catching earlier she simply nabs the keg out of the air. She then flattens that hundred pound plus keg between her hands. In another section of the ring Lexy Chapel is depicted giving such a powerful kick to Chris Davids that it actually lifts him off of his feet and sends him hurdling towards the camera.
Voice: Who will be the perfect Invictus or Olympus main eventer?
The show is go. The feed goes live to the interior of the San Siro stadium where the Italian crowd is letting out a roar loud enough that even Helen Keller would tell them to quiet down. The reception only gets louder when the fireworks go off around the set which has been designed to resemble an enormous doomsday clock. It is cycling down from ten to zero and then repeating the process over and over again. Beneath the clock there is a tumbler, filled with numbers to be selected throughout the evening by all set to participate in the Last Stand Rumble.
Sparkles: Here we go.
Frankie: In the words of my patron saint, Marvin Gaye, ‘let’s get it on.’
Greyson: Oh it’s on, Frankie, we’ve got TWO World Championship matches slated to go down tonight on top of a true survival of the fittest, the Last Stand Rumble.
Sparkles: We’ll find out who’s going to be defending the World Titles headed into Invictus and Olympus, and we’ll also find out who’s going to be challenging for one of those titles when the Rumble is done.
Frankie: Tonight is the most unpredictable night of the year. But let’s stop buttering it up like one of the eighty seven biscuits that gets shoved down Kevin James’ throat every hour to keep him from eating children, and let’s start this show.
Greyson: To do that we’re going to turn things over to our broadcast colleagues from the Uprising brand.
TINA VALENTINE © VS. ALANA STARR ©:
NO LIMITS TITLE & X-CLASS TITLE UNIFICATION
Hunter: Here we go then, it’s time for our first match of the evening, and what a way it is to kick off, a huge unification match that will see the No Limit’s title be no more, and one of these two ladies become the UWA X-Class Champion.
Mackie: It’s a match worthy of Main Eventing any PPV, as both these two have been on a tear of late.
Hunter: For sure…Alana has almost captured the world title on several occasions, and is the longest serving champion on the roster. Whereas Tina has been world champion, if only a co-holder, and has been a revelation as the No Limits belt holder.
The spotlight starts to shuffle through the entrance as the arena goes dark. Some huge red curtains drop down in the front of the entranceway and a carpet is rolled out. Suddenly the tunes of “I’m A Good Girl” by Christina Aguilera begins to play as suddenly 6 girls dressed in outlandish Burlesque lingerie out fits walk and starts to dance in the old tradition. The fans look on as the music continues….
The dress is Chanel, the shoes YSL
The bag is Dior, Agent Provocateaur
My address today, L.A. by the way
Above Sunset Strip, the Hills all the way
My rings are by Webster, they make their heads twirl
They all say “Darling, what did you do for those pearls?”
What?! I am a good girl….
The screen shows the word “Sexy GOOD” as the gorgeous Alana Starr walks out in her wrestling tights but wearing a burlesque jacket and hat followed by Ethan von Aaron in a tux and top hat with a cane, the two dance for a moment on stage before he bends her backwards and plants a huge kiss on her. Holding hands the two make their way to the ring as the Burlesque dancers continue to dance on the stage as the GOOD Couple walk together hand in hand as the theme continues to play…..
B.H. I adore, Rode-O L’amore
Breakfast Polo Lounge, and poolside for sure
The Chateau for cocktails, the Courtyard at nine
Dan Tana’s for dinner, the Helen’s* divine
You know I have found, the word’s gone around
They all say my feet never do touch the ground
What?! I am a good girl….
Alana and Ethan get to the ring; he helps her to the mat and then holds the ropes open for her to enter the ring. The GOOD Girl dances a little and poses in the middle of the ring stretching her arms out allowing Ethan the chance to take off her jacket and hat. She smiles at Ethan and kisses him again before climbing the ropes and flipping into a standing moonsault. She smiles at the crowd as Ethan applauds waiting for the match to start as the theme starts to fade……
You know I have found, the word’s gone around
They all say my feet never do touch the ground
What?! I am a good girl….
I am a good girl!
Hunter: Alana Starr is the only person who tonight won’t have to draw her number from on the stage as she is scheduled to be the final competitor entering the Rumble
Mackie: And regardless, that is a huge advantage, especially after what will have been a difficult match here
Hunter: If anyone is capable it’s her…especially with Ethan having her back
”One Step Closer” by Linkin Park hits the airwaves and the crowd boos once Tina Valentine appears on the stage. Tina just scoffs at the reaction that she’s getting as she starts to make her way down the ramp, more focused than she has ever been to attain what she feels belongs to her. Her eyes continue to be locked on the ring the closer she gets to it. She gets in that ring, displaying a heightened sense of arrogance while doing so. She climbs to the top rope to soak in even more boos from the fans that can’t stand the sight of her and she adds to it by giving them a few seconds of lip service before getting down to the mat and focusing on the task ahead, shrugging off Alana who says something inaudible to her
Hunter: It’s been a rough few weeks for Tina, she’s lost all the people that cared about her and it looks like now more than ever before she stands alone.
Mackie: That rant from Myra was unacceptable; it was nothing short of a public flogging
Hunter: You mean a little like what Tina did to Kloe?
Mackie: No, because Kloe asked for it
Hunter: And Tina hasn’t? Don’t get me wrong she has all the talent in the world but as a woman, sometimes her actions are unbelievable. She needs to calm down, and focus on her career, before it’s all taken away from her.
Tina looks out over the crowd, resting on the ring ropes and shaking her head at her reaction. She then turns to face Alana, who smirks as the bell rings.
Hunter: This is it then, Unification Match with the X-Class and No Limits titles on the line.
The two women walk to the center of the ring, both of them talking to each other, obviously continuing the tirades that have gone on between the two of them over the past year. Tina nods her head as Alana speaks, and then Tina takes a turn, pushing Alana away from her. Starr explodes with a huge knife edge chop, and then another, before grabbing Tina’s wrist and whipping her towards the ropes. As Tina returns, Alana goes to lock in her head, but Tina slips out and lands a right hand of her own. A second right is blocked by Alana, who then lifts her knee, Tina dodging out the way and avoiding the impact. Alana spins around and evades a Crescent Kick from Tina, Alana grabbing the leg and then sweeping Valentine’s standing leg, Tina falling to the canvas. Alana then drops to the canvas, pulling back on Tina’s ankle.
Mackie: Ankle Lock from Alana Starr, slowing the match down early after that quite flurry of action.
Hunter: But Tina is already reaching for the ropes.
Alana has the Ankle Lock in tight but simply by moving her position Tina is able to grab the bottom strand, the referee telling Alana to break the hold. Alana, perhaps predictably, doesn’t do it straight away, and the referee has to count
1…
2…
3…
4…
At four Alana let’s go, and Tina immediately jumps to her feet, Alana running in with a Clothesline which Tina ducks under, pulling the top strand down and Alana almost going over the top rope. She puts on the breaks however and as Tina turns around, Alana leaps in the air and grabs the back of Tina’s head, dropping her jaw onto the top of her shoulder
Hunter: Stunner from Alana and here’s the count
1…
Tina kicks out almost immediately, and rolls out the ring and to the outside. Ethan walks around, and mocks her, as Alana sits on the second strand inviting her in.
Hunter: This is where Tina would normally have someone to go to for advice, but she’s all alone right now
Mackie: Tina is going to be fine, don’t you worry about her.
Tina walks around the ring and then gets in on the opposite site. Straight away the pair of them ties up, jostling for position, until it is Alana than pins Tina in the corner. The referee breaks it up, and as he does, Tina goes for a cheap shot, but Alana sees it coming a mile off, evading it easily. As the referee spins around to Tina to admonish her, Alana slams a huge forearm into her face, sending her back into the corner, before leaping up and with her feet on Tina’s thighs, falls backwards and flips her over and into the center of the ring. Alana then nips up onto the second rope and leaps from that position, landing with a leg drop across Tina’s chest. Immediately she grabs the leg and pulls it towards her, the referee moving in to count.
1…
Tina gets her shoulder up, Alana nipping up and helping her to her feet, before spinning around and whipping her hard into the corner. She then runs in, looking for a Splash, but Tina nips out of the way, Alana landing face first on the turnbuckle covering. As Tina goes to grab her wrist, Alana shrugs her off, and then rakes her across the eyes, Tina struggling to see. Alana then grabs her wrist and whips her into the ropes, scooping Tina up on her return and slamming her into the mat.
Hunter: Scoop Slam from the X-Class Champion, Alana Starr at the moment the aggressor in this match.
Mackie: This match is obviously not under No Limit’s rules, and I think Tina is struggling because of that
Hunter: Are you saying that she is only a hardcore wrestler now?
Mackie: Not at all, but it’s been all that she is used to recently.
Alana picks up Tina again, but this time it is Tina who slips away, bouncing off the ropes and crashing into Alana with a Body Block. Alana staggers but doesn’t go down, so Tina runs, hitting the ropes and then jumping in the air, her foot striking the back of Alana’s head and sending her through the ropes and to the outside. The place erupts in jeers as Tina stands in the middle of the ring with her arms aloft, as Ethan helps Alana to her feet
Hunter: That Jumping Enziguri from Tina Valentine has evened up this match, and now it’s Alana taking some time out
Mackie: That’s the thing with Tina Valentine, she can strike from anywhere, and Alana will have to watch for that.
Alana slides back into the ring, and straight away Tina is on her, stomping her in the kidneys as she tries to get up. Tina lifts Alana up and throws her arm over her shoulder, before trying to lift her into a Suplex. Starr blocks the attempt however, putting her leg between Tina’s, and then goes for one her, lifting her up. Tina however slides behind her, and grabbing Alana’s hair falls backwards, slamming her into the mat. Tina then heads towards the turnbuckle, ignoring Ethan Von Aaron who tries to distract her, and climbs to the very top. But Alana gets to her feet, Tina leaping over her as she comes running into the corner. Alana spins around, giving Tina the opportunity to kick her in the stomach, before hooking in her head. She then leaps up onto the second rope, and using the spring from them, spins around Alana’s body and drives her head into the canvas. The fans jump to their feet, not in appreciation, but to give Tina even more boos.
Hunter: I can’t believe that Alana Starr is actually the fan favorite here…Tina really is that hated by these fans right now.
Ethan gets up onto the apron, and the referee heads him off, telling him to get down. Tina picks Alana up, and with her arm around her neck, spins around, driving Alana into the mat
Mackie: Swinging Neck breaker from Tina Valentine, and there’s the pin
1…
2…
Alana kicks out at two to a tremendous ovation from the crowd. Tina however goes immediately for another pin
1…
2…
Alana kicks out again, Tina pulling Alana to her feet and bouncing off the ropes, spinning around and landing a right hand on Starr’s jaw.
Hunter: Discus Punch from Valentine, Starr is down
Tina motions that it’s over, and drops down, hooking the leg
1…
2…
Alana Starr kicks out again, Ethan sighing with relief at ringside. Tina gets to her feet and shows the referee three fingers, the referee predictably responding with two. Behind Tina, Alana reaches up and pulls Valentine into a small package
1…
Tina kicks out, Alana rolling backwards and to her feet. Tina goes running it but Alana is quicker, and leaps in the air, catching Tina on the chin with a Spinning Hell Kick. Tina hits the floor and Alana quick as a flash gets to her feet, leaping in the air and landing with a Leg Drop across Valentine’s chest. She stands, and then leaps again, landing a second leg drop. With a look out over the crowd, she puts three fingers in the air and then leaps a third time, a third leg drop landing on Tina’s chest. Alana scrunches her nose up at Ethan who blows her a kiss, Alana dropping down into the cover
1…
2…
Tina kicks out, Alana looking more than a little confused. She lifts a dazed Valentine to her feet, and lifts her up onto her shoulder, standing there for a few seconds before dropping her down onto her knee, and allows her to drop to the apron
Hunter: Fireman’s Carry Gut Buster from Alana, Tina’s in trouble here.
Mackie: And there’s the cover
1…
2…
Tina kicks out again, Alana screaming in annoyance, as she picks Tina up once again and whips Valentine into the corner. She walks to the opposite side and then runs in, somersaulting into a headstand and then springing into the corner. Tina however nips out the way, and the splash from Starr is unsuccessful, and before Alana can recover, Tina grabs the back of her head and bring it forwards, before falling back onto the mat, driving her face into her knees
Hunter: Out of nowhere, the double knee face buster has levelled Alana Starr. Is her X-Class Championship reign over?
Tina rolls over and drapes her arm over Alana’s chest, the referee dropping into position.
1…
2…
Alana Starr to the delight of the fans, and indeed her husband Ethan, finding a way to kick out of the pin and save the match. Tina’s face contorts as she literally drags Alana to her feet, and raises her hand
Hunter: This is it, Valentine’s Heartbreak…she hits this, we are over
Tina leaps in the air, but Alana shifts her weight and falls forwards, pinning Tina’s shoulders to the mat
1…
2…
Tina kicks out just in time, but Alana leaps in the air, and lands with a fist, which smashes into Tina’s face, Once again she covers
1…
2…
3…
No, Tina kicks out at the last possible moment, the fans looking on in disbelief. Alana picks Tina up and bails her into the ropes, looking for a drop kick but Valentine grabs the ropes, stopping her from rebounding. Alana jumps to her feet, just as music hits over the PA system, Tina staring up the ramp with horror as Callista Christos appears
Hunter: Oh my God, Christos is finally going to take her pound full of flesh on Tina Valentine.
Tina stares at Callista, not knowing what to say, but Alana runs in and bounces off the ropes, stepping up onto Tina’s chest. Tina cannot react in time, and Alana’s foot smashes into the back of Valentines head, cleaning her out. On the ramp, Christos simply laughs, nodding her head, before heading back
Mackie: What the hell?
Hunter: Christos was just playing games, Alana takes advantage of that…and here’s the cover
1…
2…
3…
The San Siro erupts, Alana rolling out the ring and into Ethan’s arms. Ethan kisses her, and then runs over to the announce table, picking up both the X-Class and No Limit’s title belts. He places both of them on her shoulders, and then they both back up the ramp, as Tina Valentine starts to come to. Tina stands up, and looks at the referee, only now realizing what has happened. She then looks up the ramp, Ethan and Alana stood, Alana now holding both titles aloft.
Hunter: Alana Starr has done it; she has unified the titles and is officially the UWA X-Class Champion. The longest reign continues here tonight, Alana Starr beating Tina Valentine
Mackie: Alana was in charge, she had the momentum in this match, but Callista Christos with the distraction was the defining moment.
Hunter: Cannot argue with that, but now, can Alana use that momentum to come away with the World title shot as well
Tina is holding her head in her hands in disbelief. Her eyes widen, as Roar hits over the PA system, and her former mentor, Kloe Masters appears at the top of the ramp.
Mackie: Oh my fucking God…Kloe Masters is here, and listen to that ovation
Hunter: She was one of the most hated women on the roster…but right now she is the most loved. And look at Tina’s face; she cannot believe what she is seeing.
Kloe smiles, and lifts a mic to her lips.
Kloe: Oh dearie, dearie me…funny how things turn out isn’t it? See, on one hand, I get my ass handed to me on a silver platter, but end up being happier than I have in year, spending time with my children without having to listen to your mindless witterings, and on the other you’ve lost EVERYTHING, even the woman that you put your faith in, and cast me to the side for
Tina: I don’t need this Kloe…
Kloe: I don’t give a shit if you need it or not. I didn’t NEED dropping on my head, but heck that happened. See, the thing is, I’m still in contract to the IWC, and am until the 1st of March, and Mr Helms, well, let’s just say that he’s not that enamored with you at the moment either, after your little twitter spat. So, between us, we decided…a Gauntlet for you to keep your job, it’s not really that fair is it?
Tina looks up the ramp, confused.
Kloe: Oh, no need to look confused Tina…I’ve always done what is best for you…it’s what I do. No, there won’t be a Gauntlet, and you won’t be fighting for your job. No, on the very first edition of Outbreak, you’ll be fighting for your life when you face off against…CALISTA CHRISTOS!!!
Hunter: Oh my God, it just gets worse and worse for Tina Valentine, now she has to face up to her demons…all thanks to Kloe Masters
Kloe waves at Tina who is simply in shock, before leaving through the curtain, leaving a horrified Tina in the ring.
After the red hot action in the ring it’s time for the IWC to TRY and cool things down a little, though that’s the equivalent of trying to stop molting lava with a bucket of water. Cameras cut to the stage where the tumbler that was seen at the start of the show remains, though it’s now joined on the set by two of the most powerful and influential figures in the IWC. On one side of the tumbler stands the Uprising, soon to be UWA, brand General Manager David Helms, on the other side there’s Riot show runner Karen McBride. The stage isn’t the only thing these two share, because they also share a mutual distrust of one another. A distrust that only deepens the longer these competitors spend time together.
Greyson: Well it looks like commentating duties are being turned back over us Riot guys.
Frankie: The only ones who SHOULD be calling the action this evening.
Greyson: Speaking of action, we just saw a tremendous bout in the ring to start off our Last Stand pay-per-view, and coming to the stage are two people responsible for booking that match and so much more still to come this evening.
Sparkles: Principle Owner and Riot GM Karen McBride is side by side with UWA GM David Helms for the first time in either of their storied careers. And what brings them together is that tumbler on the set that will be used by their respective rosters to select spots in the Rumble.
Frankie: I’m surprised Helms can handle the stench. McBride smells worse than lutefisk wrapped in limburger cheese.
Greyson: Oh you just say that because McBride has imposed strict sanctions on your friends in Monarchy.
Frankie: No, I say it because McBride walks around smelling like month old gym socks that were used to treat a yeast infection.
Greyson: That’s about enough of that. We’re not here to listen to your biased opinions of McBride, who is simply doing her best to stop the most power hungry group in the IWC. I applaud McBride for standing up to the Monarchy, and I also commend David Helms for the work he’s been doing over on the Uprising brand since being named their General Manager.
Sparkles: He’s done a real bang up job, even though he won’t return any of my fan mail.
Greyson: If you would stop sending him pairs of your underwear I’m sure Helms would be more inclined to respond.
There is only one thing on Helms’ mind right now, and it sure as hell isn’t Sparkles’ undergarments.
Helms: What’s up to all the players here in MILLLLLAAAN ITALLLLY!!??!!
The fans are almost frothing at their mouths like Cujo when seeing some of that sweet-sweet Dee Wallace.
Helms: Judging by that match you just saw (points to the ringside area where Ethan Von Aaron and Alana Starr are celebrating while Tina Valentine bemoans all that just befell her), the bar is already right here (holds his outstretched hand over his head), and it’ll keep getting higher and higher and higher (his hand keeps elevating) the closer we get to the RUMBLE. THE most important match in the careers of everyone who competes as part of my UWA roster, and as part of McBride’s IWC roster….
Karen: That’s because the winner gets an opportunity unlike any other. The opportunity to go to IWC Invictus or UWA Olympus and compete in a historic main event against their respective company’s World Champion.
McBride got her words in right before her voice could be drowned out by the screaming fans.
Helms: But it’s not going to be an opportunity that comes easy. A chance this HUGE is going to take a HUGE effort to earn it.
Karen: Two competitors will start the Rumble, and every two minutes after another will enter until 20-30-maybe even FORTY, who knows how many have entered the ring. Eliminations occurring via being thrown over that top rope with both your feet smacking the floor.
Helms: Until there is one…Just one person left in that ring (points to the very ring that Ethan Von Aaron and Alana are celebrating outside of). A person who instantly becomes the envy of every single wrestler world-wide. Because that fortunate son of a bitch…or daughter of a bitch…goes to IWC Invictus, or UWA Olympus to challenge for the World Title.
Karen: Alright-alright-alright already, I think we’ve bored them enough with facts they already know. Let’s get to why we’re out here. (Pats her hands on the tumbler at her side) In this tumbler are a lot of things that my colleague David Helms is very familiar with…tiny balls.
Helms: (Chuckling) For once there not the type of tiny balls you find constantly being inserted into Mrs. McBride’s mouth.
Karen: (Smiling) So that’s how it’s going to be?
Helms: You started it.
Karen: In those balls are numbers, and those numbers are the spots that the guys and girls competing in the Rumble will enter at.
Helms: Speaking of those guys and girls, we’ve left them waiting long enough haven’t we? Let’s start bringing them on out here and let’s have them draw their numbers. What do you say, McBride?
Karen: By all means.
Helms: Alrighty then, I know there’s one guy back there itching to find out what spot he’ll be coming in at. So the first person I’m inviting out is a member of my roster, aaaaand a personal favorite of yours truly to win tonight’s Rumble….
Karen rolls her eyes.
Helms: CHRIS BY GAHD DAVIDS!
The response is one of biblical proportions for the great Chris Davids. It’s like God himself parted the crowd and hurdled a lightning bolt right into the middle of the San Siro stadium. The fans are absolutely electrified at the image of a smiling Davids lunging through the curtains and to the stage.
Greyson: Chris Davids, an absolutely TREMENDOUS in ring talent, and a potential Rumble winner tonight.
Sparkles: Sparkles has missed seeing Jesus ever since he was drafted over to the Uprising brand.
Greyson: Where his career has been on a definite upswing. It was just a few months ago that we saw him take World Champion Vanilla Skyy to her breaking point.
Frankie: Pfft…yeeeeaaah, he gave Skyy a challenge alright. But Chris has a problem, a serious medical problem actually.
Greyson: What’s that?
Frankie: Choke-itus. It’s a condition suffered by guys like Davids and by any woman who goes down on me.
Greyson: Well hopefully it’s not a condition that flares up tonight. The Rumble is the chance of a lifetime for Chris, a chance for him to get one more shot at Skyy and that World Championship.
Chris has the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like his skin were made of chocolate ice-cream. Right now that hand is inching closer and closer to the tumbler that has so many numbers tucked away inside. But Chris suddenly gets reluctant to take one of them. Although Helms has the door opened to the tumbler, Chris isn’t reaching through it and he isn’t doing what brought him to the stage. Yes his fingers reach for the numbers but they keep pulling back. He won’t pick until he’s found the PERFECT ball that presumably holds the PERFECT number.
Helms: (Irritated) Would you just pick already!
Chris doesn’t reach for a ball, he reaches for his heart.
Chris: Fine-fine….
Now he’s putting his palms out towards Helms before finally putting one of those palms in the tumbler. He pulls out a ball, pops it open and with shaking fingers extracts the number inside. As he unfolds the paper said number is written on he’s holding it as far away from his body as possible. He nervously closes his eyes, unwilling to read what he’s selected.
Helms: Well?
Chris: You….you do it.
Although Helms feigns aggravation, he’s quietly amused by all of this. In an indignant manner he snatches the paper from between Davids’ fingers, reads it and then whispers a number to his roster member. Whatever he just told Davids has the performer looking like he just heard that the Miz was burned on top of a stack of Santa’s Little Helper DVDs. He not only smiles on his way to the back but shows further excitement by leaping into the air and clicking his heels together.
Karen: He looked happy.
Helms: He looks like he just saw Meagan Fox bending over to pick up a pencil.
Karen: But ya know what, he’s not gonna be very happy when a member of MY roster tosses him over the top rope in route to winning the Rumble.
Helms: Confident aren’t we?
Karen: You would be too if you had guys like the one I’m about to invite out here on your roster. It’s time now for a member of the Riot brand to come out and choose their number. So without further….
Ethan: Hold that thought A-Cup.
It’s not someone coming from the back that marches to the stage in order to draw their number, it’s someone who is coming from the ring. Ethan Von Aaron is still supporting an exhausted Alana Starr after her grueling confrontation with Tina Valentine, but before he could get her backstage he just had to stop and just had to hear the sound of his own voice.
Ethan: You know aaaaalll of this (points to the tumbler, McBride and Helms) it’s all grade A Bull….
Alana: (Growling) Laaaaanguuaaage.
Ethan: Grade A BOLOGNA! All this drawing numbers brouhaha is about as pointless as porn without bush shots. Cause it don’t matter who enters the Rumble, and it don’t matter what spot there in. There’s only one person competing in tonight’s Rumble destined to win it, and she already knows what number she’s coming in at. Ain’t that right, puddin’-pop?
Puts a finger under Alana’s chin and strokes it. And if there’s one thing Ethan possesses a talent for, it’s stroking things.
Ethan: She’s got the last spot and the only spot that matters.
Helms: You know Ethan, you’re slated to compete in the Rumble tonight as well. Soooo what’s going to happen if you and Alana are the final two in the ring?
Ethan: I’ll pull a Leo and let her have the entire door even though I KNOW I could fit my slim ass on it right beside her. I’ll gladly sacrifice myself for my wife. Cause I’m a chivalrous….honorable….noble….
A smirk SETS on Alana’s face while her body SETS off towards the backstage area. Although she’s walking off Ethan is staying put. He keeps watching her leave, tilting his head to make sure she’s made it entirely through the curtains and is out of range to hear him.
Ethan:….respectful…(looking even closer at the curtains that closed behind Alana’s back)….quick (turning to Helms). Let me draw my number.
He snaps his fingers in order to speed the whole process up. Although Helms doesn’t take kindly to being ordered about, he still turns the tumbler before finally opening it. Ethan all but shoves Helms out of the way in order to grab his number. His hand shoots into the tumbler but…..
Orlando: Don’t go worrying needlessly about the Rumble….
Ever heard Italian curse words? Well you do right now. There are about a thousand of them directed at Orlando Cruze as he comes waltzing on out from the back. Riot Principle Owner Karen McBride is frowning fiercely at the sight of this Monarchy member crashing the proceedings. Much like Cruze and fellow stable-mates have done the past few months he disrupts the show. Ethan wishes he had heat ray vision as his eyes focus on the Phenom.
Orlando: Because if your brain wasn’t so poisoned after years and years of abusing every hair care product known to man, you would realize that you’re not going to make it through your Last Man Standing match against moi later tonight. So don’t even fret about the Rumble or where you’ll be entering it.
Ethan: (Folding arms over his stomach, kicking back his head and laughing about as fake as he possibly can) HAHAHAHAHAHA. Lando-Lando-Lando, I swear man, you need your own laugh track, because you are soooo an early nineties sitcom.
Orlando: I don’t even want to know what the hell you mean by that. And we all know the only sitcom you watched back in the nineties was Full House.
Greyson: Ethan Von Aaron and Orlando Cruze battling it out with words.
Sparkles: But later tonight they’ll be killing each other in a Last Man Standing bout.
Frankie: Whoa-WHOA…..is there something wrong with being a fan of Full House?
Ethan: (Looking deadly serious) You know what Lando (taking a few threatening steps towards Cruze), you can insult me, you can insult my legacy, but I’ll be damned if I let you slander Full House! That is….that is….SO RUDE!
Orlando is literally taken aback by this statement.
Orlando: I didn’t come out here to talk sitcoms with you, I came out here to remind you that later tonight I’m going to end what’s left of your career, AAAANND to draw my spot in the Rumble. Cause unlike you, I’ll actually be able to compete in it after our Last Man Standing bout is done. (Swinging the back of his fingers towards Ethan) So kindly step back so that I can get this out of the way.
Although his hand starts towards the tumbler he never gets a chance to reach inside of it. Ethan grabs him by the wrist and holds tight to it.
Ethan: No way Jose…..(Orlando rips his wrist free)…I’m not letting you upstage me in our Last Man Standing match later tonight and I’m not letting you upstage me right now. I’M drawing my number.
Ethan makes a grab for the tumbler but he pulls back an empty hand. Orlando prevents him from making his selection.
Orlando: CUT…IT…OUT! (Yes Orlando even pantomimes cutting through the air like his fingers were scissors) I’M going to pick my number and there’s not anything you can do about it….
Ethan: You’re in big trouble, mister! (Wagging his finger in Orlando’s face) You know what? Why are we waiting till the Last Man Standing match to settle our problems? How about we do this thing, and do it right now?
Orlando: You got it, dude.
Ethan: Have mercy.
The comment is punctuated by a punch that drills Ethan right across his jaw. Ethan responds with a knee to the Phenom’s bread basket. A side headlock is latched onto Orlando’s neck and the submission is employed to drag him down the ramp. Uprising GM David Helms looks over the tumbler at Karen McBride, and the two simultaneously shrug.
Helms: Fine….get a ref out here!
ORLANDO CRUZE VS. ETHAN VON AARON:
LAST MAN STANDING
Hunter: Finally we are here, a match that possibly everyone has been waiting for…Ethan certainly has
Mackie: For sure, Ethan has wanted this match ever since Orlando had the audacity to ‘pass the torch’ to someone other than him…wasn’t it Axl Evermore?
Hunter: I believe so. I’m sure many people thought this would never happen, but finally, it’s on, Ethan von Aaron and Orlando Cruze brawling it out right from the very start.
Mackie: Just to clarify, this is Last Man Standing, you have to put your opponent down for a ten count, and literally anything goes. Your opponent can’t get up before ten, he loses
It doesn’t take long for the fight that started on the ramp to reach the squared circle. Once inside Ethan slams Orlando with a right hand, and then another, before drop kicking him into the ropes. Ethan runs in, looking for a body block but Orlando explodes with a Clothesline which almost takes Ethan over and into a somersault. Orlando leaps in the air, and misses with a leg drop, and as Orlando sits up Ethan drop kicks him in the face laying him out. Ethan then leaps onto the ropes and springboards backwards, landing across Orlando with a Lionsault. He gets to his feet, and hurls abuse in Orlando’s face, before laying across the ropes and mocking the Icon. Orlando gets to his feet, and stretches out his neck, Ethan sliding off the ropes as Orlando runs in. Orlando throws a punch which Ethan ducks underneath, and nips behind him, slapping Orlando across the back of the head. Orlando turns and tries again, this time Ethan doing a matrix like maneuver to get out of the way. Orlando tries a boot, but again Ethan side steps, Orlando then lunges forwards and missing again, before spinning around, Ethan landing a huge right hand, Orlando falling backwards and into the ropes, tying himself up leaving him helpless.
Hunter: Orlando try as he might can’t land anything, Ethan just too quick for him
Mackie: That was some Jackie Chan shit right there
Ethan slaps Orlando around the face, and then again. Orlando tries to escape, and then pulls the time keeper off his chair, and throws the chair in the ring.
Hunter: Ethan looking to end this early, and at the moment Orlando cannot get out the ropes
Ethan lifts the chair, and walks towards Orlando, the referee finally releasing him just in time for him to boot Ethan in the gut, Ethan dropping the chair. In one swift move, Orlando hooks him around the head and falls backwards, driving Ethan’s head into the steel chair.
Mackie: From out of nowhere, the DDT on the steel chair…wow
Orlando points to Ethan and the referee starts to count.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
Ethan pulls himself towards the rope and up right, Orlando immediately steaming in and clotheslining him over the top rope and to the outside, Ethan landing hard. Orlando slides out the ring and motions once again, the referee starting the count
1…
2…
3…
4…
Ethan gets up on the apron, Orlando grabbing the back of his head and looking to slam his head into the steel turnbuckle post. He runs towards it, but Ethan lifts his foot, pressing it against the turnbuckle and stopping, before spinning around and driving his knee into Orlando’s stomach. Orlando bends over in agony and Ethan hooks him around the head, using the apron as leverage he nips up and spins around, driving Orlando’s head into the arena floor
Hunter: Ooohhh, what a shot from Ethan, Tornado DDT onto the concrete, Orlando is out!!!
1…
2…
3…
4…
Orlando starts to stir, holding his head he pulls himself up on the steps. Ethan runs across the apron and leaps, landing a Famasser across the back of Orlando’s neck, driving his face into the steps
Mackie: Huge shot from Ethan Von Aaron, Orlando once again laid out on the canvas
1…
2…
3…
Ethan turns to the crowd, pointing at Orlando
Ethan: THAT’S your Icon…really? I’m the mutha fucking Icon baby.
4…
5…
6…
Orlando is somehow up again, Ethan steaming in and slamming into Orlando, knocking him up and over the security barricades and into the crowd.
Hunter: They are getting up and personal with the fans here and Orlando at the moment not sure where he is.
Ethan picks Orlando to his feet and lands a right hand, Orlando reacting with one of his own which staggers Ethan, but not enough to stop him from going for a kick to the stomach. Orlando catchers his foot however but Ethan is way to kick, spinning around and catching Orlando with a mule kick. Orlando hits the floor hard, and starts crawling towards the exit. Ethan mocks him some more, laughing at Orlando’s predicament.
Hunter: Ethan well and truly in control, and he knows it Dave
Mackie: Ethan’s quickness has been a major difference thus far, Orlando needs to find a way to combat that.
Orlando pulls himself on the exit door, turning around to see where Ethan is just in time for Ethan to run and cut him in half with a Spear out of nowhere, the shot sending Orlando and Ethan crashing through the exit and into the corridor.
1…
2…
3…
Ethan: Come on Lando, give it up
4…
Orlando tries to pull himself up on a window ledge
5…
He gets his legs underneath him, and although unsteady the referee stops the count.
Ethan: If you would excuse me babe…
Ethan grabs the back of Orlando’s head and smashes it through the glass window, the glass splintering around them. For a moment Ethan just leaves Orlando there, his body resting on the windows ledge, but then he grabs the back of his neck and pulls him backwards, slamming his spine and the back of his head onto the concrete
Ethan: Count him
The referee moves in, Ethan smiling once again as he stands over the broken Orlando Cruze.
1…
2…
Hunter: Surely that’s enough…surely
3…
4…
Orlando rolls onto his back, and for the first time we see the damage caused by the window, blood seeping down his face
Hunter: Orlando busted open after that window shot, and Ethan looking very pleased
Mackie: So he should, he’s dominated this match thus far
5…
6…
7…
Orlando sits up, Ethan’s eyes widening, even more so as he puts his legs underneath him, and gets to his feet. Ethan runs across the corridor, but Orlando meets him, ducking under his right hand and placing a hand across his chest lifts him, before dropping him spine first across the windows ledge. Ethan seems to bounce off the ledge and through the window’s opening, and into the backstage catering area.
Hunter: Did you see that? The angle of his spine on impact…he could have just broken his back right there.
Mackie: Desperation move from Orlando, but effective…what a shot
Orlando is on his knees, and pulls himself to a vertical base, ignoring the comments from the fans. The referee moves in position and starts to count
1…
2…
3…
Ethan starts to move, his hand going to his back that is obviously damaged
4…
5…
6…
With some effort, and a grimace as he tries to ignore the pain, Ethan pulls himself up using a table that has a variety of cakes on it. Just as he does it, Orlando climbs through the window, and grabs him by the hair. He pulls him up and then wraps him up around the waist, lifting him upside down and into a Suplex, delaying him there.
Hunter: What strength from Orlando…this has to be destroying his back here.
Orlando finally completes the move, Suplexing him straight through the table of cakes
Mackie: Whoa…all that cake wastage, Rachel Tatum Lee would be pissed if she was here. Imagine the look on Greg Cherry’s face right now if he worked for us.
Orlando takes his finger, and wipes some of the cream off Ethan’s face
Orlando: Nice…count him.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
Ethan starts to stir, and crawls away from the carnage, Orlando stalking him and waiting for an opportunity.
6…
Ethan reaches the wall, and starts to pull himself up
7…
8…
9…
He gets to his feet, the crowd going absolutely ballistic. Orlando isn’t too pleased either, and he runs in, looking to dive his knee into Ethan’s already damaged spine. In his haste however, he doesn’t see Ethan unhook the fire extinguisher that he had used to pull himself up, and he spins around, slamming the full extinguisher into the side of Orlando’s head. For a moment Orlando looks stunned, but then he pretty much collapses to the floor, Ethan only just being kept upright by leaning on the wall. The whole of the catering area seems stunned by what they have just seen; the whole arena is also in totally shock.
Hunter: Orlando must have thought he had that with the Suplex, but Ethan ever the opportunist has once again pulled something out of the bag
Mackie: There is no way that Orlando Cruze isn’t unconscious right now…no way.
Hunter: Here’s the count…
1…
2…
3…
There is no mocking from Ethan this time, as he concentrates on staying upright himself
4…
5…
Amazingly, Orlando starts to move, and he reaches for the coke machine to try and get up.
6…
7…
8…
Orlando somehow gets to his feet, the fans in the arena showing their appreciation with a Lando chant.
Hunter: This is an unreal performance from these two individuals
Mackie: That’s why they are known as legends Paul, right here in the twilights of their careers they are still giving everything.
Ethan pushes himself from the wall as Orlando stands with his back resting on the coke machine. Orlando doesn’t even seem to have the first clue where he is, and Ethan knows that. He fires off his Super kick, the Epic Fail, which would have won this match no doubt…had it hit. Orlando gets out of the way at the last possible moment, Ethan’s super kick going straight through the glass, his foot jamming in the shelves.
Hunter: Ethan is stuck, but Orlando is out of it, he can’t take advantage
Ethan pulls his leg back, and then even more vigorously his foot coming free and Ethan falling to the floor. However he brings the machine with him and it topples over, narrowly avoiding Ethan by inches.
Hunter: Ethan and Coke Machines just don’t go together
Mackie: He got out the way, but both these man are down, exhausted.
Hunter: And don’t forget Dave, both are scheduled to compete later on tonight in the Last Stand Rumble.
Mackie: Not a chance…these two are dead on their feet, it’s not going to happen.
Orlando picks Ethan up to his feet, and pretty much bails him through a doorway, which finds them in another corridor. The pair of them trade right hands, neither of them even bothering to block now, each shot finding a home. They fight though another doorway, Ethan ducking under a shot and lifting Orlando, dropping him with an Atomic Drop that see’s Orlando falling into the Gorilla Position backstage, plenty of the wrestler stood around and watching.
Ethan: See, this is how you put on a show. I’m even dragging this sorry son of a bitch to a decent match.
Ethan picks Orlando up to his feet, but Orlando slams his head into Ethan’s face, his eyes watering on impact and temporally blinding him. Orlando then lifts him up, and carries him through the curtain, the fans exploding with noise as they appear, Orlando dropping Ethan onto the top of the staging with a brutal power bomb. Ethan lies on the stage, his arms outstretched, as the referee moves into position
Hunter: That has to be it, surely
1…
2…
3…
There are many within the arena actually begging Ethan to get to his feet; Orlando just looks on, resting against the huge Last Stand structure.
4…
5…
Mackie: Ethan’s moving, but can he beat the count?
6…
7…
He grabs a hold of the scaffolding, pulling but not having the strength
8…
9…
With a huge roar, he pulls himself up, just beating the count. Orlando closes his eyes in disbelief that the match isn’t over, and the noise in the San Siro cranks up another notch.
Hunter: These fans are being treated to an absolute classic, we’ve waited 8 years for this, and neither of these individuals has let us down.
Orlando says something to the referee who shrugs his shoulders, Orlando shaking his head and walking over to Ethan, slamming a right hand into his face. Orlando goes for it again, but this time Ethan ducks, Orlando’s fist smashing into the scaffolding. Orlando stagger’s holding his wrist, and that is all Ethan needs to fire off the Super Kick, catching Orlando under the jaw
Hunter: OH…MY…GOD
Mackie: EPIC FAIL!!!!
Lando collapses to the floor, but Ethan doesn’t motion, and instead he starts to climb the Staging.
Hunter: He’s not done…he wants to make sure Mackie
Ethan gingerly gets to the top, the fans watching in anticipation, Orlando still having not moved. He looks down, the Last Stand logo behind him, and holds his arms aloft
Hunter: That’s got to be twenty five feet plus Mackie…he cannot try this, surely?
Mackie: He’s going to, he promises a moment, and this is going to be it.
Ethan leaps, and he arms and legs outstretched, before crashing onto the prone body of Orlando Cruze. The San Siro erupts as both Orlando AND Ethan lie motionless.
Hunter: They are both dead…they cannot continue
Mackie: I’ve not seen anything like that in my life
The fans look on, the referee not sure what to do, but thankfully, Ethan holds up an arm, and pulls himself up to the referee, dragging himself up and using the referee for leverage. Once up, he almost falls back down again, only the staging stopping him from doing so. He nods, even that seeming to be an effort, the referee beginning the count.
1…
2…
Hunter: No way is he getting up here…no chance in hell
Mackie: They have been through hell and I have to agree…Lando is done
3…
4…
5…
Amazingly Orlando starts to stir, and heads towards the giant speaker
6…
7…
The fans roar him on, and even Ethan watches with interest.
8…
9…
He gets to his knees, and then with one final effort, gets upright. The fans go crazy, but Orlando doesn’t have time to celebrate as Ethan runs in, looking to send him sprawling from the top of the stage and to the arena below. He storms in, Orlando stopping him with an instinctive right hand out of nowhere, before then placing his arm across his chest.
Hunter: No!!!
Paul knows what is coming, and so does the entire arena and Orlando spins and leaps from the stage, driving Ethan into the arena floor ten feet below. The crack on impact is heard around the San Siro, as both men once again lie broken.
Mackie: C4 from the top of the stage…NOW they are dead.
It seems the referee agrees as well, as he does wait for any indication, and starts to count both men.
Hunter: Even the referee has had enough, he cannot see these two put themselves through anymore and it willing to count them both out
1…
2…
Mackie: He can’t do that…where’s Helm’s dammit, let them fight?
3…
4…
Hunter: No movement at all…these two are done…call it now referee
5…
6…
Orlando lifts his head, and looks over at Ethan who is still down
Hunter: No way, how the hell is he doing this?
7…
Orlando gets to his knees
8…
Hunter: He’s up, somehow Orlando has gotten up, and Ethan is moving
9…
Ethan gets to his knees, pulling himself up on a nearby box
Hunter: This is amazing, no way can he get up from a C4 from there…NO WAY!!!
He has you know, Ethan Von Aaron with all the courage he can muster, drags himself up just before the ten count
Mackie: I can’t believe it, these fans cannot believe…and to be honest, I don’t think Orlando and Ethan can believe that they are both standing.
Orlando may be banged up but he still manages to run in and almost rips Ethan’s head off with a clothesline. The impact sends Ethan flipping over the crate her had been leaning on and into the floor. The banged up Von Aaron crawls across the concrete and towards the barricade, employing it as a crutch. He no sooner gets his legs under him before the crate he had been leaning on earlier is thrown towards his head. Ethan steps out of the way and the crate cracks the barrier instead.
Orlando doesn’t need to use the barrier to crush Ethan’s head, he’ll use his own fists. He dashes towards Ethan and right into a hip toss, one that brings Orlando’s back down across the top of the barricade. A grimace comes across Orlando’s face as he bounces off of the barricade and rolls to the floor. Before the referee can start the ten count Orlando is rising painstakingly back to his feet. He gets up just as the steel boom that holds a camera is pushed, pushed by Ethan right into an impact with Orlando’s forehead.
Mackie: AAAAH!
Hunter: Ethan just lowered the boom on Orlando!
Mackie: The referee starting his count, is this over?
The referee proceeds with the count on a laid out Orlando, who is clasping at his forehead.
1
2
3
4
5
Much to Ethan’s chagrin, Orlando is starting to inch his way up from the ground. Ethan is about to do something to stop Orlando’s ascent. He grabs Orlando by the back of the head then runs him towards the wall supporting the stage, cracking his skull off of it. He then Irish whips Orlando along into the barricade, his ribs smashing the steel and the collision sending him flipping over into the stands. Ethan is following after him, stepping into the audience and popping the chin of Orlando with jab after jab. The two fight their way up a flight of steps that cuts through the crowd jammed into the San Siro arena.
Hunter: Their fighting out amongst the people. Who knows where this brawl will take them.
Mackie: It might go out of the arena, who knows.
The brawl has taken them up several floors and now instead of moving higher and higher they fight to the side. They are making their way through a thin isle that cuts through the screaming crowd. Ethan picks up one of the chairs and throws it straight into the upper back of Orlando, the impact knocking him silly. He finally ends up at the very end of this isle, hovering high above the ground….no, above a number of objects that seem to stacked and draped in black clothe. Although Ethan can barely breathe he still summons the wind to shout. He cries out to the official who is standing far below at ground level and although that ref doesn’t work for Ethan he still does as requested. The tarp is torn away from the objects beneath Ethan and Orlando, revealing several stacked tables.
Hunter: What’s this?
Mackie: It looks like Ethan had something special set up for this Last Man Standing match.
Hunter: Tables, a whole stack of them waiting to be used. That’s why Ethan led Orlando to that area of the stands.
And it’s why Ethan will be sending Orlando flying off of it. He nails one punch after another across Orlando’s brow, knocking him to the edge of the stands, precariously poised high-high-HIGH above the tables. Orlando won’t be much longer, because Ethan is swinging around right into the Epic Fail. His boot grazes Orlando’s scalp, the Icon bends at just the right time to catch Ethan’s knee against his shoulder and back drop him. Ethan flies out of the stands, tumbles from great heights and crashes to extreme lows when he goes through not one, not two, but THREE tables. Ultimately his body smacks the concrete.
Hunter: OOOOH-M-G!
Mackie: Ethan sent all the way, ALL THE WAY, through those tables and to the floor.
Hunter: His plan failed him this time.
The fans inside of the San Siro are filling the arena with a reaction that rattles the very foundation of the arena. The screams are only getting louder when the referee starts his ten-count.
1
2
3
4
Ethan isn’t moving one inch as he lies amongst so many broken fragments of table.
5
6
7
Orlando gets to his feet in the stands, using the railing to get his balance and then looking down at his handiwork at the body broken amongst the tables.
8
9
A body that STILL isn’t moving.
10
A body that just failed to get up before the ten count.
Hunter: Ethan couldn’t do it. He couldn’t get up after going through all those tables!
Mackie: Meaning that this one is DONE.
Hunter: Amazingly Orlando procures a win after this grueling, BRUTAL confrontation!
Mackie: One he definitely had to earn.
A bag of ice is not going to do very much to mend the injury in Katelyn Buehler’s shoulder. Nevertheless she puts it to use, the World Champion employing whatever tactics she can to bring down the inflammation before she sets out to defend her title in a triple threat bout. She goes on icing her arm while pacing her dressing room, though she won’t enjoy her self-imposed isolation for much longer.
Douglas: You had no right!
Destiny: She should know….
The sounds of a quarrel filters into the room and descends upon Katelyn’s ears. Like a moth to a bug light, Katelyn finds herself drawn to her doom. She steps towards the open door and peers out into the hall where her agent Dan Douglas is in the midst of an argument with her friend Destiny Nichols.
Destiny: You’re the one in the wrong here, Dan, don’t you see that?
Douglas: ME? I’m the only person who’s protecting her. Can’t YOU see that?
Destiny: By brainwashing her? By turning her into a friggin sleeper agent?
Douglas: I’ll do what it takes to keep Katelyn safe….
Destiny: Even when it’s against her will?
Douglas: If that’s what it…..
Katelyn: What are you two arguing about NOW?
Douglas is startled by the eavesdropper. He tries not to show it, wearing a smooth smile as he twists to the doorway where Katelyn is stood.
Douglas: Nothing to concern yourself with.
Katelyn: You two have been ‘tense’ lately. (Smiling) Sexual tension?
The mere insinuation makes Destiny’s skin turn green.
Destiny: Yuck.
Douglas: Don’t be silly Ka….(turning to Destiny) what do you mean, YUCK?
Katelyn: So what are you two arguing about?
Douglas: Just a difference of opinions is all….
Destiny: You don’t remember?
Katelyn: Huh? What am I SUPPOSED to remember?
Destiny: You really don’t remember what I told you two weeks ag….
Douglas: It’s not important, but I’ll tell you what is, making sure your arm (looks at Katelyn’s injured shoulder) holds up during your World Title defense.
Katelyn: Then it’s time for you to work your magic.
The very talisman that possesses hypnotics powers is already out of Douglas’ pocket and in his hand.
Douglas: (Opening palm and gesturing to the room Katelyn is stood in the doorway to) After you.
Katelyn walks back into the room and Douglas follows. Destiny is trailing behind them but she is stopped in the hallway, Douglas’ hand pressed to her shoulder.
Douglas: I think it would be best if you stayed out of this.
Before Destiny can argue she finds the door closing straight in her face.
We cut to backstage, and Ambrosia, the Harlequin of Hardcore, walking through the corridors, a large box in her hands. It isn’t long till she finds a member of the staff, and stops him in his tracks
Crew: Can I do something for you Miss Ambrosia?
Ambrosia: Just Ambrosia, it’s not Sunday. Or Snookum’s, I like it when people call me snookum’s. Go on…do it.
Crew: I…
Ambrosia: Look, at the moment I’m being playful. Don’t change my mood ok? Do you know what I’m like when I’m angry?
The crew member shakes his head
Ambrosia: I’m like a pit-bull…
Crew: OK…
Ambrosia: Chewing on a wasp.
Crew: Right?
Ambrosia: Sliding down a razor blade
The crew member raises his eyes
Ambrosia: Into a tank of venomous cobras…does that sound in any way fun to you?
Crew: No Miss…I mean snookum’s
Ambrosia: There you go. Seeing as you are my new BFF, I need you to do me a favor, can you do that for me?
Crew: Yes
Ambrosia: Good, I want you to take this box, and deliver it to my lover Riddick. You think you can do that?
The crew member nods
Ambrosia: Only Riddick, that’s important
Crew: I’ll see to it
Ambrosia: Good, and when you’ve done, come and find me. Got something else you can do for me
The crew member nods, and makes his way down the corridor.
Ambrosia: Tonight is going to be such fun. I can feel it.
The camera forces every viewer to look up high-high-HIGH to the top of a ladder. The way it’s presented makes for an imposing visual, but the woman that’s walking around it is NOT intimidated. Marina Valdivia circles the ladder, staring it up and staring it down. She even tests it by stepping under the ladder, grabbing either of the rungs at her sides then shaking them to ensure everything is stable.
Sparkles: Looks like Marina Valdivia is getting herself geared up for the Stairway to Hell match.
Greyson: A bout with dire implications for Marina. She takes on New Eden’s Cassidy Haze, and should she lose that match then she’ll be out of tonight’s Rumble. Potentially throwing away her dream of earning a World Title opportunity at Invictus.
Frankie: Like she’ll stand a chance in hell of winning the Rumble anyways after she gets torn to shreds by Cassidy Haze. She’ll walk into the Rumble in worse shape than any woman who accepted a drink from Bill Cosby.
Greyson: We’ve got that Stairway to Hell bout, we’ve got Ambrosia versus Riddick inside of Hell in a Cell, and we’ve got Selena Frost to face Desmond Drake for her Queen of Wrestling Title. So much still to come tonight.
Cameras cut back to the pay-per-view set, back to the tumbler, and back to the two authority figures stood on either side of it. UWA GM David Helms and IWC Principle Owner Karen McBride remain optimistic in spite of everything they’ve seen throughout the night.
Hunter: Alright, can it IWC commentary team, leave the rest of the night to the professionals.
Mackie: They couldn’t turn it over to us a moment sooner.
Dollar: Looks like our head honchos are ready to call out a few more participants in tonight’s Rumble.
Mackie: Well go ahead Hunter, run on up there and grab your number out of the tumbler.
Hunter: No thanks. I’ll pass.
Hunter: Earlier on Uprising’s own Chris Davids came out and selected his spot and he looked pretty damn happy about it.
Mackie: Same couldn’t be said for either Ethan Von Aaron or Orlando Cruze.
The tumbler keeps rotating, mixing up all the numbers inside literally while Helms and McBride are mixing up figuratively.
Karen: Here we go again. Milan (gets the good ole’ fashion cheap pop), it’s time to bring out two more Rumble participants to select their numbers, and…..
Helms: Karen (stepping directly in front of the Principle Owner), we’ve spent enough time together tonight to be on a first name basis, right?
Karen: I doubt it would matter if I disagreed.
Helms: Right. Anyway, before you bring anyone out here and they take their number, I’ve got a bit of an announcement to make. Now far be it from me to grandstand….
Karen: Really?
Helms: But I think the next person who draws their number should be the NEWEST member of the UWA roster….
Drew Bryant: I do apologize for this interruption.
There is a largely mixed reaction directed at the Majority Owner of the IWC AND the UWA, the man who pushes more buttons than an IT specialist. Drew Bryant looks strangely relaxed as he’s pushed along on his wheelchair to the stage. His lady love Kitty Buehler steers him straight into the spotlight.
Mackie: To what do we owe the honor of having our esteemed President Drew Bryant out here?
Dollar: Pay raises for everyone! HAZZAH!
Hunter: Like you NEED a pay raise?
Dollar: Right now I own a Hawker 800XP, but with a little extra income I can buy a Gulfstream G280.
Hunter: I feel so bad for you, Johnny.
Bryant soaks in the lukewarm response from the thousands of Italians in attendance. He does not however, pretend to notice the disappointment of either McBride or Helms, who were right in the midst of business.
Bryant: Let me reiterate just how sorry I am for barging my way into the spotlight, but I did hear someone say something about…grandstanding….
Mackie: Pfft, he can’t even STAND at all.
Hunter: Quiet you, or I’ll bring out the muzzle again.
Bryant: And no one grandstands better than Drew Bryant, the owner of both the UWA and the IWC…
Helms chuckles and McBride shrugs.
Bryant: Spotlight mongering isn’t what brings me out here though, even if I do possess a certain flare for it. No, I’m here not to distract from this moment but to enhance it. You fans in attendance tonight, and those watching from all corners of the world, may not appreciate the fact that this is the final time that the Uprising and Riot brands will be competing beneath the same umbrella. After tonight we embark on a brand new journey, one that will see the Uprising roster go from a brand that operates under the IWC, to its very own fully funded, fully fledged federation, fully rechristened as the Uprising Wrestling Association….or UWA for those who LOVE abbreviations. My baby is growing up.
Hunter: That was huge news for us on the Uprising roster.
Mackie: Feel bad for everyone over in IWC, they’ll never get a chance to be in the same building with yours truly again.
Dollar: Is it too late to sign with Riot then?
Mackie: Oh hardy-har-har.
Bryant: So this is it, the final night that you, David Helms, and you, Karen McBride, will be working together, and the very last time I’ll be wheeled out and put on display for the IWC. After this pay-per-view I will be selling my 75% stock in the IWC, and putting all my capital and all my resources behind the UWA. I want to create my own unique legacy, and the UWA will grant me the opportunity to do just that. I hope everyone watching joins both myself and the Uprising roster on this new and exciting venture…..
Helms: Alright-alright Bryant, if you’re done sounding like a glorified infomercial, I got some business to handle.
Bryant grins and extends a hand towards Helms as if to imply that the pulpit is once again his.
Helms: Before you came out here I was right in the middle of making my OWN statement, one that’s going to ensure that the UWA kicks off with an explosive premier.
Bryant: Liking the sounds of this already.
Helms: Now far be it from me to cut the legs out from under a competitor….
Bryant: (Growls) Careful….
Helms: Oh (gestures to Bryant’s wheelchair) erm…poor choice of words. Anyway, I wasn’t hired just for my looks, although I’m sure they played a part, what I was hired for is my cunning and my savvy. Characteristics I’m sure every fan of the new UWA will appreciate when I unveil the talent that I just coaxed over from the IWC….
Karen: Excuse me?
Helms: Now-now, before you get into an uproar, your crew have been dropping less than subtle hints that you pilfered one of my top stars and you’ve yet to do me the courtesy of telling me who that talent is, so you’re just getting a taste of your own medicine.
Karen doesn’t have to like this, but she does have to deal with it.
Helms: So with that said, it’s just about time for me to introduce to the world, the newest member of the UWA. A FORMER World Champion….
Karen REALLY doesn’t have to like this.
Helms: Why don’t you come out here and draw your number for the Rumble……SERENITY.
Hunter: GOD…IN….HEAVEN.
The commentators aren’t the only ones surprised as former IWC World Champion Serenity makes her way to the stage. The depraved young lady smiles ever so cynically at the likes of a stunned Bryant, a stunned McBride and a stunned audience. She even offers them all a regal like waving of her hand before that hand ends up reaching into the tumbler. She takes out her number, examines it and then winks in Helms’ direction.
Mackie: THIS IS HUGE!
Dollar: Wow….I mean…WOW….Serenity is coming to the UWA? That is so unreal. There hasn’t been a debut this big since I showed up at the Uprising commentary booth.
Hunter: This is a MAJOR talent acquisition.
Mackie: I take back every negative thing I was GOING to say about Helms. He’s given us a former World Champion.
After selecting her number from the tumbler, Serenity blows a kiss at McBride, and then tussles the hair on top of the wheelchair bound Bryant. He doesn’t look all that pleased that another member of New Eden, the very same collective of psychopaths who took away the use of his legs, has just joined HIS UWA.
Karen: Congrats Helms…well played.
At least McBride is a good sport. She even offers a half-hearted clap for Helms after Serenity has vanished into the backstage area.
Karen: I gotta commend you. I didn’t see that one coming.
Helms bows oh so gracefully.
Karen: Serenity definitely gives the UWA a leg up….
Bryant: Excuse me!?!
Karen: Erm, bad phrasing. Anyway, she gives the UWA a BOOST headed into the Rumble later tonight. Buuuut I’m afraid that even she’s not going to stand a chance against the next member of the Riot roster I’m inviting out to draw her number….the Snow Queen Selena Frost.
It takes a moment for the crowd to get over their shock after Serenity’s defection to UWA, but they finally begin to cheer their heads off at the sight of Selena Frost. The rightful Queen of Wrestling Champion, sans title belt, comes to the stage and absorbs the sound of thousands and thousands chanting ‘we believe.’
Hunter: Karen isn’t kidding, Serenity is going to have a tough time tangling with the likes of Selena Frost in the Rumble.
Mackie: And Selena’s gonna have her hands full when she takes on Desmond Drake for possession of the Queen of Wrestling Title.
Dollar: Whoa…hahahahaha…hold on…hahahaha…time out. Did you just imply that Desmond Drake was going to be a THREAT to Selena Frost?
Mackie: Hey, I watch Riot, sometimes, and over the last two shows Drake has managed to leave with Selena’s Queen of Wrestling Title. He’s like water, he just keeps slipping right through Selena’s fingers.
One thing that will not slip through Selena’s hand is the number that she is drawing from the tumbler. She throws the tiny plastic ball into the air and then swats it aside like Mr. Perfect displacing a piece of bubble gum. The number she took from it is examined and it brings a smirk to her face. That grin widens when McBride whispers something into Selena’s ear.
Karen: Best of luck.
Selena: (Grinning at McBride) I don’t need luck…I’ve got BELIEF.
Selena heads down the ramp and towards the ring where before she fights in the Rumble she will be competing for possession of her Queen of Wrestling Title.
Hunter: Well guys, as I understand it, Selena’s match against Drake is coming at us right now.
Dollar: Is Selena going to finally get back her Queen of Wrestling Title?
Mackie: Noooooot happening.
Dollar: Not if Dessie D hides behind all those masked assassins he’s been using to get the better of Selena.
If there’s one visual we don’t need it’s a close up on Desmond Drake’s face. Although half of his skull is hidden under a gray bandana, unfortunately his weasely smirk is still visible. So too is the stolen Queen of Wrestling Championship that sits over his shoulder. His short stature seems to take up a lot of space in the backstage area with a number of gray steel beams lining the walls behind him. Sadly there is not much to detract from the sight of his grin.
Drake: Selena Frost BELIEVES she deserves the Queen of Wrestling Title.
Drake rolls his eyes.
Drake: Selena Frost BELIEVES that she earned the Queen of Wrestling Title.
Drake makes a jerking off motion.
Drake: Selena Frost BELIEVES that she can take the Queen of Wrestling Title from me.
Drake unleashes a bellowing laugh.
Drake: Selena Frost BELIEVES a lot of things, but the power of belief won’t save her from REALITY. See, I’M reality. And reality is going to remind Selena that she never deserved to hold the Queen of Wrestling Title. Reality will prove to Selena that she did not EARN this title. Reality is going to keep her from getting her filthy, icy hands on the belt. In reality, the great, honorable Silas Mason entrusted me with the duties of christening a brand new Queen of Wrestling Champion, and I did not GIVE the title to Selena, so I’m not about to let her TAKE it.
Drake looks past the camera.
Drake: That’s where you come in.
Said camera turns to bring two ladies into view that are bedecked in head to toe leather ensembles, their faces buried beneath ski masks. Though their identities are shrouded, their motives are clear.
SELENA FROST VS. DESMOND DRAKE:
QUEEN OF WRESTLING TITLE
There’s a bounce in Selena Frost’s step as she bounds from one set of ropes to another. Obviously the Snow Queen is very enthused at the thought of a potential confrontation with Desmond Drake, a fight that will culminate to the return of her Queen of Wrestling Championship.
Greyson: Selena Frost is anxious for this one guys.
Sparkles: This is a huge night for her. She’s got this match against Desmond Drake to look forward to, and then she’s got the Rumble coming up later tonight.
Frankie: She’s biting off way more than she can chew. It’s like when Gabourey Sidibe tries to fit an entire lobster in her mouth, it’s just not gonna happen.
Greyson: Selena has been aching to get her hands on Drake ever since HE got HIS hands on the Queen of Wrestling Championship. He stole the title from Selena and has thus far been able to elude her ever since.
Selena comes to a rest in the middle of the ring where she crouches down and puts hands on her knees. Her eyes are fixed on the stage where the reviled Desmond Drake is now standing, her belt over his shoulder.
Drake: Let’s get one thing straight here lil Mrs. Icy Britches…..
Drake just won’t stop talking, not even as he walks towards the ring.
Drake: You must have frost bite in your brain if you think you’re leaving with the title tonight. Face REALITY, you haven’t gotten the belt from me yet and you won’t get it from me now. I’m like….hmmm….how can I describe it in a way YOU would understand? Oh yeah, I’m like ICE….I’m just too slick!
In Selena’s mind that’s about to change. But there’s a separation between what her mind wants and what her body can deliver. Two figures slide into the ring behind Selena and try to debilitate that body. These individuals are clad in black clothing and equally as dark ski masks. They pounce on Selena, dropping her to the canvas and pinning her beneath their boots.
Greyson: Not again!
Sparkles: For weeks Drake has been bringing in one masked woman after another to attack Selena, and now there’s TWO of them.
Frankie: Who’s under those masks this time? The Olsen twins?
Greyson: Whoever they are, they got the drop on Frost.
Yes Selena was dropped, but she will rise.
As one of the masked attackers sends her boot hurdling towards Selena’s skull it’s caught. The Queen of Wrestling Champion grabs her assailant around the ankle and then pushes the foot away from her skull. That leg swings right along into the waiting arms of her partner in crime. The other masked attacker finds her own leg caught, trapped in Selena’s clutches. The Champion hits a dragon screw whip, sending one person flipping over, wait, not one but TWO people. As the masked lady goes crashing to the ring she holds tight to her associate’s leg, pulling her over as well. A double dragon screw leg whip sends both of Selena’s assailants to the canvas.
Sparkles: They couldn’t keep Selena down for long.
Frankie: Where does Dessie get his henchmen? The discount cart at K-Mart?
The double dragon screw whip has either masked lady agonizing, though if they thought they were in pain before they have no idea what they’re in store for next. One is starting towards her feet before Selena snatches them around the neck, locking in the front chancery as a precursor for the Icebreaker.
Greyson: The Icebreaker is about to finish off just one of these ladies.
Frankie: It won’t help her, cause once Dessie D gets in there it’s all over.
Drake isn’t going any further than the apron, frightfully watching as Selena prepares to execute the implant DDT. Although Drake isn’t going to stop her, a few more of his ‘friends’ might. Just when Selena has turned the tide against her attackers, not one, not two, but THREE more assailants in ski masks come barreling from the crowd and into the ring.
Greyson: There’s even more?
Sparkles: Now there’s three masked ladies jumping out of the crowd!
Frankie: Dessie D must buy his henchwomen in bulk.
Sparkles: Sparkles wonders if they’re like the fembots in Austin Powers. Be wary of the gas shooting from their nipples, Selena.
It isn’t gas or nipples Selena has to defend herself against. One woman jumps on Selena’s back and latches on a sleeper hold while another is kicking her straight in the ribs. The lady that Selena WAS going to hit with the Icebreaker has freed herself and is now getting some retribution on Frost by slapping her upside the cheek with some punches. The fright that Drake exhibited moments ago is replaced with a grin bigger than the height of his own body.
Drake: Finish this already!
He orders, watching as one of the five ladies lifts Selena up onto her shoulders in an electric chair drop position. She positions Selena for another of the attackers, who is presently scaling a turnbuckle.
Greyson: Doomsday Device coming.
Frankie: And it WILL be Selena’s doomsday.
The masked woman perched on the turnbuckle comes flying off into a clothesline that collides with Selena’s throat. The impact sends Selena flipping off the shoulders she was loaded on top of and down to the ring where she is held firmly in place. Two of her attackers have dropped down and are holding Selena’s ankles and wrists to the canvas, trapping her and exposing her to the next move intended to cripple her chances of regaining the Queen of Wrestling Title and cripple her body. There’s a masked woman stood on the top rope, waiting to go airborne with her landing zone designated as Selena’s ribcage. She comes flying off into the elbow drop, and it connects, with the small of one of her own partners’ backs. Selena sits up and causes the woman who was holding onto her wrists to be pulled into the flightpath of the elbow that was hurdling in Frost’s direction.
Drake’s face starts to resemble the color of milk. Terror creeps into his eyes when he watches Selena roll back and onto her feet before leaping into a stereo clothesline that takes down two of his bodyguards. Although three of her masked attackers have been taken out, there’s still two more waiting in the wings to get the drop on her. Their forearms smack across Selena’s back and drop her to her knees. The blows keep on coming and keep on wearing the Champion down.
One of the masked woman take Selena under the chin and pulls back to keep her face exposed to the boot that comes hurdling towards it. The other lady in black responsible for Selena’s injuries looks to exacerbate them. She comes charging in and hits a kick straight across…THIN AIR.
Selena avoids calamity at the last potential moment, slipping back through the arms of the woman who was holding her and avoiding the boot that was on the verge of cracking her in the cheek. Selena goes on slipping, ending up traveling through the legs of her captor and then ending up outside of the ring. She has no intention of returning to the squared circle, instead she’s running around it to get her hands on the man who was immensely enjoying her misery.
Sparkles: Selena’s after Drake!
Greyson: She’s right on his heels.
Frankie: Would one of the fifty million ladies in the ring do something to actually help Drake?
That’s just what they’re doing, scrambling over one another as they go to help Drake. He helps HIMSELF to the best of his abilities by doing what he does best, running like he’s in a neck to neck race with Jessie Owens. He’s bolting up the ramp and doing so with Selena’s Queen of Wrestling Title still in his grips. But Selena is right there behind him, her longer legs making it possible for her to catch up with Drake and ALMOST get her fingers around his neck. Somehow Drake slips out of Selena’s clutches and makes it into the backstage area.
Greyson: Crap, Drake does it again…
Frankie: Told you Selena wouldn’t get back her Queen of Wrestling Title.
Sparkles: Drake is just too elusive, and those ladies in masks provided the perfect distraction to allow him to scamper away with…..
Greyson: Don’t say ‘with his tail between his legs,’ cause we all know that Drake has NOTHING between his legs.
Cameras have transitioned to the outside of a locker-room designated for Monarchy. The sounds of loud music can be heard filtering out from the room and into the hallway. It appears as if some type of party is ongoing within the confines of the dwelling where Monarchy have set up shop.
Greyson: What’s going on here? Are Monarchy having some type of party?
Sparkles: Certainly sounds like it.
Frankie: They’re in a rather festive mood, and they have every right to be. Later tonight one of their own Taylor Chase challenges for the World Title in a triple threat match.
Greyson: Then she SHOULDN’T be partying right now.
Frankie: Shouldn’t she be? She knows it’s a foregone conclusion that she’ll be beating Mika Kozlov and Katelyn Buehler later. We’re going to see a new champion crowned, and Tay-Tay will be her name. Let’s get the party started.
Monarchy are already on it, hence the sounds of raised voices and even louder music pumping out from their dressing room.
Darkness. Pure darkness, and maybe just a slight smidgeon of malice. That’s what you see in the eyes of Cassidy Haze, eyes surrounded by cavernous sockets as deep as they are shadowy. Her pupils, black and dilated, are fixated upon an item that remains out of view. Like a vulture that hovers over carrion, Cassidy circles and circles an unseen object, an object that satiates her lustful cravings for chaos. Soon that object centered in the corridor where Cassidy paces is brought up from a table and positioned in front of the camera. Suddenly everyone wishes they hadn’t found out what tickled Cassidy’s fancy, because what she has in her grips is a board wrapped in barbwire.
Frankie: Oh shit on a shingle.
Greyson: Cassidy Haze admiring that barbwire board.
Sparkles: It’s gonna be hung above the ring during Cassidy’s match against Marina Valdivia.
Greyson: The only way to reach it will be via climbing a ladder.
Frankie: Stairway to Hell still to come later tonight.
Cassidy continues to admire the barbwire and Cindy Todd admires her pledge. The leader of New Eden approaches her pupil and graces her cheek with the back of her knuckles.
Cindy: You WILL win tonight. You WILL keep Marina out of the Rumble. Because if you don’t, what Marina does to you will be nothing compared to what I do.
Cameras return to the interior of the arena, fixated on a demonic structure, the epitome of hardcore….a Hell in a Cell. It looms high over the squared circle but at any moment it will make its descent and surround two of the most vicious athletes to ever lace up their wrestling boots.
Mackie: Speaking of hell, our ‘pals’ over in the IWC might have a Stairway to it, but we got a cell designed to encase it.
Hunter: We’ve got ourselves a Hell in a Cell match still to come later tonight when the ‘Harlequin of Hardcore’ Ambrosia battles the malcontent Riddick.
Dollar: It’s gonna be a bloody night setting the stage for the Rumble still to come.
Hunter: The Hell in a Cell just one of several high profile bouts to come this evening, that along with the eagerly anticipated Uprising World Title match that will pit champion Vanilla Skyy against challenger Gavin Taylor. And speaking of that match, we’ve got broadcast colleague Sallie standing by to talk with Gavin on the eve of his huge championship opportunity.
A microphone toting Sallie occupies a backstage corridor where she anticipates an interview with number one contender to the Uprising title, Gavin Taylor.
Sallie: Thanks fellas. I’m standing by here just outside of the dressing room of Gavin Taylor, who later tonight will challenge for the Uprising World Championship. It was just a few weeks ago that we saw Gavin take the champ Vanilla Skyy to her absolute physical limit only to come up short of capturing the gold. Will tonight be a different story? We’ll find out what the challenger intends to do differently when I ask Gav….in…….Tay…..lor….
Sallie turns into a stammering mess when finding herself in the presence of three of the most imposing figures to ever haunt the halls of the IWC. The beast Decay, the demure but demonic Eve, and the ghostly Ba’al, descend upon the correspondent and surround her. Sallie looks nervous to say the least to find herself in the company of the Sinistry.
Ba’al: You yearn for an interview….?
Sallie reluctantly nods her head.
Ba’al: Then dear girl, you should not desire to interview a worthless man like Gavin Taylor. You should interview someone with MERIT….
His finger points into the camera.
Ba’al: Interview someone who MATTERS. Interview OUR (gestures to the Sinistry) unstoppable Vanilla Skyy.
Decay strong-arms Sallie right out of camera’s shot and down a corridor. The camera remains positioned on the doorway that leads into Gavin Taylor’s dressing room. Apparently we will not be hearing from him after-all.
Tabitha: I’ve been receiving death threats.
A chilling comment from a haunting woman. Tabitha Silverstone stands in a corridor talking to someone stationed just behind the camera, giving them all the deadly details. For an agent who is apparently being threatened she sure looks confident and speaks without even the faintest hint of fear.
Tabitha: For weeks now she’s been stalking me, threatening me, threatening my clients. I’m more worried about them than I am myself, to be honest. Marina and Andre, the two of them mean everything to me, and she’s-she’s trying to take them down a very dangerous, no, deadly path.
Voice: Why didn’t you go to management about this?
Tabitha: Because they’ve put me in harm’s way repeatedly. They let people assault me over and over again even though I’m NOT a trained wrestler. Now they’re sitting on their hands while I’m being threatened and physically assaulted AGAIN. This time it’s different though, I’m legitimately worried for my life, and for the life of my clients. You’ve GOT to help me.
The camera finally turns and brings the man that was talking to Tabitha into view, and that man just so happens to have a police shield hanging from the chest pocket of his jacket. He puts away his small notepad and his hand comes to a rest on the holstered pistol.
Officer: Who’s making these threats against you?
Tabitha: (Taking a deep breath) Victoria…..Victoria Salinas.
Karen: That was a shrewd move, Helms.
Whispers IWC Principle Owner Karen McBride, still not very happy that UWA GM David Helms managed to out maneuver her moments ago. The two remain on either side of a tumbler, and it’s probably a very good thing that it separates them given the state of McBride’s mind. Helms just stands there on the stage grinning and giving himself a mental pat on the back for managing to woo one of McBride’s talents away from her brand.
Greyson: Karen McBride and David Helms still out here overseeing their respective rosters as they draw their numbers….
Sparkles: But who’s going to oversee the overseers? Cause they look like they’re about to go at it themselves.
Frankie: Awww, is poor wittle baby McBride all sad cause UWA stole Serenity from our brand? Here’s a hanky for her eyes, and if she needs to suck on something I got that taken care of too….
Greyson: Frankie, you really must not value job security.
Karen takes a breath, gets over the loss of one of her talents and gets back to business.
Karen: Oh well (sigh), the night isn’t over, still plenty of time to put the ball back in my court.
Helms: I do enjoy a friendly challenge of one-upmanship. So by all means, why don’t you just go ahead, stop hinting around and just reveal who it is you managed to steal from the UWA roster? Your employee Mark Comeau already hinted at it several weeks ago.
Karen: Hmmmm….naaaaah….I think I’ll wait for just the right moment. And that moment isn’t right now darling. Instead what I’ll do is bring out another member of MY roster to draw their number. Meaning you’re just going to have to wait MISTER.
Helms rubs at his temple with one hand and then gestures towards the back with the other.
Helms: Well bring them on out.
Karen Alright…ladies and gentlemen (turns to the crowd), at this moment please welcome another IWC talent set to compete in tonight’s Last Stand Rumble….Flash Silver.
The self-appointed terrorist hunter and ultra-patriotic Flash Silver responds to his introduction. Although his neck is wrapped in a collar nothing is going to keep him from selecting his number from the tumbler on the stage and then competing in the Rumble itself. Well…nothing except for the brutal thrust kick that nails him right in the back of his previously injured neck. Flash is instantly rendered a drooling mess as he falls flat on his face, landing at the feet of the woman who just blindsided him from behind. That woman is the Queen of Chaos, Cindy Todd.
Greyson: Flash Silver blindsided…blindsided by CINDY TODD!
Frankie: The Queen of Chaos has just descended upon us, which means we’re all pretty much….fucked.
Sparkles: Why is Cindy attacking Flash?
Frankie: Really? REALLY? You think Cindy NEEDS motives for anything that she does?
Greyson: Cindy is in an even more destructive mood than normal. Her group New Eden seems to be unraveling. First her former follower Mika Kozlov throws a fireball into her face three weeks ago and now tonight her Princess of Chaos, Serenity, has just went over to the UWA.
Frankie: Ooooh great, Cindy in a bad mood? That’s like a nuclear bomb with anger issues.
Surprisingly Cindy doesn’t look angry, in spite of the fact that she nearly beheaded Flash with a superkick. She steps over the body of the fallen patriot and moves towards McBride.
Karen: What the hell is this?
The angry owner is pointing down at Flash and then back at Cindy.
Karen: Who do you think you….
Cindy: You KNOW who I am. (Stepping up straight into McBride’s face) And you KNOW what I am capable of.
The threat isn’t very subtle.
Cindy: I’ve come out here with something to say, and you will NOT interrupt me.
Instead of approaching McBride, the attention of the Queen is focused on Helms.
Cindy: I believe you owe me your eternal gratitude.
Helms: My grat….
Cindy: Did I not specify that you were to remain QUIET when I speak? If it weren’t for me, Serenity wouldn’t have come to your UWA.
A surprising statement to say the least.
Cindy: Serenity didn’t defect, she was SENT. I gave her a very special mission, a mission that required her departure from the Riot roster. But don’t fret McBride….
In a seductive manner Cindy extends her hand and slips it under the chin of the Principle Owner, stroking her jaw.
Cindy: The void that Serenity left behind will be filled. I promise that I will have a NEW follower coming to the IWC….
Helms: Enough…(Helms waves his hands in front of Cindy)….We’re not going to play your games….
Cindy: (Smiling) As if you have a choice in the matter. You have less options than all those who compete in tonight’s Rumble. Their only fate is to be tossed over the top rope and suffer elimination at my hands.
The tumbler is opened and Cindy removes her number. The ball it’s encased inside is squeezed so tight in her palm.
Cindy: You Helms, have less options than Marina Valdivia, who will be like all those in the Rumble this evening, she will know the joys of the SUFFERING.
The moment that Cindy finishes her sentence the lyrics of Cassidy Haze’s theme music start to filter through the loud speakers. Cindy doesn’t even turn to face the entry way behind her back that Cassidy Haze is now stepping out of. The New Eden member steps to her Queen’s side and then listens to the instructions that Cindy whispers into her ears. Cassidy then takes off for the squared circle where she will compete in a Stairway to Hell bout.
Frankie: Ohhh this is gonna be good.
Greyson: Good? No, more like ghoulish.
Sparkles: Cindy Todd sending one of her disciples of chaos down that ramp to compete against Marina Valdivia in the Stairway to Hell match.
Greyson: Marina loses, she’s out of the Rumble. But if Cassidy Haze wants to make it happen, she’s gotta go it alone. The rest of New Eden are banned from ringside.
CASSIDY HAZE VS. MARINA VALDIVIA:
STAIRWAY TO HELL
As Cassidy makes her descent down the ramp her Queen Cindy is backing through the curtains. Before she completely vanishes she pauses to take a look at the Principle Owner, the very woman responsible for banning her from ringside during this Stairway to Hell bout.
Cindy: I’ll be nice…..for now.
Cindy adheres to the rules of this bout, staying away from ringside and instead walking to the back. Haze now stands alone in the center of the squared circle and is looking at the weapon that is being clasped by a referee. The barbwire board that will be dangled above the ring is presently in the clutches of the official. The ref wraps the board in a cable and then watches as it rises from his hands and towards the heavens where it will be used to unleash hell. Haze has fallen to her knees in the middle of the ring, looking up at the 2×4 in a trance like state. She almost drools at the thought of putting it to use. Although her nose is still bruised, having suffered a fracture two weeks earlier, she can almost smell the scent of Marina’s blood yet to be spilled.
Frankie: Prepare to watch Cassidy turn into a tick, cause she’s gonna be draining every last ounce of blood from Marina’s body.
Greyson: There has been a lot of bloodshed during the build into this war. It was back at the End of the Year Special that Cassidy Haze returned to the IWC by ambushing Marina mere moments after she had endured a brutal Cartel Chaos bout.
Frankie: She cracked Marina right in the back of her noggin with a barbwire bat.
Sparkles: But Marina got just a smidgen of retribution three weeks ago when she broke Cassidy’s nose with a ladder.
Greyson: It may not be a SMIDGEN of revenge that Marina gets here tonight.
Frankie: Cause she’ll get no revenge at all. She’s doomed. Doomed. DOOMED.
Greyson: Take it down a notch, Frankie.
Haze’s knees are rooted to the ring and her eyes are glued to the barbwire high above it. It may not be much longer before she puts that weapon to use. In fact, she’s not even going to wait for her adversary’s entrance or the ring of the bell, she wants her hands on that barbwire and she wants it RIGHT NOW. Haze rolls from the squared circle and won’t be returning to it without a ladder in hand. Haze slides the weapon in, slides herself in and then begins to set the ladder right under a far more appetizing device of destruction. The crowd is crying out at the sight of Haze ascending towards the barbwire bat.
Frankie: Heh, this is genius.
Greyson: Haze isn’t even about to wait for the bout to start, or hell, she won’t wait on her opponent to make her entrance either, she’s going straight after the barbwire.
Sparkles: If Sparkles were Marina, I wouldn’t even bother to make my entrance then cause Cassidy’s got a brutal greeting waiting for her.
Frankie: If I were Marina, I’d wear a paper bag over my head, constantly. Actually, swap the paper bag with a plastic one.
It won’t be paper or plastic….or BLOOD….that is warn on the brow of Marina, not if she has anything to say about it. Well, it won’t be anything she says, it will be something she does. To the tunes of ‘Glamorous’ playing over the PA system, Marina comes running down the ramp. With the momentum of Speedy Gonzalez and with the urgency of the Roadrunner evading Willie Coyote, Marina hustles towards the ring.
Greyson: Marina desperately getting to that ring to stop Cassidy.
Sparkles: She might not be moving fast enough.
Frankie: Barry Allen she is not….hell, she’s not even Bart Allen….no, she’s not even Jay Garrick.
Sparkles: Sparkles has no idea who any of those people are? Is that the names of the Backstreet Boys?
The barbwire bat is just within Cassidy’s reach, her fingers almost grasping the weapon that will be instrumental in so much blood-loss. Cassidy may not get hold of the board, but Marina does get hold of her opponent’s ankles. With one good tug she drags Haze down from the ladder and to the middle of the ring, where much to the dismay of the audience she ends up landing straight on her feet. Haze quickly swings one of her feet around and catches Marina straight upside the temple with a kick, the blow sending her reeling into the ladder. Marina uses it to keep her balance, and soon uses it to her advantage.
The murderous Haze comes plowing along into her opponent’s back, diving into a spear. However, Marina sidesteps her at the last second and Cassidy goes flying past her and not into the ladder but THROUGH it.
A surprised Haze finds herself extended all the way through the ladder, legs dangling out of one side, her head out of the other.
Sparkles: Oh Gouda, Cassidy is stuck…stuck in the ladder.
Greyson: Which opens up a world of possibilities for her opponent.
Frankie: And not good possibilities either.
Marina goes hurdling into her opponent’s prone face with a basement dropkick. The shot knocks her nearly unconscious, causing Haze to go limp as she lies across the rungs of the ladder. Marina realizes that with Haze caught that she’s got a major opportunity, climbing the ladder and even putting her boot to the shoulder blades of her adversary as she ascends. She steps off Haze in order to get closer and closer to the barbwire above the squared circle.
Although Marina’s hands are mere inches from the board she can never take it into her possession, cause her foot is nabbed like it were caught in a bear-trap. Haze may still be stuck in the ladder but she’s able to get a hold of Marina’s leg. She gives it a yank so forceful that it pulls her right back down to the ring. Marina shows cat like reflexes in order to land on her feet and then displays quicker reflexes when she latches onto her opponent’s neck. Marina pulls Cassidy until her ankles are the only thing still draped over the ladder, but even they won’t be on the rungs for long. Marina hits a Tower of London style diamond cutter, dragging Cassidy’s face straight down to the canvas.
Sparkles: OOOOH golly, what a neck breaker!
Greyson: Haze dumped right on her face.
Frankie: That can’t do any favors to that nose she had broken three weeks ago.
The cutter sends Haze rolling from the ring and to the apron, putting herself as far away from the ladder. Haze might move away from it, but Marina is ascending it. She climbs the rungs and is almost at the top before she comes plunging to whole new depths. Marina looks down just in time to spot Cassidy, who has crawled into the ring and latched onto the legs of the ladder. She is trying her best to push it over and send the California All-Star tumbling all the way down off the top. Marina’s been there, she’s suffered that, and she’s not going to let it happen again.
Marina doesn’t go tumbling down she reaches down, grabbing Haze by the hair. She pulls her to her feet and puts a leg across the back of her opponent’s head, going for a modified bottoms up. The fans squeal in anticipation as Marina leaps off the ladder to hit the move, unfortunately her target keeps her footing. Haze displays her strength by countering Marina’s attempted maneuver, carrying her across the ring and throwing her clear over the top rope. Sadly Marina doesn’t have the chance to brace herself before her back smacks and smacks HARD into the ringside mats.
Greyson: Crash landing!
Frankie: God, Haze is freakishly strong.
Greyson: Like THAT’S the only thing freakish about her?
An addled Marina is using the apron to stand up before she’s kicked away from it. Haze hits a dropkick through the ropes that sends her victim hurdling into the barricade. Surprisingly Marina rebounds from the barricade, bouncing back towards the ring that her adversary is flipping off of. Haze leaps from the apron and into a blockbuster neck-breaker.
The strain on Marina’s neck has it on the brink of snapping, but Haze is going to make sure that it doesn’t just snap, it breaks clean in half. She’s going to use the steel steps in order to make that happen. She separates the upper and the bottom halves, using the lower section as the ultimate weapon. She leans that section of steps diagonally against the barricade and then prepares to introduce a body into it. She pulls Marina from the ground and then Irish whips her towards the steps slanted against the barrier. Right before she hits the steel Marina shows remarkable athleticism by jumping straight over it. She clears the stairs, clears the barricade and lands out amongst the people.
Cassidy comes hustling towards her adversary, only to run right into a forearm that smashes her upside the mouth. The blow to the kisser has rattled Cassidy to such an extent that she has no idea that Marina has made her way through the crowd and is now standing beside her on the opposite side of the barricade. Marina comes flipping over the barrier and into a head scissors, wrapping her legs around Haze’s neck. All that’s left to do is simply drop back and complete the move, but Haze isn’t letting that happen. Instead she keeps Marina on top of her shoulders, and holds her there until she’s run across the mats and flung her into a powerbomb. Marina goes flying back first straight into the steps leaning against the barricade.
Sparkles: Cassidy just broke her…She just broke Marina into a thousand pieces.
Frankie: She powerbombed her ass straight into those steps!
Sparkles: Now that ass has an even bigger crack in it than before.
The collision with the stairs has Marina looking as helpless as a deer stood between the headlights of a car….but it’s more like a locomotive that’s barreling towards her at the moment. Cassidy comes running towards her adversary and then forward flips into the cannonball, crushing Marina between her body and the steps.
Frankie: CAAAAANNOOONBALL!
The barbarism exhibited by Haze is only getting worse the longer and longer this bout continues. We see her depravity yet again as she decks Marina across the brow several times and then takes her by the ears. The back of Marina’s head is swung repeatedly into the stairs that she was seated up against. The multiple impacts with the stairs have Marina’s skull right on the point of splintering into a thousand broken fragments of bone.
Cassidy: The suffering! THE SUFFERING!!
Cries out the crazed Haze. We’ll see just how mentally unstable she is when Haze puts Marina’s face UNDER the steel steps her skull was being crushed against. The arch of the stairs are wedged against Marina’s mug and the steps are positioned vertically. Cassidy brings another toy into this battle, a steel chair, and it’s one that she swings straight into the top of the steps. As a result the stairs are driven down straight into Marina’s face. Cassidy keeps swinging the chair again and again and again into the steps, pushing the other side into her adversary’s forehead.
Frankie: If Cassidy doesn’t stop this then Marina’s face is gonna look worse than Sarah Jessica Parker’s. Ewwwww.
Sparkles: Sparkles just threw up in his mouth.
Frankie: Seriously, the Crypt Keeper will look better than Marina before Cassidy is through with her.
And Cassidy isn’t through yet. A chair and steel steps aren’t the weapons Cassidy came here with the intention of utilizing. She returns to the ring and quickly approaches the ladder set up in the center of it. She scales as fast as her war torn body will allow in order to reach the barbwire board that is hanging from the scaffolding. She reaches up for the board and she almost has her hands wrapped around it. Just as she is on the verge of acquiring her most prized possession she finds herself descending the ladder and in a hurry. Marina has come leaping off the top rope into a dropkick that nails the ladder under Cassidy’s feet, knocking her all the way from the top and all the way down to the ring below. The impact is downright fatal, Cassidy’s back withstanding the brunt of the collision.
Greyson: BIG FALL.
Sparkles: And a bad landing.
Frankie: Cassidy landed straight on her ass, which was already a pretty narrow behind to begin with.
Sparkles: It won’t be after that landing.
The ladder that Cassidy just tumbled from is still open even though it’s fallen completely over onto its side. It’s positioning is going to prove very advantageous….for Marina. She drags her opponent off the ring and then gives Haze a reverse suplex, a reverse suplex that drops her ribs right on top of the spreader assembly of the ladder.
Frankie: Yikes, she was just dropped straight on her womb.
Greyson: Thank God for that, I think we can all agree that Cassidy bringing offspring into the world would be worse than Rosemary’s Baby.
The spreader assembly continues to support Cassidy’s ribs, finding herself draped over them. Her adversary is stumbling towards the nearest turnbuckle, scaling it all the way up to the top and then flying off into a double stomp. She drives her boots into Cassidy’s back, slamming her ribs down even further into the spreader assembly. A coughing and gagging Haze looks like she’s about to spew out blood due to her internal injuries. Marina is more consumed with inflicting external wounds however.
Marina knocks Cassidy down off the spreader assembly and then grabs the legs of the ladder, standing it up to position it straight under the barbwire board. It may take her some time to do it but Marina climbs as fast as her battle tested body will let her. She’s verging closer and closer to the barbwire, hands extending out to take down the weapon. She’s ALMOST got it…but ALMOST is as close as she gets. Just before Marina can take down the barbwire bat she finds her wrists caught on something and that something are the hands of her adversary. Cassidy has climbed up the opposite side of the ladder and is now holding tight to the wrists of her opponent. She pulls on those wrists in order to drag Marina’s face forward straight into the rungs of the ladder. She then pulls AGAIN, slamming Marina’s skull into the ladder a second time, then a third and a fourth time. Finally Marina’s wrists are freed but only so that Cassidy can take her by the hair instead. She pulls until Marina is dragged over the ladder and loaded onto her shoulder.
Greyson: No….oh God no….
Sparkles: Don’t do it Cassidy.
Thousands of voices cry out simultaneously as Cassidy prepares to hit a Michinoku Driver from the very top of the ladder. But Marina isn’t about to let her Rumble ambitions…no…her career come to an end like this. She nails an elbow into Cassidy’s temple, and then does so again until she’s able to squirm out of her opposition’s arms. She comes down onto the opposite side of the ladder as her opponent and then reaches up for the barbwire board. She’s got it, but she’s not pulling it down. A thumb digs straight into her eyes, blinding her and leaving her unable to block what follows next. Cassidy takes Marina by the back of the head and now leaps from the ladder into a one handed bulldog.
Greyson: OOOOOH!
Sparkles: That was the NASTIEST bulldog that Sparkles has ever seen.
Frankie: I told you! I told you all that Marina would be in no condition to compete in the Rumble even if she does win this.
Greyson: For the first time in your life, you’re right Frankie.
Frankie: Good, I was right before you lost your virginity.
Marina’s landing was every bit as devastating as one would think. The collision with the canvas has just inflicted irreparable damage on her face, a face that Cassidy feels justified in assaulting given the injuries Marina inflicted on Haze’s nose three weeks earlier. That last move took something out of Cassidy as well, just not enough to keep her down for long. She takes the ladder, closes the spread assembly and then places the structure in the turnbuckle. Banged up as she may be Cassidy pulls her opponent up to her feet and puts absolutely all of her strength into an Irish whip, sending her adversary flying back first into the ladder. Marina hits the rungs with so much force that she actually goes flipping up and over them. Eventually she comes crashing down onto the apron where all her effort is put into convalescing her wounds.
The strain of her impact with the ladder has taken a tremendous toll on Marina, who is now employing the ropes to reach her feet. She’s finally standing on the apron and just in time to catch a ladder as it comes flying towards her face. Cassidy has taken the ladder away from the turnbuckle and is throwing it over the ropes at her adversary. Somehow her opponent has the wherewithal to catch the rungs right before they crack her in the mug. She only makes one mistake though, she is still holding the ladder instead of tossing it aside. This allows Cassidy an opportunity to springboard off one set of ropes, twist in mid-air and dropkick the ladder straight into Marina’s face. The sickening sound of steel hitting skull echoes throughout the arena and the pain from that collision reverberates through the victim’s head. Marina twists from the apron down to the floor where she will no doubt languish. Meanwhile the ladder that smacked her in the mouth has fallen back into the ring and fallen back at the feet of her opponent.
Cassidy puts the ladder up and places it under the barbwire bat swaying high above the ring. After the multiple injuries she’s sustained in this match it takes a struggle for Cassidy to climb but that’s just what she does. She ascends each rung closer and closer to the barbwire board until at very last her hands are wrapping around it. Haze takes down the board, and that means one thing, that her opponent is in for some real SUFFERING.
Greyson: Oh no, ooooooh no, Haze has got it, Haze got that barbwire board.
Frankie: Someone give Marina a white flag to wave. Here, she can use one of my socks.
Greyson: Please don’t take your shoes off, the fragrance is worse than tear gas.
Sparkles: It smells like that cheese that expired two months ago Sparkles found in the back of the cabinet.
Greyson: Which you still ate by the way.
There’s only one thing that Cassidy can smell, the odor of the blood that is about to ooze from Marina’s veins. She descends the ladder with barbwire in her hands and approaches the ropes that separate her from her adversary. An unsuspecting Marina is leaning her back to the apron and pawing at a face that was just crushed by a ladder. Though now that face is about to be hit by something else, the barbwire board that is lowering towards it. From the ring Cassidy is leaning over the ropes and trying to place the barbwire board that is extended between her palms straight into her adversary’s face. The weapon is about to rip into her flesh but Marina realizes the calamity she’s in store for. She reaches out and grabs the board, pushing it back from her face, refusing to see chunks of her flesh hanging from the barbs.
Greyson: Marina fighting it, fighting it for all she’s worth.
Sparkles: She’s been on the receiving end of that barbwire board several times in the past.
Frankie: And the end results haven’t left her looking very pretty. Not that she started out that way *snorts.*
The board is just inches removed from Marina’s skin but she’s still summoning the strength to hold it back. With all the remaining strength that Marina can summon she pulls the barbwire wrapped weapon down and as a result pulls the holder of it over the ropes. Cassidy ends up landing right in Marina’s arms, dangling upside down in a tombstone position. Before she even has a chance to counter her head is being driven straight into the thin ringside mats.
Greyson: OOOOH SWEET BABY JESUS!
Sparkles: A tombstone piledriver completely out of nowhere!
Greyson: And-and-and it ended up driving Cassidy’s head into the mats….which provide very little cushioning.
The tombstone into the ringside area has left Cassidy in maybe the worst shape she’s ever been in, and yet amazingly she’s starting to move, she’s starting to….to….ascend? Yes, Cassidy is already starting to get up in spite of the deadliest of landings on top of her skull. Meanwhile her opponent Marina is throwing the barbwire 2×4 into the ring and then she’s throwing Cassidy inside as well. It’s already been a long and brutal night for Marina, but she’s about to make it much longer for her rival. She springs up onto the top rope then goes sailing across the ring into a twisting back elbow that nails her opponent in the chest. Cassidy is knocked flat on her back for a moment, surprisingly she’s trying to get back on her feet, unaware that she’s putting herself in a precarious predicament. Marina is running into the ropes in front of her adversary, springing from the middle cable and then hitting a corkscrew crossbody.
Greyson: Corkscrew crossbody splash by Marina. She is building some momentum.
Frankie: Use the damned barbwire board you friggin idiot.
Sparkles: Marina might not need it at this point.
Greyson: Especially if she hits THIS.
What is ‘THIS,’ it’s the California Splash, that’s what THIS is.
She is making her way up the turnbuckle with the intention of flying off into the 450 splash. Marina is up on top and she goes diving off, but it’s NOT into the 450. Instead she has to leap frog over the head of her inbound adversary. Haze comes running across the ring and tries to knock Marina off the corner, instead she comes flying off the corner of her own volition. She lunges over Cassidy and lands on her feet while her opponent lands on something else. Cassidy leaps onto the very turnbuckle that her opponent sprung from a second ago. Now it’s Cassidy who is leaping out of that corner, twisting in mid-air to hit some type of splash on her adversary. A splash is made alright, the splash of Marina’s elbow across the bridge of Cassidy’s nose. A corkscrew forearm smacks Cassidy right between the eyes, swatting her out of the air and then down to the ring. Marina rolls to her knees, hands on her thighs and smile coming across her exhausted face.
Greyson: Ever since that tombstone Marina hit outside of the ring she has been absolutely cooking in this bout.
Frankie: If ya smeeeeeeelllll what the Marina is….
Greyson: DON’T!
Sparkles: Copyright infringement, Frankie, copyright infringement.
The only thing that just infringed was Marina’s forearm on Cassidy’s face. There’s about to be a lot more than infringes on Cassidy though, and it’s barbwire. The board that once hung above the ring is now being taken off of it and placed right across Cassidy’s forehead. No, wait, somehow Cassidy still possesses the wherewithal to reach up and block the barbwire from slicing right through the flesh on her face.
Greyson: The roles reversed here. Earlier Marina was fighting to keep that barbwire from mangling her face, but now it’s Cassidy who’s fighting it.
Frankie: Both Marina and Cassidy know just how much that barbwire hurts. It’s like sitting on a cactus. Though Cassidy might actually consider that a form of entertainment.
Sparkles: It’s not as entertaining as it sounds. Sparkles has tried it.
Before Cassidy’s face can become nothing but a pin cushion she forces the barbwire away from her skin and starts to rise from the ring. Both Marina and Cassidy rise to their feet with the barbwire 2×4 between them, both ladies in a tug of war for possession of the weapon. Marina actually pushes the board towards Cassidy, still trying to drive the weapon into her flesh. Cassidy is backed up into the turnbuckle, leaning against it as the barbwire gets closer and closer to her skin. Finally Cassidy lets the board go, but that’s not to say she’s going to let the weapon rip into her flesh. The barbwire goes flying towards her but Cassidy has slid down out of the way avoiding a collision with it. On her way down she grabs Marina by the waistband and gives it a yank, dragging her opponent forward right into the turnbuckle. Wait, Marina doesn’t just hit the corner, but she hits the barbwire board that she had her hands on. Marina bounces off the barbwire and then staggers back pawing at her lacerated and now bleeding chest. She’s so focused on her CUT skin that she doesn’t realize her legs are being CUT out from under her. Cassidy hits her with a lightning spiral, driving the back of Marina’s head brutally into the canvas.
Sparkles: Things have just taken a deadly turn for Marina!
Greyson: First her chest hit the barbwire and now she’s just endured the lightning spiral!
Frankie: Haze has used that move to finish off a lot of her opponents.
Greyson: Is Marina gonna be another one of them?
Marina has endured excruciating pain and is now about to endure excruciating humiliation. She’s caught in a jackknife cover by Haze.
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The fans are screaming as loud as their lungs can possibly allow when Marina gets her shoulder up off of the canvas.
Greyson: The lightning spiral, the impact with the barbwire….
Sparkles: It wasn’t enough to keep Marina out.
Frankie: No it wasn’t, but Cassidy looks like she sees something that WILL keep Marina out.
Like a cat crawling towards a mouse Cassidy moves to the barbwire board that just lacerated her rival’s chest. Cassidy licks the speckles of blood on the barbwire and gets a euphoric response from the taste.
Cassidy: Yummy.
The board is pulled back over her head and now goes swinging towards Marina’s body. The barbwire is about to tear even more skin from Marina but instead all it tears is the canvas she was lying on. Marina rolls clear and the weapon hits the ring. An angered Cassidy finds it difficult trying to free the barbwire from the ring that it’s now embedded into. Marina takes advantage of her adversary’s preoccupation with the board, running across the ring into the ropes. She ricochets off and comes right back into Cassidy….no….into a LADDER. Cassidy gave up on the barbwire 2×4 in order to pick up another weapon that was in the ring, the ladder, and she is now throwing it right into Marina’s face. The steel rungs bounce hard off of Marina’s face and the impact causes her to absent mindedly turn towards the barbwire 2×4 that is still stuck in the canvas. Suddenly Cassidy jumps in behind Marina, catches her by the back of the head and hits her with a one handed bulldog that drives her face straight into the barbwire board.
Greyson: NOOOO!
Frankie: Hahahaha *clapping* that was great, that was GREAT!
Marina’s punctured face bounces off the barbwire and she flips onto her back. Blood is rolling down her forehead and her chest is being covered by her opponent. Cassidy hooks Marina’s leg and growls at the referee until they make the count.
Greyson: Cassidy with the cover after Marina’s face bounced off the barbwire.
Sparkles: If Marina can’t kick out then she’s just lost her opportunity to compete in tonight’s Rumble.
Frankie: “If?” “If” she can’t kick out?
It seems all but a certainty that the three count is coming.
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But Marina has made a career of defying expectations, which is exactly what she does again when she kicks out.
Frankie: *Sigh*
Cassidy snarls when she sees the ref stick two fingers in her face.
Greyson: No Cassidy, it’s not over. You have not bumped Marina out of the Rumble.
Frankie: Marina’s only making Cassidy angry, and you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
Sparkles: Sparkles doesn’t like her when she’s not angry.
Frustration is building in Cassidy, who has hold of Marina’s bangs. She begins to punch the gash in her opponent’s forehead over and over again, opening a laceration even further. Blood is dribbling all down Marina’s cheeks, slowly transforming her face into a crimson mask. Cassidy is about to make sure Marina’s mug looks like hamburger when she pulls her over so that her cheek is rested on the barbwire.
Greyson: Uh-oh, we saw Cassidy do this several weeks ago to her own sister.
Sparkles: She curb-stomped Emily’s face into barbwire and we haven’t seen her since.
Frankie: Please oh please oh please let Marina go into hiding after she gets a curb stomp of her own.
Cassidy puts her boot between Marina’s shoulder blades and she pushes…pushes Marina’s face down directly into NOTHING. To the delight of everyone in the San Siro arena Marina manages to reverse the curb stomp and she does so into drop toe hold. Cassidy falls flat on her face and then finds herself on the receiving end of the Cali Killer. The whole building is rattling as Marina bridges back over her opponent into her version of the Muta Lock.
Greyson: She got it locked in! Marina’s got the Cali Killer applied!
Sparkles: Is Marina gonna do what no one else has ever done and force Cassidy to tap out?
Frankie: Don’t you do it, Cass, just think what your Queen Cindy Todd would do to you if you submit.
Cassidy’s roars are bone chilling and blood curdling, but one thing she will not shout are the words ‘I QUIT.’ Instead of tapping the canvas with her palm she reaches out, grabbing hold of the barbwire 2×4. As Marina exerts all her strength and applies so much pressure on the submission she has no idea that her adversary is grabbing the barbwire and reaching back with it. The weapon grinds right across Marina’s forehead and the second it does the submission is broken.
Sparkles: That’s one way to break out of a hold.
Frankie: The smartest way I’ve ever seen.
Blood continues to trickle, now with more force, down Marina’s face after the barbwire was once again employed on her. She clasps at her mutilated flesh while rolling around and flopping about on the canvas. All the while her rival Cassidy is using the barbwire board as a crutch in order to get back to her feet. She then throws the board down with the intent of using her own hands to mutilate her adversary. She drags Marina up from the canvas and then throws her right into a turnbuckle. Marina no sooner hits the corner before she has to contend with the force that is barreling towards her. Here comes Cassidy and there goes Cassidy. To the surprise of everyone Marina gets her foot up, driving it right into Cassidy’s face. No…wait, Cassidy catches the boot that was about an inch removed from her chin, blocking it from connecting with her jaw. It seems that Cassidy has only staved off the blow intended for her skull though, because now Marina’s planted foot launches into the air and swings into an enzugari that smacks Cassidy in the temple. The blow knocks Cassidy flat on her back and allows a bleeding but resolute Marina an opportunity…a GOLDEN opportunity to get to the top rope.
Greyson: She’s gonna go for the 450 again.
Sparkles: Will Marina be successful with the California Splash this time?
Frankie: Nooooot likely.
Marina was about half way up the corner with her back to the ring before she’s made to pay for turning that back on her opponent. Cassidy blasts Marina right over the spine with a clubbing blow, shutting down her upward momentum. The conniving Cassidy starts up the turnbuckle beneath her opponent now, reaching the middle rope before wedging a shoulder into her adversary’s kidneys.
Dreaded is exhibited by the audience as Cassidy prepares to conclude this brutal Stairway to Hell match and end Marina’s hopes of competing in the Rumble later tonight. Cassidy lifts her opposition into…we never find out…because whatever she had planned has been countered. Instead of being dragged off the turnbuckle, Marina leaps from it. She jumps off the middle cable and then lands on top of Cassidy’s shoulders before hitting an inverted hurricarana. Not only is Cassidy plucked off the turnbuckle but she comes down head first straight on top of the barbwire board.
Frankie: (Squealing) AAAAAAAH!!
Greyson: Un-be-lievable!
Sparkles: Cassidy spiked, not just on her head though…
Frankie: Yeah, cause she landed on the friggin barbwire 2×4 too!
Greyson: Marina could go for the pin, but she’s not-she’s not done.
No she isn’t. Marina might be plagued with injuries and suffering some minor blood loss but she still isn’t finished. She’s returning to her feet and she isn’t doing so empty handed. She’s got hold of Cassidy’s ankle. The crowd knows what’s coming, hence why their cheering their heads off. Marina looks through the blood on her face at all those adorers pleading with her to lock it in. That’s just what she does, rolling a brutalized Cassidy onto her stomach and then trapping her in the Cali Killer.
Greyson: She’s got it cinched in!
Sparkles: The Cali Killer is applied again!
Frankie: You better fight through this Cassidy, you better keep Marina out of the Rumble….or God help you.
Greyson: Actually I don’t think even God can help her when Cindy’s got her in her sights.
There is only one thing in Cassidy’s sights at the moment, the only thing that can free her from this muta lock variant. In desperation she reaches out for the very same weapon that was used to escape this hold the last time.
Frankie: There you go Cassidy, there’s some resourcefulness.
Greyson: She’s got that 2×4 again.
Sparkles: How is she even doing this after she was just given that inverted hurricarana off the turnbuckle?
Cassidy shows remarkable resiliency as she overcomes her pre-existing injuries in order to reach back with the 2×4 and attempt to embed it into Marina’s flesh. However, much to Cassidy’s chagrin she finds Marina TAKING the 2×4. A despondent Cassidy has just handed over a weapon that will all but seal her fate. Instead of interlocking her hands under Cassidy’s jaw in order to apply the Muta Lock, Marina uses the barbwire board, putting it right across Haze’s chin.
Greyson: The Cali Killer WITH the barbwire 2×4!
Frankie: How the hell did that happen?
Marina applies the Cali Killer and uses the barbwire to pull back on Cassidy’s head, the weapon tearing and ripping the flesh from her opponent’s face. There’s only one option available for Haze at this point, tapping out and tapping out instantly.
Hunter: It’s over…My God it’s over!
Frankie: Did Haze just tap out!?!
Sparkles: She did. She had no other recourse but to.
Hunter: Marina is going on to compete in the Rumble. She’s done it. She’s finally put New Eden behind her.
An expression of pain is etched in the lines of Marina’s face, what can be seen of it behind the blood that has dribbled down over her cheeks. It was an exhaustive pursuit but she did it, she managed to overcome one of her toughest opponents to date. She may be languishing, but soon she’ll be celebrating, and she’ll be aided in doing so by her trusted friend Victoria Salinas. Into the ring slides Victoria, who is quickly leaping to Marina’s side and cradling the head of her ally.
Frankie: And here comes the meddling biotch.
Greyson: Victoria Salinas out here to help her bud Marina enjoy the fruits of her labors.
Frankie: You hit the nail right on the head there, these two are clearly a couple of ‘fruits.’
Sparkles: Careful. You’ll have GLAAD in an uproar.
Frankie: Fuck all this PC bullshit. And fuck the two ladies in the ring right now.
Greyson: Like you haven’t tried?
Frankie: And fuck pepper-spray too.
Yet another in a series of career defining victories is enjoyed by Marina. At the moment she’s helped to her feet by Victoria, who has transformed herself into a makeshift crutch. She and Marina are so indisposed with commemorating this moment that they don’t even notice an unwelcomed well-wisher entering the ring. That person is Marina’s estranged agent Tabitha Silverstone.
Greyson: Oh come on now, what’s Tabitha Silverstone doing out here?
Frankie: Her client just won a huge match, doesn’t she have the right to celebrate with them?
Sparkles: Is Marina still Tabitha’s client? Sparkles doesn’t think so. Pretty sure they officially parted ways after it was revealed that Tabitha was behind the kidnapping of Marina’s friend, Andre.
Greyson: A revelation that Victoria was the one responsible for bringing to light several weeks ago.
Tabitha doesn’t care which of her secrets were unveiled weeks ago, all she cares about is joining Marina in this moment. She steps towards her client and reaches out with arms wide open. Those arms never reach Marina, because it’s Victoria’s palm that is holding her back. Victoria gives Tabitha a light shove back and then returns her attention to supporting the banged up Marina. A look of indignation comes to Tabitha’s face, one that is getting closer and closer to Victoria’s ear. Something is whispered….and what that something is obviously sets Victoria off. She turns to Tabitha and doesn’t give her a gentle push this time, no, instead she knocks her straight on her ass.
Sparkles: Oh-ho-ho.
Frankie: Why’d she do that for?
Greyson: Victoria giving Tabitha precisely what she deserves.
Frankie: That’s assault!
Victoria stares down angrily at a shocked Tabitha. The moment that Victoria turns her back on her and returns to the side of her former client, a grin starts to come across Tabitha’s face.
The camera is centered upon a doorway, which leads to Monarchy’s dressing room. There’s the sound of loud music filtering out into the hallway as well as raised voices. The culprits are about to be discovered because backstage correspondent Mark Comeau will boldly go where no man has gone before. He stands just in the corridor clasping a microphone and moving towards the doorway.
Comeau: It’s been one of the biggest nights of the calendar year to say the least, and although we’ve seen quite a few high profile matches here at Last Stand, there’s a lot more still to come. A considerable amount of buzz is circulating around the triple threat match for the IWC brand World Championship. I’m here now to get an interview with one of the three athletes set to compete in that match, Monarchy’s own Taylor Chase…..
Selena: Where is he?
Comeau’s heart doesn’t just jump into his throat, it feels like it’s about to go springing right out of his mouth. He is given quite a startle at the sight of the Snow Queen Selena Frost bearing down upon him. The rightful Queen of Wrestling Champion happens upon Comeau, though he’s not the person she’s looking for. That much becomes evident when we see Selena peering under a table.
Selena: Where’s he hiding?
Comeau: I can only assume you’re talking about Desmond Drake?
Selena: No, I’m talking about Steve Urkel. Of course I’m talking about Drake. The little sawed off runt ran away with MY championship.
Comeau: Sorry, but haven’t seen him.
Selena: (Putting a palm over her mouth and taking a deep breath) There’s no need for YOU to be sorry. There’s only one person who’s going to be sorry by the end of the night, and that someone is Desmond Drake. He thinks he can run…nope, I’ll catch him eventually. He thinks he can hide….that’s not happening, because I’m not the only one who wants to see his arm locked in my Frost Bite. There are a lot of my believers out there, people who want Drake’s puny arm to snap, and want that Queen of Wrestling Title back around my waist.
Comeau: I’m one of the many who would LOVE to see that.
Selena: Well don’t worry, you, and all the other believers will get what they want, and I’ll get what I want too. Drake may think that I don’t deserve the championship, but I know what I deserve, and I know what Drake deserves too. A wintervention is com…..(looking down the hall)…..YOU!
The camera turns to look over Comeau’s shoulder at the sneaky Desmond Drake, who is hiding at the end of the hallway. He gives away his location by peeking out from behind a stack of boxes, nervously looking towards the woman who has been pursuing him throughout the night. The chase continues, Selena going after Drake, who takes off with her Queen of Wrestling Title still hung from his arms. As this all goes down Comeau stands there watching, jaw agape. He’s so fixated on this game of cat and mouse that he doesn’t hear the door opening behind him nor does he see Monarchy member Kat Kelly emerging from the confines of her group’s dressing room. Both the Kat Kelly Championship and a Tag Team Title belt hang over either of her shoulders as she draws nearer to Comeau.
Kat: Maaaark….I knew I recognized that ass…
A slap is given to Comeau’s backside, resulting in his heart skipping a beat.
Comeau: Eeeeeassy….
Kat: Oh, I forgot, I can look but I can’t touch.
Comeau: Right-right.
Kat: I have problems with that. So what brings you here to Monarchy’s (mutters in disdain) dressing room?
Comeau: I was hoping to conduct an interview with Taylor Chase on the eve of her…..
Kat: Triple threat World Title match? Yeah-yeah-yeah, well that’s not happening. Tay’s too indisposed at the moment.
Comeau: Indisposed?
Kat: She’s livin la vida loca. She’s hosting her own soiree…and it’s not like the superkick soirees that my partner Lexy and I have. Speaking of which (looks around), have you seen Lexy anywhere?
Comeau: What do I look like? Dog the Bounty Hunter? Why does everyone just assume I know where everyone else is?
Kat: Chiiiiiillll….(Kat puts her finger to Mark’s lips).
Comeau: (Pushing Kat’s finger away from his mouth) And why is Taylor having a party? Shouldn’t she be focusing on her World Title match against Katelyn Buehler and her own sister Mika Kozlov?
Kat: Hahahahaha, why would she NEED to?
Comeau: Because the two of them are out for her blood.
Kat: Mark-Mark-Mark, you’re almost TOO adorable some times. Listen sweet-pea, Tay is partying because she knows that there is no chance in hell that she doesn’t walk out of Last Stand with the World Championship.
Comeau: But….
Kat: Maaaaark, I’m taaaalking.
Comeau groans but otherwise remains silent.
Kat: Tay’s going to be a FOUR time champ by the end of the night, and me, or maybe Lexy, or maybe Watson, or maybe Orlando, or maybe Alistair, at least ONE of us in the Monarchy are going to win the Rumble.
Comeau: Well in my humble opinion Tay is counting her chickens before the eggs have hatched.
Kat: Relax, Tay’s got this.
Comeau: Alright then, let’s talk about something else…
Kat: Absolutely, I love our conversations Comeau.
Comeau: While I have your ear….
Kat: Like that’s the only part of me you want.
Comeau: Ugh, like I was saying, while I got you here, I have to ask, what’s up with all this censorship….?
Kat: Hold up, let me stop you RIGHT THERE. Don’t you go and make the fatal error of mentioning the name of ‘she who will not be named.’
Comeau: It’s not like I can, you’ve went out of your way over the past few weeks to have Ra…*BEEP* name bleeped out whenever it’s mentioned.
Kat: And what? That makes ME a bad person? Does everyone just forget that she who will not be named walked out on this company? That she who will not be named QUIT the IWC because she was having a temper tantrum? People like her should not be honored with remembrance, they should not be revered in hindsight. Such disgraces should be wiped away from the collective memory banks of all those pervy geeks watching all around the world. That’s why no one will ever be able to mention her name again, and why I’ve redesigned the NHB Title (lifts the Kat Kelly Championship). This belt USED to honor that redneck skidmark, but now it honors class, the Kat Kelly championship honors grace, poise and elegance….
Comeau: I’m sorry, but this is just WRONG.
Kat: Oh?
Comeau: The NHB Title has a storied history. Rac…*BEEP*…defended that belt for TWO YEARS. It’s a record that SHOULD be….
Kat: FORGOTTEN. And believe me, it will.
Comeau: Well, individuals like Aaron Harrison and Mya Denton would STRONGLY disagree with you.
Kat: Do you think the opinions of ‘she who will not be named’s’ former underlings matter to me?
Comeau: Considering that Harrison is determined to take that belt (points to the Kat Kelly Title) from you, I think it WOULD matter.
Kat: They don’t. Harrison doesn’t matter. Mya doesn’t matter. And she who will not be named doesn’t matter. I promise, by the end of the night, each and every one of them WILL be forgotten. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got other business to attend to.
The injuries inflicted on Marina Valdivia are pretty serious, but they aren’t serious enough to keep her sidelined from all the drama. She’s sitting on a folding chair in the back with a towel to her brow, trying to constrict the blood that threatens to come oozing from one of multiple contusions. She is soon joined by her confidante Victoria Salinas, who is holding out a Styrofoam cup of water.
Victoria: That’s some high quality H20.
Jokingly informs Victoria. She doesn’t get so much as a snicker from Marina even when dropping a few Bobby Bushay lines.
Marina: Viccy, you got great bedside manner, but you’re comic timing leaves something to be desired.
Victoria: I’ll work on it. And I’ll work even harder to keep Tabitha from meddling in your business.
Marina literally throws it the towel. The cloth she had been using as a makeshift bandage is tossed to the floor.
Marina: I’m tired of talking about Tabitha….I’m through with her, COMPLETELY. I don’t want to hear one more thing about her, at all. Next person who brings her up is gonna get a good firm kick in the ass. All I want to think about right now is the Rumble.
Victoria: Fair enough. Guess with the two of us being in there tonight we should talk about some type of strategy….
Andre: Daaaaammmn sweetheart….
In walks another of Marina’s best friends, Andre Jordan. The famed athlete comes to a crouch beside Marina with her hand rested on her shoulder.
Andre: What you just did to Cassidy was COLD.
Marina: Was it?
Andre: Loved every minute of it.
Marina: Glad I could put a smile on your face.
Andre: Now that you’re done with her, and with New Eden, you can start thinking about other problems you’ve been putting off.
Marina: Yeah, like the Rumbl….
Andre: Like Tabitha Silverstone.
Marina’s face goes redder than the blood that is trickling from it.
Marina: With all due respect, Dre, I know she had you kidnapped, I know she betrayed your trust, but personally speaking, I’m already finished with her. I’ll have no further dealings with that two faced manipulator.
Andre: I’m glad to hear you’re doing your part, and don’t worry, (pulls something from his pocket) I’ll be doing mine.
A letter is revealed in Andre’s palm, one addressed to Tabitha Silverstone.
Riddick is in his dressing room preparing for his match with Ambrosia later in the Hell in the Cell. As he warms up, the crew member appears in the doorway, still carrying the box
Crew: Mr Riddick?
Riddick: Of course
Crew: I’ve a box for you
Riddick: I can see that, where the fuck did it come from?
Crew: Ambrosia, she said I had to make sure you got it.
Riddick: I see, well you’ve delivered it, now fuck off.
The crew member hurries away, leaving Riddick with the box
Riddick: Probably a box of vipers or something…I should have made that punk open it.
He tears the tape covering it, and very slowly opens the box, leaning backwards in case something leaps from it. When nothing happens, he peers inside, looking even more confused than he was in the first place.
Riddick: What the fuck?
He pulls out a huge vibrator, pink and close to a foot long, Stanley written on it in black marker pen. Riddick’s eyes almost pop out of his head. He reaches inside again, and this time pulls out a black baby doll nightie, holding it up against himself and shaking his head.
Riddick: Not my color
He reaches in again, and pulls out some anal beads, some lubricant, and then a copy of the Kama Sutra, and then finally a piece of paper, the words on it he reads out loud
Riddick: ‘It’s going to be an exciting night tonight lover, and it doesn’t end with the Cell. Afterwards Riddick…that is when the fun will really begin.’
Riddick screws the letter up, and throws it back in the box, packing all the toys back into it.
Riddick: You want to fucking play sweetheart…I’ll play.
All attention has turned from the gifts delivered to Riddick to the gifts about to be delivered by the woman in the ring.
Wilde: Boooooy it’s been oh sooooo long.
Stood in the center of the ring is Jessica Wilde, microphone in her hand and smile on her hand. Amassed around her are a number of her fellow Sinistry members. There’s the masked maniac Executioner, the sophisticated sociopath Benjamin Flynn, and the sadistic servant Siqua, each of them surrounding Wilde and listening keenly to her words.
Wilde: I haven’t taken on ring announcing duties since….god….it’s been years, but tonight everything comes full circle. I guess you can say I’ve gone back to where it all started for me.
Mackie: Sinistry has taken over the ring.
Hunter: And they sent our normal announcer packing.
Dollar: Yeah, it took one look from Siqua to send them running with something squishy in their underpants.
Hunter: But WHY is the question we should be asking.
Dollar: Not only did they take over our ring, but we still haven’t seen our broadcast colleague Sallie since she was abducted backstage by Sinistry as well.
Hunter: What are they up to?
The vocal proponent of the Sinistry is getting to that.
Wilde: But in all the time I spent as a ring announcer never did I have the opportunity to introduce someone that I respect so much, someone that I flat out IDOLIZE, and someone who is DESERVING of such adulation. I’ve introduced World Champions. I’ve introduced hall of famers. I’ve introduced living legends. But I have never introduced a talent the likes of the woman who is about to come down that ramp. A woman who epitomizes everything that wrestling stands for. A woman who makes all those worlds champions, all those hall of famers, all of those living legends I talked about earlier, look insignificant.
A deep-deep breath is summoned.
Wilde: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with tremendous honor that I introduce THE Uprising World Heavyweight Champion….VANNNNNIIIILLLLAAAAA SKYY!
The reaction is…well….a reaction that the likes of Vanilla Skyy deserves…one that she’s EARNED. Walking through the curtains is a woman who doesn’t get much in the way of fanfare considering her choice of associates. One of those associates is shadowing her on the way to the ring at that very moment. Aiken Frost stands behind Skyy and matches her stride down the ramp. Once in the ring Skyy comes to a stop in the center of the semi-circle formed by her Sinistry compatriots. She might be joined in the ring by her fellow sycophants, but the thousands of Italians in the audience are evidently not supporters.
Aiken: My beloved Mrs. Skyy….
Aiken stands at Vanilla’s side and puts his palm upon the World Title belt that is rested over her shoulder.
Aiken: My esteemed champion of SIN, this evening may be headlined by the Rumble, but we refuse to allow this federation to simply ignore you, and the match that should be at the top of the marquee, your championship defense against Gavin Taylor.
Although Skyy couldn’t agree more one couldn’t tell by the blank and rather emotionless expression upon her face.
Hunter: I’m still appalled by the fact that Aiken Frost is now in the corner of Vanilla Skyy and her younger sister Violet. I really thought Vanilla was a champion’s champion, one we could all respect and appreciate.
Mackie: Why can’t we?
Hunter: Because she associates herself with the likes of this malicious mastermind Aiken Frost, who with the aid of his brother manipulated the IWC and seriously jeopardized the future of the federation.
Mackie: I’m still waiting for you to give me a reason as to why I shouldn’t respect Skyy.
Aiken: You, unlike many of those scheduled to compete in the Rumble are a WRESTLER. It’s your aptitude in this ring that should be honored with TRUE main event stature. Unfortunately those in positions of power are blind to this fact, they dishonor you by insisting upon airing the Rumble as the final match on this evening’s card. But they will regret this fact when the Rumble begins to hushed and persistent silence. The crowd will be too shocked, too appalled, and too broken after they witness what you do to your challenger this evening.
Skyy’s cold heart melts with every word uttered by Aiken.
Aiken: In proper recognition of that bout, I believe you should be given a fitting venue in which to hype the decimation that awaits Gavin Taylor. That is why my brother has taken it upon himself to bring you an interviewer that will come to this ring and provide you an outlet for your deadly thoughts.
Aiken’s palm extends out towards the entry way which is now occupied by the before mentioned brother, Ba’al, his enormous bodyguard Decay, his protégé Eve, and the woman caught between all of them, correspondent Sallie. The horrified interviewer is coerced towards the ring, her tiny biceps trapped in Decay’s huge hands.
Dollar: Come on you sickos, take your hands off of Sallie.
Mackie: Let me put my hands on her instead.
Hunter: Sinistry has abducted our broadcast colleague and are actually forcing her to come to this ring and given an interview to our World Champion.
The belt glistens over Skyy’s shoulder and sweat glistens across Sallie’s brow. She nervously stands across from the woman she’s supposed to interview but finds it hard pressed to ask any questions.
Vanilla: Don’t be nervous.
Assures Skyy in a mockingly compassionate tone.
Vanilla: You’re amongst friends.
That’s not a very calming comment considering those friends are the type who would eat their own young if it ensured their own survival.
Sallie: Um-um-um, Skyy….
Vanilla: Go on dear.
Sallie: Tonight, you’re-you’re supposed to defend that World Title (points at Skyy’s belt) against a challenger that has proven in the past that he can take you to your limit, Gavin Taylor. Do you intend to change anything about your strategy now that you head into round two?
Vanilla: Why would I do something so foolish?
Sallie: Because, well, Gavin almost….
Vanilla: He took me to my limit, yes, but that’s ALL he did. He may have made me break a sweat, but he did not break my will and he did not take my title (lifts the championship off her shoulder). I’m simply a better wrestler than Gavin, a fact he’s too stubborn to accept. So I don’t have to change anything, it be stupid to alter a winning formula, wouldn’t it?
Sallie: That’s ummm a fair point, but here’s the lone hiccup. Many would argue that you did NOT outwrestle Gavin during your last defense against him. In fact, and I apologize if this comment offends you, there are a lot of critics who say that the only reason you defeated Gavin is because Willow Wilkes interfered in your title defense.
Skyy’s otherwise pasty cheeks suddenly burn bright red.
Sallie: There’s been a lot of speculation that without outside inference, from the likes of Willow or the Sinistry, that you can’t beat Gavin.
Like the flip of a switch Skyy suddenly becomes composed.
Skyy: Is that what THEY say?
Sallie: It’s popular conjecture, yes.
Skyy: These critics you speak of, have any of them actually stood in a ring with me?
Sallie: No, at least not to my knowledge they haven’t.
Skyy: So then, what merit do their words have? They don’t know what it’s like to face me, and if they did, they would know just how doomed Gavin is later tonight. Of course they think Gavin stands a chance, because they’ve never felt the force of my White Out (points to the boot that delivers her patented pump kick), they’ve never had me hit them with the 30 Days of Night, so it’s no wonder they have such high hopes for my challenger. But….but maybe YOU (puts hand on Sallie’s forearm), could help me show those CRITICS why I don’t need Willow Wilkes jumping out of the crowd and ambushing Gavin to retain my title. Maaaaybe you can help me demonstrate to the nay-sayers the potency of my offence and just how powerless Gavin is against it.
Sallie: I’m not following y….
A lightning fast White Out is unleashed by Skyy with such unholy force that it almost rips the head clean off the poor correspondent’s head. Sallie goes flipping over backwards after being nailed with one of the most devastating moves in Skyy’s arsenal.
Hunter: HEEEY!
Dollar: Oh that was sick!
Mackie: Poor Sallie never saw it coming. She’ll be just like Gavin Taylor tonight.
Hunter: That was completely uncalled for. Vanilla Skyy had no right to do that.
Skyy feels entitled to do a lot, be it kicking Sallie in the head or standing over her lifting the World Championship high above her fallen victim. The jeers of the crowd instantly turn to screams of delight when seeing the man slated to challenge Skyy for the title barreling down the ramp. Gavin Taylor runs and runs as fast as he can for the squared circle, but he doesn’t come alone, cause guess what he’s got with him? A STEEL CHAIR, that’s what.
Hunter: There’s Gavin!
Dollar: And Gavin’s got a chair!
Mackie: Look at the Sinistry scramble.
It isn’t until a chair shot collides right with the upper back of Decay that the rest of Sinistry quickly vacate the ring so as to avoid a similar fate. Skyy is not amongst those who exit the ring, instead she faces off with the dangerous man stood before her even though he has a chair extending from his hands. Gavin points at the title that Skyy is distracting him with. The belt and the woman who holds it have Gavin so fixated that he doesn’t even see Executioner sneaking up behind him. The seven foot masked behemoth blasts Gavin right over his shoulder blades with a forearm before spinning him around into a goozle.
Hunter: Watch out Gavin.
Mackie: Too late.
Gavin is about to take an eight foot plunge when he’s lifted as far as Executioner’s arm will extend above his head. The chokeslam never materializes however, because Gavin’s knee cracks his would-be attacker straight under his jaw. Executioner’s grip is broken and that might not be the only thing as it comes to the giant that is broken. A powerful, skull cracking blow is unleashed with the chair in Gavin’s clutches. It’s a blow so powerful that it sends Executioner staggering back, falling through the ropes then landing at the feet of the rest of the Sinistry. Well, not every member of Sinistry is waiting there to catch Executioner, because Jessica Wilde is on the apron and is waiting to get the drop on Gavin. She goes leaping through the cables and aiming her shoulder at Gavin’s back, but what she connects with instead is his shoulder. Gavin turns around just in time to catch Wilde around the neck and then hit her with a rope hung diamond cutter.
The Cubic Zirconium Cutter drives Wilde’s face down straight into the chair that was dropped to the canvas. Upon witnessing this brutal maneuver unleashed upon one of Sinistry’s stalwarts, Ba’al and Aiken make sure that their World Champion will not be left in the same condition as Wilde. They have their hands around the ankles of Vanilla Skyy are pulling her to the outside of the ring. She drops down between the Frost brothers and joins them as they back away from the destructive force in the middle of the ring.
Hunter: Gavin Taylor throwing some serious heat on the fire of what already promised to be a barn burner of a match between he and Vanilla Skyy later tonight.
Dollar: It’s gonna be more than a barn burner now, when Gavin challenges Skyy for her title it’s gonna get so hot it’ll melt the whole damned city of Milan.
Mackie: Gavin has absolutely no appreciation for what he’s just brought on himself, no appreciation at all.
Gavin divides his time checking on the condition of Sallie and warning the woman who put the correspondent in this condition. He glares over the ropes straight at Vanilla Skyy, and straight at the World Title that is hanging over her shoulder. However, his focus is suddenly redirected.
Hunter: Hey wait a minute, is that who I think it is? Look in the crowd.
Mackie: I try not to look any of these fans straight in their faces.
Dollar: That’s not just any fan Hunter is talking about though.
The person in the crowd is not a fan, especially when it comes to Gavin Taylor. The woman who glares at the challenger for the World Championship is the very same person who cost Gavin his first crack at the belt. Willow Wilkes has just emerged from the bodies gathered behind the barricades and has stopped once she’s reached front row seating. She leans with her forearms pressed to the top of the barrier, eyes ever trained on Gavin’s face.
Hunter: Willow Wilkes is here.
Mackie: She cost Gavin Taylor the World Title several months ago.
Dollar: She had no business interfering in that title bout, she wasn’t under contract.
Mackie: Well she’s got one now.
Dollar: A TEMPORARY contract though. If she wants it to be long term I would suggest she steer clear of Gavin.
Mackie: That’s not happening.
Wilkes continues to eyeball a man she is no stranger too, and a man who wants to be closer to her….or at least get his fists closer to her face. Gavin exits the ring and approaches the barricade that separates him from Wilkes. However, the barrier isn’t the only thing that blocks him from getting at Wilkes, because there are now a handful of security guards keeping Gavin from getting to the former ULW World Champion. A grin comes to Wilkes’ face as she backs up the steps and looks over the shoulders of the security guards who prevent an altercation between Taylor and herself.
Mackie: Gavin better be grateful that security was here.
Hunter: Security better do more than just keep Gavin away from Wilkes, they better make sure that Wilkes doesn’t interfere in Gavin’s World Title match later tonight.
A red faced Gavin stares past the guards who are restraining him, his bulging eyes ever fixed on the woman who screwed him once, a woman he will not allow to screw him twice.
It’s felt like an eternity since Destiny Nichols was rudely denied access to the dressing room of her best friend, Katelyn Buehler. She is still standing in the hallway, pacing in front of the room where Katelyn was dragged by her agent Dan Douglas for the purposes of warping the IWC brand World Champion’s already highly manipulated mind. At last the door to the room opens and the results of Douglas’ brain washing efforts are revealed. Although earlier in the night Katelyn Buehler looked like she was barely able to lift an arm without screaming out in pain she now looks like she could lift an entire Rikishi above her head without so much as wincing. Katelyn walks on out with the World Title over her injured shoulder, showing not even an iota of the pain that once debilitated her.
Destiny: Kate….are you….
Douglas: She’s just dandy.
Ensures Dan Douglas, who has just emerged from the room with the source of his power in hand, a golden talisman.
Destiny: What did he…?
Douglas: I had a long talk with our champ, a talk that helped her forget all about her pain.
He really is proud of himself and proud of his abilities to remove the pain from Katelyn’s mind. What he replaced that pain with were some pretty rosy thoughts, evident by the big smile plastered across Kate’s face.
Katelyn: Ya got nothing to worry about girlfriend, I’m feeling WONDERFUL.
Destiny: You feel wonderful? You almost had your arm taken off three weeks ago by Tay and Mika.
Katelyn: Doesn’t feel like it.
Although her shoulder is still discolored she can move it effortlessly.
Destiny: Is helping Katelyn block out her pain ALL you did for her?
The question is aimed at Douglas, and it’s delivered with a highly suspicious tone.
Douglas: Relax….
Katelyn: What are you guys yammering about?
Douglas: Nothing that should be concerning you. Just keep focused on the World Title match. Now that your body is ready, let’s make sure your mind is too.
Douglas leads Katelyn as far away from Destiny as possible. This time Destiny isn’t the only one standing behind and watching her friends walk off. Stood at a distance, peering around the corner and into the hallway where this whole scene just unfolded is a person very familiar with Katelyn, and that person is Lexy Chapel.
Lexy: (Whispering) The plot thickens.
We’re back inside of the arena and attention is back on the tumbler on the stage, a tumbler surrounded by authority figures. Principle Owner Karen McBride and GM David Helms are on either side of the tumbler that holds so many numbers still waiting to be selected by the entrants in this evening’s Last Stand Rumble.
Karen: So that’s how your champions conduct themselves?
McBride is gesturing to the ring where the World Champion of the UWA brand just assaulted a helpless member of Helms’ staff.
Helms: Karen, you’re hardly one to judge considering your entire security staff were ambushed by Monarchy just a couple weeks ago.
Karen: Good point. So how about we stop all this childish bickering…..
Helms: It’s nice to see you can concede defeat when you know your waging a losing battle.
Karen: I’m sorry?
Helms: Face it Karen, I’ve bested you on the mic just like I’ve bested you in the talent relations department. Sure, you can hint around all you want about bringing a new talent to IWC pilfered from my brand, but we all know it’s nothing but big talk. I on the other hand, have delivered. I brought the goods by acquiring Serenity, a former World Champion, who will now exclusively compete on MY roster.
Karen: Congratulations. You want a medal or something?
Helms: Your envy is the only medal I need. Although, I wouldn’t mind you throwing in the towel not only when it comes to mincing words with yours truly, I think you should just go right ahead and pull all of the members of your roster from the Rumble tonight. I mean, it’s not like they stand a chance, especially when they’re going up against the stars I’ve got participating.
Karen: Go ahead, go on being so smug, because it’s just going to make it all the more gratifying for me when I see that smirk wiped off your face. You can only live in denial for so long Helms, because eventually you’ll have to accept that talents like the one I’m about to bring out here right now is going to win the Rumble after throwing some of your roster over the top rope.
Karen sighs as she turns to the entry way beside her.
Karen: Now I may not be on the same page with the woman I’m about to bring out here but…..
Suddenly Kat Kelly’s entrance music comes ripping through the loud speakers and it cuts off Karen right in the middle of her speech. The crowd are just as unforgiving as the Principle Owner over this interruption. But Kat Kelly is totally obtuse when it comes to the hatred said interruption inspires.
Frankie: Yes! Yes! YES!! It’s the reason I draw breath into my lungs, it’s the reason I thank God that I wake up every morning, it’s Kat Kelly!
Greyson: Yeah, we noticed, and I also noticed that she just disrespected her boss almost as much as she’s disrespected the memory of Ra…*BEEP*. You know, that’s REALLY starting to get on my nerves.
Sparkles: Kat censoring us from ever mentioning, well, Sparkles can’t say her name, but let’s just say it rhymes with Blachel Batum Bee.
Greyson: She’s censored us from ever saying the true name of the person you just referenced, and she censored Karen McBride from giving a proper introduction.
That’s not all Kat does, because although she’s here to draw her number from the tumbler she’s got a little something she wants to say first. The microphone that WAS in McBride’s hand will suffice in allowing Kat to clear her mind.
Kat: I don’t need an introduction, least of all by the likes of YOU (digs finger into Karen’s chest). These people haven’t forgotten me, they haven’t forgotten their KAT KELLY CHAMPION! (Lifts the Kat Kelly Title off her shoulder and into the air) They’ll NEVER forget who I am, Karen, because unlike you, all these Sylvester Stallones in attendance tonight (draws heat for comparing all Italians to Stallone) recognize talent when they see it. Babe, they don’t get more talented than me.
McBride can only roll her eyes.
Kat: I’ve erased ‘she who will not be named’ from the IWC, and right now I’m about to erase the chances that anyone else competing in the Rumble had of winning that match. I’m going to draw my number and get to the back so I can continue partying with the soon to be World Champion, Taylor Chase. So why don’t you turn that little crank on the tumbler, then pop it open and let me take my num…..
Before McBride can do any of the things she was just ordered to do she has to clear out of the way of the body that goes tumbling down to her feet. Kat is suddenly driven down to the ground by none other than Aaron Harrison and Mya Denton.
Frankie: What!?! Why are these bottom feeders attacking the love of my life?
Greyson: Those aren’t bottom feeders, Frankie, that’s Aaron Harrison and Mya Denton, two people with a very close connection to…..she who will not be named.
Sparkles: Last time we saw Harrison and Denton anywhere near Kat they were trying to take that belt formerly known as the NHB Title away from her.
Frankie: It’s the Kat Kelly Championship dammit, and neither Denton nor Harrison have any right to get their dirty hands on it.
They’re about to get their hands on it alright.
Harrison: Grab it!
Harrison directs his orders to Mya and directs his finger towards the Kat Kelly title that is lying on its namesake’s arm.
Harrison: GRAB IT DAMMIT!
Strangely enough Denton looks reluctant to follow through with the end goal. She looks at the belt but she’s yet to take possession of it.
Harrison: What’s wrong with you?
A fed up Harrison reaches down for the gold and it isn’t until he gets his fingers on the strap that Kat’s comrades come to her aid. Out rushes Alistair Taylor and Ryan Watson. Monarchy are coming to the stage and are immediately coming to blows with both Harrison and Denton. A huge brawl has exploded on the stage and in the process of it the belt that brought all these people out here has fallen back into Kat Kelly’s hands. She picks up her title and she takes off with it to the backstage area.
Greyson: Kat escaping with her title while this donnybrook goes on on the stage.
Frankie: Thank God.
Sparkles: Harrison and Denton once again so close to claiming that NHB Cham….
Frankie: IT’S THE KAT KELLY CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
Kat isn’t the only one who goes spilling through the curtains into the backstage area. There are a long line of bodies battling it out through the curtains and into the guerilla position. Harrison is still trading blows with Alistair and Denton is decking it out with Watson as they take their brawl off stage. There are only two bodies left on that stage now, a stunned Karen McBride and a smiling David Helms.
Helms: What were you saying about my ‘inability to control my roster?’
Karen can only groan in response to Helms’ statement.
Helms: Why don’t I show you how this is done?
Where Karen failed to control the combustible elements of his roster, Helms will contrastingly succeed.
Helms: Will the next member of MY roster please come out here to select their number?
It takes little more prompting to get Cassius DeLight to make his entrance. The theme of ‘Business Time’ is playing over the loud speakers and on cue there’s Cassius. Though when he comes to the stage he doesn’t look like the party animal, or the fun loving good sport that we’ve seen in recent weeks. What we’re looking at is a far more intense athlete, one with a point that has to be proven, at any cost.
Greyson: Here’s a young man with incredible upside.
Frankie: You forget one thing, Lovejoy, this guy is an UWA talent. He has NO upside.
Sparkles: Not true. Just look at that head of hair. Sparkles could live in there. Wonder if I’d get cable.
Greyson: Sparkles was right, partially. Cassius is a skilled athlete who has proven over and over again that he’s got what it takes to win in clutch matches.
Frankie: But what clutch matches HAS he won?
Greyson: He could win a BIG one here tonight if he’s victorious in the Rumble.
Frankie: Again, you’re forgetting he’s an UWA talent, he doesn’t stand a chance.
Cassius’ odds of victory in the Rumble could be radically improved based on the number he’s come to the stage to draw. He looks down at the tumbler and then towards the man who just opened it up for him.
Helms: By all means, reach on in there and take your number.
That’s precisely what DeLight does, reaching out, reaching into the tumbler and extracting his number. He doesn’t even pop the ball its inside to see what spot he’ll be coming in at during the Rumble this evening. Instead he just stares ever seriously straight into Helms’ face.
Helms: See Karen, that’s how business is supposed to be conducted, no shenanigans, no chaos, just straightforward….
The microphone is suddenly wrestled from Helms’ hands and finds its way to DeLight’s lips.
Cassius: We’re not finished here yet.
Helms: (Indignantly) Oh we’re not?
Cassius: Listen Helms, no disrespect intended, but I didn’t earn this.
Helms: What do you mean?
Cassius: I can’t put it any clearer than that could I? I haven’t EARNED this. What matches have I won? Who have I beat to get into the Rumble tonight?
Helms: Well, to be fair Cassius, with the exceptions of Alana Starr and Marina Valdivia, nobody won any qualifying matches to get into the Rumble….
Cassius: And nobody but me sees a problem with that? What’s to keep all these people (gesturing to the San Siro crowd) from believing I’m still nothing but a joke? You know what, I’ll open this up to a poll. (Turning from Helms to the fans) Who here tonight thinks I stand a chance to win the Rumble tonight?
There’s a split reaction, though the cynics outweigh DeLight’s most loyal fans.
Cassius: See what I mean. I’ve given these fans no reason at all to believe in me, to believe that I’m nothing more than a wasted spot in this year’s Rumble. That’s about to change though.
Cassius walks past Hems and towards the ring with a microphone and his number in tonight’s Rumble still in his hands. Once in the squared circle his motives become a bit clearer.
Cassius: How are people going to take me more serious? Well how about I do what just about no one else in the Rumble has done tonight, I’ll EARN my way in. If there is anyone back there who wants to be in the Rumble but weren’t given a number, here’s your golden opportunity. I’ll put my spot on the line against anyone back there who wants a crack.
Frankie: Is this guy friggin serious? I think all the hairspray he uses has saturated into his brain.
Greyson: This is a bold move by Cassius DeLight, and I actually respect his decision here. He wants to earn his way into the Rumble.
Frankie: The idiot has a golden ticket in his hands, which is also the nickname for my penis, and I wouldn’t put my cock on the line so Cassius shouldn’t put his number at risk either.
Greyson: What in the fuck are you talking about?
Frankie: I don’t know, I kinda got lost after I started talking about my dick.
Sparkles: This is a very risky and bold move by DeLight, but as we’ve seen over on Uprising this guy has gotten a lot more serious about his career.
Frankie: Well he just sabotaged it.
An attentive Cassius watches the entry way, anticipating someone, ANYONE’S arrival.
Cassius: You know chances like these don’t come around very often, don’t waste this…..
Damion: Baaaaaad decision junior.
Warns the last person anyone expected to accept this challenge. Damion Sommers, a man fired from the UWA a scant two weeks earlier has just stormed to the stage.
Greyson: Damion Sommers? If I’m not mistaken wasn’t this guy fired two weeks ago?
Sparkles: As far as Sparkles can remember Sommers lost a loser leaves town match on the last Uprising. He shouldn’t be here tonight.
Greyson: Nor should Willow Wilkes be in the front row, but that didn’t stop her from being here and losing his job hasn’t stopped Sommers from showing up either.
Helms ain’t happy, he ain’t happy one bit with Sommers being in attendance in spite of losing his job.
Helms: Damion, you’re not supposed to be….
Damion: I don’t give a flying fuck where I’m supposed to be. Two weeks ago you let someone who shouldn’t be making matches force me into a loser leaves town bout. That isn’t fair!
Helms: Weeeell you do kind of have a point there.
Damion: So make it right. Let me go down to that ring and fight not only for my career but for a spot in the Rumble. Give me one more opportunity…..just ONE MORE opportunity.
Cassius: Give the man a chance, Helms.
Helms: Alright-alright-alright, fine-fine-fine. If Cassius wants to defend his number in the Rumble, and you Sommers want a chance to get back on the Uprising brand, then we’ll kill two birds with one stone. I’m making it official, DeLight versus Damion and whoever wins gets into the Last Stand Rumble….that right there is what you call a booking MAGIC BULLET.
He winks towards Karen McBride who has been standing there impatiently, watching this whole scene unfold and pretending to jot down mental notes.
DAMION SOMMERS VS. CASSIUS DELIGHT:
RUMBLE SPOT ON THE LINE
The ring is occupied by more than just Cassius DeLIght and his customary smart-ass demeanor, because now he’s got the company of Damion Sommers and a referee. The official presides over this impromptu bout that both men desperately need to win.
Mackie: I guess we’re getting the honors.
Hunter: Suppose so.
Dollar: Wouldn’t it be so much smarter to just let us call all of the action tonight instead of having the Riot commentators louse it all up?
Mackie: No-no-no, that would be…..what’s the word I’m looking for here?
Hunter: Intelligent.
Mackie: Oh yeah, but I’ll tell you what’s not intelligent, Cassius DeLight putting his spot in the Rumble on the line against a guy who just got fired on the last Uprising.
Hunter: Well if Cassius wins he’ll feel like he’s earned a bit more respect going into the Rumble, and if Damion wins he not only gets into the Rumble, but he gets his job back.
Mackie: Face it though, be realistic. Damion has everything to win here, but Cassius has everything to lose.
The bell sounds in the background as Damion and Cassius tentatively tie up in a collar elbow. The submission is short lived as Cassius switches around behind his opponent and applies a hammerlock. That hold is transitioned into a side headlock followed by a takedown. He keeps Damion down and pressure on his adversary’s neck. The oxygen deprivation does not thwart Damion, who is determined to get back a job he was unfairly fired from. He wraps his legs around Cassius’ neck and applies a head scissors submission. Cassius twists his body around until he’s on his knees and until his body has formed a perfect straight line with his opponent’s. Now Cassius flips forward out of the head scissors hold and into a jackknife cover on Damion.
1
The pin is a very short lived one, because Damion shows some remarkable upper body strength by bridging both he and Cassius off the canvas. The two reach their feet and then Damion swings himself around into a dominant position, straddling the head of his adversary before performing a lightning fast pulling piledriver.
Hunter: Cassius just driven down right on top of his head with a snap piledriver!
Dollar: A SNAP piledriver that may have just caused a SNAP in DeLight’s neck.
The piledriver is followed by a quick lateral press, Damion hoping to make magic happen and in record time.
1
2
A shoulder launches off the canvas and it keeps Cassius from losing out on the Rumble later tonight. A disappointed Damion scowls at the referee before hurdling his fist at his opponent. He drags Cassius up and into an abdominal stretch, but what he’s really doing is exposing the ribs, exposing them to a barrage of clubbing blows. Finally he headbutts Cassius right between the ribs and nearly fractures them on impact. He then puts his hands to his adversary’s spine and shoves him along into the ropes. Cassius bounces off the ropes and comes running right back into a knee that lands against his gut. The shot sends him flipping right over, landing right on his backside and clasping right at his banged up abdomen.
Of course Cassius isn’t the only one going after his ribs.
Damion drops down behind DeLight, grabs his arm and places it in a modified overhead top wrist lock. All the while he punches and punches and punches at DeLight’s ribs. He even takes the point of his knuckle and just begins to twist it between the ribs. Finally Damion wraps an arm around Cassius’ stomach and deadlifts him from the ring then into a Canadian back breaker across his knee. The moment that Cassius falls off the leg of his opposition said opposition falls across Cassius’ chest.
1
2
Again Cassius has to dig deep into the reserves of his strength to get his shoulder up, but that’s just what he does. This aggravates Damion, who is fighting for so much, not just a spot in this evening’s Rumble, but to get back his job in the UWA. He does everything in his power to make that possible, including dragging Cassius to his feet and giving him a stiff kick to the gut. The blow sends his opponent stumbling back into the corner, falling against it. A running knee that connects to his gut ALMOST knocks him down off his feet.
It unsettles Damion seeing his opponent STILL upright, so he takes off into the opposite corner to build momentum behind yet another blow. Damion runs the length of the ring and goes for the clothesline on Cassius’ throat but instead charges straight into a kick to the face. The impact sends Damion stumbling back but trying to maintain his footing, which is going to be impossible when his adversary comes flying off the middle rope into a dropkick.
Hunter: Cassius getting his head back in this.
Mackie: He had better if he wants to keep his spot in the Rumble tonight.
Dollar: He’s really put himself behind the eight ball, he’s in the same position that Marina Valdivia was earlier tonight, only unlike Marina, he risked his role in the Rumble WILLINGLY.
The dropkick on his chest has sent Damion rolling along the canvas and eventually back to his feet. He then stumbles straight into a spinning heel kick that smacks him in the teeth. Once again Cassius has taken his opposition down to the ring and will do so once again. As soon as Damion gets back to his feet he’s removed from them yet again via a running clothesline across the throat. This time Damion isn’t getting right back up, it’s impossible considering that Cassius is dropping across his chest into the lateral press.
1
2
A kick out keeps Damion’s hopes of regaining his IWC career alive. He forces himself up to his feet where he’s taken by the neck and on the verge of being laid out with a DDT. Damion won’t let that happen, he twists himself free from the front chancery and then drags his opponent into a short arm clothesline. That lariat is ducked as DeLight takes off into the ropes. As soon as Damion turns around he finds himself laid out with a spear to the mid-section, driving him down to the ring and driving all the air out of his lungs. Cassius makes another cover.
1
2
Another cover that gets kicked out of.
Mackie: Action staying fast paced.
Hunter: These two are going to keep throwing everything they’ve got at each other here, they can’t afford to slow down.
So they don’t. The action remains accelerated as Cassius forces Damion up to his feet and into another attempt at the DDT. Once again Damion manages to avoid the blow, powering his shoulder into Cassius’ ribs and then shoving him back across the ring. Eventually Cassius’ back hits the corner and the attempt at the chancery is broken. Damion backs away from his adversary and then dashes into a clothesline. However, Cassius gets his boots up only they don’t hit his opposition. This time Damion catches Cassius’ feet before they smack him in the mug. He then throws them aside, causing Cassius’ legs to fly through the ropes and for him to end up seated across the middle strand. A forearm smashes him right between the kidneys, and it won’t be the last blow suffered to his back. Cassius is yanked off the ropes and then into a twisting Regal suplex with the bridge.
1
2
Cassius just barely budges his shoulder from the ring to keep from losing out on participating in the Rumble tonight. Damion looks beside himself, honestly believing that victory was in his grasp. Victory continues to elude him however, but it might not much longer if he hits what he’s got on his mind next. He forces Cassius to his feet and then into the air with a tiger bomb transitioned into an over the knee back breaker. Cassius can’t withstand much more in the form of punishment like this. He tries to put some separation between himself and Damion but he doesn’t get very far.
A handful of his hair is used to drag him back to the middle of the ring and back to his feet where a punch drills him right between the eyes. The shot sends Cassius spiraling around so that his back is facing his opposition. Said opposition places Cassius in a full nelson but not for very long. Cassius squirms through the arms that were trapping him, falls to the ring and reaches up with his legs, wrapping them around Damion’s waist then pulling him down into a roll up.
Mackie: Cassius one slippery son of a bitch.
Dollar: Did he just slip his way into a victory?
1
2
NYYYOH! Damion kicks out before he is unceremoniously bested. The moment the pin is kicked out of Cassius is hurrying to his feet only to be leveled by a throat demolishing clothesline. Once his opponent is taken down Damion makes a throat cut taunt with his thumb, signifying that the end is nigh. A handful of hair is used to pluck Cassius off the canvas and then into a torture rack position.
Mackie: Looks like DeLight is about to regret putting his spot in the Rumble on the line.
Hunter: He’s about to miss out on a major opportunity.
Just as Damion is about to drop down into the torture rack back breaker Cassius counters. He drops down off the shoulders of his opponent, landing right in front of him and trapping Damion’s head in a front chancery in the process. That DDT he had been looking for throughout this contest connects, driving Damion down straight on top of his skull. The impact SHOULD have knocked Damion unconscious but instead it has him popping back up to his feet with a sickening grin on his face. He slaps himself to both cheeks and lets out a bone curdling laugh before unleashing a thrust kick straight to Cassius’ jaw. The blow sends Cassius stumbling back and falling against the ropes. Those cables sends Cassius bouncing back towards Damion, who sets up for a back drop….but sets too early. Cassius reverses the back drop attempt by stepping over the head of his opponent and then lifting him up into the Cashing Out. The package piledriver drives Cassius’ head nearly though the ring.
Dollar: Oooooh daddy, Cassius just dropped Damion straight on his noggin!
Hunter: The Cashing Out connects, but it will pay off?
That question is answered when Cassius hooks both of Damion’s legs and the ref makes the count.
1
2
There was no chance, no chance in hell that Damion was kicking out after the Cashing Out, the pinfall as academic as a scene from an economics course taught by Ben Stein.
Hunter: Cassius retaining his spot in the Rumble.
Dollar: Hope he feels like he earned it now.
Mackie: The only thing he’s earned is a kick in the balls for being as dumb as fuck. You don’t put Baby in the corner, you don’t want to see Bruce Banner get angry, and you don’t put your spot in the Rumble on the line.
Dollar: Got to feel bad for Damion Sommers…..wait….no I don’t, so I won’t.
It was a grueling bout but Cassius has just emerged victorious from it and with his spot in the Rumble. He rises to his feet with his arm raised aloft by the official, enjoying the spoils of a hard-fought victory, though he doesn’t look like he’s living it up to the extent that he should.
Hunter: Cassius still looking as intense as ever.
Dollar: He’s gonna need to channel all of that intensity into the Rumble later tonight.
Hunter: A Rumble that he truly just earned his way into with this victory here.
The halls continue to be stalked by the Queen of Wrestling Champion. A CHILLINGLY ferocious Selena Frost is making her way down the corridor with her eyes examining her surroundings, searching for a certain Desmond Drake and the title belt that he stole from her. The Riot brand commentary team can be heard in the background.
Greyson: Well Uprising’s Cassius DeLight just ‘retained’ his spot in the Rumble tonight, but what Riot’s own Selena Frost is trying to do is ‘reclaim’ her Queen of Wrestling Title.
Sparkles: Earlier on she was supposed to face Desmond Drake for the belt, but he used his army of masked female assassins to distract Selena long enough for him to escape her and to escape with her belt.
Frankie: Selena might as well as just give up. She may have the face of a bloodhound but she’s not going to be able to sniff out Drake’s location.
Selena goes on silently searching for the elusive Drake, her hunt taking her off camera. The show doesn’t cut away from this location though, the camera remaining fixated on a garbage can with a push door lid. Said door slowly begins to open from inside and the viewers can now see the face of Desmond Drake cautiously peering out of his hiding place.
Sparkles: Look-look, its Oscar the Grouch.
Greyson: That’s Desmond Drake, Sparkles.
Frankie: He had to hide in the garbage can to throw off the scent trail.
Greyson: It’s fitting that Drake would be hiding in garbage seeing as he’s a piece of trash.
Sparkles: Well he won’t be able to hide from Selena forever.
There are loud boisterous tones and even louder music filtering out of Monarchy’s dressing room. Anyone within the proximity of at least half a mile could hear the party that is happening just beyond the door that one Mark Comeau is stood just outside of. The correspondent looks annoyed the longer he has to wait to get his interview with Taylor Chase, a fixture of Monarchy and a woman slated to challenge for the Riot brand World Title this evening.
Greyson: Selena searching for Drake, and our broadcast colleague Mark Comeau waiting for an interview with Taylor Chase.
Frankie: If he even thinks of being a gatecrasher, I’ll make sure he pays for it. Tay is in the throes of a party to honor her impending World Title win and Comeau is not to be a party pooper.
Sparkles: Tay and Monarchy getting a little ahead of themselves, aren’t they? She’s still got to defeat her twisted sister Mika Kozlov and her greatest IWC rival Katelyn Buehler, THEN she can start partying.
Frankie: You make it sound like it’s NOT a forgone conclusion that she’s gonna wipe the floor with those two.
Greyson: Because it’s not a forgone conclusion, and hopefully Comeau can remind her of that when he finally gets into her dressing room to conduct this friggin interview.
The crew member runs up to Ambrosia, looking more than a little flustered from the running around. Better that than the alternative however.
Ambrosia: Ah, it isn’t my little assistant. Did you give him my little present…I’ve just realized I don’t know your name
Crew: It’s Darren
Ambrosia: Darren!!! I can’t have someone helping me with the name Darren, who’s called Darren these days anyway? Anyway, did he looked impressed
Crew: I’d call it confused to be honest
Ambrosia: Confused…that’s good. Did he look horny?
Crew: Excuse me?
Ambrosia: Was there a bulge in his trousers, did he masturbate into my lingerie?
Crew: I didn’t hang around to find out
Ambrosia: No matter, I want you to do one final thing for me. Give him this letter for me
Crew: Couldn’t you have given me the letter before?
Ambrosia: No, and unless you gain some kind of pleasure me hanging you from that doorframe by your testicles, I’d suggest that you don’t question me. Now, give him the letter.
She hands him the letter, Darren walking out the room shaking his head.
Ambrosia: Honestly, what do you have to do to get decent staff these days?
When cameras return to the interior of the San Siro, they are focused not on the ring but the Hell in a Cell that hangs above it. The commentators are overheard in the background hyping what will take place inside of those five sides of steel, this house of chaos.
Greyson: Who knows what Ambrosia is up to now?
Sparkles: We’ve been seeing her play some mind-games with her opponent for later tonight.
Greyson: Mind games she might just live to regret when she takes on Riddick inside of the Hell in a Cell. A match that is not going to be for the frail of heart.
Frankie: People with weak bladders better stay the hell away from the television when that match gets started. I’m telling ya, it’s gonna be bloodier than anything ever directed by Meir Zarchi or Dario Argento.
Greyson: Did you just IMDB both those names?
Frankie: Shut your filthy prostitute mouth.
If anything could draw the focus away from the Hell in a Cell it would be the woman now making her entrance to the ring far below it. The tracks of “Satisfied” by Social Code start to play over the loud speakers and that means the world is about to be graced by the Riot brand World Heavyweight Champion Katelyn Buehler. The reaction only gets louder when the show no quit superstar comes striding through the curtains with the title over a shoulder that SHOULD be wrapped in layers of bandaging and braced. Instead that shoulder bares the weight of her title and raises effortlessly in order to lift her title high above her head.
Greyson: This is unexpected. We weren’t supposed to see Katelyn Buehler….YET.
Sparkles: As we touched upon a few seconds ago….
Frankie: You don’t want to know what I was touching a few seconds ago.
Greyson: You’re right, we don’t.
Sparkles: Like Sparkles was saying, we just saw our friend Marky Mark Comeau trying to get a word with one of the challengers for Katelyn’s title in our triple threat main event, but we won’t have to wait to hear from the champion herself.
Greyson: Katelyn headed for the ring and boy does she look to be in really good shape.
Frankie: Perv.
Greyson: No-no, I mean, she looks very healthy.
Frankie: That sounds less pervy, how?
Greyson: I’m just trying to say I’m shocked is all, surprised how good her shoulder looks after what Mika Kozlov and Taylor Chase did to her only a few weeks back.
Frankie: That was nothing compared to what her challengers will do to her tonight.
Once in the ring Katelyn takes a mic but she doesn’t get a chance to use it, The fans are just too damned loud.
Fans: KATELYN! KATELYN! KATELYN!
Instead of trying to silence her supporters Katelyn apes them on, holding out the mic so it can catch and amplify their screams. Finally the mic returns to her lips.
Katelyn: Wow…..just…yeah…WOW!
The crowd indulges even more full on monkey-balls madness.
Katelyn: I haven’t seen people this hyper since my little girls got into that bag of sugar. Boy, you people sure do know how to make a lady feel welcomed.
Some in attendance even start to sing Katelyn’s theme music much to the champion’s amusement.
Katelyn: Yaaaah, leave that to the professionals please. (Chuckles) It sure sounds like you people are ready….Ready to see me get in this ring and kick some spoiled entitled ass!
Yup, they are, hence why they are egging Buehler on.
Katelyn: Before you get to see my elbow break what orthodontists spent years fixing so that Tay-Tay wouldn’t have the type of smile only backwoods hillbillies find pretty, I’ve got to get that whole ‘cheap pops’ thing out of the way. Sooooo, here we go, let’s namedrop the city we’re in tonight, and let’s hear you people scream your asses off. MILAN…
Here come the screams that were requested.
Katelyn:…SCREAM BABY SCREAM!
They don’t have to be asked twice.
Katelyn: I gotta say it, this city is friggin AMAZING! I’ve always heard that Italy was a special place, but now I see just how special it is first hand. And it’s gonna hold a very-very SPECIAL place in my heart after tonight. Oh, by special I don’t mean the type of special Mika Kozlov scores on her IQ tests. No-no, I’m talking the sentimental type of special. Because after tonight I’ll have slayed my dragon. See there’s just one fire breathing bitch with a deeper voice than Smaug that I haven’t been able to bring down, and her name is Taylor Chase.
Here comes the obligatory heat.
Katelyn: I’ve looked for but I haven’t found that one weak spot on her scaly belly that will slay her. For two years every single time we’ve crossed paths she’s left me looking like Lake-town, but here in Milan (pauses for another cheap pop) the curse will be broken. The two year curse will finally end. I’ll grab my black arrow, I’ll plunge it through that thick belly of hers and I’ll beat both her and her sister to retain my World Ti….
Tay: SCREEEEECH! PUMP DEM BREAKS GIRLY!
Kate’s eyes go to the same place that everyone else’s do, to the Cartel-tron positioned over the PPV set. On the screen we see Taylor Chase speaking from the confines of her lavishly decorated dressing room. The walls are graced with a number of party banners reading ‘Congrats Tay,’ and ‘Tay all the way.’ Of course the room isn’t the only thing decorated. There is also a cone shaped party hat sitting on top of Tay’s head and we can see a party horn in her hand.
Tay: Don’t you do it again, Pasty Katie. Don’t you go out there and make promises you couldn’t possibly keep.
Katelyn’s face is showing some color, red to indicate anger.
Tay: Everyone knows you’re destined to live in my shadow, just like Italy lives in Brazil’s shadow when it comes to the World Cup.
No…she….didn’t. The crowd wishes they weren’t frisked for guns before they came into the arena tonight.
Tay: Give up already. Face the truth. Wait-wait-wait, how does that silly little prayer start that you’re supposed to recite as part of your NA recovery?
Oh noooo, Tay just went there, she just took a stab at Kate’s past….and we’re talking far-far past… substance abuse issues.
Tay: (Hamming it up) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. (Rolling her eyes) Is that right? Well maybe you should listen to that part, because well, we all know there are no other aspects of NA that you honor.
Katelyn can only stand there in the ring and shake her head as Tay verbally brutalizes her from the security of the dressing room.
Tay: Accept that you cannot beat me, Kate. I’m always going to be the face that runs this place, and you, you’re always going to be the ass end of this federation. I’m number one, you’re clearly number two, I mean, you do take it in the same place that number 2 comes from, am I right? Hahahahaha. So why don’t you just save yourself the embarrassment of failing AGAIN, and-and-and you know what, why risk having me reinjure your shoulder for what, the millionth time? Just lay down that title of yours and I’ll send one of my friends out to pick it up. That way, I won’t miss a moment of my victory celebration. See, win-win for everyone….but more win for me obviously. Because well, winning is just in my DNA.
The comment is punctuated via a mighty blow into the party horn Tay’s been holding.
Katelyn: As full of it as you are Tay, and believe me, you are…full….of….it, you did get one, just one thing right. ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change’ is part of the NA prayer, buuuut, you neglected to mention the second part. “Courage to change the things I can.’ And believe me, I do have the courage to finally beat you later tonight. Oh and the courage to ruin your party, right now.
On that note Kate goes rolling from the ring. She is intent on being a woman of her word, marching up the ramp with title griped in fists that are clinched, on the verge of crashing Tay’s party by crashing into Tay’s face. Just as Katelyn reaches the top of the ramp a halo of fire starts to form on the ground directly in front of her. Kate stops cold in her tracks as the flames rise before her. Though fire isn’t the only thing that rises through the steel. There is a figure seated Indian style in the center of this ring of flames. Mika Kozlov.
Frankie: Oooooh snap.
Sparkles: It’s the fire-demon Mika Kozlov.
Frankie: And something tells me she’s tired of being ignored.
Greyson: Katelyn attempting to ruin Tay’s victory party, but both ladies have forgotten that Mika is part of the Riot brand World Title match too.
Frankie: Not wise to forget about her, two weeks ago she almost manipulated her way into taking out both Katelyn and Taylor in the same night.
The wall of fire keeps Katelyn away from Mika, who is sitting casually in spite of being parked right in front of a bear more ravenous than one chomping on Leonardo Dicaprio.
Mika: (Wagging her finger slowly back and forth) Tisk-tisk-tisk. Now-now-now, you and my sestra are not being very nice forcing me to sit at the kiddies’ table.
Katelyn: Believe me, Mika, you don’t WANT to be in this conversation.
Mika: Oh but I do. Are you forgetting that I’m challenging for your World Title tonight too? Hmmmm? Have you forgotten that I snapped your arm three weeks ago? Have you forgotten that the last time you lost to Tay-Tay, it was because of me? Have you forgotten that fire ball that I threw in Cindy Todd’s face….?
Katelyn: What does your lover’s quarrel with Cindy have to do with me?
Mika: All Cindy ever did was annoy me, but you, you’re keeping me away from the World Championship. Soooo, you figure it out, connect the dots mishka…
At this point Katelyn would gladly risk walking right through the fire that forms a protective barrier around Mika.
Mika: (Speaking in an almost singsong voice) People ignoring me because they are so focused on my sestra is starting to get reeeeaaal annoying. I’ve run into that problem all my life. Buuuut hey, I can accept some responsibility, maybe I’m to blame for this. Maybe I haven’t done enough to make myself stand out as your biggest threat?
A blast of fire is suddenly spewed from Mika’s mouth and sent hurdling towards the champion’s face. Luckily Katelyn possesses reflexes fast enough to avoid being subjected to the searing of her flesh. She lifts the World Title belt into the air and uses it as a makeshift shield, protecting her face from the force of the blast.
Greyson: Whoa-WHOA! Mika ALMOST just spat that fireball right into Katelyn’s mug.
Sparkles: Just like she did to Cindy Todd two weeks ago.
Frankie: Did some of the fire get to Katelyn?
Greyson: I think she blocked it with her title belt.
Frankie: Damn.
The title drops out of Katelyn’s hands, her fingers slightly singed by the plume of fire that was intended for her face. Now the only thing that is burning is the intensity in her eyes as they focus on Mika, who waves goodbye to the champion. The elevator she used to rise up through the stage now begins to descend, lowering her down through the ring of fire. Katelyn is about to go jumping right through those flames in order to get her hands on Mika, but luckily Dan Douglas interferes. Katelyn’s agent runs from the back, maneuvers his way around the fire and gets to his client right before she has a chance to go jumping into the blaze. He holds Katelyn back from the flames and from the even more dangerous figure in the center of them.
Sparkles: Pun intended here, Mika just added fuel to the fire….
Frankie: Stop-stop….good God stop!
Greyson: That was pretty bad Sparkles, almost as bad as what Katelyn, Mika and Taylor are going to do to each other in the triple threat World Title match tonight.
There’s another blow into the party horn as Tay-Tay truly lives up her pre-victory celebration. It isn’t long before she’s joined in the Monarchy’s dressing room by two figures who made quite the splash in their debuts just a few weeks ago.
Tay: Ladies, it looks like the black sheep of our family is up to no good again.
Cameron and Madison Chase, two more members of the highly influential Chase family stand shoulder to shoulder in front of their sister.
Cammie: Pffffft, as if we’d expect anything else from….
Maddie: Whoa-whoa-whoa….(stepping between her sisters with palms held up)….since when do we have a ‘sheep’ in the family? Dad didn’t, you know, do something strange to a farm animal did he?
Cammie: Maddie, (pinching the skin between her eyes) no….just….no. Stand over here while the adults speak, okay?
Gently guiding Maddie out of the way.
Cammie: (Addressing Tay) So what’s on the agenda for tonight? More wild and wooly escapades?
Tay: Absolutely. This is a night of celebration after-all (blows into the party horn). It just warms my heart knowing that you two, my favorite sisters in the whole wide world, are here to celebrate this milestone with me.
Tay puts her arms over the shoulders of Maddie and Cammie, hugging them both.
Tay: Tonight I become a FOUR TIME World Champion.
Maddie: (Clapping giddily) Yaaaaay!
Tay: I put Kate and Mika in the past once and for all, then the First Lady of Professional Wrestling moves on to the FUTURE…..
Maddie: REALLY? The FUTURE? Cause I made a flux capacitor if that’ll help.
Cammie: For the last time Maddie, you cannot make a flux capacitor out of rigatoni noodles!
Maddie: HEY! If Albert Einstein can create electricity by flying a kite, I can master time travel with rigatoni!
Tay: Ladies-ladies PLEASE! Let’s not forget the focus is supposed to be on ME!
Maddie & Cammie: Sorry.
Tay: Now just so there’s no room for error, you two understand what your role is tonight, right?
Cammie: You know I do, but Maddie probably needs to be told once or twice more.
Tay: Fine, we’ll go over this one…more…time.
Cammie: Just make sure you talk very slowly. For Maddie’s sake.
Maddie: And talk with a pirate accent.
Tay: Why?
Maddie: Because it would be funny, stupid.
Apparently it will take more than getting shoved on her ass to slow Tabitha Silverstone down. In fact, the push that she was given by Victoria Salinas earlier tonight seems to motivate rather than debilitate the agent. Her gums are flapping faster than ever before as she speaks directly to the very same detective she was conversing with earlier tonight. The venue may have changed, substituting one backstage corridor for another, but the topic of conversation remains the same.
Tabitha: So what do we do now?
Detective: Well that all really depends on you. If you’re willing to press charges then…..
Before the Detective can even finish his sentence Tabitha’s hand is going up in front of his face. Though her eyes never rise to look into his, instead their ever fixed on an envelope held in her opposite palm. That envelope is the very same one that Andre Jordan was seen in possession of earlier tonight, one he addressed to his estranged manager.
Tabitha: You better believe I’m pressing charges.
Riddick is walking through the corridors, his match getting closer. He looks like he is ready to fight, the events of the evening just firing him up even more. As Darren approaches, his look changes not to anger, but to murderous intent.
Riddick: I swear son, you play any more games, and I guarantee I will tear you apart.
Darren: I’ve just got this letter, I’m just the messenger.
Riddick: Just give me the letter
Darren hands over the letter, Riddick snatching it from him.
Riddick: Now fuck off.
Riddick unfolds the letter, and reads it, his eyes widening even more.
Riddick: ‘You’ve been stressed; I know how much this match is getting to you and how much you want to get your hands on me. So, meet me in the storage room…fifteen minutes, and I’ll help you relieve that stress.’
He looks at the letter in disbelief
Riddick: I’ll be there…but it won’t be for relief.
Attention has returned to the interior of the San Siro stadium where at that present moment something is at last being done to contend with the disconcerting presence of Willow Wilkes. The former ULW World Champion who had been standing in the front row for much of the night won’t be there for much longer. She wanted an up close and personal view of the Uprising World Title match scheduled to happen in a moment but instead what she gets up close and personal with are a contingent of security guards. Under the auspices of UWA GM David Helms a battalion has been dispatched to deal with Willow before she even has the opportunity to stir up any trouble.
Hunter: Looks to me like something is finally being done about Willow Wilkes.
Dollar: Couldn’t come a moment sooner considering that we’re seconds away from the Uprising World Title match.
Hunter: She interfered in the last one, costing Gavin Taylor the title, she’s not being given the chance to do it a second time.
Mackie: This is bull. Helms invited her to be part of this event, and now he’s having her escorted away from the ring?
Hunter: Helms invited her to participate in the Rumble match tonight, NOT to run interference during the World Title match.
Every precaution is taken to ensure that the UWA World Title bout happens without incident. David Helms is watching from the stage as security walks on either side of Wilkes in the process of escorting her up the steps and to the backstage area. Much to everyone’s surprise Wilkes cooperates. In fact, it’s her willingness to follow the rules that strikes so many as so unsettling. Even Helms looks a bit unnerved by the ease in which the guards lead Wilkes away from ringside. Though he doesn’t spend much time dwelling on it, as the show must go on. He turns back to look over the tumbler that is still planted on the stage between himself and IWC Principle Owner Karen McBride.
Helms: Here we are Karen, on the cusp of our first of three main events.
Karen: I’d have to be lying if I didn’t say I was eager to see your booking prowess at its absolute best.
Helms: Oh yeah, cause Gavin Taylor and Vanilla Skyy are about to give us a match for the title that epitomizes everything that the Uprising brand is about, and what the UWA is going to stand for. But before we get to that bout, I think we should go ahead and bring out the next set of talents to draw their numbers from our handy tumbler here (smacks his palm on the top of the tumbler).
Karen: Ya’ know, since you’ve been such an all-around swell guy tonight, why don’t you go right ahead and bring out a member of your roster?
Helms: That’s being a team player. Alright then, I know there’s been someone waiting in the back who is dying to know where she stands this evening….So Marie Jones, the wait is over.
The crowd gives quite the ovation for the leader of the Ginger Nation, and co-holder of the Uprising World Tag Team Titles. Marie Jones enjoys hearing cheers far more than the cacophony of heckles that once accompanied her. She smiles warmly in response to the favorable reaction that both she and her partner Sophie James receive the second the two of them hit the stage.
Mackie: I’ve always wondered, do the curtains match the…..
Dollar: Keep on wondering that…to yourself.
Hunter: Marie Jones out next to draw her number for the Rumble this evening, and many have already inferred that she’s an odds on favorite to win it tonight.
Mackie: The only part of that statement those people got right was the fact that Marie is ‘odd.’
Hunter: No, the only thing that’s odd is the fact that Marie has yet to capture a World Title in her entire IWC tenure. I mean, she’s always been RIGHT THERE, right at the cusp of taking the championship, but for some reason it just hasn’t happened.
Dollar: Yet! She wins the Rumble tonight and then that momentum might just be the last push she needs to win the World Championship.
As Marie and Sophie approach the tumbler the lid is opened and all the numbers are now at the disposal of the red haired warrior. There is no hesitation shown by Marie, who reaches on in and takes a number right on out. She and Sophie huddle together and hunch over the ball that is popped open to reveal the number inside. Helms tries to get a better look but he gets the Heisman, Sophie putting a palm to his chest and keeping him at arm’s length. Once she and Marie see the number that was selected their cheeks become redder than their hair. Marie is all smiles as she turns towards Helms and politely requests the use of his microphone.
Marie: Do me a favor.
Helms: Depends.
Marie: You just give Gavin and Skyy a message on behalf of the Ginger Nation.
Helms: Doubt they’ll listen.
Marie: Oooooh they’ll listen alright. Because they’ll want to hear who the next challenger is going to be for the UWA Championship. Here’s a hint, they have red hair, ravishing good looks, and the cutest freckles on the planet. No, not Seth Green…..it’ll be Marie Jones.
The Phoenix and the Motor City Bitch are in high spirits, or at least they were before Gavin Taylor’s theme music hits the loud speakers and he just comes walking right through them….literally. The two ladies have to jump back on account of a fired up number one contender storming between the pair as he moves down the ramp, microphone being taken from the hands of Marie in the process.
Gavin: Two years….two years I’ve waited on this night….on this opportunity to prove that I’m an All-Star….that I’m the Best Wrestler in the Universe….that I’m the Franchise Player….and nicknames aside, that I’m a WORLD CHAMPION.
VANILLA SKYY © VS. GAVIN TAYLOR:
UPRISING WORLD TITLE
Hunter: Finally we are here Dave, the match that we have all been waiting for, especially Gavin Taylor. And it’s for the UWA World Heavyweight Championship.
Mackie: After the aborted match a few weeks ago, Gavin has been counting down the moments since Uprising when he found out he would get another shot at it. And you can tell that these fans are ready too.
Hunter: Who is going to begin the new era, when UWA branches out on its own, as the Champion? Vanilla Skyy, or Gavin Taylor.
The lights around the arena begin to flicker as “Whoa Is Me” by Down With Webster starts to play over the arena.
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa
See me decked out from my head to my toe
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa
Everywhere I go I’m a one man show
And the song continues…
Gavin has dropped the microphone at the stage and continues down the ramp, looking far-far more intense than normal as he prepares for the biggest bout of his career.
Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feel it whoa (whoa)
The more I need it whoa (whoa)
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa
Gavin hops right into the ring where he’s already dispensed some justice against the Sinistry earlier tonight, and now looks to take their World Championship.
The song continues…
I cheated to get what I got
Stepped all over you self for my spot
I bet you I’m winning, I bet that you’re not
I bet you don’t see me, I bet you get caught
Gavin opens his jersey, sliding it off his shoulders as he stretches his arms out.
Turning around, he bounces back off the ropes looking up the ramp, eager to get this match underway
Hunter: The All Star has claimed that he was the only person that should be challenging, and he’s done it for several months now. Honestly, can he do it here tonight?
Mackie: Of course he can. I’m not going to lie, Vanilla Skyy is one heck of a competitor, one of the very best, but Gavin Taylor can beat anyone on his day. And Vanilla is well aware of that
Hunter: It’s a really tough one to call no doubt
The sounds of a blizzard can be heard…..
The arena goes dark with only one white spotlight at the entrance way……
it begins to snow inside as the fans look up……
The drum beats begin to play…
Suddenly the screen comes on with a woman holding her hair and screaming, the screen changes to many vantage points….
As “U & UR Hand” by Pink blasts through the arena, Vanilla Skyy comes out from behind the curtain. She looks around the arena as she slowly walks to the ring….
She looks at the fans as she just keeps her focus on the ring. Vanilla jumps up to the apron and she does a back flip over the ropes and into the ring…
She stands in the middle of the ring, puts her hands together in a handgun motion and aims into the camera….
She walks to the corner and sits on the ring floor and rests against the turnbuckle now for the first time turning her attention to Gavin Taylor.
Hunter: The World Champion, arguably the best wrestler in the UWA…it’s a shame we will never see the Uprising and RIOT champion face off.
Mackie: You still might, UWA will still be a part of the Triad and there are always rumblings of a tournament to decide who truly is the best. But tonight you can bet Vanilla isn’t giving that any thought, and that her only mission is to get out of the San Siro with her title reign intact.
Hunter: You can feel the electricity in this place right now, they know that history is about to be made. And following on from everything that has already happened tonight, you’ve got to say this is one heck of a way for the current incarnation of IWC to bow out. This is it and there is our bell, we are underway
Vanilla and Gavin both walk to the middle of the ring, and stalk each other, neither of them making a move on the other. Gavin smirks at Vanilla, taunting her and motioning to a belt around his waist. Vanilla just scoffs at that, and the pair hooks up, Gavin pushing Vanilla back to the corner. The referee moves in to break them up, but Gavin already breaks the hold and takes a couple of steps back, his hands held up. They hook up again, and again Gavin holds the strength advantage and this time pushes her back into the ropes, before looking for a hip toss, Vanilla acrobatically landing on her feet. Gavin then runs in with a lariat which Skyy ducks underneath, Gavin bouncing back and leaping in the air, looking for a flying forearm, but Vanilla ducks again, Gavin hitting nothing but fresh air. Vanilla is on him immediately, tying him up in an arm bar, which Gavin spins through, reversing the move and forces Vanilla’s arm up her back. Vanilla tries to grab the back of Gavin’s head but is unable to, but then spins out herself, pushing Gavin into the ropes and then as he bounces back, lifting him up and into a back drop, and straight into a pin
1…
Gavin kicks out straight away, Vanilla immediately locking his head in, and dragging Gavin to his feet. Gavin forces her backwards and rams her into the turnbuckle, but Vanilla keeps holds, and jumps up onto the first strand, leaping from it. Vanilla is looking for a bulldog, but Gavin puts his arm underneath her and carries her into the center of the ring before dropping her onto his knee, an atomic drop sending a shudder up her spine. Gavin then kicks her in the stomach, Vanilla doubling up which allows Gavin to grab her around the waist and plant her in the center of the ring with a Snap Suplex. Gavin then bounces off the ropes and leaps in the air, landing across her chest with a Leg Drop.
Hunter: The early running was made by Vanilla, but Gavin now in control, and she felt that leg drop for sure.
Gavin picks Vanilla to her feet and then whips her into the corner, Vanilla’s spine crashing into the turnbuckle. He then runs in, leaping in the air, but missing with the Stinger Splash as Vanilla nips out of the corner. As Gavin staggers, slightly dazed by the impact, Vanilla bounces off the ropes, and goes for the White Out, Gavin Taylor seeing it just in time to duck underneath it, his eyes wide open with shock. Vanilla holds up her hand, the smallest of gaps between her thumb and forefinger
Mackie: Vanilla showing Gavin Taylor just how close that was. Vanilla almost shocked Taylor with the White Out early doors
Hunter: That’s the thing with Vanilla Skyy, you never know where she can hit you from, and so you have to be constantly on your guard.
Vanilla runs in with a raised knee which Gavin gets out the way off, grabbing Vanilla around the head he then pulls her into the center of the ring, torqueing on the head lock before running into the rope, jumping onto the second one and then spinning around. Taylor is looking for a bull dog as well, but Vanilla nips out the back of the head lock, and then drives her forearm into the back of Gavin’s spine. Vanilla then bounces off the ropes and executes the move again, this time dropping Gavin down to one knee. Vanilla then hits the ropes for a second time, and leaps in the air, looking to drive her knee into Gavin’s temple, but Gavin jumps up, and out of nowhere wraps his arm around Vanilla’s neck and drives her into the canvas.
Mackie: Real Men Use Lariat’s out of nowhere, Vanilla dropped by one of Gavin Taylor’s signature moves.
Hunter: What a shot, but now he needs to pin her
Gavin adjusts his position and pulls back on Vanilla’s leg
1…
2…
Vanilla kicks out to the delight of her fans, Gavin picking her up and bailing her into the ropes, before nailing her with a knife edge chop
Hunter: Did you hear that?
Mackie: Not as much as Vanilla felt it
Gavin hits her with another chop, and then a third, Vanilla backing into the corner. Gavin drags her out of that corner and throws her arm over his shoulder, and with his leg between hers pulls back for all her is worth
Hunter: Abdominal Stretch from Gavin Taylor, really going to work on Vanilla Skyy now and showing exactly why he should be involved in the title picture.
Mackie: If Vanilla didn’t know she was in a match already, she does now.
Vanilla is asked by the referee if she wants to quit, but Vanilla shakes her head vigorously and makes a move for the ropes, trying to get to safety.
Hunter: Vanilla Skyy will not quit…no danger there
Mackie: She might not have a choice against Gavin Taylor
Vanilla continues to edge closer to the ropes, her finger tips almost touching the strands. Finally with one massive effort she grabs the ropes, the referee immediately telling Gavin to break. This time he doesn’t straight away, and the referee has no choice but to count
1…
2…
3…
4…
Gavin finally let’s go, the referee immediately admonishing him. This distracts Gavin for long enough however for Vanilla to barge past the referee, who doesn’t see her rake his eyes with her nails. Gavin immediately goes to his eyes, the pain agonizing, but all this does is open up his stomach, Vanilla driving her shoulder into his mid-section, before lifting her knee up into his face. As Gavin reels from the onslaught, Vanilla grabs him around the throat and spins around, dropping Taylor into the canvas with a Spinning Neck breaker. Straight away she goes for the leg, unbeknown to the referee using the tights for leverage
1…
Mackie: Oh come on referee she’s got the tights
2…
Gavin Taylor manages to kick out, Vanilla springing up and smiling at Gavin who remonstrates with the referee, pulling at his tights.
Hunter: Taylor not happy that the referee didn’t see that
Mackie: And rightfully so…but of course it’s different when Vanilla cheats right?
Vanilla rubs her eyes, mocking Gavin Taylor for crying to the referee. Gavin doesn’t take kindly to this and runs in, Vanilla easily ducking under Gavin’s right hand and as he spins around hitting one of her own, before leaping up and drop kicking Gavin into the corner. She then walks to the center of the ring and pats her arm, before running in, looking for the Clothesline in the corner. Taylor has scouting it however, and he drops, lifting up with a devastating European Uppercut which lifts Vanilla off her feet and lays her out in the ring. The fans are on their feet; the place split almost straight down the middle with boos and cheers.
Hunter: What a shot out of nowhere, Vanilla Skyy was going for that Clothesline in the corner, but Gavin exploded with a European Uppercut…the Champion has to be out here
Gavin drops to his knees, and pins Vanilla’s shoulders to the mat
1…
2…
Vanilla kicks out to a tremendous ovation, Gavin immediately picking her up and Irish whipping her into the ropes, whilst he bounces off the opposite side, a running High Knee catching Vanilla fully on the jaw. Vanilla runs onto her backside, as Gavin hits the ropes to her side, this time leaping in the air and catching her fully on the temple with his version of the Shining Wizard
Hunter: All: Star Maker from Gavin Taylor, he might have this here.
Mackie: He might, but he’s going up top to make sure, Vanilla Skyy’s title reign in real trouble here.
Gavin reaches the top, and holds his arms aloft, the fans going bananas. He leaps, looking for the Splash to end this match, a splash that possibly would have won the match if it wasn’t for Vanilla Skyy bringing her knees up at the last possible second. Gavin lands stomach first, and are left on the canvas holding his stomach, the pain almost unbearable. Vanilla Skyy however crawls to the ropes, and pulls herself up in the corner, looking down at Gavin Taylor. Taylor rolls, almost to the ropes, and Vanilla sees this, running across the ring and executing a Baseball Slide that sends Gavin straight through the ropes and to the outside. Vanilla immediately follows him, and shaking her head to get some sense back, she picks him up to his feet, ramming his head down hard on the steel security barricade
Hunter: Ohhhh, Vanilla getting aggressive now it seems. She’s had enough.
Mackie: But the referee is counting.
1…
2…
Vanilla whips Gavin into the steel turnbuckle, Gavin just getting his hand up in time to block the inevitable impact. Vanilla runs in, but is met by a shoulder block from Gavin
3…
4…
5…
Vanilla leaps into the air, catching Taylor around the back of the head with an Enziguri, almost sending him over and into the fans
6…
Vanilla grabs Taylor, and once again goes to ram him into the turnbuckle, but Gavin stop’s himself, and lifts Vanilla up, falling backwards onto the apron with a back body drop on the steel ramp
Hunter: Ooooo that’s going to hurt, referee is up to seven
7…
Gavin grabs onto Vanilla, and bails her into the ring
8…
And then he follows her in, stopping the count, before immediately stomping on the World Champion. Vanilla tries to cover up, and the referee admonishes him some more, Gavin taking offence and taking his eyes off Vanilla. Vanilla is up, and sneaks behind him, locking in his arm and with one arm around Gavin’s throat, executing the Triangle Choke
Hunter: Oh my days, Vanilla Skyy with the Triangle Choke, Gavin has GOT to get to the ropes and fast.
Mackie: You think?
The fans are going crazy, and the referee checks the hold, making sure it is legal whilst at the same time asking Gavin if he wants to quit. Gavin predictably refuses and shuffles a little bit closer to the ropes
Hunter: Taylor refusing to quit, the fans loving this match up, Vanilla giving this submission everything she’s got. This is a world championship match ladies and gentlemen.
Mackie: Taylor is almost there Paul, just a little bit further.
Gavin reaches but still isn’t quite there, but thankfully he shifts his body position and makes to put his foot on the bottom rope. The San Siro erupts as the referee tells Vanilla to let go, but she outright refuses
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
Vanilla still doesn’t let go of the move, and the referee shouts at her, demanding she release the hold
Referee: Let it go Vanilla…I’m warning you
1…
Mackie: He’ll DQ her
Hunter: Right now, I don’t think she cares; she cannot lose the title on DQ.
2…
3…
Hunter: This is majorly aggressive from Vanilla…Gavin is about out of it
4…
Vanilla releases the hold finally, and jumps to her feet. The referee points his finger at her, but she pushes him away, mounting Gavin and slamming her fist into his face.
Hunter: We’ve not seen her this aggressive in a long time
Mackie: She’s the champion, and Gavin Taylor is a threat…she knows she has to be aggressive to get it done.
She grabs the back of his head and slams it into the canvas, and then again, before pulling him up and bailing him into the ropes. On Gavin’s return, she nails him with a Spinning Roundhouse Kick, reminiscent of the one Gavin himself uses
Mackie: Did she just do the Dependable Roundhouse?
Hunter: I think she did, and Taylor took the full brunt of it as well
Vanilla nips down, and hooks Gavin’s left arm in a leg scissor, and wraps her hands around his face. She pulls back for all she is worth, Gavin Taylor howling in agony, and trying to ignore the pain that is surging through his upper back and lower neck.
Hunter: She calls this Zero Below…no way is Gavin Taylor getting out of this, not a chance in hell
Mackie: It does look like curtains for Taylor, after what has been an amazing match up.
Hunter: Come on Gavin, fight this…
Boo’s ring out over the San Siro, as eye’s catch sight of the top of the ramp, Willow Wilkes walking out to an eruption of noise. Vanilla lets go of Taylor and gets to her feet, standing at the ropes and daring Willow to come down. Wilkes shrugs, and does start to make her way down the ramp, the referee sliding out the ring to head her off.
Hunter: Oh come on Willow, you ruined the last match between these two, don’t do it again
Mackie: She made quite the impact here without having ever wrestled a match and it looks like she is going to do it again.
The referee stands in her way, telling her to go to the back
Hunter: Yes, that’s right referee…send her away. HOLY SHIT!!!
The camera pans back to the ring, where Vanilla Skyy is stood, focused on Willow. She doesn’t see the figure behind her that taps her on the shoulder. Vanilla spins around, and Serenity nails her in the stomach, before lifting her up onto her shoulders
Hunter: No referee…look
The referee isn’t looking, and Serenity lifts her up and spins, hooking her head as they drop, Serenity nailing the Uprising World Champion with an F5. She quickly slides out the ring and through the fans, as Willow holds up her hands and starts to back off, the referee heading back to the ring
Hunter: I don’t believe it; Vanilla Skyy is out, thanks to Willow and Serenity
Mackie: And look, Gavin crawling into a cover
Hunter: He doesn’t know what happened
1…
Hunter: No, not like this
2…
Mackie: New champion Paul
3…
The San Siro erupts, Gavin Taylor rolling away from Vanilla Skyy, and sitting in the corner. He looks at the referee with total and utter disbelief as the he puts two fingers in the air, Vanilla kicking out JUST before the three count.
Hunter: Unbelievable action…Vanilla Skyy escapes, Gavin Taylor was almost the world champion right there.
Gavin is breathing heavily in the corner, as Vanilla crawls to the ropes, and attempts to pull herself up.
Hunter: These two have put on an unbelievable performance, but they are feeling it now.
Gavin walks over to Vanilla and stamps his foot down into her kidneys, and again, driving his foot hard into her body. He then picks her up, hooking her around the waist. Vanilla slides out and behind Gavin, and then as he turns around instinctively kicks him in the midsection, before this time grabbing a handful of tights. As she goes to lift Gavin however he manages to escape out the backdoor, bouncing off the ropes and looking for the Huge Lariat, Vanilla ducks, Gavin hitting the opposite strand and hurtling back. As he comes back, Vanilla leaps in the air, the Bicycle Motion behind following by her foot crashing into Gavin’s face, both of them hitting the mat hard.
Hunter: WHITE OUT!!! WHITE OUT!!!
Mackie: She caught him…but she’s down as well. These two are absolutely dead on their feet.
Hunter: Vanilla can’t take advantage of the finisher; she has nothing left to give.
Mackie: And the referee has no choice but to count them both…don’t tell me we are not going to get a winner again?
1…
2…
3…
4…
Hunter: This is not looking good, and that is a stupidly long count
Mackie: He doesn’t want to end this match again without a clear winner.
5…
6…
Hunter: Still no movement, I don’t believe this not again
7…
8…
The referee seems to slow down even further, really hanging on the last count
9…
To a huge eruption Vanilla Skyy lifts her arm and places it across Gavin’s chest
1…
2…
3…
NOOOOOOOO, Gavin Taylor lifts his shoulder from the mat, the duration between the move and the pin just too long
Hunter: Taylor kicks out, I don’t know how but he did, and Vanilla is pulling herself up on the ropes. Taylor is trying to get to all fours.
Vanilla traps Gavin’s arm in a leg scissor, and then wraps her hands around his face, pulling back for all she is worth
Mackie: Taylor is trapped, in the center of the ring, he has nowhere to go.
Hunter: He’s got to tap out…he has to
Vanilla continues to pull back on the move, the pain in his in his upper back so intense, and Gavin’s hand hovering over the mat
Hunter: He’s going to tap…she’s got him
But Gavin refuses, his eyes closing as Vanilla applies even more pressure.
Hunter: He’s out…Taylor has passed out
The referee checks on Taylor, and then calls for the bell, the San Siro erupting
Hunter: Vanilla Skyy retains, Gavin Taylor showing such courage, such determination and refusing to tap out, but the pain just got to be too much.
Mackie: I don’t believe it, what a performance from these two individuals…I have to tip my hat to both of them
Vanilla pulls herself up as Gavin comes to, the referee passing her the title belt which she holds aloft. Gavin sits in the corner, watching Vanilla intently as she celebrates with the fans
Hunter: Gavin Taylor came so close, but tonight belongs to Vanilla Skyy. She will kick off the UWA as its World Champion after one heck of a fight.
Gavin rolls out the ring and starts backing up the ramp, the fans applauding his efforts as he does. Although disappointed he turns, and nods his head towards Vanilla, before going through the curtain.
Mackie: Another title victory for Vanilla Skyy…can anyone take this belt from her?
Hunter: I don’t know, but for now she makes history and ends the IWC era as the Uprising World Champion.
Vanilla climbs a turnbuckle and lifts the belt, a huge noise accompanying her.
Hunter: What a champion, and what a challenger…and what a way to head into UWA…can one of our own go to win the Rumble?
Fire burns very-very slowly from the tip of a knotted up piece of paper to the other end held in Cindy Todd’s fingers. In recent weeks she’s become very acquainted with fire, considering that just a few weeks ago she had a ball of flame thrown into her face.
Cindy: I can see why Mika has such an affinity for this.
States the ever calculating Queen of Chaos as her fingers get closer and closer to the flames that have burned to within mere centimeters of her skin.
Cindy: It has so many endearing qualities. Doesn’t it?
She turns her head to speak to the two figures also joining her in the corridor. One such individual is indistinguishable thanks to the black hood and cloak that hangs over their head and their body, concealing their identity. The other individual is being held down by this shrouded figure, her wrists caught in the clutches of her captor, and her stomach bowed over a stack of cinder blocks. It’s her back that is the most visual part of her anatomy, considering that the wrestling gear that once covered it has been ripped away to expose the skin beneath. That skin has been ripped in a number of places and blood is rolling down from the gashes.
Cindy: Mika has made fast friends of fire and I. Now I just got to arrange a playdate between Mika and an old pal of my own.
A barbwire bat is raised into view, the very same weapon that was employed in the Stairway to Hell match earlier tonight. Of course that bout was lost by the very same woman who is currently being forced to kneel over cinder blocks as she’s subjected to multiple lashings. As Cassidy Haze is flogged for her failures earlier in the night she does not cry out in pain, she does not shed a tear, she just kneels there and takes it. Cindy steps towards her torture victim, but it’s not Cassidy that she’s concerned with, it’s the hooded figure holding her in place.
Cindy: Do you think Mika can learn to get along with my friend, like I’ve learned to get along with hers?
The hooded figure nods.
Cindy: Maybe you’d like to help me.
The 2×4 is extended towards this mysterious individual, who takes her hands away from Cassidy’s wrists in order to accept the weapon.
Cindy: It’s time for us to start a fire….
Hooded Figure: Hmmmm…that sounds fun, but you know what sounds even better? (The hood starts to pull back from her face) Starting a scandal.
The face of Cassandra Mason now peaks out from behind the shroud and her playful smile is no longer veiled in darkness.
The Rumble is getting oh so close, and Susie Moore has caught up with one man very hyped to compete in it. If the backstage correspondent could stand, or to be more accurate if she were willing to get off her motorized rascal, she might join Andre Jordan in pacing back and forth through the interview zone. Instead of getting up though, she just sits there and watches Dre like he were a ping-pong ball bouncing from one end of a table to the other.
Susie: Dre, you’re making me sea-sick.
Finally Andre stops pacing and whips around towards Susie, acting as if he just now noticed she was present. In that instant he flicks back the hood of his sweatshirt so he can get a better look at the bubbly correspondent.
Andre: I’m sorry, I’m just a liiiiitlllle amped up.
Now Dre is hopping in place and thumping the side of his fist against his chest.
Andre: The Rumble has got my heart beating like a mile a minute…and look….look at my skin….
Instead of pulling back his hood he pulls back the sleeve of his shirt to reveal his outstretched forearm.
Andre: Look at those….see ‘em, those are goosebumps. Honest to God goosebumps.
Susie doesn’t just look at them she feels them.
Susie: Ewww, your arm feels all smooth and stuff. I like it.
Wisely Andre pulls his arm as far away from Susie as possible.
Andre: When that Rumble rolls around I just start getting….(Dre’s whole body shivers)….that burst of sheer, rrrraaaawww adrenaline….I just get that RUUUUUSH. You feel me?
Susie: I just did.
Andre: No, I mean….Never-mind. Listen Susie, there’s a reason I’m just so damned worked up, because I know every year when the Rumble comes, it’ll bring out the absolute best in everyone who goes to that ring.
Susie: Yourself included. I mean, in the past two Rumbles you’ve put on some of the best performances I’ve ever seen. Two years ago you started off number two in the Rumble and you lasted well over an hour, then the year after that you lasted even longer.
Andre: You’re right. I’m surprised to hear myself say that, but you’re absolutely right. It seems like year after year I hit that ring and I put on a show that will be remembered for a long time, but tonight, I want to put on a show that’s remembered for a LIFETIME. I’m tired of just being the guy who has a great performance in the Rumble, I want to be the guy who wins it.
Susie: Well in spite of our run ins in the past, you have my support.
Andre: You know what Susie, I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you all those months ago, I really am sorry, but I won’t be sorry when it comes to doing whatever….and I mean WHATEVER it takes to stand on that middle rope after the Rumble is over and to point at the Invictus sign hanging from the rafters.
Andre gives a preview of what that’s going to look like, pointing off into the distance with Susie squinting to see what he’s gesturing towards.
Andre: As epic as that moment sounds, and as awesome as it would feel, you know what would be the icing on the cake?
Susie: Buttercream?
Andre: What?
Susie: Vanilla?
Andre: Huh?
Susie: Chocolate?
Andre: No-no….
Susie: Damn. Can I guess again?
Andre: I’ll save you the trouble. The icing on this cake, would be if I were to not only cross paths with the (says with disdain) ICON Orlando Cruze, but throw him right out of my path by tossing him right over the ropes.
Susie: Awww, that’s not nice, Orlando did buy me this rascal.
She joyfully beeps the horn.
Andre: True, but he’s also partially to blame for you needing one. Tonight he answers for that and everything else he’s put myself and so many other people through. He might’ve done everything in his power to avoid a fight with me in the past, but save for eliminating himself from the Rumble, he’s not going to be able to run from me should he be in that ring when my music hits and I make my way down that ramp. Orlando has managed to avoid me before, he’s capitalized on the distractions caused by my FORMER agent Tabitha Silverstone, and the psychotic fixation that Mika Kozlov has had on me. But those distractions are no more….
Susie: Whoooooa, hold it. What do you mean when you refer to Tabitha as your FORMER agent? Are you two on the way to Splitsville?
Andre: We’re there already. The moment I found out that Tabitha was behind my abduction by Mika and her big hairy ox Borislav, our business relationship reached its end.
Susie: Awwww.
Andre: Do I wish she and I could part on better terms. Of course.
Susie: How did you tell her?
Andre: Well….(smirks)….I took a page from Tabitha’s book and I decided to write her a letter.
Susie: Well that was thoughtful of you…..
Susie goes as pale as she goes mute. The rascal she’s seated on begins to back up very slowly from a confused Andre. It isn’t until he sees that Susie is looking past him that he realizes he’s not the one she’s backing away from. Andre turns around to find himself looking straight into the face of Borislav.
Borislav: From Mika….
A heart shaped Valentine’s Card is held up by the brute who oh so faithfully serves Mika.
Andre: From Mika (taking the card)? Well this….is from me.
A punch nails Borislav right across the jaw, followed by another shot, and then another and then another. The blows have Borislav teetering back on his heels. His chest is then lit up with knife edge chops. Dre is just unloading on the man who abducted him several weeks ago.
All cameras have returned to the ring just in time to capture the Hell in a Cell that is starting to lower towards it.
Mackie: Looks like it’s time for all the psychological warfare that been waged between Ambrosia and Riddick to turn PHYSICAL.
Hunter: The two are on the cusp of stepping inside of the devil’s labyrinth and indulging their darkest, most macabre desires.
Dollar: This is gonna get real freaky…real-real fast.
Mackie: Things have already been freaky between these two backstage. And speaking of freaky, we’ve got Karen McBride up there on the stage ready to call out another of her pathetic minions.
Dollar: Well let’s get that over with so we can at last see this Hell in a Cell match get underway.
It’s going to take a lot to veer one’s attention from the Hell in a Cell surrounding the squared circle, but dammit if Karen McBride won’t give it the ole’ college try. There she is again standing on the stage alongside David Helms with only the tumbler between them.
Karen: I know what you’re all asking yourselves right now. Just how much talent can be crammed into one Rumble match? The answer might just surprise you. Helms and I have been bringing out athletes all night long to draw their numbers, but we’ve not even begun to scratch the surface of all the sheer star power competing tonight.
Helms: All of them fighting for either a shot at the IWC or UWA at the most auspicious events of our respective federations.
Karen: David….Dave-o….Daverino……I know you’re still thinking that you’ve got me bent over a barrel. And while it may be true that you took one of my top stars, and you’ve flaunted a SLEW of great talents from your roster by bringing them out to draw their numbers, I’m not waving any white flags just yet. Need I remind you that….
Helms: You’ve reminded me more than enough that you’ve got one of my talents in your back pocket.
Karen: Awww come on, be a good sport, let me rub your nose in it just one last time.
Helms: Just call your next Rumble participant out here so that we can get to the Hell in a Cell already.
Karen: Alright, keep your pants on…
Helms: Don’t concern yourself with the state of my pants.
Karen: (Turning to the entry way) Andre Jordan….STEP ON UP!
Karen advertised Andre Jordan to a rabid fanbase, but she damn sure didn’t deliver.
Helms: Weeeee’re waaaaaiitiiiiing.
Karen: Um, I’ll try this again. Andre Jordan….COME ON DOWN!
Nope, that didn’t do it. There’s still no Andre.
Helms: He’s not showing Karen, and honestly, I can’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to risk embarrassing myself in the Rumble either, which would happen when one of my UWA guys or gals sent Dre flying over the ropes.
Karen: Dre is not the type of guy who backs down from a challenge even if it does risk his health or his pride. I’m sure he’s not out here for a very good rea….
That reason is revealed, and yes it was a good one, cause before Karen can even finish her sentence she has to dive out of the way of a body sent flying to the stage at the hands of Andre Jordan. A huge right hand has just floored Borislav, putting him down to the ground and sending him rolling to the feet of McBride and Helms. The pair are yet again forced to get out of harm’s way and in a hurry to avoid another brawl that has just been taken to the stage. A growling Andre follows the man he just assaulted in the back and just beat all the way out here to the set.
Hunter: There’s Andre….
Mackie: And he brought Borislav along with him? How thoughtful.
Dollar: We just saw Andre beating the crap out of Borislav backstage and now we get to see him do it right here in front of us.
Hunter: Mika Kozlov is probably regretting sending her bodyguard to talk to Andre now.
Dollar: If she doesn’t regret the order, then Borislav damn sure regrets following it.
The multiple blows Borislav has withstood are not enough to keep him floored. He rolls along straight to his feet and then narrowly avoids the punches that Andre aims at his face. The blows are ducked as Borislav shoves his way past Andre and staggers along towards the curtains. To the shock of everyone this powerhouse, this juggernaut, this giant mass of muscle is running?
Dollar: Borislav hightailing it? Seriously?
Hunter: He’s running away faster than Desmond Drake. The two of them should get into a sprinting competition.
Mackie: That’s all Riot guys do….they run from a fight.
Andre Jordan definitely didn’t run, not away from Borislav, and not away from the tumbler that he was called to the stage to reach into. After making sure the coast is clear and there is no Borislav in sight, Dre completes what he was called out here for, grabbing his number out of the tumbler. Dre isn’t even looking at it, not that he’s given much of a chance to. His eyes are veering towards Borislav, who just reemerged from the back, not with violence in mind, but with a heart in his hands. The very same Valentine’s card he TRIED to bestow backstage is once again carried towards Dre, but he’ll have none of it.
Borislav: From Mika….
Once again Dre’s fists smack across opposite sides of Borislav’s cheeks, knocking him towards the edge of the set and ultimately off of it. Borislav drops down to the ground, lands on his feet and then stumbles away from a man who isn’t letting him get away. Dre jumps off the stage into a axehande elbow across the back of Borislav’s neck. He then lands some more strikes across the Russian’s cheek as the two fight their way around the set and then into the backstage area. Cameras go back to Helms, who is pawing at the back of his neck and trying to select is words wisely.
Helms: What the hell was that all about?
Karen: Oh, you know how it goes, another day at the office.
Helms: Fair enough. If we’re talking business, let’s get to it then. I’m inviting another member of my roster out and it just so happens he’s about to face off against Ambrosia inside of the Hell in a Cell. (Looking towards the entry way) Riddick…..let’s do this.
It’s now that Helms discovers Karen’s pain. In spite of being called out Riddick never shows up.
Helms: Yikes, soooome coincidence.
Karen cannot help but to smile.
Karen: Isn’t as easy as it looks is it?
Helms: Come ooooon Riddick, time is money (tapping an imaginary wrist watch). You got a number to grab (points to the tumbler), and a cell to compete in (gestures to the cell around the ring). Don’t keep us all waiting.
Riddick stands outside the storage room, his hand on the handle to the door. He opens it, and peers inside the darkness, before stepping inside.
Riddick: I know you’re in here Ambrosia…enough of the games, this ends, right now.
Riddick then feels a hand grab his wrist, and push him down onto a chair. Quick as a flash he feels his arms being bound behind his back, then a voice through the darkness
Ambrosia: It doesn’t have to be this way Riddick, we could have such fun you and I.
Riddick feels someone walk in front of him, and then what feels like breast’s pressed into his chest.
Ambrosia: I know you want to fight me, but imagine, what it would be like to fuck me
Now it’s another sensation, as he feels her sit on his lap, her legs either side.
Ambrosia: You have imagined it haven’t you Riddick…you can’t fool me
Riddick feels lips press against his, the light switching on and illuminating the room. Riddick’s eyes become accustomed to the light and he sees the woman sat on his lap, probably about seventy years old. By the door is Ambrosia, a huge grin on her face.
Ambrosia: Oh Riddick, I didn’t know you were one for milfs.
Riddick: Get the FUCK off me…
In his efforts to get her off, he falls backwards, the chair splintering
Ambrosia: I’ll see you in the cell Riddick
She walks out the room laughing with the woman, leaving Riddick in the room alone. He wipes the lip stick of his lips, and almost vomits, before snarling at the door.
Riddick: I’m going to fucking tear you in half bitch…mark my words.
RIDDICK VS. AMBROSIA:
HELL IN A CELL
Cameras return to a ring surrounded by the Hell in a Cell and there are now two enemies bound and determined to get one another trapped inside.
Hunter: It’s been one of those nights already, and there is no sign of any letting up. That eerie music and the lights flashing…oh, and that huge structure descending means only one thing
Mackie: Ambrosia and Riddick are about to engage in a bloodbath.
Hunter: You’re not kidding either, this, I think you can call it a feud, has been weird since day one, Ambrosia seemingly in some way obsessed with Riddick.
Mackie: And David Helms realized there was only one way this could end…in the Hell in the Cell. Look at it Paul, it just gives me the creeps
Hunter: It takes years off careers Mackie no doubting that
The screen cuts into static and then a cacophony of different grotesque and bloody images, mixed with headlines from various newspapers of murders, mutilations, rapes and wars as “Feisty Cadavers” by John 5 begins to play.
Stepping out onto the stage, Ambrosia grins sadistically, letting out a scream to the sky as she cracks her neck to the left and right before walking down the ramp, rubbing her hands while a huge grin forms across her face, an almost gleeful look at the carnage that could await.
Announcer: Making her way to the ring, from Lexington, Kentucky, she is the “Harlequin of Hardcore”……AMBROSIA!!!
After her introduction, Ambrosia walks around the ring like a predator surveying the Cell before rolling in under the bottom rope. She looks out at the crowds as she leans forwards on her knees, using the ropes as bars as if she were jailed within, licking her lips hungrily and sneering.
Getting back up to her feet, Ambrosia walks to the corner and steps up on the turnbuckle, grinning sadistically at the fans. Bringing her hands out to her sides, she mocks the fans and then drops back down to the ring before dropping to her knees and letting loose a guttural screams.
Hunter: Strange, Immoral…these are just a couple of words you could use to describe her
Mackie: I’m just going to use dominant. She can hurt Riddick, and I think Riddick knows it.
The lights go out in the arena and a blood red spotlight hits the entrance way as Evil Ways by Blues Saraceno the Justice Remix hits over the loud speaker. Riddick slowly saunters out to the music and without stopping he walks down the aisle with an intense look on his face and a sneer towards anyone who catches his eye. Boo’s rain down from every corner of the arena, but Riddick pays them no attention, almost seeming to enjoy the hatred. Riddick then rolls under the bottom rope and sits up with his hands on his knees and a cold, blank look on his face. He gets up slowly and raises one arm in the air, bringing an even bigger reaction from the capacity crowd
Hunter: Love him or hate him, Riddick is made for a match like this, it suits him down to the ground
Mackie: Not going to argue with that for one second. However, the same could be said for Ambrosia, who I’m hearing the last time she was in this structure set a man alight
Hunter: I think Riddick has been strangely intrigued by Ambrosia, his need to hurt her in some way…erotic
Mackie: I don’t know about that, but I can guarantee there will be no fun and games tonight…no chance.
The Cell continues to descend, finally hitting the arena floor to a huge reaction from the crowd. In the ring Ambrosia licks her lips, as Riddick bounces off the ropes
Hunter: There is our bell…this one is underway, Pinfall or Submission is the only way to win this match, and of course it’s no disqualification.
Riddick walks to the center of the ring cracking his knuckles, as Ambrosia waits in her corner seductively. Riddick motions for her to join him, but Ambrosia beckons Riddick with her finger
Hunter: Already the mind games Dave
Mackie: Of course…that’s what these two have always been about.
Riddick runs in, but Ambrosia ducks under the clothesline, retaliating with a knife edge chop, and then another. She then goes for an Irish Whip but Riddick reverses it and it is Ambrosia who hits the ropes. As she comes back, Riddick scoops her up and slams her into the mat, straight away hooking her around the jaw and into a head lock. Ambrosia doesn’t hang around though and is quickly to her feet, and rams her elbow into Riddick’s stomach, and then again, and then a third time until he lets go. Ambrosia then bounces off the ropes and hits Riddick with a Body Block which staggers him. Ambrosia then bounces of the ropes, and this time nails Riddick with a Clothesline. As Ambrosia bounces off the rope again, this time Riddick ducks under the shot and reaches back, dropping to the floor and bringing Ambrosia’s head down on his shoulder with a Stunner.
Hunter: Oooo, what an impact there…Ambrosia felt that
Mackie: Talk about quoting the obvious…where’s Johnny when you need him?
Riddick is quickly to his feet, and drags Ambrosia to hers, lifting her up and onto his shoulder before walking over to the ring ropes and callously dumping her to the arena floor. Ambrosia hits the mats hard, the air driven from her lungs. Riddick rolls under the bottom rope and picks Ambrosia to her feet, pushing her backwards so her spine is against the ring. He then drives his shoulder into her stomach, and then again, before grabbing her around the waist and spinning around, throwing Ambrosia into the steel mesh.
Hunter: Riddick in the early ascendancy here, Ambrosia taking some punishment
Mackie: I think you have to hurt Ambrosia for her to wake up
Riddick grabs the back of Ambrosia’s head, looking to ram it into the mesh, but Ambrosia blocks it, getting her hand up, before driving her knee into Riddick’s stomach, before bringing it up once again and into his face. Riddick staggers backwards from the impact, as Ambrosia leaps in the air, bringing her fists down on the top of his head.
Mackie: And now Ambrosia fighting back, proving just how tough a cookie she is
Riddick tries to put Ambrosia away, but she is relentless, and she hits him with a right hand, and then another, till Riddick’s back in against the Cell. Ambrosia then runs in, and leaps into a Spear, but Riddick is too quick and sidesteps, Ambrosia’s face cutting into the cell. As she rolls onto her back, the camera focuses on the lacerations on her cheek, both on the right hand side. She doesn’t have time to worry about that however as Riddick is already picking her up, and slamming her face into the steel ring steps, Ambrosia not sure where she is right now. Riddick then grabs her by the seat of her tights and bails her into the ring, before lifting the apron and rummaging underneath the ring.
Mackie: Riddick looking for a weapon folks…and it’s totally legal
Hunter: Yeah but it’s a cell…isn’t that weapon enough?
Mackie: Obviously not.
Riddick finds a Kendo Stick and lifts it aloft, before slamming it onto the steps
Hunter: Uh ho…
Mackie: You can see his intentions, this is not good
Riddick rolls under the bottom rope and tilts his head, watching Ambrosia as she gets to her feet using the ropes. The grin on Riddick’s face tells its own story, and he advances, the Stick held aloft. But Ambrosia suddenly kicks her full on in the groin, Riddick’s eyes rolling to the back of his head as he drops the Kendo Stick and drops to his knees. Ambrosia then runs her finger along one of the cut on her cheek, tasting her own blood, before picking up the Kendo Stick. She holds the stick against her cheek, the blood staining it, before she in one movement brings the stick down on Riddick head, the crack heard around the arena. She then does it again, and then slams it into his back, a huge red mark instantly appearing
Hunter: Ambrosia going to town on Riddick now, and Riddick defenseless after that low blow. I’ve got to say, Ambrosia is probably being even more aggressive here tonight
Mackie: These rumors abound that due to her Father’s incarcerations in Prisons and Hospitals alike, Ambrosia hates cages…and this is one of the most horrific cages of them all
Riddick rolls to the relative safety of the outside of the ring, but Ambrosia follows him, and brings the stick down on Riddick’s fingers as he tries to stand up using the apron. Riddick growls with pain, as Ambrosia then drives the stick point first into Riddick’s stomach. As he stands, she drives her shoulder into his midriff, looking to send him backwards and into the cage, but Riddick slams on the brakes, and then lifts Ambrosia around the waist. Following backwards he releases Ambrosia, who crashes into the Steel Mesh upside down and spine first, before landing really awkwardly on her neck. The crowd is on their feet, the release Suplex devastating Ambrosia inside the Cell.
Hunter: What a counter from Riddick, Ambrosia felt the shot, and then landed awfully on the arena floor; she could have broken her neck Dave
Mackie: But Riddick doesn’t give a crap about that, look.
Riddick pulls Ambrosia up, really struggling to get her upright. He then pulls her up onto the steel steps, and rams her head between his legs.
Hunter: Look at that look on his face, he’s enjoying this
Mackie: He’s got a girl between his legs, of course he is.
Riddick motions for the DDT, but with a huge scream Ambrosia lifts her head, and flips Riddick over, Riddick crashing onto the arena floor.
Hunter: Ambrosia dodging a bullet there, this could have been over.
Mackie: But now what is she doing?
Ambrosia is now rummaging under the apron, and she pulls out a bag.
Hunter: We’ve seen this before Dave…the bag of tricks as she likes to call it…bag of tacks to us.
Ambrosia rolls Riddick into the ring, and then holds the bag aloft, the fans cheering, knowing what she is about to do. She opens the bag and then throws the tacks across the mat, making this match even more deadly than it already is.
Hunter: Ambrosia has just made this match five times more dangerous if that was possible.
Riddick gets to his feet, but immediately Ambrosia is on him, and she kicks him into the stomach, dragging his arms up and placing his head between her legs. She then leaps in the air, and drives Riddick’s head into the mat, and indeed the thumb tacks, the camera panning into Riddick’s face, several of the tacks stuck in his cheek and forehead. Ambrosia doesn’t hang around however, and slams her foot into his face over and over before dropping down, pinning his shoulders to the mat
1…
2…
Hunter: Riddick kicks out, but the pain he must be feeling right now…just wow. And there was that unadulterated aggression from Ambrosia again. She’s in danger of losing it altogether here
Mackie: And now where the hell is she going?
Ambrosia has the Kendo Stick once again and is climbing the turnbuckle. But from behind Riddick sneaks up, and lifts her off the turnbuckle, dropping backwards and slamming her with a back body drop into the tacks. Ambrosia lets out a scream of agony, as now Riddick hooks the leg
1…
2…
Ambrosia kicks out, but Riddick mounts her, and forces the stick down on her throat, choking the life from her.
Hunter: Oh come on referee…get in there. This isn’t HOW, we don’t murder people here
Mackie: Cheap shot Paul
Hunter: I know this
Thankfully Riddick releases Ambrosia from her predicament, but ruthlessly brings his elbow into the side of her temple, and then again, Ambrosia bordering on the unconscious.
Hunter: Those MMA style elbows really hitting their mark, Ambrosia needs to get out of this.
Riddick lifts Ambrosia to a vertical base and then whips her into the ropes. On her return he lifts her up, and then falls backwards, howling with pain from the tacks embedding in his skin, but at the same time hanging Ambrosia on the top rope. Riddick reaches back, pulling out the tacks he can reach, before pinning Ambrosia once again
1…
2…
Ambrosia kicks out, and Riddick lifts her up, bailing her through the ropes and to the outside.
Hunter: This match has been everything we expected and so much more…two competitors putting everything on the line.
Mackie: Not a lot of wrestling in this match up that’s for sure, just a pure old fashioned shoot out.
Riddick pulls Ambrosia up, and scoops her around his waist, standing just above the ring steps. He drops, landing a Sidewalk slam on the ring steps, Ambrosia’s spine taking ALL the impact. Riddick picks out a few more tacks, and then starts to climb the inside of the cage, Ambrosia laid out on the steps.
Hunter: Now what the hell is going to happen, Riddick climbing the cage…Ambrosia out of it? I dread to think.
Mackie: I think I know
As he reaches the top of the cage he slaps his forehead a couple of times, before looking down as Ambrosia who still hasn’t moved. The electricity in the building builds as he hangs onto the cage, before leaping from it, looking for a Diving Head-butt. At the very last possible moment, Ambrosia rolls off the steps, Riddick crashing into the steps, his forehead taking every ounce of impact. The fans are on their feet, as Ambrosia lies on the arena floor, Riddick motionless by her side.
Hunter: No count outs Dave…the referee is powerless.
Mackie: Ambrosia is moving…on my God, I cannot believe this.
Ambrosia gets to her knees, trying to get some semblance of where she is. Ambrosia looks down at Riddick who still hasn’t moved, and rolls him onto his back. Immediately the camera catches the huge cut that snakes across his forehead, blood still gushing from it and pooled on the arena floor.
Hunter: Oh God…that is horrible
Mackie: I’ve commentated on this industry for a long time, and that has to be one of the worst cuts I have seen.
Ambrosia leans over Riddick, looking at the cut, sneering as she gets closer and runs her tongue along it.
Hunter: Ewww
Mackie: She is one sick, sadistic puppy…no arguing that
Ambrosia seems to like the taste of Riddick’s blood, and she lifts Riddick up, and with some struggle rams his bloodied head into the steel mesh, the mesh ripping into Riddick’s skin once again.
Mackie: She is totally relentless
Riddick drops to one knee, but then staggers upright
Riddick: COME ON YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!
Hunter: What the…?
Riddick motions for her to attack, Ambrosia blowing him a kiss before running in, slamming a forearm into his face. Ambrosia lifts her arms aloft, but once again Riddick gets up, and again, motions for her to attack.
Mackie: Riddick is totally, bat shit crazy
Ambrosia runs in, and goes for a Clothesline, but Riddick manages to duck. As he spins around however, Ambrosia drops to her knees, and bites, yes, bites Riddick in the groin. Ambrosia pulls away, blood covering her mouth, almost snarling, before running in. Riddick ducks underneath a right hand and then lifts Ambrosia into a fireman’s carry, using every last ounce of strength he has. He spins around, and accidently smashes Ambrosia’s skull into the steel ring post, before running forwards and driving Ambrosia’s skull into the steel mesh. He then takes a couple of steps back and does it again, this time dropping Ambrosia to the floor, his legs giving way as well.
Hunter: This is off the chart
Mackie: And Ambrosia is busted open as well, those mesh shots have done the damage, but Riddick is in no state to take advantage.
Hunter: He’s lost a lot of blood; his strength has to be sapped. I don’t know how any of these competitors are still conscious.
Mackie: The courage these two have shown tonight is unbelievable, and really fitting of the very last dual brand PPV.
Riddick is the first to move, and wipes the bloods away from his face, and pulls himself up on the apron. The effort to do so is extraordinary, and it is with almost disbelief that he sees Ambrosia getting up as well. She crawls up the ring steps, until she is somehow able to put her legs underneath her, and she throws her hair away from her face, her eyes meeting Riddick’s. For a moment, the tension is unbearable, until finally, and amazingly, the pair of them smile at each other through bloodied teeth, Riddick even going as far as to give Ambrosia a respectful nod. The respect doesn’t last however, as they walk towards each other and start to trade blows, the both of them taking turns to land hammer blows.
Hunter: I cannot believe that I’m seeing…they should hate each other but there seems to be a respect.
Riddick seems to take the ascendancy, and lands a right, then a left, Ambrosia’s head snapping back on her shoulders. Riddick then leaps in the air and rocks her with a Huge Superman Punch which sends her back, and towards the Cell, her back towards it. Riddick picks up the steel steps and runs forwards, driving them into Ambrosia, the Cell buckling, and then breaking, Ambrosia and Riddick breaking through and to the outside.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME CLAP CLAP CLAP THIS IS AWESOME
Hunter: This is unbelievable Dave
Mackie: I know…can we please employ people who make cells stronger?
Riddick gets to his feet and picks up Ambrosia who is totally out of it, but all of instinct she drops to her knees, dropping Riddick’s head on top of hers. She then rams his head into the steel security barricade, before heading to the Cell and starting to climb
Hunter: And now where is going?
Mackie: She’s going to the top Paul, and it looks like Riddick is following.
As Ambrosia gets halfway up, Riddick gets to his feet and starts to climb. Ambrosia reaches the top and then rolls on her back, before getting to her feet and trying to stamp on Riddick fingers as he reaches the summit
Mackie: That is a long way to fall Paul…he wouldn’t survive that, no way.
As Ambrosia brings her foot down, Riddick sweeps her feet away, and as she loses her balance and falls onto the Cell, he uses that opportunity to pull himself up. Ambrosia rolls backwards before nipping up to an upright base, but Riddick is already there, and he drives her face into the machinery that brought the Cell down from the rafters. The blood starts to flow from her already lacerated head, and she loses her balance, almost falling from the Cell to the arena floor.
Hunter: That was nearly curtains; it’s very precarious up there
Mackie: I can’t believe this match is still going, I really can’t.
Hunter: What the hell is Riddick doing?
Riddick takes a few steps back, patting his forearm
Mackie: He’s going to Clothesline her from the top…we are about to witness a death
Riddick runs in, looking for the Clothesline which Ambrosia ducks instinctively ducks underneath. Riddick just manages to stop himself from tumbling from the top, putting on the brakes, but then realizing his predicament spinning around. Ambrosia from nowhere fires off her Super Kick which catches Riddick under the jaw, and sends him flying from the top of the cage
Mackie: INCOMING!!!!!!
Hunter and Mackie scurry away, as Riddick crashes straight through the announce table, and lays in amongst the splintered table. The arena is in absolute shock, including Ambrosia who kneels on top locking down. It takes a moment for the announce team to retrieve their headsets, until eventually they speak
Hunter: Can you hear us…on we on?
Mackie: Did you just see that shit…Riddick is broken, he hasn’t moved a muscle.
Hunter: And Ambrosia is climbing down…
She gets about halfway down the cage, before stopping, a look of total and utter horror on her face. She leaps from that position and splashes across the prone body of Riddick, squealing as she does.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!!!
Ambrosia holds her midriff, obviously in pain herself, until she grabs the leg of Riddick and pins his shoulders
1…
2…
3…
Riddick doesn’t have the strength to escape, and they both lay amongst the wreckage as the EMT’s rush down to ringside.
Hunter: Ambrosia wins it, Ambrosia gets through this match tonight, but at what cost.
Mackie: These two put their bodies on the line, and then some to get the upper hand…what a match
Ambrosia gets to her feet to a roar from the crowd, and she makes her way around the ring, her legs almost buckling.
Hunter: I can’t believe she is still standing…and thankfully the EMT’s are helping her. She deserves this reaction right now
Two EMT’s get either side and help her up the ramp, as the others look after Riddick, looking to place his on a back board.
Hunter: I think there is some real concern here for Riddick…is he scheduled to be in the Last Stand Rumble?
Mackie: If he is…I dread to think what will happen.
Riddick pushes the EMT’s away, and tries to pull himself up on the barricade, the fans actually giving him some applause as he now makes his way around the ring, collapsing to his knees halfway around. This time the EMT’s do indeed get their way, and get him onto the stretcher, and up the ramp.
Hunter: Riddick just fell from nearly twenty five feet, how the hell was he still walking?
Mackie: I have literally no idea…
Hunter: This feud has just come to a brutal and bloody end…who knows what will happen next…when Last Stand continues.
The camera cuts to Riddick and the EMT’s heading through the curtain
It’s almost time, the Rumble is just seconds away and apparently Marie Jones is really liking her placement in it. She sits in the locker-room overlooking the number she drew from the tumbler moments ago. Meanwhile her partner Sophie James lingers in the background. Marie wearily glances back over her shoulder.
Marie: Sooooo, you gonna give me one of those win one for the gipper speeches?
Sophie: Wouldn’t that be just a wee bit predictable? Besides, from the looks of it (pointing to the number in Marie’s hand) you don’t need any speeches. Thoooough I could start singing Eye of the Tiger if you REALLY need the motivation.
Marie: Ehhhhh, I’m good. Besides, I’m more of a Hearts on Fire kinda girl.
Sophie takes a seat next to Marie and takes on more of a serious disposition.
Sophie: I know you can do this Marie. Last year you made it to the final three in the Rumble
Marie: Weeelllll final two, depending on who you ask.
Mason: Wouldn’t count on repeating that type of performance this year….
Eyebrows arch about as close as they can possibly get to the hairlines of Marie and Sophie. Neither lady is quite sure what to make of the man who just marched into the locker-room, a spandex clad Mason Van Stanton. It isn’t often that we see Van Stanton in wrestling attire, and that’s for very good reason considering his arms and legs are thinner than cornstalks. The only part of his anatomy that seems to be flattered by this tight fitting singlet happens to be in the crotch region, wait….no, that’s a giant protective cup he’s got stuffed in that area.
Mason: You see, Marie, you don’t stand a chance of lasting till the final three in the Rumble, or winning the Rumble. Look at this…LOOK AT IT!
He points to his arm and the nonexistent bicep.
Mason: You think you can match up with THIS? Not happening.
He flexes his bicep, which resembles nothing more than a raised mosquito bite protruding from flesh. A kiss is planted on that muscle, or what little bit of muscle is visible.
Mason: See you out there…..or wait, you better hope I DON’T!
Almost before Mason can make a full exit from the locker-room Marie and Sophie burst into a fit of hysterics.
Sophie: I needed that.
Marie: You know he was being serious, right?
Sophie stops laughing.
Sophie: That’s…..sad.
Cameras go straight to the set where David Helms and Karen McBride remain. The pair are clearly appalled by the levels of sheer barbarism they just witnessed within the Hell in a Cell. Luckily neither of them have a squeamish stomach, meaning they can continue on with the task at hand. The tumbler keeps spinning between them and goes on getting emptier and emptier the closer we get to the Rumble.
Helms: It’s not often that I’m rendered….speechless. (Gestures to the Hell in a Cell and the ring that it once surrounded) What we just saw defies words.
Karen: I can think of one or two….Disgusting. Depraved. Demented. Deranged.
Helms: Yeah, but those words really don’t give what we just witnessed in that Hell in a Cell justice, now do they?
Karen: And to think, we’ve still got even more yet to come. Because in a few minutes the Rumble is FINALLY going to happen.
The crowd cannot wait….they want the Rumble and they want it right frackin now.
Helms: Alright-alright-alright, we’re getting real close to the Rumble now Karen, which means our working relationship comes to an end.
Karen: Yeah?
Helms: So wouldn’t now be a good time to let the genie out of the bottle?
Karen: I’m afraid I don’t…..oooooh, you want me to go ahead and reveal what chess piece I took off your board.
Helms: Enough beating around the bush, just drop the axe already and let me know who you lured away from my roster?
Karen: You little eager beaver you…nuh’ uh….not happening….
Helms: Karrrreen….
Karen: No-no, don’t try sweet talking me. I’ll reveal my latest talent acquisition when I’m ready to do it. Right now you and I have a few more members of our respective rosters dying to get out here and draw their numbers. Sooooo, let’s not leave them waiting any longer.
Helms: You’re going to tell me who you cherry picked from Uprising.
Karen: What I’m going to do is call out another entrant in tonight’s Rumble and that person is…
Obviously not the one she was thinking it would be. One can see the lines of distress become far more pronounced in her face when she hears the lyrics of Miss Jon’s theme music pumping through the loud speakers. Karen’s heartbeat is quickening at the sight of the planet sized Miss Jon stomping to the stage with her agent Martin Howe III orbiting about her body. Jon and her satellite head right towards the tumbler and the unfortunate Principle Owner stood beside it.
Howe: Mr. Helms (shaking Helms’ hand), Mrs. McBride (taking Karen’s fingers and forcing them to his lips), we know we’re not who you two were expecting, but we just had to come out and commend you both on producing what has been a fantastic event thus far. Especially you, Mrs. McBride….can we call you, Karen, I think we’re close enough to drop formalities now, right?
Karen: I don’t think so, and I don’t think I appreciate this interruption…..
Surprisingly McBride does not shy away from the monstrous Miss Jon, who damn near crushed her face several weeks ago with an ‘accidental’ spinning back fist.
Howe: Oh I’m sorry, no-no-no, please don’t misrepresent our intentions. We’re not out here in order to stir the pot, or to grandstand, or for any motive other than doing you a solid Karen.
Karen: I’m eager to hear an explanation.
Helms: Aren’t we all?
Howe: I know you’re still leery to trust Miss Jon and I after that unfortunate miscommunication several months ago….
Karen: Miscommunication? Your client almost knocked out my bicuspids.
Howe: And I assure you that Miss Jon is very sorry that she did that. But I believe we have more than made up for our past transgressions. My client has proven that she has turned her life around, and rather than continuing to be an agent of chaos, she is now a bringer of peace. She only wants to help, which is why we’re here. Three weeks ago Miss Jon offered her services to be a peace keeper, and after what we just saw happen out here with Andre Jordan, we know those services are desperately needed. Therefore, Miss Jon and I will remain right here (points to the stage under his feet), until the Rumble commences to ensure that there will be no further violence threatening you’re well-being…Boss
Karen: As much as I appreciate that….
Howe: Just let me remind you that we only ask for one thing in return, your consideration when it comes to the title matches that Miss Jon has patiently been waiting on for several months now.
Karen: I’m not….
Helms: As entertaining as this all is, I still have a member of my roster eager to draw their number from the tumbler. So if you three don’t mind, I’m going to bring him on out.
Karen gives a very distrusting stare to Miss Jon and Howe, but opts to deal with them later instead of creating a scene now.
Helms: Danny Darko….the stage is yours.
And he doesn’t wait to take it. Darko’s theme music is playing over the loud speakers as he makes his way out through the curtains. His focus only briefly veers to the murderous Miss Jon stood beside the entry way and the annoyingly arrogant agent hovering about. Ultimately Darko’s attention is on the tumbler that Helms has taken the liberties of opening on his behalf.
Greyson: Another huge prospect for the Uprising roster coming out here and selecting his number.
Frankie: Danny Darko’s chances of winning the Rumble tonight are about as slim as him modernizing that haircut of his.
Sparkles: Why mess with what works? Darko’s a sleek looking son of a bitch.
Frankie: Nothing works for Darko, Sparkles. His marriage to the Uprising World Champion is over, and he’s lucky to even still be walking around after he was beaten half to death by Trinity Street.
Greyson: Luck has nothing to do with it, the man is just incredibly tough and equally as resilient. Darko has survived a lot, and he’s more than capable of surviving until the finals of the Rumble this evening.
Sparkles: Could the sleek Danny Darko be the next Rumble winner and move on to earn a shot at the UWA World Championship?
Darko extracts a number from the tumbler but that’s not all he wants. He requests the use of Helms’ microphone.
Darko: Don’t worry, I’m not going to say or do anything hinky….
Howe: I wouldn’t advise it.
Miss Jon steps up behind Darko, threatening to impose her will all over him. Darko merely smirks in response to the ever present threat of this enormous monstrosity.
Darko: Relax Big Time, I’m not going to cause any trouble. I just want to say that my motives for winning the Rumble tonight are strictly altruistic. I owe an immeasurable debt to Vanilla Skyy, and it’s one that someday in the future I hope I can repay. (Looking down at his number) Maybe winning the Rumble will go a long way in making amends to Skyy….
Frankie: Yuck. Even more of this do gooder brouhaha?
Sparkles: Sparkles has no idea what Darko is talking about.
Greyson: That makes three of us.
Darko: But Skyy is in my future, there’s someone else who needs my help right here in the present.
As promised Darko does not cause a stir, he maintains civility on his way into the backstage area.
Helms: Well, how about that? No violence, no chaos, no interruptions….
Karen: I’m just as surprised as you are. Maybe it’s the start of a trend.
Helms: Better late than never.
Howe: You can thank Miss Jon for keeping Mr. Darko in line.
Karen: I don’t need your help, and furthermore….
The booming sound of a party horn echoes all throughout the San Siro stadium. Karen couldn’t look any more aggravated when hearing this sound and when seeing the two people responsible for producing it. Out from the back strolls Madison and Cameron Chase, and they are all decked out for some festivities. A cone shaped hat sits on Maddie’s head and a party horn protrudes from Cammie’s lips.
Frankie: Hoooolllly Jesus, it’s the Chase sisters. How much am I drooling?
Sparkles: Don’t worry, Sparkles brought along this bucket for you.
Greyson: We saw Cameron and Madison Chase return to the IWC three weeks ago to aid their sister Tay-Tay. But their roles moving forward have yet to be explained.
Sparkles: Well maybe Tay-Tay will embellish.
Frankie: No explanation needed, just enjoy and savor this moment. We’ve got three…ooooh golly….THREE Chase sisters. It looks like that birthday wish I made last year finally came true.
Frankie’s wishes aren’t the only wishes the Chase sisters are here to fulfill. Much to the dismay of McBride, Helms, Miss Jon and Howe, it would appear that Madison and Cameron have commandeered everyone’s attention.
Maddie: Party time….excellent….
Cammie: Alright peeps, settle down-settle down-settle down, save up your energies, because we know with those heavy guts of yours and those clogged arteries that you can only stand so much excitement.
Maddie: You’ll need all that energy to cheer for our sister, the woman who brought us here, the woman who is about to win the Riot World Championship, the woman who is taking Cammie and I out for slushies in celebration.
Cammie: Less about the slushies and more about Tay, okay?
Maddie: I can go on for hours about slushies.
Cammie: Before you people get Tay, before you people see her win the World Title, before she indulges the masturbatory fantasies of a worldwide viewing audience, some introductions….or I guess some re-introductions are in order. If you’ve forgotten who either my sister or I are, then you really need to choke to death on a corndog right now.
Maddie: That’s almost happened to me so many times.
Cammie: This (gesturing to Maddie) is America’s Sweetheart, THE most charismatic wrestler living today, this is Madison Chase!
Maddie hops around excitedly clapping for herself.
Maddie: This (gesturing to Cammie) is the Alpha Bitch, this is Cameron Chase!
Cammie employs a bow with one arm swept out to her side and other extended across her stomach.
Maddie: And when combined with our sister Tay-Tay, we form ULLLLLTTTRA CHASE!
Cammie: The Chase sisters together mean there’s a world of hurting coming the IWC’s way.
Maddie: It’s gonna be so much fun.
Cammie: That fun starts right now. In a minute Tay-Tay will be on her way, and Maddie and I are going to make sure she walks out of Italy as a FOUR time World Champion.
Maddie: We’re gonna help her, and she’s gonna help us.
Cammie: No one is going to stand in the way of that either. Right McBride?
The Riot Principle Owner hasn’t had a very good working relationship with Taylor Chase or Monarchy, and it would appear that she’s not going to get along with Maddie or Cameron too. Right now Karen just keeps her cool and keeps out of the way.
Maddie: Enough about you though, McBride. This is an A-B conversation, so C your way right out of it.
Cammie: The moment is here, the moment is now, it’s time for the party to get started, and the honored guest of this evening’s festivities, the soon to be World Champion…..TAAAYLOR CHASE!
The crowd isn’t nearly as enthusiastic as either of the Chase sisters. The lyrics of “Boss’s Daughter” are playing over the PA system and when Taylor Chase makes her way out from the back she gets the reaction she truly deserves. There is a roar of such disapproval that Tay remains oblivious to. She steps between Maddie and Cammie, and then all three simultaneously blow kisses to the crowd. Soon thereafter they interlock arms and walk side by side by side down the ramp.
Frankie: I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now. Having all three Chase sisters come to the ring together is like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving all rolled into one package.
Greyson: You might be excited to see the Chase sisters, but I’m excited to see the triple threat World Title match that Tay is scheduled to compete in coming up ne…..
Karen: Waaaait a minute.
McBride wasn’t going to bite her tongue forever, instead she’s going to put her teeth into something else.
Frankie: Stay out of this McBride, or I’ll have no other option but to kick you straight in the cunt.
Greyson: It looks to me like Karen has stood back and watched enough of this unfold.
Sparkles: There’s been way too much chaos under her watch tonight already.
An incredulous Karen steps to the top of the ramp, looking down at the three Chase siblings who were already at the halfway point.
Karen: You three ladies give a whole new meaning to the word ‘delusional.’
Maddie: Ha! Jokes on you, Karen, because I don’t even know the original meaning of that word.
Tay and Cammie bury their faces in their palms.
Karen: If you thought I was just going to stand here and let you two (pointing out Cammie and Maddie) interfere in your sister’s World Title match, then you’ve got more than just a screw lose. As of this moment, Cammie, Maddie, you’re both barred from ringside during this title bout.
Cammie: You cum guzzling….
Tay grabs her sister by the forearm and tries to quell her anger.
Tay: Alright then, why don’t you send security out here to remove my sisters…..ooooh, that’s right (smirking), you’ve got NO security. At least none that are willing to tangle with Monarchy. Ain’t that so?
Just when it seems that McBride has been forced into a corner, it’s Martin Howe III and Miss Jon who come out swinging.
Howe: You don’t have McBride in quite the pickle you think you do.
Puts a hand on Karen’s shoulder before it’s swiped away.
Howe: She might not have security, but what she does have is a PEACE KEEPER. Miss Jon, (looks at his massive client) do Mrs. McBride a favor and escort these two ladies away from the ring.
Miss Jon makes her way down the ramp, drawing nearer and nearer to Cammie and Maddie. Both Chase sisters are gearing up for a fight, only the situation never has a chance to escalate into a full scale brawl. Tay doesn’t just take Cammie by the arm this time, she also grabs Maddie by the wrist.
Tay: Relax. I’ve got this.
After getting the nod from Tay both Cammie and Madison willingly walk off. Miss Jon follows the two all the way up the ramp and into the backstage area. Before they vanish completely through the curtains Maddie and Cammie share a few choice words with McBride. Tay walks alone to the ring with a smile still on her face, confident in her abilities to win this World Title bout even without the aid of her siblings.
Frankie: I swear, I’m gonna punch Karen directly in the ovaries.
Greyson: Tay’s going it alone, she doesn’t even have her sisters or Monarchy with her this time.
Sparkles: That’s just how it should be. Because now we’ve got a FAIR triple threat bout for the title.
Frankie: You call this FAIR? This is about as biased as biased can be!
KATELYN BUEHLER © VS. MIKA KOZLOV VS. TAYLOR CHASE:
RIOT WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
Although Tay should be annoyed, she isn’t. It doesn’t bother her that her sisters were barred from ringside, ever confident in her own abilities to get the job done. In fact, she doesn’t even watch her sisters escorted to the back by Miss Jon and instead fixates on her fingernails.
Frankie: In spite of all the torment Tay has been put through by the IWC top brass, she looks totally unaffected. Isn’t it amazing?
Greyson: No, it’s not amazing, it’s just as McBride said, it’s ‘delusional.’ Tay is delusional if she’d rather stand here fixing her nails than mentally readying herself for what her opponents are going to throw at her.
Sparkles: The last time Tay fought Mika Kozlov it was in a Barbwire Steel Cage match that set the bar at a whole new high for violence.
Frankie Yeah, but who won? Tay, that’s who.
Greyson: The last time Tay took on our World Champion Katelyn at the End of the Year Special, Buehler survived everything that Tay threw at her.
Frankie: Yeah, but who won? Tay, that’s who.
Greyson: There’s no doubt that she’s had success against both of her opponents in singles competition, but in triple threat action there’s no telling how well she’ll fair.
We’re about to find out as the tunes of “I Started A Joke” begin to play over the loud speakers. Fear is exhibited from everyone in the San Siro stadium and for good reason, because the highly unstable, every bit deranged Mika Kozlov is on the cusp of making her entrance. Now Tay starts to feign some interest in something other than her nails.
Greyson: The vicious and volatile Mika Kozlov making her entrance to the arena, hence the goosebumps all over my arms.
Sparkles: Sparkles’ hair just turned white.
Greyson: It’s always been white.
Sparkles: Oh, well, it’s whiter.
Frankie: You guys knock it off, you got nothing to worry about, Tay is going to neutralize her sister, just like trailer park Kate used that title belt to neutralize that fireball Mika tried to spit in her face earlier.
Greyson: Mika didn’t take too kindly to being overlooked and she did something to make sure the focus was right back on…..uhhhh, speaking of which, I’m hearing that something is going down right now between Mika Kozlov and our World Champion backstage.
There hasn’t been a bell, but there is already some violence. The triple threat World Title match hasn’t commenced, however, two thirds of that bout aren’t about to wait to get physical. Mika Kozlov and Katelyn Buehler are trading strikes with one another as they spiral through a corridor. Meanwhile Katelyn’s agent Dan Douglas is standing in the background clasping to a talisman and enjoying the fight he’s witnessing. He’s very happy, much like thousands of others, to see Mika getting exactly what she deserves. Katelyn dishes out the punishment that her rival has coming her way, swinging forearm after forearm across the back of Mika’s head. Kozlov responds with some haymakers, cracking Katelyn across either cheek.
Greyson: Looks like Mika and Katelyn are picking up right where they left off earlier.
Sparkles: They just couldn’t wait any longer could they?
Frankie: They were about to fight each other in like ten seconds.
Greyson: That was ten seconds too long after everything these two put each other through building into this title match tonight.
The power of Mika’s punches have Katelyn reeling back on her heels and almost losing her footing. Here comes Mika’s knuckles flying at her adversary’s jaw, no, flying right past it. Somehow Katelyn is able to side step the punch hurdling at her skull and then take the advantage. She grabs the back of Mika’s head and gives her face a CRUEL introduction to a nearby catering table. The impact rattles the brain of Katelyn’s demented foe and sends Mika twisting along into the guerilla position.
Greyson: Their coming our way guys.
Frankie: Why don’t they just fight it out in the back and let Tay have the World Title forfeited to her?
Greyson: Because all your dreams do NOT come true.
KATELYN BUEHLER © VS. MIKA KOZLOV VS. TAYLOR CHASE:
RIOT WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
The curtains on the stage have flung open and Mika Kozlov’s body is stumbling through them. She looks dazed by the punches but is going to be downright dead on her feet after being stricken with a thrust kick. The World Champion continues to unleash her wrath on Mika, as Katelyn smacks her upside the head with a kick so forceful that it sends her rival cascading to the stage.
Greyson: There’s going to be nothing left of either of these two before the World Title match even gets underway.
Tay likes the sound of that and enjoys what she’s seeing even more. She watches from the ring as Katelyn stands over Mika and repeatedly blasts her crawling prey over the upper back. Meanwhile, just behind Katelyn’s back something starts to form that would take her attention off her opponent if she had noticed it. Fire….a ring of it, starts to ascend through the steel and nip at the heels of the Champion.
Sparkles: What in the….is that fire?
Greyson: What’s causing this?
Frankie: There’s fire coming out of the stage, the very same type of fire Mika tried to throw in Katelyn’s face earlier.
Greyson: Mika HAS to be responsible for this.
It isn’t until the fire kisses Katelyn’s ankle that she realizes what’s consumed the stage. She turns away from Mika and towards the blaze that has risen all the way to her knees. Katelyn manages to step back and avoid being consumed by the flames, flames that surround a vacant and deep pit. The depths of this hole are about to be discovered. Suddenly Tay comes running up the ramp, only to come to a stop at the mid-point once she’s gotten Katelyn’s full attention. This distraction allows Mika to regain her footing and run in behind a unfocused Katelyn, nailing her with a double axehandle so forceful over the upper back that it sends her tumbling through the ring of fire and into the hole that it surrounds.
Greyson: MIKA JUST…OH GOD SHE JUST….
Sparkles: Threw Katelyn straight into the pits of hell.
Frankie: Katelyn sent to hell like the demon she is, and now the angelic Taylor’s odds of winning the title have just soared to whole new….
Greyson: Ugh, shut up Frankie.
Sparkles: What has Mika done? Why did she throw Katelyn in that fire?
The screams within the San Siro are downright harrowing at the sight of Katelyn’s body flying through the fire and into the shallow grave. This demise gives new life to either Mika’s or Tay’s title ambitions. They continue right where they left off all those months ago in the Barbwire Steel Cage, trading punches right off to the side of the ring of fire. Mika and Tay go on exchanging shots much to the delight of the thousands in attendance. The brawl keeps on going all the way down the ramp, but doesn’t spill over into the ring, instead it spills right over into the audience.
Greyson: Their going at it! Tay and Mika! Mika and Tay!
Sparkles: These two have been on a lifelong collision course.
The fans have to get out of the way and get out of the way in a hurry as Tay and Mika brawl right out amongst them. Much to Tay’s dismay she finds herself overwhelmed and out matched by the sheer power and velocity of Mika’s punches. The blows finally knock her totally off of her feet and onto her seat, landing across the lap of a stunned, but appreciative fan. That lucky young man isn’t nearly as fortunate as he thought, because a chop is delivered with such force across Tay’s chest that it knocks both she and the man she was seated on top of to the floor.
Frankie: I’m gonna punch Mika in the fallopian tubes and then kick that fan who just molested Tay right in his colon.
Greyson: At this rate you’re going to be fighting the entire world, Frankie.
Frankie: I’ll burn the whole damn world down just for Tay-Tay.
Sparkles: Even Sparkles?
Frankie: Especially Sparkles.
Tay crawls away from her cackling sister while rubbing at the blister formed across her chest. Crazed laughter emanates from Mika as she picks up a chair and sends it hurdling right into her sister’s lower back. The blow makes Tay rear back on her knees while Mika takes her under the jaw, pulling back to expose her face to the barrage of right hands.
Mika: Hahahahaha, just like old times, right sestra?
A mouthful of Tay’s forehead is chomped down on, Mika gnawing at her face. She then picks up another chair and throws it with all her strength straight into the back of Tay’s head.
Frankie: Someone disqualify Mika and then put her ass in the electric chair.
Sparkles: This match hasn’t officially started yet, Frankie, meaning there are no rules.
Frankie: There should be at least one rule, don’t touch Tay’s face!
The multiple strikes on the skull have Tay all out of sorts as she absent mindedly crawls up a flight of steps. There is no rest or no escape, Mika right after Tay, leading her up from the steps and then into a scoop slam….a scoop slam right on top of the steps.
Tay’s eyes are bulging straight out of her sockets as she sits up on the stairs that her back was just broken across. Laughter fills the ears of Mika’s latest victim, followed by the sounds of mocking screams. She’ll make Tay scream even louder when she grabs a chair and places it across the small of her adversary’s back. Once again Tay is scoop slammed, this time not only across the concrete floor, but across the chair that has been extended across her kidneys. The double impact is so severe it leaves Tay incapable of breathing let alone worming her way off Mika’s hook. The deranged clown princess reels her fish in and it won’t be one she throws back, instead it’s one she sends flying over the barricade to the ringside area.
Greyson: At least those fans are out of harm’s way.
Frankie: But not my pwecious Tay-Tay. Someone do something to get this psychopath off of her.
The old saying is true, there’s no rest for the wicked, and Tay is about as wicked as wicked can be. She desperately grabs at the barricade she was just thrown over, using it to stand up. Unfortunately that barrier is used against her, as Mika reaches over it from her stance in the crowd, takes Tay around the neck and hits her with a stunner. Tay’s jaw smacks off the barricade and closes her mouth….thank God.
A confused Tay stumbles towards the ring pawing at her chin before she ends up pawing at the ropes. She rolls inside the squared circle and hopes that maybe in the ring she’ll get a precious few moments of reprieve. Not happening, Mika is still after her. She climbs over the barricade and does so with a steel chair in her hands.
Frankie: McBride needs to do something about this psychopath.
Greyson: There’s nothing she can do.
Sparkles: She can scowl disapprovingly. That’s something.
Greyson: This match looks like it’s going to take the route that Tay’s and Mika’s encounter at the previous Last Stand took.
Frankie: Don’t you dare remind us of that match.
Greyson: It was just last year that Mika defeated Tay for the World…..
Frankie: I said don’t bring it up!
The demented chuckles keep coming from Mika as does the violence. She climbs to the apron and then bends through the ropes, trying to get herself and the chair she’s holding inside. But just then, when she’s half way through the ropes, Mika finds herself on the receiving end of a senton bomb. Tay leaps to the top rope, springs off and flips forward, crashing straight into Mika’s upper back. The senton sends Mika falling forward to a ring where she will now be the one who’s victimized.
Greyson: Oh what a senton!
Frankie: Did you see that? Did you see that? Tay suckered her in.
Sparkles: Yeeeaaaah, so the beating Tay was getting prior to that senton was all just a set up?
Frankie: EEEEXXXXXACTLY.
The beating that Mika is getting right now ISN’T any part of a set up. Tay launches punch after punch after punch across the bridge of Mika’s nose. The jabs only stop so that Tay can stick two middle fingers right in Mika’s face.
Tay: Haven’t you heard? I’m Miss Must-See, the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, the NEXT World….
One of those middle fingers finds its way right between Mika’s teeth. She bites down and bites down hard, causing Tay to stop making obscene gestures and start crying out in anguish. She stands up with Mika seated in front of her, still chomping away at her opponent’s finger. Suddenly Tay swings around and cracks Mika straight upside the temple with a buzzsaw kick. The strike should result in Tay being released from the jaws of her sister, but it hasn’t. It appears that Mika has the biting strength of a Pitbull, not letting up until she’s gnawed Tay’s finger completely off. However, Tay is not willing to part with any of her body, not one bit. She backs up towards the corner dragging Mika and the teeth that are dug into her finger along for the ride. The two reach a turnbuckle where Tay leaps back to the middle rope and then flies off, catching Mika around the neck, hitting a tornado DDT. Finally Mika’s teeth release her sister’s finger, allowing Tay to roll away and to reach the ropes. She gets to the apron only to leap off of it, landing on the top rope before flying off into a double knee stomp that hits the seated Mika right in her chest.
Frankie: Beautiful….just damned beautiful.
Greyson: That WAS an impressive move by Tay.
Frankie: What? Oh yeah, sure it was, but I was referring to my reflection I just saw in this nickel.
The double knee stomp leaves Mika susceptible to the pin that now follows, Tay on the brink of becoming a four time World Champion. The referee is on the scene to make a count that would result in a historic title win.
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Thousands upon thousands take a collective gasp when witnessing Tay come within a fraction of a second of regaining the World Title. Much to her dismay Tay finds her pin kicked out of, Kozlov getting her shoulder up just in time. Tay is so aggravated that she throws aside strategy in favor of just straight up choking her opponent with both hands. She is actually strangling the life out of the laid out Mika, who can only lay their laughing. Though Mika might not be giggling when she learns what’s happening just a stone’s throw away from the squared circle.
Focus has shifted to the set for the pay-per-view where a circle of fire is still rising up from the stage. But down far below it the wall that leads up to the stage begins to buckle. Now we can see a foot kicking at the wall with enough force to send the entire thing toppling over. The wall falls down and reveals that Katelyn Buehler is standing behind it.
Greyson: Katelyn! Katelyn Buehler is fighting her way out from under the stage.
Frankie: The bitch is still alive?
Sparkles: And kicking…..literally.
Greyson: She just took down that whole wall on the set.
Frankie: She shouldn’t be capable of doing that, she shouldn’t even be capable of breathing after she was thrown in that ring of fire.
Although Katelyn is a little worse for wear she staggers out from under the set and drags herself towards the ring. Tay sees her coming and Tay does something to stop her. She rolls from the ring then barrels to the ramp-way where she intends to make quick work of her battered prey.
Tay: You should stay down on your back. That’s where you’re most comfortable, right?
Tay is about to put Kate on her back rather she likes it or not, swinging a punch…one that is BLOCKED. Kate counters the punch into one of her own, smashing Tay under the jaw, then doing it again and again and again. Each shot knocks Tay along towards the barricade before eventually sending her flipping over it with a powerful thrust kick. Katelyn turns in a circle then screams at the audience, getting them all rallied up. Finally her attention turns back to her greatest IWC rival, the banged up Tay standing in the crowd.
Kate runs at the barricade, leaps on top of it and then flies off into a Lou Thez Press. She crashes down on top of Tay and sends her tumbling back into the front row of chairs. Both ladies go through the steel and all the way to the floor and once on the ground Tay finds herself plastered across the kisser with one punch after another.
Sparkles: Tay just can’t catch a break.
Greyson: I don’t know about that, it looks like her face may have caught a break at Kate’s hands.
Frankie: That wasn’t funny, that wasn’t funny at all. You should apologize right now for that comment.
Each jab across Tay’s face brings Katelyn closer to the retribution she’s been after for months upon months. She stands up with Tay’s hair in her hands, leading her along on her knees towards a set up chair. Tay tries to block it but can’t get palms between her face and the chair that it’s being swung into…again and again and again. These blows are crushing the beautiful bone structure of Tay’s mug and giving Katelyn such grim satisfaction.
Frankie: Security? SECURITY!?! Get out here and help Tay-Tay!
Greyson: Don’t you remember what Tay said before this match started? Security will never interfere in Monarchy business again.
Frankie:……I hate you.
Not as much as Katelyn hates Taylor. She leads her opponent up and into a back breaker straight across the very same chair that Tay’s face was just being bounced off of. Although Tay has shown incredible durability and resiliency in past encounters she can’t withstand much more of the punishment being inflicted on her by both opponents this evening. Katelyn just keeps on giving a beating, dragging her adversary off the ground and then flinging her over the barricade. Tay lands at ringside where she is given no time to heal up. She climbs into the squared circle where rest is not an option. Katelyn continues to go straight after her, jumping to the apron and then bending through the ropes. She makes it about half way through the cables and that’s about as far as she’ll get. Tay sees her coming and does something to stop her, leaping into the air and catching Kate with the code breaker. Katelyn’s face bounces from her opponent’s knees and the collision sends her twisting back down to ringside.
Frankie: There you go Tay-Tay, there you go! Now stay on….AAAH!
Tay stands up and twists into the KILLING JOKE. It seems she’s totally forgotten about the second of her adversaries and Mika will make Tay pay for that. She grabs Tay around the head and bridges her back into position for a version of the Sister Abigail. Just when it looks like that move is about to materialize it goes up in dust. Tay twists out of the Killing Joke and then turns to face Mika’s back, giving her a shove so forceful it sends her flying towards the ropes…no…flying THROUGH the ropes. Mika leaves her feet and dives to the outside of the ring, crashing like a heat seeking missile right into a staggering Katelyn at ringside. Both ladies fall hard to the floor and leave only Tay stood in the center of the ring.
Greyson: Mika turning disadvantage into a devastating dive.
Sparkles: She’s such a resourceful minx…..YYYIIKKKES!
Just as Mika and Katelyn stand up at ringside they find themselves taken down when Tay comes flipping out of the ring and into a senton plancha that knocks both of her adversaries to the floor. Tay rolls right off their shoulders, landing on her feet and then falling forward into the barricade where she screams to the distressed crowd.
Tay: IT PAYS TO BE TAY!
That gorgeous dive is followed by something that isn’t easy on the eyes. Tay cracks Mika’s face off the apron. She then turns to Kate and cracks her face off the steel stairs. She finally throws Katelyn into the ring, ending up on her back mere centimeters from the ropes she was just tossed under. Tay leaps from the apron, holds tight to the top rope and twists around into an elbow drop right across Katelyn’s chest. Tay then pops up to her feet, grabs hold of the top rope, leaps over it, twists so that she lands on the apron before running across it and hitting a punt on the face of a recovered Mika. Although Mika was standing on the ringside mats the punt to her face knocks her onto her spine.
Tay’s attention returns to Katelyn, turning around on the apron to face the ring. She grabs the top rope and jumps over it, flying straight into Kate…straight into her shoulders. The World Champion pops up to her feet in time to catch the airborne Taylor in a fireman’s carry. Tay tries to squirm out of her opponent’s clutches, but that’s not happening, not until she’s sent flipping over the top rope with a death valley driver. Tay flies over the cables and then comes crashing down back first right on top of Mika’s shoulder. The two collapse to the ringside floor, all thanks to a defiant World Champion.
Greyson: Katelyn holding her own in there, which is shocking considering the extent of her shoulder injuries.
Surprisingly Tay is the first to start moving, climbing up instinctively to the apron. Katelyn is right there waiting on her, reaching from the ring through the ropes and grabbing Tay by the hair and starting to force her back into the squared circle. Suddenly Tay lashes out though, catching Kate by the arm and then falling to the floor, snapping the World Champion’s shoulder off the middle rope.
Sparkles: You shouldn’t have brought up that injured shoulder.
Frankie: I think Tay just heard you.
The impact with the rope has exacerbated Kate’s injury and the ricochet has sent her spiraling back towards the center of the ring. She doubles over her arm, though Katelyn will regret doing so when Mika runs in behind her, grabs the back of her head and throws her along through the ropes shoulder first into the ring post.
Greyson: Now Mika going after that shoulder too.
That’s not all Mika goes after. She pulls a doubled over Katelyn away from the turnbuckle and then throws her shoulder first right through the ropes and right into the ribs of Tay. The collision sends Tay flying off the apron and to the arena floor while Katelyn bounces back into the waiting arms of her adversary. Mika wastes little time spiking Katelyn on top of her head with the double arm DDT. The Dos-vi-Dania is about to finish Katelyn off, but Katelyn didn’t get this far to fail now. She spins her way out of the double arm DDT, turns to Mika’s back and gives her a shove. Mika is sent hurdling towards the ropes….no…she’s sent ONTO the ropes. Before she can hit the cables Mika jumps onto the top one and then lunges off into a springboard shooting star press, coming down right on top of Tay at ringside
Frankie: OH NO!
Greyson: Mika with another dive to the outside, this time taking out Tay-Tay!
Sparkles: What a dive it was, a frackin’ shooting star press.
The World Champion sees that both of her adversaries are down and she’s about to make sure they stay that way. Here she comes, hustling towards the ropes and preparing to leap through them. It isn’t her body that goes through the cables though, it’s Mika’s. She flies between the strands and catches Katelyn around the hip, pulling her over into the school boy. That pin is quickly transitioned into….A FUJIWARA. Mika leans back on Katelyn’s shoulder, putting so much strain on it that it could separate at any moment.
Greyson: Mika going back to the arm.
Sparkles: For maybe the last time.
Frankie: Get up Tay, stop this before it’s too late.
Greyson: She might not have any time, given Kate’s preexisting injuries and the torque that’s being put on them right now.
Pain is etched in the lines of Katelyn’s face but she’s not giving up, she’s not surrendering her World Title. She pulls and she pulls and she pulls herself along towards the ropes, her only means of salvation.
Mika: Be a good little girl and tap out!
Demands Mika as she applies even further strain on the shoulder of the champion. Katelyn won’t adhere to Mika’s request, reaching out with her foot and placing it across the bottom rope. The official makes a five count, eventually forcing Mika to break the arm bar….though Katelyn’s shoulder might end up being the thing that’s broken. From ringside Tay reaches under the ropes, grabs Kate by the ankle and tugs, dragging her out of the ring and to the floor before putting her arm in a hammerlock then tossing her shoulder straight into the ring post. Katelyn’s arm bounces off the post and she takes a tumble to the floor. All the while Tay is turning her back to the ring in order to put her focus on the laid out Champion.
Tay: Go have some meth and you’ll feel as fresh as a daisy.
Tay isn’t about to feel FRESH when Mika’s boots come flying out of the ring, sliding under the ropes and into a baseball dropkick. Those boots and that dropkick never strike paydirt, Tay side stepping the move at the last second. Mika lands on the mats right in front of Tay and then comes running towards her sister only to be caught with a spinning powerslam, one that drives the small of her back right into the edge of the apron.
Sparkles: GRUESOME!
Frankie: Party time, excellent! Wooooo-woooo-wooooo.
Greyson: Tay getting back into the driver’s seat.
Frankie: Normally I wouldn’t endorse seeing women behind the wheel of a car, but Tay probably makes NASCAR pros look like Asian drivers.
Greyson: I lost count of how many offensive comments were just in that one sentence.
Mika’s spine hit the ring apron and now Kate’s chest collides with the ring post. Tay drags the Champion off the ground and lifts her into a stalling vertical suplex position before running forward and jamming her upside down body right into the steel post. For the first time in their lives Katelyn and Mika have something in common, the agony they are both exhibiting at ringside. A smiling Tay aggravates more than her opponents, she takes a stab at the crowd by curtsying much to their disapproval. She then returns her attention to Katelyn, rolling the champion into the ring. Tay follows alongside her adversary with her boots leading the way, a front dropkick smacking Kate in the shoulder and arm. Katelyn rolls to the middle of the ring and then right onto her feet, where she unleashes a primal roar.
Greyson: That kick only fired Katelyn up.
Sparkles: She was almost on fire literally a few minutes ago.
The intense Katelyn runs right towards Tay and into the lariat, one that is thwarted by her challenger. Tay swings around the arm that was aimed at her head, puts that arm into a hammerlock then gives Katelyn a back drop suplex right on top of it. Katelyn sits up and grimaces as she reaches for the arm that is now being folded over behind her neck. An overhead top wrist lock is applied on Katelyn and the move is debilitating an already injured limb.
Frankie: Come on now, tap already and just give Tay her fourth title reign.
Greyson: There’s only one thing that Katelyn is going to give Tay, and that’s the beating of a lifetime.
Frankie: Pfft….as if.
Sparkles: Did you just go all valley girl on Lovejoy?
Once again Katelyn finds herself in a position that no defending champion would want to be subjected to. She’s got her injured arm trapped in the overhead wrist lock but her heels are getting closer and closer to the ropes. She extends her foot for the cables only for it to drop just short. There’s only one way out of this predicament and it’s to fight her way free. She starts to stand up still trapped in the overhead wrist lock with Tay exerting all the pressure that she can. Finally Kate stands only to suddenly fall forward, using her trapped arm to flip Tay over her back and send her rolling across the canvas.
Tay ends up on her feet and runs right into the ropes, jumping up onto the middle cable. She’s about to spring off only to find her feet flying THROUGH the strands as opposed to landing on them. From ringside Mika has reached up and grabbed the middle cable, pulling down on it just in time to cause Tay to go tumbling through the strands, landing viciously on her back across the floor.
Once again the fans are forced to listen to Mika laugh as she points and she skips around her laid out sister. She stops laughing and she stops skipping when she sees Katelyn flying over the top rope and into a crossbody, crashing into Mika and driving her down into the ground.
Frankie: Well, pigs really can fly.
Greyson: Enough, Frankie.
Frankie: Seeeewwweee.
Greyson: I said ENOUGH.
Katelyn works through the injuries to her arm in order to pull Mika right up onto it. She hits a running powerslam that would make Davey Boy Smith envious. Although Mika isn’t driven into the mats, she’s driven right into her sister’s solar-plexus. Katelyn does double damage and she hopes that will be enough to finish one of her dangerous opponents off. She throws Mika into the ring, slides in and makes the cover.
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Mika’s not finished that easily, she gets her shoulder up. That’s not the only part of her that ascends though, Mika is already working her way to her feet before Katelyn slips in from behind going for the lightning spiral. Before the SLO can be delivered an elbow is driven into Kate’s temple, followed by another shot and then another, delivering however many shots it requires to free Mika from her present predicament. She gets lose from the SLO and then delivers a high knee to the face of her crouched opponent. Kate rears back on her heels while Mika runs forward into the ropes, ricochets off and then comes charging into a lou thez press…from her opponent. Katelyn drops down on top of Mika, unloading with punches across her temple.
The strikes conclude as a result of Taylor’s interference. She runs into the ring, grabs Kate by the back of the head, drags her off Mika and then throws her out through the ropes. Kate hits the ground and Tay looks to hit Mika. A grinning Tay closes in on her sister then crouches down to make the cover. It’s just then that Mika reaches out and grabs Tay by the hair, pulling her down into the small package.
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Tay rolls out of the cover then comes running back towards her sister only to get dropkicked right on the button. The hit sends Tay staggering back but doesn’t take her down. That’s why Mika is barreling towards Tay with the intent of taking her off of her feet and keeping her off of her feet. Her attempt is unsuccessful because Tay catches Mika in a tilt a whirl back-breaker.
The battered three time champion starts to crawl into the lateral press. Before she can make the cover she finds her pin attempt thwarted. Katelyn has returned to the ring, has grabbed Tay by the back of the head, ran her at the ropes and thrown her through. Katelyn’s attention turns back to Mika and to making the cover. She starts to crouch down and into the pin only to find her legs caught in her opponent’s arms. Mika pulls Kate’s feet out from under her and then flips forward into the jackknife cover.
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Katelyn puts all she’s got into the kick out.
Sparkles: Mika almost suckering another of her opponents into a pin.
Frankie: She is such a tricky little minx, isn’t she?
Greyson: I can think of a few more words I could use to describe her.
Katelyn hopes one of those words will be ‘deformed,’ because that’s just how she’s going to leave the psychotic pyromaniac. She runs forward into a fist that Mika successfully blocks via her spinning back elbow to her adversary’s cheek. The blow sends Katelyn spiraling completely around, turning back to face Mika and the front chancery that is being locked in. Mika lifts Kate into a vertical suplex only to drop her opponent’s ankles onto the top cable and then hit a snap rope hung swinging neck breaker. Katelyn is driven onto the back of her head and the impact has knocked her unconscious. Before Mika can go for the pin here comes Tay back into the ring to break it up. However Mika sidesteps the inbound Tay, grabs her by the back of the head and runs her at the ropes, throwing her over. This time instead of being sent crashing into the floor Tay floats over the strands and lands on the ring apron. She then grabs the top rope and pulls herself over, flying towards Mika. Only in mid-air Tay finds herself caught around the neck and with her feet draped across the top rope she’s hit with an over the shoulder jaw breaker.
Mika makes the quick cover with her hopes set high.
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Those hopes are crushed when Tay gets her shoulder up to keep the title off of her sister’s waist. Instead of being annoyed Mika is vengeful, she stomps and stomps and stomps at every inch of Tay’s body. The Garvin style stomp fest is punctuated by pulling Tay up to her seat and then cracking her across the forehead with a running kick. Two more boots ram into Tay’s ribs when Mika jumps into the double stomp. That blow to the abs isn’t enough for Kozlov, she won’t stop until Tay’s ribs are gelatin. She runs into the corner, climbs it and ends up on the top only to come off with another double stomp, this time from the highest elevation. Her boots end up coming down right into….the ring, Tay rolling out of harm’s way at the last second.
The second Mika’s boots hit the canvas she drops into a forward roll, one that takes her right into the waiting boot of the World Champion. Mika ends up on her feet but gets a taste of Katelyn’s foot when a thrust kick nails her under the jaw. Somehow Mika is still standing but Katelyn swings around behind her and locks in a rear waist lock. Before Katelyn can presumably hit a German suplex Mika runs towards the ropes, dragging Katelyn along behind her. The two hit the ropes, bounce off and fly back, Mika using the momentum to swing around behind Katelyn and reverse the waist lock. Mika drops to the ring and rolls Katelyn over until they’re both on their feet and a Chaos Theory style German suplex is about to unleashed. Unfortunately for Mika that suplex never happens because Tay lunges in from behind, catches Mika the second she’s rolled onto her feet and pulls her down into the back stabber. Mika bounces off the knees of her rival and then stumbles into the arms of another. Katelyn catches Mika, hoists her into the air and then spikes her with the small package driver.
Sparkles: Small package DRIVAH!
Greyson: And Mika landed right on that head. She’s finished after that.
Frankie: Do something Tay, do anything, mystify and paralyze your opponents by flashing them your boobs.
Tay won’t need to do that, instead she’ll take another approach.
As Katelyn hooks up Mika for the pin she does not notice Tay slipping in from behind her.
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Tay pulls Katelyn out of the small package and onto her stomach where her arms are then hooked up and placed in the TTYL.
Frankie: HAHAHAHA YEEEES!! It’s locked in, Tay’s got it locked in, the TTYL!
Greyson: The very same move that Katelyn passed out in back at the end of the Year Special.
Frankie: Just go to sleep Katelyn, take a nap and it all be over!
Passing out is a tempting prospect but Katelyn would rather stay conscious and suffer rather than faint and lose her title. There are not a lot of options for Kate at this point though, because Tay has her version of the Rings of Saturn locked in so tight that the champion has no other recourse but to submit. It’s just impossible for Katelyn to utter those words, the phrase ‘I Quit’ being entirely foreign to her.
Frankie: Come on Katelyn, just two words, two words is all you have to say and it’ll be over.
Sparkles: She can’t bring herself to say it though Frankie. Katelyn’s never said it before and she won’t say it here tonight, even when she’s in the TTYL.
Greyson: She might not have to, look at her foot guys.
Frankie: I thought I was…oh no, my bad, that’s her face.
The reason attention is being diverted to Katelyn’s boot is because it’s extending out towards the ropes. Although both of her arms are tied up her foot isn’t, and it may be all she needs to reach those cables. Unfortunately her toes fall just short of the strands before being pulled away from them entirely. Tay tucks into a sideways roll and pulls Katelyn along with her, dragging both their bodies to the middle of the ring where the TTYL is locked in tighter than ever with no possibility of an escape.
Greyson: Katelyn in the wrong part of town.
Frankie: Just like when I accidently end up at Blue Oyster.
Greyson: Accidentally?
Sparkles: There was nothing accidental about what Tay just did, that was a smooth move from a soon to be FOUR time World Champion.
Sweat streams down over the screaming face of the World Champion, who realizes that she can’t hang in there much longer. It’s all coming to an end, her title reign, and maybe her career, it’s all over. There is no way that Katelyn can escape the TTYL, at least on her own.
Although Mika is in a bad way herself she employs what little strength she has left to grab Katelyn’s ankle and pull until it’s under the bottom rope. Mika flops down on her knees at ringside after exploiting what was left in her reserves to keep this title bout going.
Greyson: Mika saving Katelyn….
Sparkles: No, she saved the World Title.
The referee is shouting at Tay, telling her to release the hold but she won’t do it….She outright refuses. In fact when ordered to do again she spits at the official and almost puts a goober right in his eyes. The referee warns Tay one last time but she’s still not letting lose on the TTYL. There’s only one way the hold is going to be broken, and it’s not of Tay’s own volition. Her hair is grabbed and yanked with enough for pry her off the World Champion.
Mika has climbed up onto the apron and is reaching into the ring through the ropes, latching on to Tay’s luscious locks and giving them a tug. Mika stands up on the apron and grabs the top rope, about to come flying over them into her sister, but instead her sister is coming for her. Tay rolls over backwards into a headstand then extends her legs out over the top rope, wrapping them around Mika’s neck. She gets Kozlov’s head trapped between her shins and won’t let go.
This predicament only ends up benefiting one person though, and that’s the champion. Katelyn nails a thrust kick on Mika’s face while it was still trapped between Tay’s shins. The kick sends Mika collapsing to the floor and causes Tay to roll back to the middle of the ring, ending up on her seat…not for long. Another thrust kick is unleashed by the World Champion, this one blasting Tay between the eyes. After nailing the second scintillating kick Kate turns and drops into a lateral press on the challenger’s chest.
Greyson: Is this the moment that Kate has been waiting on for years?
Sparkles: Has she just slayed her dragon?
Frankie: No one, especially not Katelyn will slay the Tay.
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That dragon still sores and still destroys, Tay getting her shoulder out from under Katelyn. Pain wells up behind Katelyn’s eyes as she looks at the two fingers the ref holds in front of her face. Those fingers get a lot closer to Katelyn, in fact the official’s whole body is hurdling towards her. It’s Mika who makes this introduction between the ref and the champ, sliding into the ring behind the zebra and pushing him into the jaws of the lion. The official and Katelyn smack heads, the champion falling to her back but not staying on it like Lindsey Lohan when rehearsing for a film. Mika grabs Katelyn around the neck, bridges her up to her feet and then spirals right along into the Killing Joke.
Sparkles: RIGHT ON HER FACE! Katelyn spiked right on her face!
Greyson: The Killing Joke at last delivered.
Frankie: I refuse to believe Mika’s going to do it two years in a row.
Mika drops and makes the cover on Katelyn, looking to repeat history by winning the World Title at her second straight Last Stand. She should be hearing the referee smack the canvas, but instead she hears the referee whimpering. He’s sitting on his knees in the corner of the ring rubbing at the wound on his forehead. Mika shouts at him to do his job, but it’s impossible for him to do anything other than request a Tylenol for his headache. That migraine is about to get a lot worse now that Mika is grabbing him by the hair and pulling him out of the corner where he was seeking refuge. He’s now bent back and placed in position for a Killing Joke.
Greyson: This isn’t going to help Mika.
Sparkles: No, but hitting the ref with the Killing Joke will make her feel better.
Frankie: This woman is out of her flipping gord.
Laughter proceeds Mika’s Killing Joke, as does the tongue that she extends into a lick across her next victim’s brow. Before the referee can be slammed on his face he’s freed from his pending doom, and it’s Tay he has to think for the rescue. She bridges Mika back into a dragon sleeper and then lifts her into an inverted suplex. It’s not a suplex she has in mind though, because she transitions Mika into a fireman’s carry and now prepares to hit it, and that ‘it’ is the True Story.
Frankie: If she hits this it’s over.
Sparkles: We’ll have a new champion crowned here at Last Stand.
Into the air Mika is thrown and down she comes…..into a counter that takes the form of a back-stabber. Mika transitions out of the Go to Sleep and grabs Tay by the shoulders on the way down before ultimately spiking her kidneys straight on top of her knees.
Frankie: OUCH! My poor baby.
Greyson: Mika with some retaliation for the back stabber Tay gave her earlier in this match.
Tay’s back bounces off of Mika’s knees and now she’s back on her feet, surprisingly staying upright as she staggers along into the ropes. Mika is getting to her feet and fast with a smile on her face that turns to a frown when she sees Tay bouncing off the cables and then leaping into the TKO. Tay’s knee cracks Mika right in the mouth, knocking her flat on her back with her sister coming down beside her.
Frankie: YEEEESSS!
Sparkles: That was nuts.
Greyson: TKO outta nowhere!
Frankie: NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP! Make the cover.
That’s precisely what Tay is doing, draping herself across her sister’s chest in the process of making history. The referee is disorientated still but drops down and makes the count nevertheless.
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The official’s hand comes down, just not into the ring. At the very last possible second the official finds himself dragged by the ankle out of the squared circle, spilling with a splat to the arena floor. The crowd is gasping, their mouths hung open at the sight of Katelyn pulling the ref out of position to finish making his count and doing so just a second or two removed from losing her championship.
Frankie: I’m gonna kill her!
Sparkles: Katelyn may have just killed herself in order to break that pin.
Greyson: She used whatever she had left inside to do it.
The Killing Joke continues to plague Katelyn, explaining why merely pulling a ref away from the ring took so much out of her. She falls onto her knees right beside that official at ringside and now she’s trying her absolute best to summon the strength to get back inside of the squared circle. It digs down into places she never knew she possessed in order to climb up onto the apron. Her mouth is open wide as she desperately sucks in air, providing fuel for her weakened muscles. Finally she gets into the ring, but not of her own accord. Suddenly Tay grabs the top rope Katelyn was holding and gives it a yank, resulting in the champion being launched over the cables and onto her challenger’s shoulders. The crowd cries out in anticipation of seeing Taylor deliver the True Story.
Greyson: She couldn’t hit it on Mika, will she hit it on Katelyn!?!
Frankie: Deliver it Tay! Deliver it and be done with Katelyn once and for all!
Tay is just about to launch Katelyn into the True Story but all of a sudden the champion surprises her opponent by sliding off her shoulders. Katelyn lands behind Tay and then spins her around right into the THRUST KICK….noooo….Tay grabs the boot headed for her jaw and pushes it away with enough force to send the champion spinning into a completely 360. Tay steps forward to take advantage, walking right into Katelyn just as he spins around and nails the challenger with the KTFO.
Sparkles: KTFO! KTFO!!
Greyson: OUTTA NOWHERE!
Frankie: If I had a vagina I swear to God it be bleeding right now.
Katelyn is exasperated, she’s hurting, every inch of her is killing her but she still finds the strength to crawl into the lateral press on her greatest rival.
Greyson: Has the roaring elbow finally done what Katelyn has been after for the past two plus years?
Sparkles: It’s GOT to be enough.
That may very well be true, but it’s not like there’s a referee to make Katelyn’s ultimate dream reality. He’s still laying at ringside, trying to recover from his fall, which means that there is no one to count Tay’s shoulders to the canvas,
Frankie: Hahahaha, I love it! I LOVE IT! That dumb bitch Katelyn knocked the referee out.
Greyson: Which is a real shame, because it looked like she may have finally done enough to pin her greatest rival.
Frankie: Bullshit, Tay would have kicked out at a one count.
Greyson: I find that hard to believe considering she still hasn’t moved after taking that KTFO.
With a sense of urgency Katelyn throws the referee back into the squared circle. Upon re-entering the ring the Champ’s first order to business to crouch down and wait….wait for Tay to stand….wait for the opportunity to strike…wait to retain her title after nailing a second KTFO.
Greyson: If Katelyn hits this it will finally-FINALLY be over.
Before Katelyn can do it, before she can deliver a second and maybe FINAL KTFO, she finds her plans fizzling out when another of her challengers comes flying off the top rope behind her. Mika dives off the turnbuckle behind Katelyn and hits her with a front dropkick right between the shoulder blades. The blow sends Katelyn flying right along into the ropes….wait…she’s doing a HEADSTAND into those ropes. The back of her legs hit the top cable and they launch her back into the Lethal Injection on Mika.
Greyson: LETHAL INJJJJJJECTION!!
Frankie: What!?! How!?! HOOWWW!!!???!!
Sparkles: Get your fingernails out of Sparkles’ arm!
As Mika’s face hurdles into the ring Tay goes rolling out of it. It’s exhausting all of Katelyn’s reserves to do it but she’s crawling across the squared circle and narrowing the gap between herself and the unconscious Kozlov. A cover seems inevitable, Kate standing up sluggishly in order to expedite the process. She’s getting closer and closer to Mika and verging on a pin, about to be reunited with her World Title. That’s EXACTLY what happens, because Tay-Tay has re-entered the ring and is running across it swinging the World Championship right into Katelyn’s temple.
Greyson: NOOOO!
Frankie: The title off of Katelyn’s skull. You’ve got this Tay. You’ve finally done it!
Every inch of Tay’s body hurts but she’s not going to let that stop her from making the cover. She falls back first over Kate’s chest and hooks her leg while the referee at last comes through.
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Greyson: Not this way.
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Greyson: Don’t tell me it’s going to end this way!!
The hand comes down again and the cries become absolutely deafening, all because Katelyn’s arm has just jumped up off of the canvas. Tay’s eyes are wider than they have ever been before as she sits up and listens to the thousands and thousands in the San Siro screaming her opponent’s name.
Frankie: WHAT!!??!!
Greyson: Katelyn somehow, someway, against all possible odds just kicked out.
Frankie: WHAT!!??!!
Tay’s shaking fingers are running down over her face, as her mind finally grapples with the fact that Katelyn kicked out. She channels all that fury, all that rage into her next maneuver….and it’s NOT a wrestling maneuver. Tay rolls out of the ring and staggers towards the time keeper. She grabs them by the throat and drags the old man out of his seat, throwing him aside so she can use his chair for something other than sitting.
Greyson: Oh no. Oh God no.
Sparkles: Katelyn has hung in there through a lot, but how can she possibly survive this?
Frankie: Finish this Tay finish this and claim what’s rightfully yours.
Much to the surprise of everyone, maybe even Katelyn herself, the Champion is working her way up to her feet. She employs the ropes to stand upright before finally pushing off of them. She turns back to the center of the ring just in time to be greeted with a steel chair right between the eyes. Tay summons all of her power to swing the steel across the Champion’s brow.
Greyson: Damn you Tay, damn you….
Frankie: Take that back right now!
Greyson: I will not. Her actions are inexcusable.
Frankie: I don’t hear a bell, do you? That must mean this is ALL legal.
Greyson: No, it must mean the referee is still too banged up to realize what’s happening.
Tay would go for the pin but she’s got one last person she wants to introduce her steel chair to first, and that person is her sister Mika. From the corner of her eye Tay spots Mika pushing herself up off of the canvas, desperately trying to come through after being hit with the Lethal Injection. Tay is going to make sure Mika NEVER recovers, and she’s going to use the steel chair to do it. With the chair raised back over her head Tay comes running towards Mika and swings. But it’s not the chair that swings, it’s Tay’s body. She’s caught around the neck and she’s spun around right into Mika’s Killing Joke.
Greyson: Another Killing Joke! ANOTHER KILLING JOKE!
Frankie: I…..I….
Sparkles: I’m shocked too, so shocked I forgot to refer to myself in the third person.
Frankie: I cannot believe this is happening. Someone tell me it’s not true.
Greyson: Mika is closing on becoming the World Champion for the second time in her career.
Every inch of her body is traumatized but Mika starts to crawl, dragging herself along towards Tay on the cusp of covering her sister and becoming the World Champion. Her arm extends away from her sweaty, broken body and towards her clearly unconscious opponent.
Frankie: Somebody has GOT to stop this.
The referee is already dragging himself across the ring and into position to make a count when Mika gets the cover. Everything is playing directly into Mika’s favor….or at least it was until the lights in the arena go out.
Greyson: Ooooh fiddlesticks.
Frankie: What-what-what-what’s going on?
Sparkles: Sparkles is-is frightened. Time to call out my personal security.
Greyson: Put your GI Joe action figures away.
The fans anxiously wait to find out what’s going on under this veil of darkness. After waiting on pins and needles, with their hearts in their throats, the lights finally come back on and reveal that Mika is no longer in an advantageous position. Actually, she’s at the biggest disadvantage she’s ever been in. She finds herself in a position she’s never been in before, her whole upper body wrapped in a cocoon of barbwire. And it’s all thanks to the two individuals currently standing on either side of her, those figures being Cindy Todd and….Cassandra Mason?
Frankie: WHAT….IN….THE…HELL!?!
Greyson: What are we seeing here?
Sparkles: It’s New Eden, and they’ve-they’ve got Mika all wrapped up in BARBWIRE!
Greyson: I have NEVER seen anything like this before.
Sparkles: This is a whole new level of depravity.
Frankie: It’s revenge is what it is. Cindy is getting revenge for that fireball Mika threw in her face three weeks ago.
Cassandra Mason, who was revealed earlier in the night as the newest initiate of Cindy’s brood, does the honors of handing a steel chair over to the Queen. One of TWO steel chairs, there’s another, and that one stays in Cassandra’s hands.
Cindy: You want a scandal?
Cassandra licks her lips.
Cindy: Let’s give them one.
Cindy swings the chair down into the barbwire all wrapped around Mika and then Cassandra follows up with a shot of her own.
Greyson: This is sickening!
Sparkles: Cassie Mason and Cindy Todd are DESTROYING Mika.
Greyson: Why is Cassie doing this?
Sparkles; She must be who Cindy was talking about when she said she was bringing a NEW member of her group over to the IWC.
Greyson: You know none of that matters right now….because Mika is being decimated.
One chair shot follows another, smacking it Mika over and over and over again. She rolls from side to side, trying to fend off the blows but unable to lift her arms to protect herself because of the barbwire that binds her. There is nothing that Mika can do other than lay there and bleed, externally and internally. There’s no telling how many wounds have been inflicted on her as this barrage of chair blows continue to mangle her body.
Greyson: These two are being absolutely merciless!
The chair Cassandra was swinging falls to the ring that she traverses. She grabs Katelyn by the arm and tugs it until she’s dragged over the broken, bloodied and shattered body of Kozlov.
Greyson: What are they doing now?
It isn’t until Katelyn has been left splayed across Mika’s punctured and lacerated torso that New Eden leaves. They slide through the ropes to the apron where they get a very-very close look at the results of their handiwork. They watch with depraved smiles on their faces as the referee comes through in time to see Katelyn pinning Mika and to make the three count.
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The referee’s hand FINALLY comes down against the ring and at long last brings to an end one of the most intense World Title matches in recent history.
Greyson: Katelyn Buehler retains…Good God she’s retained.
Frankie: I’m beyond speechless, but that won’t keep me from talking because the sound of my voice gives me an erection.
Sparkles: It has the same effect on Sparkles.
Greyson: That was a hell of a match. Maybe the most intense of Katelyn’s career, and in the end she walks out with the title.
Frankie: Don’t be crazy. NO ONE is walking out of here after what New Eden just did.
Sparkles: Especially not Mika.
Greyson: I’ll say it again, I have NEVER seen anything like what New Eden just did to Mika Kozlov.
Katelyn can BARELY bring herself to do it but she sits up and takes the World Title off the canvas. She is so concussed by the shots she took to the skull that she’s not even cognizant of the fact that she just retained her title. She doesn’t even realize that she’s rolling out of the ring until she’s collapsed to the mats. Meanwhile one of her challengers, Tay is finally starting to regain her senses after taking the Killing Joke. She starts to stir upon hearing the lyrics of Katelyn’s theme music playing over the PA system. We can almost see her skin squirming when she realizes that Buehler is leaving here with the World Championship.
Greyson: What a match. What…a….match.
Sparkles: The most grueling of Katelyn’s career.
Greyson: The most grueling of all three of these ladies’ careers.
Sparkles: Somehow, by some hook or crook Katelyn emerges from this with the World Title.
Frankie: My poor Tay-Tay.
Greyson: Poor Tay-Tay? Try poor Mika. She might never be the same after what New Eden just did to her.
There are presently several stagehands in the ring working to cut away the barbwire that is all wrapped around Mika’s body.
The camera opens on a tiny but a very-very important piece of paper. It’s held in Lilith Evans’ fingers and the number written on it captivates the veteran so. In fact she’s so enthralled by this scrap that has her spot in the Rumble written on it that she doesn’t even see the people moving in around her. It isn’t until the breaths of Executioner are felt across the back of her neck that she finally looks up from the paper and sees her fellow True Sinistry members crowded around her in the locker-room. Eventually Lilith makes eye contact with Jessica Wilde, and it’s a disapproving Jessica Wilde.
Wilde: Nervous?
Lilith doesn’t know how she should respond to that question, forming a tentative smile.
Lilith: I guess so.
A wincing Wilde, still feeling the pain from the Cubic Zirconium Cutter she suffered earlier, reaches out and pats Lilith on the shoulder.
Wilde: Don’t worry, you got nothing to be nervous about.
Lilith: Thanks.
Wilde: Because you’re not going to be in the Rumble tonight.
The piece of paper that Lilith WAS holding is now in Wilde’s hand.
Lilith: Wait (continuing to smile), you’re-you’re not serious, right?
Wilde: You mistake me for someone with a sense of humor.
Lilith: I don’t…..get this. Why are you….?
Wilde: Where were you when Gavin was giving me that cutter out there? When Executioner was getting his head smashed in by a steel chair?
Lilith: I was getting ready for the Rumb…..
Wilde: EXACTLY. If the Rumble is your number one priority, then you’re priorities are aaaaall wrong. You forget yourself missy, you’re role from now until you’re rotting six feet under is to protect me, and to protect the interests of the True Sinistry. No personal ambitions are to get in the way of that. Don’t you understand?
Lilith: But….
Wilde: (Balling up the paper and throwing it into Lilith’s chest) Maybe keeping you out of the Rumble will finally get through to you.
Though Wilde walks off her masked giant lingers behind. He awkwardly grabs a strand of Lilith’s hair and rubs it in his fingers in the process of backing away. An annoyed, a creeped out, and a disheartened Lilith looks down at the crumpled piece of paper at her feet.
Darko: Sad, very-very sad.
Lilith looked up from the paper and to the man who just stepped into the locker-room. Danny Darko, an individual who has taken a keen interest in both her future and her present has just stopped at her side.
Darko: No, pathetic.
Lilith: I know, I’m a total waste.
Darko: That’s not what I’m talking about. What’s pathetic is the fact that True Sinistry thinks so little of you.
He stoops and picks up the wadded paper.
Darko: It’s time their opinion of you….changes.
This time the paper isn’t thrown at Lilith, it’s placed in her palm and Darko closes her hand around it.
There’s just a few moments now before the Rumble, meaning that the Uprising GM David Helms and the Riot Principle Owner Karen McBride have to work quickly. The two are still on the stage and still have the tumbler dividing them, one that holds so many numbers that have yet to be picked for the Rumble this evening.
Helms: Well Karen, parting is such sweet sorrow, but it looks like our time together is up.
Karen: I shed my tears on the inside.
Helms: I’m sure you do. It’s hard to believe after all this time we’ve spent together, the friendship that we’ve developed, that after tonight we might not ever seen each other again.
Karen: I’ll find a way to get over it.
Helms: You know what I would hate though? What would just stick in my crawl? If we parted on less than amicable terms.
Karen: Agreed.
Helms: So how about we bury the hatchet?
Karen: I’m fine with that.
Helms: And you can make sure we stay on each other’s good side by telling me who it is you stole from my roster.
There it was, Helms’ ulterior motives made plain as day. This request causes Karen to laugh and laugh and laugh. Does she give Helms the answer he wanted? No, instead she just goes on laughing, laughing, laughing, and, you guessed it, laughing.
Karen: That was smooth, Helms, real smooth.
Helms: I’ve been told before that I possess a certain ‘swag.’
Karen: I almost want to tell you, but, well, I’ve kinda been sworn to secrecy.
Helms: Ever heard of the term cop-out?
Karen: You can call it what you will, but it’s nonetheless true. The newest member of my roster wants to keep their identity secret until the Rumble this evening. But there’s one person on the roster who I know isn’t a fan of cloak and dagger tactics. A man who has a certain love for the spotlight. A man who I’m about to call out here to take his number before he puts on an absolute show here in the Rumble. I’m talking about Joooooohnnny Kingdo….
’Unsettling Differences” starts to play over the loud speakers and this is NOT the theme music of Johnny Kingdom. The fans were advertised a wrestling legend but what they get is an infamous rookie. The curtains open to reveal a smug Ricky Holt leading a pantheon of punishers to the stage. Stood behind him are Eric O’Flaherty drinking down the contents of a beer bottle and swinging a baseball bat like a windmill at his side, while Teiji Shintaro crawls along the ground on his palms with a railroad spike clinched between his brown teeth. The commentators get in a reaction to this unexpected and unwelcomed interruption.
Greyson: As has been the motif of the night, another Rumble drawing has just gone horribly awry.
Sparkles: We were advertised Johnny Kingdom but instead we’re getting Teiji Shintaro, Ricky Holt and Eric O’Flaherty, this ultra-violent trio.
Frankie: It’s a trade UP in my opinion.
Greyson: You’re telling me you’d rather take a man covered in shit than Johnny Kingdom?
Frankie: There’s a difference?
The crowd obviously thinks so, hence why their booing these three depraved souls out of the arena. The endless cacophony of the outraged does not stop Holt from saying what he came to say.
Holt: Now don’t go hating me because you think I’m stealing Johnny Kingdom’s spotlight. I’m not. The truth is Kingdom is too busy taking a nap backstage to come out here and draw his number.
The boos only get louder and Holt’s shoulders are only getting closer to his earlobes.
Holt: What? I’m not lying. I’m totally serious. Kingdom is an old man, and he’s a weak man, and old weak people like to take naps in the middle of the day. But guys such as myself don’t need sleep. We can keep going, we can keep bringing the violence 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That’s why men such as myself and Teiji Shintaro are tailor made for the Rumble. We’re built for endurance.
Finally Holt approaches the tumbler.
Holt: So why don’t you let the odds on favorites select the only numbers that matter in tonight’s Rumble?
Begrudgingly Karen opens the tumbler and Holt is reaching into it to take not only his number but Teiji’s as well.
Holt: I’ll do the honors for you, Teiji.
Shintaro doesn’t put up an argument, he just keeps on kneeling there on the stage with the railroad spike in his teeth. He, as well as the rest of the world, watch as Holt takes two numbers out of the tumbler.
Holt: Alright….
He carefully takes a look at BOTH the numbers he selected. He cringes at one and smiles at the other.
Holt: This one is yours (hands over the number that gave him cause to wince), and this one is mind (holds onto the number that brought a smile to his face).
Although Teiji might behave like a savage, he does not have the IQ of one. He knows when he’s getting the raw end of the deal and he does something about it. He doesn’t take the number being given to him, he reaches for the one that isn’t. He grabs Holt’s far wrist and tries to wrestle the number out of his palm.
Holt: Whoa-whoa, what the hell are you doing?
Teiji finally gets the number HE wanted, and once he sees it a demented grin forms on his feces smeared lips.
Holt: Where the fuck do you get off…..?
Although Holt is trying to take back his number Teiji isn’t letting him get anywhere near it. He pushes Holt back and holds tight to the scrap of paper he stole from his teammate.
Holt: You’re going to give me back that number or God help me….
Teiji isn’t giving nothing back, and may regret his stubbornness. Holt hauls off and slugs his own friend right in his jaw. The blow knocks the Terror almost out of his shit stained underwear. Teiji isn’t offended by the blow from his associate, actually he seems to love it. He responds with a shot of his own, hitting a headbutt on the bridge of Holt’s nose. The two now tackle one another down to the floor and roll around trading haymakers. As his clients brawl Eric O’Flaherty stands over them smiling and actually eggs them on. He even takes what’s left in his beer bottle and starts to pour it over his associates.
Frankie: These two are a team?
Greyson: They don’t look like it right now.
Sparkles: Sparkles guesses that they got tired of waiting to get the violence party started.
Greyson: They’ll have plenty of opportunities to find some new victims later tonight when they compete in the Rumble.
There’s one man who’s had more than his fair share of encounters with Ricky Holt and Teiji Shintaro, that man’s name is Matthew Bowden. At the moment he’s standing in a hallway, his shoulder leaning against the wall while a cell-phone is raised to his ear.
Bowden: Start printing the t-shirts, at least make a thousand of them, because I’m telling you, Helen, their going to be selling faster than a Kardashian opens her legs for an ex NBA star.
A confident Bowden lifts the paper with his spot in the Rumble written on it.
Bowden: Yup. Got myself the pick of the litter. So you can be damned sure those ‘Matthew Bowden: 2016 Last Stand Rumble Winner’ t-shirts are going to sell out fast. (Pauses and listens to the phone) Wait. What do you mean thy charge by the letter? Ooookay, can we shorten it? Maybe we can just use abbreviations, like ‘M.B.16.L.S.R.W…’
Kingdom: What the hell is all this racket about!?!
A door a few inches away from Bowden flies open and a groggy Johnny Kingdom steps out. He lets out a loud yawn and stretches his weary muscles before snatching a sleeping cap off the top of his head and throwing it aside.
Kingdom: Can’t a man catch a few minutes of shut eye around here? Jesus Christ.
Kingdom all but ignores Bowden as he walks right past him. However, Bowden can’t help but to pay attention to Kingdom, watching him storm down the hallway.
Bowden: Pfft….old people.
Kat: Can you believe those…..those…..FUCKERS…put their hands on my Kat Kelly Championship.
Kat Kelly will protest to anyone who will listen, but luckily it’s just Ryan Watson and Alistair Taylor forced to hear her out at the moment. The Monarchy members stand just outside their dressing room where a party WAS happening moments ago, but that festive atmosphere is no more. There is little for Monarchy to celebrate, but a lot for them to complain about.
Kat: Look at it (holding up a belt with her picture plastered over the gold plate). They got crud all over it, all over MY championship. This belt is supposed to be about class, it’s supposed to be about elegance and sophistication. It’s supposed to embody everything that the NHB Title wasn’t, and not what ‘she who will not be named’ was all about. I’ll be damned…damned says I….if I allow her underlings to reduce this title…..
Alistair: Kat-Kat-Kat…..
Alistair puts his hands on Kat’s shoulders in an effort to calm her down.
Alistair: You don’t need to worry about either Aaron Harrison or Mya Denton ever again. If they didn’t get the message earlier tonight when I put my fist down Harrison’s throat, I’ll make sure it gets through their thick skulls that they are never to touch your belt again when I throw them out of the Rumble.
Watson: And the Gobshite will be right there to make sure everything Ally just said, comes true.
Kat: Thanks guys, but you know what? I plucked this title (holds up her belt) out of obscurity and instead of letting it get dragged back down into the muck and the mire I’ll do something about Harrison and Mya MYSELF.
Orlando: She might not want your help, but we can use it.
Pain, maybe the worse she’s been in in her life, is exhibited by Taylor Chase, who has turned her husband Orlando into a makeshift crutch. He is helping her down the corridor and towards their compatriots. Alistair is quick to jump under Tay’s opposite arm and to help support her.
Trinity: What happened out there?
The door to Monarchy’s dressing room opens and one of the group’s founding members peaks out. Trinity Street steps into the hall and is instantly bombarded with imagery that only serves to aggravate her.
Trinity: Give her here.
Alistair and Orlando surrender Tay to the waiting arms of Trinity. She props up the First Lady of Wrestling while leading her towards the dressing room.
Trinity: Don’t fret about what just happened out there my dear. You WILL walk out of this arena with your head held high.
The door slams behind Trinity’s back, shutting out the rest of Monarchy. Although Orlando wants to go in and check on his wife he hesitates for a moment, because there’s a discussion he needs to have as well, and it’s with Ryan Watson.
Orlando: Hey mate, remember how you helped me three weeks ago.
Watson’s smile is the only answer that’s needed.
Orlando: I was hoping you could help me out again here tonight.
There’s exhaustion, there’s pain, and then there’s what Katelyn Buehler is suffering at the moment. The IWC World Champion is caked in sweat and swelled with bruises, in quite possibly the worse shape we’ve seen her in after defending her title in a grueling triple threat bout. Correspondent Mark Comeau is here to get her reaction to her hard-fought victory.
Comeau: Katelyn, first and foremost, I have to say congratulations on remaining the IWC World Heavyweight Champion.
Katelyn blows a strand of hair from her face before she responds.
Katelyn: (Wryly) Thanks.
Comeau: How does it feel knowing you defeated not one, but two of your greatest challengers to date?
Katelyn: Well I’ll tell you this much, I’d feel a whole lot better if my win had come at Tay’s expense, and without the outside interference of New Eden. But I guess I’ll have to slay the Tay at a later date, which won’t be at Invictus.
Comeau: In a few moments we’re going to find out who you’ll be facing at that event. We’ve got the Rumble just around the corner and to the victor goes the opportunity to battle you for the Championship.
Katelyn: Believe me, in spite of what just happened out in that ring, I’m eager to find out who that special someone is going to be. Because I’m not the biggest fan of blind-dates, I like to put a face to whoever I’ll be spending a night with.
Comeau: You’ll find out who that is in just a…..
Lexy: Where is it old man!?!
Comeau and Kate whip around to the source of not only screams but the sounds of a scuffle. A beating is being delivered by Lexy Chapel and the man we’ve come to know as Reggie. The two put their boots into the body of their defenseless prey, Dan Douglas. The sight of this assault on her agent has Katelyn abandoning her interview, setting aside her pain and hobbling down the hall. She can’t reach Douglas before her attackers find what they were looking for.
Lexy: Stop right there!
A talisman is torn out of Douglas’ jacket pocket and held out front. Katelyn stops as cold as a glacier when seeing the medallion, finding herself instantly enchanted by it.
Lexy: Good…..verrry good.
Lexy squeezes the talisman tight while putting her hand on the World Champion’s shoulder.
Lexy: Now lift your foot.
Katelyn’s boot rises and stays in the air until Lexy allows her to lower it.
Lexy: Hehe, (smacks the side of her fist down on the Champ’s bicep) WICKED.
The hunt continues. Selena Frost is still tracking down Desmond Drake, searching for him high, and especially low. Her journey takes her down yet another in an endless slew of corridors. In this particular hallway is a fan dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora, puffing on a pipe.
Selena: Excuse me.
She talks to the man blowing a little smoke out of his nostrils.
Selena: Have you seen a little fella about yay high (holds open palm down very close to the ground), holding a title belt twice as big as he is running through here?
The pipe puffing gent doesn’t answer with words and instead just shakes his head ‘no.’
Selena: Thanks for your help anyway.
The Queen of Wrestling Champion walks off to continue her search for her stolen title belt and the little scamp who pilfered it from her. The second Selena vanishes the fan she just talked to is free to open his trenchcoat. Don’t get squeamish, he’s not flashing anyone, though that probably wouldn’t be as bad as what he does reveal between his legs. Desmond Drake steps out from between the gentleman’s knees.
Drake: Thanks bud.
A twenty is handed to the man who just hid Drake under his trenchcoat.
Selena: AH-HA.
Drake almost jumps out of his skin and juggles the Queen of Wrestling Title belt when he’s spotted by Selena. The horrified Drake takes off running with Selena catching up with him and catching up with him fast, the benefits of having longer, adult length legs.
It remains to be seen if Selena Frost will catch up with Desmond Drake because all attention is turning to the ring where announcer Thomas Boll is standing and waiting to handle the biggest announcement of the night.
Boll: Lady and gentlefolk, it is now time for the 2016 LAST STAND RUUUUMBLE!
The San Siro stadium rattles with the enthusiasm unleashed by the audience.
Boll: This match will start with two athletes in the ring. Every two minutes thereafter another competitor will join them. Eliminations can only occur once someone has been thrown over the top rope with both of their feet hitting the floor. The final athlete remaining in the ring will go on to challenge for the World Championship at either IWC Invictus, or UWA Olympus!!
Boll no sooner gets out of the ring before the bell sounds in the background.
Frankie: It’s about time.
Hunter: Yes it is.
Frankie: Whoa-whoa, wait a minute, Greyson, did you put on weight?
Hunter: I’m not Greyson Lovejoy. Obviously the wrestlers from the UWA and the IWC aren’t the only members of either roster that are going to be mixing it up tonight. You and I have been chosen to split commentating duties for the Rumble.
Frankie: Fair enough. This relationship will work just fine as long as you sit back, keep your mouth shut and let me handle the bulk of the work just like I always do.
Hunter: You do realize the story here isn’t about you and I, right?
Frankie: Since when?
Hunter: We’re moments away from finding out who is going to start out the Rumble, and who very well could win it. I’m excited about this Frankie, we’re about to see who’s going to main event Invictus or Olympus. This is exciting. This IS HUGE!
Frankie: Keep it in your pants, Greyson. Calm down.
Hunter: I’m NOT Greyson Lovejoy!
2016 LAST STAND RUMBLE
Everyone attentively watches the entry way, just DYING to know who is going to be the very first entrant in the Rumble. The wait isn’t long because here comes the lyrics of Ethan Von Aaron’s theme music. There is quite the rabble at the sight of Ethan, banged up body and all moving through the curtains to the stage. The injuries he suffered in the Last Man Standing match earlier tonight won’t stop him from showing off on the stage by doing some pelvic thrusts and pointing to his….chin?
Hunter: UWA’s own Ethan Von Aaron the first man out in the Rumble.
Frankie: Fortune definitely didn’t favor Ethan, and that’s sad considering that he’s one of the few UWA talents I can actually tolerate.
Hunter: He’s got to be aching after his Last Man Standing match against Orlando Cruze earlier tonight, but he’s courageously competing in this Rumble nevertheless.
Frankie: Kinda ironic isn’t it? Ethan’s wife Alana Star is coming out last in the Rumble, so it’s only fitting that Ethan comes out first.
Hunter: How is that fitting?
Frankie: I don’t know, it was just something to say.
Once in the ring Ethan continues to do as Taylor Swift suggested and shake it off. He just tries to walk off his pre-existing injuries in order to do the unthinkable, survive from the number one spot to go on and win tonight’s Rumble. He does a little shadow boxing before grabbing at his shoulder and wincing in pain.
Hunter: Ethan has got a steep hill to climb. Let’s see who’s going to be the first person to stand in his way of winning the Rumble. Who drew number 2?
Once again the crowd is attentively watching the entry way in rabid anticipation. Their wait pays off when the opening lyrics of ‘Phenomenal’ hits the loud speakers. Lo and behold it’s revealed that Orlando Cruze is the man who selected number two. He steps through the curtains looking a little worse for wear but the Phenom isn’t holding anything back. The only thing he holds are his ribs, having one arm extended across them while the other arm is used to raise his pointed finger at his flapping gums.
Hunter: ORLANDO?
Frankie: Orlando Cruze is number 2?
Hunter: I certainly did not see this one coming.
Frankie: The two guys who tore each other apart in that Last Man Standing match at the start of the night are ending the night fighting it out once again in the Rumble.
Hunter: Now this IS fitting.
Frankie: Can we both just agree that neither one of us know what the word ‘fitting’ means.
Orlando Cruze continues to run his mouth as he makes his way down the ramp and draws nearer to a stunned Ethan Von Aaron waiting for him in the ring. Ethan pivots between feet, and throws some more punches at the air to show that he’s ready and raring to go another round with Orlando.
Ethan: Come on….let’s go…get yourself in here and let’s….
Suddenly a big punch nails Ethan right in the back of his head. The blow is delivered by Monarchy member Alistair Taylor.
Hunter: HEY NOW!
Frankie: Monarchy sticking together yet again.
Hunter: Where did Alistair Taylor come from?
Frankie: The most glorious vagina ever.
Hunter: I mean where did he come from just now?
Frankie: Wherever he was hiding it paid off, because he got the ambush on Ethan.
Hunter: This is bullshit, he’s softening Ethan up for fellow Monarchy member Orlando Cruze.
Alistair drags Ethan up off of the canvas only to drive him straight back down to it with the overdrive.
Hunter: This is such bullshit.
Frankie: Oooh quit crying, like Ethan wouldn’t have done the same thing if he had thought of it first.
Right now the only thought on Ethan’s mind is the pain he’s in. Pain Alistair just left him in. After doing the damage Alistair vacates the ring, rolling out and walking towards Orlando Cruze now stood at the base of the ramp and snickering. He and Alistair bump knuckles before heading in opposite directions. As Alistair walks away from the ring Orlando goes sliding right into it. Laughter comes from the Phenom as he spits into his palms, rubs them together and then reaches down grabbing hold of Ethan’s hair. He takes his time dragging Ethan up from the ground before pointing at the ropes.
Frankie: It’s academic now. Sorry Ethan, wrong place, wrong time.
Ethan can barely stand but he won’t have to for very long. He’s thrown off, flung over the ropes and the outside of the ring.
Frankie: Goodbye Ethan Von….
Hunter: Not so fast.
To the disbelief of everyone in the arena Ethan grabs the top rope on the way over and lands on his seat across the apron.
Hunter: He’s hanging in there.
Frankie: HORSESHIT!
There’s no shit, be it equine or other, Ethan IS still hanging on. Amazingly he gets back to his feet on the apron and does so just in time to catch a surprised Orlando with a shoulder block through the ropes. Orlando is doubled over clasping at his ribs while Ethan clasps at something else, the cables he’s pulling himself over. He catches Orlando by the hips on the way over and then drags him down into the sunset flip…a sunset flip that Orlando rolls right out of. Orlando is back on his feet, grabs Ethan by the legs and steps through them. Ethan is then rolled over to his stomach where he’s trapped….trapped in the sharpshooter.
Frankie: He’s got it locked on…..hahahahaha…sharpshooter applied on Ethan.
Hunter: After everything that he’s gone through tonight this HAS to be the worse pain Ethan’s ever been in.
Frankie: All of which could have been avoided if Ethan had allowed Orlando to throw him out.
Hunter: Come off it now.
The anguish is excruciating and Ethan just doesn’t know how much longer he can tolerate it. Tapping out wouldn’t mean he’s eliminated but he still doesn’t want to give Orlando that satisfaction. Luckily for Ethan the timer has just started meaning that another athlete is about to come down the ramp and presumably help him.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4….
Hunter: Another competitor about to hit the ring.
Frankie: And this couldn’t come at a better time for Von Aaron.
Hunter: By the grace of God it seems he’s gonna have some help combating Orlando.
Cruze doesn’t even concern himself with the countdown clock, he’s so focused on hurting Ethan nothing else matters. But something is about to.
…2, 1….BUUUUUZZZ!
A loud buzzer goes off all around the arena just before the tunes of “We Own It” plays over the PA system.
Hunter: OH….MY….GOD!
Frankie: Damn-damn-damn….
All the color goes out of Orlando’s face when he hears the entrance music of ANDRE JORDAN. His eyes are bulging out of their sockets as he whips around to the stage and sees Andre stepping out from the back. Dre receives tremendous fanfare upon reaching the set where he then proceeds to slowly pry back the hood of his sweatshirt from his face. He lets Orlando get a good long look at a glare so chilling it could put ice the Phenom’s veins.
Hunter: Orlando can’t believe it. He’s about to be face to face with the one man he did NOT want to run into during the Rumble tonight.
Frankie: Pfft…Andre has been running from a fight with Orlando for months…..
Hunter: Oh don’t you dare. I’ve been watching Riot and I’ve seen Orlando do everything he can to avoid a fair fight with Andre.
Frankie: Well it’s a moot point right now, cause these two are FINALLY going at it. Orlando is FINALLY gonna get a crack at Andre, and this time there are no skirts for Dre to hide behind.
Orlando is shaking his head once he gets a good long look at the fierce eyes of his rival. Andre methodically starts down the ramp, savoring every step he takes towards his greatest IWC rival. What he doesn’t savor is the megaphone that just cracked him right in the back of the head. The whole building turns and turns quickly when seeing Monarchy’s Ryan Watson running out through the curtains, dashing down the ramp and getting the drop on an unsuspecting Andre.
Frankie: HAHAHAHA-AAAAH-HAHAHAHA!
Hunter: AGAIN!!??!!
Frankie: Another member of Monarchy laying out another of Orlando’s opponents in the Rumble.
Hunter: I knew Monarchy was going to have a negative effect on the Rumble, but dammit, I didn’t know they were going to cause such chaos so soon.
Watson continues to cause that chaos by driving the megaphone he’s holding into the shoulder blades of Andre a second time. Even though Dre is down Watson keeps smacking him again and again and again with the megaphone. The megaphone is dropped so that Watson can scoop Andre off the ramp and then drive his skull down into the steel with an evenflow DDT.
Orlando is really enjoying what he’s seeing in the ring, that is until he turns and walks right into a dropkick to the face. Somehow Ethan has recovered and done so in time to lay his rival out with this kick.
Hunter: Ethan is back up and he’s fighting.
Frankie: What the hell? I thought Alistair finished him off.
Hunter: Apparently not.
Ethan doesn’t stop with a dropkick, he pulls Orlando up from the ring and smacks him across the forehead with a punch. He then hits a chop across Orlando’s chest that sends the Phenom almost out of his boots. Orlando falls back against the ropes and now Ethan hits him with another dropkick that sends him ALMOST over the cables.
Frankie: AH…Oh thank God.
Hunter: Ethan almost eliminating Orlando.
Orlando falls THROUGH the ropes and to the apron. As Orlando clings desperately to the cables, his teammate Ryan Watson goes on putting boots to the back of an unconscious Andre on the rampway.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….
Hunter: The countdown clock commencing again. Hopefully we can get someone out here to help Andre Jordan. He’s in a bad-bad way after that beating he just received from the bullhorn.
Mackie: Screw Andre, it’s Orlando who needs help.
…4, 3, 2, 1….BUZZZ!
There’s the buzzer again and who is it that was just given their cue to head for the ring? Someone who won’t have to make a very long run. Ryan Watson stops beating on Andre and slides into the ring so he can start beating on Ethan instead.
Hunter: Dammit, it’s Ryan Watson.
Frankie: The Godshite? Awesome. That means Monarchy has the advantage…..
Hunter: Yes, we know EXACTLY what that means and we do NOT have to like it.
Frankie: Of course you do. You have to shut your mouth and take it, just like my prom date.
Watson looks to make quick work of Ethan, throwing a jab that much to his chagrin is blocked. Watson is even more surprised when he’s caught in the ribs with a spinning back heel kick. The shot doubles Watson over and then exposes the back of his skull to a step up enzugari. The strike connects right on point and sends Watson spiraling along into the ropes, falling against them for support. Ethan sees an opportunity and has to strike at it while he can. He builds momentum by running straight into a lariat aimed at Watson’s throat, intent on sending his target back flipping over the ropes, eliminating him from the bout. Just as Ethan is about to hit the clothesline it’s a forearm that connects instead. Orlando has rolled back into the ring and done so just in time to deliver a devastating elbow smash across Ethan’s temple. The shot sends Ethan spinning in a full circle, turning back to face Watson….to face HIS boot. Orlando’s Monarchy teammate cracks Ethan in the top of his skull with the Pele Kick.
Hunter: Ethan really not fairing too well out there right now.
Frankie: He wouldn’t be doing very good even if Monarchy didn’t have the number’s advantage. As much as I respect Ethan, he’s still a UWA talent, and that automatically decreases his odds of winning the Rumble.
Hunter: That is the biggest crock I’ve ever heard…
Frankie: No, the biggest crock you’ve ever heard was when the doctor held you by the ankles just outside your mom’s womb and said ‘it’s a boy.’
Ethan’s arms are clinched and held behind his back by Orlando so that Watson can unload with stomps and punches across the exposed mid-section. Watson then takes over holding Ethan so that Orlando can get in a few strikes. With his arms pinned behind his back Ethan is unable to block the repeated punches Orlando nails straight across his brow.
Monarchy have got their jollies wearing Ethan out, but now the time has come for grown men to part with their toys. Watson and Orlando take hold of Ethan’s wrists and start to run him along towards the ropes, throwing him over in order to eliminate him from this match. But Ethan resists, grabbing the cables and clinging to them tight to resist going over.
Hunter: Monarchy almost throwing Ethan out but he’s still hanging on.
Frankie: Exercise some of that world famous intelligence you’re known for Ethan and just let go. You don’t want to stay in there and keep taking this beating from Monarchy.
Hunter: Speaking of beatings from Monarchy, EMTS are finally out here to help Andre.
Although he’s reluctant to accept aid Andre has no choice, he’s obviously on dream street, EMTS are assisting him up the ramp after all the strikes he took to the back of his head with a megaphone. His legs keep buckling under him and he keeps falling back down, requiring the EMTS to put a little more muscle into holding him up.
10, 9, 8, 8, 7, 6, 5….
Frankie: Andre got extremely lucky he didn’t make it into that ring with Orlando.
Hunter: Well hopefully our next entrant WILL make it into the ring and actually get a chance to compete in the Rumble.
….2, 1…..BUUUUUUZZ!
There’s the buzzer and here’s the next participant in the Rumble. Hairspray bombards the entry way before Franz can even make it out from the back. So much chemical is being employed on his skull it would make a normal man nauseous and maybe that will work out to the benefit of this member of the Hair-Doodes.
Frankie: Who let Franz into the Rumble?
Hunter: Probably the same person who let YOU into the Rumble last year.
Frankie: Nobody likes moxie.
Franz keeps on dousing his head in hairspray as he moves down the ramp in his leopard print leather pants. He throws off his fuzzy fedora and then slides into the ring where he doesn’t even get a chance to put his boots under him. Already Watson and Orlando are on him, stomping and stomping and stomping away at the back of his skull. It isn’t until Monarchy lets Franz up that he’s allowed to stand on his own two feet. He’s pulled up and then flung along into the ropes, caught on the rebound with a hip toss by Orlando into a back breaker across Watson’s raised knee.
Hunter: Monarchy continuing to work fabulously as a team here.
Frankie: They have such a sound strategy, Monarchy works together to get rid of the rift-raft and then we’re guaranteed that one of them will move onto the Invictus main event.
Franz is seemingly the first of many Monarchy victims. He’s pulled off Watson’s knee and then hit with a Russian leg sweep. He keeps hold of Franz while rolling backwards out of the leg sweep and onto his feet. Franz is stood up as well, but only so that Watson and Orlando can take him by his oh so precious hair, run him at the ropes and toss him over to the outside.
Hunter: Franz is gone.
Frankie: The first man eliminated from the 2016 Last Stand Rumble.
Hunter: He won’t be the last one. Monarchy has a lot of future victims waiting in the wings.
Actually, they forgot about one they still had in the ring with them already. Ethan Von Aaron reminds his adversaries of his presence, nailing an unsuspecting Orlando with a punch between the eyes. He then turns and hits Watson with a shot as well. He’s got both men teetering on their heels.
Hunter: Look at Ethan fight. He’s going against Monarchy all on his own.
Frankie: And this is after he was in a brutal Last Man Standing match against Orlando earlier in the night.
Ethan hits a wild punch straight across Orlando’s jaw, finally taking him off of his feet. Now Ethan’s elbow is directed at the top of Watson’s head. He goes for a bionic elbow and successfully hits it. The blow stumbles Watson but does not take him off of his feet. So Ethan builds some momentum, running into the ropes and ricocheting off so he can channel all his power behind a lariat. Unfortunately all that momentum carries him along right into STEREO SUPERKICKS. Orlando and Watson steal a page out of Wicked Intent’s playbook by hitting their own Superkick Soiree. Two boots crack right under Ethan’s jaw, and the stiff shot sends a disorientated Von Aaron falling back through the ropes. That’s when his shins hit the top cable, catapulting him back up to his feet and then into a stereo NIGEL.
Hunter: A double Nigel!
The rebound clothesline catches BOTH Watson and Orlando across their throats, driving the two down. There a lot of things surprising about this, the fact that Ethan is still fighting, the fact that he’s fighting with more heart than ever, and the fact that the fans are actually applauding him as he does it. Ethan is just on fire right now, jumping to his feet, slapping either side of his chest and looking to parlay his momentum into the Epic Fail. He backs into a corner, stomps his foot and readies to unleash the spinning superkick on whomever stands up first.
Frankie: This is not happening. I refuse to believe it. This is some type of illusion brought on by all those mushrooms I ate back in high-school.
Hunter: You ate mushrooms in high-school.
Frankie: Well…actually Mario did, but I was the one controlling him while he did it.
Hunter: Rather you accept it or not, Ethan is about to unload with the Epic Fail, and I can guarantee that it will be Orlando’s jaw that he’s aiming at.
Orlando struggles and strains to get up to his feet, exhausting himself just to stand. And for what purpose, so he can get his jaw crushed by Ethan’s Epic Fail? Seems so. Orlando turns around and walks right into the superkick that Ethan is spinning around to unleash. But Watson jumps in front of a bullet. Well, actually he jumps shoulder first into the crease of Ethan’s planted foot. Ethan falls back as his leg buckles around Watson’s shoulder.
Frankie: That is teamwork at its absolute best.
Hunter: It’s sickening is what it is.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Ethan tries to fold up his leg and cradle himself around it but Orlando is right there, latching onto it. Once again Ethan finds himself rolled to his stomach and placed in the sharpshooter. Orlando rears back on the hold as far as he can, doing significant damage to the legs and the small of his rival’s spine. At the same time Watson is grabbing Ethan under the jaw and straddling his upper back, placing him in the camel clutch.
Frankie: Sorry Ethan, but seriously bruh, you should have let Monarchy toss you earlier on. Ya brought this on yourself.
….4, 3, 2, 1……BUZZZZ!!
The countdown clock on the big screen cycles to one and the fans hope that all this hype isn’t building to ANOTHER member of the Hair-Doodes heading for the ring. Well we do see another entrant with a fixation on his hair, but it’s a man a bit more prolific to the wrestling universe. The Transformers theme of “More Than Meets the Eye” plays over the loud speakers and the crowd goes apeshit in reaction. The man who makes his way out from the back is former IWC World Champion, HURSE!
Frankie: WHAT!?!
Hunter: That’s-that’s-that’s HURSE! It’s HURSE!
Frankie: WHAT!!??!!
The San Siro stadium certainly didn’t expect this, especially considering the last time they saw Hurse he was brooding around with the True Sinistry and calling himself Harbinger. The goth image has been shed and Hurse is back to his beloved appearance, but he is back in the same shape that took him to title wins? We’re about to find out. Hurse jumps up to the apron and Orlando is the first to go make a move towards his former nemesis. He runs across the ring only to have Hurse baseball slide from the apron under the cables and through Orlando’s legs. He then stands up behind Orlando, waits for him to turn around and then catches him around the neck. Watson looks to break up whatever Hurse is trying to hit, dashing in and grabbing one of boots. No, wait, Hurse is putting that boot willingly to Watson’s chest and then pushing off so that he can flip back and hit the More Than Meets the Eye. The Standing Sliced Bread connects to a thunderous ovation.
Hunter: Yes! Yes Hurse taking out Orlando!
Frankie: What in the hell is he doing here? Orlando wasn’t ready to fight Hurse. This isn’t right. This isn’t fair! This-this-this is hinky!
Hunter: What the hell does hinky mean?
Frankie: I don’t know I’m just shouting things. I just know it’s not FITTING.
Hunter: Don’t start that again.
Watson will avenge his teammate, catching Hurse the moment he gets to his feet. Before Hurse can even get all the way up he’s hit with a kick to the gut that keeps him folded over. Watson hooks both of his adversary’s arms and sets to deliver the Insubordination Rules.
Frankie: End it Gobshite.
Hunter: This is amazing. I never thought I’d see the day that Ryan Watson and Hurse were in the same ring together.
Frankie: They won’t be very much longer.
Watson lifts his opponent….no….WATSON is lifted. Ethan sneaks in behind him, catches Watson by the shoulder, breaks the attempt at the Insubordination Rules and tries to break his opponent’s back in the process. He lifts him into a suplex only to have Watson flip over, landing on his feet and then taking off into the ropes. He runs straight at Ethan only to find that his target does not stand alone. Ethan and Hurse have just interlocked hands and have just delivered a stereo clothesline.
Frankie: What-what-what-what the hell is going on here?
Hunter: I’ll tell you what’s going on here. Rinse & Repeat are back together baby!
No sooner do they deliver the stereo clothesline than Hurse and Ethan take notice of the crowd’s electric reaction. The two spin in circles, looking out over the crazed audience and then back at one another. Both men grin, nod and then bump knuckles before running at the Monarchy members in opposite corners of the ring. Ethan has scaled the corner with Orlando beneath him and is unloading with punches across his brow. On the other end of the ring Watson finds himself subjected to jab after jab from the man stood on the ropes in front of him, Hurse just teeing off on his mug.
The countdown clock starts again.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6….
Hunter: I don’t know how this match could get any crazier than it is right now, but we’ve got another entrant on their way out here.
Frankie: Good God I don’t even want to know who’s coming out next after this latest debacle.
Hunter: Still can’t believe ex tag team partners Ethan and Hurse have reunited.
….4, 3, 2, 1….BUZZZ!
There’s that buzzer again which indicates that we’ve got another potential twist coming our way. An American flag shows up on the Cartel-tron with a bald eagle superimposed over it. This patriotic display can only mean that Homeland Security’s biggest advocate Flash Silver is making his way out from the back. Although Flash took a nasty lashing earlier that night by Cindy Todd, he still manages to drag himself to the stage. He’s very careful to protect the neck that’s wrapped in a collar as he descends down the ramp.
Hunter: Oh for Christ sakes, just go home Flash.
Frankie: Heeey now, don’t sell Flash Silver short. This man bleeds red white and blue, he’s got the power of patriotism pumping through his heart.
Hunter: He’s lucky that heart didn’t get cut out of his chest earlier on tonight when he collided with Cindy Todd.
Flash heads on straight down that ramp with the same motivation he shows when running for a voting booth. He slides inside the ring and runs right across it, dropkicking Ethan in the lower back. Unfortunately for Ethan he was standing on the ropes when this dropkick happened, meaning he was just sent flipping over the cables and falling to the outside of the ring. But he doesn’t fall all the way to the floor, instead it’s the apron he lands across, staving off elimination.
Hunter: Oh man, that was INCREDIBLY close to being an upset elimination.
Frankie: See, that’s the power of patriotism.
We get another display of said power when Flash runs at Orlando, who WAS standing in the corner being subjected to punch after punch from Ethan. Now it’s Flash who is about to hit those punches, or at least he would if Orlando didn’t thwart him at the last second. Orlando ducks, catches Flash coming in and then backdrops him over the ropes. Before he can take a plunge to the outside mats Flash grabs the top rope and puts his feet to the apron, saving himself. Orlando didn’t have the same luck, failing to save himself from the running heat seeking dropkick that Hurse nails him in the skull with. The blow rattles the Monarchy member enough to knock him from his feet and to his seat.
At that exact same time Flash turns on the apron to face the man he ALMOST eliminated a few seconds earlier. He runs right into Ethan….right into Ethan’s EPIC FAIL. The twisting superkick crushes Flash’s face and the impact sends Silver twisting as well, twisting all the way to the floor.
Hunter: What were you saying about the power of patriotism?
Frankie: What did I say about your moxie?
Flash remains out cold at ringside and Ethan hopes to leave a few more people in the same condition. Namely the man coming across the ring and bearing down right on him. Watson attempts to eliminate Ethan from the Rumble by springing from a perpendicular set of middle ropes and then twisting into a springboard dropkick. However, right before he can hit that kick Watson is caught in mid-air, Hurse dragging him down into a fireman’s carry. It seems Hurse is about to deliver a DVD only to have that move countered at the absolute last possible second, Watson slipping free and landing on his feet as opposed to on his back. He comes down behind Hurse and then shoves him along right into the ropes that Ethan is standing on the opposite side of. Before the two can collide Ethan leaps to the top rope and springs off, leap frogging over Hurse and then flying into an axehandle elbow. He hits Watson right across the top of the skull, taking him down to the ring.
10, 9, 8, 7….
The countdown is ongoing as is the violence. Hurse comes running out of the ropes he was just sent hurdling into and charges straight into his close friend’s hands. Ethan throws his former tag team partner high into the air then steps out from under him as he descends into a big splash onto Watson’s…..no….Watson rolls clear and as a result Hurse smacks the ring chest first. Ethan tries to succeed where his friend failed, flipping back into a standing moonsault aimed at Watson yet proving just as unsuccessful as Hurse, smacking the ring much as Hurse did.
Hunter: Five seconds from another body joining the fray.
Frankie: Come on, give us another Monarchy member baby.
Hurse was able to get back to his feet while Ethan struggles to get off his hands and knees. It’s Watson who takes advantage of the way his opponents are positioned, running across the ring, stepping off the small of Ethan’s back and launching himself into a shining wizard on a standing Hurse’s face. The strike sends Hurse spiraling absent mindedly right into a double A spinebuster unleashed by Watson’s associate Orlando.
….4, 3, 2, 1…..BUZZZZ!
There is quite the boom of excitement when Business Time plays over the PA system and Cassius DeLight emerges from the back.
Hunter: It’s time to LIGHT it up…actually, wait, it’s time to DE-light it up.
Frankie: You really want to make me vomit, don’t you?
Hunter: We saw just how fired up Cassius DeLight was earlier tonight, let’s see if he can bring this newfound intensity into the Rumble.
They don’t have to wait very long to find out, cause once Cassius is in the ring he’s already dashing straight into the Business Time, a spear that almost cuts Watson in half. This lethal impact is followed by another one, the second Cassius gets to his feet he springs across the ring and nails a SECOND spear, this time to the ribs of Orlando. It feels like the Phenom is about to gag on his lungs. Cassius keeps putting the hurt on everyone in the ring. He catches Ethan with a spinning heel kick, driving him down to the ring then taking off into the ropes. He drops down into the Bankroll, flipping into the rolling thunder splash, but when he lunges out of his roll he’s caught in mid-air with a dropkick by Hurse.
Frankie: That’ll put an end to your momentum.
Hunter: Cassius pretty much just rolled right into a brick wall.
The kick unleashed by Hurse sufficiently shut down Cassius, who is now thrown into the turnbuckle. On the other side of the ring Ethan is dragging Watson into another corner and then dropping down to all fours. Hurse and Ethan show continued teamwork as one springs off the back of the other. Hurse runs in and steps off Ethan’s spine in order to hit a leg lariat on Watson in the corner. Meanwhile Ethan is rolling to his side across the ring and ending up on all fours just a few inches removed from Cassius, who is still standing with the aid of the corner. The turnbuckle won’t be enough to support him should Ethan and Hurse follow through with what they have planned. Hurse runs across the ring, steps off the small of Ethan’s back and launches himself right into his adversary’s SHOULDER. Cassius jumps off the middle rope and catches an airborne Hurse with a SPEAR.
Hunter: OOOOH DAMN! Spear in mid-air.
Frankie: Retaliation.
Now Cassius is all over Hurse’s long time bud, drilling Ethan again and again over the upper back. He then pulls his opponent by the hair towards the ropes, throwing him over the cables. However, Ethan refuses to go over with such ease, wrapping himself around the top rope with both arms while crossing his legs on the middle strand. Cassius keeps blasting and blasting and blasting him across the kidneys, trying to break his grasp on the strands. Since that proves ineffective Cassius puts his head into it, delivering one headbutt after another to Ethan’s ribcage.
10, 9, 8, 7…..
Everyone in the arena waits for the entrance of the next participant in the rumble, save for one individual. A confused audience watches as Damion Sommers comes running down the ramp and right past the security guards who are trying to stop him.
Hunter: What the hell is Sommers doing out here AGAIN!?!
Frankie: When is he going to get a clue? He’s not a wrestler anymore. Go to Wal-Mart and start bagging my groceries already.
Hunter: Earlier on we saw Damion try to get his job back only to lose against Cassius DeLight, I think he’s out for some payback.
Frankie: Ladies and gentlemen, Damion is NOT the next entrant in the Rumble. He doesn’t even have a job here anymore.
Cassius doesn’t see Damion until it’s too late. Sommers is all over him, pummeling him with clubbing blows and kicks to the thighs. He then backs up and gets a running start behind a forearm only to have Cassius side step the clown painted attacker, grab him by the back of the head and throw him over the top rope. The moment Damion hits the floor security are all over him, dragging him towards the backstage area.
….4, 3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZ!
Hunter: There goes Sommers and now we’ve got a LEGAL entrant coming out here to compete in the Rumble.
Who will that entrant be? It’s when the theme music ‘Apocalyptic” hits that the fans get their answer. Victoria Salinas emerges from the backstage area amidst one of the loudest ovations of the night.
Hunter: Listen to this reception for Victoria Salinas. She’s got the crowd behind her.
Frankie: Yeah, she’s no stranger to having guys behind her.
Hunter: Don’t even. Victoria is getting these fans screaming, but will they still be chanting her name by the end of the Rumble?
Frankie: I’d never chant her name, it has too many damned syllables, I’d get out of breath.
Although Victoria hasn’t even reached the ring she’s already encountering some competition. Damion Sommers breaks away from security and barrels up the ramp right into Victoria. She has to think fast and react even faster. She bends down and catches Sommers with a back drop that sends him flipping over and slamming back first into the steel ramp. Victoria then takes off towards the squared circle, climbs to the apron and keeps on climbing until she’s on the top rope. She comes flying off and crashes straight into the Orlando’s chest.
Hunter: No surprise here, Victoria going directly after Monarchy.
Frankie: Wait-wait-wait, she actually thinks she’s significant enough to matter to Monarchy?
Hunter: I think she matters to Orlando Cruze right now, or at least the pain she just put him in does.
After the crossbody Victoria pops back up and no sooner gets to her feet before being forced to combat a leg lariat. Watson comes at her swinging his calf around but failing to hit his target. Victoria has ducked, run forward into the ropes, ricocheted off and is now building momentum behind a clothesline. This time Watson ducks down and Victoria goes dashing past him straight into the European Uppercut that awaited her jaw. Orlando bided his time until she was within range and then cracked her upside the chin the moment she got in arm’s length. The shot knocks Victoria back and now Orlando looks to take her out with a superkick. Surprisingly Victoria is able to drop into a baseball slide, slipping under the boot bound for her jaw and then popping up to her feet just in time to catch an incoming Cassius. She puts her boots to his ribs, grabs him by the back of the head then falls back, monkey flipping him right into a STEREO clothesline that connects with both Watson and Orlando.
Hunter: That worked nicely.
Frankie: Victoria simply got lucky. That’s all. Just you wait until Monarchy get their second wind and make her pay for all of this.
That’s just what Monarchy seem to be doing at the moment, collecting themselves. They merely watch as Victoria joins Cassius in an effort to push Ethan Von Aaron over the ropes, eliminating him from the Rumble. Hurse won’t let that happen, running in and hitting a jumping knee to Victoria’s back. The collision sends her flying forward into the ropes and then THROUGH them. Fortunately she does not go over the cables on her descent to the outside of the ring. Cassius might not be so lucky as he’s spun around, taken by the back of the head and run the length of the squared circle. Hurse throws Cassius over the cables….
Frankie: He’s gone, Cassius is out!
Hunter: No-no-no, he’s holding on.
Astonishingly Cassius grabbed the rope on his way over and lands safely on the apron. Hurse dashes across the ring in order to knock him off only to have Cassius hit a forearm smash. The blow sends Hurse twisting down to the canvas, landing on all fours. Cassius is lured into a false sense of security, because he may have saved himself momentarily, but his protection won’t last forever. Ethan Von Aaron runs the length of the ring, steps off of Hurse’s back and launches himself into a dropkick that nails Cassius in the chest. The shot knocks his feet off the apron and ALMOST sends him to the floor. Yet again Cassius manages to grab the ropes and keep from being eliminated.
10, 9, 8, 7….
The clock is cycling down, meaning someone is about to fling themselves into the fray. As we wait to find out who that is the action continues inside of the ring. Ethan and Hurse are right in the thick of it.
Ethan swings around into the Epic Fail aimed at his favorite target, Orlando Cruze. Once again his attempt to deliver the spinning superkick is thwarted, Cruze catching the kick bound for his jaw and then shoving it away. Ethan is unable to stop his boot as it swings around colliding with the temple of his own associate. Hurse is knocked unconscious and it was Ethan who was responsible for making that happen. He looks strangely conflicted by what he just did, but doesn’t have much time to deal with the guilt. He turns back towards Orlando and Watson, who unleash a SECOND stereo superkick.
…3, 2, 1…..BUZZZ!
Frankie: I feel really bad for whoever’s coming out here next. They have to contend with Monarchy.
Hunter: Who have retaken control of this match.
Frankie: I don’t need you to finish my thoughts for me.
Hunter: Believe me, insight into your mind is the last thing I want.
Ethan is out and now so is Victoria Salinas. The moment she got back to the apron she gets cracked in the face with a superkick through the ropes by Watson, knocking her straight to the floor once again. She doesn’t get a chance to see what everyone else does, the next entrant headed into the Rumble. The theme music of ‘We Own It” sparks an uproar from the audience.
Frankie: Oh no…..ooooh God no…..
Andre Jordan comes staggering out from the back to a deafening roar from the audience. He’s got one hand on the back of his neck and another clinched to his side, but soon both those hands will be around Orlando’s throat.
Hunter: Andre’s coming out here again?
Frankie: This is just pathetic. What does he think he’s going to accomplish?
Hunter: He tried to enter the Rumble earlier but got blindsided by Ryan Watson. And we all know it was Orlando Cruze who put out that hit.
Frankie: Are you kidding me? Orlando has been itching to get his hands on Andre, but somehow Dre always finds a way to avoid fighting him.
Hunter: That’s about to change right now.
Orlando is surprised to say the least that Andre is coming back down that ramp. Nevertheless the Phenom gets in a fighting stance, gesturing for Dre to bring it. That’s precisely what Andre is about to do, marching down the ramp to finish what started between himself and Orlando so long ago. He is almost there before finding his progress halted when a kendo stick smacks him straight between the shoulder blades. Once again Andre is ambushed, this time by Monarchy member Alistair Taylor.
Hunter: NOT AGAIN!
Frankie: Hahahaha oh my God dude, this is fucking hysterical.
Hunter: Andre being jumped by another member of Monarchy.
Frankie: A member he’s no stranger with.
In spite of taking two crushing blows from the kendo stick, Andre is trying to work his way up from the ground only to get a third and maybe the most fatal blow of all right across the back of his neck. Andre goes so limp not even Bob Dole’s favorite medication could help him. The audience might be screaming for Andre to get up but Monarchy are enjoying the sight of him staying down. Never before has Orlando been so entertained, though that joy is short lived. He’s spun by the shoulder into a fist unleashed by Cassius DeLight. Punch after punch drives Orlando back and a jumping knee to the cheek finally floors him. Cassius is about to go on giving this beating only to have Monarchy continue to watch one another’s backs, Watson intervenes with a step up enzugari. He smacks Cassius in the skull and sends him flopping to the canvas. Watson then pops back up to his feet throwing his arms out to his sides and showing off for a very unappreciative audience.
10, 9, 8, 7….
No one is paying attention to Watson’s grandstanding, they’re all focused on Andre, who to the amazement of all is crawling down the ramp. His attacker vanished to the back no longer preventing him from bringing his injured body towards the ring, so now it’s up to EMTS to stop him. Several are amassed around Andre, blocking him from getting into the squared circle after the damage that was inflicted on him before he could even get in the Rumble, thanks to not one but two ambushes. Watson sees Andre on all fours at ringside, and the image is funnier than any Seth McFarlane production that the Gobshite has ever seen. He approaches the ropes and leans over them, pointing down at Dre.
Watson: Get it through your head boy, you are not getting in this ring.
Watson is through getting his jollies at Andre’s expense, turning away from him and walking straight into the EPIC FAIL. The building erupts at the sight of Ethan cracking the jawline of Watson with the spinning superkick and sending him flying back into the ropes. Watson’s back hits the ropes and then a clothesline hits his throat…a clothesline unleashed by Victoria Salinas. She has recovered from the superkick that floored her at ringside then rolled into the squared circle in time to unleash a dashing clothesline on Watson’s throat that sends him flipping back over the cables to the outside.
Frankie: NOOO!
Hunter: Watson-Watson is out, he’s out of the Rumble!
Frankie: Not cool!
….3, 2, 1…..
The countdown clock has reached zero and once again the theme music of the Hair-Doodes is playing over the loud speakers. It’s Froderick’s turn to represent the stylists turned tag team specialists. He divides his time walking down the ramp and tweezing his eyebrows. He may not care what’s going on down at the base of the ramp, however the rest of the crowd certainly does. Although Watson’s jaw is killing him there’s something else he yearns to be killing. He pulls Andre up from the ground and then blasts him around the temple with a forearm. After suffering two prior assaults at the hands of Alistair and Watson himself, Dre isn’t able to put up much of a defense. EMTS try to get in the way to stop another beating but Watson throws them aside and keeps going after Andre. With each blow he lands on Dre, Watson looks back over his shoulder at the ring where Victoria is watching.
Watson: You did this!
Watson swings around and clobbers Andre in the cheek once again. Victoria has seen enough, starting to exit the ring to assist her friend and she’s given a little help in her exit from the ring. Suddenly Cassius runs in from behind Victoria, grabs her by the shin and lifts, sending her forward flipping over the cables.
Frankie: That’s right, get that bitch out of there!
Hunter: Not yet, Frankie, she’s got a grip on those ropes.
Frankie: Then bite her damn fingers!
Much to the relief of the audience Victoria has landed on the apron and is holding the top rope. She is trying to get back up and back into the ring only to have her foot snagged on the arms of Froderick. The Hair-Doode tries to make a sneaky elimination by standing at ringside, reaching up and giving Victoria’s leg a yank that would pull her right down to where he’s stood. Victoria isn’t about to let that happen, sliding around on her seat and then putting both boots to Froderick’s chest, kicking him down flat on his ass.
Inside of the ring Orlando is fuming over the elimination of his partner Watson, and he’s about to do something in retaliation. He is all over Ethan, pummeling him with punches across the gut and chops across the chest. A European Uppercut collides with Ethan’s chin and the blow sends the recipient flying into the cables. Although his bell is rung Ethan still manages to wrap himself around the top rope and keep from going over. Orlando is determined to break Ethan’s grasp on the ropes and eliminate him. He’s got both of Ethan’s ankles and is lifting them, causing Von Aaron to hang upside down over the apron.
Hunter: Ethan is on the verge of going, he’s about to be eliminated.
Frankie: Someone help Orlando get Ethan out of there already!
It looks like Cassius heard Frankie’s request, stepping in and joining Orlando in an effort to send Ethan packing. It seems inevitable that both men will send Ethan crashing to the floor, or at least they would if not for the interference of Hurse. Once again he comes to Ethan’s aid, pulling Cassius around into a punch that topples him to the canvas. He then goes after Orlando, twisting him into a boot to the ribs before snatching him by the back of his head. It appears that fates have been reversed because Orlando is now the one on the verge of being tossed out. He’s run across the ring and is about to be thrown over the ropes only to have him weasel his way out of a potential elimination by swinging around to Hurse’s side, taking him by the back of his skull and throwing him over the ropes. Just before Hurse can take the plunge all the way to the ground he manages to grab the top cable and hold it so tight it puts callouses in his palms….yes, that’s the only reason he’d have callouses.
An aggravated Orlando kicks and kicks at Hurse’s hands, trying to break his grasp on the ropes. Before Orlando can finally send his life-long nemesis packing, this attempt at eliminating Hurse is thwarted by Ethan. The favor has been returned, Ethan helping his old friend just like Hurse did earlier when he kept Von Aaron from being tossed. Ethan clotheslines Orlando to the back of the neck, dropping him to the canvas. After taking down his rival Ethan goes to help his friend up. He reaches over the cables and grabs Hurse by the arm, trying to drag him back into the squared circle. He’s got Hurse half way in but it’s all of Ethan’s body that goes out when Cassius DeLight runs in from behind him, grabs both of his legs and lifts. To the shock of everyone, Ethan in particular, he’s sent forward flipping to the outside of the ring.
Hunter: WAIT!!
Frankie: It’s done, it’s over Ethan is finito!
Hunter: Ethan trying to help Hurse and it caused him to drop his guard.
Frankie: It caused him more than that, it caused him to be eliminated!
10, 9, 8…
The countdown to the next entrant isn’t the only thing drawing to an end, so too is Ethan’s sanity. He sits there on his knees at ringside, eyes bulging straight up out of their sockets. He can’t believe he was just eliminated, that he was just sent packing from the Rumble. This won’t stand, someone has to be held accountable, and that someone has to pay. Back in the ring Cassius is dragging Orlando up from the canvas and the two are trading forearms with one another. Neither man has any idea that Hurse is springing up onto the top rope and flying off into a stereo dropkick. Cassius AND Orlando are knocked to the ground but one of them won’t stay down for long. It’s Orlando who is dragged up from the ground by Hurse and placed in position for the Lysol Injection. The pedigree is about to plant Orlando’s face into the canvas but instead it’s a chair that is planted right between Hurse’s eyes….a chair just swung by Ethan.
Hunter: HEEEEY!!
Frankie: What in the hell?
Hunter: Ethan just…..Ethan just….he just smashed his friend right in the head with a chair!
…..3, 2, 1….BUUUZZZZ!
The crowd cringes at the sight of True Sinistry member Benjamin Flynn making his way out from the backstage area.
Hunter: Benjamin Flynn making his Rumble debut here tonight much like so many talents….
Frankie: Yeah-yeah-yeah, Flynn coming out here, but Greyson, do you see what’s going on in the ring right now? Ethan just stabbed his bestie in the back.
Hunter: Actually he broke his face with a chair. And my name is NOT Greyson!
That blow from the chair has put a giant cut in Hurse’s scalp, his face awash with blood. The man responsible for this sinks his hands into his friend’s now red hair.
Ethan: It’s all your fault…..(growling)….You’re a WEAKNESS!
Hurse is in no condition to put a stop to it as he’s run across the ring and thrown over the top rope. He crashes straight down onto the floor where he now lies lifeless.
Hunter: Now Hurse has just been tossed over the ropes!
Frankie: Serves him right, he came back to the IWC to steal Ethan’s thunder and….
Hunter: Don’t hand us that BS.
A red hot Ethan exits the ring amidst a tidal wave of hate from the crowd. Eliminating Hurse from the Rumble wasn’t enough, he wants to eliminate him from life. He pulls Hurse up from the ground, takes him by the back of the head and runs him face first straight into the ring-post. Ethan steps around to the opposite side of the post grabs Hurse’s wrists and begins to yank him forward, repeatedly ramming his nose into the steel again and again and AGAIN.
Hunter: Enough Ethan….
Frankie: Enough? Hurse cost Ethan a shot at the World Title!
Hunter: What are you talking about? Hurse tried to help….
Frankie: Don’t slap my ass and tell me you were taking my temperature. We all know what Hurse was REALLY out here doing.
While this beatdown happens outside of the ring Benjamin Flynn unleashes one of his own inside of the squared circle. The sociopath goes straight after Victoria Salinas, joining Hair-Doode member Froderick in stomping at her as she leans against the turnbuckle. The pair only work together for a moment before Flynn grabs Froderick and pulls him around into a straight kick to his throat. Flynn then turns away from him and runs straight at Victoria, leaping into a big splash that nails her in the chest. Meanwhile at ringside Ethan has Hurse’s face, a bloodied mangled face, propped up against the corner post. Ethan steps around behind his friend….no…his victim, stomping a foot against the mats.
Hunter: Wait-wait-wait, Ethan, don’t do this…please don’t!
No matter how many people may plead with him their cries fall on deaf ears, Ethan follows through with his plan, hitting the Epic Fail. Hurse’s face is crunched between the turnbuckle post and Ethan’s boot.
Hunter: Oooooh God no! He killed him, he fucking killed him.
Frankie: Ethan just treated him worse than Captain Hadley punishing a whimpering prisoner.
Although Ethan is still shaking like a teapot left on the kettle way too long he walks away from what’s left of his friend. That friend’s blood drips through Ethan’s fingers as he backs up the ramp snarling and growling. The EMTs who helped out Andre earlier this time tend to Hurse’s multiple injuries.
Those EMTS are going to have their work cut out for them considering that a very dangerous and deadly man like Benjamin Flynn is now in the ring. He’s going straight after Cassius, stacking him up in the corner and pounding away at either side of his mid-section with punches. He then delivers a step up knee strike on his opponent’s jaw, rattling Cassius enough to set him up for a bulldog.
Cassius is pulled along out of the corner but it damn sure will not be into the bulldog. He pushes Flynn off and sends him staggering to the middle of the ring. This is where Flynn stops, spinning back to his foe and just in time to see Cassius lunging into the spear. His shoulder connects, just not with Flynn’s ribs. At the last second Flynn leaps into the air, Cassius flies past him and his spear cuts through the unsuspecting Froderick. The spear takes down the Hair-Doode, who upon impact with the canvas pops back up to his feet clasping at his almost fractured ribs. Froderick falls back against the ropes and now Cassius runs in striking him under the jaw with a boot. The blow sends Froderick flipping to the outside of the squared circle.
Hunter: There goes any chance of seeing the Hair-Doodes main event Invictus.
Frankie: Yes, because that’s what we were ALL hoping to see.
No sooner does Cassius eliminate Froderick before being forced to contend with Flynn yet again. Flynn comes charging in, takes Cassius by the hair and leads his opponent’s face along right into the turnbuckle. The collision with the corner has Cassius all disorientated as he turns his back to the very corner he was just smashed against. The turnbuckle won’t be the worst thing that smashes into Cassius’ skull though, because now Flynn’s boot is about to collide with it. He’s just about to hit a running yakuza kick in the corner before someone jumps in the way of his prey.
Once again Damion Sommers has invaded and interrupted the proceedings. He’s all over Cassius, punching and punching away at the skull of the man who cost him his career earlier tonight.
Hunter: Sommers? Again?
Frankie: They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. So this guy must be as crazy as they get.
Hunter: How many times is Cassius going to have to throw him out of here before security finally keeps this clown prick from interfering in the Rumble?
10, 9, 8….
This time it won’t be Cassius who sends Damion packing. Flynn doesn’t like to share his victims, so he drags Damion away from his chosen prey before throwing him over the top rope and with some force. Damion flips completely over on his way out and his face smashes against the mats. Now that Damion is out of this match, hopefully permanently, Flynn is free to go back after his original target. He runs straight at Cassius then jumps into the step up knee strike aimed at his face. That knee never hits that face, instead it collides with the corner. Cassius moves out of the way just in time, causing Flynn’s knee to miss his skull, hit the turnbuckle and then go falling right over it. Flynn hits the ringside mats amidst screams from the crowd.
Hunter: Flynn eliminated by…
Frankie: Himself. Glad to see I’m not the only one who enjoys some self-abuse.
Hunter: Which has thinned the herd down to three…for now.
Victoria, Orlando and Cassius are the three stragglers remaining inside of the squared circle, each of them already looking pretty depleted.
…5, 4, 3….
Two of those competitors are about to look even more depleted. Cassius is the first to get a belly full of steel. The chair that was used by Ethan Von Aaron to assault his ‘friend,’ has been found by Orlando Cruze, who instantly puts it to use on Cassius and then on Victoria. An unsuspecting Victoria doesn’t get a chair in the ribs but right over the upper back.
Hunter: Put that damn chair down Orlando!
Frankie: No rules in the Rumble.
….2, 1……BUUUZZZZ!
The countdown clock is done but Orlando doesn’t care who the next entrant in the Rumble is going to be. In fact, he looks almost casual in the face of danger. He puts the chair he just employed as a weapon to a different use. He parks himself in it and gets relaxed, looking oh so casual as he gestures to the back. But he doesn’t look casual anymore when the theme music of Miss Jon comes thumping through the PA system.
Hunter: Ooooh this isn’t good for anyone in that ring right now.
Frankie: Leonardo Dicaprio being mauled by a bear is going to be nothing compared to what we’re about to see. Run Orlando, RUN!
The beastly Miss Jon now starts down the ramp with her agent Martin Howe III orbiting in satellite around her. Although Howe looks at his client with pride, Orlando looks at her like she was death leading the four horseman of the apocalypse. He gets himself ready to do what no else has, DEFY DEATH. He picks up the chair he was sitting on and rears it back over his shoulder, swinging the steel at Miss Jon’s head the moment she’s stepped over the ropes to get in the ring. The chair hits…Miss Jon’s fist. She punches the steel with enough force to send it flying right out of Orlando’s hands.
Frankie: NO! There just went Orlando’s equalizer!
Hunter: Howe said that his client was going to be a peace keeper and we’re seeing her fill that role nicely.
Frankie: I ain’t buying it.
Orlando’s hands are killing him after that chair was just punched out of them. He is so consumed with the agony in his fingers that he absent mindedly turns around right into the hand waiting to goozle his throat. Miss Jon grabs him by the larynx and gives it a tug, pulling him into a gorilla press. The arena screams at the sight of Miss Jon showing tremendous strength in the process of slamming Orlando down to the ring with the military slam. With Orlando out of her way Miss Jon moves towards the steel chair that he employed as a weapon moments ago. Jon picks up that chair, staring into it with an enthralled gleam in her eyes.
Hunter: Miss Jon is dangerous and deadly enough, but now she’s got a chair.
Frankie: Someone get security in there to stop her.
Hunter: It’s like you said, Frankie, the chair is legal under Rumble rules.
Frankie: When did I say that? I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth.
Miss Jon trembles at the sight of the chair, it has her so mystified. Stubbornly her eyes pry themselves from the steel and towards a potential victim. Victoria Salinas is using the ropes to reach her feet and pawing at her back, which already took one blow from the chair. Will it take another?
Frankie: Yes, go after Victoria, forget about Monarchy, forget about Orlando.
Hunter: Looks like Miss Jon is going back to her old ways, going back to being the Destroyer of Beauty. Which is a shame, she’s made such strives to repair her image after she ‘accidentally’ struck Principle Owner Karen McBride a few weeks ago.
Frankie: McBride had it coming, and so does Victoria.
It would appear Miss Jon has honed in on one of the most beautiful of the beautiful, the vivacious Victoria. The chair held by the beast is swung….swung right over the ropes, being tossed out of the ring.
Frankie: What are you doing Jon?
Hunter: Surprisingly she’s doing the right thing.
Doing the right thing might turn into making the wrong decision. After throwing out the chair Miss Jon turns around towards Cassius and the spear he’s dashing across the ring to hit on her. He dives right into Miss Jon’s clutches. She catches him coming in by putting his head under her seat and then using his momentum to lift him up straight into her devastating sit-out powerbomb.
Hunter: Up Yours, Bobby Walker!
Frankie: Cassius not too DeLighted about that. Ooooh-hahahahahahaha.
Hunter: How long have you been waiting to say that?
Frankie: Literally all night long, Greyson.
Hunter: I AM NOT GREYSON LOVEJOY!
Miss Jon has dropped Cassius via the powerbomb and now her crosshairs are sighted on Victoria. But Victoria isn’t going down without a fight. She comes away from the ropes and she does so swinging, her legs connecting with either side of Miss Jon’s girth. The shots keep on coming and have Miss Jon stumbling, finally a spinning back heel kick doubles her completely over. Victoria has got Miss Jon in a precarious position setting her up for something even more precarious. Momentum is built after ricocheting from the ropes and diving right into a BRICK WALL. The bulk Miss Jon carries around is put right into Viccy’s airborne body and the collision sends her flying back with such force that she is almost goes out of the ring.
Frankie: Those huge flotation devices on Miss Jon’s chest just did some serious damage to her opponent. How big are those things, quadruple D?
Miss Jon isn’t through turning her body into a weapon. Her eyes are now set on Orlando leaning against the corner, a position he does not want to be in. Miss Jon’s enormous body comes crashing into him with the speed of a locomotive. Every inch of Orlando’s body is engulfed in Miss Jon’s ample mass, and now that smashed body gets a big old hip toss out of the corner. Orlando is launched so high into the air he can probably see his house. What goes up must come down and it happens with a nasty crash landing.
10, 9, 8, 7…..
The brute who is imposing her will all over everyone in the ring comes lumbering towards Victoria, nabbing her by the hair then leading her up into a headbutt. She does the same thing to Cassius, headbutting him from his feet to the ground. She starts to go after Orlando like a T-Rex pouncing on a chained goat, but he’s fleeing from the ring and doing so faster than he ever has before. Miss Jon isn’t happy about this, but there are plenty of other victims still at her disposal. However, there are two more morsels she didn’t anticipate having the chance to chomp down on. Cammie and Maddie Chase have just popped up at ringside, the pair jumping to the ring aprons at either side of Miss Jon, screaming to get her attention.
Frankie: It’s Team Chase, look Greyson, it’s Team Chase.
Hunter: I see them, and I’m not….
Frankie: Or maybe I should call them the Mega Hotness Strike-force, or the Erotic Express….
Hunter: If these two are tangling with Miss Jon then the only thing you can call them is VICTIM.
Frankie: These two are gonna make Miss Jon regret escorting them away from the ring during their sister’s title bout earlier tonight.
Miss Jon’s enormous hands reach out for Cammie’s throat, engulfing it in her palms. She starts to strangle the bitch right out of Cammie but doesn’t get the chance to choke the life from her. The very same steel chair she avoided earlier comes swinging into her back. Orlando has returned to the ring and is slamming the chair off of Miss Jon’s spine not once, not twice, but three times. Miss Jon starts to fall forward over the ropes but avoids taking a full tumble to the outside. She turns around and now exposes her face to a shot from the chair. Orlando hits her a second time with the steel right between the eyes.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZZ!
The countdown clock has just ended, and the only thing louder than the buzzer that proceeds it is the ovation for Marie Jones. From the back emerges the Ginger Nation’s proudest proponent, who continues to feed off the elation from the audience.
Hunter: Our red headed warrior Marie Jones made a HUGE splash one year ago at Last Stand, will she make a bigger one tonight by winning it?
Frankie: There are WAY too many Uprising talents in this match if you ask me.
The crowd continues to cheer Marie’s entrance but there are a few who boo what’s happening in the ring she’s headed towards. Orlando is still wearing out Miss Jon with the steel chair. Now he smacks it right along into the top of her skull. The force of the shot has Miss Jon leaning back over the ropes and right on the verge of elimination. Orlando steps back and puts all his might behind another swing of the chair only to have his weapon caught, caught right in Miss Jon’s hands. A boot then lands across his stomach, the force of the beast’s kick launching him back across the ring.
Hunter: It looked like Miss Jon was about to go over those ropes, but she stopped that from happening just like she stopped Orlando from hitting her in the head with that chair again.
Frankie: And now….oh shit…now Miss Jon has the chair in her hands!
That chair continues to mesmerize Miss Jon, holding it front of her face and almost drooling at the image of it. She’ll be drooling alright, mostly because she’s about to go braindead. A double dropkick is unleashed by both Victoria and Cassius at the same time, all four of their boots hitting the chair and driving it right back into Miss Jon’s face. The chair bounces off Miss Jon’s head and as a result she’s knocked back into the ropes, falling over them to the outside.
Hunter: OH WOW! Miss Jon is out! She’s-she’s-she’s been knocked over the cables.
Frankie: Thank you Cammie and Maddie for making this possible.
Hunter: They distracted her and it led to Orlando, Cassius and Victoria assembling the most unlikely team in history to send Miss Jon over those ropes.
Volcanos look less heated than Miss Jon. The moment she realizes she’s been knocked out of the ring she starts to steam. Although her agent Howe is every bit as angry as his client he’s got a better cork on his emotions. He tries to reason with Miss Jon, but all reason just went out the window when she sees Madison and Cameron Chase backing up the ramp. Maddie laughs while Cammie rubs at her throat and stares scornfully at the beast who is moving towards them.
Hunter: Miss Jon going after the Chase sisters yet again.
Frankie: Just let her try something with either Cammie or Maddie, they’ll make her regret it.
The Chase sisters vanish to the back with Miss Jon nipping at their heels. Although Howe is shouting into her ear as loud as he can there’s nothing he can say that is going to calm her down. The only thing that will give her any tranquility is the blood of the Chase family on her hands. Miss Jon and Howe have disappeared, allowing the crowd to focus on what just appeared in the ring. Marie Jones has grabbed hold of Cassius and is twisting him around into a diamond cutter. The ring rattles as does Cassius’ skull as he bounces up from the ring onto all fours. Victoria sees Marie from the corner of her eye and then delivers a dropkick straight to the collar of the ginger. The blow sends Marie staggering back into the side of a crawling Cassius, causing her to trip over him. Instead of falling Marie rolls, landing on her feet on the opposite side of Cassius and then using him as a launching pad. She steps off Cassius’ back and launches herself into a hurricarana, flipping Victoria across the ring.
Hunter: Marie looking red, pun-intended, hot in there right now.
Frankie: The only thing red on her is going to be the red in her cheeks when she’s tossed over those ropes.
Hunter: Don’t be so quick to make that assumption. She came so close, sooooo close to winning the Rumble last year, so she’s definitely shown she has what it takes to survive in a match as unpredictable as this.
At that point in time Marie is doing a lot more than merely surviving. Her fists are landing on either side of Orlando’s skull, batting the Phenomenal Cruze backwards across the ring. He’s barely able to hold himself up and he won’t be able to any longer when Marie sets up for the diamond cutter. Marie is just about to snap her opponent’s neck only to find this cutter countered. Much to her chagrin she’s pushed off the cutter and sent flying towards the corner thanks to Orlando. Just before she hits the turnbuckle Marie jumps into it, landing on the middle rope and then flipping back. She lands straight on Orlando’s shoulder with a moonsault that sends him crashing into the canvas.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6….
The Cartel-tron lights up with the countdown clock while Marie lights up her opponents. She’s dragged Orlando to his knees and is smacking him upside the brow with a barrage of punches. All the while she’s leading him towards the ropes, leaning him against the cables and trying to push him over to the outside. Somehow Orlando is holding on and Cassius is doing the same. On the opposite side of the ring Victoria has Cassius’ back leaning against the ropes, is bent under his legs and is lifting them, trying to flip his adversary over the cables. Neither Cassius nor Orlando are going over the ropes, DeLight holding tight to the ropes and Orlando digging his thumb right in Marie’s eye. A blinded Marie stumbles back across the ring pawing at her eyes while Orlando’s fist looks to pulverize her face. Like a blind Matt Murdock, a visually impaired Marie ducks the punch headed for her face then takes off into the ropes. She leaps through them to the apron and then grabs the top strand before leaping onto it. She then flies off right into Orlando, or more accurately right into the chair he just picked up and he just pitched into her face.
Hunter: The chair AGAIN being used by Orlando.
Frankie: Well if his opponents are so insistent on cheating then he might as well as stoop to their level.
..3, 2, 1…..BUZZZ!
A just plain exhausted Orlando uses the steel chair as a crutch at this point but is ready to swing it at a moment’s notice. He’ll definitely need to employ it as a weapon when the next entrant in the Rumble is announced. The tunes of “We Own It” are playing over the loud speakers, getting a MASSIVE reaction that sends chills down Orlando’s spine
Frankie: You’ve gotta be friggin kiddin’ me!
Hunter: Could it be? Could it be that Andre Jordan is going to try and come out here again?
Frankie: Hasn’t he been beaten down enough by Monarchy every time he’s tried to get in that ring?
Instinctively Orlando picks up the chair as he turns to the entry way, waiting to use the weapon should his rival Dre actually make it into the ring this time. He waits and waits and waits for Dre to stubbornly make his way out through the entry way, however there’s only one man who emerges from the back and it’s Orlando’s teammate rather than his foe. A confused Alistair Taylor is stood on the stage holding a kendo stick in his hands that he doesn’t get a chance to use for a second time.
Hunter: Well where is Dre?
Frankie: Guess the scarecrow found himself a brain.
Hunter: I hope he decided to stay in the back and convalesce rather than try to get in that ring again. As you can see Alistair Taylor was waiting to jump him AGAIN.
A snide grin slowly comes to Orlando’s face as he lowers the chair to his side, obviously thinking that there is going to be NO Andre coming down the ramp. Well he’s partially correct, because Dre doesn’t come down the ramp, instead he jumps out of the crowd. The fans are going berserk as Andre slides into the ring then barrels towards Orlando, who has the chair in his hands ready to swing. He never gets the opportunity because he’s tackled down to the ring and the chair he was holding falls right beside him.
Hunter: Andre is finally in there and he’s all over Orlando!
Frankie: How come nobody is putting a stop this!?!
Hunter: Andre has been waiting for this. He’s been waiting for this all night long. And he did the smart thing by coming from the crowd rather than from the back, preventing being jumped for a third time.
Dre’s fists go on lighting up Orlando’s face, cracking the bones beneath the cheeks that are being struck. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring Victoria and Cassius have formed an unlikely duo, the two pulling Marie up off the canvas and now attempting to eliminate her. Their arms are wrapped around either of her shins and they’re lifting but their potential victim is holding the ropes with the force of a bear trap clamping onto a leg.
Hunter: Marie fighting to keep from being eliminated and Orlando fighting for survival.
Andre just keeps punching Orlando’s face until his skull turns into mush. Finally Orlando manages to push Dre off and roll away. He doesn’t get very far before Dre is on top of him, delivering rapid fire forearms across the back of the kneeling Phenom. It seems Orlando’s only recourse is to roll entirely out of the ring, which is exactly what he does. He’s out of the squared circle but it isn’t any safer beyond the cables than it was inside of them. Andre catches up with Orlando at ringside, busting his face with a clinched fist. The shot sends Orlando staggering back into the steel steps and then falling over them to the floor.
Hunter: Andre just beating the hell out of Orlando.
Frankie: Monarchy have got to do something about this!
Hunter: Dre’s not gonna stop, not until he’s left Orlando in pieces.
The stairs that Orlando just went flipping over are now dissected so that the lower section can be exposed. Andre pulls Orlando up from the ground and now into position for the Tide Turner…a Tide Turner to be delivered onto the lower section of steel.
Hunter: He’s gonna drop Orlando with the Tide Turner into the steps!
Frankie: Noooo! Aren’t there laws to prevent this type of brutality?
Orlando is heaved into the air but he’s damn sure not going to be dropped into the stairs. Instead he slips right off Orlando’s shoulders, lands behind him and then hurries along towards the ring, rolling back inside. If he thinks that’s going to protect him then he’s wrong…..dead wrong. Dre follows Orlando inside, sliding in and going after his prey, who can now only crawl to safety. That safety takes the form of a lariat unleashed by Cassius, catching Andre totally off guard.
Frankie: Cassius with the lariat.
Hunter: Unintentionally saving Orlando in the process.
After laying Dre out with the lariat, he’s now going to throw Dre out over the top rope. He pulls Andre up from the canvas and leads him to the ropes, right on the verge of potentially throwing him over. Just as the two get within range of the cables Dre slips right out of Cassius’ hands, gets behind him and then delivers the Tide Turner!
10, 9, 8, 7…..
Orlando sees the Tide Turner delivered and now he has to think of a way to prevent himself from falling victim to it. As Andre closes in on him Orlando picks up the chair he’s used several times in this match and drives the edge of it right into Jordan’s throat. The blow sends Dre staggering back, clasping at his neck. Now he’s at Orlando’s mercy. The Phenom lifts the chair and comes charging in, running along straight into Andre’s Get Got. The spinning powerslam catches Orlando totally off guard and herniates so many disks in his back upon impact with the canvas. But if you think that’s going to be enough to keep Orlando down, then you…are….an….idiot.
Frankie: This is just going disastrously for Orlando ever since he was ambushed by Andre. Seriously, where does Dre get off ambushing an honorable man like this?
Hunter: An honorable man? Orlando had Andre jumped twice before he could even get into the Rumble.
Frankie: You don’t know that Orlando had ANYTHING to do with that. Stop spreading such libelous gossip or I’ll smack you in the penis.
….3, 2, 1…..BUZZZ!!
There it is again, the buzzer indicating that yet another star is embarking for the ring, and this entrant wastes little time getting to the ring. Jessica Wilde moves quicker than Speedy Gonzalez in order to reach the squared circle.
Hunter: Jessica Wilde….get ready to Rumble!
Frankie: Good, get in there and help Orlando.
Hunter: I uhhhh doubt that’s her intention.
Wilde’s intentions become pretty transparent when she slides into the ring and goes straight after Marie Jones. As if Marie didn’t have a difficult enough time contending with Victoria, now she’s got Wilde all up in her grill. She channels all her hostility behind the mad-dash she makes at Marie only to have that momentum turned against her. Marie reacts quick enough to catch Wilde with a boot to the gut, doubling her over and putting her head in position for a side headlock driver. Just as Marie is about to drive Wilde’s head through the ring, Jessica makes a surprising counter. She hits a drop toe hold on Marie, planting her face into the ring and then attempting to drive it into that ring with even more force. Wilde rushes into the cables at Marie’s side in order to build speed behind the Scarlet Letter. The curb stomp variant never connects on account of the top rope being low bridged. Cassius was lying on the apron and waiting for an opportunity just like this, pulling down the cables and causing Wilde to go flipping over them.
Hunter: Wilde ALMOST gone from the Rumble already!
Frankie: She’ll have to dig herself in like a friggin crab on Lindsey Lohan’s bush if she wants to survive in this one.
The ropes are held tight by Wilde, who starts to stand only to find her head trapped in her adversary’s clutches. Cassius once again catches her off guard, this time applying a front chancery and preparing to hit her with a DDT on the apron. Instead what’s hit on the apron is a low blow. Wilde drops to her knees and throws a forearm straight into Cassius’ groin, swelling the most important part of his anatomy. That’s not all that swells, because Wilde’s confidence is swelling as well, which is why she’s so boldly leaping to the top cable then flying off towards an unsuspecting Marie. Or at least Marie LOOKED unsuspecting. Actually she was like a trap lying in wait and that trap is sprung, Marie jumping and catching Wilde in mid-air with the diamond cutter.
Frankie: YOUCH! Wilde not off to a good start.
The cutter has laid Wilde out and now Marie is coaxing her up to her feet with the intent of throwing her lifeless body out of the ring. An exasperated Victoria is the only thing that blocks Marie from fulfilling her plan. She nails a punch across Jones’ brow, knocking her back towards the ropes, falling against them and now finding herself on the cusp of being thrown over them. Victoria bends down under her opponent’s knees, placing them over her shoulders and lifting. Although Marie is trying to fend off Victoria it’s no easy task, and Cassius isn’t helping at all. He steps across the apron behind Marie and grabs her under the jaw, pulling back on it, causing her to come even closer to taking a flip to the outside.
Hunter: Everyone working in consortium to toss Marie.
Frankie: Looks like she won’t be lasting till the final three this year.
Marie’s struggle becomes tougher and tougher the more that both of her opponents combine their energies into eliminating her. She’s not the only one in dire straits though, Orlando finds himself in bad way, verging on taking a tumble over the ropes as well. Andre has him leaning back against the turnbuckle and is lifting one of his legs, bound and determined to send Cruze flying over the corner and to the outside. Only Orlando isn’t going anywhere, and Maddie and Cammie Chase are here to make sure of that. Once again the two newest members of Monarchy, and the sisters of Orlando’s wife come running down the ramp and leaping to the ring aprons.
Frankie: Team Chase is here to save the day yet again.
Hunter: Why can’t Monarchy just stop interfering like this? They’re ruining this Rumble!
Frankie: Ruining it? Are you joking? They’re RULING it.
Cammie and Maddie continue to create a stink and as a result distract Dre. They keep him so preoccupied that it allows Orlando to slip in from behind, grab him around the thigh and lift, attempting to push him over the ropes and to the outside of the ring. It appears that Cammie and Maddie are pleased with themselves, but Karen McBride isn’t happy with what she’s seeing at all. The Principle Owner is making her way down the ramp and she’s voicing her displeasure as loud as she possibly can.
Frankie: Haven’t we seen enough McBride for one night?
Hunter: The Riot Principle Owner coming out here to do something about Cameron and Madison Chase. She’s not about to watch Monarchy make a mockery of this Rumble.
…10, 9, 8, 7….
The only thing louder than the crowd chanting along with the clock is Karen’s screams into the faces of the two ladies who just can’t stop interrupting this bout. Although neither Maddie nor Cameron look intimidated, giving just as good they get. They shout right back into Karen’s face, warning her what will happen if she doesn’t shut her mouth. But they stop threatening McBride when something far more threatening appears at the top of the ramp. Miss Jon is marching with her agent Martin Howe III walking right beside her.
Hunter: We’ve got another entrant about to come out here, but that entrant is NOT Miss Jon.
Frankie: Then what the hell is she doing out here then?
Hunter: Continuing to play Peace Keeper from the looks of it. Plus the Chase sisters contributed to her elimination earlier in the Rumble.
Karen is so preoccupied with the Chase sisters that she doesn’t even see Miss Jon coming until the beast gives her a light shove aside. Cammie and Maddie won’t be shoved, nor nudged, they don’t give Miss Jon a chance to put a hand on them. The pair back off from the big Miss Jon, all the while poking fun at her. Though they poke fun from a DISTANCE.
Hunter: Well if Karen McBride had any doubts about rather Miss Jon can be trusted I think she just proved that a leopard really can change its spots.
Frankie: It be more like an elephant changing its tusks.
….3, 2, 1…..BUZZZZ!
There’s quite the reception for Lilith Evans as she starts a slow descent down the ramp.
Hunter: It looks like Lilith Evans just made the boldest decision of her career….
Frankie: More like the worse decision of her career.
Hunter: She was all but told by her True Sinistry ruler Jessica Wilde not to compete in the Rumble this evening, but here she comes.
Actually Lilith stops at the middle of the ramp to give her choice one final thought. There’s someone else in her proximity who isn’t quite as indecisive. Miss Jon is still watching the Chases sisters scurry away while she backs up towards the ring. Just then, with a knee jerk reaction, she reaches under the ropes from ringside and grabs the ankles of Cassius DeLight and Victoria Salinas, pulling their legs out from under them. She drags both their bodies out of the ring and then drives their skulls together with a headbutt.
Hunter: What the hell!?!
Frankie: Miss Jon just snapped.
Victoria is thrown with such force at the barricade that she flips completely over in the process of crashing against the steel. Cassius takes a similar journey with just as nasty of a destination. Miss Jon has just sent him careening towards the stairs and then smashing against them.
Karen: What are you doing!?!
Principle Owner Karen McBride seems just as shocked by Miss Jon’s actions as everyone else in the arena. She watches with jaw agape as the beast simply ignores her and rolls into the squared circle. A referee tries to stop Miss Jon only to be swatted away like a gnat. That’s not the last person she’s about to crush like a bug. Miss Jon barrels towards a brawling Andre and Orlando and indiscriminately crushes them both with a big splash. She then drags Andre out of the corner and heaves him up into a spinebuster.
Frankie: The big bitch has finally lost it.
The wrath of Miss Jon continues to be delivered on everyone in her view. It appears Marie Jones isn’t going to be the next caught in this tidal wave of chaos. She swings her fists upside Miss Jon’s skull, delivering jab after jab on the big woman’s jaw. She then lunges into the air, catches her around the neck and goes for the Ava Marie. Just then Miss Jon stands up straight, lifts Marie to her shoulder then throws her almost the length of the ring before she ultimately comes down on her back.
Hunter: Marie almost sent flying to the other side of the hemisphere.
The monstrous Miss Jon sets her sights on Jessica Wilde, engulfing her throat with both hands and strangling the life from her body. That’s when Lilith Evans makes a very bold decision, leaping into the ring then onto Miss Jon’s back. She applies a sleeper hold with all her arm strength, trying her best to choke out this behemoth. Needless to say she is unsuccessful. Lilith is grabbed by the hair and it’s yanked with such force that she’s sent flipping over Miss Jon’s shoulder. Where she comes down is perhaps the worst part of it, crashing directly into Jessica Wilde. The two hit the canvas, landing at the tips of Miss Jon’s toes.
Hunter: Looks like Miss Jon has completely taken over the Rumble.
Frankie: Not like any of the participants can stop her. You saw what she just did to every single one of them.
Hunter: We’re seeing her true colors.
Frankie: Yeah, so much for all that Peace Keeper bullshit.
Although Karen McBride is outraged it’s not as if she’s very surprised. She’s had her suspicions about Miss Jon, and they were just confirmed. The Principle Owner shows her backbone by grabbing Miss Jon’s trunk thick arm and giving it a tug. The beast whips around with fire in her eyes and that fire might just burn McBride.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6….
Miss Jon and Karen McBride continue to have a stare down every bit as tense as the skin on a face-lift patient. It looks like things are about to get physical, very-very physical.
Frankie: Ooooh daddy, this is great, this is sooooo perfect. The two ladies I hate more than anything are about to get it on and hopefully they both go DOWN!
Hunter: McBride putting her foot down and flexing her authority.
Frankie: You think McBride can stand up to Miss Jon? FUCK NO. Nobody from THIS earth can fight Miss Jon.
McBride points to the outside of the ring, demanding Miss Jon leave but the beast isn’t going anywhere. She still stands there with her breaths snarled, smoke almost seeping from her nostrils. Her fingers are balled up into fists and stay at her sides, but they yearn to collide with Karen’s lips. This time her agent Martin Howe III refuses to intervene, standing at ringside and assuming the role of a man watching an execution.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZZZ!
There’s the call from the governor saving McBride. The arena lights starts to dim down and hives start to form on the flesh of every fan in attendance. Hairs rise, instantly turning white when the tracks of ‘Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer’ start to play over the loud speakers.
Hunter: Wait just a minute….
Frankie: Uhhhh, this-this-this can’t mean what I think it can, can it?
Hunter: That music, that music belongs to the inaugural winner of the Last Stand Rumble, a man we haven’t seen in almost two years! Could it be Legion?
In an act that defies the fundamentals of physics, an arm comes reaching up through the steel grating on the stage. A BLUE ARM. That arm connects to the broad shoulders that come peeking out through the set as well. Soon all gives rise to the face, the face of Kalinda!
Hunter: That’s not Legion…that’s-that’s Kalinda!
Frankie: The friggin dimensional jumping dragon?
Hunter: Yes, the creature of otherworldly origins makes her return to the IWC competing in the Rumble.
Frankie: This match does draw out all the weirdos and wackos.
The woman who weighs nearly half a ton employs every mannerism associated with Legion, save for one motion distinct to herself, the slashing of her tail from one side of her body to the other.
Frankie: What’s with this entrance? Is she like impersonating Legion?
Hunter: I don’t know if she’s so much impersonating as she is channeling the nightmare.
Focus has returned to the squared circle where the fierce Miss Jon is waiting. Her wide eyes burn a hole through Kalinda, who steps over the ropes and goes mono-a-mono with the equally as massive menace. Now McBride IS surprised, finding herself caught between Miss Jon and Kalinda, an immovable force and an unstoppable object.
Hunter: Never in a million years did I think we’d see this. Miss Jon squaring up with the only lady who could physically match up with her.
Frankie: I really hope that the ring is reinforced causes there’s gotta be over a thousand pounds in there right now.
McBride has employed some wisdom, getting out of the ring and watching as Kalinda and Miss Jon square off. Like the collision of two meteors the red eyed Kalinda makes impact with the brutal Miss Jon.
Hunter: Here we go! Their going at it! Their going at it!
Miss Jon swings her huge knuckles into the cheek of Kalinda, turning it from blue to red. However, Kalinda gives just as good as she receives. Her fists nail Jon under the jaw, and much to the beast’s dismay the blows have her reeling back on her heels. A growl comes from Jon at the same time that an uppercut is unleashed to her beak. Kalinda is staggered back by the shot before she responds with one of her own. However, it will NOT be a strike unleashed by her fist, it will be one provided by her tail. She swings around with her massive tail hurdling towards Miss Jon….hurdling towards but never connecting. Miss Jon drops down out of the way right as the tail comes flying over her and narrowly misses her head. Jon now ends up at ringside, looking wide eyed and angry that a tail almost cleaved her head from her shoulders. This all goes down to the delight of thousands, but to the disapproval of one. Martin Howe grabs his client at ringside. Obviously he’s the only one who DOESN’T want to see this altercation continue.
Howe: You’ve got nothing to prove here. Not against this….(detestably)…THING.
Miss Jon knows that Howe is right, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to crush Kalinda’s skull. Nevertheless she acquiesces to the requests of her agent, allowing him to pull her away from Kalinda and away from the ring. The crowd isn’t happy about this, Kalinda isn’t happy about this, and Miss Jon isn’t happy about this, but it’s happening nevertheless.
Hunter: We’ve seen our fair share of Rumble shockers, but this HAS to be the biggest.
Frankie: Literally.
Hunter: Miss Jon may have finally found someone who could pound for pound match up with her.
The snarling Miss Jon backs up the ramp never breaking eye contact with Kalinda. It would appear that this fixation is reciprocated, Kalinda glaring at her adversary much to her detriment. Orlando Cruze limps in form behind Kalinda and delivers a powerful forearm over her shoulders. The blow knocks Kalinda forward into the ropes and now Orlando starts to stomp at her mid-section, trying to soften her up in order to eliminate her.
In order to send the dragon packing it’s going to take more than stomps. That’s why Orlando is charging in with a lariat that would certainly send Kalinda flipping to the outside. But instead it’s Orlando who flips like a coin at the start of an NFL game when a tail smacks his feet right out from under him. Kalinda uses her fifth limb to knock Orlando heels over asshole, sending him flipping down and to the canvas. Where Orlando failed Wilde hopes to succeed. She’s climbed up onto the ring apron and is now springing to the top rope, flying right into her opponent, that is, her opponent’s waiting hand. Kalinda re-enacts one of the many moves synonymous with Legion, applying a straight chokehold on Wilde.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Hunter: When will Wilde learn to stop coming off those ropes?
Frankie: It’s worked out about as well as masturbating using superglue as lubricant. That was an awkward Saturday night.
Wilde flails her arms around frantically while the oxygen is cut off to her head. Amazingly she’s still capable of doing one thing even in this state of utter distress, and that something is gesturing for the help of her follower Lilith. Evans watches this scene unfold but has no idea what to do about it. That is until she looks down and realizes that there’s a steel chair laying at her feet. She picks it up but has yet to use it, looking between the weapon and Kalinda’s back. Her eyes going from one to the other.
Frankie: Use the chair already!
…4, 3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!
A growling noise is heard from the stage, and these growls leads to groans. The arena does not react kindly to the sight of Executioner hustling down the ramp.
Hunter: Here comes yet another mass of humanity running down that ramp. That’s Executioner, Jessica Wilde’s most loyal subject.
Frankie: Definitely gives the True Sinistry a bit of a number’s advantage.
Said number’s advantage might not matter for much when contending with Kalinda, a dragon capable of fending off entire villages of attackers. Executioner grabs Kalinda by the hair and pulls it until she’s forced to release Wilde’s blood-red throat. Now it’s Kalinda’s throat that is going to turn a different shade when Executioner’s hand slaps down around it. He tries to give her the chokeslam but Kalinda won’t let it happen, both her weight and her resiliency keep her from suffering this devastating slam.
There is action going on all around this struggle between Executioner and Kalinda, with Cassius DeLight pushing Andre Jordan over the ropes, trying his best to eliminate him, and Victoria Salinas and Marie Jones now teaming up in an effort to toss Orlando Cruze from the squared circle. Focus continues to go back to Kalinda as the dragon nails a back elbow across Executioner’s cheek, several of them actually until his grip on her throat is broken. Kalinda could annihilate the masked man at this point but suddenly finds a steel chair slamming across her back. The weapon wasn’t employed by Lilith, it was just used by the woman who snatched it from Lilitha’s hands, it was put to use by Wilde.
This strike to her spine has Kalinda crouching forward and falling against the ropes, and one more shot from the steel could potentially send her over. Though the True Sinistry has an advantage, they don’t capitalize on it, all because of some petty in fighting. Instead of swinging the chair at Kalinda, Wilde is jabbing it into the ribs of her subordinate Lilith.
Wilde: You’re useless!
Wilde thinks Lilith is just as useless as the efforts of Andre to remain in the Rumble. He’s still fighting to stay in the ring but it might just be in vain. Cassius is exerting all the strength he has in himself to send Dre packing from the Rumble, already having him hanging upside down over the ropes. Dre holds fast though, keeping in this bout in spite of everything his body has endured. Cassius realizes he’s got another option, taking off into the far ropes, ricocheting from them and then building momentum into a spear. He flies right through the ropes, hurdling himself towards an upside down Dre though that’s not what he connects with. Andre moves out of the way and Cassius flies under him before ultimately plummeting face first into the floor mats.
Frankie: Cassius is gone, he’s eliminated, he’s….
Hunter: No-no-no, he went THROUGH the ropes, not over them Frankie.
Frankie: If you enjoy your attachment to your scrotum, you won’t correct me again.
10, 9, 8, 7….
While Cassius is collecting himself outside of the ring the True Sinistry is falling apart inside of it. Executioner is preoccupied pummeling Kalinda with strikes, but behind his back his leader Wilde is preoccupied verbally punishing Lilith.
Wilde: You weren’t even supposed to be out here! I revoked your right to compete in this Rumble, but you defy me. You defy me every chance you get! I’ve almost reached the end of my patience with you. Now LEAVE!
Wilde points to the back, insisting that’s where Lilith must go. The downtrodden Lilith lowers her head and her pride, she knows she’s got no other alternative but to do as she’s told. With reluctance she approaches the ropes, stopping as she slips between them to look back and confirm that this is really what Wilde wants. There’s no doubting it, Wilde keeps on pointing towards the backstage area and Lilith begrudgingly heads that way.
…3, 2, 1…BUZZZZZ!!
The buzzer stops sounding but we don’t see someone making their way down the ramp, we see someone moving up it. Lilith is walking to the back, or at least she was until the music of Danny Darko streams through the loud speakers and he comes waltzing on out from the back.
Hunter: And there’s one of the most unpredictable entrants in tonight’s Rumble. Danny Darko, you never know what this guy is thinking, or what he’s plotting.
Frankie: Because his brain is so diseased and warped. It would have to be if he were such a proud proponent of the UWA roster.
Hunter: He could potentially be the next challenger for the UWA World Title, which would be the ultimate reward for said loyalty.
Right now it’s loyalty being tested. Darko stops about half way down the ramp and seizes hold of both of Lilith’s shoulders. Instead of letting her leave he turns her back around to face the ring, pointing at it.
Darko: No-no-no, you’re not going anywhere!
Darko leads Lilith by the shoulders towards the ring,
Hunter: Darko has taken a vested interest in Lilith Evans, and now he’s actually dragging her back to the ring.
Frankie: Why can’t he stay out of other people’s business? The last time he stuck his nose where it didn’t belong, Trinity Street nearly cut it off.
There’s only one person that Darko has any business with at the moment and it’s Jessica Wilde. He leaves Lilith at ringside in order to leap to the apron and shout at another woman currently in the ring. Wilde isn’t listening to anything Darko has to tell her, instead she just wants to listen to the fist of her subordinate Executioner as it bursts the capillaries in Danny’s face. The seven footer silences Darko by reaching over the ropes and latching a hand around his throat.
Frankie: Darko’s gonna set a new record for being eliminated from the Rumble.
Hunter: Yeah, cause he’s not even going to be able to get in there.
Darko leaves his feet, but it’s not because he’s going to be hit with any chokeslam. Instead his foot goes flying over the top rope into a kick that smacks Executioner right in the kisser. The blow to the lips hits with such force that it sends Executioner whirling around into a powerful thrust kick unleashed by Kalinda. The blow not only collapses Executioner’s jaw but sends him flying back over the ropes.
Hunter: Kalinda almost kicking Executioner’s head off his shoulders….
Frankie: And she DID kick him over the ropes. Bye-bye Executioner.
At ringside we can see Lilith cringing as she sees one of her ‘teammates’ falling to her feet. She’s given even further cause for dread when seeing Darko and Wilde going straight at one another’s throats. The two are no longer exchanging words, their exchanging fists, the two brawling back and forth.
There are quite a few other fights presently ongoing as well. Marie Jones and Victoria Salinas have stopped working in consortium to eliminate Orlando, and have started teeing off on one another. Victoria grabs Marie by the bangs, pulling her into a headbutt. That grip on Marie’s hair is employed to drag her into a front facelock. Victoria lifts Marie into the vertical suplex in order to throw her over the ropes. Sadly for Victoria, her plans to eliminate Marie via suplex don’t turn out as she had planned. Marie slips her head out of her opponent’s clutches and then goes floating over the ropes, landing on the ring apron, not going anywhere near the floor….hopefully not for a long time.
Victoria swings around into a punch aimed at her opponent’s face only to have Marie drop down into a baseball slide from the apron right through Victoria’s legs. Just then Orlando comes in running, right past the laid out Marie and towards the turned back of Victoria, grabbing her by the waist band and using it to throw her over the ropes. Right before she takes a tumble to the mats Victoria manages to grab the top rope, float over and land on the ring apron.
Victoria narrowly avoids elimination, for the time being. Orlando will make sure she doesn’t survive much longer, he runs in and right at Victoria, going for a shoulder to her ribs. Victoria is much craftier than Orlando gave her credit for, she jumps into the air and goes rolling not only over the ropes but over the stooped back of her attacker. Although Victoria avoided elimination she did not avoid a superkick. Marie was waiting on her and hits the kick with such force that it sends Victoria stumbling back towards the waiting arms of the Phenom. It annoys Marie that Victoria is still upright, so now she tries to do something about it. She unleashes ANOTHER superkick, but this time Victoria ducks and the kick nails the temple of the man stood directly behind her. Orlando is sent flipping sideways over the ropes….
Frankie: NO! Oh thank God!
By sheer luck Orlando comes down to the ring apron and avoids a pratfall to the floor.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6…..
The countdown clock is going while in the ring while Andre and Cassius abandon the quarrel that had been waging between them in order to set their sights on Kalinda. The pair try to eliminate her but Kalinda avoids such calamity. She catches Dre coming in with a punch straight to the jaw and then grabs an inbound Cassius, throwing him over the cables. Fortunately for Cassius he possesses the reflexes to grab the top rope as he goes over and then shows flexibility by skinning the cat back into the ring. His legs enter the squared circle first and they end up on top of Kalinda’s shoulders. The dragon drags him back into the ring via the Alabama Slam.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZZZ!
There’s the alarm and here comes an athlete that has the crowd’s pulse pounding. Johnny Kingdom moves to the stage amidst the lyrics of his theme song ‘Wake Up’ wailing through the speakers.
Hunter: There he is a FORMER World Champion, a legend in this industry, Johnny Kingdom.
Frankie: If he gets in that ring he’ll wish he had stayed just a legend.
Hunter: This is the first time in two years that Kingdom has competed in the Rumble, will he get another shot to prove his immortality here tonight?
Frankie: Yeah-yeah-yeah, it be a big feather in his cap if Kingdom comes back, wins this Rumble then goes on to main event Invictus.
Hunter: With the title up for grabs.
The Team Leader moseys on down the ramp listening to the squeals of the crowd, which have gotten damn near deafening at this point. He lives it up on the way into the ring where Marie is waiting for him. She comes charging in only to go flipping inside out when she’s hit with the roaring clothesline. The blow to the throat has Marie corkscrewing through the air. Kingdom no sooner dishes out that pain before serving another feast of fury to an inbound Andre. The Team Leader catches him with the tilt a whirl straight into a back breaker. Of course Kingdom isn’t through yet, he can’t afford to be. Orlando catches Kingdom from behind and looks to unleash the German suplex. However, Kingdom reverses by swinging around to Orlando’s side, grabbing his arm and forcing him to the canvas, applying the Lesson in Leadership.
Hunter: Kingdom is lighting up everyone in that ring.
Frankie: Let Orlando go….There’s no sense in this…LET HIM GO!
Hunter: Are you doing a Frozen musical?
Frankie: The fact that you can recognize Frozen musicals makes me question the presence of your testicles.
Orlando is roaring in pain while Kingdom is roaring with intensity. A few feet away from him the crowd watches as Kalinda channels her muscle behind throwing Cassius out of the squared circle. She has him dangling over the ropes but can’t get him down to the floor. This life or death struggle between Cassius and Kalinda isn’t the only focal point, because Wilde and Darko go on duking it out. All the while Lilith is watching the two most influential figures in her career battle tooth and nail. Wilde brings an end to this fight when she drives her knee against Darko’s abs, doubling him over. She then steps back to get a running start behind a punch only to have Darko leave his feet and go for the Darkolator. The corkscrew kick never gets a chance to be delivered because Wilde leaps back out of the way in the nick of time. Unfortunately she trades one precarious predicament for another. She falls back against the ropes and puts herself in position for Darko to come running in and hitting her with a lariat across the larynx. Wilde goes over the ropes only to grab them at the last second, keeping her feet from hitting the floor.
Hunter: A couple of close calls here. Wilde almost out and Cassius fighting to keep from being eliminated as well.
It appears that Darko is about to send Wilde packing rather she holds onto the ropes or not. He starts to kick at her through the ropes, wedging his boot to her throat and pushing. In spite of being choked Wilde manages to squeak out a few screams.
Wilde: LILITH! LILITH!!
Although Lilith had remained an impartial observer she can no longer play both sides of the fence. She finally slides back into the ring and begrudgingly grabs Darko by the back of the head. She then drags him away from Wilde and much to her distress tosses him over the cables. Somehow Darko grabs the strands and keeps his Rumble ambitions alive.
Frankie: Lilith just stabbed Darko in the back.
Hunter: She had no choice in the matter, Wilde controls her.
A smile is stretched across Wilde’s face as she steps to Lilith’s side, patting her on the shoulder.
Wilde: Good….very good.
Wilde continues to give her follower a proverbial pat on the back before slipping her hand across Lilith’s neck. There are no reflexes fast enough to stop what happens to Lilith as Wilde catches her off guard by charging her at the ropes and throwing her over. Lilith crashes all the way to the floor, eliminated from the Rumble.
Hunter: OH COME ON!
Frankie: Wilde punishing Lilith’s insolent ass.
Hunter: Lilith saved her and what did she get in return? Wilde threw her out of the Rumble.
Frankie: She should have come to Wilde’s aid a lot sooner.
A stunned Lilith sits up at ringside, glaring into the ring where Wilde is shaking her head and mouthing off.
10, 9, 8, 7…..
With the countdown clock reappearing on the Cartel-tron it looks like the next entrant it’s cycling down to will be heading into a ring controlled by Johnny Kingdom. The Team Leader has broken away from Orlando in order to run the length of the squared circle and hit a step up knee strike to the jaw of Andre Jordan, who was leaning against the corner. Kingdom turns back to another figure stood in the diagonal corner, Kingdom runs straight at Victoria and then jumps into another step up knee strike. Surprisingly Victoria avoids the knee to her face, dropping down out of the way. Kingdom ends up kneeling on the top rope as Victoria leaps into a dropkick that nails him straight in the lower back. The impact sends Kingdom flipping over the cables but coming down on the steel steps at ringside rather than the floor.
Hunter: That was as close as close could possibly get.
Frankie: Ahhh dammit, Kingdom was THAT close from elimination.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZ!
The crowd lets out a piercing roar at the visual of Aaron Harrison moving down the ramp. The tough as nails veteran embarks for the squared circle where there are a bountiful supply of bodies for him to victimize. Harrison sets his sights on just one victim at the moment, and it’s Wilde. He spins her away from the ropes she was staring over, admiring the elimination of Lilith, and forcing her to look right at the canvas that she’s being DDTed into.
Hunter: One of the most dangerous men in professional wrestling has just entered the Rumble, and it meant bad things for Jessica Wilde right out of the gates.
Frankie: It’ll mean bad things for my digestive track too, my stomach turns every time I see Harrison anywhere near a ring.
Hunter: Well he’s in there and in my opinion, he stands a strong chance of winning the….
Frankie: Don’t even go there. This guy isn’t winning the Rumble, and he’s not going to Invictus. And you want to know why? Cause Kat Kelly and the rest of Monarchy are going to make him pay for trying to steal the Kat Kelly Championship, and they’re going to make him pay with his career.
Harrison might just have a career defining moment when he runs the length of the ring and nails Kalinda in the back of her head with a lariat. The blow knocks her into the ropes, though she doesn’t go over them and instead turns her back to the cables. Another lariat is nailed across her throat by Harrison, yet it still isn’t enough to take her to the outside. So Harrison gets yet ANOTHER running start into yet ANOTHER lariat. Somehow Kalinda continues to hang tough, refusing to take the fall to the floor.
Remaining in the ring is going to get a lot tougher when Marie joins in on this assault. She runs past Harrison and runs right into a dropkick that nails Kalinda on the jaw. Now Kalinda is leaning even further back, her spine arched over the strands. Just as Marie rolls out of the way Victoria comes dashing past her and leaping into a heel kick that collides with Kalinda’s cheek.
Hunter: This is the smartest strategy everyone in that ring can employ. Team up and take out Kalinda.
There’s only one person presently in the Rumble who cannot join in on trying to eliminate Kalinda and that’s Johnny Kingdom. When he was sent falling to the outside of the ring his knee smacked against the steel steps and folded up under him the wrong way. He now sits in the corner huffing and puffing through the pain that runs through his leg. In fact he’s rolling out under the ropes and hobbling gingerly on his leg while the ringside doc steps in to check on him.
Hunter: Well this isn’t good news for Kingdom, it looks like he might have injured his knee when it came down on the steps.
Frankie: Then he won’t get the chance to join everyone else in turning Kalinda into a piñata.
Right now it’s Cassius who is getting in his swings on Kalinda. He comes running straight into a big boot that smacks the dragon across the jaw. The moment Cassius clears out of the way Darko comes flipping past him and then delivers the Darkolater on Kalinda. Finally she’s starting to fall back over the cables and it looks like her night is done. Now it’s Jessica Wilde’s turn. She shakes off the DDT she suffered a moment ago and starts to build some speed behind a lariat on Kalinda…..Only to stop in mid run, turn and instead clothesline Marie Jones down to the canvas.
Frankie: Hahahahaha, I love it! I love it! Wilde refusing to be a team player.
Wilde no sooner knocks Marie to the ground before Cassius runs in from behind and hits her with a double axehandle to the back of her skull. Wilde is sent flying into the ropes and through them, twisting to the ring apron. With Wilde taken down the rest of the roster in the Rumble can go back after Kalinda. So Cassius, Darko, Victoria and Harrison come running towards Kalinda, gather around her and try to force her over the ropes. But just then, with a display of her inhuman strength, Kalinda shirks everyone away, sending them flying to all corners of the ring.
Hunter: They’re not able to get Kalinda out even after everything they just hit her with.
An exhausted Cassius and an equally as banged up Victoria are getting back to their feet only to find themselves on the receiving end of a stereo lariat. Kalinda runs across the ring and knocks them both flat on their backs.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5…..
Darko runs in and leaps at Kalinda’s back, hitting her with a dropkick between the shoulder blades. The blow sends her staggering forward into the ropes, ricocheting off then twisting herself around into a tail whip. Her tail crushes Darko straight in the ribs and drives him down flat on his back.
Hunter: Kalinda is downright dominate in that ring right now.
Franke: She’s a 500 pound dragon, who the hell besides Peter MacNicol can contend with her?
Hunter: Really? A Dragonslayer reference? That’s going WAAAY back.
Kalinda keeps her head on a swivel, turning just as Wilde returns to the ring and jumps straight into her arms. Kalinda catches her then flips back into a moonsault fallaway slam.
Hunter: Another homage to Legion.
Frankie: This isn’t an homage, it’s almost like Legion is inside of Kalinda. And the thought of that suddenly has me feeling warm under the collar.
Hunter: Please stop taking your shirt off, Frankie.
Kalinda stands tall and mighty over just about everyone scattered around the ring, resembling a truly imposing…no…unconquerable force.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUZZZZ!
It now falls on just one…one athlete to stand up against Kalinda, and whoever comes out from the back had better hope they have the mite to battle a beast as unstoppable as the world traveler. Unfortunately for Kalinda she might have finally met her match. The tunes of ‘Money, Money, Money’ are playing over the loud speakers as Donald Trump himself comes waddling out from the back.
Hunter: Uuuuuuh….
Frankie:….Huh.
The front man for the Republican Party navigates his way towards the ring while handing off a number of brochures to the front row fans. Each brochure highlights a number of his campaign promises that are every bit as full of deception as the hair on top of his head. He then high fives a couple of the very confused onlookers before finally walking away from his fans and towards the ring. Following behind him and walking single file down either side of the ramp are two battalions of secret servicemen.
Hunter: I have officially seen it all.
Frankie: Donald Trump looking to have the same success here in the Rumble that he’s had in his campaign for the presidency.
Hunter: God help us all if he wins either.
It’s unclear rather Kalinda is a fan or foe of Trump, who has taken the very bold risk of entering the ring with her. As if standing vie a vie with Kalinda wasn’t courageous, or ignorant enough, Trump now approaches her with a campaign button in his hand. He is just about to pin that button Kalinda’s chest but his hands fall far short of her sternum. Kalinda reaches out, grabs Trump by the throat with both hands, deadlifts him from his feet and then throws him right over the cables and right into the secret serviceman gathered at the base of the ramp.
Frankie: Thanks Kalinda.
Hunter: Trump is eliminated!
Frankie: This won’t make Marie Jones happy, she had a chance to stand in the ring with the GOD OF THE GINGERS.
Hunter: Kalinda just made sure that wasn’t going to happen.
Kalinda watches as Trump and his secret service gather themselves at ringside. Behind her huge back we can see Aaron Harrison getting back to his feet, leaning on the ropes for support. His proximity to the cables comes back to haunt him. A set of hands reach under the ropes, grab Harrison by the ankle and gives him a tug, dragging him from the squared circle. Before Harrison has a chance to react, his face is being smashed with the Kat Kelly championship.
Frankie: I knew there was a reason my Frankie senses were tingling.
Hunter: Kat Kelly…Kat Kelly is attacking Harrison! Where did she just emerge from? I didn’t see her enter the Rumble.
Frankie: Does it matter? This is all retribution for Harrison’s attack on Kat earlier tonight.
Hunter: Harrison was trying to take back the NHB Championship that Kat has rechristened and used to disgrace the former Champion, Rach…*BEEP*…Really? We’re still bleeping out her name?
Frankie: Why shouldn’t we? Her name deserves to be bleeped out just as much as Harrison deserves another crack upside the skull with that title.
Harrison has been dropped thanks to the blow from the Kat Kelly title he just received straight to his brow. He won’t be the last one to get a shot from the gold. Kat rolls into the ring under the ropes and runs right across it, driving the plate of her belt into the back of Kalinda’s head. Finally the dragon has been driven down, falling to her elbows and knees. Kat remains stood tall above her and over the many others in the ring while lifting her title over-head.
Kat: CLASS! GRACE! SOPHISTICATION!
Kat turns around and runs straight at Andre Jordan, smashing him the cheek with her title belt.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Kat: POISE! PERFECTION! ELEGANCE!
From the corner of her eye Kat spots a worn out Cassius getting back to his feet and she takes him right back down with a shot between the eyes with the belt.
Kat: BEAUTY! BRAINS!
Speaking of brains, Darko’s are knocked out when the Kat Kelly Championship rams against his skull. After laying out another victim Kat returns to the middle of the ring with the belt she has employed repeatedly as a weapon raised over her head.
Kat: That’s what this title represents NOW. The NHB Championship is dead, and relics like this pustule (gestures to Aaron Harrison crawling into the ring), will never resurrect it!
..4, 3….
Kat crouches at the knees like a….well…cat….ready to pounce at a mouse. She toys with that mouse by shouting straight at Harrison.
Kat: She’s gone! She’s just like Han Solo, she’s never coming back.
The belt in her hand is swinging towards Harrison’s skull.
…2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!
That belt along with so many hearts stop when the lyrics of ‘Blue’ start to play over the loud speakers, meaning only one thing.
Hunter: IT-IT-IT CAN’T BE!
Frankie: No….don’t tell me…don’t tell me SHE’S back.
Hunter: There’s no way this is happening. Rac….*BEEP*…hasn’t been seen in months. Is she-is she-is she really back.
It certainly looks like Kat believes that’s the case, hence the sweat rolling down her cheeks and the size of her eyes as they veer towards the entry way. The crowd is watching excitedly, their adrenaline surging at the prospect of seeing Rachel Tatum Lee return to the IWC and avenge the systematic destruction of her legacy at Kat Kelly’s hand. Finally a figure emerges from the back, and much to the crowd’s delight….no…their DISGUST…that figure is a laughing Alistair Taylor.
Hunter: Waaaaaiit a minute….
Cameras cut back to Kat who is doubled over in a fit of laughter.
Frankie: HAHAHA, they got you, Greyson, they totally fooled you and all the other idiots in the arena.
Hunter: First off, they got YOU too, and secondly, my name is NOT Greyson.
Frankie: Shut up Greyson, this is amaze-balls. Monarchy swerved the hell out of us.
Hunter: I guess it’s not Rac…*BEEP*….coming to the ring to compete in the Rumble, its Alistair Taylor.
Tears of laughter are wiped away from Alistair’s cheeks as he descends to the squared circle where his partner Kat is equally amused. She rolls out to greet Alistair at the base of the ramp, rubbing the incorrigible scamp on the back of his neck and then pointing at Harrison in the middle of the ring.
Kat: You know what to do big boy.
The second that Alistair gets in the ring his hands are locking around Harrison’s skull, a head that has already been bashed with a title belt. Although Harrison can barely get his legs straightened under him he’s forced to his feet, knees wobbling like trees hit by hurricane force winds. Alistair points at the ropes as if calling what hole he’s going to sink a billiard ball into. Harrison is that billiard ball and he’s about to be SUNK. Alistair charges him with ease at the ropes, but he doesn’t have as simple a time sending him flying over those cables. Right before he goes over Harrison reveals that he was a possum no longer intent on playing dead. He surprises Alistair by taking him by the back of the head and throwing HIM over to the outside.
Frankie: AAAAAHHHH!!
Hunter: Oh WOW!
The moment that Alistair’s ass hits the ground his rage hits the roof. He sits there on the outside mats with eyes bulging from their sockets and his jaw hung all the way down to his knees. He can’t believe he was just eliminated, his hands ripping at his hair once he turns back to the ring and sees Harrison peering at him through the ropes.
Frankie: That didn’t just happen.
Hunter: Alistair thought he had Harrison dead to rights, but it looks like Aaron was a bit more resilient than Alistair gave him credit for.
There are many stories unfolding as this Rumble bout continues, and one of paramount interest is the apparent injury suffered to Johnny Kingdom’s leg. He is still seated on the ring apron pawing at his knee with the ringside doctor examining it as well. Behind Kingdom there are a number of bodies fending off elimination from the Rumble. Marie Jones finds herself wrapped around the top rope, clinging to it with her arms and her legs while Jessica Wilde blasts her repeatedly over the back with forearms. Try as she may Wilde just can’t break Marie’s grasp on the cables. Meanwhile Cassius DeLight finds himself on the receiving end of a few shoulder blocks to his ribs driving his back into the corner where he’s stood. The two men who have been in the Rumble the longest are fighting it out as Orlando Cruze rams his shoulder repeatedly into Cassius’ ribcage.
Someone in a far worse predicament than Cassius happens to be the man being gorilla pressed above the head of Kalinda. The dragon carries her latest conquest towards the ropes, right on the verge of throwing Danny Darko out of the Rumble. But just then Andre Jordan comes staggering in behind Kalinda and hits a dropkick on the back of her ankle. The blow causes her to buckle at the knees and allows Darko to slip from her hands, landing right in front of her. With Kalinda kneeling on the canvas she’s in perfect position for Darko to deliver the Darkolator. The corkscrew kick smacks Kalinda right between the eyes and the blow does what no other strike has been capable of thus far, it knocks the monster to her back.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6….
Hunter: Kalinda FINALLY taken down.
Frankie: Right as we’re about to have another competitor enter the Rumble.
Kalinda is in a position that her opponents HAVE to take advantage of. Harrison, Darko and Andre are all three stomping away at her. They finally force her up to her knees and then use their combined strength to drag her towards the ropes, intent on throwing her over to the outside. Kalinda not only holds onto the ropes with her arms, but with her tail as well, refusing to be tossed to the outside even by the unified strength of THREE opponents.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUUZZZZ!
There’s a buzz louder from the crowd than the one that just came through the loud speakers. Everyone is exhilarated at the sounds of ‘Twilight of the Thunder Gods’ playing over the PA system, which means one thing, that Olaf Erlandsson is headed for the squared circle.
Hunter: Ooooooh my, it’s the Battle Hound, CNG’s own Olaf Erlandsson is the next entrant in the 2016 Last Stand Rumble.
Frankie: Who’s this guy? Did he show up to deliver my pizza?
Hunter: I just told you who he is you flipping idiot. He’s one of CNG’s biggest and brightest prospects. He won a battle royal in order to earn a spot in tonight’s match.
Frankie: Man, can you imagine what would happen if a ROOKIE like Olaf wins the Rumble in his very first IWC appearance? But first he better make sure there’s extra cheese on my pizza.
Olaf isn’t here to deliver pizza, he’s here to deliver some pain. He no sooner gets in the ring before he’s forced to avoid the leg lariat that Wilde tries to strike him with. Erlandsson ducks under the kick though and then unleashes one of his own…the THUNDERSTRUCK. The carbon foot print smashes Wilde right in the bridge of her nose and sends her flinging back across the ring. Andre twists away from the woman he and two others were teaming up on in order to try and get the drop on Olaf. He comes dashing towards Olaf but discovers that he’s not so easily ambushed. The Battle Hound almost rips Andre’s head off with the War Cry Clothesline.
Hunter: This young man impressive in there thus far. Which shouldn’t be that surprising considering the wars we’ve seen him wage against Mogui down in CNG.
Frankie: Are you speaking English, because I don’t understand any of the words coming out of your mouth.
Hunter: If you followed other wrestling companies, including our farm league CNG you’d know what I was talking about.
Frankie: Fat chance of that happening. I don’t even follow my own company.
Andre may have walked away from Kalinda in a futile attempt to get the drop on Olaf, but Victoria Salinas picks up where he left off on the dragon. She runs across the ring and joins Harrison and Darko in stomping away at the dragon. Meanwhile Orlando is busy chopping at a man who has put on a mythic performance in this Rumble. His blows land straight across the chest of an exhausted Cassius, who has spent more than his fair share of time in this Rumble, much like the individual presently assaulting him. The only thing that brings an end to this battle between these ironmen is an assault from the freshest individual in this Rumble. Olaf grabs Orlando out of the corner, twists the Phenom around and drops him via five knuckles straight across the kisser.
Cassius sees the power that Olaf has unleashed and now tries to do something to stop him. He climbs up onto the middle rope and then leaps off, right into the Mjolnir’s Might! The superman punch cracks an airborne Cassius right between the eyes and swats him out of the air like a fly.
Hunter: Olaf just continuing to impose his will all over everyone in this Rumble.
Frankie: Yep, he’s been pretty impressive, I’ll give him that.
Olaf tries to remain impressive and look strong, presently setting his sights on Marie Jones and looking to break her skull with his boot. Here comes the Thunderstruck, unleashing his version of the carbon foot print. His boot cracks…the AIR…Marie moving out of the way in the nick of time. As a result Olaf ends up catching his crotch across the top rope. This precarious position creates even further danger for Olaf when Marie springs off the perpendicular cables then twists into a dropkick. She nails Oalf in the shoulder and the blow sends him falling to the side, right over the ropes and right onto the ring apron. Amazingly Olaf has the presence of mind to grab the ropes before he takes the full plunge all the way to the floor.
10, 9, 8, 7…..
It remains to be seen how long Olaf can hold on when he’s got Marie sticking her feet through the ropes and wedging both of her boots right to his carotid artery. Olaf determinedly clings to the cables even as he’s choked out by Marie’s boots.
It appears that Kalinda is in equally as dire straits, finding herself leaning over the ropes with not one, not two, but three competitors trying their absolute best to eliminate her. Harrison, Victoria and Darko are putting their all into sending the dragon crashing right out of the Rumble. Kalinda is staying in there though, even if she’s hanging upside down with her palm pressed to the apron, basically doing a headstand.
…3, 2, 1…..BUUUUZZZ!
A thousand voices all at once cry out in fear when “Judge & Jury” plays over the PA system, meaning that all are about to bow to the Queen of Chaos. Cindy Todd makes her way out from the back and she does not emerge from the entry way alone. Cassandra Mason is following behind her, carrying a 2×4 wrapped in barbwire.
Hunter: Hell has just come to the Rumble.
Frankie: If anyone watching at home just suffered a cardiac arrest, don’t worry, you’re lucky compared to all those in that Rumble right now.
Hunter: New Eden’s Queen is descending like a buzzard ready to tear at the flesh of so many exhausted competitors in that ring.
Frankie: And the new right hand of New Eden is beside her, Cassandra Mason
Hunter: She showed her allegiance to Cindy earlier tonight when these two cost Mika Kozlov the World Championship.
Frankie: They’re about to cost everyone in this Rumble a whole lot more
It appears as if Marie Jones isn’t that worried about Cindy, in fact she’s dashing right at her. She runs right into a shot from the barbwire board…
Hunter: Noooo! Cindy using that board on Marie!
Todd rips the skin from Marie’s stomach and then tears some flesh from her spine as well. The barbwire board in Cindy’s hand cracks Marie right over the spine, driving her down to the floor. Cindy exacts the same type of punishment upon her old friend Orlando Cruze, catching him the moment he works his way back to his feet with the barbwire slicing across his brow. Aaron Harrison doesn’t get off any easier. Although he manages to nail a few punches across Cindy’s brow, it’s when he goes for the knock out shot that his knuckles collide with BARBWIRE. Cindy gets the board up and causes Harrison’s fingers to get caught in the piercing barbs. Cindy then nails a kick right into Harrison’s crotch, doubling him over. Cindy drops the 2×4 and gives Harrison a snap DDT straight into it, driving his skull into all that razor wiring.
Hunter: Can anyone get any control over this destructive force out here?
Frankie: I highly doubt it. Cindy is damn near….no-no-no…she IS unstoppable.
Hunter: So many have stood up to her and so many have fallen.
Frankie: Including everyone unfortunate enough to be in that ring with her right now.
And that means Kalinda is the next with her head on the chopping block. While Darko and Victoria give up eliminating the dragon and concentrate on eliminating one another, Cindy swoops in towards the still kneeling Kalinda. She puts the barbwire right across the dragon’s brow and starts to grind it back and forth across the flesh on her brow.
10, 9, 8, 7 6….
A smile is drawn across the face of Cassandra Mason as she watches this performance, a depraved one from her queen. Cindy is deeply enjoying the depths of depravity that she sinks to in order to make this a nightmarish evening for all those surrounding her. She continues to rip all the flesh off of Kalinda’s brow by dragging the barbwire bat back and forth, back and forth across her scalp. Finally blood starts to trickle from beneath the wounds opened across the dragon’s skin.
…3, 2, 1…BUZZZZ!
The scars on Kalinda’s head aren’t the only ones about to be opened.
Karen: This has gone on long enough….
Todd’s oil black eyes rise from the blood on Kalinda’s brow to the face of the Riot brand Principle Owner currently stood on the stage. Karen McBride has a microphone in her hand as she stops on the stage, setting aside her well-being by addressing the most dangerous woman in professional wrestling.
Frankie: Come on already, we’ve seen enough of this stuck up bitch…
Hunter: Be easy on Karen McBride, she’s had a rough night.
Frankie: I was talking about you.
Hunter: Oh.
McBride’s had her trials and tribulations throughout the night and dealing with New Eden might just be the toughest battle of them all. Luckily she’s not battling them without a strategy.
Karen: New Eden, this-this-this CHAOS needs to end….
Cindy licks the blood from the barbwire board she’s clutching before laughing in the face of McBride’s authority.
Karen: And I know just the way to stop you. (Takes a deep breath before turning to the entry way) Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce not only the next entrant into the 2016 Last Stand Rumble, but the newest member of the IWC roster…..RIDDICK!
The San Siro stadium goes absolutely ape shit at the sight of Riddick hobbling through the curtains to the stage.
Hunter: WWWWHHHATT!!???!!
Frankie: Riddick? RIDDICK!!??! RIIIDDDICK!!!??!!!
Although Riddick is still suffering the effects of that garish Hell in a Cell match against Ambrosia, he still shows fire, he still shows intensity, he still shows RAGE. All of it is directed at Cindy Todd, a woman he has such a long, storied and TROUBLED history with.
Frankie: Has Karen lost her damned mind? What-what-what is she thinking bringing Riddick to Riot?
Hunter: This is a MAJOR steal from the UWA roster, but I realize why Karen felt the necessity of recruiting Riddick, he’s the only one who has proven in the past that he can stop Cindy.
Frankie: He almost killed her for Christ sakes! This is like trying to fight an infestation of tarantulas with a horde of poisonous snakes. Karen might have wanted to end New Eden’s chaos but what she’s done by bringing in Riddick is ensure ANARCHY.
Cindy’s chest is heaving and her skin is turning all different shades, finding herself consumed by fury at the sight of Riddick rolling into the ring. It’s her surprise that keeps her frozen in place, just glaring at Riddick as he stands up in front of her. Finally she pulls back the 2×4 over her shoulder and prepares to use it. Only she stops when seeing Riddick take something out from behind his back, and that something is a spool of barbwire that ends up placed between his teeth.
Hunter: Holy mother of God.
Frankie: It’s one psychopath versus another psychopath.
Hunter: DANGER!
The fans go absolutely insane as Cindy and Riddick collide in the center of the ring, trading shots with one another. At last Cindy swings her barbwire 2×4 at Riddick’s head and it smacks him straight in the temple. The shot sends him spiraling along into the ropes, ricocheting off and then lunging right back into Cindy with a fist wrapped in barbwire. The skin is cut from Cindy’s jaw and the blow almost knocks her to the ground. Somehow she stays upright, gathers herself and runs at Riddick with the 2×4 raised over head. The barbwire is about to be driven into Riddick’s head only to have him side step her and ram his fist right into Cindy’s stomach. The barbs around his knuckles tear into Todd’s gut, the barbs almost piercing her intestines.
Hunter: This is insane….there is SO MUCH history between these two.
Frankie: So many years of hatred and now so many years about to be taken off of one another’s careers.
Hunter: Ever since Riddick set foot in the IWC he’s made it apparent he WANTS Cindy, and now he’s got her.
Frankie: Cindy’s wanted this just as badly as Riddick, and you better believe she’s going to take advantage of this opportunity to get the revenge she’s been after for years.
10, 9, 8…..
Cindy leans against the ring ropes while Riddick approaches her, his barbwire wrapped knuckles aimed at her face. Somehow Cindy manages to get her forearm up and block Riddick’s punch, holding back his fist and the barbs trying to reach her flesh. Now Cindy swings her barbwire board at Riddick’s skull only to meet with the same result as her enemy. Riddick gets his hand wrapped around Cindy’s forearm and pushes back the board that is getting closer and closer to his flesh. This life and death struggle is witnessed by everyone as Cindy and Riddick fight to keep barbwire away from their respective faces.
Hunter: Who’s going to break?
Frankie: Who’s going to survive?
We won’t get the opportunity to find out, as this fight between Cindy and Riddick is nothing but a prelude of chaos yet to come. Suddenly Harrison comes staggering up beside Cindy and Riddick, grabbing them by their legs and lifting them until both athletes go spilling over the rope. Their hands are so preoccupied with one another that they can’t grab the cables, meaning there is nothing that can stop them from hitting the ground.
Hunter: OOOOOH!
Frankie: Are you friggin kidding me!!??!
Hunter: Harrison, Aaron Harrison has just eliminated Cindy Todd and Riddick!
Although they’ve both been eliminated from the Rumble, Cindy and Riddick are not through RUMBLING. They get to their feet at ringside and trade shots with one another all under the watchful gaze of Cassandra Mason. She doesn’t know if she should intervene or just go on continuing to enjoy the spectacle. She opts for personal entertainment, observing as Cindy and Riddick exchange fists off to the side of the ramp….a ramp that is about to be traversed by the next entrant.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUUZZZZ!
And the newest competitor in the Rumble is already scrambling towards the ring before their entrance music can even cue up. The crowd squeals at the sight of Julia Braddock making a mad dash to the squared circle.
Hunter: What an unbelievable turn of events here. Riddick and Cindy Todd so preoccupied fighting each other that they didn’t even see Harrison sneak up on them until they were already flying over the ropes.
Frankie: Those two aren’t through with each other, they’re just getting started….
Hunter: Much like Julia Braddock, who wants to make a major statement in this Rumble. She’s had a break out year thus far, one that could culminate to her main eventing UWA Olympus and challenging for the World Title.
Julia jumps towards the ring which she hopes will be the epicenter for her proudest moment ever. Not if Andre Jordan has his way though. He runs across the ring and tries to ram his shoulder into Julia’s ribs only to have her leap out of the way of this calamitous situation. She springs to the top rope and then leaps off, flying over Andre and into a stereo clothesline that connects with the throats of Victoria Salinas and Danny Darko. All three competitors go down but Julia is the first back to her feet. She runs straight at Cassius, leaping into him with her feet extending, connecting with his gut. She launches him out of the corner he was standing in and into the monkey flip. Surprisingly Cassius still has the wherewithal to flip straight onto his feet, showing off his sheer agility. He now whips around back to face Julia who is springing back off the corner Cassius was just tossed out of. She hits a twisting roundhouse kick that nails him straight in the bridge of his nose.
Hunter: What passion being shown by Julia. You can see how bad she wants this.
Frankie: Winning is in her DNA, much like rugged manliness is in my genetics.
Fatigue has set in on a lot of the athletes in this Rumble, including Jessica Wilde. It appears that Harrison is going to capitalize on that. He steps in from behind, takes her by the hair and yanks her up to her feet…actually he yanks her OFF her feet. Wilde flips back and hits a Pele style kick straight to Harrison’s face. The impact sends Harrison stumbling towards the ropes, using them as a crutch. They don’t help but hinder him when Harrison finds his jaw on the receiving end of the Thunderstruck. Olaf dashes in and hits the carbon foot print on Harrison’s jaw, the blow sending him flying over the ropes and to the floor.
Hunter: What a kick!
Frankie: That blow just knocking Harrison straight over the ropes.
Hunter: He had a very impressive showing in this Rumble, eliminating Riddick and Cindy Todd simultaneously mere moments ago. It’s just a shame he couldn’t parlay that momentum into a victory.
Frankie: Don’t forget that he also sent Alistair packing from the Rumble, which was the mother of all outrages.
Olaf whips around after eliminating one competitor and now sets his sights on another. He runs right at an achy Marie in order to drive her down with his version of the Meathook Clothesline. He starts to throw his arm at her throat but the only thing that collides is his face with the canvas. Marie leaps into the air, catches him and drives him down with the diamond cutter. Olaf’s face bounces off the ring with enough force to send him popping up to his feet. He stands up just as Victoria Salinas catches him from behind with the back stabber.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6…..
There’s so much going on inside of the ring that the crowd has trouble keeping track of it all, hence why Johnny Kingdom and his ongoing knee issues continue to fly under the radar. At the moment he’s hobbling around the ringside area, leaning heavily on the apron to keep himself upright while the ringside medic checks him over. Obviously the doctor does not like what he sees and is now imploring Kingdom to return to the back so that the full extent of his injuries can be examined. If there’s one trait Kingdom displays above any other, it’s his stubbornness. He refuses to leave the ring, and refuses to abandon the Rumble.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZ!
Johnny will probably be very grateful he’s not in the ring right now considering the very dangerous athlete presently headed for the squared circle. The entire arena is forced to endure the presence of Desmond Drake.
Hunter: Oh great.
Frankie: It’s Dessie D baby!
A horrified Drake scurries towards the ring with the Queen of Wrestling Title hung from his forearm and his eyes looking back towards the entry way. The pint sized Drake climbs up the steel steps and then straight into the ring, clutching tight to the title belt he stole from Selena Frost.
Hunter: Desmond Drake still carrying the title he was SUPPOSED to defend against Selena Frost earlier tonight.
Frankie: Drake didn’t have to compete in that match, there was nothing for him to gain from it, unlike the Rumble. He wins this and he’ll become the first person in history to potentially hold both the Queen of Wrestling and the World Titles simultaneously.
Hunter: He has no right to be clutching that Queen of Wrestling belt. He STOLE it from Selena, and plus, he’s a man….I think.
Drake’s manhood is about to be tested when he backs up across the ring and finds his back striking a knee about twice as big as he is. He almost chokes on the gulp in his throat as he slowly turns around and looks up into the face of Kalinda.
Hunter: The smallest man in the Rumble has just run afoul of the biggest competitor in that ring.
Frankie: The midget Drake is squaring off with the dragon Kalinda, and look, I think Kalinda is trembling.
Hunter: Bullshit.
It’s Drake who’s shaking, so bad it vibrates the entire ring. And he has a right to be shaking when he’s got a dragon standing over him. Well she’s not just standing there anymore. She reaches down with both hands, clasping them around Drake’s throat. His tiny body is heaved into the air with ease and is now about to take a plunge over the ropes with the very same double handed chokebomb that dispatched Trump from the Rumble. But just before Drake can be eliminated we see five ladies dressed in ski masks and black prevent their benefactor from being eliminated. The very same quintet who aided Drake in escaping Selena Frost earlier in the night, slide into the ring from all sides and immediately pounce on Kalinda. They are hitting her from every possible angle and all the blows are weakening her enough to cause her legs to buckle at the knees. She falls to the ring with all these shots continuing to rain down on every inch of her anatomy.
Drake: Enough with her…(Drake shouts at his bodyguards)…take out the rest of them!
He points across the ring at all the other athletes competing in the Rumble. Each of these competitors find themselves ambushed by the five ladies in ski masks.
Hunter: This is downright wrong.
Frankie: Drake would make the great Silas Mason so proud. He honors our former Principle Owner both by holding that Queen of Wrestling Title and potentially winning the Rumble here tonight.
Drake continues to call the shots as his ladies deal out the damage. The five of them are stomping away at every single body lying in the ring, rather it be Orlando Cruze, Cassius DeLight, Marie Jones, Julia Braddock, Andre Jordan, or any other. Finally they converge on Victoria Salinas, grabbing her by the arms, dragging her to one of the corners and sitting her up against them. Drake stands across from her and gives Victoria a crotch chop gesture before running right into the BRONCO BUSTER.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Drake takes considerable joy in driving his crotch right into Victoria’s face again and again and again.
Hunter: This is disgusting.
Frankie: Drake making Victoria pay for getting involved in his business with Selena three weeks ago.
Drake continues to hit the bronco buster and laugh hardly in the process.
…3, 2, 1….BUZZZZ!
Drake may never laugh again when the lyrics of ‘BELIEVE’ start to play through the loud speakers. Everyone in the arena, save for Drake and his battalion of ladies, rejoice at the sight of the next entrant in the Rumble…Selena Frost.
Hunter: Oh what a fitting coincidence.
Frankie: You ‘oh’ more than a hooker I’ve paid to orgasm.
Hunter: Selena Frost, the Snow Queen, she’s in the Rumble and she’s entering at the perfect point. She’s got Drake, the man who stole her Queen of Wrestling Title, dead in her crosshairs.
Selena is stomping down the ramp where the man she’s been chasing throughout the night is standing with HER title in his hands. Drake looks horrified, staring at all the ladies he’s brought with him and suddenly wishing her had hired more.
Drake: What are you waiting for? GET HER!
The ski mask clad bodyguards dash at Selena the second she gets in the ring. With lightning fast reflexes Selena drops to her back, causing one of the women in black to go tripping over her and to go flying over the ropes to the outside of the ring. Another of Drake’s goons is hustling towards Selena only to be side stepped, caught by the back of the head and thrown over the strands. There’s a third bodyguard dashing at Selena and a third victim of the Snow Queen’s wrath. Selena ducks down in time to catch the woman coming in, hitting her with a back drop that sends her flying to the outside of the ring where she lands on top of her cohorts.
All three woman hit the ground, and they won’t be the last. The final two members of Drake’s protective detail meet with better results than the previous three. They catch Selena from either side and start wearing her down with clubbing blows and stomps. Eventually Selena falls back and finds herself being forced to her seat with her back to a turnbuckle. All the while Drake is giving her the crotch chop gesture and is now taking off across the ring to deliver the Bronco Buster. Drake’s groin flies right into the bottom of Selena’s boot. She gets her foot up and right into Drake’s balls….bursting them on impact.
Frankie: NO! Nothing is working out for Drake.
Hunter: I think he’s going to be spitting out his balls after that kick just caught him.
While Drake rolls around on the ring holding his groin in his hands, his attacker is being led up to her feet. One of Drake’s bodyguards climbs up the turnbuckle Selena is propped against and is swinging punches down across the Snow Queen’s brow. Only two punches connect before Selena slips out from under her assailant, stands behind the masked woman and gives her a shove. The lady is sent spilling over the top rope and then all the way down to the ground. Now it’s up to the fifth and final member of Drake’s faction to dispatch Selena and do so with extreme prejudice. She catches Frost with a few forearms to the side of the face before placing her in a front chancery.
It looks like the bodyguard isn’t just going to take Selena out, she’s going to do it with her victim’s very own finishing move, the Ice Breaker. She lifts but never pulls Selena’s head down into the ring. Instead Selena swings that head out of her attacker’s clutches before turning back to the masked woman, grabbing her around the head and lifting her into an Ice Breaker delivered by the originator. This woman’s head bounces off the ring that she is now rolling across. She stands up with her back to the ropes, cables she is sent spilling to the other side of when Victoria Salinas comes dashing across the ring and nails her under the jaw with a jumping back heel kick.
10, 9, 8….
Hunter: There just went the last of Drake’s goons.
Frankie: Doesn’t matter, because there goes Drake…he’s getting while the getting is good.
That’s just what Drake is doing, grabbing the Queen of Wrestling Title and then taking off across the ring he intends on escaping. His eyes are trained on Selena, watching her right up until he runs into a wall. He finds himself ricocheting off the legs of Kalinda. She blocks his exit from the ring and his escape with the gold presently in his hands. Now she watches as Drake falls on his ass, scooting like a dog with worms across the carpet in order to evade her. He turns away from Kalinda and desperately crawls to safety….actually, he crawls straight into doom. Selena is waiting for him and shows the wee-one no mercy, latching onto his arm and flipping him onto his back where the Frost Bite is applied.
Hunter: FINALLY!
Frankie: Someone get some help out here for Drake!
….4, 3, 2, 1…..BUZZZZ!
The woman presently on her way down the ramp won’t be of any aid to Drake. Although Ambrosia is still suffering the brutality of her Hell in a Cell match against Riddick, it’s not going to keep her out of this Rumble. Ambrosia smiles through the pain that is coursing through every inch of her as she shuffles her way towards the Rumble, clasping at her ribs through the whole arduous journey.
Hunter: Surprising that Ambrosia can still go after what she and Riddick put each other through in the Hell in a Cell earlier tonight.
Frankie: Yet here she comes. Another sadist about to enter a masochist’s wet dream.
Hunter: Ambrosia victorious in the Hell in a Cell earlier on, but can she keep winning all the way to Olympus?
Frankie: Who cares? The only thing I’m worried about right now is Drake and that arm this psycho Selena is trying to tear out of its socket.
Drake is crying out louder than a choir of banshees. The only thing louder is his hand slapping the canvas repeatedly as he taps out to the Frost Bite. At first Selena is reluctant to release Drake from the arm bar, not letting go until she hears his shoulder snap.
Frankie: Let him go you sick freak.
At last Selena shows some mercy, letting Drake go from the Frost Bite but not letting up on him entirely. Finally she drags Drake to his feet, dashes him to the ropes and throws him over to the outside.
Hunter: Drake gone from the Rumble.
Frankie: Damn you Selena, damn you straight to Kentucky.
Hunter: Selena has not only got revenge on Drake, but she’s got her Queen of Wrestling Title back in the process.
The fans are beaming with pride at the sight of Selena picking up the Queen of Wrestling Title from the canvas then raising it high over-head. Her celebration is incredibly short lived, because Ambrosia has just run up behind her, grabbed her by the back of the head and thrown her over the ropes. Miraculously Selena grabs the cables and manages to avoid an elimination.
Hunter: Ambrosia almost making a huge impact right out of the gates.
Frankie: Selena THAT close to going over…THAT close.
Victoria jumps on Ambrosia and drives her into the ropes, pounding her with rights across the scalp. Ambrosia goes on eating fists, Victoria packing quite the wallop. On the other side of the ring Julia Braddock is laying into the mid-section of Orlando with stomps and Andre Jordan has joined in. Only while Julia gives the boots, Dre provides the chops, his hand cutting right through Orlando’s sternum. Julia and Andre then grab Orlando’s legs, lifting them into the air and trying their best to force him over the ropes to the outside.
Frankie: Hang in there Orlando! For the love of Pete…no, for the love of Frankie, hang in there.
Hunter: You definitely have a way of inspiring people.
Frankie: I might as well as be a Rocky montage.
Olaf is trying his best to match up with Kalinda, drilling her across her bloodied brow. But Kalinda gives just as good as she gets if not better. A well placed uppercut to the CNG competitor’s throat sends him twisting away and towards Marie, who was stalking her prey patiently. She nails Olaf with a dropkick that sends him staggering back into Kalinda’s shoulder. Now she heaves him up and into a back drop suplex that sends Olaf flying over the ropes. Although Olaf SHOULD be eliminated his quick reflexes and his agility save him. He latches onto the top rope and lands on his feet across the apron. Meanwhile Kalinda is dashing across the ring and into a lariat that connects with enough force on Marie’s neck to send her twisting through the air. Kalinda then spins back around just as Olaf comes running back into the ring, but Kalinda catches him with a sidewalk slam that would make the Big Bossman sit up in his grave.
Once again focus shifts to Johnny Kingdom at ringside, his leg continuing to be a source of concern. The ringside doc goes on imploring him to stay out of the ring but Kingdom is adamant about continuing to compete in the Rumble, even if the doc AND his body are shouting at him to think otherwise.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….
Victoria’s fists have Ambrosia’s forehead swelling and her back bridging over the top rope. One last shot should do the trick and eliminate her, Victoria backing up to deliver the final strike. She runs in and runs right into a boot, Ambrosia launching her foot into the air. Although it SHOULD connect with Victoria’s mouth, it doesn’t, she catches it before the heel has a chance to nail her in the kisser. She was quick enough to catch that boot, but not the one the one that comes sailing into the back of her head. Cassius sneaks in behind Victoria and smacks her upside the brainpan with a thrust kick. The shot has Victoria all disorientated and leaves her unable to stop Ambrosia’s free foot from launching into the air and smacking her in the temple. The modified enzugari hits Victoria with enough force to send her twisting to the middle of the ring where Jessica Wilde is leaping into a spinning heel kick that nails her upside the bridge of the nose.
….2, 1….BUZZZZ!
Hunter: Who’s it gonna be?
Frankie: Please let it be Tay….We need a lot more Tay tonight.
It’s not Tay who comes to the ring it’s……Mya Denton. There is quite the reception as she comes running down the ramp and slipping into the center of all the madness.
Hunter: It’s Mya Denton.
Frankie: This is unfair.
Hunter: Why’s that?
Frankie: Because with all of Mya Denton’s split personalities isn’t this like letting two, three, maybe four people into the Rumble at once?
Hunter: Mya has had her issues with dissociative disorder, and Aaron Harrison has been trying to get her to let the darkest part of her take over.
Wilde is waiting for Mya the moment she gets to her feet, throwing a lariat at her neck. However Mya possesses the quick reflexes to duck the clothesline and then catch Wilde around the head the moment she whips around. Mya has to move even quicker if she wants to thwart Danny Darko, who is staggering along in her direction. Mya puts her boot out, kicks off Darko and uses him to launch herself around into a tornado DDT.
Hunter: Mya dropping Wilde straight across her head with that sensational DDT.
Frankie: She’s going into that ring with a lot of people who have been in this match for a very long time.
Hunter: Yeah, so she’s got to take advantage of her freshness.
Frankie: You sound like a damned tampon commercial.
Although Darko is one of the many in this Rumble who has been competing out there for quite some time he still has the ability to launch himself into a double stomp that nails the unconscious Wilde right in the ribs. Meanwhile Kingdom is finally rolling back into the squared circle and trying to put some pressure on his leg, trying and failing. He hobbles along and clubs Selena Frost over the back with a forearm, then turns her around into a right that connects across her brow. He then tries to lunge into a clothesline only to cry out in pain, double over and grab at his knee. This gives Selena an opening, leaping into a dropkick that nails Kingdom right in the cheek. Kingdom collapses to the canvas then goes rolling to the outside, dropping across the mats and clasping at his leg.
Hunter: Kingdom still trying to compete even with that injury he sustained to his leg.
Frankie: Just give up Kingdom, you’re old frail body can’t take this type of punishment anymore.
Speaking of punishment we see Cassius DeLight unleash some on the kidneys of Andre. He punches him to either side of his back and causes him to turn away from Orlando, who he was very close to finally throwing out of this Rumble. Cassius grabs the back of Andre’s head and leads him along into the ropes, leaning him over the top strand and lifting up on his legs.
Hunter: Good lord, how long has Cassius DeLight been in this Rumble at this point?
Frankie: I’m telling you man, he and Orlando are on the brink of setting a new record. They’ve been in there since the very beginning of this match, and that was like what, four days ago?
10, 9, 8….
The numbers presently inside of that squared circle just keep on swelling, though if Julia Braddock has her way the roster in the ring might start dwindling. She grabs Cassius from behind, going for what appears to be a German suplex only to have him perform a standing switch. He gets behind Julia, who then delivers a back elbow right to his mouth. She then takes off into the ropes, springs to the middle cable and flies off, twisting into a clothesline but ending up getting caught with a spinning powerslam. Cassius drives her down and then goes hustling along into the cables, ricocheting off before dropping down into the rolling thunder. This time he connects with the move he was looking for much earlier in this bout, coming down right on top of Julia’s chest with the Bankroll. Cassius slips off of Julia and to his knees, starting to stand up only to have Andre step over the back of his head, hook both of his arms and deliver the Game Changer. The pedigree drives Cassius’ face right into the ring.
Hunter: I tell you this much, Cassius’ endurance is being tested right now after moves like that.
…3, 2, 1…..BUZZZZ!
Thousands cry out in horror at the sound of ‘My World’ by Brand New Sin playing over the speakers. Out from the back sashays former World Champion and the newest member of the UWA roster, Serenity.
Frankie: Greeeeeaaat. Here comes another screwball.
Hunter: And the latest addition to the UWA, a woman who gives our fledgling federation instant credibility.
Frankie: Not when she gets in that ring and gets dumped on our ass.
Hunter: She’s a former World Champion who survived to the final three in last year’s Rumble. Will we see her go one step further here tonight?
Frankie: She already went one step back leaving the IWC.
A smile sits on Serenity’s face as she rolls into the ring and surveys all the bodies at play. She watches as Marie Jones and Kalinda form an unlikely alliance in their effort to send Olaf over the top rope. She watches as Mya Denton attempts to scoop slam Jessica Wilde to the outside only to have her potential victim grab the top rope and push back from it. She watches as Andre Jordan and Orlando Cruze once again come to blows in the corner of the ring. She watches and watches, in fact that’s all Serenity does, she just sits there looking as relaxed as relaxed can possibly be, her back propped up against the turnbuckle and her arms rested over the converging middle ropes.
Hunter: What is she doing?
Frankie: From the looks of it NOTHING.
Hunter: It’s like Serenity is just sizing everyone up right now and looking for her opportunity to strike.
Just when it looks like Kalinda and Marie are going to eliminate Olaf, here comes Julia Braddock with an unintentional save. She dropkicks Marie to the back and the blow launches her straight into Kalinda, the two bouncing off of one another. Marie twists away from the dragon she just bounced off of and walks straight into Julia’s shoulders, being heaved into a fireman’s carry. All of Julia’s strength is employed to carry the leader of the Ginger Nation into the ropes, trying to throw her over but proving unsuccessful. Marie reaches out and grabs the top rope, refusing to be sent flying over it. Her fight mirrors the one being put up by Wilde, who is clinging to the ropes that Mya is adamant about scoop slamming her over. At the same time Selena Frost and Victoria Salinas have formed a tandem unit designated with the destruction of Ambrosia’s aspirations. While Victoria is lifting Ambrosia’s legs and causing her to hang over the top rope, Selena is stood on the apron placing her in a front chancery and trying to pull her down to the outside. Ambrosia will not go gently into the night.
Speaking of someone who will not go out without a fight, we now see Cassius DeLight employing the ropes to get back on his feet. His worn and withered body has withstood quite the test here tonight, but his arduous journey may come to an end. Orlando Cruze lunges in and hits him with such a powerful European Uppercut that it sends Cassius flipping back over the ropes. To everyone’s surprise Cassius manages to land on the ring apron, staving off elimination. Orlando is fed up with this and is about to bring Cassius to an end. Cruze comes running straight into his adversary’s shoulders. Cassius flies through the ropes and hits a spear to Orlando’s ribs, bringing him down flat to his back.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Serenity just goes on watching, sitting in silent observation of everything that is going on around her, including Olaf’s battle with Kalinda. The Battle Hound is connecting with one forearm after another across the bloodied brow of his adversary. He summons the strength to send her limping back towards the center of the squared circle. He then hustles along into the ropes, ricochets off and then runs right along into a double handed throat thrust unleashed by Kalinda. The strike sends Olaf falling back into the ropes and then finds himself on the verge of being sent over them. Kalinda comes running in for a clothesline only to have Olaf drop down out of the way, grab the top rope and cause Kalinda to go flying over him.
Frankie: KALINDA is….
Hunter: Still in there Frankie, she’s still holding on.
Kalinda lays across the ring apron with her arm hooked around the middle rope, somehow managing to survive. Though her survival may be coming to an end when she rolls to her back and looks up at the boots hurdling in her direction. Danny Darko has just come flying off the top rope and has driven both of his boots right into Kalinda’s ribcage.
..3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZZ!
The arena unanimously comes unglued at the visual of Ricky Holt moving towards the squared circle to the tunes of ‘Unsettling Differences.’
Frankie: There he is….there’s my boy….there’s Ricky Holt!
Hunter: A man who has been ultra-impressive since his debut here in the IWC.
Frankie: Ultra impressive AND ultra-VIOLENT. This guy broke Devon Kayl down until he couldn’t compete in the IWC anymore, so there’s no telling what he’ll do to everyone here in this Rumble.
When Holt gets into the ring it becomes apparent that his focus is only on one individual, someone standing outside of it. Johnny Kingdom continues to limp around at ringside doing his absolute best to walk off the injury to his knee.
Holt: Hey old man….
Holt rolls out of the ring and starts to walk around it, but before he can reach Kingdom he makes a pit stop. An unfortunate front row fan has something stolen from them, Holt pilfering their possession then offering it to Kingdom.
Holt: Looks like you need this….
Kingdom is spun around by the shoulder and now looks down into the walking cane that Holt is offering him.
Frankie: HAHAHAHAHA-AAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHA!
Hunter: This is just disrespectful as disrespectful can be.
Kingdom looks sideways at the cane and then into a face that his fist comes hurdling into. The crowd explodes when Kingdom smashes Holt in the cheek with a punch, followed by a second and then a third. The shots across his face have Holt all disorientated, swinging his arms to remain upright.
Frankie: HEY! Holt wasn’t expecting that.
Hunter: Well he brought it on himself.
It seems there’s only one refuge for Holt at this point, rolling into the ring so as to evade the rapid succession of punches crushing his face. Kingdom isn’t letting this fish off his hook, he rolls into the squared circle and then goes hobbling along after his adversary. Just as he sinks his fingers into Holt’s hair a cane cracks Kingdom right in his injured knee. Holt lands a blow that all but cripples Kingdom with one strike.
Hunter: THAT CANE!
Frankie: Holt just blasted Kingdom in his bum wheel with it.
Hunter: Damn you, Holt, damn you-you no good bastard.
Frankie: What was it you said a few seconds ago? Oh yeah, Kingdom brought it on himself.
Hunter: Shut up…MACKIE.
Frankie: I will not….wait a minute…WHAT did you just call me?
The cane to the kneecap has sent Kingdom buckling to the ground. He’s been Kerriganed and is now rolling around on the canvas shouting ‘why’ at the top of his lungs. His legs is folded up and his hands are cupped around his knee, one that he cannot properly protect from yet another shot with the cane.
Hunter: Enough is enough Holt.
Holt keeps swinging the cane over and over and over again into Kingdom’s injured leg, doing untold amounts of damage. He throws aside the cane, but it’s not because he’s through attacking Kingdom’s leg. A different tactic is employed to inflict further injury, Holt swinging around the knee of the Team Leader and then dropping down into the figure four leg lock.
Hunter: This is SICK!
Frankie: It’s crippling…..Holt is CRIPPLING Kingdom.
Hunter: If Kingdom hadn’t taken that spill onto the ring steps earlier on in the Rumble this would be a much more even fight.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Right now that fight is about as one sided as one sided can get, Kingdom trapped in the figure four and bellowing in agony. Holt isn’t bellowing, he’s laughing, laughing at the top of his lungs as he unleashes this punishment on Kingdom’s leg. At the same time Danny Darko is climbing up onto a turnbuckle and then diving off into not one, not two, but three bodies. He takes down Selena, Ambrosia and Victoria, driving everyone down to the ring with a senton. At another end of the ring Marie Jones is throwing Mya Denton into the turnbuckle and then is hustling in behind her. Marie dives into a heat seeking dropkick only to have Mya move out of the way. As a result Marie’s legs hit the turnbuckle and she is flipped upside down, landing on top of her head. She rolls away from the corner and to her seat, sitting up just as Mya cracks her in the face with the shining wizard. The Demented nails Marie in the face and leaves her all but at the mercy of her opponent. If those opponents are all like Ricky Holt, they have no notion of mercy. He continues to show none to Kingdom’s leg, keeping the figure four clinched in.
….3, 2, 1…BUUUZZZ!
The fans express utter delight at the sight of the show stealing superstar Matthew Bowden bolting for the squared circle with such speed and such intensity it would make the Ultimate Warrior blush.
Hunter: We’ve got yet another rookie sensation headed out to compete in the Rumble.
Frankie: Matthew Bowden has been pretty red hot since his debut here in the IWC, but competing at Last Stand will be the ultimate litmus test.
Hunter: That’s the best part about the Rumble, it evens the playing field and gives everyone, Bowden included, a fair opportunity to challenge for the World Title.
Bowden jumps from ringside to the apron and then hustles across it. His journey takes him to the top rope, which he flips off of into the 450 splash, crashing down directly into the chest of Holt.
Hunter: Bowden going straight after Holt.
Frankie: Yeah, these two guys won’t be going out for brunch any time soon. And while I’m on that subject. Da fuq is brunch?
It’s not brunch that anyone is concerned with, but a CRUNCH, that sound coming from Holt’s chest when Bowden lands down onto him. The springboard 450 broke the figure four on Kingdom. Anguish is etched in the lines of the Team Leader’s face as he goes crawling along into the strands.
Kingdom is using the ropes to stand on a badly injured leg. That battered limb plagues him yet again when Marie Jones steps in from behind, grabs him around the thigh and then lifts, sending him flipping to the outside mats.
Hunter: Kingdom tossed by Marie.
Frankie: That injury costing him a shot at the Invictus main event.
Once on the floor Kingdom is tended to by medics. This time the ringside doctor will not take ‘no’ for an answer, throwing up an ‘x’ with both arms and summoning the EMT staff to help out Kingdom.
Hunter: It looks like Johnny Kingdom is going to be taken out of here rather he likes it or not.
Back in the ring Mya Denton has to contend with Julia Braddock, who catches her around the head, going for the reverse neck-breaker. Before she can fall victim to this move Mya swings around out of her opponent’s clutches and places Julia in a side headlock. She then runs towards the corner and cracks the top of Julia’s head against the middle turnbuckle pad. Julia is knocked back after being used as a battery ram, rolling to the middle of the ring where she ends up on her knees and on the receiving end of a shining wizard.
Hunter: Yet another Demented just unleashed by Mya and HEEEEEYYY!
Frankie: It’s Kat Kelly BABAY!
Once again Kat Kelly invades the Rumble, slipping into the ring and then crouching down behind an unsuspecting Mya. The moment that Denton gets back to her feet and turns she finds her face smashed in with the Kat Kelly Championship belt.
Hunter: Damn her! Damn Kat Kelly!
Frankie: Revenge….sweet-sweet GRAND revenge.
Hunter: Kat continuing to target the people who assaulted her earlier tonight.
Frankie: Mya and Harrison tried to take that Kat Kelly title from her, and now they’re getting it…..mwaahahahaha.
The blow from the belt across her brow has dropped Mya flat on her back and now her attacker stands above her wearing a sneer.
Kat: GRANDEUR! REGALITY! NOBILITY!
The Kat Kelly title collides with the cheek of Selena Frost, sending her twisting to the floor. As EMTS come out to help Johnny Kingdom it becomes apparent to this crew that Kat is giving them a slew of future patients.
Kat: DIGNITY! MAJESTY! PRIDE!
The braggart moves to the middle of the ring where the title she’s employed as a weapon is raised over her head.
Kat: That’s what this belt represents now. And it will never, NEVER (crouches towards Mya and lifts her head by the bangs of her hair) be associated with scum like you or ‘she who will not be named.’
The medics assist Kingdom to the back before one of them starts to head towards the injured combatants in the ring. She slides in and then grabs the cap she’s wearing over her head, ripping it away to reveal the face that was shadowed beneath.
Hunter: WAIT A MINUTE…WAIT….A….MINUTE!
Frankie: Uhhhhh, am I seeing this?
The whole world is in an equal amount of surprise at the sight of Rachel Tatum Lee.
Hunter: It’s her! She’s back! SHE’S BACK!!
Frankie: This is totes unreal.
Kat is totally unaware that the woman she’s smeared for weeks is now standing in the ring behind her, wearing the fiercest of scowls. In fact, the scowl on Rachel’s face is so potent in its anger that Kat can actually feel it. She turns around apprehensively and finds herself on the receiving end of a powerful Loredo Lasso.
Frankie: AHHH!!
Hunter: That clothesline from hell!
Frankie: Not on my Kat. This isn’t happening. Tell me Rachel isn’t back!
Hunter: She’s not only back but she’s absolutely beating the crap out of the woman who has defaced both her title and her career.
Rachel kneels beside Kat while pounding and pounding and pounding away at her face. Now Rachel takes her by the ears and just starts to ram the back of her skull against the canvas.
10, 9, 8, 7..
A desperate Kat manages to claw Rachel in the eyes and slip out of her clutches. She falls from the ring to her knees and scoots across them frantically. She flees from Rachel and does so with the Kat Kelly title still in her hands. Rachel stands up in the middle of the ring snarling as she watches Kat escape. Finally she rolls out and stalks Kat to the back.
Hunter: Shocking. Absolutely shocking turn of events here in the Rumble. Rachel Tatum Lee has surprised everyone with this ambush.
Frankie: Who let her in the building? Huh-HUH!?! They should be fired!
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!
As high drama unfolds in the ring high energy is displayed by the man who just made it to the stage. Although Mason Van Stanton is full of excitement, as well as full of something else, the crowd isn’t into him or into his biceps (or lackthereof) flexes.
Frankie: I was really-really hoping that Mason Van Stanton was blowing smoke up our asses when he said he was going to compete in the Rumble.
Hunter: It was no lie, unfortunately.
Frankie: This is all McBride’s fault. Mason feels he HAS to compete in the Rumble in order to prove he’ll fight for her administration.
Hunter: That’s total crap. You know Mason just wants to be back in the limelight again, just like last year when he made multiple appearances in the Rumble with different disguises.
There’s no disguising Mason’s fear of heights. When he gets to the ring he scales a turnbuckle, stands on the top rope and then pays homage to the Macho Man by pointing with both hands to the ceiling. When he looks down at his target Julia Braddock, fittingly, he rethinks things. He climbs down to the middle rope and then points up at the ceiling once more. He then looks down at Julia and has second thoughts. Now he climbs down to the BOTTOM rope and after giving tribute to the Macho Man leaps into the elbow drop.
On the other side of the ring Mya is recovering from the multiple shots she took to the skull from the Kat Kelly title. She is using the ropes to stand up and has her back turned to her opponents. One of them breaks away from the batch, Marie Jones stepping up behind Mya, grabbing her around the thigh and lifting. Denton finds herself flung over the cables and then down to the floor.
Frankie: Mya eliminated.
Hunter: She was unable to recover from that blow she took from the Kat Kelly title belt.
Frankie: And it looks like Johnny Kingdom’s night is over too.
There are two EMTS tucked under Kingdom’s arms, holding him up so that he doesn’t have to apply much weight to his injured knee. He allows himself to be aided up the ramp and towards the back while several of the fans clap for him respectfully.
Back inside of the squared circle Bowden is beating down the man responsible for putting Kingdom in this position. Holt finds himself getting one boot after another to the ribs. Finally Bowden takes Holt’s hair and runs him across the ring, trying to throw him to the outside. Holt pulls away at the last second though and pushes Bowden, sending him flying into the ropes. Bowden doesn’t go OVER those ropes however and instead bounces off them. He comes back in at Holt who jumps at his adversary only to have his blow ducked. Bowden catches Holt in position for the Alabama Slam and then turns to send him over the top rope. Just when the two reach the strands, Holt manages to wedge his feet to the cables and then push off of them. He sends both himself and Bowden flipping over into the Canadian Destroyer.
Hunter: OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW!
Frankie: That was one nasty piledriver.
Bowden bounces off the top of his head and goes flying to the middle of the ring. Up until now Serenity has assumed the role of a silent observer, but now she sees an opportunity to strike and she’s going to take it. She comes flying off the top rope of the corner she was seated against moments earlier and hits the shooting star press on a shattered Bowden.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Hunter: A breathtaking shooting star press.
Frankie: And now look at Serenity, she’s going right back to the corner.
Serenity rolls into the turnbuckle, sits against it and pats her hand across her yawning mouth. Meanwhile Andre Jordan is going after Ambrosia, kicking her in the ribs, doubling her over and putting her in position for the pedigree. He is just about to drop her with the Game Changer before Orlando runs in from behind, catches Dre by the back of the head and then runs him into the ropes. Dre can’t stop be tossed over but he can stop falling to the floor. He grabs the cables and lands on the ring apron. Needless to say Orlando is infuriated, running at the ropes and throwing a boot right through them that collides with Dre’s face. The shot ALMOST takes Dre off the apron but it’s nothing compared to the shot Orlando is about to take. He turns around just as Cassius nails him with a powerful superkick under the jaw. The shot sends Orlando spiraling along into the ropes then falling THROUGH them to the outside of the ring.
Hunter: Orlando ALMOST had Dre and now Cassius ALMOST had Orlando.
Frankie: These guys need to stop playing with my emotions.
Cassius steps towards the ropes he just sent Orlando crashing between and looks over at the body splayed at ringside. As Cassius observes a beleaguered Orlando, he fails to see the clothesline traveling into the back of his head. Olaf runs in and hits the War Cry Clothesline on Cassius, delivering it with enough force to send the recipient forward flipping over the ropes. The crowd cries out at the sight of Cassius tumbling to the floor.
Hunter: (Sullenly) Aaaaaah man, no….nooooo….why?
Frankie: Cassius couldn’t hang in there forever.
Hunter: Cassius DeLight’s amazing performance in this Rumble has just come to an end.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!
Just about everyone in the arena jumps right out of their seats at the sight of Marina Valdivia emerging from the backstage area.
Hunter: Listen to this reception.
Frankie: I don’t have to if I don’t want to.
Hunter: It’s impossible not to hear it. This place is just erupting for Marina Valdivia, who endured a grueling Stairway to Hell bout in order to earn her way into the Rumble…to earn her way one step closer to main eventing Invictus.
Frankie: After what Cassidy Haze did to her earlier on she’s got no chance in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks of surviving this Rumble.
The results of that harsh Stairway to Hell bout against Cassidy can be seen in the bandages that are plastered across Marina’s brow. But it wouldn’t matter to her if she were on life support, she’d still come to that ring and she’d still fight for a right to challenge for the World Championship. And fight is exactly what she’s going to have to do, because Olaf is already waiting for her in the ring. Or at least he WAS waiting for her. Suddenly Serenity clobbers Olaf from behind, dropping him to the canvas at her feet. Where he once stood Serenity is now standing. She looks over him, over the ropes and right at Marina. A smile starts to slither across Serenity’s face as she crouches at the knees and gestures for Marina to BRING IT.
Hunter: Oh yeah, here we go, Serenity calling Marina Valdivia into the ring. These two have such a well-documented history with each other.
Frankie: They spent the better part of 2015 tearing each other to pieces, and now they’re about to do the same right here, right now, right in the middle of the Rumble.
Marina does not have to be asked twice, she goes dashing straight towards the ring, slides in and immediately comes to blows with Serenity.
Hunter: Their getting it on.
Frankie: Serenity’s gonna make sure Marina isn’t going to Invictus, isn’t going to win this Rumble, and that she isn’t going to survive the night,
Serenity’s punches are aimed directly at the bandage on Marina’s brow, trying her best to bust her open. However, Marina retaliates with uppercuts that nearly break her greatest rival’s jaw. Outside of the ring we can see Cassius, covered in his own sweat, walking up the ramp and running a hand back through his hair. He stops for a second to look at a front row fan singing Cassius’ praises in between sips of beer.
Cassius: High five chief.
Cassius holds up his hand but the moment the fan lifts his own the beer he was holding is stolen from him.
Cassius: Thanks bud.
Many fans chuckle as Cassius walks up the ramp chugging down what’s left in the beer bottle he just pilfered. Back inside of the ring Marina and Serenity are still going at it. Finally Serenity hits a palm thrust upside Marina’s cheek that sends her spiraling around into a full circle. She turns back to face Serenity just in time to catch her coming in with a hurricarana. Serenity is spiked down straight on top of her head, bouncing off of it and over onto her seat. Instead of expressing pain, Serenity is expressing delight. She jumps right back to her feet and catches Marina by the shoulder, pulling her around into another palm thrust. The blow smacks Marina straight in the mouth and sends her twisting towards the ropes. Serenity is in hot pursuit, barreling towards Marina who suddenly leaps into the air, lands on the middle rope she was standing in front of and springs off it, catching her adversary around the neck then spiking her on top of her skull with the tornado DDT.
Hunter: Marina managing to hold her own in there in spite of everything Serenity’s teammate did to her earlier on.
Frankie: It’s just the calm before the storm. In a matter of minutes Serenity is going to hit Marina with a burst of wind powerful enough to rip a trailer park apart.
10, 9, 8….
On another end of the squared circle an absolutely exhausted Marie Jones is chopping away at the chest of an every bit as winded Jessica Wilde. There’s also a fight waging on between Darko and Kalinda, the dragon leaning back against the ropes with Danny’s foot wedged to her throat. Much of the focus is on Marina though as she points to the top rope and signals that the California Splash is coming and its Serenity she’s going to decimate with it.
Hunter: Marina’s gonna make a massive SPLASH in this Rumble and on Serenity.
Frankie: I really hope you didn’t think that was clever.
Marina is about to make her ascent up the corner but instead she’s forced to make a descent from the ring. A hand has just reached under the ropes, latched onto her ankle and pulled her feet out from under. Marina is then dragged all the way out of the ring where she finds herself the recipient of a punch, delivered with a chain wrapped fist. And who was responsible for this? Much to the disbelief of everyone in the arena, it was Katelyn Buehler.
Hunter: What-what-what what the hell!?!
Frankie: Katelyn, our champ, she just ummmm-uhhhh attacked Marina? Last time I checked these two didn’t have a beef.
Hunter: It looks like Katelyn is having some type of out of body experience, look at her eyes.
There is no life exhibited in Katelyn’s gaze, there is no anger, there is no sympathy, there is no compassion, there is nothing. She is in a deep trance like state, standing over Marina who she just busted wide open with the chain wrapped around her knuckles.
Hunter: Why did she do this? Can someone explain to me why Katelyn just attacked one of her friends?
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZZ!
There is a piercing cry from all in attendance when Lexy Chapel’s theme music starts to pump through the PA system. Out from the back emerges Lexy with the Evolution Title, the Tag Team Title and another piece of gold in her possession. Everyone in the arena are hassling her endlessly as she makes her descent down the ramp flanked by the man come to be known as Reggie.
Frankie: It’s the love of my life. The future ex Mrs. Paradise, it’s the end of the evolutionary chain because nature can’t produce anything finer than Lexy By Gahd Chapel.
Hunter: Followed by a man we now know as Reggie. We last saw these two assaulting Katelyn’s manager in the back, maybe that’s what sent the Riot World Champion into such an irrational rage.
No, that’s not the reason Katelyn just assaulted Marina, that reason becomes a bit clearer when the world sees the ‘other’ piece of gold that Lexy is carrying. When Chapel reaches the end of the ramp and comes mono a mono with Katelyn she allows a medallion to slip down out of her hand, the very same trinket that has been used to brainwash and to control the World Champion.
Hunter: What the hell does Lexy have in her hands?
Frankie: Please tell me it’s my testicles.
Hunter: You’d have to grow a set first. No…that’s…some kind of talisman. And it seems to be having some type of influence over Katelyn.
Frankie: It would have to, because normally that hot-mess Katelyn would be all up in Lexy’s jelly.
The talisman dangling from Lexy’s hand has the World Champion so fixated she’s unable to drag her eyes away.
Lexy: One more time.
Lexy points down at the blood oozing from Marina’s scalp. Without a moment’s delay Katelyn pulls Marina up by the bangs of her hair and swings the chain around her knuckles right across the open wound in her target’s head. Marina goes down harder than a refrigerator landing on Roger Rabbit’s head, and she DOES see stars.
Lexy: Very good….Now (puts the talisman in front of Katelyn’s entranced eyes), put the bitch in the ring.
Katelyn does just as instructed, throwing the carcass of Marina into the squared circle where her body lifelessly lays.
Lexy: Get out of here.
Without so much as a glance back at the ring Katelyn walks off, leaving a trail of blood dripping from her knuckles.
Hunter: Someone PLEASE for the love of God explain to me what’s going on?
Frankie: Alright-alright, I’ll start at the beginning. A long time ago someone drank a shit ton of alcohol and was under the belief that your mother’s cooch wasn’t as toxic as Chernobyl, so they stuck their Vienna sausage in there and poof, nine months later after three failed abortions here you came.
Hunter: Errrmmm…thanks for summing it all up.
It’s easy pickings for Lexy, standing in the ring over Marina who is about as prone as a damsel tied to railroad tracks. It appears Lexy is going to be the locomotive that splays Marina’s guts as far as the eye can see. She pries her off the ring and then starts to run her towards the ropes, determined to throw her to the outside. Before Lexy can fulfill her plot she hits a roadblock in the form of Andre Jordan. Thankfully Marina has friends, and this one comes in the form of the ever loyal Andre, who will not see her dissed like this. He nails a punch across Lexy’s chin, and then does so once again with enough force to send Chapel reeling back on her heels. Although Dre may have defended Marina, he does not do nearly as good a job of defending himself. Lexy unleashes the superkick, nailing Dre clean under the jaw and knocking him flat on his back. Lexy spins from one victim to another, seeing Marina’s friend Victoria racing towards her. What Victoria ends up colliding with is Lexy’s boot, a second superkick crushing a second jaw.
Lexy turns her boot from one chin to another, shutting the mouth of Olaf with a superkick as well.
Frankie: It’s the Superkick Soiree, and everyone is invited to the shindig!
Except for Serenity. She avoids the superkicks while crawling towards Marina still splayed across the ring. Such delight is taken in grabbing Marina by the hair and pulling her up into one fist after another to the blood seeping out of her gash. Serenity then headbutts that very same wound, opening it further and sending blood splashing here, there, everywhere. Heads collide once again because Serenity pulls Marina’s cheek against her own and starts to stroke her hair.
Serenity: Haven’t you missed me, Golden Girl?
10, 9, 8, 7….
Another superkick is unleashed by Lexy, who collapses Julia Braddock’s temple at this point.
Serenity: Hey, over here!
Lexy looks around until she finds the source of the screams, her eyes honing in on Serenity, who holds up Marina and pins her arms behind her back.
Serenity: Give her some sugar.
A smile comes to Lexy’s face, one that will broaden when she hits a fifth superkick on the jaw of a helpless victim. She goes for the kick and it connects right upside Marina’s chin, the impact sending her to ground. Serenity watches her fall at her feet and giggles. She keeps on giggling right up until Lexy goes to superkick her as well, but the boot bound for her chin is stopped just shy of landing. Serenity catches it, looks down at it and then back at Lexy before shaking her head.
Serenity: For me? (Lifts Lexy’s boot) You shouldn’t have.
Serenity hits an inside leg trip on Lexy’s planted foot and then hooks her around the knees. Before Lexy has the chance of thwart it she’s being catapulted towards the ropes, sent flying over them. With very little time to spare Lexy grabs the top strand and holds on for dear life, avoiding elimination.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUUZZZ!
The crowd gets incredibly excited when Chris Davids emerges from the backstage area. There’s a huge grin on his face as he’s embraced by the very crowd that’s been anticipating his arrival all night long.
Hunter: I guess this is the reason Chris Davids looked so happy when he selected his number at the start of the night.
Frankie: The man clicked his heels together, his mother-fucking heels.
Hunter: All because he’s coming in this late and it drastically improves his odds of going to UWA Olympus to challenge for the World Title.
An old foe is going to make sure Chris doesn’t get that opportunity. As soon as he slides into the ring Chris is almost hit with the Scarlet Letter by Jessica Wilde. He doesn’t even get a chance to get to his feet before Wilde tries to take him out with the Curb Stomp. Her foot hits…the ring. Chris pulls back just in time to avoid the Scarlet Letter and then makes his opponent pay for trying to take him out with it. Wilde spins around and Chris kicks her to the gut before leaping into the scissors kick. He drives Wilde down and then rolls back onto his feet right as Selena Frost comes in. Chris spots her from the corner of his eye and catches her with an elbow to the mouth. Selena is knocked back and right into the waiting arms of Ambrosia. An attempt is made to German suplex Selena over the ropes and send her to the outside, but to Ambrosia’s regret she’s unable to connect. A standing switch is performed, putting Selena behind her opponent who she then pushes along into a roaring lariat. Chris was in the perfect position to catch Ambrosia the moment she got the shove, flooring her with his bicep.
Hunter: Ambrosia brought down with the spear.
Frankie: Why is everyone teaming up on the crazy babe? She’s already banged up enough after that Hell in a Cell match. It isn’t fair.
Chris and Selena aren’t the only two who team up on Ambrosia. As they close in on her a figure suddenly shouts into their ears and wards them off.
Mason: No-no-no-no….
Chris looks every bit as confused as Selena, the two looking towards Mason Van Stanton as he comes moseying out of the corner he had been hiding in up until now. His pencil thin arms are extended out to his sides and his tiny manicured fingers are gesturing for Chris and Selena to hang back.
Mason: Allow ME to do the honors.
Mason points to the ropes that he intends to throw Ambrosia over. Selena and Chris exchange a glance and then shrug with indifference.
Chris: By all means.
Selena: Don’t let us stand in your way.
Mason cracks his fingers and limbers himself up before grabbing Ambrosia and grappling her in a side headlock. He leads her up to her feet and then the pipsqueak starts to drag her towards the ropes. That’s when all the confidence he was just displaying fades as fast as Shia Lebouf’s star power. The color is all but gone from his face when he realizes that Ambrosia isn’t budging an inch. His wide panicked eyes turn to her face, which is looking up at him from his armpit with a crazed smile. Mason is as horrified as anyone who paid money to see a George Lucas movie post 1977. Ambrosia isn’t panicked, she’s enjoying this, sniffing at Mason’s armpit.
Ambrosia: Lady’s Speedstick?
Mason immediately lets go and backs off, diving between Selena and Chris then nestling himself protectively behind their backs.
Mason: GET HER!
He points at Ambrosia and expects either Selena or Chris to act as his personal attack dogs. They look at each other and then look at Ambrosia before forming a consensus. The two step aside and open up a path for Ambrosia.
Ambrosia: Yaaay.
10, 9, 8, 7….
Ambrosia lashes out, grabs Mason and then pulls him over her knee before smacking him straight across his bottom.
Ambrosia: You’ve been a very naughty boy.
Mason doesn’t know rather he should be horrified or excited. Though he eventually makes up his mind when Ambrosia pulls him off of her knee, licks him across the cheek and then charges him at the ropes. Mason doesn’t even try to fend off elimination as he’s sent flying over the top rope.
Hunter: There went Van Stanton.
Frankie: Guy got off easy if ya ask me.
Hunter: Ambrosia could have done a whole lot worse to the little worm.
A horrified Van Stanton backs across his seat and glares into the ring where Ambrosia is pantomiming holding a phone to her ear.
Ambrosia: Call me.
Behind Ambrosia’s back we see Chris and Selena look at each other, shrug and then run at their common foe. They both grab Ambrosia by the arms and throw her over the ropes. Ambrosia doesn’t go out as easy as Mason, dropping to the ring apron and preventing her elimination by clasping hold of the cables.
…3, 2, 1….BUUUZZZ
The crowd gets into quite the uproar when the True Sinistry’s Decay comes stomping out from the back.
Hunter: Another brute and perhaps the most imposing member of the True Sinistry coming down that ramp.
Frankie: With Jessica Wilde still hanging in there somehow it gives this macabre ‘family’ a number’s advantage
One that Decay and Wilde will no doubt employ once the big man has entered the ring. He rolls in and immediately finds himself in contention with Olaf. The Battle Hound runs in to deliver another War Cry Clothesline but instead finds his throat grabbed, engulfed in Decay’s palm. A chokeslam is then delivered with such force that it actually rattles the ring. A similar fate befalls Julia Braddock, who comes limping towards the big man only to be caught, popped up into the air and then powerbombed almost THROUGH the ring. Decay now sets his sights on Wilde, who is still hurting after everything she’s endured in this Rumble thus far. Decay will make sure she doesn’t hurt anymore, dragging her into a corner, standing her up and then putting himself in front of her. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks at anyone who might dare come after Wilde.
Hunter: Looks like Wilde’s got herself an enforcer.
Frankie: That’s a wall she’s got in front of her.
Hunter: An impenetrable wall.
While Wilde has some protection, Marina Valdivia doesn’t. She is being rag dolled by Serenity, who has her propped up against the turnbuckle smacking her to either cheek.
Serenity: Don’t fall asleep yet, stay with me, stay with me….(rubs her forehead against Marina’s face)….stay with me sweetness. I want us to PLAY.
Oh how Serenity enjoys this, finding it ever so exhilarating to run Marina towards the very ropes she’s just about to send her flying over. But instead of flinging Marina to the outside Serenity finds herself on the receiving end of a superkick. Lexy FINALLY hits it and with enough force to knock Serenity almost right out of her boots.
Hunter: Lexy and Serenity not playing very well together.
Frankie: And dammit, it’s causing them to forget all about Marina. Focus on her ladies, focus on her, then you can rip each other’s clothes off all night long if that’s what you want.
At last Lexy’s attention DOES turn to Marina, stepping over her head and pulling her up into position for the package piledriver. Her bodyguard Reggie gets closer to the ring just so he can see Marina get dumped right on her noodle.
Frankie: Hit that shit. Hit it!
Hunter: Lexy’s about to snap Marina’s neck if she delivers the Explicit Content.
Marina has survived a lot tonight, but she’s not about to survive this. Lexy lifts…no….she’s lifted. Right before she can be hit with the Explicit Content, Marina stands up and sends Lexy flipping right over the ropes.
Frankie: NOOOO! NOOOO!!! NOOOOO!!!!
The sounds of Frankie’s fists hitting the announce table can be heard as Lexy’s backside hits the floor.
Hunter: Lexy-Lexy eliminated! She was just tossed out by Marina!
Frankie: I’ve lost the will to live.
Lexy can’t handle this, it’s absolutely unfathomable that she had Marina right there in her hands and right on the verge of elimination only to find herself tossed instead. She looks towards Reggie, pleading with him to tell her it’s a lie, but he has to be honest, no matter how much it might hurt her.
Lexy: Do-do-do something about this!
A furious Lexy points at the ring and Reggie goes sliding straight in there. He catches a crawling Marina by the shoulder, lifts her up and then drives her back down into the canvas with a sit-out chokebomb.
Frankie: There we go….that’s more like it.
Hunter: Aren’t you supposed to be killing yourself?
Frankie: I’ve suddenly found my spirits rejuvenated.
Reggie rolls out of the ring and provides Lexy with something else now, his shoulder for her head to lean on. He helps her up the ramp and to the back before Lexy looks back at the ring spitefully. Inside of that squared circle a beaten up Marina finds no rest for her weary body. Serenity is back on her, taking her by the hair and slowly guiding her up to her feet.
Serenity: Parting is such sweet sorrow.
10, 9, 8….
There’s only one reason that Serenity has stood Marina up, it’s so she can set her in place for a concussing kick. Serenity runs at the ropes right in front of Marina, springs from them and then twists into the roundhouse kick. It collides, just not with the victim she had intended. Victoria Salinas bites the bullet, shoving her friend Marina out of the way and eating Serenity’s kick. The shot almost knocks Victoria’s teeth out but they stay in place, the same can’t be said for her feet though. She’s down flat and her attacker Serenity is standing over her, sighing. She’s not happy that Marina dodged a bullet, for now. That’s about to change, because Serenity turns to Marina and closes the distance between them, She builds momentum behind yet another strike, this one of the closed fist variety but Serenity soon discovers that Marina is an expert at playing possum. Suddenly Marina catches Serenity coming in, stands up and back drops her right over the ropes.
Frankie: NOT AGAIN!
Hunter: Serenity! Serenity is gone!! She’s out! She’s eliminated!
Frankie: I’m gonna blow….
Hunter: Save it for the sailors on shore leave Frankie.
Frankie: What? No, I mean….SHUT UP!
The crowd is going absolutely nuts and they aren’t the only ones. Serenity is trembling at ringside, her whole body shaking.
….3, 2, 1…BUUUUUZZZZ!
The emotions that were at such a high now go sinking down low…very-VERY low because Teiji Shintaro is crawling down the ramp.
Hunter: Oh God no….not Teiji Shintaro….no one is safe now.
Frankie: Like they were before?
Hunter: What is that in Teiji’s mouth?
Frankie: Shit more than likely.
Hunter: No…look….I think that’s….I think that’s a RAILROAD SPIKE.
That’s exactly what it is, a spike is clinched between Teiji’s teeth as he makes his way down the ramp and towards a ring occupied by so many he would love to give a good stabbing. Marina won’t be one of them, because at the moment she’s being pulled out of the ring by a woman bent on revenge. Serenity has dragged Marina to the floor but instead of collapsing onto it she lands on her feet. That’s just what Serenity was hoping for, because it puts Marina in a perfect position to suffer a springboard roundhouse kick. Serenity comes off the apron and cracks Marina right in her already bloodied brow.
Hunter: Marina suffering yet another attack….this time by Serenity.
Frankie: It’s not like she didn’t have it coming.
Hunter: Why did she deserve this?
Frankie: Cause I don’t like her.
Hunter: That’s not a valid reason.
Frankie: Since when?
Although Marina may not be at his mercy there are still plenty of others that Teiji can get at. He’s presently running right across the ring and swinging the spike he was holding straight at the head of a man he’s no stranger with. Matthew Bowden had been employing the turnbuckle to hold himself up, and now that very turnbuckle pays the ultimate price for lending him aid. Bowden moves out of the way and the spike in Teiji’s hand impales the top turnbuckle pad. Teiji spins around smirking with teeth crusted in crap…teeth that are about to be knocked out when Bowden punches him across the face. Teiji lashes out and tries to get his hands on him but Bowden ducks through his arms and then hurries behind him. However Bowden is still ducked over long enough to get a punt right between the eyes from Ricky Holt.
Holt had been lying in wait this entire time to help his bud Teiji out, landing a strike on their common foe. The shot to the face sends Bowden staggering back and into the arms of Teiji, who immediately hooks both of his arms. Bowden is rendered defenseless, having no protection from the right hand that Holt unleashes upon his jaw. Or at least was PLANNING to unleash. Bowden slips through Teiji’s arms and now Holt’s fist flies past him, traveling right towards the jaw of the Japanese Terror.
Holt: WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!
Holt STOPS right before he could nail Teiji in the lips. He then puts his palms up towards his demented teammate.
Hunter: Holt and Teiji ALMOST coming to blows yet again.
Frankie: These two guys have spent more time fighting each other tonight than they’ve spent fighting their opponents.
Bowden sees a great window of opportunity and capitalizes on it. He leaps from the ring apron and to the top rope, flying off into a forearm smash that collides with the back of Holt’s head. The shot sends Holt forward right into Teiji, the two smacking skulls. A dazed Holt then turns back towards Bowden, who grabs Holt by the hair and throws him to the outside of the ring. Holt doesn’t crash to the floor though, he crashes to the apron and won’t go any closer to the ground. Or at least he hopes. When Holt gets back to his feet on the apron he finds Bowden reaching over the ropes and grabbing him around the jaw. Before he can fulfill whatever he’s got planned for Holt, Ricky reaches back, grabs Bowden by the neck and snapmares him to the ring apron. Bowden comes down to his knees, but it’s not into the floor. He lands right beside Holt and then takes him by the wrist. Holt finds himself dragged into Bowden’s shoulders and set up for the Death Valley driver to the ground.
Hunter: Holt’s night is about to come to an end!
Before Holt can take the fall to the ground he’s saved by Teiji, who reaches over the ropes in time to grab his ‘friend’ by the ankle and pull him back into the ring. Holt lands right beside Teiji, who didn’t save his comrade for entirely altruistic reasons. He grabs Holt by the back of the head and uses his skull as a weapon, throwing it over the ropes and right into the bridge of Bowden’s nose. The headbutt sends Bowden tumbling back and collapsing to the floor.
10, 9, 8…..
Hunter: Bowden just eliminated by these damned lunatics. And I mean they are CRAZY.
Frankie: They’re the Union of Ultra-Violence.
Hunter: I don’t care what you want to call them. They’re absolutely NUTS!
Frankie: See, that’s what makes Holt, Teiji and their agent Eric O’Flaherty so….
Hunter: NO! Their fucked in the heads. That’s it.
Bowden has just landed on the floor right beside a recovering Marina Valdivia, who’s face is covered in a mask of crimson. Back in the ring Holt is arguing with Teiji before he kicks his own partner in the gut not out of malice, but as part of a psychotic plan. He puts Teiji in a side headlock then uses the top of his skull as a battering ram, running the length of the ring before ultimately slamming Teiji’s head into the ribcage of Marie Jones. A moment after the impact Teiji pulls his head out of Holt’s hands and looks him dead in the eyes, his brown teeth forming a jagged smile. Holt tries to explain himself before he’s grabbed by the back of the head and run into another headbutt, this time with an impact against the small of Chris Davids’ back.
As Holt and Teiji take turns using one another as weapons we can see in the corner of the ring that Andre Jordan and Victoria Salinas are leaning on another, figuratively and literally. The two are exhausted but with their combined strength they still stand a chance, even with Teiji and Holt staring them down. The pair rush towards their worn out prey but Victoria and Dre are no sitting ducks. They fight back and fight back with all they have left in their hearts.
On another side of the ring Olaf Erlandsson is putting his boot repeatedly into the mid-section of Danny Darko, absolutely determined to send him packing from the Rumble, though first he has to soften him up. Olaf kicks Darko in the ribs and then drags his head down into position for the powerbomb. He now lifts him up and onto his shoulders only he never drives him down through the ring. Darko is able to push himself over Olaf’s head with a leap frog, coming down right behind his back. He then looks up towards a boot bound for his face, one that is unleashed by Decay. At the behest of Wilde, the brute is running in for a kick to Darko’s head.
Although Darko SHOULD be caught off guard, he isn’t, instead he drops down into a baseball slide right under Decay’s boot. Darko avoids the shot but Olaf doesn’t, he turns around gets a kick right in the teeth. The shot sends Olaf falling back into the cables and even though Decay could take advantage of his weakened prey, he goes back after his original target. He turns around just as Darko hits ANOTHER Darkolator. The blow sends Decay staggering back and falling into the ropes right beside Olaf.
….5, 4, 3, 2, 1…BUUUUZZZ!
There is a bone rattling ovation at the sight of long-term IWC veteran Jackson Adams making his way down the ramp and doing so just as quickly as his feet will carry him.
Hunter: It’s Jackson Adams, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah-yeah-yeah, big woopity doo. We already knew he was coming back tonight. He vowed just a few weeks ago that he was going to return to the Rumble and get his hands on New Eden. Lucky for him they’ve already been eliminated.
Hunter: That fact can’t set well with Jackson and you just know he’s gonna take his anger out on everyone else in that ring.
The first order of business for Jackson is to get his hands on Kalinda. He sees the blood on her skull and he’s drawn to it, obviously under the impression that she must be the weakest of the herd given the loss of her bodily fluids. Oh how wrong he is. Although Adams is successful in driving her down to a knee via his storm of punches he does not provide enough tornadic force wind to send her flying from the ring. Jackson bounces off the ropes in front of Kalinda and then dives with both feet right into her jaw. The dropkick has Kalinda nearly falling back but still not going down. Jackson is angered by this, running into the ropes, ricocheting off then diving into ANOTHER dropkick. Finally Kalinda is down although Jackson isn’t going to let her stay that way.
Jackson: Come on-come on-come on.
With a sense of urgency he calls out to the likes of Danny Darko, Marie Jones and Selena Frost, anyone who will listen. They gather around as Jackson points down at Kalinda then gestures that they should all work together to toss her.
Ambrosia: Can I help?
Ambrosia steps forward raising her hand then bulking out her chest to make herself look like she possesses the muscle necessary to toss Kalinda all by herself.
Jackson: The more the merrier. Let’s just get this big bitch out of here.
Adams, Darko, Selena, Marie and Ambrosia start to lift Kalinda up from the ring. It takes every bit of muscle from every competitor to get the dragon on her knees and even more energy is exerted to force her to her feet. All five competitors start to force Kalinda along towards the ropes, showing unity….for all of half a second. A giggling Ambrosia lets go of Kalinda and instead grabs an unsuspecting Jackson from behind before throwing him over the top rope.
Frankie: What the hell are you doing, Ambrosia?
Hunter: Who knows what goes through this woman’s mind.
Frankie: She made it look like she was going to be a team player but then she turned on Jackson.
Hunter: Not only turned on him, she just eliminated him.
Adams is furious when he realizes he was thrown out of the match and all because he was so damned gullible. Ambrosia watches him stew at ringside while sticking out her lower lip and then rubbing her eye like she’s mocking his tears. She turns away with a big smile on her face that is soon removed when Darko catches her with the code breaker. Her face bounces off his knees with enough force to send her flying back into the ropes and then flipping completely over them.
Hunter: Ambrosia is out! She’s out-she’s out-she’s out!
Frankie: Serves her right doesn’t it?
Hunter: At the risk of sounding redundant. She did bring it on herself.
The crowd is screaming at the sight of Ambrosia going to the floor and Darko standing up in the ring. He no sooner reaches his feet before he’s hit with not one, but two tree trunk thick biceps. Decay and Olaf come in with interlocked hands and connect with a double clothesline so forceful to Darko’s throat that the impact sends him flying over the ropes and landing at ringside.
Hunter: Oh no! Darko is gone!
Frankie: You can’t turn your back for a second in the Rumble.
Hunter: Bodies just going out left and right at this point.
Frankie: At least it was a UWA body.
Hunter: It saddens me to know that Darko will NOT be going to Olympus, but damned if he didn’t put in a valiant effort here tonight in the Rumble.
10, 9, 8, 7…
Hunter: We’ve got our final entrant coming out here and we all know who it’s going to be.
Frankie: Someone who might be walking into an empty ring at this point.
Neither Decay nor Olaf are going to be in any position to fight that final entrant, because the moment both men turn back towards the ring they find themselves on the receiving end of a STEREO Ava Marie. The Phoenix Marie Jones was waiting for them and snags them both by their necks before hitting them with side headlock drivers. Decay and Olaf roll away from Marie, who is just kneeling on all fours across the canvas. Just then Jessica Wilde comes dashing out of the corner she was leaning against, leaps into the air and hits Marie with the Scarlet Letter. The curb stomp drives Marie’s face into the ring with enough force to burst every capillary in her skull. Wilde now spins around to celebrate what she just did before finding herself on the receiving end of Kalinda’s big clothesline. A clothesline that is delivered with enough force to up send Wilde’s feet from the ring and to send her corkscrewing over the cables to the outside of the ring.
Hunter: There goes Wilde.
Frankie: And there went Jessica’s dreams of challenging her teammate for the title.
Hunter: Wilde was in there for an excruciating period of time but one clothesline from Kalinda changed that.
It won’t be the last clothesline that ends someone’s title ambitions. Kalinda no sooner sends Wilde out of the ring with the clothesline before turning around and spotting Decay using the ropes to get back to his feet. Kalinda runs the length of the ring and hits ANOTHER clothesline. The blow sends Decay spilling over the ropes and falling to the floor.
Hunter: Now Decay is gone too!
Frankie: Kalinda is cleaning house.
Hunter: I’ve never seen a Rumble with so many eliminations this close together.
Kalinda is a woman possessed, LITERALLY. She turns around to face Olaf, who much like Decay is suffering the effects of the Ava Marie and is using the ropes to get back on his feet. Kalinda comes in with a big burst of speed and an even bigger clothesline. Olaf is sent over the ropes but unlike so many others he’s not sent to the ground. Olaf lands on the ring apron, staying alive.
…3, 2, 1….
There’s the alarm to signal the final entrant in the Rumble….ALANA STARR. The crowd is unanimous in their disgust directed at Alana, who now makes her entrance with not just one title, but two. Her belts hang from her outstretched hands as she takes her time moving for the ring.
Hunter: Our final entrant in the Rumble….
Frankie: Thank God, because realistically I would have needed to be hooked up to an oxygen tank ages ago from all this yelling…..
Hunter: Alana Starr won a huge match back on Uprising to earn this coveted spot.
Frankie: Not to mention she won a huge match earlier tonight, and could win an even bigger one right here right now. Which she could very well do seeing as she’s playing things smart.
Hunter: That she is, because she’s actually staying out of the ring as long as she possibly can.
Alana continues to take her dear sweet time reaching the squared circle, hoping even more bodies will be tossed out before she actively participates in this bout. Right now there are not any participants flying over the ropes but there are some fists flying into those participants faces. Andre is teeing off with Teiji and Victoria is battling Holt. The two tandems are still going at it and would continue their brawl if Teiji weren’t sinking his teeth into the bridge of Andre’s nose. This depraved attack draws Victoria away from Holt as she goes to help her friend and does so by jumping onto Teiji’s back and locking in the sleeper hold.
As this is going on Marie Jones finds herself racked with pain and employing the ropes in a desperate attempt to get back to her feet. She probably wouldn’t lean so much on the ropes if she knew that Kalinda was coming in and coming in with that same powerful clothesline that has eliminated so many others. Kalinda builds so much momentum it becomes impossible to stop herself when Marie drops down out of her way and low bridges the top rope. Much to the dismay of everyone in the arena Kalinda goes flying over the ropes and spilling across the floor.
Hunter: Dammit to hell and back again!
Frankie: Kalinda, after enduring so much in the course of this Rumble just made ONE mistake and it cost her a title shot.
Hunter: What a feather in Marie’s cap, she just eliminated the biggest and the baddest creature in this entire Rumble.
It’s not like Marie gets much time to celebrate, because the moment she returns to her feet is the moment that Alana seizes on an opportunity. Finally Starr slides into the ring, runs in behind Marie, grabs her by the back of the head and the waistband then throws her over the ropes.
Hunter: For God sakes!
Frankie: Alana striking while the opportunity presented itself and….WAIT…Marie is-is-is still in this!
Hunter: Are you kidding me? Yeah, you’re right, she’s holding on, Marie is holding on!
For all she’s worth Marie clings to the ropes and uses them to regain her footing across the apron. Though she’s not going to be upright much longer when Alana hits her with the GOODnight. The blow nails Marie right in the back of the head and sends her stumbling forward absent mindedly across the apron. Right at that moment The Battle Hound shows how truly aerodynamic he is when he goes soaring through the air and lands a superman punch over the top rope that catches Marie right in the kisser. The blow knocks the leader of the Ginger Nation off of her feet, off of the apron and all the way down to the ground.
Hunter: The Mjolnir’s Might!!
Frankie: And it just knocked Marie Jones right out of the Rumble.
Hunter: This is unbelievable…UNBELIEVABLE!
Frankie: God Marie was in there for so long and she came so damned close.
Hunter: Well she didn’t catch her break tonight, but she did catch the Mjolnir’s Might.
The excitement is definitely building in the arena now that the eliminations are coming at such a break neck speed. Speaking of broken necks that’s just what Victoria is trying to inflict on Teiji Shintaro. And she would snap his head off his shoulders if that’s what it takes to save her friend Andre. At the moment Dre’s face is filling Teiji’s belly as he dines on the flesh of his latest victim. Victoria is doing everything she can to stop the Terror but things get harder when a cane wielded by Ricky Holt smacks her in the lower back. Victoria is forced to let go, dropping down to her feet and then finding herself on the receiving end of yet ANOTHER blow from the cane, this one nailing her in the back of the neck. Holt drops her flat on her face and if you thought knocking her to the ground was where he’d stop, you’re gravely mistaken.
Holt smacks the cane into Victoria again before going for a killing blow. The cane extends back over his shoulder but it doesn’t connect with the spine of his target for the fourth time. The cane is caught from behind and ripped out of his hands. Holt swings around to face Marina Valdivia, who after EVERYTHING she’s been hit with is still fighting. There might be blood dripping down onto so many injured parts of her anatomy but she is not throwing in the towel. The only thing she’s throwing is the cane aside, and that won’t be the last thing she tosses.
She nails Holt with forearm after forearm after forearm. Once she’s got him disorientated enough Marina grabs Holt around his head and then uses his skull as more than a punching bag. She swings Holt’s forehead directly into the small of Teiji’s back. She then does this again and again and again, however many times it takes to finally force the Terror to stop gnawing on the face of Marina’s friend. Once Andre is freed from Teiji’s jaw he catches the Terror by his wrist and pulls him into the Thrill Ride. The Sky High Press slams Teiji’s back into the ring with enough force to knock any normal man out. But Teiji, someone who devours his own shit, is damn sure not normal. He rolls over backwards and completely no sells the Thrill Ride before rushing giddily at his opponent. But Dre pops up to his feet and catches Teiji coming with ANOTHER Thrill Ride. This time Teiji isn’t popping back up, instead he’s rolling out of the ring and spilling to the floor. At the same time Selena Frost and Julia Braddock are working over one another, trying to push each other over the rope while Chris Davids sits in the corner of the ring trying to recoup.
Hunter: This action is just all over the place right now.
Frankie: This has been the most exhilarating couple of minutes in my life…except for that time I discovered internet porn….or that time I lost my virginity….Actually those two events go hand in hand….literally.
It appears there’s so much going on inside of the squared circle as there is outside of it. Teiji Shintaro is grabbing some toys, reaching under the ring and pulling out a table.
Frankie: A table in Teiji’s hands is like giving a loaded gun to John Wilkes Boothe.
Hunter: You know this is not going to end well.
There’s another brawl going on in the ring that has fans interest, Alana Starr is going after Olaf, leaping into the Goodnight. Her version of the step up enzugari ALMOST crushes the back of Erlandsson’s head only to have duck in time to avoid a brain injury. Alana lands on all fours in front of Olaf, who acts quick, snatching her around the waist and then lifting her up into a gut wrench. It looks like he’s going to gut wrench suplex her over the ropes only to have Alana show her flexibility and cunning by wrapping her legs around Olaf’s neck then sitting up on his shoulders. She turns and attempts to hurricarana Olaf over the ropes, but the only person who goes over the cables is Alana herself. She hangs upside down from Olaf’s neck, legs still wrapped around his neck. Alana dangles above the ring apron and inches from doom. Olaf is in the same boat, and he refuses to be sunk. He holds onto the top rope but even that’s not enough to combat Alana’s leg strength. She keeps pulling and pulling with her thighs until Olaf is hanging over the ropes and above the ringside area.
Hunter: Hold on Olaf! Hold on!
Frankie: Alana’s got him, he’s done! He’s the next one out.
The Battle Hound lets out a roar so primal it drowns out all other screams from the Italian audience. Olaf stands up straight even with all of Alana’s body weight hanging from his neck. Alana ends up right back where she started, on top of Olaf’s shoulders in position to be powerbombed over the ropes. Alana fights like her very life depends on it, slapping her palm into Olaf’s forehead repeatedly until he turns his back on the ropes he was going to powerbomb Alana over. That’s when Chris Davids strikes, barreling across the ring and hitting the Break Through on the ribcage of Olaf. The collision sends the Battle Hound falling back against the ropes with Alana still seated on his shoulders. She drives him down over the cables and all the way down to the floor. While Alana lands safely on the apron the Battle Hound tumbles to the ground.
Hunter: Olaf to the floor.
Frankie: After a GRUELING outing here.
Hunter: Who would have thought Olaf would last this long and if I’m not mistaken, he’s either tied or he’s set the record for eliminations in tonight’s Rumble.
Frankie: Why don’t you just go around and put participation ribbons on everyone so they don’t feel bad for being eliminated?
Olaf is about to have company outside the ring if Julia has anything to say about it. She’s got Selena leaning over the ropes and is smacking her repeatedly over the kidneys with forearm after forearm after forearm. Selena only breaks her grip on the top rope in order to hit an elbow into Julia’s jaw. She then turns around and heaves Braddock onto her shoulder, attempting to running powerslam her over the ropes and to the floor.
On the far end of the ring Marina Valdivia and Andre Jordan are working together, forcing Holt back against the ropes and lifting either of his legs. Somehow Holt gets his arms wrapped around the cables and refuses to be sent over them. Alana comes in and provides some assistance, wanting to participate in another elimination. To the surprise of everyone Alana actually works in consortium with Marina, as the two ladies put all they’ve got into forcing Holt out of the Rumble.
Hunter: Ricky Holt and Julia Braddock both right on the cusp of making their exit.
Frankie: Hang in there Holt, you’re my new favorite to win this whole kitten caboodle.
Andre looks to add to the ranks opposing Holt, he hurries across the ring and to the side of Victoria Salinas, still recovering from the multiple shots she took from a cane moment’s earlier. He’s helping Victoria up from the ring. Though you might not want to nominate him for Sportsman of the year just yet, because Dre just can’t help but to toy with the notion. He sees how weakened Victoria is and how close she is to the ropes.
Frankie: Do it Dre. Just do it.
Dre is definitely thinking about it but in the end his valor outweighs his greed. He pats Victoria on the back then turns away from her to go after Holt. He only gets one step before he’s caught from behind, Victoria running him at the ropes and throwing him over. Andre almost goes to the outside of the ring but grabs the ropes, preventing his elimination.
Hunter: Victoria a wee bit more ruthless than Dre.
Frankie: She went back to her old ways for a minute there.
Dre sits up on the apron and glares into the ring at a kneeling Victoria, who can only offer one explanation for her actions, a shrug. A forearm to the back of her neck will keep her from shrugging ever again. Teiji Shintaro has just got the drop on Victoria, but he’s not letting her actually DROP. Instead he’s got her by the hair and is rolling her from squared circle. The tiny pinpoint black dots in the bright white viscus sea that are Teiji’s eyes are focused on Victoria while his jagged teeth peek out from behind his upturned lips. He’s greatly enjoying what he’s about to do to Victoria, pulling her over onto the table he set up at ringside several minutes ago.
Hunter: Oh no-oh no-oh no….
Frankie: Teiji’s gonna do something….TERRIBLE.
Teiji doesn’t know how to do anything else. He starts to return to the ring in order to get some height behind a plunge through Victoria but a meddling Marina stops him cold in his tracks. She goes diving right through the ropes and right into Teiji with the suicide headbutt. The two collide and the blow sends Teiji falling back while Marina lands on her feet.
Back in the ring Alana is still trying to force Holt over the ropes only to set herself up for disaster. From behind Alana is caught by Chris, who lifts her legs into the air and sends her falling over the very ropes she was about to toss Holt to the opposite side of. But no, Alana is holding on with all the strength she’s got. This prompts Holt and Chris to form a partnership of convenience, stomping away at Alana and nailing her with a few punches as well.
The drama escalates at ringside as well, that’s where Marina is rolling Victoria off the wooden table she was about to be put through. She clears Victoria out of harm’s way only to put herself in danger. Marina is smacked from behind with a headbutt from Teiji. The force of the strike sends Marina rolling onto the table while her attacker is rolling back into the ring.
Teiji has no intention of giving Marina any type of reprieve. He runs across the ring and in an act of pure bloodlust completely forgets the rules of the Rumble, because he jumps to the top rope and then leaps off it right into a big superfly style splash right through Marina and right through the table.
Frankie: AAAAAHHHH!
Hunter: Teiji splashing Marina through a damned table!!
Frankie: But-but-but he eliminated HIMSELF in the process.
Hunter: I don’t think Teiji came here tonight worrying about winning a damned thing. He just wanted to hurt someone.
Frankie: Mission accomplished.
It looks like Teiji is having a euphoric reaction to having put Marina through the table. He rolls away pawing at his ribs and smiling with shit crusted teeth. He so enjoys the image of Marina’s broken body lying amongst broken table.
Hunter: How much more can Marina endure in one night?
The sight of Marina being put through the table has Victoria looking despondent. She crawls across the ground and throws herself over Marina, protecting her from any further harm. Back inside of the squared circle Selena has Julia falling over the ropes and to the apron, though she doesn’t stay there. Julia drops down to her seat and then slides right under the ropes and right through Selena’s side. She then kips up to her feet before stepping in behind Selena, grabbing her around the thigh and lifting. Selena goes over the ropes but just like Julia she comes down on the apron, the Queen of Wrestling Champion staying in this bout no matter the expense to her body. Chris comes in and provides some aid, albeit unintentional to Selena, he nails a right hand across Julia’s brow, the blow knocking her against the ropes.
All the while Holt has Alana lying on the ring apron with a boot pressed to her forehead, pushing and pushing in the hopes that she’s finally go out. She doesn’t, Starr is pugnaciously holding on. An exasperated Andre steps in behind Holt and clubs him over the upper back. He then puts Holt in position for the Tide Turner, lifting him into his version of the Olympic Slam. However, in mid-move Holt slides off Dre’s shoulders, lands behind him and then delivers a dropkick on his upper back. Andre is sent flying into the ropes and then spilling over them to the outside, falling to the ring apron.
Dre stands up right beside Alana, the two former rivals and former lovers coming face to face yet again. Alana delivers a punch across Andre’s face and Andre retaliates with a strike of his own. Finally he kicks Alana in the ribs and sets up to pedigree her face first straight into the ring apron. Though Alana shows remarkable resiliency, standing up and back dropping Dre right onto the hardened fringe of the ring. Andre SHOULD bounce from the apron and fall to the floor, but instead he stays right where he landed, hooking his arm around the bottom strand to prevent elimination.
Alana gets her footing and turns towards Holt back in the ring, about to introduce her foot right upside his skull. She goes leaping to the top rope when Andre suddenly reaches up from ringside, catches her by the ankle and pulls it out from under her. As a result Alana crashes down ribs first onto the rope and now finds herself straddling them with her ribs. If Alana thought that was the worst of her woes, she was gravely mistaken Holt has picked up the cane he was using earlier in this match and now he smacks it right across Alana’s temple. The shot knocks Alana off the ropes and sends her plummeting all the way down to the arena floor.
Frankie: Alright, I’m suicidal again.
Hunter: Alana Starr sent to the floor.
Frankie: Thanks a lot Holt, you’re no longer my favorite to win this.
Hunter: With Alana’s elimination that means we’re getting down to the nitty gritty right now.
Andre, Holt, Selena, Julia, Victoria, Davids and what’s left of Marina remain ever vigilant in their pursuit of winning this evening’s Rumble. Although he’s weak and wounded Dre stands up on the apron, though he might not be staying on it much longer. A cane comes swinging towards his jaw, Holt trying to eliminate him the same way he did Alana a few moments earlier. Dre has to think on his feet instead of responding from his back, he bends in reverse far enough to avoid the cane that goes swinging straight past his brow. Holt turns his back to Andre, who reaches over the ropes and grabs his adversary before delivering clubbing blow after clubbing blow across his sternum. Davids sees this and comes into lend some aid, kicking away at Holt’s ribs and then backing up to get a running start behind a spear. Holt steps out of the way and exposes Dre to take the blow. Davids’ shoulder goes through the ropes but much to his dismay it never hits ANYONE. Everybody manages to avoid it but Davids isn’t able to avoid the crescent kick upside his temple. Dre was waiting to deliver this shot to Davids right to his skull and leaves him as comatose as Steven Segal in Hard to Kill.
Speaking of a kill, that’s what Holt is going for. He’s reaching out of the ring and putting the cane he’s employed as a weapon right across Dre’s throat. Like the Boston Strangler he pulls back on Dre’s throat, trying to choke the very life out of him.
Hunter: I really don’t think Holt is interested in winning this Rumble…I think much like Teiji he just wants to hurt people.
Frankie: Pfft, he’s doing more than hurting Andre right now.
Hunter: He’s choking the damned life out of him.
Holt keeps strangling Dre until what little fight was left in him is all but gone. It looks like the crowd are witnessing a public execution, Dre getting no clemency. There’s no one to help him, not Marina, who is still lying amongst the broken table or Victoria, who is trying her best to get some aid for her wounded friend. She kneels beside Marina while gesturing to the back, crying out for someone…ANYONE to get some assistance for her closest ally. Finally someone does emerge from the back, but it’s not the someone Victoria was hoping to see. Down the ramp strides a confident Tabitha Silverstone, followed by an uneasy detective.
Hunter: Good lord help us. Tabitha Silverstone is on her way down the ramp.
Frankie: Whyyyy? There are no more entrants in the Rumble, doesn’t Tabitha realize that?
Hunter: Maybe she’s out here to check on the condition of her client Marina, that WOULD be the NOBLE thing to do.
Over the past few months Tabitha hasn’t concerned herself with what’s noble, she’s focused on doing whatever it takes to make sure her talents succeed, even at their own expense. Victoria isn’t letting Tabitha get within an inch of one of those clients, standing up with her fists clinched at her sides.
Victoria: What the hell are you doing here? Get lost or…..(raising fists).
Tabitha: SEE! (Nudging the Detective’s arm and pointing at Victoria) I’m afraid for my life.
The officer shows reluctance but performs his job duties.
Officer: Mrs. Salinas, at this time I’m taking you into custody….
Victoria: WHAT!?!
Officer:….on charges of assault…
Victoria: You’re fucking joking.
Officer: I’m afraid not
Victoria is being turned by the officer and cuffs are being slapped around her wrists.
Officer: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of…..
Victoria: This is ridiculous. I’m wrestling a match dammit.
Tabitha: Not anymore, you’re not.
After everything that Victoria went through in this Rumble match it’s hard to believe her night comes to an end like this. She’s led away in handcuffs and forced to watch as Tabitha waves goodbye.
Hunter: Victoria’s being arrested?
Frankie: Can’t have talents just going around attacking people’s agents.
Hunter: I didn’t hear you raise a stink when Lexy was attacking Dan Douglas.
Frankie: Nothing about Lexy could EVER stink.
Hunter: Well this stinks to high heaven and back. Victoria being arrested on the most trumped up charges I’ve ever heard. All she did was SHOVE Tabitha earlier on.
Frankie: Victoria’s a wrestler, Tabitha’s not, so a shove from Victoria is like assault with a deadly weapon.
Tabitha: Let ME help you.
With Victoria out of the way Tabitha is free to get to her client Marina, assisting her up from the broken table she had been lying on top of. Although Marina can barely move, given the condition that multiple attacks have left her in, she makes it back into the ring. Tabitha rolls her inside and then slaps the apron to make sure she has her client’s attention.
Tabitha: You and Dre make me PROUD.
It’s going to be hard for Dre to make anyone proud when he’s being strangled to death. Holt is prying back on the cane extended across Andre’s throat, trying to do nothing short of take his life. Finally Dre is able to get his arm back and around Holt’s neck before dropping to his seat. Holt’s chin snaps off the top rope and his body goes stumbling right back into the waiting arms of Selena Frost. She catches him around the neck, heaves him into the air and drops him via the Icebreaker.
Hunter: Selena caught him, she caught him with the Icebreaker!
Frankie: Damn that Selena! What is she even doing out here still?
Hunter: She’s surviving and making survival difficult for others in the process.
Holt’s head ricochets from the canvas and his body pops back up to his feet. He staggers around as groggy as groggy can be before falling across the shoulders of Andre. He just got in the ring at the perfect time to catch Holt and then to lift him up into the Tide Turner. Holt goes crashing across his back thanks to the Olympic Slam and then bounces up off of the canvas. He absent mindedly rolls right along into the ropes, pawing at the strands instinctively in the process of standing up. Somehow he gets his legs under him just in time to be caught across the chin with a stunner from Julia Braddock. The blow is delivered with such force that it sends Holt flying through the air and flying over the ropes. His body takes the spill all the way down to the arena floor.
Hunter: Holt is eliminated….My God he’s finally eliminated.
Frankie: It took just about everyone in that ring to finally send him packing. Who-who-who do we have left at this point?
Hunter: Five, Frankie, out of the dozens who entered we are down to just five, Selena Frost, Julia Braddock, Andre Jordan, Marina Valdivia and Chris Davids. One of them are going onto Invictus or Olympus to challenge for their respective company’s World Title.
Chris Davids is about to ensure that HE’S the one who earns that shot at the World Title. He staggers in behind Selena Frost and brings an end to their very short lived alliance by dragging her along towards the ropes and trying to throw her over. Selena nails a back elbow to Chris’ jaw though and causes him to turn away, staggering towards Julia, who was just waiting for this golden opportunity. She catches Chris around the neck and goes for a stunner, the very same move that just eliminated Holt. Chris saw that happen and won’t see himself fall victim to the same fate. He puts his hands to Julia’s back and shoves her along, right along into the waiting arms of another opponent. Selena turns around and catches Julia coming in, locking her in a front chancery as she prepares to deliver the Icebreaker.
Hunter: Another Icebreaker about to be delivered by our Queen of Wrestling Champion.
Frankie: Wasn’t what she did to Desmond Drake bad enough?
Selena may just do a lot worse to Julia if she connects with this DDT. Obviously Julia is a far different breed of athlete than Desmond, in the sense that she’s an ACTUAL athlete. She stands up and heaves Julia into the air before sitting her on top of a nearby turnbuckle. Julia then turns away from her and does so just in time to catch an inbound Davids. She side steps him, grabs him by the back of the head then uses his momentum to her advantage. She shoves him right along so that his skull collides with Selena’s stomach. The blow doubles Frost over and sends Davids plummeting to the ring. While Davids goes down to all fours Julia remains on the turnbuckle. Their positioning couldn’t be any more perfect for Julia, who comes dashing across the ring and stepping off the small of Davids’ back. She launches herself into a flying forearm that cracks Selena right in the face. The blow causes Selena to go leaning back from the turnbuckle, right on the verge of plummeting to the arena floor.
To the disbelief of everyone Selena remains on the turnbuckle, sitting on the top rope but precariously bobbing from one side to the other. With one more blow she will surely be sent to the ground. Julia realizes that, sensing the danger that Selena is in. Once again she’s rushing across the ring and using Davids as a launching pad to send her forearm right into Selena’s chin.
Frankie: Goodbye Selena!
Julia travels right into Selena alright, right into the Champion’s waiting arms. Selena catches her inbound opponent around the neck and then gives her a SUPER Icebreaker. Julia comes all the way down from the middle rope to the middle of the ring, her head suffering the nastiest of impacts with the canvas.
Frankie: AAAAAHHHH!!!
Hunter: SUPER-SUPER ICEBREAKER!
Frankie: Somebody has GOT to stop Selena.
That someone will not be Julia, who is presently as brainless as Jessica Simpson. She has no idea where she’s at as Selena and Davids pull her up from the canvas. The two work together to run Julia at the ropes and then collectively send her flying to the outside of the squared circle.
Hunter: Julia eliminated…But damn did she ever come close.
Frankie: She did a lot better than many of her critics would have suspected.
Hunter: She proved a lot here tonight making it to the final five.
Frankie: That five has just dwindled to four.
Two of those four remaining athletes turn their attention to one another, Selena and Davids staring one another down with their fists held back. When it appears they’ll come to blows they come to their senses. The two slowly turn from one another and lock their eyes on the other two competitors left in this Rumble. Andre Jordan has his back turned towards Selena and Davids because he’s too preoccupied checking on the condition of his friend Marina. The fact that she’s still in the ring, albeit unable to rise past her knees, is a testament to her will power. Selena and Davids realize that she’s prime for the pickings and with so much on the line they HAVE to take advantage of that. Before Dre knew what hit him he’s being struck with clubbing strikes over the back that drives him down to all fours. Selena and Davids are stomping away at him but eventually it’s just Davids who is unloading on Dre. He incapacitates Andre so that he can’t stop Selena from eliminating Marina from the Rumble.
That’s just what Selena is doing, pulling Marina’s limp body off the canvas and to her feet. Marina can’t even stand after she was driven through that table, but nevertheless she’s forced to stand and now she’s being forced towards the ropes.
Hunter: Marina’s run coming to an end!
Frankie: About damn time.
A helpless and bloodied Marina is flung over the ropes and she goes crashing all the way down to the APRON. To the astonishment of everyone in the arena Marina barely got her hand around the top rope on the way over and manages to keep her fingers locked around it, staving off defeat. Selena can’t believe this and now turns to build momentum behind a blow that would at last send Marina crashing to the floor. But as Selena takes off she gets cracked in the throat with a clothesline. With a burst of adrenaline Andre leaps up from the canvas and lariats Selena to the throat, driving her down to the ring. He then whips around and catches Davids coming in with a right between the eyes that sends him tumbling to the canvas.
Hunter: Dre with a resurgence.
Frankie: What is this, like his fifteenth wind?
Andre is going to help Selena catch some wind, the moment she gets back to her feet he throws her into the air with the Thrill Ride…a Thrill Ride intended to toss her over the ropes. Selena is sent flying over those ropes with the Sky High Press but in mid-air she counters. She wraps her legs around Andre’s arm and then falls back, applying the Frost Bite. Everyone in the arena is screaming their lungs out at the sight of Selena hanging upside down from Andre’s shoulder, dangling over the ring apron while locking in her cross arm bar submission.
Hunter: WOW! You talk about a Last Stand moment here! This is AMAZING!
Frankie: I can honestly say I’ve never seen Selena lock in the Frost Bite from this position before.
Hunter: She used the hold to save herself and do some serious damage to Dre’s arm.
The roars of Andre can be heard as his arm is nearly torn right out of its socket. He endures the Frost Bite much longer than any person should before Selena finally shows him some mercy. The hold is broken and Dre pulls his arm back to his stomach, doubling over it as he stumbles to the middle of the ring. It’s here that he’s caught with the scissors kick from Davids, the blow driving Dre down face first into the canvas. Meanwhile on the apron we see Selena lying on her side and breathing deep, her prolonged exposure to the Rumble wearing on her. She finally starts to get to her feet before she spots something out of the corner of her eye, and that something is Trinity Street stood at the top of the rampway.
Hunter: Not again…What brings Trinity Street out here?
Frankie: We’ve seen Trinity take a very vested interest in Selena over the past few months, and not a GOOD interest. These two have some history with each other. None of it good.
Hunter: Trinity has NO provocation to be anywhere near that ring right now. If she’s not participating in the Rumble then she should keep her nose away from it.
Frankie: Monarchy does what they want when they want to, Hunter, the sooner you get on board with that the lower your health insurance premiums become.
Much like three weeks earlier Selena does not cower from Trinity, actually she’s standing up on the apron and DEMANDING that Trinity try something.
Selena: Is that all you’re going to do? Just stand there and stare at me?
Trinity finally breaks her chilling silence once she’s within range of the woman she’s stalked for months.
Trinity: Believe me, I can do far worse….
To the surprise of everyone Trinity turns away and starts to walk off. Only before she even takes a single step she stops and slowly looks back over her shoulder with an ever so chilling smile.
Trinity: In fact….I already have.
Suddenly Taylor Chase pops up out of nowhere, dashing across the ring and stepping up the ropes to hit a TKO on the back of Selena’s head. The blow sends Selena flying off the apron and then plummeting to the floor.
Hunter: HEEEEEYYY!! What the hell!?! WHAT THRE HELL!!??!!
Frankie: My girl Tay….My GIRL TAY! God bless dat ass.
Hunter: She has even less business being out here than Trinity, and she just-she just eliminated Selena from the Rumble.
Selena starts to come through in time to see Taylor kneeling over her rubbing salt in her wounds. She’s not the only one who enjoys the sight of Selena’s suffrage, Trinity observes with a grin on half of her face.
Hunter: This is downright TRAGIC. Selena was ‘THIS’ close to claiming a spot in the Invictus main event.
Frankie: But she’s not going to Invictus, is she? And we have Tay-Tay to thank for that.
Hunter: Tay-Tay and Trinity Street equally as culpable for costing Selena the biggest opportunity of her career.
The Queen of Wrestling Champion comes out of her fog and sees the twinkle in Tay-Tay’s eyes, though she’d rather see blood coming down Tay-Tay’s cheeks. Inside of the squared circle Andre, Davids and Marina are consumed with fatigue and riddled with injury but are still fighting for the most coveted opportunity of their careers. Andre delivers a swift knife edge chop straight across Davids’ sternum, the stiff blow sending him staggering along into the ropes. The cables he’s leaning on may prove to be a detriment rather than an aid. Another chop to his chest almost sends him flying back over the cables and suffering elimination.
Hunter: Davids right on the cusp of being taken out of this match.
Dre lands a third chop that nearly rips the skin off of David’s sternum and sends him plummeting to the outside. Finally Dre gets a running start behind one last knife edge chop that’ll put an end to Davids’ title ambitions. In a last ditch effort and out of sheer self-preservation Davids ducks his head and avoids the chop that goes flying right over it. The momentum of his botched chop causes him to turn his back on Davids, who puts his shoulder to his adversary’s spine and lifts, going for a suplex that sends his adversary flying over the cables. Dre is about to be back dropped to the floor but instead he back flips to the apron.
Dre has latched onto the top rope on his way over and keeps squeezing even as he’s about to fly back into the ring. Just as Dre begins his ascent he’s knocked right back down out of the air, Davids catching him in the face with a Pele kick. The shot knocks Dre out of the air and almost out of the ring. The floor is inviting Dre but he’s not accepting the offer, instead he stays on the ring apron, which has saved him so many times in the course of this contest. It won’t be enough to prevent his elimination when his adversary Davids is running the length of the squared circle, going for the spear. As Davids flies forward, Dre flies over. This time he’s successful in leaping over the ropes and over the bent back of Davids, catching him around the hips in the process. A pop comes from the crowd at the visual of Dre rolling Davids into a sunset flip that sets up for the spinning toe hold.
Dre swings around Davids’ leg to apply the submission but makes the mistake of putting his back to his opponent. With lightning fast reflexes Davids puts his boot to his adversary’s butt and shoves, the force of the kick sending his opponent flying along into the ropes.
Hunter: Dre about to go out.
Frankie: It’s about flipping time.
Dre almost goes over the ropes but stops just shy of connecting with them. He turns his back on the cables that threaten to arrange a date between himself and the floor-mats. Davids plays matchmaker, dashing in to ensure that rendezvous happens. But when he gets within range of Dre, Davids finds himself caught around the waist and his body being flipped back into a release belly-to-belly suplex that sends him flying over the ropes. He flies over but he does not fly down to the ground. His hands latch to the top rope that he now dangles over, feet hovering above the floor.
Hunter: So close…my God this is soooo close.
Frankie: Davids hanging onto those ropes like a cat clinging to a clothesline in an inspirational poster.
Hunter: You’ve come this far, you’re this close, just keep holding on Davids.
That’s just what he does, holding on before flipping in. He skins the cat back into the ring with his legs leading the way. He regrets re-entering the squared circle this way when his foot is grabbed by Dre and used to drag him into the ankle lock. Davids ends up in the middle of the squared circle where his ankle is being twisted and ripped in the clutches of his adversary.
As this struggle between Dre and Davids continues we see Marina Valdivia crawling along into one of the corners. She stands up swiping blood away from her brow and trying to find the strength to straighten her legs under her.
At the same time there’s another set of legs suffering. Davids’ ankle is being torn to shreds by Andre, who is doing everything, everything in his power to walk away from the Rumble tonight victorious. The same conviction is shown by Davids, who flops to his back, puts his boots to Dre’s ribs and kicks with all his strength. Dre is sent flying into the cables and then falling back over them. The squeals from the audience are louder than they’ve ever been at the visual of Dre landing….not on the floor but on the apron.
Frankie: How does he keep doing it?
Hunter: Dre is holding on again.
Every inch of Dre hurts when he gets to his feet on the apron, although nothing is going to ache more than when he’s knocked from that apron. Davids runs the length of the ring and then lunges into a spear, his shoulder flying through the ropes and cracking Dre in the ribs. The blow sends Andre flying straight down to the floor.
Hunter: DAMMIT!
Frankie: Hahahahaha-ahahaahaha, Dre is gone, he fell right on his ass, HYSTERICAL.
Hunter: I really-really thought this was Andre’s year.
Frankie: Nope.
Hunter: Nevertheless another outstanding performance by Andre, but God, it’s a shame he couldn’t clinch this win.
The blood that’s been shed by Marina keeps her from doing much of anything other than cling to the corner she uses to prop herself up. That means she has little defense against the man who is now locking eyes on her. Davids comes running in but immediately realizes that Marina wasn’t as powerless as she appeared. She gets her elbow up and into Davids’ lips. The blow knocks him back to the middle of the ring and Marina is joining him there. The two come mono-a-mono and the crowd come unglued at the sight of this face-off.
Hunter: Here we go, this is it. One of these two are going to win the Rumble.
Frankie: Is it going to be Davids going to Olympus, or is it going to be Marina headed to Invictus?
The San Siro is rattling in excitement at the visual of Marina and Davids setting to do battle, forced to clear this one final hurdle to claim victory. The two swing around into a barrage of punches, trying to weaken one another for that final fall over the cables. Eventually it’s Davids who wins out, grabbing the back of Marina’s head and holding it in place while destroying her face with forearms. He then backs up and goes for another knock out forearm, dashing into the blow that Marina ducks by means of bridging back into the crab walk. Davids spins back to his adversary, who then does a headstand, her shins falling onto his shoulders. She caps off this move with a head scissors that flings Davids across the squared circle.
Davids ends up in the ropes and Marina is bearing down upon him. Before she can reach her opposition he reaches out, catches her around the neck and sets up for a diamond cutter. Just before she falls victim to his cutter Marina puts her hands to Davids’ back and counters with the shove of all shoves. Davids is sent flying forward into the ropes and then falling over them.
Frankie: Davids is….
Hunter: Still in there!
The apron becomes a safe haven for Davids but it won’t be his sanctuary. He gets to his knees when one of Marina’s comes flying through the ropes, cracking him in the mug. The running knee ALMOST sends Davids falling back from the apron but he maintains a grip on the middle rope. He survives somehow, for how much longer? Who knows? Marina comes running on in with her knee leading the way but this time it never lands across her foe’s face, instead it’s Davids’ shin that lands across Marina’s brow.
The kick sends Marina twisting away from Davids, so disorientated that she doesn’t see him coming in from behind her. Davids latches onto his prey and uses this grip to run her towards the ropes, right on the verge of throwing her over. The fans cover their eyes as Marina goes soaring to the outside of the ring but she isn’t crashing all the way to the floor. Marina grabs the top rope on her way over then lands on her rump across the apron.
Marina slowly, painstakingly starts to exert what’s left of her energies to start sliding through the ropes and returning to the ring. Her throat gets very up close and personal with one of those cables though when she’s hit to the back of the skull with a scissors kick. Davids nails the kick that sends Marina’s throat cascading down into the middle rope and snapping back off of it. She falls back from the ring and to the floor….
Hunter: It’s over!
Frankie: Chris Davids is going to Olymp…..
Hunter: Wait-wait-wait…look at Marina’s feet…their NOT on the floor.
Those feet being referenced have HOOKED around the bottom rope. She’s hanging upside down from them with only the tips of her hair and her droplets of blood touching the ground. Much to Davids confusion his hand is not being raised in victory, looking to the outside of the ring at the official who informs him that Marina is NOT eliminated…not as of yet. With wide eyes Davids whips around and locks his crosshairs on Marina. Now she’s sitting on the apron and using the ropes to go even further, verging on standing back up.
Hunter: Never before have I seen will power on display like this before.
Frankie: That will power isn’t about to matter, because here comes Davids’ shoulder.
A head full of steam is being built by Davids, who hustles across the squared circle before diving into a spear. It seems Marina is about to be eliminated in the exact same way her friend Andre was, but she learns from her associate’s mistake. Marina leaps up from the ring apron and swings her legs over the top rope, catching Davids around the neck once he gets within range. She falls back and she hurricaranas Davids over the strands to the outside of the ring.
Hunter: Davids to the outside!
Frankie: But not to the floor!
To the astonishment of everyone Davids lands on the ring apron, staving off a fall to the ground. He uses the ropes to reach his feet, standing right beside Marina, who continues to put the bulk of her weight on the cables. Those ropes won’t save Marina should Davids deliver what he’s got on his mind. He nails a boot across Marina’s lips, sending her staggering back and putting just enough distance between the competitors that Davids can get a running start behind the spear. He runs across the apron and dives right…UNDER Marina. She leaps into the air at the last second, clearing Davids and the top rope on her way back into the ring. Conversely Davids makes his way head first into the exposed turnbuckle post. His skull bounces back from the steel and he turns in a dazed state right into the rolling Liger kick. Marina flips forward and her legs crash right into Davids, sending him flying off the apron to the ringside mats.
Hunter: HE’S OOOOUT! DAVIDS FALLS TO THE FLOOR!
Frankie: Wait…no-no-no….don’t tell me…don’t tell me she’s done it.
Hunter: Marina! Marina has done the unthinkable.
Every fan in the San Siro are on their feet giving an ovation to Marina that she justly deserves. A celebration is in order, Marina repressing her injures in order to bask in the hardest fought win of her career.
Hunter: It was a night of torture and torment for Marina, but ultimately a night of triumph.
Frankie: She was hit with everything tonight, from steel chains to barbwire bats and yet she still survives? Someone tell me how this is possible.
Hunter: I wish I knew. The condition of her body wasn’t the best, but the condition of her spirit was never challenged.
That spirit is on display as Marina gets back to her feet and raises her arms high overhead in victory. With blood and sweat rolling down her body she turns to overlook her screaming fans, enjoying this celebration right along with her loyal supporters. But there’s one amongst the thousands who is not a supporter, and he damn sure isn’t joining her in celebration. Instead the brass knuckles around his fist are joining Marina’s forehead.
Hunter: HUH!?!
Frankie: It’s-it’s-it’s ORLANDO!
Hunter: ORLANDO CRUZE!?! Oh my God, I forgot all about him! He was never eliminated!
Frankie: This is brilliant! He was lying outside of the ring this whole time. Lying in wait.
Hunter: He just popped Marina with brass knuckles. Where did he get those from?
Frankie: That doesn’t matter. All that does matter is that he’s on his way to victory.
A smile is plastered over Orlando’s face as he removes his brass knuckles and taps them against his temple.
Orlando: Brains over brawn.
Chuckles follow. The brass knuckles are thrown aside and Marina is about to be thrown over the ropes. He grabs Marina by the hair, using it to pull her up off of the ground.
Orlando: Just in case you haven’t heard. (Bending down to shout right into Marina’s ear) We are Monarchy, and we RULE!
Orlando forces Marina along into the ropes only for her to fall right through his fingers. She collapses to her elbows and knees, looking down into the blood that is puddling across the canvas. An annoyed Orlando reaches down and laughingly starts to lead her up to her feet. He no sooner gets her on her feet before receiving a mouth full of brass knuckles. Marina has picked up the weapon dropped by her adversary and employs it to crack Orlando right in the kisser. Somehow the ropes are enough to hold Orlando up, at least long enough to suffer yet another strike in the forehead with the brass knuckles. Marina runs in and delivers a punch so powerful that it sends the Icon twisting over the ropes and going down to the floor.
Frankie: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!!???!!
Hunter: Marina has finally done it! She has finally pulled off a miracle!
Frankie: This is-this is IMPOSSIBLE. Orlando had the match won. He should be going to Invictus.
Hunter: He’s not, because that’s Marina’s destination.
The reaction is simply indescribable when ‘Glamorous’ plays over the loud speakers and Marina raises one arm aloft. It isn’t until her endorphins kick in and the adrenaline really starts to surge that she manages to pull herself up off of the canvas, stagger across the ring and fall against the ropes. Her eyes slowly rise, staring through the blood caked across her face in order to see the symbol, the Invictus emblem hanging from the rafters.
Hunter: That’s right Marina, you’ve done it! You’ve won the Rumble, and you’re headed to Invictus.
Frankie: I still can’t believe it, I still don’t know how this is possible. Explain to me how this happened, Greyson.
Hunter: I am not….you know what, forget it. I’m too excited…I’m too thrilled, Marina will be competing in the main event of Invictus and challenging for the World Title!
That excitement is infectious. It’s not until the crowd really lets loose with their emotion that Marina climbs up onto the middle rope and raises a shivering finger towards the Invictus emblem. Fireworks explode around that symbol and then from the rafters over Marina’s head. She’s showered in pyrotechnics and in the screams of her thousands and thousands of fans.
Hunter: Tonight is Marina’s night, but will Invictus be her night as well? She’s challenging for the World Title on the biggest platform in IWC history. Congratulations Marina, you overcame so much to move on to the main event of the IWC’s most prolific event.
Frankie: It was a grueling night, mostly because I had to sit beside you at commentary for so long, but I toughed it out and Marina did too.
Hunter: The Invictus main event is set, Katelyn Buehler to defend the championship against Marina Valdivia. This is Hunter and Frankie signing off from the sight of Last Stand. Goodnight.
Frankie: It’s been a hell of a show.
The final image from this historic night is the sight of Marina standing on the middle rope and pointing to the Invictus emblem while pyrotechnics rain down over her.
FADE TO BLACK
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